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Speaker 1: Seanna Kennedy, Welcome to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Paul. Great to be here.

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Speaker 1: It's great to be here after a little bit of

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Speaker 1: technical issues with the other podcast. Jesus does my head

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Speaker 1: in anyway.

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Speaker 2: But we adapt to change, right, We adapt.

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Speaker 1: And we adopted change. We did adopt the change, We

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Speaker 1: adapted and we overcame, which we're going to talk about

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Speaker 1: in a little bit. Actually, So you are one of

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Speaker 1: Australia's top life coatures. You also are strategic which we

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Speaker 1: will jump into strategic planner. You've written eight books, all

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Speaker 1: I think which will be of relevance to our listener.

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Speaker 1: But I want to start with your story and how

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Speaker 1: you ended up here, so just give us that.

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Speaker 2: I'll give you that in a nutshell for you. So,

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Speaker 2: I was raised with the old ethic of work as

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Speaker 2: hard as you possibly can, and work ethic was just

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Speaker 2: ground into us, like if you're going to get anywhere

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Speaker 2: in life, just work as hard as you can. That

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Speaker 2: Dutch European go hard or go home mentality. So you know,

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Speaker 2: when I was eighteen, I thought, yeah, okay, that's a

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Speaker 2: great idea. I don't want to go to UNI. I

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Speaker 2: want to be a stockbroker because I'd watched Wall Street

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Speaker 2: the movie, and I thought that was really cool. I

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Speaker 2: like Gordon Gecko, I'm I'm going to be a stockbroker. Mom, dad,

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Speaker 2: They're like, okay, that's great. So I actually rang a

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Speaker 2: Melbourne stockbroking firm and this is over thirty years ago.

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Speaker 2: Every day, twice a day, the hr lady twice a

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Speaker 2: day until she realized I'm going to keep bringing until

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Speaker 2: I get the job. So I got a job filing

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Speaker 2: down in the dungeon. And this is the days when

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Speaker 2: the stock exchange was still chalk on the whiteboard, people

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Speaker 2: running around screaming. So I'm like, this is just the

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Speaker 2: best place on earth. Woked my way out to be

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Speaker 2: the first girl to sit on the trading desk there,

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Speaker 2: and it was huge and I was only twenty.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: But I worked really hard and was one of those

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Speaker 2: sponges and really adapted to anything that they would throw

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Speaker 2: at me and just went in hard and so that

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Speaker 2: was great. And then I realized I don't have a degree.

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Speaker 2: And they said, well, you're a girl, you don't have

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Speaker 2: a degree, and you're only twenty there's a bit of

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Speaker 2: an issue. So I said, okay, I'll just go and

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Speaker 2: get a bit older. So I just traveled the world

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Speaker 2: for a couple of years as a backpacker by myself

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Speaker 2: and worked overseas and did the ski season in Switzerland

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Speaker 2: and all the amazing things came back, got my job back,

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Speaker 2: and I said, well, you're still a girl, and you

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Speaker 2: still don't have a degree. So I looked around and

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Speaker 2: I really saw it was like the Wolf of Wall

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Speaker 2: Street and I thought, you know, this is really no

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Speaker 2: place for a girl. This is over thirty years ago.

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Speaker 2: It was really bad in there. So I got a

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Speaker 2: job in sport as a secretary to a lawyer who

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Speaker 2: had ten of Australia's best golfers. And he said, I

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Speaker 2: will teach you how to run a business from the

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Speaker 2: ground up if you're really interested. And me, hell yes,

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Speaker 2: I don't know anything about it, but I'm going to

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Speaker 2: go in full throttle. So that's what I did. Ended

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Speaker 2: up running his business and so he could go to

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Speaker 2: the US with the golfers. So that was sports management

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Speaker 2: and that was fantastic, negotiating contracts, going on tour with

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Speaker 2: the golfers, running corporate golf days. Absolutely loved it was

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Speaker 2: in heaven sounds awesome. Yes, so such a good job.

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Speaker 2: And then then Ballet Sunglasses saw me at the golf

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Speaker 2: and they said, we love what you do. We've got

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Speaker 2: one hundred athletes in ten different sports. We need a

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Speaker 2: Jerry maguire. Can you come and be the sponsorship manager.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, well, hell yes, I don't know what to do,

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Speaker 2: but I'll just jump in and I married that job.

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Speaker 2: It was seven days a week sports on the weekend,

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Speaker 2: I had ten different sports to learn. I was in

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Speaker 2: charge of the pr for the company, the marketing for ski.

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Speaker 2: It was enormous, but I was in heaven, like absolutely

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Speaker 2: loved it. No offs which, no self care strategy, no

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Speaker 2: mental health. This is you know, twenty five years ago.

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Speaker 2: It was huge, just as I said, go hard or

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Speaker 2: go home, and that cost me my health. So because

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Speaker 2: I had no off switch and even went to every

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Speaker 2: after party and traveled around to watch all of the events,

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Speaker 2: that ended in chronic fatigue syndrome, which was so much

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Speaker 2: burnt out that I was in bed for a year,

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Speaker 2: where you know, you fry your entire nervous system. I

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Speaker 2: couldn't have any lights on because it would burn my eyes.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't read the newspaper because the ink would burn

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Speaker 2: my nose. I still, twenty seven years later, cannot read

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Speaker 2: a newspaper.

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Speaker 1: Interestingly, I'll just jump in here because I've been talking

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Speaker 1: about this a lot in terms of hyper cortus or ema.

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Speaker 1: So I'm going to give this the geeky scientific version

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Speaker 1: of what you felt. Right. Yeah, So we when we're

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Speaker 1: in busy jobs, we dip into hypercordisolina on a daily basis, right,

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Speaker 1: that is, producing high levels of cortisol. Then we recover

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Speaker 1: and then we dip into it and then we recover.

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Speaker 1: But if we don't recover effectively, we start to stay

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Speaker 1: in hypercordisolemia. And that is when that cortisol really starts

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Speaker 1: to attack your body. It attacks your immune system, it

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Speaker 1: attacks your brain as well. And then eventually, what happens

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Speaker 1: from a physiological perspective, the adrenal glands are enlarging because

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Speaker 1: they're pumping out so much stress hormones, and then what

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Speaker 1: we see in burnout is they shrink. And when you

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Speaker 1: can't produce enough cortisol because the adrenals are shrunk, then

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Speaker 1: you are absolutely goosed. That's when we get autoimmune conditions,

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Speaker 1: chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, just have no energy whatsoever, because

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Speaker 1: cordiso what the most people don't realize. It's cordisol that

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Speaker 1: gets you up in the morning, right, our cordsol peaks

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Speaker 1: around the town that we normally get up too much

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Speaker 1: as bad. But if you can't produce it because you've

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Speaker 1: bu't those adrenals, you are absolutely ghost fried.

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Speaker 2: Where were you twenty five years ago? If that was

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Speaker 2: explained twenty five years ago, my life would be quite different.

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Speaker 2: So what happened was, we don't know what's wrong with you.

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Speaker 2: Off you go to the Alfred. We think you've got

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Speaker 2: like you've been to Africa on a holiday, and we

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Speaker 2: think you know, you've got parasites in your body. We

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Speaker 2: think you've got leukemia, we think you've got MS, or

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Speaker 2: we think you've got lupus. So they do a process

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Speaker 2: of elimination of everything, and then they say, I think

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Speaker 2: you've got something called chronic fatigue, but we don't know

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Speaker 2: what that is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, And particularly back then was because my

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Speaker 1: mom had it as well, and they didn't know what

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Speaker 1: it was, and doctors thought it was in people's heads

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Speaker 1: back then.

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Speaker 2: Right, which yeah, because you don't look sick.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's lovely, isn't it. When somebody say, it's all

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Speaker 1: in your head.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, I wish I had plaster or

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Speaker 2: something because then people would see. But my parents could see.

