WEBVTT - I Quit Half My Goals and My Life Got Better 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.960 You're not actually afraid of failure. You're afraid of other 0:00:04.000 --> 0:00:07.040 people's perception of you failing. So you're actually worried about 0:00:07.040 --> 0:00:09.960 what other people think of you failing, not you actually failing. 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:13.360 Hello and welcome back to Stephing Up. If this is 0:00:13.360 --> 0:00:16.640 your first time joining us, well me Hi. I am 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:20.840 Steph Steph the Mess who is also ironically known online 0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:24.400 for my organization hacks, and I'm also the CEO of 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:28.440 my planner and last our brand, steph Pace Planners. I 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:31.080 am also recently an author, a mom of two, and 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:34.879 amongst all that, I have ADHD, which is lots of fun. 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:38.480 You can find me across most social media like Instagram, 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:40.839 YouTube and all the things. Maybe not so much TikTok 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:43.680 because I can't keep it all up. And whilst that 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:46.600 is all going on, I still misplace my phone in 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:49.320 the fridge more times than I like to admit. And 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:51.479 if you have been here before, thanks for letting me 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:54.360 disappear and then suddenly come back like nothing ever happened. 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:58.480 I have just loved this is episode two and I 0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:00.520 know that, but I have just loved so much being 0:01:00.560 --> 0:01:03.720 back in your ears and the response I've already had 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:06.560 from being back has been next level and I'm just 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.640 so so bloody grateful. I've been getting dms and all 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:11.520 the things, and I'm just so stoked to be back 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:15.000 in your ears every Monday with hacks routines talking all 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:18.440 things motherhood. Pretty much nothing is off limits, honestly. To 0:01:18.480 --> 0:01:21.360 celebrate the relaunch of the pod, I'm doing a giveaway 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:24.000 and I'm going to be doing this for the first 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:26.520 few episodes back. So all you have to do is 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:29.200 take a little photo or a video of you listening 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:31.880 to these episodes and pop it on Instagram and just 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:35.640 tag Stepping Up and my page, which is steph Pace Underscore, 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:39.760 and I'll be choosing one winner per episode, and each 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.640 winner will be drawn before the end of March, and 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:45.600 you will actually get one hundred dollars SPP voucher, which 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:47.800 is my brand staph Face Planners, and that's going to 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:50.720 really help you get organized. Look, and if you don't 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:53.680 win the prize, you're still going to get a prize 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:56.919 in this episode, which is a free download. And I'm 0:01:57.200 --> 0:01:59.760 really trying to hold your hand through this now. Look, 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:01.720 I know, oh it's like the end of February, but 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:05.320 if you're still feeling a little bit scattered this download 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:07.840 I'm giving you. It's like your guidebook to help you 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:11.160 get reset and just stop being so hard on yourself 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:13.880 as well. This is my realistic reset guide to the 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:15.840 New Year, which will also be linked in the show 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:18.640 notes below. Now, this episode is part of a mini 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:21.680 series I'm calling Mastering Your Messy Life, which yes, I 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:25.040 ripped straight from my book Mastering My Messy Life, which 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:27.240 you guys are absolutely loving and I'm so so proud 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:29.280 of that, and I just love seeing you guys taging 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:31.600 me and all that too. Now, this episode is for 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:33.040 you if you felt like this year has been a 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:35.840 bit of a shit show and not at all like 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:38.000 you had imagined. We know what it's like the start 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:40.000 of a new year and you feel like yep, new year, 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:43.800 knew me. And then you get to January tewod and 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:46.720 it turns to shit. You've been trying to get back 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:49.120 on track with like your goals, your routines and habits 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:53.760 and nothing sticking. Well, this episode is a must for you. Now. 