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Speaker 1: Apodche Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy

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Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment and

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Speaker 1: encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic

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Speaker 1: version of yourself. We help you shed the shame, grow

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Speaker 1: to a new level. We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk

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Speaker 1: about the topics everyone else is too afraid to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Get ready for your next level of self. Hello everybody,

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to she Rises. Happy Monday. I hope you're

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Speaker 1: a week starting off on the right foot. If you're

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Speaker 1: listening to us, it certainly will. So we actually bulk

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Speaker 1: film a month ahead, so this might feel a little

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Speaker 1: bit delayed to you, But today we want to talk

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Speaker 1: about our words that we have thought of to really

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Speaker 1: bring our you forward and what we want to focus on,

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Speaker 1: what we want to feel, and what we want to

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Speaker 1: bring more into twenty twenty six. Absolutely, but before you

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Speaker 1: get started, Chair of the Week, there's actually a place

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Speaker 1: that we've been going to recently.

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Speaker 2: It's called Infinity Ivy and Wellness, and it is like

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Speaker 2: the biohacking central of the coast and every time I

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Speaker 2: actually and I go in there with feel like little

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Speaker 2: kids in a candy store because they have all of

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Speaker 2: these incredible is it machinery slash technology.

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Speaker 1: That they use.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Hells rejuvenation healing, all of these beautiful and incredible

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Speaker 2: things and is just like our favorite place to go.

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Speaker 2: Like we've been getting ivy drips, we've been getting full

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Speaker 2: body red light therabo. Oh that's my favorite. Oh we

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Speaker 2: even did hyperbaric chamber that was interesting.

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Speaker 1: Can't remember the name of the other one that used,

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Speaker 1: but oh it's like that sort of machine where your

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Speaker 1: hippokes out, yes, and it like detoxifies your body and

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Speaker 1: like draws the toxins out of your skin. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: highly recommend if you're a health person or a health girlie.

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Speaker 1: This is definitely a place that you love so good. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's like I did in Corumbin. Yes, we've been twice

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Speaker 1: now and definitely we'll be back. Yes. Mine's a TV show.

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Speaker 1: It's not Tianna's copp of Tea. It's called Girl Taken.

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Speaker 1: I think it's on Netflix, and it's about these two

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Speaker 1: twin girls and one of them gets kidnapped by her

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Speaker 1: English teacher and he holds her for five years, which

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Speaker 1: she escapes. It's wild, so I won't give too much away,

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Speaker 1: you know, I probably just to give a little bit

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Speaker 1: away then, but it's very very interesting. And I was

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Speaker 1: actually reflecting on like why I like these kind of

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Speaker 1: TV shows as I was talking to I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is really fucked up. I was talking to my

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Speaker 1: mom about it as well. But I really like to learn.

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Speaker 1: I like to understand the human psychology around it. Not

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Speaker 1: that you can really understand why the fuck they do

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Speaker 1: what they do. Yeah, fucking psychos. But just like even

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Speaker 1: to teach Tarlotte, like from this one, I'm like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, Like I never would have thought to sit

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Speaker 1: her down and say, don't ever ever allow yourself to

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Speaker 1: be in the room with any teachers, like saw it

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Speaker 1: any teachers out there, But like after watching this, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh my goodness. And then my mom told me when

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Speaker 1: she was younger. Oh, she was nine years old, so

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Speaker 1: tajas I was in grade four. Her teacher, he was

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Speaker 1: a male, he was like twenty one years old, asked

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Speaker 1: her to go to his house on the weekend to

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Speaker 1: see his puppies. Wow, to see his fucking puppies. She

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Speaker 1: was nine years old. Wow, that's absolutely Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: that was like, that's just disgusting. Yeah, And I remember

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Speaker 1: in high school, I had this business teacher who was

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Speaker 1: I reflect back on now, I'm like, he was so

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Speaker 1: touchy with me, very complimentary, always wanted to stay back

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Speaker 1: and help me. And I enjoyed like the attention. I

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Speaker 1: enjoyed the poor.

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Speaker 2: Support, having someone that you could lean on who was

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Speaker 2: like somebody above you, you know, like I.

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Speaker 1: Didn't have a nice, healthy, safe man at home. So

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Speaker 1: he was like I just thought he was amazing, and

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Speaker 1: I obviously had the story that I was really dumb,

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Speaker 1: and he just gasped me out telling me how smart

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Speaker 1: I was at this particular subject. It looked like now,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, he was actually creepy. I remember him

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Speaker 1: coming behind me sometimes, like leaning over my books to

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Speaker 1: like you know when they put your head like yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh I just look back and I just yeah, from

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Speaker 1: this TV show, now, okay, I'm gonna have that conversation

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Speaker 1: with Tuller. I can never be alone in a room

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Speaker 1: with a male teacher, so I learn every time I

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Speaker 1: watch one of these shows, I learned something. I think

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Speaker 1: That's why I like it.

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Speaker 2: Something that you said as well as You're like, I

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Speaker 2: just want to know what to do exactly right, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you never know what.

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Speaker 2: You're going to learn when you watch these things, with

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Speaker 2: like different ways that you can support yourself if you

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Speaker 2: ever get yourself into a bad situation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think if there was like this is

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Speaker 1: my intruth of thought coming in, But if Tiana and

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Speaker 1: I would get kidnapped together, I think I would go

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Speaker 1: into fight response. Yeah, but if I was by myself,

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Speaker 1: I think I would freeze. I don't actually know, but

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Speaker 1: I think if I was to protect a friend, I

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Speaker 1: think like this, Oh you know, like Angele would come

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Speaker 1: out of protecting like a fire. Yeah, like a real fire,

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Speaker 1: and you strategically work out what you're gonna do and

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Speaker 1: be almost easier having someone there. If we were together,

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Speaker 1: we would be fine. Yeah, you know. I watched another one.

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Speaker 1: Actually I forget what it's called, but it was similar

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Speaker 1: to these girls that got kidnapped in Europe, and because

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Speaker 1: there was so many of them, they put them in

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Speaker 1: this like cage downstairs. But the way they all got

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Speaker 1: out was they all worked as a team and they

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Speaker 1: got out. Do you know what that one's called? No,

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Speaker 1: I'm forgetting damn it. Who'll have to tell me later?

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Speaker 1: I will have to tell you later. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: you would like that one. It wasn't as like the

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Speaker 1: sexual things you didn't.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't watch that stuff like actually not use

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Speaker 2: and all that sort stuff.

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Speaker 1: It makes me squam. It's not nice to watch. But

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Speaker 1: once again, learnt so much. But I want to teach

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Speaker 1: Challa before. Anyways, let's bring it on. Let's bring it on.

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Speaker 1: So what are your three words for twenty twenty six?

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Speaker 2: Then you're bringing in Okay, So just to keep the

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Speaker 2: little context as well around the three words. Something that

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Speaker 2: has been so helpful for both of us and something

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Speaker 2: that will be helpful for you too. To implement this

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Speaker 2: is instead of having this long list of things that

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Speaker 2: you want to tick off and getting really overwhelmed and going, oh,

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Speaker 2: who was it that I wanted to be this year,

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Speaker 2: having three words that you can kind of live by,

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Speaker 2: just for me personally change the game for me. Yes,

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Speaker 2: like having those words as something to refer back to

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Speaker 2: in a moment when I felt triggered, In a moment

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Speaker 2: when I felt tired, lazy, unmotivated, undisciplined, or like anything

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Speaker 2: was coming up for me, I was like, who did

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Speaker 2: I say I wanted to be? It's the beginning of

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Speaker 2: the year, and so for me what my words are.

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Speaker 2: My first one is enrich, So enrich in terms of

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Speaker 2: like just wanting my life to feel enriching, whether that

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Speaker 2: be experiences, I have relationships, I have friendships, the way

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Speaker 2: that I pour into the people that I love, I

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Speaker 2: kind of want the people that I love to to

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Speaker 2: have that feeling of like enrichment when they're around me too,

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Speaker 2: you know, so like everything that we're doing together is

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Speaker 2: like creating more good than it is anything else.

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Speaker 1: I love that word, and it was cool because before

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Speaker 1: you thought of that word, I'd noticed it started to

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Speaker 1: come into Tiana's vocabulary. Yeah, like she was starting to

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Speaker 1: use it, and I was like, Oh, that's so aligned

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Speaker 1: with like how you're feeling. It's so good. I just

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Speaker 1: saw it one day. I saw it on like Pinterest

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Speaker 1: or something, and I was like, oh, wow, that's a

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Speaker 1: really cool word.

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Speaker 2: And I started to reflect on it. I was like, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's gonna be one of my words.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 2: That's my first one. My next one is amplify. So

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Speaker 2: this for me like relates to so many different areas

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Speaker 2: of my life. It amplify in terms of everything that

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Speaker 2: I'm already doing. It's almost like stacking and compounding on

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Speaker 2: top of all the things that I've already been doing

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Speaker 2: in the last year and the year before that, and

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Speaker 2: now going, okay, cool, let's amplify everything that I'm already doing.

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Speaker 2: So cool workwise, what we're creating here at she rises

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Speaker 2: what I'm doing in my own personal life, like amplifying relationships, love, play, enjoyment, enrichment,

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Speaker 2: even that adlies to that, you know, So just like

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Speaker 2: amplifying everything to be big erup, bold, up better than

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Speaker 2: what I've ever experienced before. So freaking cool. Yeah, absolutely

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Speaker 2: love that one. Then the last one is overflow. I

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Speaker 2: really wanted something to encapsulate a mindset that I wanted

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Speaker 2: to be in, also a representation of like my ability

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Speaker 2: to receive money and to receive things, you know, And

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Speaker 2: I was like, how do I want to feel when

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Speaker 2: that represents my life? And it felt like overflow, you know,

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Speaker 2: because I feel like previously I've always just like I've always.

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Speaker 1: Just like had enough. I've always just had that iven

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Speaker 1: you're grateful to have what You're grateful to have what

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Speaker 1: I've got.

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Speaker 2: And now I'm like, okay, I want to be in

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Speaker 2: this season of overflow, overflow of impact, overflow of how

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Speaker 2: much I can give to the people that I love,

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Speaker 2: overflow and how much I can give to myself, overflow

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Speaker 2: in how much I'm able to receive and then also

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Speaker 2: pour back out. It's almost like this constant, revolving thing

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Speaker 2: that pours into itself, which is I pour into myself.

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Speaker 2: I can then pour into everyone else and I receive

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Speaker 2: as a result of that.

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Speaker 1: That's cool. Yeah, that's my three words for the year,

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Speaker 1: and I'm really excited about it. Very very cool. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Something else that I've done as well is, like I

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Speaker 2: showed you this the other day. I wrote in my

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Speaker 2: note section Tiana's words, and then it was like twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty five words, and then I wrote my three words down,

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Speaker 2: and then it was like twenty twenty six words. And

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Speaker 2: I wrote my three words down just to kind of

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Speaker 2: show me where my head space was at and what

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Speaker 2: it was that I've been valuing each year, and.

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Speaker 1: I really want to track it. Yeah. Such a good idea.

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Speaker 1: We love it all, love a good notes. Actually, do

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Speaker 1: I have four thousand? I have four thousand? Where do

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Speaker 1: you see the number? I need to check mine on

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Speaker 1: my trip to Bali. I definitely have to clean them out.

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Speaker 1: I never used to use notes that much until I

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Speaker 1: met Now. It's like we have notes for everything. We

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Speaker 1: have everything pin notes, we have like so much to do,

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Speaker 1: lists for different topics, different parts of our business. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it keeps us so on track.

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Speaker 2: So no, because we track our content, our retreats, our

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Speaker 2: Zola jacks, our podcasts.

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Speaker 1: Episode everything in there. So cool. Tell me what your words.

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Speaker 1: So my first word was curiosity. I just want to

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Speaker 1: be curious on everything, ask more questions, dig a little

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Speaker 1: bit deeper, peel back more layers, just get more curious

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Speaker 1: on everyone, everything and myself. There's just always so much

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Speaker 1: to learn. I don't think you ever get to a

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Speaker 1: point in your life, no matter how much of an

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Speaker 1: expert you want to claim to be, even in your field,

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Speaker 1: you should always be more curious. There's always more to learn,

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Speaker 1: never stop learning. And I also that kind of ties

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Speaker 1: into my story of like I'm dumb because sometimes I

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Speaker 1: limit myself. I'm getting curious because I'm like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to understand it anyway, so I won't even bother.

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Speaker 1: So I'm really trying to lean into that, and I

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Speaker 1: love that. And then my next one is alive if

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Speaker 1: it doesn't make me feel alive, it's just not it.

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Speaker 1: And I felt this sense of aliveness which I was

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Speaker 1: spoken about before last year was just like really leaning

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Speaker 1: into my sexuality, my sensuality and my playfulness and my pleasure.

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Speaker 1: And it was just like this we spoke about it

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Speaker 1: works so much like we just felt so alive, like

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Speaker 1: being in that energy. It's just it's a life force

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Speaker 1: being in Your feminine's a life force being and your

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Speaker 1: sexual energy is a life force and I just want

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Speaker 1: more of that aliveness. Even I've started dancing again this year,

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Speaker 1: but not heels dancing, which I love that as well,

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Speaker 1: but gone back to doing like a lyrical contemporary class.

