1 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:13,161 Speaker 1: Apodjay Production. Welcome to the Shee Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,081 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 4 00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 6 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:29,321 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. Get ready for 8 00:00:29,361 --> 00:00:32,520 Speaker 1: your next level of self. Hello everybody, and welcome back 9 00:00:32,521 --> 00:00:34,601 Speaker 1: to the Shee Risers Podcast. We have a very special 10 00:00:34,641 --> 00:00:36,401 Speaker 1: guest on. This is someone that a lot of people 11 00:00:36,521 --> 00:00:40,121 Speaker 1: requested to have on and it's the sweet teacher Beg. Welcome, 12 00:00:40,361 --> 00:00:43,521 Speaker 1: Thank you, so happy to be here. So this topic, 13 00:00:43,641 --> 00:00:47,081 Speaker 1: I feel is a little bit controversial online, but before 14 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,681 Speaker 1: we get into it, every single Monday we ask our 15 00:00:49,721 --> 00:00:52,001 Speaker 1: guests or we share a recommendation of the week to 16 00:00:52,081 --> 00:00:53,361 Speaker 1: have something you want to share with us. 17 00:00:53,681 --> 00:00:57,001 Speaker 3: I am loving Ginny and Georgia the show. 18 00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 1: I've heard of this, We've heard of that. 19 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:03,681 Speaker 3: Season three has just dropped on netflick okay, and it's great. 20 00:01:03,801 --> 00:01:08,481 Speaker 3: I binged it Girlie Sexual. It's like sort of following 21 00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 3: teenagers at high school. Yeah mom, and the drama with 22 00:01:12,081 --> 00:01:12,961 Speaker 3: the adults as well. 23 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:19,281 Speaker 2: Okay, but okay, dramably love it bringing in the drama. 24 00:01:20,041 --> 00:01:21,961 Speaker 1: Alrighty, I'm going to jump straight into a bunch of 25 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,601 Speaker 1: questions because whenever I talk about sleep training my children, 26 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,601 Speaker 1: there's a lot of pushback, but there's also equally a 27 00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:31,161 Speaker 1: lot of curiosity and questions that come through, and always like, 28 00:01:31,321 --> 00:01:34,321 Speaker 1: go speak to Beck, Go speak to Beck. But totally 29 00:01:34,401 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 1: that's why I wanted to cover all today. So, as 30 00:01:36,441 --> 00:01:39,401 Speaker 1: I said, it is a very controversial topic. How do 31 00:01:39,481 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 1: you find the pushback or the opinions that come through? 32 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: And people say, oh, like sleep training is so bad? 33 00:01:45,121 --> 00:01:47,881 Speaker 1: Is that just cried out? You need to soothe your baby? 34 00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:50,681 Speaker 1: Like what is your initial response and what is sleep training? 35 00:01:50,881 --> 00:01:55,001 Speaker 3: I feel like the internet kind of wants to put 36 00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:59,481 Speaker 3: you in one of two camps, and it's like your 37 00:02:00,361 --> 00:02:04,521 Speaker 3: baby led co sleeping, breastfeeding and demand or all that 38 00:02:04,561 --> 00:02:06,961 Speaker 3: sort of thing. And then you've got the other extreme, 39 00:02:07,041 --> 00:02:10,121 Speaker 3: which is like nope, from when they get home to 40 00:02:10,201 --> 00:02:13,641 Speaker 3: the minute on a routine, which just isn't the case. 41 00:02:13,641 --> 00:02:17,800 Speaker 3: They're like such extremes and there's just this messy middle 42 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:21,441 Speaker 3: which usually most families fall into. Yeah, and I think 43 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,921 Speaker 3: unfortunately it's really loud on the internet, and so it 44 00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:29,401 Speaker 3: can feel like it's hard for mums because they feel 45 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:34,801 Speaker 3: stuck in fear of being judged. And so sleep training 46 00:02:35,041 --> 00:02:39,401 Speaker 3: is just making changes that feel really good for that family. 47 00:02:39,841 --> 00:02:44,241 Speaker 3: It's not all or nothing. It can be so different 48 00:02:44,361 --> 00:02:47,521 Speaker 3: for every family and just what's sustainable for them and 49 00:02:47,641 --> 00:02:53,401 Speaker 3: just to make them feel confident and like parenting. Yes, 50 00:02:53,481 --> 00:02:58,561 Speaker 3: because unfortunately we can see like sleep deprivation and this 51 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:01,441 Speaker 3: narrative of like that's just what it is when you 52 00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:04,041 Speaker 3: become a mother. You just have to suck it up 53 00:03:04,201 --> 00:03:08,321 Speaker 3: and you know, sleep when you're dead literally and it's 54 00:03:08,401 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 3: really hard because you lose yourself and it can't hope. Yeah, 55 00:03:12,881 --> 00:03:15,881 Speaker 3: I sleep, and especially when you've got more than one child. 56 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,441 Speaker 3: Sleep training is for you know, those parents that really 57 00:03:20,481 --> 00:03:25,321 Speaker 3: want to feel confident and not just survive this seak, yes, 58 00:03:25,361 --> 00:03:26,441 Speaker 3: which you don't have to. 59 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,721 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not even just about the adults sleeping, which 60 00:03:28,721 --> 00:03:30,521 Speaker 1: one hundred percent that was a big reason for me. 61 00:03:30,641 --> 00:03:32,921 Speaker 1: Could you talk about the importance of your baby getting 62 00:03:33,001 --> 00:03:36,001 Speaker 1: enough sleep because it impacts their moods, their brain development, 63 00:03:36,121 --> 00:03:36,841 Speaker 1: the way they eat. 64 00:03:37,641 --> 00:03:41,201 Speaker 3: The brain does most of it's heavy lifting during sleep, 65 00:03:41,441 --> 00:03:48,801 Speaker 3: so development, their immunity, the growth haunsters released in deep sleep. Obviously, 66 00:03:48,841 --> 00:03:53,001 Speaker 3: mental health for the parent is big glass. Yeah, so 67 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:56,281 Speaker 3: it is very important. We know how important sleep is, 68 00:03:56,441 --> 00:03:59,401 Speaker 3: but unfortunately we are in a bit of a society 69 00:03:59,401 --> 00:04:01,601 Speaker 3: at the moment where it's like go, go go, and 70 00:04:01,681 --> 00:04:05,561 Speaker 3: like put sleep on the back burner, which you can 71 00:04:05,761 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 3: do for a certain amount of time, but it does 72 00:04:08,201 --> 00:04:11,601 Speaker 3: catch up with you eventually and you just become a 73 00:04:11,641 --> 00:04:14,481 Speaker 3: bit more snappy and you don't enjoy it, and it 74 00:04:14,641 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 3: is like, I just want this to pass into is 75 00:04:17,441 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 3: such a beautiful season which you can enjoy and sort 76 00:04:23,081 --> 00:04:26,041 Speaker 3: of not have to wake up and be like, oh 77 00:04:26,121 --> 00:04:30,161 Speaker 3: another day, like dread the day. Yeah, anxiety is so 78 00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,321 Speaker 3: common as well, like that dread of the sunset of 79 00:04:33,401 --> 00:04:35,161 Speaker 3: like what's tonight? Yeah? 80 00:04:35,481 --> 00:04:37,681 Speaker 1: Yeah. And I also just want to say before we 81 00:04:37,721 --> 00:04:40,201 Speaker 1: get deep into this conversation too, I just don't think 82 00:04:40,241 --> 00:04:41,841 Speaker 1: there and I'm sure you agree there isn't like a 83 00:04:41,921 --> 00:04:45,280 Speaker 1: one size fits all. It depends on the child, the parent, 84 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:49,161 Speaker 1: the family, your lifestyle, your values. And we're not four again, 85 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,881 Speaker 1: why not a person I'm at four against I've got 86 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,561 Speaker 1: friends that and mums that go with the flow and 