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:55.880 I'm going to be covering a lot of eye opening 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:58.320 things with you in this episode, and I can guarantee 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:01.160 you by the end you will be crystal clear on 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:05.640 what your happiest life looks like, and also your happiest self, 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:09.520 and that's also in terms of health success and just 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:13.120 living as your authentic self. And also how to know 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:16.400 when to pivot when your goals and routines don't really 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:20.040 align anymore, because that happens now before we get into it, 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:23.560 here's a quick life update, because there's always things going on, 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.000 Like you know when people you see people when you 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:28.520 bump into them like wool worse, and it could be 0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:29.840 someone who went to school with and you're like, oh, 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:31.440 what have you been up to? And you both just 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:34.800 go not much, but actually, like that's actual bullshit, Like 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:38.280 you know, your kid broke the TV this morning, and 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:40.560 you know, you feel like everyone hates you if you're 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:43.440 someone like me and you're just an overthinker and you 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:45.680 know you're late on emails and all the things happening 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:48.800 and you just still say, yeah, yeah, not much, not much, 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:53.120 but my life is falling apart. So my intention for 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:56.320 this year is I want to edit my life. And 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:59.120 what I mean by that is I want to really 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:02.320 just look at my life life like zoom out and 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:05.120 then see what parts of it I want to delete, 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:07.760 Like maybe some bad habits and things like that, like 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:11.560 me scrolling and buying stupid kitchen appliances that I don't 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:15.360 actually need, and just deleting the things that aren't serving 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:18.800 me anymore. But also you know, duplicating or copy pasting 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.800 the areas that make me feel good. So so one 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:24.160 thing I really wanted to do, like a year ago, 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:26.240 was to get back into the hobbies and things that 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:28.440 just you know, eight year old me would have loved 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:30.680 to have done. So I started playing guitar this year. 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:33.440 I started sorry, last year, so I've been doing it 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:35.600 for a year now. So I started last January, and 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:38.359 I've loved it, like I've always wanted to play guitar. 0:04:38.520 --> 0:04:40.760 And what I think sparked that was, you know the 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.640 movie Freaky Friday. I loved that movie. It's got Lindsay Lohan. 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:46.360 They recently, like a few months ago now, they brought 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:49.240 out number two, Freaky of Friday, and it's got Jamie 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:51.760 Lee Curtis, and it's just you know, Chad Michael Murray 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:55.680 who's still beautiful and is so like some guy like 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:57.960 men just get better with age, isn't it. It's just 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:02.000 wild anyway, So that sparked me into wanting to play guitar, 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:03.839 but I was never able to. So I went and 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.960 got myself a guitar, and I even started going to 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.159 guitar lessons on Tuesdays, and I loved it so much. 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:12.400 And my goal was to be able to play Wonder War, 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:15.840 which I can now play. Maybe not well, but I 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:19.080 can play it, so that's good. So doing things more 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:22.520 like that, and even editing things down to my wardrobe. 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:24.640 I've done a big wardrobe edit where I've just cold 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:27.880 a whole bunch of things that you know, maybe now 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:29.960 they've really gotten into my color season. If you guys 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:32.680 know about that, there's like autumn, summer, spring, and winter, 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:34.800 and they're the colors that like suit you and you're 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:38.560 coloring and things like that. I fully hyperfixiated on this 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:41.280 for like a month, guys, but it has changed my life. 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:43.479 It's taken me to be thirty five years old to 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:46.480 figure out what colors suit me, and it just really 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.880 helps because they work together. Anyway I should do. I 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:53.000 want to actually interview a color specialist, which I know, 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:54.760 a lovely lady. I'm going to do that, so we'll 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:57.400 do a whole other episode. But it has actually changed 0:05:57.440 --> 0:06:00.520 my life, so I just really want to like simplify life, 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:02.880 edit it down cul a lot of things, and just 0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:06.000 try to make it have less resistance, Like even like 0:06:06.120 --> 0:06:10.000 day to day tasks that I always have to like 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:12.600 I struggle with. So, for example, with my business, I 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:14.600 do a lot of things on Canva, which is like 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:18.359 a graphic design website if you guys haven't heard of 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:21.680 it before, And I have so many photos loaded in there, 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:23.200 and every time I try to make a post, it 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.040 literally will take me hours just to find a photo. 