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Speaker 1: And it makes me feel so alive when I'm just

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Speaker 1: so present, I'm in the moment in my body and

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Speaker 1: I'm expressing with movement. It makes me feel so alive.

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Speaker 1: It's really cool. And even just like experiences with the kids,

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Speaker 1: just different things are doing with them, just things that

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Speaker 1: make them feel alive and the really lit up. It

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Speaker 1: makes me feel really lit up. Yeah. And then my

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Speaker 1: other one is it's a word I hadn't heard of before,

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Speaker 1: and I think I saw it on Pinterest as well

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Speaker 1: when I was doing my vision board. Yeah, it's called unbound, unbound, Unbound.

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Speaker 1: It basically means like really free of restriction. You're letting

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Speaker 1: go of any title, any limitation, belief, anything that kind

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Speaker 1: of restricts you from just being your full self. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And when I read that, I was like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: that's so me. Yeah, you just you're not living by

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Speaker 1: fear or living in old patterns. You're just like this wild,

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Speaker 1: free animal. Yeah, and freedom is one of my top

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Speaker 1: values as well, so I really want to lean into

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Speaker 1: that more. It feels like you like unclipping your wings

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Speaker 1: and like actually letting your wings. Yeah, all the way.

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Speaker 1: Because I've always valued freedom, but then I've had moments

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Speaker 1: where I felt guilt for it or thought, oh, because

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Speaker 1: I'm married, maybe I shouldn't be able to do all

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Speaker 1: the things I want to do. Or the noise of

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Speaker 1: social media, as much as I don't listen to, I

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Speaker 1: hear it, and then it sometimes makes you doubt what

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Speaker 1: you're doing. And I'm like, actually, no, I want to

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Speaker 1: be full freedom and unbound to just live my life

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Speaker 1: on my own terms, regardless what anyone thinks or what

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Speaker 1: anyone says on my past or what I thought yesterday

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Speaker 1: my opinion was this time last year on the podcast. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm free to change and free to live. I'm free

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Speaker 1: to just do what I want to do, free to

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Speaker 1: be unbound.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I like cool words. It is a very

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Speaker 2: cool word. It's a very cool representation. I feel like

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Speaker 2: of all the change that you had over the last year. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, really like pulling down those restrictions, you know,

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Speaker 2: unchaining yourself from, like all the things, the beliefs, the

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Speaker 2: ways of being and like things that you thought that

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Speaker 2: you needed to be but actually aren't.

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Speaker 1: Isn't you. I share all of that, So I sheard

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Speaker 1: so much last year speaker. It's very very cool. So

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Speaker 1: then we thought we would also talk about our ins

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Speaker 1: and outs, Yes, which is fun. Yeah, do you want

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Speaker 1: to go first? Absolutely? Okay, So I'll go over my

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Speaker 1: inns first. Just more joy through daily tasks, like whether

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Speaker 1: it's cleaning out the kitchen, I want to put music

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Speaker 1: on and make fun with the kids if it's dinner

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Speaker 1: time and the kids being annoying, Like just have fun

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Speaker 1: with Steve and just like be in the moment with

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Speaker 1: him rather getting frustrated, like how playful, jokes with him

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Speaker 1: about how hard parenting is and just be in it

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Speaker 1: together rather than like I feel like a parent, like

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Speaker 1: a dad or a mum's energy can really set the

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Speaker 1: tone for the whole house. So we're playful and having fun,

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Speaker 1: then it's only going to leak onto our kids. Whereas

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Speaker 1: if we get frustrated and they're already feeling frustrated, the

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Speaker 1: whole house feels frustrated. So he's trying to bring more

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Speaker 1: joy into our day to day mundane tasks because it's

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Speaker 1: so fun to have fun when you're on holiday, we're

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Speaker 1: going for a stay ca or you're doing something cool

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Speaker 1: with your friends, you're going on date night, But most

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Speaker 1: of your life is taking care of kids, is going

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Speaker 1: to work, is like keeping the house tidy, is doing

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Speaker 1: the washing, is doing like the stuff that you have

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Speaker 1: to get done. So just bringing more joy into all

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Speaker 1: of that love that more flirting with my husband being

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Speaker 1: together eighteen years is June, so it's just something I'm

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Speaker 1: definitely more conscious of. Last year we really lent into that.

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Speaker 1: But once again, the day to day flirting like more frequently. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the micro moment.

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Speaker 2: That's safeful energy like safe flow is a lot of weight,

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Speaker 2: isn't it.

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Speaker 1: Especially for a masculine man. They're so drawn to that

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Speaker 1: and effeminine, and it just reminds me I still have

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Speaker 1: a little work to do around slowing down and softening

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Speaker 1: and trusting and just like being in my feminine flow,

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Speaker 1: which is a hard balance with being such a worker.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of unlearning or a lot of like

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Speaker 1: just learning how to balance and embrace both energies, not

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Speaker 1: good or bad, but they're suitable for different times and

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Speaker 1: different parts of your life.

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Speaker 2: Knowing when to put on a hat of like this

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Speaker 2: is my masculine energy is this is where I'm like

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Speaker 2: taking the hat off. But also as well, like what

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Speaker 2: you said, it would be a balance because you're a

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Speaker 2: parent and you're a business owner, and then you've got

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Speaker 2: to learn how to dance in between all those things.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of women either go too far

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Speaker 1: one way or too far the other way. It's so

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Speaker 1: far over here where they're just so feminine, flowy, but

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Speaker 1: then they're not making any progress or having any growth.

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Speaker 1: And there's the other way where it's like Ohm, a

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Speaker 1: complete boss babe, and I'm getting shit done and you're

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Speaker 1: rushing all the time, and then you end up burnt

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Speaker 1: out and resentful and not allowing your man to take lead.

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Speaker 1: It's like this beautiful in between balance that I think

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Speaker 1: I'm still just figuring it out to dance. It's a dance.

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Speaker 1: Definitely a routine structure I've always worn more of. But

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Speaker 1: then also I'm wanting this year more flexibility around my cycle.

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Speaker 1: So I'm super aware last year of like learning where

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Speaker 1: my cycle was, and I was fixing my hormones with

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Speaker 1: a natch path. And it's funny because the more you

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00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:24,041
Speaker 1: work on your health and your information, the less symptoms

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Speaker 1: you have, so the easier period feels anyway. But just

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Speaker 1: allowing those times where I do feel more tired or

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Speaker 1: more irritated, or if I can feel my threshold with

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Speaker 1: the kids, isn't there like just communicating that with more steven,

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Speaker 1: being flexible and softer on myself through that, not just

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Speaker 1: pushing through all the time. And I like that my

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Speaker 1: bloods every three months, I'm bringing that in. Yeah, not

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Speaker 1: once a year, not once every couple of years. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to do it every three months to track what

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Speaker 1: I'm doing is actually working. I like that because even

348
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Speaker 1: the last time I did it did it twice last

349
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Speaker 1: year and I were three months in between and what

350
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Speaker 1: I needed the first time compared to when I need

351
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Speaker 1: the second time. I completely switched. Yeah, So like I

352
00:14:58,601 --> 00:15:01,721
Speaker 1: kind of quote unquote fixed what needed help with. And

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Speaker 1: then there was a couple of other things that popped

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Speaker 1: up that I needed different supplements for, Like, Okay, get

355
00:15:05,641 --> 00:15:07,241
Speaker 1: up those ones. Now we're going to do these ones.

356
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Speaker 1: So just getting them regularly check because I think people

357
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Speaker 1: just take supplements for the sake of taking supplements. What

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00:15:12,681 --> 00:15:15,921
Speaker 1: he might not actually need them in the box. Yeah,

359
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Speaker 1: you might be overdose and you think you're doing the

360
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Speaker 1: right thing by giving your body all of that, but

361
00:15:19,881 --> 00:15:21,841
Speaker 1: you don't know what you don't know? Yeh, was it zinc?

362
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,321
Speaker 1: Before that you would wake too much zinc. Zinc levels

363
00:15:24,321 --> 00:15:27,041
Speaker 1: are really high, super high, which affect your copper. And

364
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Speaker 1: then I took zinc and that balance back out again.

365
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Speaker 1: But then my body wasn't absorbing iron, so I was

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Speaker 1: taking iron, but I had to take I think it

367
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Speaker 1: was a digestive enzyme in something else to help the

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Speaker 1: stomach acid actually be able to absorb the iron. So

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Speaker 1: being on that now my next test, I can't wait

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Speaker 1: to see if that's helped. Yeah, it's quite complexd it

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Speaker 1: make no it makes sense you actually just track it

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Speaker 1: because then as well, you're kind of just like you're

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Speaker 1: just shooting in the dark kind of thing. You're just

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Speaker 1: kind of winging it.

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Speaker 2: Then it's also like, are you actually doing things that

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Speaker 2: are supportive of your body and what is?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, another infamy is allowing more time to actually feel things.

378
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Speaker 1: One feel before I react, and two just feel in general.

379
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Speaker 1: I still feel that when things are very uncomfortable, I

380
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Speaker 1: still want to distract and park it to the side

381
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Speaker 1: because i don't want to be consumed by it and

382
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Speaker 1: I've got stuff to do and I've got a parent,

383
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Speaker 1: and particularly around grief. Yeah, like I really just don't

384
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Speaker 1: allow myself to stop and feel, particularly with Rambo. I

385
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Speaker 1: just honestly, if I'm being truth, I just find it

386
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Speaker 1: really fucking hard and then I find a kind of

387
00:16:22,681 --> 00:16:25,441
Speaker 1: drown in it for days or for weeks on end,

388
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Speaker 1: and I feel like I can't show up and get

389
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Speaker 1: what I need to get done. But I need to

390
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Speaker 1: find room for grief to be in my life and

391
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Speaker 1: still be able to live my life. I don't know,

392
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Speaker 1: it's hard to explain. Yeah, I think unless she's like

393
00:16:38,361 --> 00:16:41,281
Speaker 1: everyone's experienced grief, but everyone copes in different ways. Some

394
00:16:41,321 --> 00:16:43,881
Speaker 1: people drink, somebody turn to drugs. Some people just distract,

395
00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:46,121
Speaker 1: some people pretend it's not there. Other people's drowning it.

396
00:16:46,161 --> 00:16:48,361
Speaker 1: Like it's it's different for everyone, and I don't think

397
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Speaker 1: there is a right way to do it.

398
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Speaker 2: No, That's the thing with grief that there's yeah on

399
00:16:52,841 --> 00:16:55,961
Speaker 2: like how to process through it. They can go different

400
00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:58,401
Speaker 2: levels of grief and different stages of grief, but how

401
00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:00,321
Speaker 2: you show up in it is so unique to you.

402
00:17:00,801 --> 00:17:03,081
Speaker 2: It is figuring out what works for you and just.

403
00:17:03,001 --> 00:17:05,961
Speaker 1: Really allowing whatever you're feeling to actually like arise and

404
00:17:06,001 --> 00:17:08,400
Speaker 1: be there. Like I realized, I get a lot of

405
00:17:08,401 --> 00:17:11,440
Speaker 1: survivors guilt that it's just so uncomfortable with me that

406
00:17:11,481 --> 00:17:13,721
Speaker 1: I just like distract. Yeah, since I feel that, I'm like, oh,

407
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,720
Speaker 1: go clean the house, what do you do it? Like

408
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,640
Speaker 1: I'm going to get on my phone and do something

409
00:17:17,721 --> 00:17:20,681
Speaker 1: and work. Yeah, I can't like sit with it. So

410
00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:23,321
Speaker 1: I'm bringing more of that in this year because I

411
00:17:23,321 --> 00:17:25,921
Speaker 1: think it'll help me rather than just let it build up. Yeah,

412
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,441
Speaker 1: because it does. It builds up. Then you feel anxious.

413
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:31,960
Speaker 1: And then my last one I've got is deepening my

414
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Speaker 1: connection with the dark feminine, like sensual energy even more.

415
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,840
Speaker 1: We love that, Yeah, because I think there's like dark

416
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Speaker 1: and light to everything, but some of it's dark doesn't

417
00:17:40,961 --> 00:17:44,880
Speaker 1: mean negative. I think dark feminine and sexual energy is

418
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Speaker 1: just the things that you think are shameful, whether it's kinks,

419
00:17:49,681 --> 00:17:53,080
Speaker 1: whether it's desires, whether it's fantasies, whether it's just having

420
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Speaker 1: the conversations. I just want to like lean into that more,

421
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Speaker 1: and not only for myself, but when I raised Tala

422
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Speaker 1: and Taj, but my friends as well and our community.

423
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Speaker 1: I just want everyone to be able to be fully

424
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,041
Speaker 1: in touch with all their desires and all what lights

425
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,041
Speaker 1: them up and all of what makes them feel good,

426
00:18:09,441 --> 00:18:12,160
Speaker 1: so that it doesn't have to feel shameful, feel heavy

427
00:18:12,281 --> 00:18:15,480
Speaker 1: to talk about blood alone experience with your partner. Yeah,

428
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,360
Speaker 1: so I want to lean more into that. I feel

429
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,440
Speaker 1: like I've come a long way with it, but the

430
00:18:19,561 --> 00:18:21,321
Speaker 1: same with curiosity is always more to learn.

