1
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:13,840
Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, it's Calie Taylor here for this week's Mojo Monday. Today,

2
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,120
Speaker 1: we are going to talk about a concept that is

3
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,920
Speaker 1: at the heart of three approaches to life, three approaches

4
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:25,040
Speaker 1: to being human that have really shaped my life and

5
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:30,320
Speaker 1: my work, and that is marina therapy, stoicism and acceptance

6
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:34,159
Speaker 1: and commitment therapy. And the concept that I want to

7
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:38,960
Speaker 1: talk to you about today is around acceptance. So acceptance

8
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:45,159
Speaker 1: of our uncomfortable and often highly inconvenient emotions and thoughts

9
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:49,720
Speaker 1: really goes against our natural instinct, and that's why it's

10
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,199
Speaker 1: a skill that is very easy to talk about, but

11
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:58,120
Speaker 1: a lot harder to apply, especially when life is tough.

12
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,160
Speaker 1: But I will talk about acceptance through the lens of

13
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,560
Speaker 1: these three approaches, and I'll give you some extra resources

14
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:10,039
Speaker 1: to check out if you're interested in learning more. So,

15
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:14,959
Speaker 1: each of these approaches views acceptance as an essential to

16
00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:19,679
Speaker 1: living a rich, purposeful and meaningful life, but they each

17
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:25,080
Speaker 1: bring something unique to the table. So stoicism teaches us

18
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:29,240
Speaker 1: to live with excellence, so what the stoics call arta,

19
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:33,400
Speaker 1: and to focus on what is within our control while

20
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,800
Speaker 1: accepting that there are a whole lot of things that

21
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:40,399
Speaker 1: are not within our control. And then Marita therapy, a

22
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:45,720
Speaker 1: Japanese psychological approach, encourages us to align with nature by

23
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:51,640
Speaker 1: fully experiencing our motions without resisting or suppressing them. And

24
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:55,360
Speaker 1: then ACT, which stands for acceptance and commitment therapy. So

25
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,880
Speaker 1: there's the acceptance in the title, which is a modern

26
00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:05,000
Speaker 1: psychological therapy emphasizing the skill of psychological flexibility. Part of

27
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:09,000
Speaker 1: that is about making room for thoughts and emotions, observing

28
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,880
Speaker 1: them with curiosity, and focusing on committed action aligned with

29
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,600
Speaker 1: our values. So that's kind of just a really brief

30
00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:20,160
Speaker 1: summary of these three approaches. What I love about them

31
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:25,360
Speaker 1: is how beautifully they intertwine. They often not just ways

32
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:29,760
Speaker 1: for us to understand acceptance, but gives us. All three

33
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,840
Speaker 1: of them give us us practical strategies to actually live them.

34
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:38,040
Speaker 1: So I want to explore the three of these approaches

35
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:43,200
Speaker 1: and how they can help us with this art of acceptance.

36
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:48,040
Speaker 1: So let's start with stoicism. So stoicism is really grounded

37
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,600
Speaker 1: in realism. In fact, all three of these approaches are,

38
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,760
Speaker 1: and it makes sense straight away for us. So it's

39
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:59,520
Speaker 1: a philosophy that has influenced many modern therapies, particularly cognitive

40
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:03,480
Speaker 1: behavior therapy, and one of the most important teachings in

41
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:08,440
Speaker 1: stoicism comes from Epictetis, and Epictetis said, our lives are

42
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:13,399
Speaker 1: in two zones. Zone one all the things we can control,

43
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,760
Speaker 1: and zone two are all the things we can't control.

44
00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,680
Speaker 1: And if we take this model and actually write down

45
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,040
Speaker 1: all the things in our lives that we can't control,

46
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,480
Speaker 1: most are external to us, so things like the weather,

47
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:31,120
Speaker 1: other people's thoughts and behaviors, wars, politics, death, and you know,

48
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,560
Speaker 1: the list is huge what is in zone two. But

49
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:38,200
Speaker 1: what's interesting is when I get people to write these down,

50
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:44,440
Speaker 1: it's very rare that anyone includes their automatic thoughts and emotions.