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:27.560 And I'm like, why haven't I just fixed this problem 0:06:27.680 --> 0:06:30.039 and sorted it into albums so I could have photos 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:33.839 from like motherhood, photos from Stefan's planets, like that type 0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:35.520 of thing, and it would make it so much faster. 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:37.880 But I still keep like touching the hot stove like 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:41.520 Bart Simpson anyway, things like that. I could go on 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:44.760 about that forever. So just really simplifying my life, editing 0:06:44.800 --> 0:06:47.680 it down. And in other news, our house is moving 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:51.920 along and we recently got grass in the backyard. Now 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:55.360 I know this sounds odd, but we've had just dirt 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:58.720 dirt for years, and you know, first of all problems, 0:06:58.720 --> 0:07:00.760 but we can touch grass now. Even the kids were 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:02.800 like mam, we've got grass. It was so exciting, So 0:07:02.800 --> 0:07:05.159 we're excited we can touch grass now. And you know, 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:06.919 the kids have started a new year at school, so 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.880 we're just navigating those things and just getting them settled. 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:13.320 On that note, though, I have to say, I remember 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:15.239 when I was a kid and we had to start 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:18.120 a new year at school. We were just like day one, 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:19.960 You're just thrown in the classroom. You don't know who 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:22.120 teacher is, you don't know who you're with, and then 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:24.200 you just deal with it. Whereas now, which I love, like, 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:26.880 I love this for my kids, they have a whole 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:30.440 the whole first week back, they slowly like integrate them back, 0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:32.120 so they go back to their old classroom with their 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:35.200 old teacher, and then they slowly put them into the 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:37.720 new one. I'm like, oh, that's nice. What's that like? 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:41.320 At least we can say we're resilient. Okay, but yes, 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:43.080 that's pretty much what's going on in my world at 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:45.880 the moment. But I'm going to stop upping because I 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:48.240 will sit here all day and do so. So this 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:51.360 episode is part two of mastering your Messy life. And 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:54.480 as I said, it is a realistic twenty twenty six 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:58.240 reset and in the last episode, I explained why I 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:01.480 tend to reset later in the year then you'd expect. 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:05.600 I don't believe in resetting in December or January. And yes, 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:08.240 it's literally pretty much March now, and that is okay 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:10.400 because you still got to just you need to walk 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:12.560 before you can run. You know, we're trying to just 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:16.000 diffuse from you know, the holiday season and getting back 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:18.200 into the swing of things, getting back into our routines. 0:08:19.000 --> 0:08:21.800 And I explain why that is so important. And I 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:24.440 also took you through a reflection in the first episode, 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:27.720 and which is also looking in your review mirror, because 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:30.120 before you can drive forward, you need to look back 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:32.319 behind you at all the potholes and the U turns 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:34.640 and the wrong turns you've made to see how you 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:38.880 can move forward, because it's kind of just like driving 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:42.240 with a blindfold, which I don't recommend. I also covered 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:45.319 my little thing I do with habits so stop, start 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:47.920 and stick with, so habits to stop, habits to start, 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:50.880 and habits to stick with, And this is something this 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:52.960 episode and the next will actually really help you with 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:56.040 as well. And I also shared my simple three day 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:59.080 reset itinery if you're feeling really, really behind. So it's 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:00.960 just three days and I lay it out for you 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.280 exactly what to do to feel like you've caught up 0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:05.040 a little bit. So if you haven't listened to that, 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:08.760 definitely go back and have a listen now today, As 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:10.680 I said, I'm going to get you crystal clear on 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:14.040 what your happiest self looks like. And I know, like, 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:16.280 this is just an exercise that I came up with 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:18.360 a couple of years ago now, but it has actually 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:21.480 changed my life and something I revisit whenever I'm feeling 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:24.960 a little bit lost or stuck. And that's usually because 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:27.679 you've outgrown the past version of yourself. Like we are 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:30.320 always evolving and growing, and now, like I'm thirty five 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:32.360 years old now and I think back to who I 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:35.640 was at thirty and it's just like I'm a different 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:40.040 human honestly, Thank God for that. And sometimes things what 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:43.400 you think you want change along the way, and that's okay. 