431
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,041
Speaker 2: So I think it's a fun place to explore the

432
00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:26,840
Speaker 2: way how you explained it. It's the things that you

433
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 2: think you may be shameful of, you think other people

434
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,161
Speaker 2: are going to go, oh, that's fucking weird. Dark seems

435
00:18:31,441 --> 00:18:34,121
Speaker 2: the word dark feels negative, but it's high because it's dark,

436
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,241
Speaker 2: a shameful or.

437
00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:36,880
Speaker 1: No, it's actually no, it's like integrated.

438
00:18:36,961 --> 00:18:39,640
Speaker 2: It's like such a beautiful part of like the feminine experience.

439
00:18:39,681 --> 00:18:43,641
Speaker 2: So yeah, sexual energy and feminine energy. It just can

440
00:18:43,681 --> 00:18:46,681
Speaker 2: be perceived as bad or wrong because people associate dark

441
00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:50,001
Speaker 2: feminine with like manipulation or control.

442
00:18:49,681 --> 00:18:51,561
Speaker 1: Or things like that, when in actual fact it's not.

443
00:18:51,681 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 2: It's like integrated power, and it's like boundaries and like

444
00:18:54,921 --> 00:18:57,321
Speaker 2: fire and sexual embodiment.

445
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,321
Speaker 1: Like it's really like beautiful, fierce energy. Yeah, and it

446
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,400
Speaker 1: also comes back to being unbound, like it's just fully free, yes,

447
00:19:03,521 --> 00:19:06,481
Speaker 1: like regardless of what she desires. Yeah, I mean years ago,

448
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 1: I'll be fully honest, if someone was to come to

449
00:19:08,201 --> 00:19:11,160
Speaker 1: me and say that their kink was I don't know,

450
00:19:11,241 --> 00:19:13,921
Speaker 1: being whacked or tied up, I'm like, Oh, that's fucking weird.

451
00:19:14,441 --> 00:19:16,441
Speaker 1: Whereas now I'm like, oh my gosh, tell me more,

452
00:19:16,481 --> 00:19:18,761
Speaker 1: Like what do you like about being curried up? What's

453
00:19:18,761 --> 00:19:20,720
Speaker 1: that sensation you get in your body? Or what that

454
00:19:20,761 --> 00:19:23,041
Speaker 1: do you feel? Yeah? Is it like the feeling of

455
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,841
Speaker 1: not being in control? Like I want to know more.

456
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,121
Speaker 1: I want to understand it, because if I was to say, oh,

457
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:28,720
Speaker 1: that's so weird, it's like I haven't even tried it.

458
00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:30,720
Speaker 1: I gotta say that's weird or wouldn't like it if

459
00:19:30,721 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 1: I haven't actually tried that.

460
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,761
Speaker 2: Yeah, does it feel like you don't feel judgmental towards no,

461
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,640
Speaker 2: those things because you've been able to come into your

462
00:19:37,681 --> 00:19:38,041
Speaker 2: own more.

463
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,321
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't judge yourself anymore. It's exactly right. If

464
00:19:40,321 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 1: you're judging other people, it's just a mirror that you're

465
00:19:42,321 --> 00:19:44,561
Speaker 1: judging yourself. And that was me sexually. I would judge

466
00:19:44,561 --> 00:19:47,521
Speaker 1: every woman for wearing clothes, for dancing, for doing whatever,

467
00:19:47,721 --> 00:19:50,240
Speaker 1: being a certain way it was. Now I don't have

468
00:19:50,321 --> 00:19:52,360
Speaker 1: that on myself. I'm just like, oh my gosh, showing

469
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,321
Speaker 1: me more, tell me more. I want to know more. Yeah,

470
00:19:54,321 --> 00:19:56,761
Speaker 1: I'm so curious on what everyone's desires and kinks are,

471
00:19:57,001 --> 00:19:59,361
Speaker 1: where they came from, Like do you fully explore them?

472
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,840
Speaker 1: How does that look like? Yeah, I'm saying for your partner,

473
00:20:02,041 --> 00:20:04,120
Speaker 1: like I love it. It's so fun. Yeah, and it

474
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,041
Speaker 1: gets to be fun. I think the more that we

475
00:20:06,561 --> 00:20:08,921
Speaker 1: talk about it on things like the podcast, I don't

476
00:20:08,921 --> 00:20:10,441
Speaker 1: see a lot of people talk about this. I hope

477
00:20:10,441 --> 00:20:13,041
Speaker 1: it just becomes more normalized and even matter retreats and

478
00:20:13,041 --> 00:20:15,801
Speaker 1: stuff like I just I cannot wait to have those

479
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,961
Speaker 1: safe spaces where women can just talk about this with

480
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,961
Speaker 1: me and you and it's like, yeah, cool, tell us more. Yeah,

481
00:20:20,961 --> 00:20:24,360
Speaker 1: it's not like you judgment yeah, like why do you

482
00:20:24,441 --> 00:20:26,481
Speaker 1: like that? And then there's the ripple effect if we

483
00:20:26,521 --> 00:20:29,001
Speaker 1: do that, and then our community girls do that, whether

484
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:31,200
Speaker 1: that's online or at our Barley retreat or whatever, and

485
00:20:31,201 --> 00:20:32,561
Speaker 1: then they go do it with their friends and it's

486
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 1: just this like ripple effect that it becomes more normal.

487
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,120
Speaker 2: And then overall everyone's going to feel so much less

488
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 2: shame and what they like or they want, who they

489
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,400
Speaker 2: are and what is actually true for them, so that,

490
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,041
Speaker 2: like what you said, when they can go do it

491
00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:47,121
Speaker 2: with their partner, they feel safe to explore it. Even

492
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,681
Speaker 2: when they're exploring with themselves, they feel like they don't

493
00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:52,321
Speaker 2: need to judge themselves or shame themselves or even shut

494
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 2: themselves down for being like, oh wow, you know what,

495
00:20:54,281 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 2: actually like this?

496
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,920
Speaker 1: So I want to explore this. So I want to

497
00:20:56,921 --> 00:20:59,521
Speaker 1: be a curious human explore myself. It's so fun being

498
00:20:59,561 --> 00:21:02,801
Speaker 1: curious because you actually get to make everything fun.

499
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:06,001
Speaker 2: And that plays Detroit's curiosity and also feel freedom in

500
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 2: curiosity is such a beautiful place to be.

501
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 1: It's so fun. Yeah, so I just want to bring

502
00:21:10,241 --> 00:21:13,441
Speaker 1: more of that in my outs. It's pretty obvious ones

503
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:16,001
Speaker 1: with doom scrolling. We recently put a couple of months

504
00:21:16,001 --> 00:21:19,161
Speaker 1: ago actually the time limit on our phones. So yeah,

505
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,041
Speaker 1: it alarms us when we've been on our phone for

506
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,361
Speaker 1: longer than two hours. And look, there's some days where

507
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,120
Speaker 1: I ignore it. Some days I say, remind me of

508
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,360
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes if I've still got work to do, like editing,

509
00:21:27,521 --> 00:21:29,201
Speaker 1: because we work from our phone. So it is hard

510
00:21:29,281 --> 00:21:32,441
Speaker 1: but fully guilty of having doom scrolling. And once I've

511
00:21:32,441 --> 00:21:34,561
Speaker 1: done it half an hour an hour, I'm like, I

512
00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:37,121
Speaker 1: don't even fucking remember what I've watched. That was such

513
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,920
Speaker 1: a waste of time. You're not even like consciously aware

514
00:21:39,921 --> 00:21:42,121
Speaker 1: of what you're con doing. No, So less of that

515
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,041
Speaker 1: and more reading. So that's more of an into the

516
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 1: need to fix always within me, of like wanting to

517
00:21:48,521 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 1: fix problems, fix people's pain. I think you can fix pain,

518
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,681
Speaker 1: but like take it away and just like the rescue

519
00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:57,961
Speaker 1: our archetype in me just wants to fix everything. Or

520
00:21:58,041 --> 00:22:00,400
Speaker 1: someone's upset, or they're struggling with money, or they're struggling

521
00:22:00,441 --> 00:22:01,640
Speaker 1: with this and that like, let me fix it. You

522
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,360
Speaker 1: want to relieve them? Yeah, I don't want you being

523
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,041
Speaker 1: in pain. I can fix that beautiful thing. But it's

524
00:22:06,041 --> 00:22:08,640
Speaker 1: also not productive, especially with my kids too, Like they

525
00:22:08,681 --> 00:22:10,721
Speaker 1: need to learn the struggle. They need to learn that

526
00:22:10,761 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 1: this consequence. Link need to learn that they have to

527
00:22:13,241 --> 00:22:16,921
Speaker 1: work hard to figure some things out. So yeah, it's

528
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,640
Speaker 1: got to start with me. Obviously. Before I teach that

529
00:22:18,681 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 1: to my kids, I've got to really embody that. So

530
00:22:20,521 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: that's one of my outs. It's a good one, rushing

531
00:22:23,001 --> 00:22:25,521
Speaker 1: through discomfort, which kind of goes back to bringing more

532
00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:28,281
Speaker 1: in of feeling. You know, what's out its being mysterious

533
00:22:28,321 --> 00:22:30,441
Speaker 1: and wearing a mask. I don't think I wear a mask,

534
00:22:30,521 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 1: but I think last year there was a trend of

535
00:22:32,241 --> 00:22:35,160
Speaker 1: like the mysterious girl. Yeah. I always was a bit

536
00:22:35,281 --> 00:22:37,721
Speaker 1: envious that I wasn't mysterious. I'm like, that's so cool. Yeah,

537
00:22:37,761 --> 00:22:39,400
Speaker 1: like everyone knows anything about her, and she's just like

538
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,400
Speaker 1: a mysterious like black cat that everyone wants to know

539
00:22:41,481 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 1: things about. And now I'm like, no, that's not cool anymore. Like,

540
00:22:44,961 --> 00:22:47,401
Speaker 1: actually tell me about your childhood trauma. Yeah, I want

541
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 1: to know who you are. Take that mask off, let's

542
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,201
Speaker 1: show me what you're actually feeling. Don't tell me about

543
00:22:52,201 --> 00:22:54,081
Speaker 1: the weather. I don't want to know what brain your

544
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,441
Speaker 1: shoes are, you know, like, actually let me see you. Yeah,

545
00:22:57,481 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 1: because that's how we're going to have a real beautiful connection.

546
00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:03,201
Speaker 2: I think there was almost like a praise season of

547
00:23:03,441 --> 00:23:06,681
Speaker 2: the black hat and that mysterious kind of woman. Yeah,

548
00:23:06,721 --> 00:23:08,841
Speaker 2: like when you're around that, even as a friend or

549
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 2: even with partners, like, it doesn't feel safe. No, it

550
00:23:11,761 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 2: does not feel And I think like everyone is becoming

551
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,521
Speaker 2: more and more aware of like how much emotional safety

552
00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:17,801
Speaker 2: is so important in dynamics, and when you don't have that,

553
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,281
Speaker 2: it feels so empty. It feels empty, feel scary, you

554
00:23:20,321 --> 00:23:22,561
Speaker 2: feel disconnected, doesn't feel safe, you don't feel like you

555
00:23:22,561 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 2: can open up.

556
00:23:23,241 --> 00:23:26,640
Speaker 1: There's an invisible wall there. Yeah. So that's out for me,

557
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,521
Speaker 1: A good one. Made up stories in my head about

558
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,521
Speaker 1: not feeling like I'm enough for my loved ones. This

559
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,921
Speaker 1: is so reoccurring, so like I feel like I've said

560
00:23:33,921 --> 00:23:35,601
Speaker 1: this every single year, but it's just something that I'm

561
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,521
Speaker 1: still working on constantly. Like have the thoughts that like

562
00:23:38,561 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 1: I'm not deserving of my friendships or my relationships, or

563
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,321
Speaker 1: that I'm just not good enough for and it goes

564
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 1: back to like an abandoned wound. I think they're just

565
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: gonna leave. Like sometimes look at you, I'm like, why

566
00:23:47,001 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 1: does she like me? Oh? Why does she want to

567
00:23:49,241 --> 00:23:51,161
Speaker 1: hang out with me? Can relate? You know in those

568
00:23:51,201 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 1: days where you feel a bit more like sensitive or

569
00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: like irritating yourself, Yeah, you're like, why the fuck does

570
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:56,961
Speaker 1: she want to I don't eve want to hang out

571
00:23:56,961 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 1: with myself right now? Oh?

572
00:23:58,001 --> 00:24:00,561
Speaker 2: They you know you have you have like anxious moments

573
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,521
Speaker 2: or you're feeling a bit wobbly in one area of

574
00:24:02,561 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 2: life and that leaks into other areas.

