Speaker 1: Good a team. Welcome back to part two of the
Speaker 1: Conversation with the Lovely Leila and I. If you haven't
Speaker 1: listened to part one, you might want to go back
Speaker 1: and do that, or you could just jump in. Of
Speaker 1: course they're different, they're different subjects, but probably this to
Speaker 1: part one and then this hope you enjoy it? Ready,
Speaker 1: set go, all right, let's let's open another door. Tell
Speaker 1: us about farmer once a while? Do you get sick of?
Speaker 1: Do you get sick of? Like when I read all
Speaker 1: the shit that you've done, I'm like, how do I
Speaker 1: make this not the same?
Speaker 2: How?
Speaker 1: Like? Oh, so you know, tell us about your experience
Speaker 1: on like whatever you want to tell us or not
Speaker 1: tell us. I guess we can't talk to you. We
Speaker 1: can't have a chat with at least mentioning that because
Speaker 1: my audience is going to want to know a little bit.
Speaker 1: Did you love it? Did you hate it? Was it
Speaker 1: a fucking nightmare? How do you reflect upon it now?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It was? It was a really freaking weird experience. Like
Speaker 3: and I was a baby when I was on it.
Speaker 4: I was twenty one, like I've had you know, my
Speaker 4: emotional intelligence was shitz.
Speaker 1: How old are you now?
Speaker 3: I'm thirty six.
Speaker 1: Okay, wow, that was a while ago.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, it was a while ago. And I went
Speaker 3: on it.
Speaker 4: My dad said he disowned me if I went on it,
Speaker 4: which is hilarious. And I really thought, oh shit, I
Speaker 4: shouldn't do it. But my nan was the one that
Speaker 4: actually convinced me to do it, and she's been, you know,
Speaker 4: a huge role model in my life. But she said,
Speaker 4: what's the best lesson you're ever going to get in life?
Speaker 3: Experience?
Speaker 4: So why not go and do it and experience and
Speaker 4: you'll you'll learn from it. So I was like, oh, okay, Radio,
Speaker 4: I'll go do it.
Speaker 3: And it was Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think it was probably one of the most emotional
Speaker 4: traumatizing experiences of my life.
Speaker 1: Really, ah good. I'm glad I opened the door.
Speaker 4: How so well because I was just so impressionable, like
Speaker 4: and I just remember the first time because I didn't
Speaker 4: my best.
Speaker 3: Friend nominated me for it, put me in for it.
Speaker 4: So my same best friend that I grew up through
Speaker 4: school and she's on the Australian story with me, like
Speaker 4: we've been best friend since.
Speaker 1: I one that facilitated your cheating. Let's be honest.
Speaker 3: No, it wasn't cheating. She just put my name down.
Speaker 1: No, No, I mean the one at school who used
Speaker 1: to the answer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Sorry, oh that kind of cheating.
Speaker 3: Ah h yeah, that kind of cheating. Yeah, she Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I thought I'll go on it.
Speaker 4: And I remember seeing the person who i'd been matched with,
Speaker 4: the farmer, walking down the stairs. That's the first time
Speaker 4: I'd ever seen him, and like, I just thought to
Speaker 4: myself instantly, my inter like your intuition just said to me,
Speaker 4: you don't like him, like he's.
Speaker 3: Not for you.
Speaker 4: But somehow the whole experience, they convinced me that I
Speaker 4: did because they'd already pre constructed a story for the show,
Speaker 4: because we were going to be like a kind of
Speaker 4: happily ever after couple.
Speaker 1: Hang on, how on? How on? So are you telling
Speaker 1: me that they choreographed that and that's got to be
Speaker 1: the outcome?
Speaker 3: Basically yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: And you know, I don't know if that's how they
Speaker 4: still do it now or whatever, but it's Saint God,
Speaker 4: it wasn't before, like it was all before social media
Speaker 4: for me, because like we would have been eaten alive
Speaker 4: really because he picks me at the end. But we
Speaker 4: were never we were never a couple, Like I went
Speaker 4: and hung out with him for a week or so
Speaker 4: between to see, you know what, you know, if we
Speaker 4: were compatible, and we.
Speaker 3: Just clearly weren't. We were never going to be anything.
Speaker 4: Like he was a really party, party kind of guy,
Speaker 4: and and I just, yeah, am not like I don't
Speaker 4: get me wrong, I love a good time, but I wasn't.
Speaker 4: I couldn't keep up with his level.
Speaker 1: Of partying, right, and.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then I was just you know, he was
Speaker 4: he's not a farmer now, Like he grew up on
Speaker 4: a farm and we were. It was on his parents' farm, right,
Speaker 4: I mean his sisters and her partner actually are the
Speaker 4: you know, ones that run the farm. So a lot
Speaker 4: of these farmers that are on Farmer Wants a Wife,
Speaker 4: they're not actually farmers. They've they're probably using someone else's
Speaker 4: farm or Yeah, it's kind of a bit you so interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, calling back to Curtains, so many disappointed people.
Speaker 4: No, like on a few episodes ago or seasons ago,
Speaker 4: he was a builder and he wasn't he They just
Speaker 4: put him on a farm and made him look like
Speaker 4: a farmer. So like, I think they need to kind
Speaker 4: of change the title to country Boy Wants a wife,
Speaker 4: not farmer, just like getting country boys that aren't you know,
Speaker 4: they can and some.
Speaker 3: Of them have even like that have ended up together.
Speaker 4: They've actually stopped working in agriculture and they've moved to
Speaker 4: the city to be with the person that they've ended
Speaker 4: up with. So yeah, and they took all of our
Speaker 4: phones off as while we were filming, so I couldn't
Speaker 4: really contact anyone to sort of run what was going
Speaker 4: through my head with someone else, to sort.
Speaker 3: Of clarify what I was feeling was relevant or a
Speaker 3: different thing. So yeah, it was a very very interesting experience.
Speaker 4: But then had I not gone on it, I wouldn't
Speaker 4: have then gone home the day after we wrapped and
Speaker 4: had our you know, rap party and everything and met
Speaker 4: my now husband.
Speaker 3: So from all things, something good comes.
Speaker 4: And I made some really good friends out of it,
Speaker 4: Like I ended up living with one of the other
Speaker 4: like a contestant on the film after in Geelong and
Speaker 4: different things. So yeah, some great things have come out
Speaker 4: of it.
Speaker 1: It seems like it's sure and your husband, isn't it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you and him are really different, really different, and I
Speaker 1: think that's maybe that's part, not all, but part of
Speaker 1: the magic.
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, Yeah, like he's he's quite happy being here
Speaker 4: on the farm, and you know, he's sixth generation here
Speaker 4: and he doesn't mind me going and living and.
Speaker 3: Traveling the world and doing things.
Speaker 4: And he's just you know, he's played at the same
Speaker 4: footy club his whole life. And yeah, so we're very different.