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Speaker 2: It's like my eyes would just go dead and my

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Speaker 2: skin would just go gray. I couldn't get up in

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Speaker 2: the morning at all. Exactly what you said. It was

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Speaker 2: like I had this hugest hangover, but I hadn't been out,

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Speaker 2: I hadn't had any alcohol, and I was like eating.

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Speaker 2: It was like totally ripped off. And so you can

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Speaker 2: imagine at twenty nine, how when you're in the prime

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Speaker 2: of your life. What happened was I went into such

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Speaker 2: a deep depression because I'm like, I'm twenty nine. I

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Speaker 2: can't go out, I can't drive my car, I can

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Speaker 2: hardly shower myself, I can't get to the letterbox. What

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Speaker 2: the hell is happening? And nobody could help at all.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And one thing just to jump in there again,

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Speaker 1: sorry Seanna, is that that hyper cortus ol emia actually

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Speaker 1: destroy It attacks the briand and destroys the vesicles in

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Speaker 1: the brian that produce serotonin and other neural transmitters. So

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Speaker 1: you go into a state of unheedle near which is

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Speaker 1: an inability to feel pleasure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, one hundred percent. And so I actually

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Speaker 2: employed myself a coach because I had been around high

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Speaker 2: performance for so long, I thought, well, everyone's got a coach.

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Speaker 2: I want to coach too, So I didn't need a counselor.

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Speaker 2: I knew there was you know, I was so depressed

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Speaker 2: because I actually realized I didn't know who I was

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Speaker 2: without my job. Yeah, And then I thought about all

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Speaker 2: of the athletes and the depressions that I had seen,

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Speaker 2: the suicide, the gambling, the drug addiction after sport, because

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Speaker 2: I was at the right in front of it, and

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Speaker 2: I thought, they don't know who they are without their

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Speaker 2: job either.

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Speaker 1: And there's a great crisis.

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Speaker 2: Correct. And this was happening at twenty nine. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: who am I without ballet? Because when you've got free

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Speaker 2: sunglasses and money to give away, you've got a lot

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Speaker 2: of friends, like a lah, And all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: I had no friends, and I was like, where is everybody?

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Speaker 2: You know? They've gone, oh, are you better yet? Are

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Speaker 2: you better yet? And I'm like, no, I'm not, I'm not.

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Speaker 2: I can't move And so it was huge. It was

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Speaker 2: a mass. I call it the gift I actually call

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Speaker 2: it the gift because it made me stop unpack all

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Speaker 2: of that terminology around working hard. I had to learn

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Speaker 2: about wellness before anybody else did. I had to work

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Speaker 2: with some coaches to really repack my brain, my body,

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Speaker 2: my spirit to have longevity and sustainability again. And it

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Speaker 2: was a very slow build, and I had to build

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Speaker 2: a whole new identity, which is who is Shanner without ballet.

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Speaker 2: And that's where the life plan and planning and being

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Speaker 2: strategic came into play. Because you're not your job. That's

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Speaker 2: just what you do and we want to enjoy it

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Speaker 2: and love it, but if it gets taken away, we

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Speaker 2: need to be strong enough to feel very confident in

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Speaker 2: who we are. So I started very early, and so

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Speaker 2: I started to study life coaching, and nobody had heard

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Speaker 2: of that, and everybody was like, what an idiot you are,

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Speaker 2: Like why would you give up this Jerry maguire job

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Speaker 2: to coach people? And I said, well, I've actually been

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Speaker 2: listening to these athletes for the last six years in

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Speaker 2: my office, actually telling me all about their lives, what's

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Speaker 2: going wrong, why they were so vulnerable in front of me,

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Speaker 2: and they couldn't talk to anybody else and I was

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Speaker 2: their sponsor, so I thought I obviously held this incredible

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Speaker 2: safe place for people. So yeah, I studied and had

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Speaker 2: my coach and we very slowly rebuilt me and I

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Speaker 2: opened my practice twenty two years ago to actually coach

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Speaker 2: at leads into retirement and do a life plan, which

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Speaker 2: is who are you without your sport and your job?

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Speaker 1: So we started with athletes. That's the obvious step obviously,

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Speaker 1: because you knew that thing and saw that happening.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So I had an instant business because nobody

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Speaker 2: knew what they would do after sport. And you have

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Speaker 2: to remember twenty five years ago, nobody cared about an athlete.

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Speaker 2: The business manager was like, see you later, I can't

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Speaker 2: make any money out of you. There were no programs,

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Speaker 2: There was no such thing as mental health at all.

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Speaker 2: There was no such thing as boundaries, There was no

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Speaker 2: such thing as planning post sport back then. So I

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Speaker 2: actually went to sink Kilda Football Club because I baried

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Speaker 2: for sink Kilda, and I spoke to them and they

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Speaker 2: said go away, like we don't want anyone messing with

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Speaker 2: these athletes, and it was really good.

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Speaker 1: And it was it because we don't want their head

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Speaker 1: space anywhere else but the GM until they're completely done.

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Speaker 2: Correct, correct, right, And then it was really interesting. About

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Speaker 2: ten years later, they took me out for lunch and

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Speaker 2: they said, we're so sorry. You were so ahead of

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Speaker 2: the game and you saw what was happening, but we

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Speaker 2: didn't want to see it. But now it's really a

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Speaker 2: part of their education and part of being an elite

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Speaker 2: athlete is to actually have a plan during and post sport,

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Speaker 2: so that they have that perspective and then they can

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Speaker 2: really commit to their smart sport more because they're not

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Speaker 2: so worried about well, I know that I've got a

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Speaker 2: bit of a plan in the future, so it actually

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Speaker 2: enhances their performance.

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Speaker 1: And do you find has that I spelled out into

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Speaker 1: all sports or is it just the sports where there's

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Speaker 1: a bit more money involved in it?

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Speaker 2: Definitely the sports with money, right. But what happened for

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Speaker 2: me was I did go to some football functions trying

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Speaker 2: to recruit some more players, because players would come to

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Speaker 2: me but not tell the coach and said, we really

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Speaker 2: worried about life after sport. And I sit sat next

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Speaker 2: to one man who was in banking, and he said,

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Speaker 2: you have been around high performance for so long. The

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Speaker 2: last decade, come into my business. I want you to

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Speaker 2: coach my leadership team on high performance and longevity. I

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Speaker 2: don't want them to burn out. So instantly the whole

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Speaker 2: corporate world opened up to me. There were no life coaches,

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Speaker 2: and I think I was the first person on a

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Speaker 2: stage at a corporate banking conference to talk about life

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Speaker 2: skills and wellness skills and not be woo woo. They

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Speaker 2: thought it was a bit bire and bay. You know,

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Speaker 2: wellness was for hippies who smoked some dope in purple pants.

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Speaker 2: That was wellness. And so I actually made it as

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Speaker 2: a high performance habit and then wrote the Life Plan,

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Speaker 2: which was the first simplified structure. Succeed was the first book,

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Speaker 2: and it was the first book that anyone had at

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Speaker 2: a conference and sold at a conference. So this is

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Speaker 2: fifteen years ago, so it was a long time ago,

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Speaker 2: and it's been a slow burn all the way through.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Interesting, and so when did you was? Was that?