575
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,041
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, just stop that, like, stop making up

576
00:24:07,041 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: stories that people don't like you. Yeah. So I just

577
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 1: want to put it on there so that I'm aware

578
00:24:10,681 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 1: of it so when it comes up to just like

579
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,561
Speaker 1: not squish it, but just like let us sit there

580
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,001
Speaker 1: and just like breathe through it so it can dissolve,

581
00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 1: because otherwise it just gets bigger. Yeah, this is a

582
00:24:21,241 --> 00:24:23,360
Speaker 1: momlife on but trying to break up or control every

583
00:24:23,441 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 1: single fight that my kids have. I'm definitely struggling with

584
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: this at the moment. And I look at Steve and

585
00:24:28,721 --> 00:24:31,961
Speaker 1: he's cool as a fucking cucumber. Nothing bothers that. Man,

586
00:24:32,041 --> 00:24:34,681
Speaker 1: He's just sitting back and I'm like, are you not triggered?

587
00:24:34,721 --> 00:24:37,160
Speaker 1: If that's not over stimulating fear or like when they

588
00:24:37,201 --> 00:24:39,801
Speaker 1: say something nasty, I'm like, does that not break your heart?

589
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 1: And he looks at me, he's like, Babe, they're kids.

590
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,481
Speaker 1: I'm not going to take it personally. Their brains are

591
00:24:44,481 --> 00:24:46,640
Speaker 1: not developed enough. They don't know how to regulate. We

592
00:24:46,721 --> 00:24:49,561
Speaker 1: know how hard that's. As an adult, they're gonna have arguments,

593
00:24:49,561 --> 00:24:51,601
Speaker 1: they're going to disagree, Like what can you do? You've

594
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,801
Speaker 1: got to let them just like go through their emotions

595
00:24:53,801 --> 00:24:56,321
Speaker 1: and trying to like shut it down. And he's so right,

596
00:24:56,681 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 1: but I find it really difficult, Like I want to

597
00:24:58,681 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 1: stop the fights because for me, it's too much for me.

598
00:25:01,921 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 1: I grew up with like yelling and noise, so when

599
00:25:03,681 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 1: it gets too noise and overstimulate, it's all about me,

600
00:25:06,001 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: Like it's too much for me. So if I stop

601
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:11,001
Speaker 1: the argument, then I feel in control, I feel calm,

602
00:25:11,201 --> 00:25:13,721
Speaker 1: whereas I actually need to get better at I can

603
00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:16,241
Speaker 1: still navigate and help them, but also like let them

604
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,921
Speaker 1: learn how to do it together. Yeah, as siblings, it's

605
00:25:19,921 --> 00:25:21,721
Speaker 1: a lot to navigate, but I realize how much I'm

606
00:25:21,721 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 1: trying to control that right now, and it's not serving me.

607
00:25:25,241 --> 00:25:27,761
Speaker 1: It's actually making it worse. I think, Yeah, and just

608
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,481
Speaker 1: leaning on Steve more for that because he letting lead

609
00:25:30,481 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 1: the torch in that area. He's very good at that.

610
00:25:32,921 --> 00:25:35,401
Speaker 1: Like he's just so regulated and calm. That's what I've

611
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:39,001
Speaker 1: always loved about him taking things so personally, that's got

612
00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: to go. Take a look. First week. I had this

613
00:25:41,721 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 1: conversation this morning.

614
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

615
00:25:43,281 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 1: Literally, sometimes even when I'm at public and I see

616
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,841
Speaker 1: someone like look at me for a long period of time,

617
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,041
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, they fucking hate me. Yes, you have

618
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: said that before. Actually instantly I jumped straight to like

619
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,160
Speaker 1: they hate me. And then I'll get a message of

620
00:25:54,241 --> 00:25:55,761
Speaker 1: DM and be like, oh my gosh, I saw you pack.

621
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,521
Speaker 1: Pharaoh's too shy to come up and say hello, but

622
00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,961
Speaker 1: you look beautiful. You looked happier or like I wanted

623
00:25:59,961 --> 00:26:02,041
Speaker 1: to say hello and I was too shy. I'm like,

624
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I just assumed they hated me.

625
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 2: You know, the worst case scenarios stop that, Yeah, that's out,

626
00:26:08,921 --> 00:26:10,241
Speaker 2: it's going out, it's going out.

627
00:26:10,321 --> 00:26:12,801
Speaker 1: And then two funny ones. I'm sorry, but scrunches, got

628
00:26:12,801 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: to go. Don't like them. They're ugly. They're better for

629
00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:18,321
Speaker 1: your hair, But every time I'm scrunchy and I'm like,

630
00:26:18,921 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 1: absolutely not take that out. Ye see, I feel like

631
00:26:21,921 --> 00:26:23,921
Speaker 1: you see more of a like a clean girl aesthetic.

632
00:26:24,041 --> 00:26:27,041
Speaker 1: I do like girl slick, small out of my face

633
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,401
Speaker 1: you can't see, yes, And then I've never been into them,

634
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,640
Speaker 1: but I'm sorry, crocs get the fuck out. I agree.

635
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,640
Speaker 1: They are so ugly. I hate them. Why are they

636
00:26:37,681 --> 00:26:42,321
Speaker 1: ever think? Maybe I'm little kids? Okay, kind of cute, comfy, yeah,

637
00:26:42,441 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 1: maybe safe, I don't know. Adults. No, put some havanas on,

638
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:51,241
Speaker 1: like even just put some plain sandals on, some thongs.

639
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,321
Speaker 1: If Steve wore crocs, I think I would dry up

640
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:58,561
Speaker 1: like the Sahara desert. Honestly, actually funny, I couldn't. It's

641
00:26:58,561 --> 00:27:01,321
Speaker 1: an Yeah, that's fair. I'm sorry it sounds really judgy,

642
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 1: but just know that that's cool. You like what you're like,

643
00:27:03,441 --> 00:27:05,481
Speaker 1: you don't like to don't like I do it? Cool?

644
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:07,561
Speaker 1: All right? That's I love all. I love the ins

645
00:27:07,561 --> 00:27:08,961
Speaker 1: and out. It's so much variety in there.

646
00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:11,241
Speaker 2: But also concede that it's like such a cool year

647
00:27:11,281 --> 00:27:12,481
Speaker 2: for growth for you and like.

648
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 1: Still so much growth to do.

649
00:27:13,801 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 2: Hey, crazy, you know, fine tuning areas of your life

650
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 2: that you're like, oh, I know that this is not

651
00:27:18,281 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 2: a problem but something a problem area that I would

652
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 2: like to work on.

653
00:27:21,201 --> 00:27:24,681
Speaker 1: And I think that's really cool. It's like this new season. Yeah,

654
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: it is really cool. Fine tuning. That's a really nice

655
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 1: one in whatever we like it. Yeah, okay, let's go

656
00:27:30,561 --> 00:27:31,161
Speaker 1: show it. Yeah.

657
00:27:31,201 --> 00:27:36,241
Speaker 2: My inn sisia, trusting myself and my ability slash capabilities more.

658
00:27:36,761 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 2: I think for a really long time, I really I

659
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:41,921
Speaker 2: really had this belief that I couldn't do things about

660
00:27:41,961 --> 00:27:44,360
Speaker 2: my dad. Yeah, you know, because my dad has always

661
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,201
Speaker 2: kind of been and I'm very fortunate to be able

662
00:27:46,241 --> 00:27:48,681
Speaker 2: to say this, but he's always kind of been there

663
00:27:48,721 --> 00:27:51,001
Speaker 2: for me and been like a savior of some sorts,

664
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,881
Speaker 2: you know, but to the point where I really learnt

665
00:27:53,921 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 2: on human times where I really needed to learn my

666
00:27:55,681 --> 00:27:59,041
Speaker 2: own lessons. And I always felt like every time I

667
00:27:59,041 --> 00:28:01,281
Speaker 2: got really really hard, this was when I was younger,

668
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 2: when things got really hard with lean on my dad

669
00:28:03,241 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 2: instead of myself.

670
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

671
00:28:04,721 --> 00:28:07,321
Speaker 2: And so this last like four and a half years,

672
00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:09,561
Speaker 2: five years has really been about me learning how to

673
00:28:09,561 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 2: trust in myself more and learn how to really like

674
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 2: anchor into my own self leadership loved, And so with

675
00:28:15,241 --> 00:28:17,880
Speaker 2: that self leadership comes not relying on other people to

676
00:28:17,921 --> 00:28:20,801
Speaker 2: solve my problems and learning how to be my own

677
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,400
Speaker 2: savior in that sense beautiful. And I think just with

678
00:28:23,561 --> 00:28:26,001
Speaker 2: that is like I feel like I really want to

679
00:28:26,041 --> 00:28:27,561
Speaker 2: and I feel this feels really true for me at

680
00:28:27,561 --> 00:28:30,521
Speaker 2: the moment, just anchoring into trust for myself. Like I

681
00:28:30,521 --> 00:28:31,880
Speaker 2: feel like I'm at a point where I'm like, I

682
00:28:31,921 --> 00:28:34,241
Speaker 2: can trust in myself, I can trust in my abilities,

683
00:28:34,241 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 2: my capabilities, what I want to do, the ideas that

684
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,641
Speaker 2: I have, decision the way that i want to execute

685
00:28:39,641 --> 00:28:42,321
Speaker 2: those things. Like I feel like I'm listening more and

686
00:28:42,401 --> 00:28:45,081
Speaker 2: more to my intuition, and I feel like the more

687
00:28:45,121 --> 00:28:47,921
Speaker 2: the stronger I've gotten on that, the better I lead myself.

688
00:28:48,001 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 1: So cool. You know.

689
00:28:49,881 --> 00:28:53,721
Speaker 2: Also in is optimal health skin and peptides. Yeah, So

690
00:28:54,721 --> 00:28:56,681
Speaker 2: I've really always wanted to be somebody who really got

691
00:28:56,681 --> 00:28:58,881
Speaker 2: their health to like an optimal level, Like I've always

692
00:28:58,881 --> 00:29:00,161
Speaker 2: wanted to be like, oh my god, as soon as

693
00:29:00,161 --> 00:29:01,641
Speaker 2: I can afford it, I'm going to have a health

694
00:29:01,681 --> 00:29:03,121
Speaker 2: budget and it's going to be the first thing that

695
00:29:03,161 --> 00:29:05,641
Speaker 2: I think about and do and I'm I'm really seeing

696
00:29:05,641 --> 00:29:07,561
Speaker 2: like these signals in my body over the last few

697
00:29:07,641 --> 00:29:09,601
Speaker 2: years that I've kind of like ignored and haven't really

698
00:29:09,641 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 2: taken seriously, and I've just kind of been like, I'm

699
00:29:11,481 --> 00:29:14,481
Speaker 2: putting my foot down. This is where I take myself seriously,

700
00:29:14,601 --> 00:29:16,641
Speaker 2: and where I take my health seriously too. Of like

701
00:29:17,041 --> 00:29:19,561
Speaker 2: not you know, going back and forth with consuming gluten

702
00:29:19,561 --> 00:29:21,681
Speaker 2: because I sometimes I can slip and I know that

703
00:29:21,721 --> 00:29:23,881
Speaker 2: my body can't digest it properly and it comes out

704
00:29:23,881 --> 00:29:25,881
Speaker 2: of my skin and I get faced with the problem

705
00:29:25,921 --> 00:29:27,881
Speaker 2: every time, and I'm just like, no, we're not doing

706
00:29:27,921 --> 00:29:30,841
Speaker 2: that anymore to myself, you know, listening to my body,

707
00:29:31,281 --> 00:29:35,161
Speaker 2: so optimal health, optimal skin. But overall that is like

708
00:29:35,681 --> 00:29:38,161
Speaker 2: what I put in my body, how I treat my body,

709
00:29:38,361 --> 00:29:40,321
Speaker 2: you know, how I honor the things that I say

710
00:29:40,321 --> 00:29:42,841
Speaker 2: that I want to honor, like sleep and water and

711
00:29:42,881 --> 00:29:45,081
Speaker 2: making sure that I actually hit my protein so that

712
00:29:45,121 --> 00:29:47,481
Speaker 2: like I don't lose any you know, muscle density or

713
00:29:47,561 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 2: bone density or like things like actually thinking for the

714
00:29:50,241 --> 00:29:51,521
Speaker 2: longevity of things I love.

715
00:29:51,841 --> 00:29:52,001
Speaker 1: You know.

716
00:29:53,081 --> 00:29:57,321
Speaker 2: Also, in is more scheduled off time to distinctively separate

717
00:29:57,361 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 2: work time, so just really yeah, it is a bit

718
00:30:01,041 --> 00:30:03,161
Speaker 2: of a tricky one. But I just even if it's

719
00:30:03,161 --> 00:30:06,081
Speaker 2: like one day of the week where I have four

720
00:30:06,121 --> 00:30:09,321
Speaker 2: hours or a specific time in my calendar, that's like

721
00:30:09,561 --> 00:30:12,561
Speaker 2: you are off. Even if it's a Sunday, I can

722
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:14,641
Speaker 2: still post, I can still put stories up, I can

723
00:30:14,681 --> 00:30:17,081
Speaker 2: steal all the things. But within this four to six hours,

724
00:30:17,161 --> 00:30:19,721
Speaker 2: I am doing absolutely nothing for work, and I'm going

725
00:30:19,761 --> 00:30:22,761
Speaker 2: and being out in nature. I'm going painting, I'm going

726
00:30:22,761 --> 00:30:25,521
Speaker 2: and doing an exercise and going golfing or like you know,

727
00:30:25,601 --> 00:30:28,721
Speaker 2: top golf, whatever, just doing something that gets me out.