Speaker 4: He doesn't say a lot, and I say too much.
Speaker 1: I was surprised to hear. Now, we can cut any
Speaker 1: of this out, but let's just keep rolling. But I
Speaker 1: was surprised to hear. Was I surprised, not majorly, but
Speaker 1: a little bit surprised here because you're so happy, go lucky,
Speaker 1: so you know, cheerful. You're probably not a complete extrovert,
Speaker 1: but you seem like you are. That you suffered from
Speaker 1: anxiety and depression or you do periodically, and you were
Speaker 1: I don't know if you were or still are medicated.
Speaker 1: And tell us as much or as little as you
Speaker 1: want to about that, Leila, because I think that's kind
Speaker 1: of broadly relevant, broadly relevant.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I guess I'm probably an introvert disguised as
Speaker 4: an extrovert, Like you really know me. I actually I
Speaker 4: probably like I shouldn't say it, but like I hate people,
Speaker 4: I like my own company. I like my horses. That's
Speaker 4: my meditation time. But I don't find it hard to
Speaker 4: match other people's energy, you know. And I don't drink,
Speaker 4: so I don't. I haven't drank for probably seven years now.
Speaker 1: Wow, I reckon, you're I reckon. You're an ambivert. Have
Speaker 1: you ever heard of that? No?
Speaker 3: What's that?
Speaker 1: An ambivert is someone who can I reckon. That's me
Speaker 1: as well. It's like I can do both. I can
Speaker 1: do what we're doing. I can talk to you, I
Speaker 1: can or I can stay for three days in my
Speaker 1: house by myself and just write shit and study and
Speaker 1: go out and get a coffee, come home. I don't
Speaker 1: need to talk to anyone. It's like you can do both.
Speaker 1: But you're probably leaning. You know. The funny thing about
Speaker 1: introversion extraversion, it's really a scale and it's not like
Speaker 1: most people are clearly an introvert or clearly an extrovert.
Speaker 1: But I think you, yeah, you're probably closer. Especially I
Speaker 1: was listening to the when you won that award. You
Speaker 1: were terrified to go up and accept like apparently you
Speaker 1: were terrified of public speaking. Well that's that's introversion.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, And I sort of a way that I
Speaker 4: pushed myself to get over that that terrified of being
Speaker 4: a being in public and people looking at me. And
Speaker 4: if he's like I was just sort of kid that
Speaker 4: would walk into a shop and if I couldn't find something,
Speaker 4: I'd rather walk out.
Speaker 3: Thank some arks for where it was.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: So when I moved to Sydney for UNI, I knew
Speaker 4: how to get to UNI the shop, like the grocery store,
Speaker 4: work and home, and that was it. I didn't go
Speaker 4: off that path for like six months because it was
Speaker 4: that was my comfort zone. And then I thought, I'm
Speaker 4: not going to get anywhere doing this. How do I
Speaker 4: really throw it? And I'm one of those crazy people
Speaker 4: now because I just got such a thrill out of it.
Speaker 3: Throwing myself in the deep end.
Speaker 4: And I wouldn't suggest this be for everyone because it's
Speaker 4: kind of like a bit frowned upon now. But I
Speaker 4: got into modeling and particularly sports and bikini modeling.
Speaker 1: Wow wow.
Speaker 4: And if I could get up on stage in front
Speaker 4: of people and beauty pageants, if I could get up
Speaker 4: on stage in front of people and walk around and
Speaker 4: start to just forget about the fact that people were
Speaker 4: looking at me, I was like I can do anything.
Speaker 4: And that's how I broke down that barrier of just
Speaker 4: being so terrified of people seeing me and looking at me.
Speaker 4: It was just going, okay, well, if I can't get
Speaker 4: up on stage and talk about people, I'm going to
Speaker 4: go like to the.
Speaker 3: Extreme and I'm going to be on stage in a bikini.
Speaker 1: Wow. When did you now? I know? Correct me if
Speaker 1: I'm wrong, because I'm recalling I think two thy and
Speaker 1: seventeen y one Missus Australia. Firstly, what is missus Australia.
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, no, that's funny.
Speaker 4: So I'd done a few pageants with friends before that
Speaker 4: when I was in Sydney, because it's just fun. Everyone
Speaker 4: loves to get dressed up and get in address and
Speaker 4: wear makeup and look pretty like we're all doing it.
Speaker 4: It was like, it's kind of thing at my girlfriend's
Speaker 4: and I do just because we could.
Speaker 1: It was just too But that's just Saturdays. But we'll
Speaker 1: get to it later.
Speaker 3: Yeah. But yeah.
Speaker 4: Then when I started the my husband, I started our
Speaker 4: non for profit. We're trying to work out ways of
Speaker 4: getting it into the media and promoting mental health in
Speaker 4: farming communities, and I thought this is good of a
Speaker 4: platform as any I know how to speak now, like
Speaker 4: I've done it before, how can we do it? So
Speaker 4: I entered missus Australia and like I'd never won anything
Speaker 4: before because I'm not as poised and as professional as
Speaker 4: all the other girls. And yeah, probably accidentally drop the
Speaker 4: F bomb in a speech somewhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you probably shouldn't wear those RM Williams on stage.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's going to be a handicap.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well yeah, but then it was very Australian and that's
Speaker 4: why they picked me because I was what they see
Speaker 4: the quin Central Australia.
Speaker 3: My accent paid off for once.
Speaker 1: Excuse my ignorance, But is it What I was going
Speaker 1: to say, is that a beauty pageant is what is
Speaker 1: it judged on? That's a much better question.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So it's more judged on your platform that you speak
Speaker 4: on behalf and how well you promote it and how
Speaker 4: well you advocate for it, because they want to help.
Speaker 4: It's a platform to try and get attention for your platform.
Speaker 4: And I think again it comes back to authenticity, Like
Speaker 4: I just didn't go and pick a charity because I
Speaker 4: wanted to do the competition. I had my cause and
Speaker 4: went and did the competition because I need I wanted
Speaker 4: to promote what we were doing.
Speaker 1: So yell us about that. What is You're not for profit?
Speaker 4: So it's called Live Rural And it kind of all
Speaker 4: just started when we wanted to run an event to
Speaker 4: bring people together in our little farming community. So we
Speaker 4: started an event called Mellow in the Yellow. Hence I
Speaker 4: love yellow. It's my favorite color since I.