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Speaker 1: Really the transition from just athletes to into business was

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Speaker 1: from that? Okay? And it's interesting that you talk about

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Speaker 1: couching it in terms of performance, because all the stuff

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Speaker 1: that I do around well being, I couch in terms

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Speaker 1: of performance because that's what often with high performance, that's

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Speaker 1: what pushes the buttons right, and it's about sustainable high performance,

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Speaker 1: like how do we keep you? And for me, the analogy,

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Speaker 1: the perfect analogy is athlete over training. And you know,

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Speaker 1: the research shows that athlete over training syndrome and corporate

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Speaker 1: burnout have exactly the same physiology. It is just too

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Speaker 1: much stress hormones in the athlete. It is mostly physical,

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Speaker 1: but a fur bit of psychological. I think a lot

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Speaker 1: of people don't realize how much psychological stress around, particularly

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Speaker 1: if they're an athlete who has a high pro but

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of physical stress on them. And there's

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Speaker 1: a tight rope, as you will well know, between optimal

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Speaker 1: performance and overtraining syndrome. And it's exactly the same in

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Speaker 1: the corporate world. And when we look at those two conditions,

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Speaker 1: you know, both of them are characterized by impacts on mood,

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Speaker 1: impacts on sleep, and sensitivity to infections, cardiovascular changes, hormonal changes,

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Speaker 1: cellular inflammation. Like it is exactly the same, but it's

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Speaker 1: two different cohorts with slightly different stressors. And I think

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Speaker 1: then corporates tend to make it worse because they come

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Speaker 1: home on a Friday and go fucking hell, that was

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Speaker 1: a hard way. I need a bottle of wine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah every night.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to say, not just a Friday.

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Speaker 2: So I call all of my clients athletes. So you

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Speaker 2: could be a stay at home as a client of mine,

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Speaker 2: you could be a CEO. So I coach a lot

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Speaker 2: of ceo. It's a lot of olympias, a lot of

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Speaker 2: business owners, etc. And I call them all an athlete.

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Speaker 2: And I said, you have to think of yourself as

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Speaker 2: an athlete, an athlete of life, and you're an athlete

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Speaker 2: of business, and you need to respect recovery as much

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Speaker 2: as performance. And what happens is none of them respect recovery. Oh,

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Speaker 2: I feel guilty, the mum, I feel so guilty if

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Speaker 2: I go and have a massage or a power and

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Speaker 2: app or you know, the CEO says, oh no, no,

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Speaker 2: I don't have time. I'm like, well, then you're the

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Speaker 2: athlete that never leaves the track. I want you to

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Speaker 2: think of yourself as the Roger Federer who never recovers.

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Speaker 2: And you just keep hitting balls and you don't do

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Speaker 2: the iceparthing, and you don't do the nutrition, and you

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Speaker 2: don't do the hydration, and you don't do the massage

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Speaker 2: and you don't do the sleep, He's not going to

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Speaker 2: keep performing. So you need Once I get them to

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Speaker 2: think like an athlete, they can easily give themselves some boundary.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Look, we are so aligned on this, and I

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Speaker 1: know and you know, there's been zero power operation for

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Speaker 1: this podcast, right, we just jumped into it. But I

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Speaker 1: talked to corps about being an executive athlete exactly the

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Speaker 1: same thing, and say, most of the performance improvements in

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Speaker 1: the world of sport in the last five to ten

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Speaker 1: years have been through recovery methods, not through training. Right,

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Speaker 1: They've had that mostly neiled. Right, And you look as

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Speaker 1: exactly as you said, what are these athletes doing to recover.

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Speaker 1: They're doing ice bas They're doing contrast hot and cold, right,

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Speaker 1: They're doing mass size, They're all doing prigging, breath work

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Speaker 1: and meditation. They are are very very serious around their

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Speaker 1: sleep hygiene. Right, They're not just coming home eating shit food,

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Speaker 1: drinking alcohol and fucking up their sleep.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly. But you know what, I think that

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Speaker 2: people like you and people like me actually do it.

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Speaker 2: We're high performing humans and we actually do it. And

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of people in corporate are listening

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Speaker 2: to people who don't do it, and I think that's

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Speaker 2: a You know, I have a hot tub. Every single

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Speaker 2: night after dinner, I get in my pool, which is

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Speaker 2: like an ice bath every single night, get up at

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Speaker 2: six some of my body can raise the family, written

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Speaker 2: eight books, never burnt out again, super fit. You know,

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Speaker 2: you've got to listen to the right people. I think

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Speaker 2: you are actually practical and doing this kind of stuff

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Speaker 2: and helping them be very strategic about how they warm

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Speaker 2: up for the day, how they pace the race of

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Speaker 2: the day, and how they cool down for the day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I like that, the strategic stuff. Yeah, it is

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Speaker 1: so important. And I will often say to corporates, when

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Speaker 1: you're telling me that you do not have time for exercise,

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Speaker 1: that is when you absolutely have to make time for exercise.

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Speaker 1: And it's not just exercise, it's all those recovery things. Right,

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Speaker 1: you don't have time for it, You freaking have to

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Speaker 1: carve ote the time otherwise you are headed towards bonotte.

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Speaker 1: And it is nasty shit, right people.

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Speaker 2: I still live with it. I still live with chronic

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Speaker 2: fatigue and depression, so it is Unfortunately, it was a

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Speaker 2: burn so bad that it did change my whole body.

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Speaker 2: So you know, the sensitivity in my ears still, like

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Speaker 2: if my husband starts whistling, like I want to kill him,

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Speaker 2: like like my ear, like it's like my ear. The

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Speaker 2: senses in there have been burnt. As I said, I

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Speaker 2: still can't read a newspaper. Like this is life long damage.

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Speaker 2: I do have to take a bit of medication for depression,

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Speaker 2: just a very mild dose, because there's something damaged up

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Speaker 2: there chemically. But we can do all the affirmation work

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Speaker 2: and the vision boards everywhere everything's happening, but it's still

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Speaker 2: something is damaged in there from such severe burnout. And

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Speaker 2: I really feel for people who can't catch it early enough.

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Speaker 2: And it just wasn't spoken about then. It was like,

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Speaker 2: oh you feel shocking, go to work. Oh you've got

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Speaker 2: a headache, go to work. Oh you've got the flu,

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Speaker 2: go to work. There was no boundary.

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Speaker 1: Interesting, so you're talking about those long term consequences and

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Speaker 1: this really so I'm very over over a lot of

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Speaker 1: this have been for years, but it really landed in

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Speaker 1: our house about eighteen months two years ago with my

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Speaker 1: little thirteen year old he was twelve at the time,

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Speaker 1: got diagnosed with Cushing's disease. Which is a tumor on

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Speaker 1: the petitary gland that hyper secretes cortisol. Right, and he

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Speaker 1: had fifteen times the normal amount of cortisol. And just

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Speaker 1: seeing over the period of a couple of months, seeing

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Speaker 1: the rapid decline in his mental health from a kid

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Speaker 1: who was so engaged in life, total social withdrawal. And

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Speaker 1: then he started to put on a little bit of

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Speaker 1: weight and I thought maybe he was just it was

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Speaker 1: a bit of overtraining or stuff. It might have been puberty.

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Speaker 1: Then he developed the moon face. And that's when I

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Speaker 1: went ship when my wife showed me photographs of him

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Speaker 1: three months previously, like in that three months boom, but

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Speaker 1: the the anhead only like the impact on mood was ridiculous,

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Speaker 1: absu It was the worst thing. But here's the thing

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Speaker 1: that I want to make people aware of. If people

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Speaker 1: are not treated with Cushing's disease, their average life expectancy

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Speaker 1: is five years. So that's five years of hyper cortisolma,

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Speaker 1: like a ridiculous amount kills people, right, and they become

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Speaker 1: massively overwegh the vast majority of them become really overweighted.

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Speaker 1: They're in a deep, deep depressive hole. They've got no energy.

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Speaker 1: It just impacts every facet of their life. Right, So

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Speaker 1: that is what that court because there's no feedback loop

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Speaker 1: with Cushing's disease, right, there's no off switch because they

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Speaker 1: tree is just stimulating the adrenals to keep pushing it,

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Speaker 1: keep pushing it, keep pushing it. So when we take

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Speaker 1: that extreme, it's not hard to see how the next

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Speaker 1: step dying of that, which is that bonot and HW

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Speaker 1: that creates fibromles chronic fatigue syndrome, but long, long, long

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Speaker 1: lasting impacts on the Brian throughout the central nervous system,

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Speaker 1: so at the body, because like unregulated long term cortisoll

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Speaker 1: is ragging bad jut.