87 00:04:53,601 --> 00:04:55,561 Speaker 1: they do their thing and it's beautiful works for them 88 00:04:56,161 --> 00:04:58,961 Speaker 1: me and my personality, and I suppose because I run 89 00:04:58,961 --> 00:05:02,521 Speaker 1: a business too, I thrive on routine. So from get 90 00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: go it was always going to be we're in a 91 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,681 Speaker 1: good routine. And you know, people frowned upon it or 92 00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:10,841 Speaker 1: laughed at it, but sleep was so important to me 93 00:05:11,281 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 1: that this was just like a non It wasn't even 94 00:05:13,641 --> 00:05:14,961 Speaker 1: a question where I was going to be around this 95 00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:15,281 Speaker 1: or not. 96 00:05:15,761 --> 00:05:18,081 Speaker 3: And it can be really tricky as well if you 97 00:05:18,161 --> 00:05:21,841 Speaker 3: are that sort of person coming into motherhood, yeah, because 98 00:05:22,161 --> 00:05:26,841 Speaker 3: you do lose control. And it's not about controlling where 99 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 3: looking at sleep changes and things like that, it's just 100 00:05:30,081 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 3: getting into a bit of a rhythm and being able 101 00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:36,681 Speaker 3: to predict, well, is your baby hungry? Are they tied? 102 00:05:37,081 --> 00:05:40,481 Speaker 3: Like are they just annoyed and they're crying because something's 103 00:05:40,521 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 3: itchy on them? Like a lot of the time, like 104 00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:46,201 Speaker 3: crying is a big fear for lots of parents because 105 00:05:46,201 --> 00:05:48,801 Speaker 3: it can be triggering and it always kind of like 106 00:05:49,201 --> 00:05:53,001 Speaker 3: shut it down, stop it, which I'm always like, crying 107 00:05:53,081 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 3: is communication exactly, just how babies communicy exactly. And so 108 00:05:58,761 --> 00:06:02,161 Speaker 3: I try to teach families and the sleep picture. You know, 109 00:06:02,281 --> 00:06:04,921 Speaker 3: the girls that we work with as well. It's just 110 00:06:05,121 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 3: about sort of responding and not reacting and trying to 111 00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:14,041 Speaker 3: like silence everything and really force things, you know, And 112 00:06:14,081 --> 00:06:17,361 Speaker 3: it's just learning the different cues and that sort of thing. 113 00:06:17,401 --> 00:06:20,841 Speaker 3: And so that's where rhythm comes into it and can 114 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 3: be beautiful and take a lot of the guest workout. 115 00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:25,601 Speaker 1: Yeah, one thing I think a lot of people are 116 00:06:25,641 --> 00:06:27,721 Speaker 1: really scared of is the whole cry out method. And 117 00:06:27,761 --> 00:06:29,121 Speaker 1: I want to just say straight out, that is not 118 00:06:29,161 --> 00:06:31,041 Speaker 1: what you do. It's not what I've ever done or 119 00:06:31,081 --> 00:06:33,281 Speaker 1: what I've ever been taught. It was really cool to 120 00:06:33,401 --> 00:06:37,561 Speaker 1: learn different cues, ways to support them. Like, for example, 121 00:06:37,761 --> 00:06:40,561 Speaker 1: when Tyler was crying, it wasn't just like ignore her 122 00:06:40,681 --> 00:06:42,601 Speaker 1: for half an hour and hopes she goes back down. 123 00:06:42,641 --> 00:06:44,961 Speaker 1: It was like depending on the age too, Like there's 124 00:06:44,961 --> 00:06:46,801 Speaker 1: so many beautiful ways you can sue them and you 125 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,481 Speaker 1: learn their cries. Like I feel like it's different cries 126 00:06:49,561 --> 00:06:52,321 Speaker 1: for when I'm more confident. Yeah, you do. And even 127 00:06:52,361 --> 00:06:54,801 Speaker 1: like little things like before the nap or before bedtime, 128 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,481 Speaker 1: we still use the same cues. It's the sleep sack, 129 00:06:57,561 --> 00:07:00,080 Speaker 1: it's the white noise, it's the books, a sing along, 130 00:07:00,161 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: a cuddle, and it's just all those little things help 131 00:07:02,401 --> 00:07:04,361 Speaker 1: them to go, oh, it's time for bed. Whereas if 132 00:07:04,401 --> 00:07:05,841 Speaker 1: you don't have an of those things or like a 133 00:07:05,841 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: little routine in place, they kind of don't know what's happening, 134 00:07:08,401 --> 00:07:11,801 Speaker 1: and I think they feel unpredictable. I think they feel 135 00:07:11,961 --> 00:07:14,521 Speaker 1: more safer and confident when they know what's coming up next. 136 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:21,281 Speaker 3: Absolutely, Yeah, routine. Babies love predictability ffety exactly. And the 137 00:07:21,361 --> 00:07:25,401 Speaker 3: brain is always looking for patterns and that's formed two repetitious. 138 00:07:25,521 --> 00:07:28,961 Speaker 3: So the more we do something, the more comfortable it feels. Yeah. 139 00:07:29,041 --> 00:07:33,241 Speaker 3: So this is what happens when something's working for a family, 140 00:07:33,601 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 3: Like they might be feeding to sleep or rocking to sleep, 141 00:07:35,921 --> 00:07:41,161 Speaker 3: and then babies outgrow settling, so if we don't sort 142 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:44,401 Speaker 3: of move with them, particularly as they get older, they 143 00:07:44,401 --> 00:07:47,401 Speaker 3: can start to resist. So the feed or the rock 144 00:07:47,441 --> 00:07:50,521 Speaker 3: it's not working anymore. It's taking an hour or two hours, 145 00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:54,801 Speaker 3: and then they're sleeping, we're transferring them and then they're awake. 146 00:07:54,681 --> 00:07:56,521 Speaker 1: And looking for that again to get rollway. 147 00:07:56,641 --> 00:07:59,041 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's like another hour or two. So this 148 00:07:59,241 --> 00:08:03,761 Speaker 3: is where parents are like stuck because that child is 149 00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:07,721 Speaker 3: crying and it's like, well that's okay because we can 150 00:08:07,801 --> 00:08:11,481 Speaker 3: teach that child something like sleep doesn't have to look 151 00:08:11,561 --> 00:08:14,721 Speaker 3: like that. But there's this messy, sort of gray area 152 00:08:15,201 --> 00:08:19,641 Speaker 3: where we're guiding them to a new sort of pattern 153 00:08:20,481 --> 00:08:25,521 Speaker 3: which takes time. Us parents sort of want it immediate, 154 00:08:26,161 --> 00:08:28,721 Speaker 3: you know, and it's like, we've just got to give 155 00:08:28,761 --> 00:08:32,521 Speaker 3: your baby some space and some time to adapt. And 156 00:08:33,121 --> 00:08:37,001 Speaker 3: absolutely you can be there and reassure and sup, but 157 00:08:37,121 --> 00:08:40,881 Speaker 3: we don't need to run in and go back to 158 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:44,081 Speaker 3: that path of these resistance because this is where it 159 00:08:44,121 --> 00:08:46,481 Speaker 3: does get messy and gray. You So they can't pick 160 00:08:46,561 --> 00:08:49,761 Speaker 3: up a pattern, so it just is like more crying, yeah, 161 00:08:50,361 --> 00:08:53,321 Speaker 3: Mum and dad trying to do everything, rocky picking up Paddy, 162 00:08:53,521 --> 00:08:56,601 Speaker 3: trying to suppress the cry bag. So and this is 163 00:08:56,641 --> 00:08:59,841 Speaker 3: where sleep training gets a bad rap because they're like, 164 00:08:59,921 --> 00:09:02,441 Speaker 3: I've tried it, it doesn't yeah, And it's like it's 165 00:09:02,521 --> 00:09:05,201 Speaker 3: not just the settle, right, it's like what's happening through 166 00:09:05,241 --> 00:09:07,681 Speaker 3: the day with naps, sleep pressure, coming up to bed 167 00:09:07,761 --> 00:09:10,241 Speaker 3: our times. All that stuff is what we look at 168 00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:12,801 Speaker 3: and what sleep consultants look at. And then obviously it's 169 00:09:12,881 --> 00:09:18,001 Speaker 3: like realistic expectations of how long your baby's going to 170 00:09:18,081 --> 00:09:21,961 Speaker 3: take to start to become a bit more comfortable. Yeah. Yeah, 171 00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:23,481 Speaker 3: this way of sleeping. 