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:45.440 And a lot of the time, if you set a 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:48.760 goal or you know you're striving towards something and then lady, 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:50.400 you're like, I don't want to do that anymore, but 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:52.520 you continue to do it because it's like that's what 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:54.720 we think we have to do because we don't want 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:58.280 others to perceive us as failing. And this kind of 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:00.520 relates back to a point I always make. You're not 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:05.320 actually afraid of failure. You're afraid of other people's perception 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:07.959 of you failing. So you're actually worried about what other 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:11.080 people think of you failing, not you actually failing, because 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:13.120 when you think about it, you go off and try 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:14.520 to do the thing. Maybe you try and start a 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:18.960 side hustle and maybe it doesn't work out. What's the 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:21.720 worst that can happen? You just go back to living 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:24.600 life as it was before, like nothing bad is going 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:28.120 to happen. So you're actually worried more so of other 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:31.400 people seeing it not work out. And that's like, you know, 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:36.640 that really has this chained to staying stuck to you know, 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.280 maybe the job you're in at the moment, or you know, 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:42.520 maybe you've started, you know, polarates and you actually blood 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:44.440 you hate polarates, and you're still going because you're just 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:47.800 scared of what your friends will think. This exercise is 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:50.600 going to get you so crystal clear on what your 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:53.720 happiest self looks like. You know, we always hear people 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:55.480 talking about your best self you know, I want to 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:57.880 be my best self. But for me and how my 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:02.239 brain works, my best self is calls perfect it's perfectionism, 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:03.840 and that's something I have a lot of issues with 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:06.200 because I and then asshole to myself. I have very 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:08.600 high expectations of myself, so I try to just be 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:11.360 really careful about the language we use. And yeah, sure, 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:14.440 best self, like the intention behind it is not bad. 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.760 It's about us trying to level up, I guess, but 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:21.000 for people like me who have perfectionism and all that, 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:23.400 it can be a little bit tricky. And I did 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:25.560 talk a lot about language and what we use, like 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:28.080 what language you use around ourselves and our life and 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:29.880 our goals and how important it is. And it's the 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:33.120 same with this. Now we need to do this exercise 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:36.760 because before we can decide on what habits, routines and 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:39.280 goals we want to go for, we need to do 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:42.360 the groundwork first. Otherwise it's like running in the dark 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:44.160 and it's not going to end well. Me running in 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:46.360 general just doesn't end well. I went for my first 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:50.280 run the other month, and honestly, I don't know what 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.040 came over me, but I did it. And you know, 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:55.040 if you did witness that I'm very sorry. If you 0:11:55.040 --> 0:11:57.240 thought I was dying, you would be correct and mind 0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:01.160 your business. Now. We do this is because otherwise you 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:03.520 might find yourself setting goals and then a couple months 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:05.920 later you ask yourself, why did I even want that? 0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:08.360 Like why? But anyways, we are doing this so we 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:11.080 can actually set goals that are for our happier self 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:13.880 and not for other people. It's kind of like when 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:17.280 you look back at our old photos from when you 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.840 used to go clubbing and you wore that disgusting dress 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:21.800 from Soupre and you had no eyebrows. That was a 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.160 good time, good time. So I do miss that, and 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:26.200 they are saying, you know, twenty twenty six is a 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:30.600 new two thousand and twenty sixteen for god Now. I 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:33.040 also mentioned in the last episode the filter you need 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:36.000 to apply. This is a filter or lens that you 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:38.440 need to apply to everything in your life. This is 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.160 to help you figure out if what you're currently like, 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:45.480 how you're currently showing up or doing or being or whatever, 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:49.040 if that's actually what you want. Now. The filter is 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:52.720 actually a question. Now, I want you to ask this 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:54.719 right now, when you you know, I want you to 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.160 zoom out on your life on who you are. And 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.920 I want you to ask, if no one was watching 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.400 or clapping me on, would I still be doing this 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:06.120 slash wanting this. Yeah, it can be pretty confronting. So 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.559 today we're not setting habits or goals for anyone else. 