Speaker 1: Saw that great, big, that big square where everyone, yeah,
Speaker 1: in the middle of all of that what are those
Speaker 1: Excuse my ignorance, what are those yellow flowers called? Again? Well,
Speaker 1: that's fucking that image. When I was looking at them,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is that? And II lean and I went,
Speaker 1: how gorgeous is that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And like, so explain to people what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So it's like we growkenola on the farm or in
Speaker 4: this district we have it, so it's on a different
Speaker 4: farm every year, and it's quite a lot of planning
Speaker 4: because whoever's going to host it, they've got to make
Speaker 4: a square in the middle of their canola crop where
Speaker 4: we're going to have a lawn. And when the canole
Speaker 4: in flower in October, we put a marquee in the
Speaker 4: middle of it. We get a band, we bust everyone
Speaker 4: to and from the event. It's free drinks and food
Speaker 4: for the day, and we have a guest speaker come
Speaker 4: and speak about mental health and the importance of you know,
Speaker 4: looking after our mental health in farming communities because it's
Speaker 4: such a busy, you know, labor intensive, demanding lifestyle, and
Speaker 4: a not a lot of farmers have time to sort
Speaker 4: of take time and in that time, like we're in now,
Speaker 4: we're in drought, Like my husband's gone at five o'clock
Speaker 4: in the morning and doesn't come into like eleven twelve
Speaker 4: at night. They're the times when we need they need help,
Speaker 4: but not necessarily help because they're suffering mentally. It's just
Speaker 4: the fatigue that then has a flow on effect to
Speaker 4: your mental health, or even just the financial pressure that
Speaker 4: then flows onto your mental health. So getting them all
Speaker 4: off farm in one place to enjoy themselves and celebrate
Speaker 4: the amazing work that farmers do while kind of also
Speaker 4: reminding them, you know, take a little bit of time
Speaker 4: to look after your mental health as well.
Speaker 1: This is maybe a weird question, but what is the
Speaker 1: attraction like from the outside, Like I grew up in
Speaker 1: the country, not on a farm but near farm, so
Speaker 1: I kind of get it. And my mum literally grew
Speaker 1: up on a farm, so I'm a little bit more
Speaker 1: familiar with it. But what's the attraction because it just
Speaker 1: seems like being a farmer just seems like yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: like fuck, it's so hard and like what you just discribe.
Speaker 1: My husband leaves at five, gets home sometimes at midnight.
Speaker 1: Well that's seventeen hours. Some people do that in a week.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I've like, you know, I've always thought, you know,
Speaker 4: it's an identity, You're born to be a farmer, all
Speaker 4: that sort of thing. And it's so now that I've
Speaker 4: got a son, and my son is just it is
Speaker 4: in his DNA, Like I can't I can't explain it
Speaker 4: the way he knows things that at nine year old
Speaker 4: shouldn't know like it should but it's just instinctively give
Speaker 4: me an ex so like just how to like when
Speaker 4: we're getting the sheep in, he just knows where to.
Speaker 3: Move, how to move around them.
Speaker 4: Or is just he's like even just with his toys,
Speaker 4: like he doesn't play with any other toys except farm toys,
Speaker 4: and he's setting up his own farm with toys, and
Speaker 4: he knows where he systematically knows where he's got to
Speaker 4: put everything so it economically works properly.
Speaker 3: And it's just all he thinks, dreams does.
Speaker 4: Like, it's just you're like, wow, okay, it's in his
Speaker 4: DNA to be a fan.
Speaker 1: Well, isn't your husband a sixth generation farmer?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, so my husbands I'm pretty.
Speaker 1: Sure he's going to be generation seven.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah. And like if you were doing if you
Speaker 3: were a farmer, for the money, you you you just
Speaker 3: wouldn't do it. There's no money in it. You do
Speaker 3: it because they love it and it's their identity.
Speaker 4: And I think that's what a lot of older farmers
Speaker 4: struggle with is when the son comes home takes on
Speaker 4: the farm, It's like, what is their identity now? Because
Speaker 4: they've always they'd rather a dead farmer than be a
Speaker 4: human being not farming.
Speaker 1: Wow. Wow, that is a profound they'd rather be a
Speaker 1: dead farmer than not a farmer or what So when
Speaker 1: you've grown up, obviously you had your own. By the way,
Speaker 1: are you still good to keep going for a while?
Speaker 1: Are you ghausted? Are you sick of me?
Speaker 3: I'm good? How long we've been here?
Speaker 1: We've been here an hour?
Speaker 3: Good?
Speaker 1: Good, we're gone, all right, We're going all right. You
Speaker 1: got those good bloody country jeans. Energy. So when you're
Speaker 1: grown up as a kid, I mean there were peaks
Speaker 1: and troughs, there were good days and bad days, there
Speaker 1: were struggles.
Speaker 3: And we were talking about yeah, my medication.
Speaker 1: Well, no, I want to know in terms of now
Speaker 1: you're a mum, now you've got your own kids, do
Speaker 1: you do you have a particular parenting style or does
Speaker 1: the way that you experience life as a kid does
Speaker 1: that influence how much you lean in and how much
Speaker 1: you get out of the way with your kids development?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess I want my kids to grow up
Speaker 4: being kids, Like I don't want to expose them to
Speaker 4: the world that you know, kids grow up in now
Speaker 4: too much. I just want them to be able to
Speaker 4: play and be innocent. And we're very lucky where we
Speaker 4: live that with like we'd called what you call a
Speaker 4: bush school. It's still a normal primary school, but it's
Speaker 4: a bush school. There's only like twenty eight in the
Speaker 4: whole primary school, and we're you know, they're out of town.
Speaker 4: All the kids know each other, they all play together,
Speaker 4: They've got chucks and you know, all these other things
Speaker 4: they play in the sandpit like the year six kids
Speaker 4: are still kids. They you know, Santa Claus hasn't been
Speaker 4: ruined for my kids because the bigger kids know that.
Speaker 4: You know, we all we all believe in Santa like
Speaker 4: to be a nine year old and still fully believe
Speaker 4: those little elves are real. Like it's beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
Speaker 4: Not only nine year olds still believe that those little
Speaker 4: elves are real. I want them to just be like,
Speaker 4: you know, we we don't. My kids don't have an
Speaker 4: iPad each. We've got like their school tablet, but that
Speaker 4: when they get home from school, Like, that's not They're
Speaker 4: allowed an hour on the TV a day.
Speaker 3: That's it.
Speaker 4: Other than that, they've got to be outside playing or
Speaker 4: helping us, or in their room playing Like I just
Speaker 4: don't like this whole idea of devices. And you know,
Speaker 4: some people say, oh, you're putting your kids at a
Speaker 4: disadvantage because they're not, you know, learning how to use
Speaker 4: the devices. Trust me, when they want to use it,
Speaker 4: they'll they'll learn it pretty quick.
Speaker 1: Really, people say that that you that is such a
Speaker 1: fucking weird perspective to say that you are disadvantaging your
Speaker 1: kid when you have a look at the evidence for
Speaker 1: what's going on with mental health and screen addiction and
Speaker 1: fuck and hell, there's so much there's so much tough
Speaker 1: stuff going on at the minute with kids, and.
Speaker 4: And just knowing that mental health is in my family
Speaker 4: and my husband's side of the family genetically, that we
Speaker 4: need to be more aware of it with our kids.