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Speaker 2: I often have conversations with Alis dea Lynch, who was

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Speaker 2: the first footballer AFL footballer who was diagnosed with chronic fatigue,

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Speaker 2: and he sort of made it known to the public,

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Speaker 2: I suppose, because he was a personality. And we often

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Speaker 2: say we're ninety five percent cured, but there's five percent

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Speaker 2: and it's right there, like in the morning if you

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Speaker 2: have one late night. So if I have one late night,

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Speaker 2: I will wake up with that hangover and it takes

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Speaker 2: me a while to get moving. I mean every morning

401
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Speaker 2: I wake up feeling like I have a hangover. That's

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Speaker 2: why I have to get out into the cold and

403
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Speaker 2: walk for an hour and then it's gone, and then

404
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Speaker 2: it's gone. But never do I wake up feeling good.

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Speaker 2: But the brain training that I do, the mindset training

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Speaker 2: that I do what I tell myself to feel how

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Speaker 2: I need to feel, that's just that's been built over

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Speaker 2: twenty years and it's still here. There's sticky notes everywhere,

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Speaker 2: training my brain to really help the body feel how

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Speaker 2: I need it to feel, which is joyful and light

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Speaker 2: and energetic, and I love myself and I love my life,

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Speaker 2: and I have to let today be effortless and easy.

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Speaker 2: You know. All of these wording is actually a really

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Speaker 2: big part of retraining the body and keeping it at

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Speaker 2: the ninety five percent.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really interesting because there's an analogy which I

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Speaker 1: think most people will get. Right. So, if you have

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Speaker 1: a car and you are constantly reving your car right

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Speaker 1: super high revs, you are going to burn out that engine, right,

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Speaker 1: You're going to completely destroy that engine. Right. So here's

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Speaker 1: the analogy. You have one engine, right, and people are

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Speaker 1: running that engine so so hot, and then what they're

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Speaker 1: going to do is are going to screw the engine,

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Speaker 1: and then you're not loading new engine. All you can

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Speaker 1: do is bring a mechanic in to do what they

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Speaker 1: can do to try and keep that engine going. But

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Speaker 1: there's no way that engine is ever going to perform again.

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Speaker 1: Once you go past a certain threshold, you just can't

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Speaker 1: get it back right.

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Speaker 2: Well, I always say I'm still a Ferrari, but I'm

431
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 2: a Ferrari with a crack in the engine, you go right.

432
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 2: So I'm still a high performer, very much a high performer,

433
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 2: but there's a little crack in the engine that I

434
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,719
Speaker 2: if I push that little bit, that rev that litle bit,

435
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 2: the crack will come open.

436
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 1: So very interesting.

437
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 2: I still feel all like I'm a Ferrari. I still

438
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 2: operate my life. My life is outstanding, but there's a

439
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 2: little crack that you know, I'm the first to leave

440
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,400
Speaker 2: the party. I hardly drink any alcohol because that would

441
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 2: just open the crack. So it's all about managing that

442
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 2: little hairline fracture that's always there.

443
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 1: Interesting, So let's lie, let's let's have a little flip

444
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 1: chain to pierce and talk then about the lessons that

445
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: you've learned over the years, books from yourself and then

446
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: from coaching many many people over the years. Let's talk

447
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 1: about life planning, right, because there's lots of people who

448
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 1: just frigging me under through through life right when I

449
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 1: do workshops. When I do I much prefer doing longer

450
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 1: workshops than keynotes, and often will talk about purpose in life.

451
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 1: And so many people, I say, who's got a clearly

452
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 1: defined purpose in life? It's generally less than five percent

453
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 1: of the room. And then you know how many people

454
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,880
Speaker 1: have wrestled with it quite a lot. And I say,

455
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 1: how many people are like, what fuck are you talking about? Purpose?

456
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 1: And quite a few ants go up? Right, So, but

457
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 1: we need to have plans. That's just for everything. You

458
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 1: got to have plans. So let's talk give us the

459
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:16,719
Speaker 1: basics first of all about life planning, and then we

460
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 1: can dive into what I'm really keen to get your

461
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: insights are, is life planning? Is it different strategically from

462
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: when you're young to middle age doing that juggle right

463
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 1: with the kids, the older parents who are getting sick,

464
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 1: you know, hormones are fucking with you, both female and meal,

465
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 1: which we don't talk about a lot, right, And then

466
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 1: is there a difference then when you are an older

467
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 1: adult in the twilight of your life.

468
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 2: Okay, well, first of all, plans, why are they important?

469
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 2: And I think it's about we live in Melbourne and

470
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 2: I say to people, what are you doing next year

471
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 2: and the year after and in five years? They go off,

472
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 2: I have no idea, Like seriously, I don't know what

473
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 2: I'm doing next week. I'm surviving. So I'm like, oh, right,

474
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 2: so you're driving around the roundabout. That's where you're going

475
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,399
Speaker 2: around the roundabout. But what if I said that we

476
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 2: could go to Sydney and then Brisbane and then Darwin

477
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,879
Speaker 2: and Perth and we could finish in the mold Ives.

478
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 2: What just happened to your brain? And they go oh,

479
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 2: I instantly saw a map and I could feel myself

480
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 2: going down the slide into the water in the mold

481
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,199
Speaker 2: Ives brain. Okay, now we have a plan. Now you

482
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 2: know a direction to going. Now we plan in pencil,

483
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 2: because you could change your mind and we get curveballs

484
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,959
Speaker 2: and there might be some detours and we might have

485
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 2: to change the route or you might change your mind.

486
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter. But the brain needs a roadmap, and without

487
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 2: the roadmap, you are just driving going. It's like the

488
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 2: GPS in the car. If we don't plot that GPS

489
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 2: in the car. You are driving nervous, I've got to

490
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 2: look for the signs and am I going the right way?

491
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 2: And how long will it take? But when we plot

492
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,879
Speaker 2: the GPS in the car, now, oh my god, maps

493
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,679
Speaker 2: just took all the stress away, right. We just follow

494
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 2: the map. It's exactly the same. So when we say

495
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,239
Speaker 2: where do you want to be in five years, they go,

496
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 2: I don't know. The first thing to do is say, okay,

497
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 2: how old will you be in five years? How old

498
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 2: will your child be in five years? How old will

499
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 2: your grandparents be in five years? How old will the

500
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,919
Speaker 2: dog be in five years? And you'll see a landscape

501
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 2: change instantly. And then when you do it for ten years,

502
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,199
Speaker 2: in ten years, I'll have no kids at home. In

503
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 2: ten years, I'll have no parents. You know, in ten years,

504
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 2: I won't have a dog. Like my life in ten

505
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 2: year is going to be completely different. Oh okay. Then

506
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 2: all of a sudden they get it instantly. So I'm like, okay, yeah,

507
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 2: you do need a map. Yeah, Like, keep going the same,

508
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 2: you'll be burnt out, you won't be where you want

509
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 2: you Financially, you wouldn't have done the right savings and

510
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 2: you'll be in the shit.

511
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 1: Basically an interesting us to analysy of the GPS. So

512
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 1: I used to flying helicopters, right, and so we if

513
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 1: we were going from point A to point B, Yes,

514
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 1: you draw your line on the map, but you have

515
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 1: way points. We always had way points, which was a

516
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 1: place where you could check in to see if you

517
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: are on track. Right, and before the GPS, we had

518
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: to do what's called dead reckoning before GPS was involved.

519
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: And even with GPS, you know, we do all our

520
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 1: training where you've got to do dead reckoning where you

521
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: have that line on the map and then you are

522
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 1: plotting where you are on the map because wind is

523
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 1: going to change and it's going to drift you off

524
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: the map, and you need to know how far away

525
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: you are from the map. And then that way point

526
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 1: that you've done, that becomes an opportunity for you to

527
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: reset everything in order to get to the next way point.

