WEBVTT - Bridget Hustwaite Demanded an Exit Meeting From Triple J 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.880 I record this podcast on Gaetgol Country. I'd like to 0:00:02.880 --> 0:00:04.800 pay my respect to the traditional. 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:07.560 Custodians, and I'm recording on Urando Country, part of the 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:08.320 Cooler Nation. 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:09.280 Let's go. 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:12.760 I know you're going to dig this. 0:00:14.080 --> 0:00:19.279 It's like I've been given like an extra sprinkle of something. 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:21.640 You've got layers, Yeah, I got layers. 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:25.480 I was just thinking, I'm like, we're just such beautiful storytellers. 0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:29.600 You're making a lot of sense to that girl. Now 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:30.480 I'm done. 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:32.320 Let's be in too honest to go. 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:38.159 So, guys, I recently turned thirty and honestly think, what 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:40.720 the fuck am I doing with my life? Honestly, I 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:43.080 don't even know how I got here, Maddie. I really don't, 0:00:43.080 --> 0:00:46.080 because I didn't think that I would get here. And 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:49.199 I'm just figuring it out. And the best person to 0:00:49.240 --> 0:00:51.520 have on the podcast who has written a book about 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:54.880 it is figuring out thirty Bridget Huseway and welcome to 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:58.440 the pod. Yes, welcome, since first, how are you? 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.200 I'm so excited to like chat to you guys in 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:03.840 this format, Like obviously no you broke Maddie. 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:05.160 It's our first time meeting. 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:07.319 But yeah, I think this is such an exciting conversation, 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:09.280 and especially because you're about to turn thirty and Brooke 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:12.200 justin thirty, so yeah, get tricks. Like. 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:15.440 The thing about me, though, is I'm excited to turn thirty, 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:18.399 Like I am really thrilled to get older. Yeah, because 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:20.360 I feel like I'm just starting to figure out who 0:01:20.360 --> 0:01:23.640 I am and what I love and my core values. 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:26.120 I'm really getting to that point in my life. So 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:29.120 I feel like getting older for me is exciting. Is 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:31.800 that that's not a common thing you would hear, right. 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:32.679 I don't think it's common. 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:37.119 I mean when you look like Maddie like he's. 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:40.760 You've got ten years on me, I swear. 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:43.759 Come on, you both look like baite, Well we are 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:44.720 we are? 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:48.280 Yeah, and the grand scheme of things, thirty is young. 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:52.440 Like Rachel makes this perfect comment and like analogy, I 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:54.480 guess when you know, like not to take it to 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:56.480 a morbid term, but like when someone dies and you 0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:58.800 see their age and they're like thirty, thirty five, forty, 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:01.280 You're like, holy shit, they were young. Yeah, and we think, 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:03.880 oh that's old, Like no, we're just getting started. 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:05.440 Yeah, yeah, total agree. 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:08.639 No, it's I love the mindset that you were excited 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:12.880 to approach this new decade. I wasn't like that approaching thirty. 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:16.880 But it is weird, I guess when some people, especially women, 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:20.680 approaching this decade because of these more traditional kind of 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:23.920 external pressures that we do face. And you think of 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:27.320 the generations before us, and those milestones were suddenly down 0:02:27.440 --> 0:02:29.960 having a kid, buying a house. It's just not really 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:34.920 applicable to our generation now. But it is an exciting chapter. 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:37.800 And when you said about you know your values, and 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:40.560 this is a time where you can really yes, set 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:44.040 those kind of expectations for yourself and what you actually 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:47.200 really want versus what you think you should want because 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.000 of what people actually expect of you. So you are 0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:51.520 coming in guns blaze. 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:52.280 I'm excited. 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:54.960 I truly am, like I feel like I'm just getting started, 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:57.760 you know, in all aspects. But I want to ask you, obviously, 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:01.120 you know, you hit thirty, some people have this like 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.680 pressure on themselves or they feel this pressure from society 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:06.200 that we should have it all figured out, you know. 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:08.440 But it must have taken a lot of reflection for 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:09.960 you to put this book out, you know, a lot 0:03:09.960 --> 0:03:13.760 of I suppose more self discovery at the age of thirty. 0:03:14.000 --> 0:03:16.680 What was the process like of like digging through the 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:19.160 first thirty years and then being able to like be like, okay, 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:20.040 well this is what I know. 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:23.080 Well, well, the timeline was interesting, I guess. 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:26.320 So six weeks before I turned thirty, also six days 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:28.440 before my first book came out, my partner of five 0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:31.200 years broke up with me random Wednesday night. We were 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:34.000 three weeks into a brand new rental lease, so we 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:37.600 just moved to a new house and it happened, and 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:40.680 it just I guess the timing of it, especially so 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:43.360 close to turning thirty and thinking that I was entering 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:48.040 this new decade feeling I guess somewhat settled. Was not 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:51.240 the case, and then you know, big breakup, but then 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:53.840 it kind of turned into and like sometimes it sounds cringe, 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:55.800 but I do think with the big breakup comes a 0:03:55.840 --> 0:03:59.480 big breakthrough, and you use that kind of opportunity, especially 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:01.240 heading into thirty, being like, all right, well, what the 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:03.680 hell do I actually like want for myself for the 0:04:03.720 --> 0:04:05.760 next ten years, How do I actually want to start. 