728
00:30:28,521 --> 00:30:30,041
Speaker 1: Of my head and into my body.

729
00:30:30,281 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 2: Because I truly believe that, like your off time is

730
00:30:32,241 --> 00:30:35,041
Speaker 2: so important. And I find like when I create a

731
00:30:35,041 --> 00:30:36,841
Speaker 2: lot of time for like what I call like thing time,

732
00:30:37,681 --> 00:30:40,041
Speaker 2: I find that I'm so connected to myself. I have

733
00:30:40,121 --> 00:30:42,361
Speaker 2: all these ideas come through. I feel like I get

734
00:30:42,401 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 2: these quote unquote like downloads that come through and I'm like,

735
00:30:44,761 --> 00:30:47,121
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I all of the questions that I

736
00:30:47,161 --> 00:30:49,521
Speaker 2: needed answers too, I now have the answers to because

737
00:30:49,521 --> 00:30:51,161
Speaker 2: I've created enough space for them to come through.

738
00:30:51,521 --> 00:30:53,601
Speaker 1: So just creating more of that off time, I love

739
00:30:53,641 --> 00:30:54,521
Speaker 1: that so good.

740
00:30:55,561 --> 00:31:01,601
Speaker 2: Now more intentional present slash community time, so I really loved,

741
00:31:01,641 --> 00:31:04,561
Speaker 2: like over the Christmas break, like us doing Christmas together

742
00:31:04,841 --> 00:31:06,121
Speaker 2: and a couple of things that I did with my

743
00:31:06,201 --> 00:31:09,321
Speaker 2: sister and things like that, And I just I really

744
00:31:09,441 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 2: enjoy the community aspect and I've always wanted that.

745
00:31:12,681 --> 00:31:13,681
Speaker 1: I've always craved it.

746
00:31:14,121 --> 00:31:15,841
Speaker 2: I've always you know, we joke about like getting a

747
00:31:15,921 --> 00:31:19,281
Speaker 2: compound together and like looked into it, like getting a

748
00:31:19,281 --> 00:31:21,841
Speaker 2: compound and getting everyone to live together so that we

749
00:31:21,841 --> 00:31:23,521
Speaker 2: can all build our own community.

750
00:31:23,601 --> 00:31:25,961
Speaker 1: And to me, that is like the ultimate dream. Really

751
00:31:26,241 --> 00:31:26,881
Speaker 1: love to do that.

752
00:31:26,961 --> 00:31:29,081
Speaker 2: And so for me, I would love to create more

753
00:31:29,081 --> 00:31:32,241
Speaker 2: intentionality around scheduling in every couple of weeks where there's

754
00:31:32,241 --> 00:31:35,601
Speaker 2: something locked in where we're playing card games, we're grosting dinner,

755
00:31:35,761 --> 00:31:37,401
Speaker 2: you know, we're coming over to each other's houses and

756
00:31:37,441 --> 00:31:40,161
Speaker 2: everyone's coming together and like supporting each other. That for me,

757
00:31:40,441 --> 00:31:42,441
Speaker 2: would like, I think, be so fulfilling. For me, It's

758
00:31:42,481 --> 00:31:45,161
Speaker 2: so beautiful. I love that one. Yeah, that's an inn

759
00:31:45,281 --> 00:31:45,761
Speaker 2: for sure.

760
00:31:46,561 --> 00:31:46,761
Speaker 1: Now.

761
00:31:47,441 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 2: Movement stepper dance like just movement in Jess. So for me,

762
00:31:52,081 --> 00:31:54,121
Speaker 2: I'm like kind of loving the stepper at the moment.

763
00:31:54,401 --> 00:31:57,401
Speaker 2: Really want to get back into dancing like plot is walking.

764
00:31:57,801 --> 00:32:00,241
Speaker 2: For me, I find like movement and just even if

765
00:32:00,241 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 2: it's just walking, is a game changer for me. I

766
00:32:03,241 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 2: get out of my head, I'm in my body. I'm

767
00:32:05,321 --> 00:32:07,721
Speaker 2: get to be present. I find it's the time where

768
00:32:07,761 --> 00:32:10,601
Speaker 2: I'm the most like taking in everything. I'm like appreciating

769
00:32:10,601 --> 00:32:13,561
Speaker 2: the earth and like the sunset or the sunrise. I

770
00:32:13,721 --> 00:32:15,321
Speaker 2: get my feet in the sand and I feel like

771
00:32:15,361 --> 00:32:17,601
Speaker 2: it really anchors me and it makes me feel really grounded.

772
00:32:17,881 --> 00:32:20,921
Speaker 2: So I guess overall, I would love to implement more

773
00:32:21,001 --> 00:32:23,161
Speaker 2: movement and just stay really consistent with that so I

774
00:32:23,201 --> 00:32:24,321
Speaker 2: can be more present.

775
00:32:24,641 --> 00:32:27,561
Speaker 1: Staycase and travel always. Well, I mean that kind of

776
00:32:27,601 --> 00:32:29,761
Speaker 1: represents what we already have coming up this year and

777
00:32:29,961 --> 00:32:33,041
Speaker 1: five more of Yeah, it's almost like amplifying. I think.

778
00:32:33,041 --> 00:32:35,481
Speaker 2: I just like, I really enjoy our staycase and also travel.

779
00:32:35,481 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 2: We've got a few trips coming up this year, so

780
00:32:37,801 --> 00:32:42,161
Speaker 2: I'm really looking forward to the lessons and the experiences

781
00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:44,121
Speaker 2: that I'm going to have on those trips that I

782
00:32:44,161 --> 00:32:45,361
Speaker 2: know will change me as a woman.

783
00:32:45,481 --> 00:32:47,161
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think I'm really excited for that.

784
00:32:48,481 --> 00:32:51,521
Speaker 2: The evening quality relationships, so just taking like you know, amplifying,

785
00:32:51,601 --> 00:32:54,681
Speaker 2: amplifying all of my relationships to that next level and

786
00:32:55,081 --> 00:32:59,681
Speaker 2: solidifying even stronger bonds than what I think is possible. Yeah,

787
00:33:00,401 --> 00:33:03,121
Speaker 2: scaling and continuous growth. So that's both in business and

788
00:33:03,161 --> 00:33:04,321
Speaker 2: also personal growth.

789
00:33:04,361 --> 00:33:08,681
Speaker 1: Beautiful. So yeah, that's about all. That's my inns in outs.

790
00:33:08,841 --> 00:33:11,841
Speaker 2: I love all those my outs are feeling small and

791
00:33:11,921 --> 00:33:14,281
Speaker 2: inferior or not capable enough. So it kind of ties

792
00:33:14,321 --> 00:33:19,081
Speaker 2: into like really trusting myself more and not allowing myself

793
00:33:19,441 --> 00:33:22,121
Speaker 2: to get in my own head about any doubts that

794
00:33:22,121 --> 00:33:26,361
Speaker 2: I have about myself, any fears, fears of feeling not capable,

795
00:33:26,561 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 2: fears of feeling small, inferior, or anything like that. Just

796
00:33:29,281 --> 00:33:31,361
Speaker 2: like not allowing the little thoughts that I have to

797
00:33:31,481 --> 00:33:33,481
Speaker 2: kind of like take up space in my mind.

798
00:33:34,721 --> 00:33:35,441
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like.

799
00:33:35,401 --> 00:33:37,641
Speaker 2: Seeing them with really neutral energy and just going, you know,

800
00:33:37,721 --> 00:33:40,001
Speaker 2: I'm just going to let you go, like actually it's

801
00:33:40,001 --> 00:33:40,841
Speaker 2: okay that you're here.

802
00:33:41,441 --> 00:33:42,921
Speaker 1: I'm just going to let you go. Not serving me,

803
00:33:43,041 --> 00:33:45,601
Speaker 1: you know. It's like that's so outdated.

804
00:33:46,001 --> 00:33:48,281
Speaker 2: It's an outdated way I think of feeling about myself

805
00:33:48,321 --> 00:33:50,001
Speaker 2: and it's not something I want to carry into twenty

806
00:33:50,001 --> 00:33:56,801
Speaker 2: twenty six. Yeah, outs second guessing my intuition. I feel

807
00:33:56,801 --> 00:33:58,561
Speaker 2: like this has been a big year of really trusting

808
00:33:58,601 --> 00:34:01,681
Speaker 2: myself and every single time that I don't, I get

809
00:34:01,721 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 2: reminded why I should. So that's a big one for me,

810
00:34:05,201 --> 00:34:07,881
Speaker 2: not listening to other people's opinions and perspectives over my own.

811
00:34:08,521 --> 00:34:11,121
Speaker 2: So not that I won't take into consideration the people

812
00:34:11,121 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 2: that I respect and love their opinions, it's just more

813
00:34:13,521 --> 00:34:16,281
Speaker 2: about making sure and triple checking that it aligns with me,

814
00:34:16,881 --> 00:34:18,681
Speaker 2: as well as taking on people's feedback.

815
00:34:18,801 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, you give one with a grain of salt because

816
00:34:20,481 --> 00:34:22,921
Speaker 1: it's your life you're feeling. But I also really value

817
00:34:22,961 --> 00:34:23,681
Speaker 1: the people around me.

818
00:34:23,761 --> 00:34:25,961
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm like, I love and appreciate their perspective,

819
00:34:25,961 --> 00:34:28,361
Speaker 2: but I'm also will always be checking with myself first

820
00:34:28,401 --> 00:34:29,201
Speaker 2: of like, Okay, how does this.

821
00:34:29,201 --> 00:34:31,481
Speaker 1: Feel for me? Yeah, it should be no negotiable for sure.

822
00:34:32,241 --> 00:34:37,681
Speaker 2: Not letting people in who aren't good for my heart, yeah, friends,

823
00:34:36,961 --> 00:34:42,321
Speaker 2: new acquaintances, relationships, whoever. Not letting people who aren't good

824
00:34:42,321 --> 00:34:46,161
Speaker 2: for my heart, yeah. Not connecting with others who are

825
00:34:46,921 --> 00:34:49,321
Speaker 2: fully in their eger and unwilling to be vulnerable connect.

826
00:34:49,481 --> 00:34:51,481
Speaker 2: This kind of ties into what you were saying about,

827
00:34:51,481 --> 00:34:55,401
Speaker 2: like the mysterious part. Yes, yeah, just like I don't know,

828
00:34:55,681 --> 00:34:58,681
Speaker 2: just like it doesn't hit the way that I need connection,

829
00:34:59,481 --> 00:35:02,641
Speaker 2: you know, to have selface level conversations and stuff is fine.

830
00:35:02,641 --> 00:35:04,481
Speaker 1: I can do it. I can do it. I can

831
00:35:04,601 --> 00:35:06,321
Speaker 1: do it, but I don't want to, you know.

832
00:35:06,561 --> 00:35:09,201
Speaker 2: It's like, it's fine, I'm capable of having those conversations,

833
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:11,721
Speaker 2: But am I going to create the level of depth

834
00:35:11,761 --> 00:35:14,121
Speaker 2: and connection with you that I ultimately want in my life?

835
00:35:14,361 --> 00:35:17,561
Speaker 2: If the answer is no, I only have so much capacity,

836
00:35:17,761 --> 00:35:19,321
Speaker 2: and it's going to go to the people who can

837
00:35:19,401 --> 00:35:20,721
Speaker 2: give me what I'm putting out.

838
00:35:20,801 --> 00:35:22,801
Speaker 1: Exactly, Why would you waste that time and energy over

839
00:35:22,841 --> 00:35:24,841
Speaker 1: there if you're not getting what you need from it

840
00:35:24,881 --> 00:35:27,401
Speaker 1: absolutely with your close loved ones that you feel alive

841
00:35:27,521 --> 00:35:28,321
Speaker 1: and feel well.

842
00:35:28,321 --> 00:35:30,281
Speaker 2: When I'm surrounded by the people who aren't being their

843
00:35:30,321 --> 00:35:33,881
Speaker 2: vulnerable self, it's energy out for me because you can

844
00:35:33,921 --> 00:35:36,001
Speaker 2: only grow so deep, you know, Whereas like.

845
00:35:35,961 --> 00:35:38,321
Speaker 1: Whenever a round, it's a lot of energy out, it's

846
00:35:38,321 --> 00:35:40,761
Speaker 1: a lot. It's energy leak. Yeah, it is exhausting.

847
00:35:40,841 --> 00:35:42,641
Speaker 2: And so I'd rather be around people where I don't

848
00:35:42,681 --> 00:35:44,681
Speaker 2: have to be on, they don't have to be on.

849
00:35:44,841 --> 00:35:47,841
Speaker 1: And we can just be just be and not get canceled.