172 00:09:23,361 --> 00:09:25,321 Speaker 1: It's so easy to get into habits too. Like I'll 173 00:09:25,321 --> 00:09:28,041 Speaker 1: speak from experience with Tylo I giggle at it now. 174 00:09:28,161 --> 00:09:30,441 Speaker 1: But she didn't take a dummy and she couldn't quite 175 00:09:30,441 --> 00:09:32,361 Speaker 1: suck her thumb, so we got into a habit of 176 00:09:32,401 --> 00:09:36,321 Speaker 1: her sucking our fingers to sleep. And at first it's like, oh, cute, 177 00:09:36,361 --> 00:09:39,561 Speaker 1: kit cute. And Christy who previously owned the Sleep Teacher 178 00:09:39,761 --> 00:09:42,281 Speaker 1: brand and now you've taken over. She came out and 179 00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,081 Speaker 1: did a console which your girls do for you on 180 00:09:44,121 --> 00:09:45,481 Speaker 1: our tea that work for you, which is awesome, so 181 00:09:45,481 --> 00:09:47,721 Speaker 1: you can do online training or someone comes to my house. 182 00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:49,681 Speaker 1: So I got it to my house and just show 183 00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:52,361 Speaker 1: me your routine and then put my fingers in Teller's mouth. 184 00:09:52,401 --> 00:09:53,641 Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, we're going to stop that. 185 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:57,201 Speaker 3: I remember, yeah, because that was with Christie. We were 186 00:09:57,241 --> 00:09:59,761 Speaker 3: talking about that and it's so common, like because when 187 00:09:59,761 --> 00:10:01,521 Speaker 3: they're little, they do like they want to like to 188 00:10:01,561 --> 00:10:05,001 Speaker 3: suck and yeah, so it's a really commin sleep association. 189 00:10:05,081 --> 00:10:07,161 Speaker 1: Oh it is, they go totally. But it was cool 190 00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:08,881 Speaker 1: just to have that support because I was like, oh 191 00:10:08,921 --> 00:10:10,401 Speaker 1: my god, this is working. I don't want to stop 192 00:10:10,441 --> 00:10:12,601 Speaker 1: because then she won't sleep. But yeah, it was literally 193 00:10:12,641 --> 00:10:14,561 Speaker 1: like two days later and she was over it. Yeah, 194 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,521 Speaker 1: she did not need it. It was like a story 195 00:10:16,561 --> 00:10:19,001 Speaker 1: I cream in my head. And yes, in those two days, 196 00:10:19,041 --> 00:10:20,881 Speaker 1: I went and rubbed her back and supported her a 197 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,361 Speaker 1: bit more and reassured her I was there. 198 00:10:22,401 --> 00:10:23,081 Speaker 3: But then she was over. 199 00:10:23,161 --> 00:10:26,041 Speaker 1: I was like, wow, that was way easy. 200 00:10:26,281 --> 00:10:28,401 Speaker 3: We build it up in our head and as well, 201 00:10:28,881 --> 00:10:32,081 Speaker 3: like we are told constantly like crying is bad, don't 202 00:10:32,121 --> 00:10:34,841 Speaker 3: let it happen, so that as well kind of plays 203 00:10:34,881 --> 00:10:37,881 Speaker 3: into it as well, which we understand. Crying is not 204 00:10:37,961 --> 00:10:41,201 Speaker 3: comfortable for anyone, yeah, especially when it's your little baby, 205 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:45,681 Speaker 3: but it is part of it, you know else, Okay, yeah, exactly, 206 00:10:45,721 --> 00:10:48,601 Speaker 3: And I always say like we want them to grow 207 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:51,761 Speaker 3: up and be able to cry. There's very true. And 208 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:55,201 Speaker 3: point is where like, don't die, it's okay. 209 00:10:55,601 --> 00:10:57,241 Speaker 2: It's like what you said, it's like triggering for the 210 00:10:57,281 --> 00:11:01,041 Speaker 2: parents to hear the crass and it's triggering the parents' 211 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,201 Speaker 2: response to be like okay, let me stop this triggering. 212 00:11:03,241 --> 00:11:03,921 Speaker 3: Most we're fine. 213 00:11:03,961 --> 00:11:05,921 Speaker 1: The moms that are more And I can only speak 214 00:11:05,921 --> 00:11:08,121 Speaker 1: from experience too. When I was really dysregulated in my 215 00:11:08,121 --> 00:11:10,681 Speaker 1: nervous system, I was so overstimulated by noise, so I 216 00:11:10,721 --> 00:11:12,801 Speaker 1: would try and quiet and it was with Tyler I 217 00:11:12,801 --> 00:11:14,681 Speaker 1: felt like I was more regulated, so I could allow 218 00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:16,561 Speaker 1: the cries a little bit more and still support her. 219 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,361 Speaker 3: Where it's a taj I was like, oh. 220 00:11:18,281 --> 00:11:20,041 Speaker 1: We got something's wrong. I'm a bad fum, Like I 221 00:11:20,121 --> 00:11:21,841 Speaker 1: need to shush. This is so upset all the time. 222 00:11:21,921 --> 00:11:24,401 Speaker 3: But it's just the noise that we hear. It's the noise. 223 00:11:24,681 --> 00:11:26,561 Speaker 2: Makes sense as a first time parent as well, to 224 00:11:26,921 --> 00:11:29,441 Speaker 2: have so much uncertainty around being a parent, of becoming 225 00:11:29,441 --> 00:11:32,201 Speaker 2: and stepping into the motherhood role. It's like you're in 226 00:11:32,241 --> 00:11:34,481 Speaker 2: this whole new game. I mean I can't speak from experience, 227 00:11:34,481 --> 00:11:36,841 Speaker 2: but I imagine that you're in this whole new game of 228 00:11:36,881 --> 00:11:39,601 Speaker 2: like everything is uncharted territory. I haven't done this before. 229 00:11:39,721 --> 00:11:41,521 Speaker 2: I don't know how to na well, and there's no 230 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:42,801 Speaker 2: manual of how to. 231 00:11:42,721 --> 00:11:46,241 Speaker 3: Do this, and we are so lacking a village now. 232 00:11:46,361 --> 00:11:47,841 Speaker 1: Oh we take about this often. 233 00:11:47,961 --> 00:11:52,281 Speaker 3: Yeah. I feel so sad for some family too into 234 00:11:52,561 --> 00:11:57,041 Speaker 3: parenthood because it's so isolating and we used to have. 235 00:11:57,201 --> 00:11:58,201 Speaker 1: Some aultres still do. 236 00:11:58,441 --> 00:12:01,001 Speaker 3: Yeah, like the village of like yeah, and you know, 237 00:12:01,081 --> 00:12:03,321 Speaker 3: it's just a lot more isolating, and we're looking at 238 00:12:03,441 --> 00:12:06,681 Speaker 3: lives through a screen that are only seeing what they 239 00:12:06,921 --> 00:12:10,561 Speaker 3: highlight real exactly, so that can be really hard they comparison. 240 00:12:10,681 --> 00:12:12,921 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was talking to Tiana about there the other day. Actually, 241 00:12:12,961 --> 00:12:15,121 Speaker 1: just like an African and Chinese cultures. I'm sure other 242 00:12:15,161 --> 00:12:17,441 Speaker 1: cultures too, It's like it literally is a village and 243 00:12:17,481 --> 00:12:20,561 Speaker 1: there's the forty days postparton with the mum is horizontal, 244 00:12:20,561 --> 00:12:22,521 Speaker 1: and the grandma's and the aunties and the sisters, and 245 00:12:22,521 --> 00:12:24,801 Speaker 1: everyone comes in and takes the baby and the mom 246 00:12:24,921 --> 00:12:27,561 Speaker 1: rests and like the whole village they were breastfeeding at 247 00:12:27,561 --> 00:12:30,801 Speaker 1: each other's babies and helping each other. And here it's like, oh, 248 00:12:30,841 --> 00:12:33,321 Speaker 1: you're an amazing mum. You're doing it all. You're working years, 249 00:12:33,401 --> 00:12:36,521 Speaker 1: you know, were praised for doing all. Yet we're crumbling 250 00:12:36,641 --> 00:12:37,641 Speaker 1: and burning out. 251 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:41,721 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I see like posts as well on Instagram 252 00:12:42,201 --> 00:12:44,881 Speaker 3: of like you should be doing the Fornia thing, and 253 00:12:44,921 --> 00:12:47,721 Speaker 3: it's like, or you know, why would I be working 254 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,401 Speaker 3: when I can be at the beach. It's like that's 255 00:12:50,441 --> 00:12:54,561 Speaker 3: so not reality. There's so many so true. All these 256 00:12:54,601 --> 00:12:59,361 Speaker 3: families have mostly two working parents, Yeah, still struggling or 257 00:12:59,801 --> 00:13:01,881 Speaker 3: don't have a lot of the Emily. Yeah, it's like. 258 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,001 Speaker 1: Daycares one hundred days a day, so they can't even 259 00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:06,161 Speaker 1: afform to get Carey in bed for forty days and 260 00:13:06,281 --> 00:13:07,601 Speaker 1: get two other children literally. 