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:07.000 This new decade of life? 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:10.360 And yeah, I was already feeling a little bit of 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:13.400 unease right before this even happened, Like I remember putting 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:16.800 in my phone notes up about like, you know, on paper, 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:20.560 everything's fine approaching thirty, but there's still this sense of unease, 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:23.240 not sure why want to talk about it though? And 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:25.039 I even at that point, I was like, should I 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:28.400 start a podcast one day about this transition turning thirty? 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:30.840 And I was still you know, full time music presenter 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.160 on Triple J at that point and doing that. 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:36.000 But just on the side, I was like, I'm really. 0:04:35.839 --> 0:04:38.719 Keen to have those kind of conversations, you know, about 0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:41.880 life and what adulthood is like to navigate. 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:45.320 So yeah, I kind of used that moment. 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:48.680 I was obviously grieving and you know, trying to start 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:51.680 a new life for myself, but I am experiencing like 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:53.640 all the feels in real time. But I was also 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:56.599 very observant of what I was feeling and what was 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:59.080 happening in a broader sense about like, what is it 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:02.279 about thirty? I was thinking back to, you know, growing up, 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:05.159 we look at Bridget Jones, we look at Rachel in Friends, 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:09.360 we look at Suddenly thirty, Adall's album thirty, Like all 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:12.520 of these things have actually been commentary on this age. 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:15.800 So there's clearly a fascination and a conversation to be 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:19.880 had and then I kind of just started plotting a podcast, 0:05:20.040 --> 0:05:22.240 which was kind of something that I treated as a 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:25.279 pilot to see if I enjoyed that kind of outlet, 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:28.840 and then it led to a book deal. So it's 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:30.720 kind of been like three years in the making of 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.960 like and still experiencing a lot of stuff in real time, 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:35.880 you know. Throughout the process of writing the book, I 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:39.960 got an ADHD diagnosis, So it's been a massive three years. 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:42.480 But the timeline's been really interesting to be able to 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:46.440 experience it, reflect and figure out some things and like 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:48.719 why I'm the way I am, and then I guess 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:51.080 put it on paper and kind of report back to 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:54.760 everyone on it. So yeah, it's been quite intensive. But 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:57.880 now the book is out and to already kind of 0:05:57.920 --> 0:05:59.800 receive the feedback that it's been a good you know, 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:02.560 frame of reference with people, or that it's been comforting, 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:05.440 and there's still so much ahead, like I still have 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:07.760 so much to kind of experience and figure out. But 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:11.760 I guess that's how it's all been shaped for me. 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:13.520 It seems like it was a bit of a process 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:14.560 though yes. 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:16.240 I had a big goal take time. 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:18.880 I mean, when you're putting yourself out there and like 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:21.200 writing you know, these personal experiences. 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:22.080 It's not easy. 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:24.960 Like you know, I relate to the whole point of 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:27.760 like the things in your notes, because like even if 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:29.960 you just write it in your notes and you come 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:32.599 back to it later, it really transports you back to 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:34.960 that time and you can look at where you what 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:35.720 time you wrote. 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:37.039 It's crazy. 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:39.400 Yeah, And that's why I mean I write everything in 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:42.440 my notes, even like memories of that come up. And 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:45.599 I really loved your book Bridge because I felt like, 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:50.000 as a reader, you want to feel like you're being transported, 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:52.160 and I felt like I was getting an insight into 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:55.839 your life of those three years or even longer know 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.920 in your career, and I just felt like you as 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:03.520 a writer, you just articulate so many i'd say from 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:07.719 a female's perspective, like so many relatable experiences that we 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:11.080 and questions are we all ask, but we sometimes don't 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:14.480 know how to like you know, either us. 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:17.680 Or figure out what we're wanting. Just why do we 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:18.760 feel like that? Yeah? 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:21.760 And I think creating that dialogue is like so helpful 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:25.800 to make someone's situation or experience normal in a sense 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:28.480 like what is normal, but like normalize it in a 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:32.120 way that it's like Oh okay, they're having those conversations too. 