51
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:49,480
Speaker 1: Yet these are definitely things that are outside of our control.

52
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,320
Speaker 1: We've been so conditioned and that message is still out

53
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:57,360
Speaker 1: there that we believe we should be able to control them.

54
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,760
Speaker 1: But if that were true, people wouldn't be strngruggling as much

55
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:04,920
Speaker 1: as they do now. And yes, there's neuroplasticity where we

56
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,240
Speaker 1: can influence our brain wiring over time to improve our

57
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:13,040
Speaker 1: thinking patterns, but this isn't control. It's an influence and

58
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:17,440
Speaker 1: it takes a lot of time, and from an evolutionary perspective,

59
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,839
Speaker 1: and this is really important to know and part of

60
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,640
Speaker 1: the acceptance part is our brains are doing their job

61
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:29,200
Speaker 1: protecting us based on our past experiences, especially our experiences

62
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:34,920
Speaker 1: from childhood. These negative thought patterns and anxiety are simply

63
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,320
Speaker 1: our brains way of trying to keep us safe. But

64
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,600
Speaker 1: here's where we can make things worse because we treat

65
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:47,360
Speaker 1: these automatic experiences as something we need to control or fix.

66
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,120
Speaker 1: And the more attention we give them, the more attention

67
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:55,360
Speaker 1: we try and we try to suppress or eliminate them,

68
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,680
Speaker 1: the more intense they become. And this is because the

69
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:04,440
Speaker 1: brain assigns more resources, more neuro cells to what we

70
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,240
Speaker 1: focus on. And there's a saying where our attention goes

71
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,240
Speaker 1: our energy flows, and we've all been there. We all

72
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:15,240
Speaker 1: when we feel anxious, it's really uncomfortable. We don't want

73
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,039
Speaker 1: to feel anxious. It's getting in the way of the

74
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,920
Speaker 1: things that we want to do, So we put all

75
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,919
Speaker 1: our attention on trying to get rid of that anxiety,

76
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,800
Speaker 1: and often it actually makes the anxiety worse. So if

77
00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:30,360
Speaker 1: we can consciously accept that our automatic thoughts and emotions

78
00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:35,720
Speaker 1: belong in zone two, those things that we cannot control,

79
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,560
Speaker 1: then we can slowly drop the struggle of trying to

80
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:44,120
Speaker 1: control them. Instead, we then turn our attention put our

81
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:48,320
Speaker 1: energy into zone one and that is how we then

82
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:54,080
Speaker 1: respond to those emotions and thoughts. And it sounds really simple,

83
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:58,360
Speaker 1: and as I say, it's a simple model, but we

84
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,520
Speaker 1: know that simple doesn't mean ea and it's a skill

85
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:05,360
Speaker 1: to practice. So I share an example from my own life.

86
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:09,279
Speaker 1: So I grew up in part of the environment that

87
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:13,679
Speaker 1: I grew up had a lot of conflict with relationships,

88
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:18,080
Speaker 1: and so when I'm faced with conflict now, my stress

89
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:22,680
Speaker 1: response is just immediate, it's automatic. And what comes up

90
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:26,560
Speaker 1: for me is anxiety. And I can't control that because

91
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,160
Speaker 1: my brain starts to alert me based on my experience

92
00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,520
Speaker 1: as a child, it's doing its job. It's trying to

93
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:37,159
Speaker 1: protect me, and I have to fully accept that. But

94
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,320
Speaker 1: here's the catch on this is acceptance. This acceptance is

95
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:46,760
Speaker 1: not a passive acceptance. It's about accepting my reality right here,

96
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:50,080
Speaker 1: right now. And if my hand is shaking or I

97
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,640
Speaker 1: have worried thoughts swelling through my head, I don't like it,

98
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,719
Speaker 1: and it's really uncomfortable, but I have to make room

99
00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,279
Speaker 1: for it, and that way I don't go into to