261 00:13:08,241 --> 00:13:11,401 Speaker 3: Yeah. So it's just really the expectation I think is 262 00:13:11,881 --> 00:13:14,961 Speaker 3: up here and we've lost the village, so all we 263 00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:16,561 Speaker 3: have to pay for Like I had paid for it, 264 00:13:16,681 --> 00:13:17,121 Speaker 3: I had to. 265 00:13:17,201 --> 00:13:19,401 Speaker 1: I chose to pay for a dueler to have my 266 00:13:19,481 --> 00:13:21,761 Speaker 1: village around. Yeah, and she was amazing, But all of 267 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,721 Speaker 1: the time that's not affordable for a lot of families. 268 00:13:24,361 --> 00:13:25,961 Speaker 1: I saw a thing on Instagram the other day. It 269 00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:27,881 Speaker 1: was I was like, wow, that's so true. We spend 270 00:13:27,961 --> 00:13:30,721 Speaker 1: so much money on a wedding, a wedding ring, a 271 00:13:30,761 --> 00:13:33,841 Speaker 1: beautiful nursery, the most expensive prem and like doing all 272 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:36,441 Speaker 1: that up. It's like, don't save that money and spend 273 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,881 Speaker 1: it on a dueler and get the care that you 274 00:13:37,961 --> 00:13:40,841 Speaker 1: need for your body and then emotional support. It's the 275 00:13:40,881 --> 00:13:43,841 Speaker 1: best thing a mom could do. I one hundred percent agree. 276 00:13:44,481 --> 00:13:46,481 Speaker 1: I would love to ask you because I have friends 277 00:13:46,561 --> 00:13:48,081 Speaker 1: have said this to me, and I'd love to know 278 00:13:48,121 --> 00:13:50,441 Speaker 1: what your response would be. Got one particular friend and 279 00:13:50,441 --> 00:13:54,081 Speaker 1: she's like, my kids just don't like sleep. I've tried everything. 280 00:13:54,241 --> 00:13:57,481 Speaker 1: My kids just don't flush to sleep. I'm like, of 281 00:13:57,521 --> 00:14:00,201 Speaker 1: course they want to sleep. Everyone wants to sleep. What 282 00:14:00,201 --> 00:14:02,241 Speaker 1: do you say to moms that are convinced that their 283 00:14:02,361 --> 00:14:04,401 Speaker 1: child is the child that will not go to sleep. 284 00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:07,241 Speaker 3: It's hard because when you do have that child, it 285 00:14:07,241 --> 00:14:12,561 Speaker 3: does feel like that. But typically I don't think any 286 00:14:12,681 --> 00:14:16,201 Speaker 3: baby is born hating sleep. You know, it is biologically 287 00:14:16,561 --> 00:14:19,041 Speaker 3: what we do, you know, So it is a skill. 288 00:14:19,761 --> 00:14:23,041 Speaker 3: Some babies need a little bit more guided, more guidance, 289 00:14:23,081 --> 00:14:25,241 Speaker 3: it's a nice way to put it. Yeah, So you know, 290 00:14:25,401 --> 00:14:28,121 Speaker 3: some take to it really easily. They usually have a 291 00:14:28,161 --> 00:14:31,601 Speaker 3: really chill temperament, and it's just like anything. You know, 292 00:14:31,881 --> 00:14:34,481 Speaker 3: if your baby was struggling to feed, you're going to 293 00:14:34,521 --> 00:14:38,201 Speaker 3: reach out together lactation consultant or whoever they is. But 294 00:14:38,401 --> 00:14:41,641 Speaker 3: people hesitate when it's sleep because they feel like they 295 00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:45,361 Speaker 3: should know how to do it. You know, there are 296 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:50,681 Speaker 3: sometimes medical reasons why sleep might not be happening, or 297 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,321 Speaker 3: there's a bit of a quolocky or our e and 298 00:14:53,441 --> 00:14:56,881 Speaker 3: t like enos throw us snoring. That's always a bit 299 00:14:56,921 --> 00:14:58,601 Speaker 3: of a red flag that we want to check out. 300 00:14:59,361 --> 00:15:01,961 Speaker 3: Usually a sleep consultant can pick that up pretty quickly 301 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,041 Speaker 3: because if we've given you a plan and we can 302 00:15:05,081 --> 00:15:07,801 Speaker 3: and see things aren't sort of falling into place or 303 00:15:08,321 --> 00:15:11,761 Speaker 3: that they be still waking hourly, you know, we then 304 00:15:11,801 --> 00:15:14,881 Speaker 3: would refer on But to be honest, most of the 305 00:15:14,921 --> 00:15:17,361 Speaker 3: time when we do have those families come to us, 306 00:15:17,801 --> 00:15:21,161 Speaker 3: if you can sort of help sleep out, a lot 307 00:15:21,201 --> 00:15:25,881 Speaker 3: of those symptoms disappear. Yeah, so the quality that you know, 308 00:15:25,921 --> 00:15:30,041 Speaker 3: all that sort of thing. So definitely there are children, yeah, 309 00:15:30,121 --> 00:15:32,801 Speaker 3: like they just need that little bit more help. And yes, 310 00:15:32,841 --> 00:15:35,921 Speaker 3: there are probably like a small portion that, Yeah, it 311 00:15:36,041 --> 00:15:40,161 Speaker 3: is something going on, but once you resolve that, sleep 312 00:15:40,201 --> 00:15:40,681 Speaker 3: will come. 313 00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:43,921 Speaker 1: So that's sort of what I would say to that. 314 00:15:44,081 --> 00:15:44,281 Speaker 3: Yeah. 315 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,841 Speaker 2: Do you think a lot of women are kind of 316 00:15:45,841 --> 00:15:47,921 Speaker 2: missing out on getting support because of the fear of 317 00:15:48,001 --> 00:15:50,721 Speaker 2: judgment of what people will say about their parenting skills 318 00:15:50,721 --> 00:15:52,961 Speaker 2: and choices. I feel like that's a big thing in 319 00:15:53,041 --> 00:15:55,281 Speaker 2: terms of being a parent. A lot of like outside noise. 320 00:15:55,561 --> 00:15:56,081 Speaker 1: Yeah, true. 321 00:15:56,241 --> 00:15:58,561 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know why it's with sleep, like because 322 00:15:58,601 --> 00:16:01,201 Speaker 3: with anything else, you know, if they're struggling with speaking 323 00:16:01,281 --> 00:16:02,081 Speaker 3: when you think they. 324 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,161 Speaker 1: Should be well, not feeding properly, yeah, lady, you. 325 00:16:04,161 --> 00:16:07,201 Speaker 3: Would employ speak, you know to get that guidance of 326 00:16:07,241 --> 00:16:08,801 Speaker 3: like what can I do, what can I do to 327 00:16:08,921 --> 00:16:11,841 Speaker 3: help them and to set them up to succeed. It's 328 00:16:11,881 --> 00:16:12,521 Speaker 3: just the same. 329 00:16:12,601 --> 00:16:14,001 Speaker 1: But we do have. 330 00:16:13,961 --> 00:16:18,561 Speaker 3: Unfortunately that stigma around sleep training. And I think it's 331 00:16:18,601 --> 00:16:22,401 Speaker 3: also from way back when they cried out we shut 332 00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:25,121 Speaker 3: the door. He's like they don't see them again, which 333 00:16:25,161 --> 00:16:28,641 Speaker 3: is just so not the case and from mama, just 334 00:16:28,841 --> 00:16:32,081 Speaker 3: your heart, you just couldn't. Yeah, sleep training, sleep changes, 335 00:16:32,081 --> 00:16:34,241 Speaker 3: whatever you want to call it, Yes, comes such a 336 00:16:34,281 --> 00:16:39,521 Speaker 3: long way, and we are supporting these babies through the change. 337 00:16:39,561 --> 00:16:43,121 Speaker 3: It doesn't mean that it's easy. And he's upset. I'm 338 00:16:43,481 --> 00:16:46,241 Speaker 3: so upfront with that, Like there is no such thing 339 00:16:46,481 --> 00:16:50,041 Speaker 3: as a no cry strategy, yeah you know. 340 00:16:50,201 --> 00:16:52,481 Speaker 1: And so that being called sleep training, I feel like 341 00:16:52,521 --> 00:16:55,761 Speaker 1: if it was like sleep support women language, so I 342 00:16:55,761 --> 00:16:57,561 Speaker 1: couldn't get some supportles sleep, but I don't want to 343 00:16:57,601 --> 00:17:00,601 Speaker 1: train my baby how to see it sounds too like harsh. 