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:35.200 What's the general feedback that you've got from people like 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:35.680 can I. 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:40.720 Ask definitely that people feel seen and validated? Yes, because yeah, 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:43.520 and I mean people beyond thirty as well. I had 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:45.720 someone who's twenty five message to me. I've had someone 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:48.200 you know, people in their forties, and that's you know, 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:50.360 you look at the title and you see Figuring out thirty. 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:52.720 And also, I don't want it to come across that 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:53.920 it's a self help book. 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:56.120 This is not. Yeah, no, I don't. 0:07:55.920 --> 0:07:57.960 Have answers for you. I'm probably going to leave you 0:07:58.000 --> 0:07:58.880 with more questions. 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:02.640 But I just have thoughts and ponderings that I want 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:05.760 to share and that you might share them, and by 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:07.400 doing so that makes you feel a little bit more 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:10.200 seen and validated. And the only reason I do it 0:08:10.240 --> 0:08:13.560 is because of not having those frames of references when 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:15.560 I was navigating it. So for endo, I didn't have 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:17.160 a book that I could turn to when I was 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:20.240 spending twelve years to get a diagnosis when I was 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:23.960 turning thirty. I mean, obviously her do Olderton love, oh yeah, 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:28.320 but a specific book on turning thirty didn't quite exist 0:08:28.360 --> 0:08:28.560 for me. 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.200 Yeah, what is it that you learned most about yourself 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:34.000 during that process? Like, obviously there would have been a 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:36.800 lot of digging, self reflection and discovery, but what is 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.079 maybe the one thing that you took away from the 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:41.720 experience that you went, wow, like that taught me so much. 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:44.600 From rinning the book? Yeah, oh golly, I think it 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:46.000 is so much in there. 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:50.360 Well, I think, yeah, Like ultimately it was having just 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:53.880 awareness for understanding why I am the way I am 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:56.559 and how I've been able to process particular things based 0:08:56.600 --> 0:09:01.040 on how I was raised and various real relationships throughout 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:04.680 my life which have all been lessons of course. But 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:06.880 then I guess, you know, taking that and being like 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:08.640 what do I want to do with it? And what 0:09:08.679 --> 0:09:11.679 do I I guess having that willingness to make change. 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:14.479 No one likes change, and especially changing yourself. 0:09:15.080 --> 0:09:15.920 It's uncomfortable. 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:19.560 It's so uncomfortable, and yeah, especially at this time of 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:22.800 life when you're expected to have so much figured out 0:09:23.200 --> 0:09:25.680 and you feel like you're kind of being you know, 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:27.440 reported or marked on how. 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:28.319 Well you're adulting. 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:32.840 Right, Yeah, No one likes criticism, rejection and change. But 0:09:33.240 --> 0:09:35.360 I think just being able to kind of take that 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:39.640 on and then kind of having that front of mind, 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:42.360 like what am I going to do with this moving forward? 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:43.920 So yeah, it's like one thing to be aware, but 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:48.440 then to actually actions change has been you know, and 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:51.160 that's still a process for me, Like there's clearly still 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:52.720 things that I have to work on. And I've brought 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:56.160 a lot of anxious tendencies into my current relationship with 0:09:56.480 --> 0:10:00.000 my partner Oscar, who's definitely a more secure person. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:04.000 And does he make you more secure in a sense, 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:07.760 like because I've like read about attachment issues, right, and 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:09.880 they're like, you know that if you are with a 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:12.880 secure person, it kind of can sort of drives like 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:15.320 this role modeling in a sense. 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:17.320 Yeah, yes, and no. 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:20.280 Like it's also he's five years younger than me, so 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:25.440 there's definitely differences in how we will communicate or you know, 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:29.760 express our emotions, I suppose. And yeah for me coming 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:36.320 from such like such an anxious place, Yeah, yeah, it's so. 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:39.320 Fund someone be so secure. 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:43.400 Yeah, what's that like? 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:43.960 Nice? 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:46.319 Yeah, you're like the grass is really green over there. 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:51.480 Yeah, that's been like sometimes that's hard to digest that 0:10:51.520 --> 0:10:55.000 You're like, how are you so secure about this? And 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:58.280 I am My brain is exploding and I think That's 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:01.440 also been another thing with my ADHD, like how much 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:05.160 that has actually come into relationships and getting that diagnosis 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:10.320 thirty two, thirty three, you know, that's made a world 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:14.120 of difference to kind of understand Yeah, how I am 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:17.880 as a thirty three year old female. So yeah, there's 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:21.320 still like a lot that I am learning and figuring out. 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:23.760 But I think as well, Like one of the biggest 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:26.840 realizations too, was among all this was just the reminder 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:28.199 to be like, God, you got to go a bit 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:29.040 easy on yourself. 