Speaker 4: So that like, and that's where I was really lucky
Speaker 4: that my dad was really open about his mental health
Speaker 4: when we were kids. Like I remember going to horse
Speaker 4: events in the truck, and you know, we'd be sitting
Speaker 4: in the truck with dad driving, and we'd just talk
Speaker 4: about the world and you know, all these the questions
Speaker 4: we'd fire at my dad, like you know, about the
Speaker 4: universe and oh there are aliens. And we'd have deep
Speaker 4: philosophical conversations with my dad, and then he'd talk about,
Speaker 4: you know, his mental health and how you know, he'd
Speaker 4: like he ran away when he was twenty one because
Speaker 4: he just couldn't handle the pressure of life and he
Speaker 4: just one day just got on a bus and just
Speaker 4: went to wa to clear his head.
Speaker 3: And how he just always.
Speaker 4: Said, you've got to look after your head because in
Speaker 4: like his era, it was you were crazy if you
Speaker 4: had something, you know he had and he was just
Speaker 4: and I think he's just problem was that he was
Speaker 4: just so self aware and people around him weren't.
Speaker 1: Now, am I right? And remembering your dad has bipolar
Speaker 1: and got diagnosed a while ago, Am I right?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, but he's a height like I guess he's been
Speaker 4: like that's what they've labeled him as. But he's a
Speaker 4: highly functioning, normal person. Like if you met him, it's
Speaker 4: like me, you think I'm like a happy, bubbly person,
Speaker 4: Like no one would ever know Dad's the same. No
Speaker 4: one would ever Like, I think no one really knew
Speaker 4: until the Australian story came out in our hometown why
Speaker 4: dad stopped drinking at age thirty five.
Speaker 3: They just thought he just made his random decision to
Speaker 3: stop drinking.
Speaker 1: But he seems really good now. See he's like on
Speaker 1: the Austrains, seemed great, like switched on, Like, yeah, you're right,
Speaker 1: you would not have a clue.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: What I loved about your dad is he goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I reckon, I'm I'm about ninety eight percent right, I'm
Speaker 1: about about ninety eight percent good, And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah good. I wish I wish my number was that.
Speaker 4: High God who knows. My dad just thought that was
Speaker 4: a piss because they're like, you're about fifty percent ching.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, yeah, you're getting ahead of yourself chair absent.
Speaker 1: But you tell the world that if you want to.
Speaker 3: But yeah, and.
Speaker 1: What about what about you now? Because I mean, you
Speaker 1: have to be a mum, you have to be a
Speaker 1: business woman, you have to be a wife, you have
Speaker 1: to be a daughter, You've got to be this you know,
Speaker 1: business person. How do you like, what do you need
Speaker 1: to do for you to manage you to look after
Speaker 1: you mentally, emotionally, physically.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and sometimes I probably don't manage it the best,
Speaker 4: like I sort of you know, Dad always said to us,
Speaker 4: you know, if you've got to play sport, because that's
Speaker 4: how your release a like that was my dad's answer.
Speaker 4: Just sport, play sport, physical, get it all out and
Speaker 4: keep your brain, keep your brain busy, because when your
Speaker 4: brain's not busy, that's when you start to go down
Speaker 4: a hole and think about things and not you know,
Speaker 4: logically start going what's my purpose?
Speaker 3: Like what am I doing with my life? So to
Speaker 3: keep busy was his answer.
Speaker 4: And sometimes I don't manage that very well because I
Speaker 4: do get myself too busy, and I can kind of
Speaker 4: get to a point of like I need a rest,
Speaker 4: I'm burning out. But I do need to be busy
Speaker 4: and have something happening all the time. It's just I've
Speaker 4: got to get better at managing how busy and asking
Speaker 4: for help from people to come in and help me.
Speaker 4: So now I'm actually starting to build a team of
Speaker 4: people around me that I can be like, Okay, I
Speaker 4: can't do everything, can you do this job for me now,
Speaker 4: or you know, instead of just thinking I can do
Speaker 4: everything on my own. But yeah, keeping that busy, but
Speaker 4: I do need my time away from everything, and that's
Speaker 4: my horses. And as you know, cliches that might sound
Speaker 4: like they're my meditation, because when I'm riding a horse,
Speaker 4: I can't have any other distractions. I can't be on
Speaker 4: my phone when I'm riding a horse, I can't be
Speaker 4: thinking about something else. I've just got to be with
Speaker 4: that horse present in that moment because it has its
Speaker 4: own brain as well, and I have to be ready
Speaker 4: for whatever it throws at me at the same time.
Speaker 4: So that's just my sort of switch off time, and
Speaker 4: I you know, in an ideal world, i'd love to
Speaker 4: ride every day, but at the moment, I'm just a
Speaker 4: bit too busy, So I try and get two or
Speaker 4: three rides in a week, Right, I can go. And
Speaker 4: I guess that's what meditation is for some people, and
Speaker 4: that's where they get their time.
Speaker 3: I've heard people say dancing. They go and dance.
Speaker 4: Because that's a time when they've got to move their body.
Speaker 4: They can't be on the phone, they can't be doing anything.
Speaker 4: They're only thinking about what they're doing in that moment
Speaker 4: while they're dancing.
Speaker 3: And I guess that's what sport is as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And it's funny because like different things work
Speaker 1: for different people. You know, some people get on a
Speaker 1: horse and it's like, oh my god, it's like therapy,
Speaker 1: it's like connection. It's like all of a sudden, your
Speaker 1: parasympathetic nervous system, you know, the calm. Other people would
Speaker 1: be terrified to get on a horse.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's something got to do from you know,
Speaker 4: a young age to feel safe doing it too. It's
Speaker 4: not like you just go, oh, thirty.
Speaker 3: Six and I'm going to go and ride a horse.
Speaker 1: It's funny I talk about I talk about motorbikes because
Speaker 1: I grew up on motorbikes and I ride more than
Speaker 1: I drive, right, So I've got four motorbikes, and if
Speaker 1: I've got to go most of the time, if I'm
Speaker 1: commuting anywhere, it's on a bike, like eighty percent of
Speaker 1: the time bike, twenty per cent car. It's funny because
Speaker 1: when I'm on a bike, which it seems like stupid,
Speaker 1: but I'm relaxed. Yeah, it's like, yeah, but you're on
Speaker 1: a motorbike and it's Melbourne and it's traffic, and I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: can't explain it, but like I feel, all is that one.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I'm still aware and alert and
Speaker 1: I'm still careful, but I endure. Like when I get
Speaker 1: in a car, it's just a thing that takes me
Speaker 1: from A to B and it's it's good and I'm grateful,
Speaker 1: but I don't go, oh fuck, yeah, I'm in the car.