344 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:04,841 Speaker 1: I started like routine quite early with Tala, like eight, 345 00:17:05,481 --> 00:17:08,041 Speaker 1: which I know I'll get some pushback from. And it's 346 00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:09,761 Speaker 1: not even what you guys advised me to. It was 347 00:17:09,761 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 1: like a bit later you guys advised to start, But 348 00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:14,400 Speaker 1: it wasn't even like a strict routine. It was just okay, 349 00:17:14,441 --> 00:17:17,001 Speaker 1: we're gonna start getting ready at five point thirty, doing 350 00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:18,761 Speaker 1: the bath and the feed and go to bed. And 351 00:17:18,761 --> 00:17:21,681 Speaker 1: it was just the more routined I was, the more 352 00:17:21,801 --> 00:17:24,321 Speaker 1: relaxed she was. And I just found it easier and 353 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,120 Speaker 1: just for me to know what's coming next. And because 354 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 1: I had Taj as well, had to work around his 355 00:17:28,321 --> 00:17:30,761 Speaker 1: school schedule, it was just so much easier for the 356 00:17:30,761 --> 00:17:32,681 Speaker 1: family dynamic of light. We're doing this at this time, 357 00:17:32,721 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 1: We do this at this time. But I felt like 358 00:17:35,281 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: because I started earlier, she slept through earlier, and everything 359 00:17:38,721 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: was just easier. And I put it down to starting earlier. 360 00:17:41,681 --> 00:17:44,281 Speaker 1: What age do you think is appropriate all the best 361 00:17:44,321 --> 00:17:46,360 Speaker 1: time to start implementing routine? 362 00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 3: We all a was would say that fourth trimester is 363 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:53,481 Speaker 3: just more so that time to just focus on feeding 364 00:17:53,761 --> 00:17:56,521 Speaker 3: and getting to know your being. And obviously you can 365 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:01,481 Speaker 3: do things to help like your sleep environment, awake windows 366 00:18:01,561 --> 00:18:05,361 Speaker 3: are great. Yes, it's just that rhythm you know of day. 367 00:18:05,481 --> 00:18:08,561 Speaker 3: So we tend to find more around sort of four 368 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,041 Speaker 3: months of aig, you're going to get the momentum. Others. 369 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,601 Speaker 3: When I started with Targe at four months and then 370 00:18:13,681 --> 00:18:15,801 Speaker 3: I really find four months is a great age, and 371 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,240 Speaker 3: especially because four months is a big one so than 372 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:22,801 Speaker 3: four months regression that it's they're usually coming out of 373 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,241 Speaker 3: their swaddle, so arms out, they're usually starting to roll. 374 00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,680 Speaker 3: So there's such a lot happening at four months of 375 00:18:28,721 --> 00:18:31,160 Speaker 3: age where mothers and they're. 376 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 1: Like, oh my god, what is that? 377 00:18:33,281 --> 00:18:36,361 Speaker 3: Four months is are good to start making some gentle changes. 378 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,880 Speaker 3: And then I tend to find like five months is 379 00:18:39,321 --> 00:18:43,041 Speaker 3: where things start to like click in and yeah, consistency 380 00:18:43,201 --> 00:18:44,561 Speaker 3: starts to sort of shine through. 381 00:18:44,721 --> 00:18:47,801 Speaker 1: Cool, that's good advice. This is going to be very controversial. 382 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:48,721 Speaker 3: Bring it in. 383 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 1: So the whole sleep regressions and moms don't come at me, 384 00:18:53,721 --> 00:18:56,440 Speaker 1: but I'd been experience them with my kids, and my 385 00:18:56,481 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 1: friends that have done sleep training don't either. But the 386 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,681 Speaker 1: ones that haven't done any tend to feel every single one. 387 00:19:02,681 --> 00:19:04,801 Speaker 1: And there's one at four months, six months, eighteen months, 388 00:19:05,321 --> 00:19:08,200 Speaker 1: like every month's sick. And I'm like, but I honestly 389 00:19:08,201 --> 00:19:09,801 Speaker 1: didn't feel any of them. 390 00:19:10,561 --> 00:19:13,321 Speaker 3: Are they a thing? That's what I'm asking. I've got 391 00:19:13,321 --> 00:19:17,200 Speaker 3: three boys as well, I didn't see so much babies 392 00:19:17,681 --> 00:19:21,801 Speaker 3: go through developmental things. Yes, and it can interrupt sleep. Again, 393 00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:25,241 Speaker 3: it's going to come down a lot to temperament of baby. 394 00:19:25,961 --> 00:19:28,640 Speaker 3: If they're a little bit more sensitive to change and 395 00:19:28,681 --> 00:19:31,521 Speaker 3: things like or that they're going to feel it more, 396 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:34,360 Speaker 3: which is going to come out, you know, with a 397 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:38,001 Speaker 3: bit more crying, unsettledness, that sort of thing. We tend 398 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,761 Speaker 3: to look for reasons as to why our baby is 399 00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 3: waking up, and mostly it's teeth a regression, like because 400 00:19:47,481 --> 00:19:50,201 Speaker 3: that's what we want. We want to know why. Oh well, 401 00:19:50,201 --> 00:19:52,321 Speaker 3: because I'm a compound a solution or all the six 402 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 3: months regression, they've got teeth coming, you know. But a 403 00:19:56,241 --> 00:19:59,920 Speaker 3: lot of the time, actually it's just more so they 404 00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:04,441 Speaker 3: might have outgrown their routine be more awake time, or 405 00:20:04,481 --> 00:20:07,321 Speaker 3: they've about in the settling methods so the rock isn't 406 00:20:07,321 --> 00:20:09,561 Speaker 3: working anymal, or they're starting to wake up a bit. 407 00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:13,920 Speaker 3: So I would say there's definitely like the four month 408 00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:17,400 Speaker 3: progression regression, whichever you want to look at it, that 409 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:18,401 Speaker 3: is a thing that's a. 410 00:20:18,321 --> 00:20:21,481 Speaker 1: Permanent common thing. Hey, I always hear the four month one. 411 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,481 Speaker 3: It's a permanent shift in their sleep cycles. So they 412 00:20:24,521 --> 00:20:27,801 Speaker 3: go from newborn sleep to more like adult sleep cycles, 413 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 3: so they're waking up more frequently. So that is a 414 00:20:30,801 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 3: big noticeable difference for a lot of families. The other 415 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 3: ones I would say coincide with developmental changes. So around 416 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:42,640 Speaker 3: six months they're starting solids, they're starting up. Yeah, I 417 00:20:42,681 --> 00:20:47,081 Speaker 3: think it coincides with the changes changes learning things. 