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:11.920 We're going to impress anyone else. We're doing that for ourselves. Now, 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:14.600 this is a visualization exercise, and it's not wu woo, 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:16.040 you know, like I want you to be woo woo, 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:18.800 but I'm not really, I'm not there. I need the 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:22.040 science with things and this is an amazing exercise to do. 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:25.640 So depending on what you're doing right now. If you're driving, 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.360 please keep your eyes open. If you're at home, I'd 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.160 like you to close your eyes. If you're driving, just 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:34.240 just picture it in your head. Now. I want you 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:36.560 to imagine you've just walked into a room and in 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:39.520 front of you there are three mirrors. I want you 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:42.280 to imagine that you're walking up to the first mirror, 0:13:42.920 --> 0:13:46.040 and the reflection you see in that first mirror is 0:13:46.240 --> 0:13:49.960 your healthiest self. Now, this is not the version of 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:53.080 you that you know. We might have grown up with thinking, 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:55.040 you know, with the Biggest Loser and the magazines we 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:58.760 saw with you know, celebrities with six packs and that 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:01.080 this is not your read self. This is not the 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:03.480 version of you that has a twelve pack. This is 0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:05.600 a version of you that takes rests when he or 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:09.040 she needs it. They're not someone that smashes themselves at 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:11.800 the gym when they're burnt out or tired. They're not 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:15.240 someone that restricts themselves. They move their body because it 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.600 makes them feel good. They move their body because it 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:19.520 makes them happy and it helps their mental health. They 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:22.920 don't just do it for looks. They're a person that 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:25.240 sleeps well at night, they have energy to keep up 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:28.880 with their family and kids. I want you to see 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:32.720 what that version of you is doing and how they 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:36.840 live their life. What's their fridge full of? What do 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:40.720 their days look like? How much do they rest and 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:43.360 what does their self talk sound like. Are they someone 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:46.440 that puts themselves down if they miss a day or 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:48.640 do they just you know, next day they go straight 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:51.400 back at it. What do they do? What do they 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:53.080 do to move their body? What do they do to 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.560 make themselves feel good? What do they eat? And again, 0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:58.360 this is not about this is not the version of 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:00.640 you that restricts themselves. This is a of you that 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:03.680 just has the energy, They have the patience, they have 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:08.600 the compassion towards themselves, and they're realistic as well. Now 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.240 you walk up to the second mirror, and in that 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:16.440 mirror you see your most successful self. And just remember 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:21.560 success looks different on everybody. This version of you is 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.800 living success by their own means of what it means 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.560 to them. Maybe for this version of you, it's a 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:31.080 balanced between work and family. Maybe it's being present to 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:35.040 raise your kids. It doesn't always mean titles or working 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:39.200 crazy hours. It doesn't even mean the paychecks you get. 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.520 But maybe for you, it could be this version of 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:45.880 you could possibly be choosing themselves after some hard relationships. 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:49.320 Maybe they started a new business or a new hobby. 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.560 This version of you is so proud of themselves and 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:55.600 they don't doubt themselves because they're just showing up no 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:58.960 matter what. They're fulfilled in what they do and they 0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:03.760 don't care about what anyone else thinks. So for me personally, 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:08.080 with this one, success for me is being able to 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:11.000 provide for my family, but I am present with my family. 