Speaker 1: Oh god, this is so good. In the car, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just a car. But when I'm on a bike,
Speaker 1: even I've got like a shitty little bike, and I've
Speaker 1: got some great bikes, but even if I'm on the
Speaker 1: shitty crappy bike, have the best fucking time ever. Now
Speaker 1: I'm just realizing that we haven't even spoken about your film,
Speaker 1: which is probably the biggest thing, or one of the
Speaker 1: biggest thing that you've done, other than crank out a
Speaker 1: couple of kids and marry a good bloke and you know,
Speaker 1: I mean there's that too. So you made a film
Speaker 1: called Just a Farmer, and you have no right to
Speaker 1: make a film. No, no, I don't think you understand
Speaker 1: how hard it is to make a film and to
Speaker 1: take that idea and turn it into a reality. I
Speaker 1: think one of the people on your doco or the
Speaker 1: Australian Story said one in seven trillion, which was the
Speaker 1: name of your show. The show was called, the movie
Speaker 1: was called Just a Farmer, tell us how the fuck
Speaker 1: that happened and tell us a little bit about that journey.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it is quite just one of those things
Speaker 4: where people say, like, how did it happen. I'm like
Speaker 4: sometimes I'm like, I don't even fucking know how it happened,
Speaker 4: but anyway, it happened.
Speaker 1: And by the way, everyone, it's not a documentary, it's
Speaker 1: a move. It's a movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, it's a drama.
Speaker 4: And yeah, I guess for me growing up, you know,
Speaker 4: I it is it is my identity and I come
Speaker 4: back to it a lot, and I don't know if
Speaker 4: it annoys people, but yeah, but growing up and I
Speaker 4: still am dyslexic, movies were what I connected to the
Speaker 4: world through. Like, I loved movies. I love watching them.
Speaker 4: I love going on the emotional rollercoasters that they gave me.
Speaker 4: And some people have that with books, but I just
Speaker 4: never got that opportunity. So, you know, that's how I
Speaker 4: learned about the world and how I got introduced to
Speaker 4: different cultures or ideas or things outside of my little
Speaker 4: community and group and comfort zone was through movies.
Speaker 3: Like I'd walk down to.
Speaker 4: The video store every every sad day, get my video
Speaker 4: and come home with my chocolate paddle pop and watch it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were fifty cents back then too.
Speaker 1: Well, videos pos pattle pops. You have to sell a
Speaker 1: kidney to get a paddle pop those days. Yeah, they're
Speaker 1: not giving that shit away.
Speaker 3: And they're getting smaller.
Speaker 4: But anyway, so that's where like I've always come on
Speaker 4: streets do better.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, just been a massive movie lover.
Speaker 4: And then we're during COVID, we were watching you know,
Speaker 4: everyone was watching series movies. That's where we were getting
Speaker 4: our human connection, Like it was a topic of conversation
Speaker 4: like some of the TV series that got traction during
Speaker 4: COVID You're like, what was wrong with us all? Like
Speaker 4: what were we thinking? Like Tiger King, like how we
Speaker 4: all had to watch it? Right?
Speaker 3: But it was so ridiculous. It was stupid. If it
Speaker 3: came out now, no one could watch it.
Speaker 1: That's very true. That was very fucking random, that thing.
Speaker 1: And that was not only did people watch it, it
Speaker 1: was the biggest thing on Netflix for a while, Like
Speaker 1: that was massive.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you just kind of got addicted to the ridiculousness
Speaker 4: of it, Like it was, yeah, we gave this psychopath
Speaker 4: traction anyway.
Speaker 1: So you went, if they can get exposure.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, and then we found that like the Jeremy
Speaker 4: Clarkson Clarkson's Farm and my son were watching that, and
Speaker 4: my son loved it because it was the first show
Speaker 4: he'd seen on TV where his job was being celebrated,
Speaker 4: like what he loves doing was also being celebrated. And
Speaker 4: I said, my husband, this is the only farming show
Speaker 4: I've ever watched that is kind of close to what
Speaker 4: farming is actually really like like he was just blunt,
Speaker 4: you know, was so honest about not having any idea
Speaker 4: of what it was like to farm. He was, you know,
Speaker 4: honest with his profits, Like he's like, I made forty
Speaker 4: five dollars this year or forty five pounds this year.
Speaker 4: If I wasn't a millionaire backing it, I'd have nothing,
Speaker 4: you know, so fluntly honest.
Speaker 3: And I said, that's it.
Speaker 4: That's how we can penetrate a different audience and stop
Speaker 4: constantly preaching to the converted through a movie. And I said, like,
Speaker 4: being a school teacher, you say to kids, do you
Speaker 4: want to watch a documentary a movie? They're going to
Speaker 4: want to watch a movie, Like to me, like, there
Speaker 4: are some really good docos out there, but for me,
Speaker 4: they're personally a bit boring. They don't take me on
Speaker 4: an emotional journey. So I was like, we have to
Speaker 4: create a story and subconsciously have the message in it.
Speaker 3: So that's where we're like. And then I was like,
Speaker 3: we're going to make a movie.
Speaker 4: And my husband's like, oh, yeah, whatever, off you go.
Speaker 4: So yeah, it's sort of and my stupid idea of
Speaker 4: like learning how to make a movie was to go
Speaker 4: to acting school. Like that was yeah, that was a
Speaker 4: bit of a all.
Speaker 1: Right, hang on, like I talk to people all the
Speaker 1: time about setting goals, create a plan, create a timeline.
Speaker 1: You know, what are your KPIs, what are your resources?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a credit to you. It's fucking amazing.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you realize, but to sit at home,
Speaker 1: like when did you have this idea? Where did you
Speaker 1: have the idea? When did you have it? When was that?
Speaker 1: What year was at?
Speaker 3: Like was it twenty twenty one?
Speaker 4: We're in COVID, just sitting on the couch in there
Speaker 4: watching and I was like, that's it, that's how we
Speaker 4: do it.
Speaker 1: This is twenty one. The woman who's never acted goes,
Speaker 1: I want to make a movie twenty twenty four, the
Speaker 1: movies out and released in cinemas, and you're acting in it?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Bit nuts? Actually, I mean.
Speaker 1: We don't have time, but give us a little bit
Speaker 1: of the between the conceptualization and the and now he's
Speaker 1: our movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, I guess like I thought, I was a bit
Speaker 4: like what's his name Tarantino, Like when he first wanted
Speaker 4: to get into movies, he just thought he had to
Speaker 4: be an actor because that's all he's seen on the
Speaker 4: TV screen. But then when he went and did acting,
Speaker 4: he worked out. He hated acting, and he wanted to
Speaker 4: make movies because he couldn't be what he couldn't see.
Speaker 4: So when he's seen that there was people behind the
Speaker 4: scenes making them, he was like, that's what I want
Speaker 4: to do it.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be And he's pretty rubbish atted anyway, so.