850
00:35:50,001 --> 00:35:53,081
Speaker 1: Love that out. Quantity over quality whack.

851
00:35:53,761 --> 00:35:56,561
Speaker 2: It's more intentional and focused on gross It's cool yeah,

852
00:35:56,601 --> 00:36:01,561
Speaker 2: like more, yeah, just quality, quality everything. Yeah, and outstarting

853
00:36:01,561 --> 00:36:03,601
Speaker 2: my leadership and how people see me. So this was

854
00:36:03,641 --> 00:36:06,641
Speaker 2: about my sister gave me a compliment the other day

855
00:36:06,641 --> 00:36:08,841
Speaker 2: and she said something to me and just reflected something

856
00:36:08,881 --> 00:36:10,641
Speaker 2: back to me about what I'm doing in the year

857
00:36:10,681 --> 00:36:12,561
Speaker 2: that I've had and stuff like that, and I was like, oh, wow,

858
00:36:12,561 --> 00:36:14,321
Speaker 2: it's so interesting because the way that she sees me

859
00:36:14,401 --> 00:36:16,561
Speaker 2: is not necessarily the way I see myself.

860
00:36:16,641 --> 00:36:18,201
Speaker 1: Yeah. Interesting, And I thought that.

861
00:36:18,161 --> 00:36:20,441
Speaker 2: Was really interesting because I'm like, oh, I can understand

862
00:36:20,801 --> 00:36:22,761
Speaker 2: with the things that I'm doing why she would feel

863
00:36:22,801 --> 00:36:23,121
Speaker 2: that way.

864
00:36:23,561 --> 00:36:26,001
Speaker 1: But I'm like, why don't I see that about myself yet? Interesting?

865
00:36:26,041 --> 00:36:27,481
Speaker 2: So I think for me, I want to out this

866
00:36:27,561 --> 00:36:30,241
Speaker 2: year like doubting my leadership and how people see me

867
00:36:30,281 --> 00:36:32,201
Speaker 2: because I can learn to trust that, like the woman

868
00:36:32,241 --> 00:36:33,681
Speaker 2: that I've always wanted to be is who I am

869
00:36:33,721 --> 00:36:35,921
Speaker 2: showing up at. Yeah that's cool, you know, and trusting

870
00:36:35,921 --> 00:36:38,561
Speaker 2: that all I'm doing that. So those are my ins

871
00:36:38,561 --> 00:36:38,881
Speaker 2: and outs.

872
00:36:39,041 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 1: I love that. And then we were going to talk

873
00:36:42,081 --> 00:36:46,081
Speaker 1: about about blind spots. Do you want to bringing you on? Yeah?

874
00:36:46,121 --> 00:36:48,841
Speaker 1: For sure, what's a blind spot of yours that you well,

875
00:36:48,841 --> 00:36:50,361
Speaker 1: you're not so blind to now? But you want to

876
00:36:50,401 --> 00:36:53,281
Speaker 1: improve on. And guys, this is not easy to talk

877
00:36:53,281 --> 00:36:55,481
Speaker 1: about tens of thousands of people because when you talk

878
00:36:55,481 --> 00:36:58,841
Speaker 1: about this stuff, it's like you're almost opening up a

879
00:36:58,881 --> 00:37:00,961
Speaker 1: can of worms for people to pick on you or

880
00:37:01,001 --> 00:37:04,161
Speaker 1: to put you down for it or find evidence that

881
00:37:04,321 --> 00:37:06,841
Speaker 1: like you're a bad per But I don't know. We

882
00:37:06,881 --> 00:37:08,441
Speaker 1: just wanted to bring it forward because we all have

883
00:37:08,481 --> 00:37:10,801
Speaker 1: blind spots. We all have things that we need to

884
00:37:10,841 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 1: work on and that we want to be better at.

885
00:37:12,521 --> 00:37:14,921
Speaker 1: If you don't, I think you would lack self awareness

886
00:37:15,081 --> 00:37:18,241
Speaker 1: and being your ego and think your top shit when

887
00:37:18,361 --> 00:37:20,001
Speaker 1: all of us have room to grow and we need

888
00:37:20,041 --> 00:37:21,481
Speaker 1: to get more curious on that and actually be more

889
00:37:21,521 --> 00:37:23,921
Speaker 1: awareness forward so that we can be even that one

890
00:37:24,001 --> 00:37:26,121
Speaker 1: cent better than what we were yesterday. So this isn't

891
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:28,081
Speaker 1: easy for us to talk about, so be kind, but

892
00:37:28,081 --> 00:37:31,641
Speaker 1: we are hoping us bringing us forward. You'll get off

893
00:37:31,641 --> 00:37:33,961
Speaker 1: this podcast and actually like take time to reflect on

894
00:37:34,001 --> 00:37:36,761
Speaker 1: yours and not feel so shameful around us. Yeah. Yeah,

895
00:37:36,801 --> 00:37:37,041
Speaker 1: like that.

896
00:37:38,041 --> 00:37:40,921
Speaker 2: I think a blind spot that I feel like I have,

897
00:37:41,081 --> 00:37:42,841
Speaker 2: or I suppose it would be a thing that I

898
00:37:42,881 --> 00:37:45,161
Speaker 2: would like to work on because I'm aware of it,

899
00:37:45,201 --> 00:37:48,801
Speaker 2: is I can be quite Braddy, and I've really noticed

900
00:37:48,841 --> 00:37:51,481
Speaker 2: like little things come up recently where like if I

901
00:37:51,521 --> 00:37:54,001
Speaker 2: don't get my way or it's not done the way

902
00:37:54,001 --> 00:37:56,081
Speaker 2: that I want it to be done, or you know,

903
00:37:56,201 --> 00:37:58,201
Speaker 2: something like that, then I feel like I can get

904
00:37:58,201 --> 00:38:00,761
Speaker 2: this real brady energy about me where it feels really

905
00:38:00,801 --> 00:38:02,561
Speaker 2: like a sixteen year old kind of version of me,

906
00:38:02,921 --> 00:38:04,721
Speaker 2: you know, young adolescent.

907
00:38:04,721 --> 00:38:06,281
Speaker 1: But what I I want, what I want, I want

908
00:38:06,321 --> 00:38:06,801
Speaker 1: it now, and.

909
00:38:06,761 --> 00:38:08,001
Speaker 2: If I'm not going to get it, then I'm going

910
00:38:08,041 --> 00:38:10,561
Speaker 2: to like, you know, what's the word like protest almost

911
00:38:10,761 --> 00:38:12,561
Speaker 2: you know, I'm gonna put my foot down, I'm gonna stomp,

912
00:38:12,601 --> 00:38:15,521
Speaker 2: and you know, a bit like habitantrum. So it's definitely

913
00:38:15,561 --> 00:38:18,121
Speaker 2: a part of me that is dormant for the most part,

914
00:38:18,161 --> 00:38:21,361
Speaker 2: but I've noticed more recently it's been kind of rearing

915
00:38:21,361 --> 00:38:22,881
Speaker 2: its head and I'm like, oh wow, this part of

916
00:38:22,881 --> 00:38:26,481
Speaker 2: me like exists. I want to work on where I'm

917
00:38:26,481 --> 00:38:29,281
Speaker 2: projecting my own stuff onto people as well, you know,

918
00:38:29,441 --> 00:38:32,201
Speaker 2: like when I see traits and other people and I go,

919
00:38:32,281 --> 00:38:34,401
Speaker 2: oh wow, like that bothers me because I've really been

920
00:38:34,401 --> 00:38:36,561
Speaker 2: clocking it lately, like people like around me and I'll

921
00:38:36,601 --> 00:38:38,321
Speaker 2: be like, oh, this person does this, and then.

922
00:38:38,281 --> 00:38:40,241
Speaker 1: I'll be like, but I do that too, Yeah, And so.

923
00:38:40,441 --> 00:38:43,241
Speaker 2: Just like being mindful that I'm not, you know, because

924
00:38:43,241 --> 00:38:45,241
Speaker 2: obviously they triggers me for a reason, because there's a

925
00:38:45,281 --> 00:38:48,041
Speaker 2: part of that in me, but I haven't fully seen

926
00:38:48,121 --> 00:38:51,201
Speaker 2: or I haven't fully integrated. So like clocking my projections

927
00:38:51,561 --> 00:38:54,481
Speaker 2: and just using the things that trigger me in other

928
00:38:54,521 --> 00:38:57,121
Speaker 2: people as curiosity to do, Okay, what about this have

929
00:38:57,201 --> 00:38:59,681
Speaker 2: I not accepted about myself? Like how can I learn

930
00:38:59,681 --> 00:39:02,241
Speaker 2: how to accept this part of myself even more? Because

931
00:39:02,281 --> 00:39:04,441
Speaker 2: it does come up for me, you know. More recently,

932
00:39:04,441 --> 00:39:06,601
Speaker 2: I've been talking to you about this with someone in

933
00:39:06,641 --> 00:39:09,561
Speaker 2: my life where you know, he'll do something and I'll

934
00:39:09,601 --> 00:39:11,121
Speaker 2: get super triggered about it and then be like, oh,

935
00:39:11,161 --> 00:39:13,201
Speaker 2: you know what, that's exactly like my behavior, or like

936
00:39:13,241 --> 00:39:15,281
Speaker 2: why does you know this person psycho analyzes me?

937
00:39:15,441 --> 00:39:17,321
Speaker 1: Or why they're putting labels on me? And I'm like

938
00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:19,801
Speaker 1: where does that show up for me? You know, like

939
00:39:19,921 --> 00:39:20,921
Speaker 1: where am I doing that?

940
00:39:21,041 --> 00:39:24,881
Speaker 2: So just like cleaning up my own backyard, yeah, more

941
00:39:25,001 --> 00:39:27,961
Speaker 2: before I go and like do the thing of psychoanalyzing

942
00:39:27,961 --> 00:39:29,801
Speaker 2: people and being like, well this isn't good or I

943
00:39:30,001 --> 00:39:32,921
Speaker 2: you know, being so like picky on those things without

944
00:39:32,921 --> 00:39:35,641
Speaker 2: having cleaned up my side of the backyard first, because

945
00:39:35,641 --> 00:39:37,081
Speaker 2: I'm like, I may be a coach and all the things,

946
00:39:37,201 --> 00:39:39,081
Speaker 2: I'm fucking human at the end of the day. And

947
00:39:39,121 --> 00:39:40,881
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to claim that I'm perfect by any means,

948
00:39:40,921 --> 00:39:42,961
Speaker 2: as much as I would love to, I'm not and

949
00:39:43,001 --> 00:39:45,401
Speaker 2: I know I'm not. And like, just seeing all of

950
00:39:45,441 --> 00:39:48,681
Speaker 2: these things in myself really humbles me of going like,

951
00:39:48,721 --> 00:39:50,521
Speaker 2: I may have done you know how many years of

952
00:39:50,521 --> 00:39:52,241
Speaker 2: personal development, but I still have a really long way

953
00:39:52,281 --> 00:39:52,481
Speaker 2: to go.

954
00:39:52,681 --> 00:39:54,681
Speaker 1: All of us. You know, it's for our work, and

955
00:39:54,721 --> 00:39:57,201
Speaker 1: I'm not ignorant to that either. And new people in

956
00:39:57,241 --> 00:40:00,121
Speaker 1: your life too, will bring up new triggers, and so

957
00:40:00,241 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: all people in your life will bring up all stuff

958
00:40:02,001 --> 00:40:04,281
Speaker 1: that you still haven't healed, and they're coming up for reasons.

959
00:40:04,281 --> 00:40:05,561
Speaker 1: It's like the invitation to heal it.

960
00:40:05,681 --> 00:40:09,561
Speaker 2: Different relationships, for sure, Different relationships, different triggers. Oh, I think,

961
00:40:09,681 --> 00:40:11,721
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm like, come to ash, You're like, I'm exhausted,

962
00:40:12,321 --> 00:40:12,921
Speaker 2: I'm tired.

963
00:40:12,961 --> 00:40:14,281
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel this triger anymore.

964
00:40:14,721 --> 00:40:16,321
Speaker 2: Another thing that I feel like I want to work

965
00:40:16,361 --> 00:40:18,561
Speaker 2: on is assuming the best of others in the moment

966
00:40:18,601 --> 00:40:21,361
Speaker 2: when I'm triggered or emotionally reacting really beautiful one because

967
00:40:21,361 --> 00:40:24,121
Speaker 2: it's it's not that I don't like in the moments

968
00:40:24,121 --> 00:40:25,881
Speaker 2: when I'm feeling really triggered, it's like I can't see

969
00:40:25,881 --> 00:40:28,561
Speaker 2: past the trigger, you know, And while it doesn't last,

970
00:40:28,761 --> 00:40:31,921
Speaker 2: it doesn't last very long, but in.

971
00:40:31,841 --> 00:40:33,361
Speaker 1: The moment, it still feels true.