100
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:05,480
Speaker 1: avoidance mode and fall apart. What I can do is

101
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,840
Speaker 1: once I've made room for that and accepted that, accepted this,

102
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,280
Speaker 1: so then turn my attention to what is in my

103
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:16,600
Speaker 1: zone one and that is how I respond. So, for example,

104
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,920
Speaker 1: I might get into solution modes, so tapping into what

105
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,520
Speaker 1: strengths I need here? What are my character strengths? Which

106
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:29,160
Speaker 1: the Stoics have taught us is to focus on that

107
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:34,000
Speaker 1: arratae to focus on those strengths that we have inside

108
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,040
Speaker 1: of us. And so I will look at what do

109
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 1: I need in this moment? Is it courage? Is it calm?

110
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,800
Speaker 1: And then I might take a walk in nature to

111
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,680
Speaker 1: calm my nervous system and look. Some may say that

112
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,520
Speaker 1: that is a form of trying to control, but sometimes

113
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,880
Speaker 1: you do have to work on your physiology so you

114
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,400
Speaker 1: can get on with what it is that you need

115
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,760
Speaker 1: to do. And another thing that I do is I

116
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:03,160
Speaker 1: have this beautiful necklace that has a symbol of courage

117
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 1: on it. It's got like this little lion engraved in it,

118
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,640
Speaker 1: and so that is kind of my anchor that I have.

119
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,760
Speaker 1: So I can just touch that necklace to necklace to

120
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,760
Speaker 1: remind myself that in this situation I need to draw

121
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:19,480
Speaker 1: on courage. So can you see the difference I'm accepting

122
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:24,400
Speaker 1: my automatic reactions while focusing on what I can control,

123
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:29,920
Speaker 1: and that is my behavior, and tapping into that wiser

124
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:35,839
Speaker 1: kind of higher self. Another alignment of these three approaches

125
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:40,200
Speaker 1: is their emphasis on living in harmony with nature. So

126
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,000
Speaker 1: the Stoics believed it is in our nature to live

127
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:48,880
Speaker 1: with rata, to cultivate this good character and contribute to society,

128
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,839
Speaker 1: and that's part of that zone one, how we live

129
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,520
Speaker 1: with integrity of what I'm calling now our higher self,

130
00:08:56,559 --> 00:09:02,280
Speaker 1: but what they call Arrata. And Marita also saw humans

131
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,880
Speaker 1: being human as inseparable from nature. So Marita, who was

132
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:10,559
Speaker 1: a prominent psychiatrist, he was head of a psychiatric ward

133
00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:14,520
Speaker 1: in Tokyo. He believed that to mess with our emotions

134
00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,920
Speaker 1: and our feelings and thoughts was to mess with nature itself.

135
00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:23,280
Speaker 1: So instead Marita encourages us to welcome our emotions and

136
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,720
Speaker 1: to allow them to come and go, just like the weather.

137
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:31,440
Speaker 1: So if you imagine emotions as weather patterns, and we

138
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:35,640
Speaker 1: are the sky, so there's storms, there's rain, there's sunshine,

139
00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:40,439
Speaker 1: there's gentle bruises, and there's gusty winds, and they're all transient.

140
00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:43,319
Speaker 1: We know that the weather comes and goes and if

141
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,200
Speaker 1: you're in Melbourne, you know, we can have four seasons

142
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,560
Speaker 1: in one day, and that can be our emotions a

143
00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:53,000
Speaker 1: lot of the time. But with Marita's approach, the sky

144
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:57,600
Speaker 1: is always there. It's vast and unchanging, even when the

145
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:02,920
Speaker 1: weather feels overwhelming. So we can coexist with these transient

146
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:07,800
Speaker 1: feelings while we live purposely and we do what needs

147
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,840
Speaker 1: to be done in that moment. And it doesn't mean

148
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:14,079
Speaker 1: that it's not uncomfortable, it doesn't mean that it's not hard,

149
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:18,679
Speaker 1: but we know that emotions they come and go, and

150
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,560
Speaker 1: we know that it's not going to be forever, and

151
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,720
Speaker 1: so we get on with what we need to do

152
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,320
Speaker 1: while coexisting and taking these emotions along with the ride.