Speaker 4: Or acting in them acting him, he's pretty good at
Speaker 4: making them, but yeah, rubbish out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So that's what I thought. I was like, I'll
Speaker 3: go and learn how to be an actor.
Speaker 4: So I like looked up all these you know, acting schools,
Speaker 4: and it had to suit my lifestyle and so you've
Speaker 4: got your nighters and all those but that's full time.
Speaker 3: I couldn't do that where I was.
Speaker 4: So I found this place that had a short course
Speaker 4: and everyone said that Damian Welsh Howling's the best acting
Speaker 4: coach in Melbourne. So I was like, well, I got
Speaker 4: to get into his class and he does advanced acting
Speaker 4: for advanced actors. And I was like, well, I don't
Speaker 4: have time to start at the bottom. I've got to
Speaker 4: go straight into that one.
Speaker 1: How do I? She did? Of course she did, Yeah,
Speaker 1: did you go. Look, I've never acted. I don't know, Dick,
Speaker 1: but I'm here you're welcome. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Basically, well, I rang up and said did they have
Speaker 4: a spot because it was starting in a few days,
Speaker 4: and they said, oh, yeah, we'll send through your resume.
Speaker 4: We'll need to check that you've got the experience and
Speaker 4: blah blah blah, and if we've got a spot, will
Speaker 4: put you in. And so I just made up a
Speaker 4: resume like as you do fraud. Isn't that what they
Speaker 4: call it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I don't think you're a but I think
Speaker 1: we could just call it fibbing.
Speaker 3: Again, that's it fibbing.
Speaker 4: And then they're like, oh, you need to send in
Speaker 4: a show reel, and I was like, what the fuck's
Speaker 4: a show real? So I just I was having like
Speaker 4: technical issues and whatever, and then they just said, okay,
Speaker 4: we've got a spot.
Speaker 3: We'll let you in.
Speaker 4: So I was like, gosh, shit, that was a bit easy.
Speaker 4: And then you turned up and then I realized I
Speaker 4: was like, shit, I'm in over my head, Like these
Speaker 4: people are all real actors, you know, going around the
Speaker 4: circle and they're all doing the actor thing. They introduced
Speaker 4: themselves and what they've done, and.
Speaker 3: I'm going they've done some really, like they've done stuff.
Speaker 1: Did you go farmer, wance a wife, You're welcome.
Speaker 4: Well, I just it got to me and I kind
Speaker 4: of panicked and I went, I've done nothing.
Speaker 1: And are they like how did you get in here? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Well Damien was like how did you get here?
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, I just just put in
Speaker 4: a like resume and they said that a spot.
Speaker 3: So they let me in.
Speaker 4: But now we got along really well because in his words,
Speaker 4: he just goes Leela's good at acting because she gives
Speaker 4: zero f about everything, and that's like the thing I didn't.
Speaker 4: He said, I had no bad habits for him to fix,
Speaker 4: so he was just like play and b and But
Speaker 4: then I worked out there's a whole lot more to
Speaker 4: films than just the actors. So I, you know, had
Speaker 4: the script and I had a few people that read
Speaker 4: over it for me and helped me work out how
Speaker 4: you format it.
Speaker 3: Like the first time I wrote the script, it was
Speaker 3: just in a word doc.
Speaker 4: Didn't even know that there was a way you had
Speaker 4: to put a script together and all these programs and
Speaker 4: stuff that you can use.
Speaker 3: So now they made life a bit easier.
Speaker 4: And you know, some people reading my script were really like,
Speaker 4: I don't even know how Sometimes like I got a
Speaker 4: really high profile going in Hollywood to read it, and
Speaker 4: he just tore my like script to pieces. It was
Speaker 4: soul destroying, and he did what they call a pass
Speaker 4: on it and he wrote his version of the story.
Speaker 4: And I remember the first time reading it back and
Speaker 4: I just cried. I'm like, he's massacred my story. He's
Speaker 4: written it like he's lives in Malibu his whole life
Speaker 4: life and he's trying to write a story about an
Speaker 4: Australian farmer. I was like, it's got no idea, Like
Speaker 4: he had dying dogs at the end and all like
Speaker 4: it was just so melodramatic. And I just thought, nah,
Speaker 4: like he may be a Hollywood like in one oscars
Speaker 4: for writing and things, but I was like, he doesn't
Speaker 4: know my story.
Speaker 3: I've got to stick to my guns. So that's what
Speaker 3: the other thing.
Speaker 4: I had to believe in the story and our mission
Speaker 4: and what we were trying to do. And got some
Speaker 4: other people to read it, and you take the good
Speaker 4: and the bad. Like some of the feedback you get
Speaker 4: you're like, oh whatever, and then some feedback you're like, yeah,
Speaker 4: that's that really makes sense, Like that will make my
Speaker 4: script better. So you've got to be good at taking
Speaker 4: criticism and actually taking it on board and changing it
Speaker 4: for the better.
Speaker 1: And that is a really good point, right, because I
Speaker 1: think like people, everyone says they want feedback until they
Speaker 1: get feedback that and want and they're like fuck you.
Speaker 1: So yeah, well okay, well you don't want feedback then
Speaker 1: you just want praise and accolades and endorsement.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I had a mentor who at the very start,
Speaker 4: and she's a.
Speaker 3: Novel writer. She's not a scriptwriter, but she was.
Speaker 4: She knew more than me about writing scripts anyway.
Speaker 3: And she said to me, you're making a film.
Speaker 4: It's the most collaborative creative project that you're ever gonna do.
Speaker 4: If you don't want to collaborate and take on people's
Speaker 4: ideas and opinions and their creative creative perspective of the film,
Speaker 4: she's like.
Speaker 1: Write a book, right.
Speaker 4: And every time I didn't agree with someone in their perspective,
Speaker 4: I came back to that and thought, no, this is
Speaker 4: a collaborative project.
Speaker 3: They want what's best.
Speaker 4: For the film as well, like we all want it
Speaker 4: to be really good. Yes, my opinion's not always the
Speaker 4: best opinion, So go away for a couple of hours,
Speaker 4: and think on it and see their side of their
Speaker 4: perspective and work out what's best for the film. Because
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, that's what every decision
Speaker 4: came back to. It was what was best for the
Speaker 4: film and the message that we were trying to portray.
Speaker 4: And I I think that's why we ended up with
Speaker 4: such a beautiful film because there was no egos involved.
Speaker 4: It was all about the message and the film. Like
Speaker 4: even when we interviewed people to come and work on
Speaker 4: the film, we were just straight up we just said,
Speaker 4: this isn't a career climbing venture, like we don't even
Speaker 4: know if it's going to make anything. You need to
Speaker 4: be on board for the message and have some type
Speaker 4: of personal reason for wanting to be involved. And yeah,
Speaker 4: I think that's why we were able to create something
Speaker 4: because everyone wanted it to be something beautiful.