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:16.600 It's being able to live slowly. So just remember with 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:21.400 this one, especially, make sure whatever you see you ask yourself, 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:25.080 if no one was watching, would I still want this? Now? 0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:27.720 How is your most successful self living day to day? 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:32.400 What are they doing? How do they feel? Are they 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:36.160 living slowly or are they rushing? And how do they 0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:38.320 feel at the end of each day when their head 0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:42.040 hits the pillow. Do they feel proud of themselves? Do 0:16:42.080 --> 0:16:48.240 they feel fulfilled? Are they excited for the next day? Now, 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:50.360 I want you to walk over to the third mirror, 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:54.400 and when you reach that mirror, you see your truest self. 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:59.080 And this is a version of you before society, judgment 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:01.800 and expectations formed you and what you think you should 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:05.680 be doing. This is your unapologetic self. They don't compare 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:08.119 themselves to others. They don't compare themselves to the version 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:11.439 of you years ago. What are they doing? What's your 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:15.399 truest self doing? What does she enjoy? Is she trying 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:19.600 new things every day? Maybe she's also starting guitar. Think 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:21.959 about how she feels and how she's with her friends 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:26.920 and family and even at work. Especially, think about how 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:31.800 her brain sounds, how she talks to herself, what she 0:17:31.800 --> 0:17:35.359 tells herself. Does she hype herself up? What does she 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:38.880 tear herself down? Now I want you to imagine you're 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:43.040 turning around to leave this room and behind you, you 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.639 look down and there is your six year old self 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:49.560 looking up at you. She's looking at you in absolute 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:53.600 awe for all the things you've done so far. Now, 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:55.439 I want you to tell your younger self all the 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:59.040 amazing things you've overcome, all the things you've done, and 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:01.560 all the hardships you face, but you still got through 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:05.359 and you're still standing here today. Give your little self 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:08.520 a hug, because you know what, she's so bloody proud 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:10.320 of you, and she thinks she was so fucking cool, 0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:14.800 and I think you forget that now. I want you 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:16.719 to open your eyes or continue to drive if you're 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:20.000 driving now. I know that exercise can feel a little 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:22.960 bit confronting, especially when you see your younger self. I 0:18:23.040 --> 0:18:26.240 know whenever you do anything like even seeing photos of 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:28.400 your younger self. And there was an AI trend where 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:31.760 everyone was making themselves now holding their younger self, which 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:33.960 is what I did. It just gets you, It really 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:37.680 gets you. But the reason why it's important to think 0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:40.520 of your six year old self is because it gives 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:44.520 you that distance from you now and when you look 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:47.320 back at your younger self. You see the gap in 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:49.720 between ages and just all the things you've done and 0:18:49.760 --> 0:18:53.000 overcome in the middle, and with that it actually gives 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:58.080 you the permission to feel proud of yourself. You know, 0:18:58.119 --> 0:18:59.960 we have a lot of tall Poppy syndrome and austral 0:19:00.240 --> 0:19:02.760 which is really really hard and it makes us uncomfortable 0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:05.280 to sit with our own achievements and success because it 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:07.680 makes us think, oh, I have a big head or 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:10.320 you know, you just you're full of yourself. But that's 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:14.639 not the truth. And I think for me myself, like 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:18.879 I have, you know, even this podcast, like there's so 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:22.960 many things I've managed to achieve by just just showing 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:25.600 up even when it was scary or hard, and just 0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:29.080 because I'm just following what I'm passionate about. But because 0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:31.400 with the nature of who I am, I'm always moving 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:34.640 the goalpost. So when I reach a goal, I'm never 0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:37.680 still long enough to actually feel proud or to feel 0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:40.679 it because I'm already focused on the next goal. And 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:43.479 it's so important that we learn to slow down and 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:47.600 just allow ourselves to be proud. Now, what I hope 0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:50.400 you've gained out of this exercise is clarity and also 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:54.760