528
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: So I love your five year and ten year analogy

529
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 1: because that's a way of then checking in, because you

530
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 1: don't just get a plan and then just go off

531
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: willy nilly right.

532
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no. So this is what I do

533
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 2: with my clients, is we do a twenty year plan.

534
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 2: And it started with you know Matthew McConaughey's amazing Oscar

535
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 2: speech where he says his role model is his ten

536
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 2: year old a self. So you are constantly chasing your

537
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 2: ten year older self. If you're eighteen, you're chasing a

538
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 2: twenty eight year old self, and if you're twenty eight,

539
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 2: you're thirty eight year And that's the bigger, better version

540
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 2: of you who's evolved, and that's your role model. And

541
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 2: it's supposed to be exciting your life. You want to

542
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 2: be in the driver's seat. So I get my clients

543
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 2: to get excited about this is your life. And if

544
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 2: you're not planning your life, you'll be living someone else's

545
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 2: plan at the end of the day. So let's get

546
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 2: your plan going. Let's get excited. Life is an adventure.

547
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 2: Let's plot some amazing points over the next ten years.

548
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 2: So we do a twenty year plan where basically you

549
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 2: write your age down for the next twenty years. In

550
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 2: the next column you would be writing down your kids

551
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 2: ages and then some other So my twenty year plan,

552
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 2: which lives right here next to me, is twenty years

553
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 2: old now and it's full, and it is the gift

554
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 2: to my children. It's a full run sheet of when

555
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 2: they broke their arm and every holiday they went on,

556
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 2: and where we lived, and it's got you know what

557
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 2: mum was doing and what Dad was doing, and when

558
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: you've got your braces on, and when you had your

559
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 2: best girlfriend, and what you were doing at school and

560
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 2: what you're after school activities were. So I'm on my

561
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 2: second one, my midlife plan.

562
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 1: So that plan then becomes a history, right.

563
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 2: It's a full run sheet.

564
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: Very cool.

565
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's the statistics of where we drove from,

566
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 2: how we got from Melbourne to Sydney, and all the

567
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 2: towns we stopped at and all the highlights along the way.

568
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 2: It's all there for them. So I'm on my second plan,

569
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 2: which is my midlife plan, which is fifty to seventy.

570
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,719
Speaker 2: So that's the midlife plan and then there'll be the

571
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 2: seventy to ninety plans. You've really got three twenty year

572
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 2: plans that you could be working with for your life.

573
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 2: I think where you strategically plot well by the time

574
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 2: I'm fifty eat, where do I want to be financially,

575
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 2: where do I need my health to be, How do

576
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 2: I want to start my fifties, How do I want

577
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 2: to start my sixties? What is my what are all

578
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 2: the things I need to do for my four buckets

579
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 2: of health, which is physical health how I eat, move, sleep,

580
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 2: and breathe. And my mental health, which is you know,

581
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,840
Speaker 2: where do I want to be mentally and what is

582
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 2: the training that I want to do, and how do

583
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 2: I want to feel? Where do I want to be

584
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 2: with my emotional health which is the heart space, which

585
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 2: is the kindness and gratitude and compassion. You can't give

586
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,959
Speaker 2: it if you don't have any for yourself, So this

587
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 2: is self mastery. And then there's spiritual health. Where do

588
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 2: I want to be with my spiritual health journey, which

589
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 2: is my perspective, my feeling of belonging to something bigger

590
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 2: than myself, which becomes more and more important in the

591
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 2: second midlife plan, and then definitely the last plan.

592
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: Absolutely, yes, Jesus has so much stuff to unpack. You

593
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 1: But I was actually talking to Kylie last night we

594
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 1: just didn't having a chat, and I was just, you know,

595
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 1: I'm it just it frustraates me, and it concerns me

596
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: about the amount of people who come home and they

597
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: just plunk themselves either in front of a TV or

598
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 1: on a screen on fucking social media, and they are

599
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 1: living a life within four walls and generally through a screen.

600
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 1: And it's like, you know, I'd love to, and I

601
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 1: think we need to. We need to get to our

602
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 1: kids and really drill into them that you know, the

603
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 1: secret to a good life is being fucking engaged in life,

604
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 1: awe and wonder and going out and meeting people and

605
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: exploring and being interested in shit and like getting your

606
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 1: brillin stimulated by stuff, not sitting on your fucking arse

607
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 1: looking at a screen, either passively absorbing Netflix and shit

608
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: reality TV shows or just living vicariously through social media.

609
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: It's like, that is no way. But the point I

610
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 1: think I want to get to is your whole idea

611
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 1: around those life stages and having all of these goals

612
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: and stuff. Because we now know that the brain releases

613
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 1: dopamine when it knows you're in forwards motion towards your goal, right,

614
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: And all these people are sitting waiting for the fucking

615
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 1: motivation Faerry to come along and give them some motivation

616
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: to go and do stuff or sort their shit out.

617
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 1: And the way you call forward the Ferry is that

618
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 1: you take positive action towards your goal. And if you

619
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 1: don't have a goal and they have a plan, then

620
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: we're the very incommon, the very incommon. It's as simple

621
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 1: as that.

622
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 2: So my fine rings because people say I'm at a crossroads,

623
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 2: I'm stuck, I don't have a plan, and I'm like, yeah,

624
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 2: you're driving around the roundabout. So until you decide, And

625
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 2: the plan is really based on for me personally, how

626
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 2: do you want to feel and what life experiences do

627
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,399
Speaker 2: you want? Not your job?

628
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 1: Not your job, love it, love it.

629
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 2: So my twenty year plan is all based around how

630
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 2: do I want to feel? What life experiences do I want?

631
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,919
Speaker 2: With my kids who are now eighteen and twenty, so

632
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 2: we had the six months sabbatical living in the RV,

633
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 2: going around the national parks and exploring in the US

634
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 2: for six months and living in Colorado and hiking and

635
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 2: biking and fishing and outdoors and no screens and no

636
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 2: homework and nothing, just living. And all the different experiences

637
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 2: that we've had were planned and they were real, and

638
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,479
Speaker 2: there was lots of spontaneity coming in as well, which

639
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 2: was awesome. But to get to eighteen and twenty to

640
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 2: sit here and say I have no regrets, like we've

641
00:35:56,280 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 2: had the most incredible family experiences where you know, we

642
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:04,240
Speaker 2: just chucked our jobs in and when this is more important,

643
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 2: it is life experiences. So when you do a plan,

644
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: don't think about your job, that's just what you do.

645
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 2: Think about how do you want to feel when you're

646
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 2: driving the car, Like how do you want to show up?

647
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 2: And what amazing things do you want to learn? And

648
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 2: what's going to excite you? And where's your bucket list?

649
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 2: And what are the words that excite you? Could they

650
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 2: should be up on your wall, and let's create something

651
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 2: that is so exciting for you because it's all about self,

652
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:37,919
Speaker 2: self awareness, self management, self leadership. It all starts with self.

653
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 2: So I don't go looking at anyone else. Let's create you,

654
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 2: you the person, and most importantly, how do you want

655
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 2: to feel during the day, because that's all that matters.

656
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 1: Do you know one reason that's important for so many reasons,

657
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 1: a bit off piece that a lot of people don't

658
00:36:56,080 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 1: think about is abide. In Japanese psychology, they say the

659
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 1: most important thing in your life is the flashlight of

660
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:06,280
Speaker 1: your attention, right, And if people don't have those plans

661
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 1: and have those excitements and as you say those words

662
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 1: on their walls and the vision boards. That is actually

663
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,359
Speaker 1: putting their attention on those things and how they can

664
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,839
Speaker 1: feel it is then giving them motivation to do it.