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:30.120 Oh, we're all. 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:34.160 Like because in ten years you're gonna be like fucking 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:35.520 figure out forty right. 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:37.800 It doesn't And that's the thing. 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:41.080 It doesn't matter like at what age. Like for me, yes, 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:43.280 this was the transition into my thirties, that was a 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:46.480 very particular time. This can happen to anyone in their 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:50.800 late thirties, forties, or already happening to them in their twenties, 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:54.000 Like we're all navigating something and asking questions about ourselves 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:58.080 or having existential crisis of thoughts at any time. 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:01.600 It doesn't end. You're always going to be figuring things out. 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:03.880 Do you think that it's different for men and women 0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:06.720 and that age of thirty and what we experience once 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:09.280 we sort of get around to this idea that okay, 0:12:09.320 --> 0:12:14.200 we're thirty. You know, obviously there's the societal pressures, you know, 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:16.280 the women and. 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.280 You know, having children. 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:21.439 But did you learn anything about the difference between men 0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:24.199 and women in that moment in their lives during this process? 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:28.000 I would say that men definitely don't have the same pressure, 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:30.880 pressure and stresses. And you know, even when you look 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.480 at a single man in their thirties compared to a 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:34.120 single woman. 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:36.040 We look at a man and be like, how can 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:36.840 you be single? 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:39.240 You look at a woman who's single in her thirties, 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:42.559 it's something wrong with her, right, You know, there is 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:46.920 definitely a difference the biological clock. We have to factor 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:50.119 that in. We have to factor that in with our careers, 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:53.760 especially working in media. For me, like, I think about 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:56.520 it all the time in a freelance capacity to what 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:59.040 was what would happen if I had a child now? 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:00.640 And being someone who. 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:03.120 Works you know, on television and across you know, these 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:06.320 kind of platforms, how you've seen as a woman who's 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:09.920 just had kids, your brand, you know, I think there's 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:13.360 a lot of disadvantages. I think beauty standards as well. 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:15.640 Like I have a chapter called Body Better, and it 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:19.480 was essentially a timeline of from the age of what 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:21.280 was I five or six when I got my ears 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:23.480 pinned back because I didn't like how my ears locked 0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:26.400 and going from six up to age thirty two and 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:30.480 all of the external appearance things that I personally have 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.720 grappled with, and then bringing that out to a broader sense. 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.040 I think the pressure on women and youth and how 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:40.360 women age in society, we have it. I think we 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:43.000 have it a lot harder. What do you think, Maddie. 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:49.240 Great question, you totally I think the like, just being 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:51.160 from my own point of view, I had a single mom. 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:54.160 I've got with a single mom with three boys, and 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:58.120 was taken away from my mum quite early in my life, 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:01.520 so it ended up in foster care, and I didn't 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:07.560 really have a female figure, a healthy female role model. 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.440 In my life for a very long time. I moved 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:11.000 to my dad's and then I ended up growing up 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:11.400 with my dad. 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:14.760 So one thing that I've realized is that when I 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:17.880 was little, I didn't see a lot of women at 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:19.920 that age, or I didn't my sister wasn't around, I 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:21.640 didn't have a lot of women in my life who 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:25.960 I was able to see and connect with around that age. 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:28.160 So I think that there's a lot of experiences that, 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.320 even for me as a man, that are ingrained in me. 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:31.760 That I talk about this. 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:33.640 All the time, trying to really get rid of the 0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:36.640 layers of misogyny that I have myself, even though I 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:38.680 don't see myself as a misogynist, but there are so 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.080 many experiences that I've been through in my life that 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:44.800 I feel like just ingrained certain mindsets make you see 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:47.040 certain things a certain way. And so it's like, as 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:48.920 a man, I think that maybe we all have a 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.440 role to playing being able to shed those views on 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.400 how we interact, how we respect, and how we see women. 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:55.800 You know, obviously I. 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:59.960 See that there's huge societal disadvantage to women and how 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.320 they're treated, especially in the workforce, and I think that 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:09.119 maybe as men we need to really be more observant 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:11.480 of how we interact with women. 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:13.720 Yeah, you know, well, here's the thing. 