153
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:32,240
Speaker 1: And this is why I encourage people to discover is

154
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:37,560
Speaker 1: what they can do while the emotional storm is there. So,

155
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:42,080
Speaker 1: for example, if someone is feeling really low, low mood,

156
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,560
Speaker 1: no energy, and they're caught in this cycle of self

157
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:49,959
Speaker 1: critical thoughts telling themselves they're an awful person, they can

158
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,560
Speaker 1: become so entrenched in the dark clouds that they lose

159
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,360
Speaker 1: sight of the sky. And what I do is I

160
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,920
Speaker 1: ask them to consider what is one small thing you

161
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,439
Speaker 1: can do right now? And it doesn't have to be monumental.

162
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,839
Speaker 1: It could be cooking a healthy meal, or taking a walk,

163
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,679
Speaker 1: or spending time with the dog, or even just doing

164
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,800
Speaker 1: the washing. The key is that it's something meaningful, something

165
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:20,680
Speaker 1: constructive or purposeful. And it's about taking the dark clouds

166
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,840
Speaker 1: with them, not fighting with them, not trying to blow

167
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:27,880
Speaker 1: them away, but slowly realizing that beyond the darkness of

168
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,520
Speaker 1: the clouds, there is the sky, and that is life.

169
00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:35,560
Speaker 1: It's still there, it still exists. And then finally, let's

170
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:39,520
Speaker 1: talk about ACT acceptance and commitment therapy. So ACT gives

171
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:44,720
Speaker 1: us tools and strategies to accept our automatic emotions and thoughts,

172
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,200
Speaker 1: knowing that they are not within our control, and helps

173
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:54,480
Speaker 1: us to act in alignment with our values. So, in ACT,

174
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:59,920
Speaker 1: the opposite of acceptance is fusion. Fusion happens when we

175
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,680
Speaker 1: become so entangled with our thoughts and emotions that they

176
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:08,000
Speaker 1: dominate all our awareness, so there's no space to choose

177
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,600
Speaker 1: our response, so we just react based on the emotion.

178
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,600
Speaker 1: It's like a big hook has come along and just

179
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,199
Speaker 1: pulled us off in a direction that we don't really

180
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,960
Speaker 1: want to go in. But the hook has all the power.

181
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,200
Speaker 1: And so one speaking of power, one powerful technique in

182
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:29,320
Speaker 1: act is called dropping anchor, and I'll go through it

183
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:33,440
Speaker 1: with you. But the only way to really grasp this

184
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:37,840
Speaker 1: is to practice it. So if you are interested in

185
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,880
Speaker 1: practicing this technique, all you really have to do is

186
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,720
Speaker 1: google it. You google dropping anchor. It was created by

187
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:49,320
Speaker 1: Russ Harrison. He has so many free, really helpful resources

188
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,280
Speaker 1: online and there will either be a script or there

189
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,600
Speaker 1: will even be a recording there that you can use.

190
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:59,040
Speaker 1: It's a really effective diffusion technique. So what it is

191
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,800
Speaker 1: is you first acknowledge your thoughts and feelings so you

192
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:07,120
Speaker 1: could silently name them. You could say, I notice anxiety,

193
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:11,920
Speaker 1: so notice where it is in the body. Just notice

194
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 1: how you're feeling internally. And then you ground yourself by

195
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:21,480
Speaker 1: using your body. Because you can always control your arms

196
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:25,040
Speaker 1: and legs, you can control your movement. So what I

197
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,600
Speaker 1: love to do is I push my feet into the floor.

198
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:32,000
Speaker 1: I find that really grounding, or straighten your posture or

199
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:36,360
Speaker 1: have a stretch. And then you expand your awareness by

200
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,480
Speaker 1: noticing the sits, the sounds, the textures all around you.