665
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,320
Speaker 1: Often what happens is people shine the flashlight of attention

666
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 1: in their own fucking heads, right, and you're just thinking

667
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: about woe is me? And then there's all of this

668
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: talk about mental health issues and psychological safety. And whilst

669
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 1: that is important, I think we run the risk of

670
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 1: when we do that too much and people shine a

671
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 1: light on it, and when you sign a light on it,

672
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 1: your brain commits sales to it. So it's the inputs

673
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: that are going into your brain are really important. Like

674
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 1: talk therapy can be really useful for some people, but

675
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: it can be really shit for other people because they're

676
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 1: just talking about their problems and that often and it

677
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 1: is facilitated by a psychologist going oh, yeah, this person's

678
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 1: not good and awards you and all of that stuff.

679
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:09,359
Speaker 1: But I love this idea that we have to have

680
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: are bringing engaged in the future in positive stuff. And actually,

681
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 1: what we know about older people is when they stop

682
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 1: talking about the future, that is when their health really

683
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,240
Speaker 1: starts to deteriorate and You'll notice there are some older

684
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 1: people and they talk about the past all the time,

685
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: and they talk about their ailments, and they're not talking

686
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 1: about the future. We know that people in their nineties

687
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 1: who have plans for the future live significantly longer. So

688
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: the impact on the brain, which then can influence all

689
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: your physiology, I think, is the great on said in

690
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 1: all of this stuff.

691
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 2: It's huge. Like, we lost my mum last year. So

692
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 2: my dad's eighty four and he was her care and

693
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: I said, right, Dad, what's the plan And he goes,

694
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm like, right, well, you're going to

695
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 2: get the fittest you've ever been. It was a laborer.

696
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 2: So he's at eighty four joined the gym for the

697
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 2: first time in his life, and he's so excited. He's like,

698
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 2: do you know that there's machines in the gym and

699
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,600
Speaker 2: can you get me some protein powder? I need to bulk.

700
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 2: And I'm like, this is so excited about movement, and

701
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 2: I said, you have to walk every day every day.

702
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 2: So he's found in McDonald's. It's about four kilometers away

703
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 2: because seniors get free coffee at McDonald's. So he's got this.

704
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 2: So he walks to McDonald's for his coffee, and then

705
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,720
Speaker 2: he walks home and he meets all these other sceniors

706
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 2: there and then walks home. So it's all about purpose

707
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 2: and you need a map and you need a plan,

708
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 2: and I really invite people to think about if you

709
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 2: haven't put a roadmap in here, you will feel shit,

710
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,279
Speaker 2: and you will watch breaking news and you will think

711
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,760
Speaker 2: the world is doom and gloom and you will hate winter.

712
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 2: Whereas I'm just freaking excited because I got plans.

713
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 1: I love it, I love it. Yes, it's about just

714
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 1: be excited, like there's so much cool shit.

715
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 2: And even in even in midlife, which is called the chrysalis,

716
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,919
Speaker 2: as you know, where we've been a caterpillar the whole time,

717
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 2: and then we have to dissolve a big part of

718
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 2: ourself to turn into the butterfly. The chrysalis is shit

719
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 2: because you've got menopause, manopause. You know, I'm losing a parent.

720
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 2: My kids at eighteen, they've both got their license, they're

721
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: just driving off. You know. It's like this whole shift,

722
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 2: it's called the chrysalis, where we need to dissolve. We

723
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 2: are no longer a manager of people. We are a

724
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 2: consultant to our children. You know, we don't manage them anymore.

725
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 2: We're a consultant. They will ring when we are needed.

726
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,439
Speaker 2: And that's before you become the friend. So when you've

727
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 2: done the roadmap and the plan, you know what stage

728
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 2: you're in. You can prepare for it. You could say, okay,

729
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 2: well this stage is actually I need to focus on

730
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 2: myself and I need to change with the way I'm thinking,

731
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 2: and I need to change away our structure my day

732
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 2: because I am not needed at this minute.

733
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 1: And there's an interesting thing about work as well. I

734
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 1: can't remember his name's just to escape me for a second,

735
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 1: but there's a brilliant among the Arthur Seedbrooks or am

736
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: I confusing with? There's a brilliant book called The Second

737
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: Curve where he talks about the second fears of your

738
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: life post fifties, and but specifically there's a really co

739
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 1: bit on work, and it's like, you need to change

740
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 1: how you view your work because as you get older

741
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:28,240
Speaker 1: and all the young bucks come through, like you're no

742
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: longer right on the bleeding edge of stuff, you don't

743
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 1: have as much energy and stuff like that. But he

744
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 1: says we need to shift our thinking to now it's

745
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:41,280
Speaker 1: about howdy I spread my knowledge, right, how doy I

746
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 1: inspire the younger generation, right, give them, give them my knowledge,

747
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 1: give them a steer all of those things, because we

748
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 1: have to accept that our role is changing. And so

749
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 1: just like you said about the Christmas that just popped

750
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: that up on the top of my head, and I

751
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 1: want to talk now about so in the military, we

752
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 1: were always told no battle plan ever survives first contact

753
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 1: with the enemy, right, And you've written a book called

754
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 1: Plan B, which I love, right, because you can have

755
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 1: all these plans, but the enemy in this case is

756
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:18,240
Speaker 1: just the universe. Right, that shit sandwiches will be lobbed

757
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 1: at you, stuff will happen, there'll be health issues, there'll

758
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:26,880
Speaker 1: be just all of these sidebars. So talk us through

759
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 1: this whole idea of a Plan B and of accepting change,

760
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 1: because actually change is the only constant in the universe,

761
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 1: and so many people it just screws them up.

762
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 2: Well. Interesting, that was a Jerry Maguire moment for me

763
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 2: where I woke up in the middle of COVID in lockdown,

764
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 2: in a like full sweat at three in the morning,

765
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,320
Speaker 2: and I saw a whole book flash into my brain,

766
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 2: and so I got up in the dark, and I

767
00:42:56,080 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 2: just typed furiously the title, the introduction, and the chapter headings,

768
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 2: and I sent it to Penguin and my husband said,

769
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 2: you're a complete idiot, and you didn't think it through,

770
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 2: and you know, you didn't even spell check their spelling

771
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 2: mistakes everywhere, And I said I had to. I just

772
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 2: had to do it. And what it was was, I

773
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,799
Speaker 2: know exactly what's going through people's minds because I've been

774
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 2: coaching for twenty years and I know how people think

775
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 2: about change and how they resist change, and they don't

776
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 2: embrace it, and they don't navigate it, and they don't

777
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 2: their car just stops at the roadworks and they just

778
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 2: are stuck and then they all their plans go to shit,

779
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,959
Speaker 2: Whereas what we need to do is create a nice

780
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,319
Speaker 2: detour to get back on track. So I wrote the

781
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 2: book with four headings, which was, we need to respond

782
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,919
Speaker 2: to the change. You fell off your bike. The first

783
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 2: thing you do is take a breath. Don't try and

784
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: fix it. You have to respond. You have to take

785
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:03,360
Speaker 2: for breath, You have to tap into your emotions. Okay,

786
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 2: how does this make me feel? This is all the

787
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 2: things I went through with chronic fatigue. How does it

788
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 2: make me feel? How can I reframe the story so

789
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 2: it becomes the gift. So you need to spend a

790
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 2: lot of time in the response, whereas people go straight

791
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 2: to I just need to fix it quickly with band aids, tablets, alcohol, whatever.

792
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,760
Speaker 2: We need to sit in the stench of at first

793
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:30,719
Speaker 2: and feel it. We need to feel it. We need

794
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 2: to feel the pain of losing your job or losing

795
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 2: your partner, or you had to work from home. I mean,

796
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,840
Speaker 2: it took people two years to adapt to working from home.

797
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,959
Speaker 2: If you remember in the beginning, everyone was freaking out.

798
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 2: I hate working from home. I can't concentrate. It's awful.

799
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:48,959
Speaker 2: I want to go to the office. Now we can't

800
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 2: get them back right. It takes people a long time.