972
00:40:33,361 --> 00:40:35,081
Speaker 2: And I really want to learn how to kind of

973
00:40:35,361 --> 00:40:38,681
Speaker 2: stop that response or at least squash that response so

974
00:40:38,721 --> 00:40:41,121
Speaker 2: that I'm not immediately assuming the worst case scenario that

975
00:40:41,161 --> 00:40:44,481
Speaker 2: person when I'm emotionally triggered, because the people in my

976
00:40:44,521 --> 00:40:47,241
Speaker 2: life don't deserve that, and they don't deserve for me

977
00:40:47,321 --> 00:40:49,641
Speaker 2: to assume the worst case scenario of them just because

978
00:40:49,681 --> 00:40:52,401
Speaker 2: I'm having an emotional response that's telling me that this

979
00:40:52,441 --> 00:40:55,201
Speaker 2: person isn't a safe person because it's not true. Yeah

980
00:40:55,241 --> 00:40:57,601
Speaker 2: it's not true, but it's in that moment when you're in.

981
00:40:57,521 --> 00:41:01,161
Speaker 1: That all I know. But it's just because your body

982
00:41:01,201 --> 00:41:02,961
Speaker 1: is screaming I'm not safe, Like, yeah, I need to

983
00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 1: protect myself.

984
00:41:03,641 --> 00:41:06,001
Speaker 2: Now, of course, And I'm so easy in those moments

985
00:41:06,001 --> 00:41:07,961
Speaker 2: to point the finger or to make the other person

986
00:41:08,001 --> 00:41:11,361
Speaker 2: wrong or whatever story. Yeah, whatever story comes up in

987
00:41:11,401 --> 00:41:13,681
Speaker 2: the moment, But I just I want to be better

988
00:41:13,721 --> 00:41:14,081
Speaker 2: than that.

989
00:41:14,081 --> 00:41:18,601
Speaker 1: That's cool. Yeah, I love those beautiful self awareness for sure.

990
00:41:19,161 --> 00:41:20,441
Speaker 1: I've got some other work ones.

991
00:41:20,841 --> 00:41:23,081
Speaker 2: Yeah, But just like things I want to work on

992
00:41:23,201 --> 00:41:25,161
Speaker 2: is like my leadership skills. So I want to learn

993
00:41:25,201 --> 00:41:28,161
Speaker 2: how to delegate better, be more an efficient team leader,

994
00:41:28,961 --> 00:41:30,801
Speaker 2: you know, just like really work on those skills for

995
00:41:30,881 --> 00:41:33,321
Speaker 2: like this next year, so I can get more efficient

996
00:41:33,521 --> 00:41:36,881
Speaker 2: at having a good team, wanting people to come on board,

997
00:41:36,881 --> 00:41:40,241
Speaker 2: wanting people to stay on board, and being somebody worth following.

998
00:41:40,521 --> 00:41:43,321
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, especially as our team grows, that is a

999
00:41:43,321 --> 00:41:47,161
Speaker 1: position you'll be more into, yeah, being a leader.

1000
00:41:47,481 --> 00:41:49,481
Speaker 2: And as our team does grow, like there's how many

1001
00:41:49,521 --> 00:41:52,641
Speaker 2: of us now, one, two, three, poor.

1002
00:41:52,241 --> 00:41:54,161
Speaker 1: Two, I've got two solid ones and then we have

1003
00:41:54,321 --> 00:41:56,481
Speaker 1: help with other things. The two solid ones we're communicating

1004
00:41:56,481 --> 00:41:57,281
Speaker 1: with like on the daily.

1005
00:41:57,441 --> 00:42:00,561
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then like maybe like three more that a

1006
00:42:00,561 --> 00:42:03,601
Speaker 2: little bit more inconsistent. But as the team grows, I

1007
00:42:03,681 --> 00:42:04,601
Speaker 2: just want to make.

1008
00:42:04,521 --> 00:42:07,001
Speaker 1: Sure that I'm a person yeah that is worth following,

1009
00:42:07,241 --> 00:42:10,601
Speaker 1: A good leader, a safe leader, trustworthy, one one who communicates,

1010
00:42:10,881 --> 00:42:13,081
Speaker 1: one who goes first and is willing to go first

1011
00:42:13,121 --> 00:42:14,841
Speaker 1: and lead by example. That's what I want to do.

1012
00:42:15,001 --> 00:42:15,401
Speaker 1: That's cool.

1013
00:42:15,481 --> 00:42:17,601
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then my last one is just to take

1014
00:42:17,601 --> 00:42:20,441
Speaker 2: more time for myself, to have solo time and to

1015
00:42:20,921 --> 00:42:22,961
Speaker 2: have think time so I can connect with like my

1016
00:42:23,081 --> 00:42:26,561
Speaker 2: creativity and my solitude because I really feel like my

1017
00:42:26,641 --> 00:42:29,361
Speaker 2: best ideas come from that place, and I feel like

1018
00:42:29,361 --> 00:42:32,201
Speaker 2: I have like a world of ideas that come through,

1019
00:42:32,241 --> 00:42:33,681
Speaker 2: and then my best ones come through when I'm like

1020
00:42:33,721 --> 00:42:34,921
Speaker 2: just chilling by myself.

1021
00:42:34,721 --> 00:42:36,841
Speaker 1: Yeah, because that's when you're creating space for them to

1022
00:42:36,921 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 1: downloads to come. If you're always busy around other people, yeah,

1023
00:42:39,441 --> 00:42:43,521
Speaker 1: it doesn't come through, right. Yeah. One thing I have

1024
00:42:43,601 --> 00:42:45,961
Speaker 1: been reflecting on lately, Steve and I've been having a

1025
00:42:46,001 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 1: lot of big conversations about our relationship the last couple

1026
00:42:48,441 --> 00:42:50,321
Speaker 1: of months and like what we're both wanting and making

1027
00:42:50,321 --> 00:42:52,401
Speaker 1: sure we're still aligned. And I think every relationship should

1028
00:42:52,401 --> 00:42:54,521
Speaker 1: do this, especially when you've been together long term, because

1029
00:42:54,841 --> 00:42:57,281
Speaker 1: so much can change in six months, a year, two years.

1030
00:42:57,321 --> 00:42:59,041
Speaker 1: We're just always checking in and there's been some really

1031
00:42:59,081 --> 00:43:02,401
Speaker 1: hard conversations. It's really big ones and bigualizations of things

1032
00:43:02,401 --> 00:43:05,041
Speaker 1: who want to change and everything, and also a few

1033
00:43:05,081 --> 00:43:10,521
Speaker 1: projections on my side. So one thing I really don't

1034
00:43:10,601 --> 00:43:14,281
Speaker 1: like is defensiveness. And I started pulling Steve up on

1035
00:43:14,321 --> 00:43:16,041
Speaker 1: a couple of things that he would get defensive on,

1036
00:43:16,721 --> 00:43:19,481
Speaker 1: and he's fully owned that and like super aware of

1037
00:43:19,521 --> 00:43:21,441
Speaker 1: it now and he's catching himself a lot quicker or

1038
00:43:21,441 --> 00:43:23,721
Speaker 1: repairing a lot quicker, and I can just see he's

1039
00:43:23,761 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: holding it so much better. And then, yeah, a few

1040
00:43:26,481 --> 00:43:29,201
Speaker 1: weeks ago he sat me down and let me know

1041
00:43:29,241 --> 00:43:33,601
Speaker 1: that I also get very defensive. Was like, yep, you're

1042
00:43:33,721 --> 00:43:35,321
Speaker 1: right there. That's why I don't like it so much

1043
00:43:35,361 --> 00:43:38,641
Speaker 1: because I do it. Yeah, so there's that side of things.

1044
00:43:38,721 --> 00:43:42,361
Speaker 1: And then Steve and I always communicate about love languages,

1045
00:43:43,001 --> 00:43:44,641
Speaker 1: but we were talking about how we're going to do

1046
00:43:44,641 --> 00:43:47,281
Speaker 1: another whole episode of love Languages. How normally there's like

1047
00:43:47,281 --> 00:43:49,521
Speaker 1: a driving two force, but like, if I'm actually really

1048
00:43:49,561 --> 00:43:51,721
Speaker 1: honest with myself, I like all of them and I

1049
00:43:51,761 --> 00:43:54,201
Speaker 1: want all of them love this. And you know, I

1050
00:43:54,241 --> 00:43:56,561
Speaker 1: sent him this real about how in relationship is really

1051
00:43:56,561 --> 00:43:58,561
Speaker 1: beautiful if you can acknowledge a lot of them, do

1052
00:43:58,601 --> 00:44:00,081
Speaker 1: all of them? And he was like, yes, definitely, get

1053
00:44:00,081 --> 00:44:02,161
Speaker 1: so much better at this. Like I'm excited to learn

1054
00:44:02,161 --> 00:44:04,841
Speaker 1: more and to try more. And he he's improved a

1055
00:44:04,841 --> 00:44:06,841
Speaker 1: lot of them. And I was looking in the mirror.

1056
00:44:06,881 --> 00:44:09,121
Speaker 1: I was like, you don't do those for him. Oh,

1057
00:44:09,641 --> 00:44:12,281
Speaker 1: I don't do them for him. I don't. Yeah, I

1058
00:44:12,321 --> 00:44:15,201
Speaker 1: do a lot of physical touch. I try with words,

1059
00:44:15,241 --> 00:44:17,721
Speaker 1: but I'm like sitting on my high horse, like expecting

1060
00:44:17,921 --> 00:44:20,041
Speaker 1: him to do more. Yeah, I'm like, what are you doing?

1061
00:44:20,681 --> 00:44:22,121
Speaker 1: So I actually said to him, I said, I've had

1062
00:44:22,121 --> 00:44:25,121
Speaker 1: this reflection, and I would actually like because I feel

1063
00:44:25,121 --> 00:44:27,041
Speaker 1: like I'm very vocal and very good at communicating what

1064
00:44:27,121 --> 00:44:29,041
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, what I don't like in the love

1065
00:44:29,121 --> 00:44:31,241
Speaker 1: languages and what makes me feel good? And he doesn't

1066
00:44:31,241 --> 00:44:33,321
Speaker 1: communicate that. So I said to him, would you be

1067
00:44:33,361 --> 00:44:35,921
Speaker 1: able to let's have a really big conversation about like,

1068
00:44:36,081 --> 00:44:37,401
Speaker 1: what kind of gifts do you like? It's not a

1069
00:44:37,401 --> 00:44:39,681
Speaker 1: big gift person, but I'm like, surely you like gifts

1070
00:44:39,721 --> 00:44:42,401
Speaker 1: like coming home to a surprise. What does quality time

1071
00:44:42,401 --> 00:44:44,761
Speaker 1: look like to you? Words of affirmation? Is it cute

1072
00:44:44,761 --> 00:44:46,841
Speaker 1: love notes? Is it text messages at a phone call?

1073
00:44:46,961 --> 00:44:48,641
Speaker 1: Is it just face to face? Like I want to

1074
00:44:48,681 --> 00:44:51,281
Speaker 1: know specifics of each of the love languages, because if

1075
00:44:51,281 --> 00:44:53,521
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm not gonna be able to do

1076
00:44:53,561 --> 00:44:55,921
Speaker 1: it very well. Right, And he even he goes, I

1077
00:44:56,001 --> 00:44:57,801
Speaker 1: don't know if I actually even know the answers to

1078
00:44:57,841 --> 00:45:00,041
Speaker 1: all of those So, wow, can I have some time

1079
00:45:00,201 --> 00:45:02,921
Speaker 1: and I'll get back to you. And I was like absolutely,

1080
00:45:02,961 --> 00:45:05,401
Speaker 1: but yeah, like I'm going to fail of do it

1081
00:45:05,401 --> 00:45:06,881
Speaker 1: how I think I would like to receive it. I

1082
00:45:06,921 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 1: want to do it how you want to receive it. Yes,

1083
00:45:08,401 --> 00:45:10,721
Speaker 1: it's different, So like, make me a check list, give

1084
00:45:10,761 --> 00:45:12,401
Speaker 1: me some examples that I can go and expand and

1085
00:45:12,401 --> 00:45:15,081
Speaker 1: get creative with that. So I just want to get

1086
00:45:15,121 --> 00:45:19,321
Speaker 1: better at projecting and not actually cleaning up my backyard

1087
00:45:19,361 --> 00:45:22,601
Speaker 1: first as well before I said this before, but taking

1088
00:45:22,601 --> 00:45:26,481
Speaker 1: things personally, I really yeah, I've really been reflecting on

1089
00:45:26,481 --> 00:45:30,321
Speaker 1: how much I take things personally a lot, a lot.