201
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:45,520
Speaker 1: You notice what's in the room using your senses, and

202
00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:48,960
Speaker 1: then you refocus on what you're doing, what needs to

203
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:52,640
Speaker 1: be done. Now aligned with your actions and with your values.

204
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:58,440
Speaker 1: So what this technique beautifully does is it acknowledges your

205
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:03,160
Speaker 1: internal experience. We make room for it. You can use

206
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:07,280
Speaker 1: the breath expand yourself to make room for these thoughts

207
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,480
Speaker 1: and feelings. And then you ground yourself by being aware

208
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:15,160
Speaker 1: of your body by moving. And then you're expanding your

209
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:19,000
Speaker 1: awareness even more by noticing what's in the external world.

210
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,920
Speaker 1: And then you go to committed action. And what this

211
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:26,720
Speaker 1: practice does is it helps us unhook from the fusion.

212
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,640
Speaker 1: So we're unhooking, we're getting rid of the hook. We're

213
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:34,160
Speaker 1: not struggling anymore. We can observe and accept our experiences

214
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:38,800
Speaker 1: with openness and curiosity, and then we act with purpose.

215
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,760
Speaker 1: So I have done a lot of study, a lot

216
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,840
Speaker 1: of training, a lot of practice in my own life

217
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:51,440
Speaker 1: using these three approaches, not separately. I combine them all

218
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:57,320
Speaker 1: because they tie together so beautifully, and the shared emphasis

219
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,080
Speaker 1: that the three of them have on acceptance on a

220
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:05,160
Speaker 1: tension and action. You know, you can feel anger and

221
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,480
Speaker 1: not act angry. You can feel anxious and still do

222
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,640
Speaker 1: the very thing that you are anxious about. You can

223
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,880
Speaker 1: feel depressed and still get up and shower and go

224
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:19,720
Speaker 1: to work. So that's what I love about these three

225
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:23,680
Speaker 1: approaches is that they teach us the skills to live

226
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:30,080
Speaker 1: well even when we are feeling strong, intense emotions on

227
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,360
Speaker 1: the inside. And this isn't about sucking it up. It's

228
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,080
Speaker 1: not about faking it till you make it. It's not

229
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,680
Speaker 1: about just like get on with it. It's about knowing

230
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,320
Speaker 1: and understanding and accepting what it is to be human.

231
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:47,720
Speaker 1: It's our nature. So we're making room for that while

232
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:52,000
Speaker 1: we live our lives knowing that our emotions are transient.

233
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,320
Speaker 1: So this week, ask yourself, what is in my zone one?

234
00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,400
Speaker 1: What is in my zone one for me today? And

235
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,600
Speaker 1: what is in my zone two? What am I putting

236
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,960
Speaker 1: my attention on? Am I putting my attention on the

237
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,880
Speaker 1: things I can control? Or am I struggling trying to

238
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:13,120
Speaker 1: control things in zone two? How can I align my

239
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:17,440
Speaker 1: actions not with my emotions, but align them with the

240
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,840
Speaker 1: person that you want to be or the person that

241
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,920
Speaker 1: you need to be in this situation. So, as I said,

242
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:29,000
Speaker 1: if you're interested in learning these skills of these approaches,

243
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:33,240
Speaker 1: I can recommend some books for you, and I'll put

244
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,000
Speaker 1: those in the show notes with some links. I'm actually

245
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,360
Speaker 1: writing a book myself, but it's taking a very long time,

246
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,000
Speaker 1: so in the meantime you can check these out if

247
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 1: you are interested in learning more about these three modalities.

248
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,920
Speaker 1: So my final words are accept how you feel, feel

249
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,560
Speaker 1: how you feel, and turn your attention to what you

250
00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:00,960
Speaker 1: can do and those actions are aligned with meaning, purpose

251
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,520
Speaker 1: and the person that you really want to be. So

252
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,399
Speaker 1: I have a great week everyone, and I will catch

253
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,120
Speaker 1: you next week.