801
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:56,239
Speaker 2: So the first stage is respond, breathe, think up through,

802
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 2: sit in the stench, and then create a narrative.

803
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,839
Speaker 1: Can I just add to that a brilliant quote from

804
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 1: Stam Beacham, who's been on my podcast, said that, you know,

805
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 1: sometimes we need to walk right to the edge of

806
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 1: ourselves and stir into the abyss. Right now, this isn't

807
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 1: a deliberate walk, but you're right at the edge of

808
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 1: yourself right when there's plans going to rutch it. But

809
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 1: the said you need to stir into the abyss long

810
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 1: enough to find out what it's telling you, and then

811
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: you need to walk back and use that information. It's

812
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: just like you've got to sit in the stench.

813
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:33,359
Speaker 2: And I call it the stench, like you know when

814
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 2: you get the phone call that you know your kid

815
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 2: might be expelled because they've been really naughty. And I

816
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 2: just would sit there in the stench of it going.

817
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 2: I actually feel voment, like I could vomit, like like

818
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 2: when you get things that you hate, or you have

819
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 2: to call the ambulance, like I've had to call Mani

820
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 2: ambulances for my mum. I would I wouldn't even jump

821
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 2: in my card. Sit in the stench first and breathe,

822
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 2: take a breath first, Sit in it. Okay, now be

823
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 2: calm and confident. Aren't moving forward. So the second stage

824
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 2: is you need to allow recovery, which nobody allows that recovery,

825
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:11,839
Speaker 2: which is actually I feel a bit wounded, you know,

826
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 2: I feel mentally wounded or emotionally wounded. So I actually

827
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 2: need to do some loving kindness to myself and just

828
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 2: you know, pat myself and give myself a hug and

829
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 2: do some breathing and some meditation, and to heal with

830
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 2: my diet and really think about the food that I'm eating,

831
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 2: and maybe get my sleep routine right and really heal.

832
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 2: Now we can reset and get on that map again.

833
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,439
Speaker 2: But no one does. The first two stages an big,

834
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 2: big issue. So for twenty years I've been coaching people like, Okay,

835
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 2: you've done your ACL and your sport stop, Just let's

836
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,839
Speaker 2: take a sit in a stench of the ACL and

837
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 2: how shitty that is and how unfair that is, and

838
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 2: because if you don't feel it, it'll come and haunt

839
00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 2: you for the next ten years, you know, and you'll

840
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 2: be competing and all you'll be doing is thinking about

841
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 2: that a c L. We want it, we want to

842
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 2: steal it so we can get rid of it. That's

843
00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 2: what I want you to know.

844
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: I'm laughing because I entered my a CL recently and

845
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,799
Speaker 1: then I went back to sport and now I've got

846
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 1: a secondary injury that's just derailing me. So I'm sitting

847
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:20,280
Speaker 1: in the stage right now.

848
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 2: And maybe maybe you need to heal properly.

849
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: Right, I'm not a good healer, then that's right.

850
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 2: So then you then you then you get to the

851
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 2: third stage, which is reset. Let's go back to your values.

852
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 2: Let's go back to what's most important to you. Let's

853
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 2: reset the map, and let's start getting excited and let's

854
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 2: start moving forward. And then the fourth part, which people

855
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 2: forget is we need to allow ourself to radiate again.

856
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:52,480
Speaker 2: We need to not bring that story into the future.

857
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 2: That's a past that was like roadworks back there. Let's

858
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,840
Speaker 2: talk about that anymore. Let's just keep looking forward and radiate.

859
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 2: So it was respondcover was that radiate and I could

860
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 2: really see the people who for me, chronic fatigue is

861
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 2: just the gift. I live with it today and it's again, you.

862
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 1: Know what I love about that, And you're talking about

863
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 1: the gift is E's and GM's gross Grosses work on

864
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:18,720
Speaker 1: reappris on people who've been through and this is real

865
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: serious trauma as he gets them after a while and

866
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 1: they're comfortable with them to talk talk about it, but

867
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 1: through the lens of what was the silver lining that

868
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 1: came from that BART event? And then every time that

869
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 1: thing pops up, you go, yeah, that was shit, but

870
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 1: here's the silver lining, and you focus on the silver

871
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,240
Speaker 1: lining and what it can do for you. So it's about,

872
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 1: as you said, finding the gift. That's very cool.

873
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:48,320
Speaker 2: And the radiating, the radiating just to finish is about

874
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 2: saying yes again to things, and it's about celebrating the

875
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,719
Speaker 2: small wins along the way. Like we see football is

876
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 2: high fiving ourselves. No one goes to the mirror. No

877
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 2: one high fives themselves and no one, no one starts

878
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 2: this incredible relationship with themselves. And that's what I coach

879
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 2: is You've only got one relationship with your life, and

880
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 2: that's with yourself and really getting into self love, self acceptance,

881
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:19,759
Speaker 2: self celebration, because you are stuck with yourself twenty four

882
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 2: hours a day, seven days a week, every minute of

883
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 2: the day. Other people come and go, but you're stuck here.

884
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 2: So let's make this relationship a really healthy one with

885
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 2: the inner critic, you know, being able to master that

886
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 2: a little bit, with really focusing on having the tools

887
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 2: which people don't have, of visual stimulation around you to

888
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 2: keep you in that. You know, my mirror in the

889
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:45,840
Speaker 2: bathroom is full of words, full of words, and you

890
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:47,920
Speaker 2: can hardly see yourself. And my husband's like, is this

891
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 2: ever going? I'm like, no, that my whole mental health

892
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 2: is right there because I need to keep looking forward

893
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 2: and I to keep training my brain.

894
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, very awesome. And I'm a big fan of stuff

895
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 1: on the mirror and a line last significant thing it

896
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,839
Speaker 1: was written on my mirror is no longer my mirror

897
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 1: because I've got a tattooed on my arm because it

898
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:10,320
Speaker 1: had such an impact. It was mementom moory remember that

899
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 1: that remember death? Basically, how fucking lucky are you to

900
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 1: be alive every single day? Right? Yeah, but it's taking

901
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: that positive slant and and just with with the stoics.

902
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 1: So so they story philosophers were big on and this

903
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 1: idea of of of yes, you you set out your

904
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 1: day and you visualize stuff, and you visualize who you

905
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 1: want to be and what values and all of this.

906
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 1: But they were also fans of actually thinking about all

907
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 1: the ship that could go wrong and what they call

908
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:45,360
Speaker 1: it pre morty something or other I can't remember, but

909
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 1: thinking about the ship that could go wrong, the bad

910
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 1: people that you were going to meet. That's that you

911
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:53,719
Speaker 1: know all of these curveballs, so that you would be

912
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 1: prepared for that, right is there? Do you do you

913
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 1: get into that or do you just have people focusing

914
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: on the plan and then when shit happens, then they

915
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 1: do plan B. Or is there a little bit of

916
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 1: kind of fortune telling about here's what could go wrong,

917
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 1: and here's what I will think about them exactly what

918
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:16,719
Speaker 1: I think? Does that detract from the focus.

919
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 2: I think we're naturally built to think negatively anyway, Right,

920
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:23,439
Speaker 2: so I don't dwell very much. It might be five

921
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 2: percent where well, if that happens, we'll deal with that then.

922
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 2: But really we want to really wire that brain to

923
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:34,719
Speaker 2: move forward, to be excited that life is a playground

924
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:37,360
Speaker 2: that we get to play on the planet today, like

925
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,360
Speaker 2: we get to play today. So I always say to

926
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:44,879
Speaker 2: my clients life is a playground we get to play

927
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:48,480
Speaker 2: again today in the playground. Your job is the fairest wheel,

928
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 2: the ride you get on and off. But it's how

929
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 2: you want to feel when you're running around the playground

930
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 2: collecting incredible, colorful life experiences. And that could be tasting

931
00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 2: your copy. So when you have a plan, have a

932
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:04,040
Speaker 2: map exactly the same as driving, and you've got a

933
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 2: bit of a plan B, you know how to respond.