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:17.160 Everyone is a victim underpatriarchy, men and women. 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:18.320 Yes, it is. 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:24.040 You know, women obviously have it worse, and gender diverse 0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:27.760 people as well, but you're also under that structure, and 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:31.040 we all have those moments of internalized misogyny. You know, 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:34.240 I've certainly had it, but yeah, again, I guess it 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:36.680 comes down to that awareness of being able to recognize 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.560 it and the willingness to unlearn it. But this is 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:42.400 you know, like we're talking about, this has been ingrained 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:47.520 like history, right, so, but as long as you know, 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:50.840 that's why those these conversations are so important to kind 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:55.560 of create that dialogue and coming from the context of 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.680 women aging and getting older, Yeah, I mean a lot 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:01.640 is to be said to be improved with it, and 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:03.720 especially when you talk about the workforce as well, Like 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:05.960 we're in this position right, like where we can be 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:08.720 in the workforce and I love having a very career 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:12.320 driven life, but at what cost, especially when we're the 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:14.600 ones who have to be the vessel for a child. Ye, 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:18.120 we're in the workforce, but nothing's actually changed in the 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:21.520 domestic sphere for us to We're expected to do the 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:24.240 work at work, but then to do the work at 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:26.400 home as well, you know, And that's why like so 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:29.120 many women are like opting out of having kids because 0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:31.440 it's like, well, I'm like, literally what's in it for me? 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:33.040 And that's not to say that. 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:35.160 Like a beautiful child wouldn't be great. I would be 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:35.920 and that. 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:38.400 Love, you know, would be unlike anything else. But we 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:42.800 are being a bit more contemplative on making that decision, 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:44.600 which is you know, I think we're. 0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:46.080 So entitled to that as well. 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:49.560 Yeah, like women should be entitled to put their careers, 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:52.680 you know first, I think above those sort of big decisions, 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:53.640 Like I think. 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:56.760 Like that that's a pressure that I just wouldn't want, 0:16:57.360 --> 0:16:58.880 you know, like the future to have. 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:04.520 Maybe you want to talk about the radio industry, bridge 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:08.880 about your career in Triple J, Like, did you ever 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:12.000 experience those barriers or those hurdles that you had to 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:14.120 sort of jump through as a like as a woman, 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:15.840 particularly like obviously. 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:18.200 Yeah, I remember having a manager at Triple J who 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:20.879 said to me. I remember expressing to her once being like, I, 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:23.159 you know, yeah, I've just turned thirty. I left there 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:25.320 when I was thirty one, thirty two, and I remember 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:27.280 saying to her at one point being like, I don't 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:29.000 want to feel like I'm. 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:30.200 Too old to be here. 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:32.760 Because it is a youth broadcast of the age, the 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:36.200 key demographic is eighteen to twenty four, which you know, 0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:37.480 I think is really narrow. 0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:41.320 But I didn't know that actually, YEAHM eighteen to twenty four. 0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:43.800 Yeah, it's not I mean, it's clearly not an accurate 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:47.679 reflection of the listenership. Yeah, and it is very narrow. 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:50.199 But I remember, you know, saying to my manager being like, 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:53.000 I just don't want to feel that people. I'm scared 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:54.399 that people will think that I'm too old to be 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:56.919 on Triple J now. And I remember her saying to me, 0:17:57.119 --> 0:17:59.520 you know, we don't care about that, and we're not 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:02.680 going to say to you, you know, because you're technically 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:05.520 out of the demographic that you are too old to 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:07.879 be on air. That's not important to me. What is 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:10.720 important to me is how you connect with listeners. That 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:14.480 was a really positive, yeah, interaction that I won't forget 0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:18.959 having with that particular manager. But I get angry still 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:21.280 when I do think about those moments where I am 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:25.880 actually thinking and yeah, thirty is young, but so annoying 0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:30.560 to me that I was having these hesitations and insecurities. 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:33.040 But then I was looking on and you know, it's 0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:35.440 not to take like a personal dig, but like observing 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:39.000 other presenters who may have been on air, older guys 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:41.320 who have been there a long time, and I'm like 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:45.399 they seem pretty comfortable. Are they having these thoughts that 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:47.199 they might be a bit too old or is it 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:49.800 just because I'm a female that I have, you know, 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:53.600 this fear I guess of aging because of the language 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:57.720 that we use surrounding aging women and in a media landscape, 0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:01.320