Speaker 1: But I think I think with that ownership thing too,
Speaker 1: like either write a book or do a film, like
Speaker 1: it's collaboration and it's not yours. It's ours.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, our.
Speaker 1: Film, not your film. Then the moment that you start
Speaker 1: to become possessive, you kind of push people out because
Speaker 1: you want people to buy into your vision. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you're telling everybody they can't have any input. Then it's
Speaker 1: not how can they buy into the vision if it's
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's all you. So that makes complete sense.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and like and I was just so lucky, like
Speaker 4: Simon Lindon, who's the director of the film, because you know,
Speaker 4: at the start, I thought I was going to do everything.
Speaker 4: I was even going to direct it at one point
Speaker 4: as well. I was just going to do everything. But
Speaker 4: I needed to find a director that understood the film
Speaker 4: and the message and what the people were going through.
Speaker 4: And I went through a few directors like it was,
Speaker 4: you know, they wanted it to be melodramatic, or they
Speaker 4: added all these scenes in there, or just you know,
Speaker 4: they just didn't get the people. And just randomly it
Speaker 4: was in col Rain helping because a friend of mine sat, oh,
Speaker 4: they're doing this little shoot down here, come down here
Speaker 4: and help out, and so you can see what it's
Speaker 4: like to be on a set.
Speaker 3: And I went down and a randomly met Simon.
Speaker 4: I had no idea who he was at the time,
Speaker 4: and like he probably wasn't in his best state of
Speaker 4: mind when I met him either, and I asked him
Speaker 4: to read the script and he just got it because
Speaker 4: he'd been through his own own journey with mental health
Speaker 4: and it's and you know, to this day, he's still
Speaker 4: still going through it.
Speaker 3: He's a recovering addict.
Speaker 1: And he's quite open about that. His knees quite Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he's good for him. Yeah. So yeah, three
Speaker 3: years with a heroin addiction.
Speaker 4: So he's and he's been cleaned for fifteen years now,
Speaker 4: but he struggles most days, he says, but there's a
Speaker 4: beautiful soul in there.
Speaker 3: And that made me think so.
Speaker 4: Differently of addiction as well as in getting to know
Speaker 4: Simon and what he goes through. Like I just you know,
Speaker 4: like he probably was a bit naive because I've never
Speaker 4: been addicted to anything, like saying, oh, you know, just stop,
Speaker 4: like how can But getting to know Simon and his journey,
Speaker 4: I'm like, wow, Like it's a it's a totally different
Speaker 4: experience for that person. And yeah, like I have a
Speaker 4: whole different perspective on it now. But yeah, meeting him
Speaker 4: was sort of very random. Yes, I've been other directors
Speaker 4: and he was just helping me on the script and
Speaker 4: giving me ideas at the time, and then one day
Speaker 4: I just sort of thought like Simon didn't anything. He
Speaker 4: hadn't been anything for a long while, and I just thought,
Speaker 4: you know what, he's the only person that gets it
Speaker 4: in this industry that I've spoke to, as like on
Speaker 4: a creative level. I'm just going to ask him to
Speaker 4: direct it. And it was so beautiful. I asked him,
Speaker 4: and he just goes my heart says yes.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So he came and lived with us for a few
Speaker 4: months on the farm to sort of get an understanding
Speaker 4: and meet the locals. And then when he said he
Speaker 4: got here and he met everyone, he's like, I understand
Speaker 4: it even more now, Like I understand because he found
Speaker 4: the farmer to be quite a victim when he first
Speaker 4: read it, like, you know, oh, poor him, like he's
Speaker 4: being he's been a bit of a silk. But when
Speaker 4: he met my husband, he's like, I get it now,
Speaker 4: Like you know, when he read the script and he says, oh,
Speaker 4: I'm tired, and you know I've been working and blah
Speaker 4: blah blah, he thaught it. He sounded like I felt
Speaker 4: like the farmer was winging. But when he met Sean
Speaker 4: and he's Shan talk, He's not winging. It's just a
Speaker 4: matter of fact. This is the fact I'm tired, I
Speaker 4: haven't had sleep, blah blah blah. Yeah, working, So it
Speaker 4: was great that he came and did that, and then.
Speaker 3: We just put it down to synchronicity.
Speaker 4: Like I can't even explain how we found all the
Speaker 4: other people that came on and everything, but it just
Speaker 4: sort of everyone just sort of came in out of
Speaker 4: the universe at us. We had no like, I can't
Speaker 4: even explain it. It's kind of sometimes a miracle, I think,
Speaker 4: because yeah.
Speaker 1: It's bloody incredible. I'm not going to feb and say
Speaker 1: I've watched it because I only discovered yesterday. But it's
Speaker 1: my weekend viewing. Is your movie, So I'm going to
Speaker 1: send you a message after I watch it. But where
Speaker 1: can people watch it? It's on Apple, isn't it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's on Apple.
Speaker 4: So we've just recently had it up on Apple because
Speaker 4: that was a whole new side of filmmaking that I
Speaker 4: had no idea about. Once you actually making the films
Speaker 4: the easy part. It's the distribution that's the hard party.
Speaker 1: It's like writing a book. I've written a books. It's like,
Speaker 1: oh I wrote a book, Great, how the fuck do
Speaker 1: I sell it? Now?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, how do you get people to see it,
Speaker 3: read it, appreciate it all these You're like, oh, that's
Speaker 3: the hard part.
Speaker 4: And in Australia there's so many people that think they
Speaker 4: hold the key to doing that, and I had to
Speaker 4: work out how to get around those people and then
Speaker 4: do it myself because they're like, no one wants to
Speaker 4: watch a film about farmers or mental health.
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Thanks for your feedback. That's super nice, yer.
Speaker 5: Yeah, next, when you I mean, I'm sure you saw
Speaker 5: bits and pieces of the film as it was under
Speaker 5: construction for one of a better term.
Speaker 1: Do you remember when you sat down the first time
Speaker 1: and just watched the finished products start to finish.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So it was a bit like I was a
Speaker 4: very involved producer, so like I'd be in the edit
Speaker 4: probably once or twice a week watching everything. Simon would
Speaker 4: always double check and he was very respectful of the
Speaker 4: story and it was a big collaborative project making sure
Speaker 4: everything was really authentic and what we wanted it to look.
Speaker 3: Like, which was amazing.
Speaker 4: And yeah, I learned like the editor is probably the
Speaker 4: most important person in putting a film together because they
Speaker 4: understand timing. You know, when something's taking too long, And
Speaker 4: I think that's where a few Australian films go wrong,
Speaker 4: is they're too long, like they sit in one like
Speaker 4: you need to keep progressing the story.
Speaker 3: Forward all the time. And I do worry sometimes that
Speaker 3: our film starts.