934
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:11,919
Speaker 2: If something happens, you can sit back and enjoy the drive, right,

935
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,240
Speaker 2: so you're not worried about the next sign you're taking

936
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 2: in the scenery, and I call that mindful mindfulness. It's

937
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:21,439
Speaker 2: about I've got a plan. I've got my to do list,

938
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 2: which I get to do, not my to do list

939
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 2: I get to do Otherwise it's boring. I say, I

940
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 2: get to do this, I get to unstack the dishwasher,

941
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 2: I get to put the washing on. Is that I

942
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:36,240
Speaker 2: can now really go into the moment of I'm talking

943
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,839
Speaker 2: to you. This is an adventure, this is exciting. I've

944
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:42,399
Speaker 2: never had this conversation with you before. I've never had

945
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 2: this coffee before that the brewster made this morning. Like

946
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 2: everything is an adventure, and when you have a mindset

947
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 2: like that, you're really open to opportunity and you really

948
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,200
Speaker 2: can enjoy the day on the planet. And really that's

949
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:58,680
Speaker 2: what it's all about. Yeah, oh, No one cares how

950
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 2: many books we've sold. No one cares how many stages

951
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 2: we've been on. And I used to pick the kids

952
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 2: up from school and go They absolutely don't give a

953
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 2: shit that I was just on TV. They want to

954
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:12,439
Speaker 2: note and they want to cuddle and they know them.

955
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 2: You know, I sat one hundred thousand visual kids in

956
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,920
Speaker 2: Big w at Christmas. Do you think my kids have

957
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 2: even opened a box. So you've got to remember that

958
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:26,280
Speaker 2: the only person you're trying to impress here is yourself,

959
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,280
Speaker 2: and so you may as well just high five yourself

960
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:29,759
Speaker 2: and move on.

961
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 1: I love it, and I love the high fiving yourself

962
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 1: actually because I can't remember who was the author of

963
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:41,360
Speaker 1: the paper at the research study that showed that actually

964
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 1: you need to saver things, saver your wins for about

965
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:48,439
Speaker 1: twelve seconds in order for them to get picked into

966
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 1: your brain and then spur further motivation. So I love

967
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 1: that idea of high fiving yourself. That is very cool.

968
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,279
Speaker 1: Now we are kind of getting right to the end

969
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 1: because and I don't want to end this because it's

970
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 1: so cool. But you've all I've written a book on

971
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:06,479
Speaker 1: secrets to a happy life. Just give us your top

972
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:08,320
Speaker 1: two or three. I think a lot of them have

973
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:11,919
Speaker 1: already come out. But what's a couple that we haven't

974
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:12,799
Speaker 1: talked about so far.

975
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,879
Speaker 2: I think that you need to know your own set

976
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:20,080
Speaker 2: of values to be happy, I really do. I think

977
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:23,239
Speaker 2: you need to have a very strong foundation of what's

978
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,840
Speaker 2: most important to you so you can put your focus

979
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 2: there and that becomes your purpose for life, is to

980
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 2: serve your own set of value. So mine is health,

981
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:33,800
Speaker 2: which is the four buckets. Every day you've got to

982
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 2: put deposits in family, how do I want to show

983
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 2: up as an inspiring human and be the role model?

984
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:43,240
Speaker 2: And third for me as achievement. I'm an achievement junkie,

985
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 2: but a healthy version of that. So an achievement is

986
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,280
Speaker 2: washing my hands and doing three breaths and high fiving

987
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 2: myself every time I'm in the bathroom. So that's six

988
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:55,879
Speaker 2: times a day, plenty of join right, happy life. So

989
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 2: the other thing is I think it's about really shining

990
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:02,360
Speaker 2: a light on your habits. Because happiness, as we know,

991
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 2: is fifty percent genetic, where you're a glass half full

992
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 2: or a glass half empty. Ten percent is your online

993
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 2: shopping and your job and your car. Forty percent of

994
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:13,840
Speaker 2: your happiness is about your rhythm, ritual and routine. So

995
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,319
Speaker 2: your habits need to make you happy. Whether it's how

996
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 2: you make you a cup of tea or your gratitude journal,

997
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 2: or for me, walking in the morning for an hour

998
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:25,040
Speaker 2: in the freezing cold dark and getting a coffee is

999
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:29,040
Speaker 2: usually the highlight of my day. It's so beautiful. So

1000
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:32,239
Speaker 2: it's the small things, and when we shine a light

1001
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:35,880
Speaker 2: on the small things. Our happiness comes up because everything

1002
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 2: else is fleeting, and happiness is fleeting, as we know,

1003
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:43,280
Speaker 2: it doesn't last. And then I think, really, it's about

1004
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 2: having visual stimulation that makes you happy. So I've got

1005
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 2: butterflies here because I'm in the chrysalis. I'm in midlife,

1006
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,240
Speaker 2: so I'm thinking the butterfly. I'm turning into a butterfly.

1007
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 2: I'm getting rid of the caterpillar. We don't have visual

1008
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,840
Speaker 2: stimulate stimuli like I've got this lilady with the balloons.

1009
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:06,760
Speaker 2: I'm in the playground collecting colorful experiences. When people put

1010
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 2: things up vision or great screen savers or whatever it

1011
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 2: might be, I think naturally, our mood lifts and we

1012
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 2: need color, and we need to find excitement and stimulation

1013
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:26,760
Speaker 2: because everything else that's external is negative, the news that's rolling,

1014
00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 2: the comparison itis. So to really be happy and stay

1015
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 2: on track, we need to learn to breathe and to

1016
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:37,920
Speaker 2: be home in this body of self that we have

1017
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 2: strategically set up like a tomato plant. We've got all

1018
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:45,120
Speaker 2: the steaks in place so we don't fall over. So

1019
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:49,040
Speaker 2: we need to strategically think about what do I need

1020
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 2: to do for myself that brings me joy and holds

1021
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:56,360
Speaker 2: me up and catches me when up for awesome.

1022
00:56:56,840 --> 00:57:00,080
Speaker 1: Love it and I love comparisonitis. That's so cool. I

1023
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:01,400
Speaker 1: love the way it's a disease.

1024
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 2: It's just a disease.

1025
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,800
Speaker 1: Oh it is. It's the big disease of this century.

1026
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:09,719
Speaker 1: I can tell you, Shandon, this has been friggin awesome.

1027
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 1: So now where can people go if they want to

1028
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:16,439
Speaker 1: buy one of your awesome books? B want to book

1029
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 1: you as a corporate speaker, or C want to book

1030
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 1: you as a life coach? And I can imagine that

1031
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people here listening getting quite excited.

1032
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 1: If you're not getting excited about this, you've been frigging

1033
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 1: the bottomized as mine, right, So I would expect that

1034
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,240
Speaker 1: there are a number of people who would love to

1035
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:36,520
Speaker 1: reach out and get coature back. So where do we

1036
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:37,280
Speaker 1: go for all of that?

1037
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, just one place. Just hit Shanna Kennedy dot com.

1038
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:45,479
Speaker 2: S h A W nah Shanne Kennedy dot com. There's

1039
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:48,439
Speaker 2: free stuff on there too, free vision board kids, there's

1040
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 2: free screen savers on there to train the brain. And yeah,

1041
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:56,360
Speaker 2: reach out. I'm here, I'm in my midlife. I've got

1042
00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:58,920
Speaker 2: a lot of wisdom to share as you said, and

1043
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 2: I want to add I want to get out there

1044
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:01,960
Speaker 2: and share it more.

1045
00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 1: Awesome, Channa, This has been friggin awesome, inspiring and a

1046
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,880
Speaker 1: direction for people, which is very very cool. Thanks for

1047
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 1: having me, Thank you, and thank you for sharing your

1048
00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:15,320
Speaker 1: gift as well.

1049
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 2: My pleasure