418 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,321 Speaker 1: I heard around that six months too, when they start 419 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,841 Speaker 1: talking more, their brains just a bit more like ones 420 00:20:51,961 --> 00:20:53,880 Speaker 1: like they can be trying to sleep when their brains 421 00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 1: like when. 422 00:20:54,561 --> 00:20:58,561 Speaker 3: They're learning things. Definitely, if you're seeing your baby weeks 423 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:04,641 Speaker 3: on end waking up like frequently, it's the association. It's 424 00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:09,321 Speaker 3: like what's happening at bedtime? Or You've got children that 425 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,120 Speaker 3: can sell settle beautifully, so that is putting themselves to 426 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,761 Speaker 3: sleep at the start of bedtime or the nap, but 427 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,841 Speaker 3: they have a like a resettling association, so they're two 428 00:21:17,961 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 3: different skills. You've got babies that can put themselves to 429 00:21:21,001 --> 00:21:24,241 Speaker 3: sleep beautifully, that's the easier time to do it because 430 00:21:24,281 --> 00:21:26,641 Speaker 3: sleep pressure is very high, so they can go in. 431 00:21:27,001 --> 00:21:29,360 Speaker 3: But then as the night goes on that sleep pressure 432 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,641 Speaker 3: wears off, they're more prone to waking up, and then 433 00:21:32,721 --> 00:21:36,041 Speaker 3: we can start this pattern of feedback to sleep. Yeah, 434 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,481 Speaker 3: and then you see that time and time again until 435 00:21:38,521 --> 00:21:39,041 Speaker 3: morning time. 436 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:41,880 Speaker 1: Yes, do you find I had a girlfriend once who 437 00:21:41,921 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 1: didn't do any sleep support, but then once a baby 438 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,121 Speaker 1: got to like sixteen months, she had a big breakdown 439 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,640 Speaker 1: and her he just wasn't toddler then wasn't sleeping, so 440 00:21:49,681 --> 00:21:51,761 Speaker 1: she got someone in then, but she said it was 441 00:21:51,921 --> 00:21:54,080 Speaker 1: so hard because he was old enough to get in 442 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:58,561 Speaker 1: the cot like scream and it was months of work. 443 00:21:58,801 --> 00:22:00,960 Speaker 1: Ye do you find that with older kids and babies 444 00:22:01,001 --> 00:22:01,801 Speaker 1: it's a lot harder. 445 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 3: I love toddlers. They are other. 446 00:22:06,921 --> 00:22:07,561 Speaker 1: Are they ever? 447 00:22:08,001 --> 00:22:10,241 Speaker 3: Yes, it's a little bit more tricky for the parent 448 00:22:10,561 --> 00:22:15,520 Speaker 3: because exactly they're talking, they're saying your name that you 449 00:22:15,521 --> 00:22:18,721 Speaker 3: know they've got these allowed to scream yeah, oh, as said, 450 00:22:18,801 --> 00:22:21,720 Speaker 3: they've got wants and knees and they're gonna let you 451 00:22:21,801 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 3: know those months like loudly. So I would say baby 452 00:22:27,561 --> 00:22:31,361 Speaker 3: sleep is more about patterns and things like that. Toddler's 453 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:37,201 Speaker 3: sleep is more about pushing boundaries. Yeah scrap, And it's 454 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:42,241 Speaker 3: very hard for parents to hold boundaries with a toddler consistently. 455 00:22:42,721 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 2: You're down, yeah, so oh you is get on a 456 00:22:45,521 --> 00:22:45,921 Speaker 2: bad day. 457 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:51,001 Speaker 3: Like, toddlers respond so well with boundaries, and we really 458 00:22:51,561 --> 00:22:55,681 Speaker 3: need to be their leader when we give them that 459 00:22:55,761 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 3: they don't know what to do with it, and everything 460 00:22:58,721 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 3: kind of blows up. So, yes, it's hard to hold 461 00:23:03,281 --> 00:23:06,120 Speaker 3: boundaries with toddlers, but actually doesn't need to take that 462 00:23:06,201 --> 00:23:08,601 Speaker 3: long to make changes with toddlers. It's just a bit 463 00:23:08,681 --> 00:23:13,001 Speaker 3: harder because they're like letting you know and not into 464 00:23:13,041 --> 00:23:15,281 Speaker 3: what you're doing. Someone sounds like you have to be 465 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 3: more phone when they're a toddler as opposter when they're younger, 466 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 3: because when they're younger you can if you have little 467 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,160 Speaker 3: slip ups. They're a baby, they're not responding in the 468 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,041 Speaker 3: way that a toddler would. But with a toddler, it's 469 00:23:24,041 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 3: like you slip up once and they've got you, and 470 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,321 Speaker 3: then the next time they're going to push yeah, that 471 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,360 Speaker 3: boundary and keep trying. And it's like you know, when 472 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,881 Speaker 3: you're at the park and it's time to go. If 473 00:23:32,921 --> 00:23:34,801 Speaker 3: you say to that child, oh, it's time to go, 474 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,801 Speaker 3: and they're like, no, I want to stay here all day, 475 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,321 Speaker 3: You're not going to do that. You're going to pick 476 00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:40,961 Speaker 3: them up and put them in the car and they're 477 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:43,281 Speaker 3: probably not going to love that. But when we get 478 00:23:43,321 --> 00:23:47,041 Speaker 3: to sleep, it's the end of the day. Mom's tired. 479 00:23:47,441 --> 00:23:51,681 Speaker 3: We're just like great, here's the water, here's the like, yeah, 480 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,881 Speaker 3: fifty books, like you know, come and say good night 481 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 3: to the tree. Let's so all about that. Oh my gosh, 482 00:23:59,761 --> 00:24:02,440 Speaker 3: it's like we do all that because we're just like 483 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,561 Speaker 3: pathily resistance. I want you to astley And so this 484 00:24:05,721 --> 00:24:08,880 Speaker 3: is where it unravels. Obviously, the more tired they get, 485 00:24:08,921 --> 00:24:13,001 Speaker 3: the more like big emotions come out. So yeah, it's 486 00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:16,721 Speaker 3: toddlers can sleep really well, even though they don't show 487 00:24:16,761 --> 00:24:20,401 Speaker 3: it initially. They absolutely love boundaries and they need them. 488 00:24:20,521 --> 00:24:21,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, even as an adult. 489 00:24:22,041 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 2: Like when I logically think of this as an adult 490 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,801 Speaker 2: and like, I need boundaries, I need sleep, I need structure. 491 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,721 Speaker 2: When I'm not structured, I feel like an absolute mess, 492 00:24:30,001 --> 00:24:33,761 Speaker 2: emotionally uttered, more scattered. I don't feel like almost safe 493 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:34,360 Speaker 2: in a sense. 494 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,921 Speaker 3: So I can imagine it's exact same out babies and 495 00:24:37,001 --> 00:24:40,840 Speaker 3: that predictability that creates that safety. Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, 496 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,920 Speaker 3: even when they're like and that's their job. Rights are 497 00:24:43,961 --> 00:24:47,001 Speaker 3: meant to push boundaries and see what happens. 498 00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:48,161 Speaker 1: That thatttle's an effect. 499 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:53,041 Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's okay to say no to your toddler 500 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,960 Speaker 3: when you know that they need to go to sleep, 501 00:24:56,481 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 3: and you know hear them out. I can see you're 502 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,281 Speaker 3: really upset, my love, but it is actually time for 503 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:04,361 Speaker 3: sleep now. And obviously we talk all through that of 504 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,880 Speaker 3: the what if and what happens when this happens, and yeah, 505 00:25:06,921 --> 00:25:08,961 Speaker 3: that's that beauty of having that support. 