Speaker 4: A bit too slow because I hate like I personally
Speaker 4: was like, I don't want my film to be one
Speaker 4: of those films where people are sitting there going shit,
Speaker 4: like what's going to happen next? But like you want
Speaker 4: it to keep moving forward, and that's the editor's job.
Speaker 4: So if if movie moves and keeps going really well
Speaker 4: and you engage the whole way through, the editor has
Speaker 4: a really good understanding of people's attentions and then progressing forward,
Speaker 4: the director's kind of the artistic person to make sure
Speaker 4: everyone's performance is a good or everything looks good and
Speaker 4: different things and they've got to have a good team,
Speaker 4: be a good team. And then me being the producer
Speaker 4: coming in like I had to then you know, sign
Speaker 4: off on things and make sure it was all good.
Speaker 4: So but I do remember sitting down for the first time,
Speaker 4: we all watched like we'd watched scenes everywhere, like scenes
Speaker 4: cut together in like a zoo in different ways, but
Speaker 4: watching the whole film in one go. I kind of
Speaker 4: actually had a little bit of a mental breakdown afterwards,
Speaker 4: which was really interesting, and I.
Speaker 3: Couldn't work out what the hell was going on.
Speaker 4: So I rang Damien and I was like, I can't
Speaker 4: stop crying, Like what's wrong? Like I don't know what's
Speaker 4: going on. I'm not sad, I just can't stop crying.
Speaker 4: And he literally said to me, did you watch the
Speaker 4: film for the first time today?
Speaker 3: Start to finish? And I said yeah.
Speaker 4: And he's like, you are now processing all the feelings
Speaker 4: of Alison that you didn't deal with while you were filming.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: And he's like, your subconscious doesn't know the difference between
Speaker 4: what's real and what's not and what you experienced as
Speaker 4: your character if you really live it.
Speaker 3: And I did some.
Speaker 4: Of those scenes I blacked out in and I don't
Speaker 4: remember filming them. He said, your subconscious is now dealing
Speaker 4: with those emotions.
Speaker 3: And I was like, holy shit, Okay.
Speaker 1: Now I'm walking about that, Damien.
Speaker 3: Sorry, Damien Welsh howling. So he was my right, right,
Speaker 3: right right.
Speaker 1: Sorry, yep, yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 2: That's yeah, But did you know what what was dawning
Speaker 2: on me is like, here's the here's the year nine
Speaker 2: girl who couldn't read a fucking sentence, who wrote a
Speaker 2: fucking film?
Speaker 4: I know?
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 4: Like if any of girls I go to went to
Speaker 4: school with ever thought of me writing a full script
Speaker 4: like something over one page, they'd be.
Speaker 1: Like, what the fuck exactly?
Speaker 3: You wrote something?
Speaker 1: Do you know what else? I'm proud of you? Or
Speaker 1: we've opened the swearing door and you've come running through
Speaker 1: it with all of your own fucks. I couldn't be prouder.
Speaker 1: I dare say you're never going to do anything ever
Speaker 1: again in media where you swear so much? I feel
Speaker 1: like I've empowered you. Are you going to do? Are
Speaker 1: you going to do another movie ever?
Speaker 4: I would love to, but I can't fund it the
Speaker 4: way I funded this one?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: Would you find other people to help me?
Speaker 1: I mean the bits and pieces that I saw of
Speaker 1: the movie again, I would if I didn't think, if
Speaker 1: I didn't believe what I'm about to say, I just
Speaker 1: wouldn't mention it.
Speaker 3: Okay, but you like.
Speaker 1: A real deal actor, dude like you like it? When
Speaker 1: I saw it, I went, how's this going to be?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: Because oh no, it's great?
Speaker 4: Because everyone goes in with low expectations, like even my mentor,
Speaker 4: David Gregory, who is a beautiful man, and when he
Speaker 4: first watched it, he admitted to me, He's like, when
Speaker 4: you contacted me and asked me to watch this movie,
Speaker 4: I was like, this is going to be a bit shit,
Speaker 4: isn't it? Like ah, And then he goes but it
Speaker 4: wasn't shit. I'm like, that's great because everyone goes in
Speaker 4: with low expectations and then they're just they're sweetly surprised,
Speaker 4: which is quite nice.
Speaker 1: You could write, you could use that in the reviews.
Speaker 1: It wasn't shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it wasn't shit.
Speaker 1: It wasn't shit. Hey, I could talk to you forever.
Speaker 1: I'm so pleased that I've met you and that my
Speaker 1: audience has met you. You're genuinely amazing. Thanks for taking
Speaker 1: an hour and a half out of your life before
Speaker 1: we go. What do you want to promote or share
Speaker 1: with people? I've got a fair few listeners, So is
Speaker 1: there anything that you where do people find you or
Speaker 1: connect with you? Or do you want to steer my
Speaker 1: audience towards you're not for profit? Or I'll give you
Speaker 1: the mic for a minute.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, Well I guess I just love people to
Speaker 4: watch the film and experience it, like it isn't experience,
Speaker 4: it is going It's designed to take you on a journey,
Speaker 4: like so so prepared for that, and like if you
Speaker 4: don't feel something, then you're weird.
Speaker 3: And if you don't have a cry.
Speaker 4: I don't want to say it too much, but if
Speaker 4: you don't cry, then you're made of ice.
Speaker 1: What is wrong? What is wrong?
Speaker 3: What is wrong with you?
Speaker 4: But that's the point, And to build empathy. I think
Speaker 4: we lack empathy in the world. So for people to
Speaker 4: cry and feel what that family is going through, it's creating.
Speaker 3: A natural empathy in people. And then at the end,
Speaker 3: like there.
Speaker 4: Is hope and you hopefully have a good laugh too,
Speaker 4: because Rob Taylor is hilarious. He plays oh and the
Speaker 4: old character in the film, and he's a bit of
Speaker 4: Half of his lines is made up and they're the
Speaker 4: funniest ones. But yeah, to go on watch it. It's
Speaker 4: on Apple. You can just type in just a farmer
Speaker 4: in Apple and it'll come up.
Speaker 3: And after you've.
Speaker 4: Watched it, oh, you get your friends to watch it,
Speaker 4: catch up with your friends a few days afterwards, and
Speaker 4: actually talk about the themes in the film and how
Speaker 4: it made you feel and white it made you feel
Speaker 4: that way, because I think that reflects is really important afterwards,
Speaker 4: because it's designed to open conversations with among families and
Speaker 4: friends and then share with us what you thought too.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be doing that. Don't worry about that, Leila.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for connecting with us, and thanks
Speaker 1: for coming on the You project. I really appreciate the chat.
Speaker 1: This is I've done eighteen hundred plus. This is one
Speaker 1: of my favorites. It's going in my top ten straight up,
Speaker 1: So thank you very much. We say goodbye off air,
Speaker 1: but for the moment, Thanks for your time, and thanks
Speaker 1: for being so open and vulnerable and super clever.
Speaker 3: No, thank you for having me