506 00:25:09,681 --> 00:25:11,321 Speaker 1: And most of them don't know what to do. You 507 00:25:11,321 --> 00:25:12,120 Speaker 1: don't get a manual. 508 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,440 Speaker 2: I assume when you have multiple children, like you've got 509 00:25:14,481 --> 00:25:15,920 Speaker 2: to take care of the household, you would take care 510 00:25:15,961 --> 00:25:18,200 Speaker 2: of yourself. You've got other children to look after, and 511 00:25:18,201 --> 00:25:19,921 Speaker 2: then you've got to manage trying to get your child 512 00:25:19,921 --> 00:25:21,961 Speaker 2: to sleep and then trying not to have a disruptive 513 00:25:21,961 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 2: sleep yourself. It's like, how do you keep everything together 514 00:25:24,321 --> 00:25:25,081 Speaker 2: when you feel. 515 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,281 Speaker 1: For your lip? Oh, they've got their full night's sleep. 516 00:25:27,281 --> 00:25:28,761 Speaker 3: It's just so important. 517 00:25:29,281 --> 00:25:31,801 Speaker 1: So for any mom's listening, could you talk over what 518 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,601 Speaker 1: the options are, Like, they can get a house console 519 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:38,281 Speaker 1: if they're not local, they can get on Zoom or Skype, yes, and. 520 00:25:38,281 --> 00:25:44,161 Speaker 3: Web courses worldwide basically well people in New York and yeah, 521 00:25:44,201 --> 00:25:47,041 Speaker 3: so it's all via what's Apple Skype. We got to 522 00:25:47,041 --> 00:25:50,480 Speaker 3: do their phone consultation. We have a package which is 523 00:25:50,521 --> 00:25:52,920 Speaker 3: the phone consultation. You get our sleep guide, which is 524 00:25:52,961 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 3: the comprehensive aims at your age child. Yeah, then you 525 00:25:56,761 --> 00:26:00,640 Speaker 3: have two weeks of support from us, So they send 526 00:26:00,761 --> 00:26:03,401 Speaker 3: their sleep logs in we kind of go through it, 527 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:07,840 Speaker 3: make suggestions, make tweaks, answer questions, because that's the thing. 528 00:26:07,961 --> 00:26:10,120 Speaker 3: You can have a plan, but things are going to 529 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,761 Speaker 3: come up. Yeah, it happens, Yes, you know. And that's 530 00:26:12,761 --> 00:26:18,440 Speaker 3: really beautiful because we help tweak and troubleshoot and pivot. Yeah, hivot. 531 00:26:18,681 --> 00:26:20,561 Speaker 2: That's a good I love the way I have. It 532 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,321 Speaker 2: must be so reassuring as a parent to be able 533 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:25,961 Speaker 2: to have that outside support use. I imagine when you're 534 00:26:25,961 --> 00:26:27,600 Speaker 2: in the thick of it, it'd be hard to see 535 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,720 Speaker 2: outside of that perspective of like, I'm so exhausted right now, 536 00:26:30,681 --> 00:26:33,361 Speaker 2: I haven't slept up every ninety minutes throughout the night 537 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,521 Speaker 2: trying to get my child to sleep. 538 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,521 Speaker 1: And I feel like thinkings straight when you're that tired, 539 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 1: just so justsregulars. 540 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,801 Speaker 2: The moment you get super tired, just overly emotional, you knowing, 541 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,001 Speaker 2: and struggling. So to have that dark place, Yeah, and 542 00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:45,761 Speaker 2: it also really affect your relationship as well. 543 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, all the time. 544 00:26:47,721 --> 00:26:50,881 Speaker 1: Yeah, I can imagine that you're already both partners are, 545 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:55,120 Speaker 1: you know, from work, life stress, financial stress, lack of connection, 546 00:26:55,201 --> 00:26:57,680 Speaker 1: all the things already and then to top up with 547 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,201 Speaker 1: emotional overtied baby or toddler. 548 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,281 Speaker 3: It's just really really tough. And if you are experiencing 549 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:09,360 Speaker 3: you know, snail depression of their sail anxiety, which many do, Yeah, 550 00:27:09,441 --> 00:27:15,481 Speaker 3: the sleep deprivation just amplifies all those feelings so tough, 551 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,360 Speaker 3: you know, So if you can just help in the 552 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:22,360 Speaker 3: smallest way of like getting for our stretch of sleep, like, 553 00:27:22,441 --> 00:27:24,161 Speaker 3: it's just so helpful, so. 554 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,160 Speaker 2: Important, and it just be hairline trigger after hairline trigger 555 00:27:27,201 --> 00:27:28,321 Speaker 2: when you're in state. 556 00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:30,640 Speaker 1: And because you're a mum as well, I just felt 557 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,520 Speaker 1: comfortable not unloading, but saying like, oh my gosh, I'm 558 00:27:33,521 --> 00:27:35,521 Speaker 1: struggling with this, this is what I'm feeling, and you're 559 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,001 Speaker 1: just so yeah, so reassuring that even through those tougher 560 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,721 Speaker 1: days when I'm trying to figure it out or tilely 561 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,401 Speaker 1: is overtired. It was just so nice to have someone 562 00:27:42,441 --> 00:27:44,681 Speaker 1: to turn to that got it understood and then could 563 00:27:44,721 --> 00:27:47,161 Speaker 1: provide me with guidance and what to do next. Maybe 564 00:27:47,201 --> 00:27:48,481 Speaker 1: feel more in control. 565 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,160 Speaker 3: If you are sort of struggling or just looking for 566 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,360 Speaker 3: a few little things to implement. One of the big 567 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:58,200 Speaker 3: things is wake windows, so they're so easy to follow 568 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 3: and it can just get you into starting a bit 569 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,921 Speaker 3: of a rhythm of like okay, after two hours, we're 570 00:28:03,961 --> 00:28:07,441 Speaker 3: gonna pop you out down. That can help, and then 571 00:28:07,721 --> 00:28:11,481 Speaker 3: your energy is very much what we want to look 572 00:28:11,521 --> 00:28:14,241 Speaker 3: at as well. So if we're up here and your 573 00:28:14,241 --> 00:28:18,241 Speaker 3: baby's up here, it's not a great mix, and it's 574 00:28:18,241 --> 00:28:19,921 Speaker 3: hard in the moment, but we just want to kind 575 00:28:19,961 --> 00:28:22,760 Speaker 3: of take some breaths, go in and just try and 576 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,240 Speaker 3: share your calm with your baby. And a lot of 577 00:28:26,281 --> 00:28:29,521 Speaker 3: the time we're doing a hundred things. So if your 578 00:28:29,561 --> 00:28:33,960 Speaker 3: baby is in that state and they're overtired as working, 579 00:28:34,441 --> 00:28:37,160 Speaker 3: we just want to choose one thing. Go into a 580 00:28:37,241 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 3: nice dark room, cuddle them, pat them, like whatever you 581 00:28:40,481 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 3: want to do. But just stick with that for you know, 582 00:28:43,041 --> 00:28:45,761 Speaker 3: a good amount of time because they will go to sleep. 583 00:28:45,761 --> 00:28:51,281 Speaker 3: But when we're constantly changing, it's very overstimulating for sure, 584 00:28:51,281 --> 00:28:53,200 Speaker 3: and we just keep going up and up and up. 585 00:28:53,361 --> 00:28:58,041 Speaker 3: So it's like reset, have a few deep breaths, yeah, 586 00:28:58,041 --> 00:29:00,561 Speaker 3: and then just like stick with it. They will settle 587 00:29:00,601 --> 00:29:02,241 Speaker 3: and go to sleep. But we've just got to try 588 00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:06,440 Speaker 3: and keep that dead. Yeah, to close it off, I 589 00:29:06,441 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 3: would love your top three tips. I'm guessing that's one 590 00:29:08,761 --> 00:29:10,801 Speaker 3: of them at Wait Windows. What would be two other things? 591 00:29:10,841 --> 00:29:12,241 Speaker 1: At Wesley Snows I. 592 00:29:12,161 --> 00:29:15,841 Speaker 3: Would say a wine down routine, Yeah, sout, so like 593 00:29:15,921 --> 00:29:19,281 Speaker 3: you're little, what happens before you put them down for 594 00:29:19,281 --> 00:29:19,720 Speaker 3: an apple? 595 00:29:19,761 --> 00:29:22,361 Speaker 1: Bedtime bottle, sleepsack white. 596 00:29:23,681 --> 00:29:26,041 Speaker 3: Yep, that's the start of that pattern of life. Usually 597 00:29:26,041 --> 00:29:30,041 Speaker 3: it's coming. It's coming, So that's really good. And then yeah, 598 00:29:30,081 --> 00:29:34,441 Speaker 3: I would say, as much as we harp on about it, consistency, 599 00:29:34,641 --> 00:29:39,721 Speaker 3: So don't try something once and be like it didn't 600 00:29:39,721 --> 00:29:43,281 Speaker 3: works because it takes time. It takes time for your 601 00:29:43,321 --> 00:29:48,561 Speaker 3: baby to become comfortable and familiar with a different way, 602 00:29:49,001 --> 00:29:51,960 Speaker 3: and so it doesn't make it wrong when they're upset 603 00:29:51,961 --> 00:29:55,881 Speaker 3: about it. Yeah, just means we're supporting and reassuring them 604 00:29:56,041 --> 00:29:59,241 Speaker 3: through their big emotions to get to that end goal 605 00:29:59,361 --> 00:30:04,081 Speaker 3: where it's more sustainable, everyone's sleeping better. Yeah, there's just 606 00:30:04,121 --> 00:30:04,921 Speaker 3: that little grape here. 607 00:30:05,201 --> 00:30:09,281 Speaker 1: I remember Christie saying too, it was like sleep eat play, 608 00:30:09,601 --> 00:30:14,121 Speaker 1: whereas I used to do feed to sleep. Then she 609 00:30:14,201 --> 00:30:17,041 Speaker 1: becomes reliant on so it's like, yeah, sleep feed straight 610 00:30:17,041 --> 00:30:20,601 Speaker 1: away and then play. That helps with sleep pressure. 611 00:30:20,801 --> 00:30:24,201 Speaker 3: So sleep pressure is what happens when baby wakes up 612 00:30:24,361 --> 00:30:27,720 Speaker 3: to the next nap, building sleep pressure to go to 613 00:30:27,761 --> 00:30:29,961 Speaker 3: sleepy yap. So this is what we do. We wake up, 614 00:30:30,041 --> 00:30:32,001 Speaker 3: we are awake all day if we don't have a 615 00:30:32,001 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 3: little sneaky nap, and then we go down for a 616 00:30:34,721 --> 00:30:37,561 Speaker 3: bedtime and our sleep pressure is high, you know. So 617 00:30:38,281 --> 00:30:42,241 Speaker 3: often babies will find the opportunities in their awake window, 618 00:30:42,401 --> 00:30:44,480 Speaker 3: so that two hours that they might be awake if 619 00:30:44,481 --> 00:30:48,361 Speaker 3: they're constantly feeding, or they're feeding right before nap time. 620 00:30:49,041 --> 00:30:53,401 Speaker 3: What happens is you're zapping that sleep pressure, so they're 621 00:30:53,521 --> 00:30:56,161 Speaker 3: essentially getting a bit of a second wind or a 622 00:30:56,201 --> 00:30:58,960 Speaker 3: little reboot time to go for a proper nap. So 623 00:30:59,121 --> 00:31:01,720 Speaker 3: then we're like, sweep, it's been two hours. I've just 624 00:31:01,761 --> 00:31:03,881 Speaker 3: given you a nice sleepy cuddle. And then we go 625 00:31:04,001 --> 00:31:06,041 Speaker 3: to put them into the cot and they're like either 626 00:31:06,081 --> 00:31:09,321 Speaker 3: screaming at you or like, hey, mum, that's what's going on. 627 00:31:09,441 --> 00:31:10,441 Speaker 1: I've rested and I'm good. 628 00:31:10,881 --> 00:31:12,801 Speaker 3: It's a bit of a full sense of security because 629 00:31:12,841 --> 00:31:15,081 Speaker 3: they feel like they've had a rest. 630 00:31:15,561 --> 00:31:18,521 Speaker 1: Went back today. We've plug the battery and they've reached 631 00:31:18,561 --> 00:31:20,481 Speaker 1: out with it. God from red to green and they're 632 00:31:20,521 --> 00:31:21,121 Speaker 1: ready to go again. 633 00:31:21,521 --> 00:31:23,801 Speaker 3: So then you get into this battle and you're trying 634 00:31:23,801 --> 00:31:26,401 Speaker 3: to get it to sleep. They're not tired, they're screaming 635 00:31:26,441 --> 00:31:29,081 Speaker 3: at you. So that is all what we look at, 636 00:31:29,161 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 3: and really it's just about setting that baby up to 637 00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:36,281 Speaker 3: succeed at nap time or bedtime. Is a minimal amount 638 00:31:36,321 --> 00:31:38,121 Speaker 3: of upset as possible? So good. 639 00:31:38,321 --> 00:31:40,561 Speaker 2: Something that you touched on before about consistency, when you said, 640 00:31:40,601 --> 00:31:42,841 Speaker 2: you know, don't try something just once and then leave 641 00:31:42,881 --> 00:31:45,401 Speaker 2: it is there. I know this is obviously different based 642 00:31:45,481 --> 00:31:47,321 Speaker 2: on the baby in all of the very walls, but 643 00:31:47,641 --> 00:31:50,081 Speaker 2: is there like a minimum or a rough for somebody 644 00:31:50,081 --> 00:31:52,721 Speaker 2: who is the kind of stop and start trialing new things. 645 00:31:52,761 --> 00:31:53,841 Speaker 2: How long would you say to. 646 00:31:53,841 --> 00:31:58,041 Speaker 3: Like, Yeah, it depends on how you're going to make 647 00:31:58,081 --> 00:32:00,440 Speaker 3: the change. So if we're going to start in the 648 00:32:00,561 --> 00:32:03,561 Speaker 3: room and really like if they're feeding to sleep, are 649 00:32:03,601 --> 00:32:06,441 Speaker 3: we then going to start holding and putting? So there's 650 00:32:06,721 --> 00:32:10,001 Speaker 3: lots of different factors that go into it, but typically 651 00:32:10,121 --> 00:32:12,361 Speaker 3: within a week, Yeah, you would want to see massive 652 00:32:12,481 --> 00:32:17,641 Speaker 3: change and less resistance, less upset as well, and more 653 00:32:17,681 --> 00:32:21,401 Speaker 3: like okay this is okay than healing asleep. They're sleeping 654 00:32:21,401 --> 00:32:26,441 Speaker 3: for longer stretches that sort of they're taking to it. Yeah, yeah, beautiful, awesome, You've. 655 00:32:26,241 --> 00:32:29,001 Speaker 1: Given so much information. Thank you so so much. 656 00:32:29,361 --> 00:32:29,881 Speaker 3: Incredible. 657 00:32:29,961 --> 00:32:33,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and we know, like, yeah don't we all a 658 00:32:33,281 --> 00:32:35,641 Speaker 1: big percentage of our audience is mums. To really hope 659 00:32:35,681 --> 00:32:37,761 Speaker 1: anyone listening this is really helpful for you. But if 660 00:32:37,761 --> 00:32:39,921 Speaker 1: anyone wants to reach out and just ask your question, 661 00:32:40,441 --> 00:32:44,240 Speaker 1: inquire about a consultation, or you're desperate to get some 662 00:32:44,281 --> 00:32:46,241 Speaker 1: help with your baby's sleep, because you are, you're that 663 00:32:46,321 --> 00:32:48,601 Speaker 1: mum listening going I'm at my wits end. Yeah, someone 664 00:32:48,641 --> 00:32:50,121 Speaker 1: helped me. Where do they find you? 665 00:32:50,601 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 3: We are at the sleep Teacher on Instagram so always 666 00:32:54,041 --> 00:32:57,321 Speaker 3: in the DM so absolutely do that. They can email 667 00:32:57,401 --> 00:33:01,201 Speaker 3: me at beckbeck at the sleep Teacher dot com dot 668 00:33:01,201 --> 00:33:05,440 Speaker 3: au and yeah, I'm open book of like, come and 669 00:33:05,481 --> 00:33:08,161 Speaker 3: talk to me and I will absolutely. I'm here for 670 00:33:08,161 --> 00:33:11,521 Speaker 3: the mums as well, absolutely for the babies. But I'm like, 671 00:33:12,201 --> 00:33:15,161 Speaker 3: let's go, mum, let's get that sleep and get you 672 00:33:15,801 --> 00:33:19,881 Speaker 3: mothering how you always envisioned, because suitiful, it can be rough. 673 00:33:20,201 --> 00:33:22,561 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much, really appreciate your time and 674 00:33:22,561 --> 00:33:25,121 Speaker 1: we will leave bex details all the show notes below us. 675 00:33:25,121 --> 00:33:27,281 Speaker 1: If you want to reach out then definitely do so, 676 00:33:27,321 --> 00:33:29,041 Speaker 1: and thanks for joining us. 677 00:33:28,721 --> 00:33:31,161 Speaker 3: Anytime, Thank you for having me, good Bye, guys. Hi