1090
00:45:32,081 --> 00:45:34,401
Speaker 1: Another thing I really want to work on this year

1091
00:45:35,361 --> 00:45:37,081
Speaker 1: that I didn't realize just watch you on the car

1092
00:45:37,081 --> 00:45:39,601
Speaker 1: and way up here is I feel like I have

1093
00:45:39,681 --> 00:45:43,001
Speaker 1: a lot of built up like anger from past stuff

1094
00:45:43,041 --> 00:45:45,161
Speaker 1: in my relationship with Steve, and he spoke about it

1095
00:45:45,201 --> 00:45:48,721
Speaker 1: on his podcast episode around drinking and party drugs and

1096
00:45:48,801 --> 00:45:51,761
Speaker 1: just like that season that we went through and as

1097
00:45:51,801 --> 00:45:53,881
Speaker 1: much as we've done a lot of work and with

1098
00:45:54,121 --> 00:45:58,681
Speaker 1: like quote unquote repaired and I've forgiven I think I

1099
00:45:58,761 --> 00:46:02,201
Speaker 1: have in my heart, but also my body hasn't. Yeah,

1100
00:46:02,401 --> 00:46:05,361
Speaker 1: So the moment that we have a hard moment or

1101
00:46:05,361 --> 00:46:08,161
Speaker 1: an icky moment, I bring up the past and I

1102
00:46:08,201 --> 00:46:10,801
Speaker 1: like use it as a weapon. Yeah, and I can

1103
00:46:10,841 --> 00:46:13,681
Speaker 1: really see how unproductive that is and also how damaging

1104
00:46:13,721 --> 00:46:15,721
Speaker 1: it is to not only him but to us and

1105
00:46:15,761 --> 00:46:20,440
Speaker 1: our connection. And he holds it really well, but he's

1106
00:46:20,481 --> 00:46:23,041
Speaker 1: communicated with me that it's really hard to move forward

1107
00:46:23,041 --> 00:46:24,921
Speaker 1: from the past when I keep like bringing it back in.

1108
00:46:25,041 --> 00:46:28,161
Speaker 1: He's like, I already hold shame for how I've shown

1109
00:46:28,241 --> 00:46:30,361
Speaker 1: up on those times, and I'm really trying, like I'm

1110
00:46:30,361 --> 00:46:32,681
Speaker 1: not that man anymore, but I feel like you don't

1111
00:46:32,721 --> 00:46:35,441
Speaker 1: fully you don't fully let me be that man that

1112
00:46:35,481 --> 00:46:38,041
Speaker 1: I am now, because you keep bringing that in and

1113
00:46:38,081 --> 00:46:40,401
Speaker 1: it's like it's almost like you're scared to fully and

1114
00:46:40,441 --> 00:46:42,081
Speaker 1: he goes, I get it. I understand why. It's like

1115
00:46:42,081 --> 00:46:44,681
Speaker 1: you're scared to let me fully in again, and that's

1116
00:46:44,721 --> 00:46:47,481
Speaker 1: preventing us from like progressing forward in like you know,

1117
00:46:47,521 --> 00:46:49,841
Speaker 1: this next phase of my marriage. And he's one hundred

1118
00:46:49,841 --> 00:46:52,121
Speaker 1: percent right. Yeah. So I was like sitting up for

1119
00:46:52,161 --> 00:46:53,241
Speaker 1: a while and I was like, I actually think I

1120
00:46:53,241 --> 00:46:55,121
Speaker 1: need to get like a coach or go and do

1121
00:46:55,161 --> 00:46:57,041
Speaker 1: some sessions with him together. And he's so open to

1122
00:46:57,081 --> 00:46:58,241
Speaker 1: that as well. So that's what I'm going to look

1123
00:46:58,241 --> 00:47:00,401
Speaker 1: into and just see how I can like move some

1124
00:47:00,481 --> 00:47:03,401
Speaker 1: of that old trauma and resentment because it is such

1125
00:47:03,441 --> 00:47:06,001
Speaker 1: a relationship killer. Yeah, and I don't want it to

1126
00:47:06,041 --> 00:47:07,521
Speaker 1: be there because I look at this man, I love

1127
00:47:07,601 --> 00:47:10,121
Speaker 1: him so much, and then I just like still remember

1128
00:47:10,201 --> 00:47:13,481
Speaker 1: times where boundaries are cross, and yes, boundaries across, but

1129
00:47:13,601 --> 00:47:16,041
Speaker 1: it wasn't even clear on my boundaries back then. They

1130
00:47:16,041 --> 00:47:19,321
Speaker 1: were so blurry, they were so gray. I was reactive,

1131
00:47:19,361 --> 00:47:20,961
Speaker 1: he was doing this thing. It was just we just

1132
00:47:21,041 --> 00:47:24,241
Speaker 1: didn't fully understand and we were just growing. And I

1133
00:47:24,281 --> 00:47:26,641
Speaker 1: look back and what I know now and how clear

1134
00:47:26,681 --> 00:47:29,281
Speaker 1: I am on my values, on my standards, on my boundaries,

1135
00:47:29,321 --> 00:47:32,321
Speaker 1: on what I want in a relationship, my non negotiables,

1136
00:47:32,361 --> 00:47:34,481
Speaker 1: like some things are just not acceptable now, and like

1137
00:47:34,521 --> 00:47:37,281
Speaker 1: we're on the same page with that. So it's not

1138
00:47:37,361 --> 00:47:39,921
Speaker 1: all his fault. But yeah, I can just see the

1139
00:47:40,001 --> 00:47:41,761
Speaker 1: damage that it's done and I'm wanting to like really

1140
00:47:41,761 --> 00:47:44,001
Speaker 1: move through that. I think that's so beautiful. Yeah, it's

1141
00:47:44,041 --> 00:47:45,281
Speaker 1: going to be a big thing for me, I think

1142
00:47:45,281 --> 00:47:48,041
Speaker 1: in the next couple of months. But I'm excited for it. Like, look,

1143
00:47:48,081 --> 00:47:51,801
Speaker 1: he's so fringing it's yeah, so scary goal. Yeah, so

1144
00:47:51,881 --> 00:47:53,641
Speaker 1: when you sign up with a coach or a new course,

1145
00:47:54,041 --> 00:47:55,961
Speaker 1: and the girls in Rise and Side even feel this,

1146
00:47:56,001 --> 00:47:57,721
Speaker 1: and we get messages all the time with our online

1147
00:47:57,721 --> 00:48:00,241
Speaker 1: subscription of like I'm or before they actually sign up,

1148
00:48:00,281 --> 00:48:03,561
Speaker 1: I'm really scared to do this work. This is really uncomfortable.

1149
00:48:03,561 --> 00:48:06,561
Speaker 1: I know I'm holding t I know my nervous systems

1150
00:48:06,601 --> 00:48:08,681
Speaker 1: reacting right, know. I've got such a negative mindset and

1151
00:48:08,721 --> 00:48:11,241
Speaker 1: i keep every year setting the same goal, so I'm

1152
00:48:11,241 --> 00:48:13,681
Speaker 1: never making any progress. Is this something you can help

1153
00:48:13,681 --> 00:48:15,241
Speaker 1: with them? Like, yes, because we're still going through all

1154
00:48:15,281 --> 00:48:17,361
Speaker 1: of that. Yeah. And as much as we try and

1155
00:48:17,401 --> 00:48:18,801
Speaker 1: help women, like, we still have to do the work

1156
00:48:18,841 --> 00:48:21,281
Speaker 1: ourselves on our stuff and I don't want to ever

1157
00:48:21,321 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 1: shy away from that and sharing this, like, I hope

1158
00:48:24,001 --> 00:48:27,601
Speaker 1: it inspires someone out there to see their stuff and

1159
00:48:27,641 --> 00:48:29,561
Speaker 1: not be scared to ask for help. Like I'm not

1160
00:48:29,601 --> 00:48:32,161
Speaker 1: scared to ask for help. Yeah, I'm nervous to get

1161
00:48:32,161 --> 00:48:33,801
Speaker 1: a coach and all of this to come up and

1162
00:48:33,881 --> 00:48:35,841
Speaker 1: face it, Yeah, to face it, and I know I'm

1163
00:48:35,841 --> 00:48:38,041
Speaker 1: going to have to feel through a lot and have

1164
00:48:38,121 --> 00:48:41,081
Speaker 1: some hard conversations and be really honest with how I'm feeling,

1165
00:48:41,721 --> 00:48:43,721
Speaker 1: but I'm also really excited for that because I know

1166
00:48:44,201 --> 00:48:46,681
Speaker 1: on the other side of that, it's more freedom, it's

1167
00:48:46,721 --> 00:48:49,321
Speaker 1: more joy, it's more love, it's more respect, it's more trust.

1168
00:48:49,881 --> 00:48:51,721
Speaker 1: Is a new version of us that we get to

1169
00:48:51,761 --> 00:48:54,081
Speaker 1: create together. I'm really grateful to have a man that

1170
00:48:54,281 --> 00:48:55,961
Speaker 1: wants to do that with me and is so more

1171
00:48:56,001 --> 00:48:59,561
Speaker 1: than willing, like very very grateful for where we're at

1172
00:48:59,561 --> 00:49:02,401
Speaker 1: and having a man that wants to do that with me. So, yeah,

1173
00:49:02,441 --> 00:49:03,641
Speaker 1: that's going to be a big focus of me. And

1174
00:49:03,681 --> 00:49:05,721
Speaker 1: I'm nervous for it because it's going to be a yeah,

1175
00:49:05,761 --> 00:49:07,641
Speaker 1: but I know that it's going to help me, my community,

1176
00:49:07,761 --> 00:49:10,721
Speaker 1: my relationships, my kids. I always think too, the more

1177
00:49:10,761 --> 00:49:12,561
Speaker 1: stuff that I go through, the more I learn, the

1178
00:49:12,601 --> 00:49:14,521
Speaker 1: more I lean in, the more I can help them

1179
00:49:14,561 --> 00:49:17,321
Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, I won't pass on my shit to them,

1180
00:49:17,521 --> 00:49:19,321
Speaker 1: because if you don't heal your own stuff, you are

1181
00:49:19,321 --> 00:49:20,961
Speaker 1: going to pass it on to your kids. Yeah, and

1182
00:49:21,001 --> 00:49:23,881
Speaker 1: it's a big responsibility as a parent. Yeah. So yeah,

1183
00:49:23,921 --> 00:49:26,721
Speaker 1: I'm excited. It's nervous, I know, all of it gets

1184
00:49:26,721 --> 00:49:30,161
Speaker 1: too vulnerable. You're like, what, people just don't talk about

1185
00:49:30,201 --> 00:49:33,241
Speaker 1: their relationship online. They don't they don't. I wish more

1186
00:49:33,241 --> 00:49:35,481
Speaker 1: people did because you feel so alone in it sometimes

1187
00:49:35,921 --> 00:49:37,561
Speaker 1: or you just like it's harder to learn when people

1188
00:49:37,561 --> 00:49:39,721
Speaker 1: aren't talking about it. Yeah, it's true. All you see

1189
00:49:39,761 --> 00:49:42,281
Speaker 1: online is like, ef, I'm making cute videos how I

1190
00:49:42,321 --> 00:49:43,761
Speaker 1: love they are and how perfect they are. But like

1191
00:49:43,801 --> 00:49:48,041
Speaker 1: in reality, every couple goes through their stuff. True, you know, Yeah,

1192
00:49:48,161 --> 00:49:50,321
Speaker 1: can I add on to the back of that. Yeah,

1193
00:49:50,361 --> 00:49:51,201
Speaker 1: it's so true.

1194
00:49:51,241 --> 00:49:54,401
Speaker 2: And it's like I've kind of been shying away from

1195
00:49:54,401 --> 00:49:58,081
Speaker 2: those kind of conversations too as well, like just for context, guys,

1196
00:49:58,121 --> 00:50:00,441
Speaker 2: like I have someone new in my life and I

1197
00:50:00,521 --> 00:50:02,761
Speaker 2: wasn't going to share this yet because I feel like

1198
00:50:02,801 --> 00:50:06,361
Speaker 2: I have a little bit of fear around just showing

1199
00:50:06,401 --> 00:50:08,881
Speaker 2: stuff online when it comes to like new intimate relationships

1200
00:50:08,921 --> 00:50:11,321
Speaker 2: because obviously, if you've been listening, you know you here

1201
00:50:11,361 --> 00:50:14,041
Speaker 2: when like my relationship breakdown happened like a year and

1202
00:50:14,081 --> 00:50:15,801
Speaker 2: a half ago, and then like when silver Fox came

1203
00:50:15,801 --> 00:50:18,481
Speaker 2: into my life, and then I just I get scared.

1204
00:50:18,521 --> 00:50:21,121
Speaker 2: I think of the judgment of like having new people

1205
00:50:21,161 --> 00:50:23,081
Speaker 2: come into my life talking about on social media, and

1206
00:50:23,081 --> 00:50:24,561
Speaker 2: then if it doesn't work out, then I'm like, oh,

1207
00:50:24,561 --> 00:50:26,441
Speaker 2: well shit, Like there goes another person kind of thing.

1208
00:50:27,001 --> 00:50:29,201
Speaker 2: So that's obviously my own stuff to work through. But

1209
00:50:29,641 --> 00:50:31,521
Speaker 2: everything that you just said is so true. And I

1210
00:50:31,561 --> 00:50:35,641
Speaker 2: think relationship stuff is so hard because you know, when

1211
00:50:35,641 --> 00:50:38,281
Speaker 2: you're single, like recently, when I was single, it's like

1212
00:50:38,321 --> 00:50:39,801
Speaker 2: I feel on top of the world and I feel

1213
00:50:39,841 --> 00:50:42,041
Speaker 2: amazing and it's so beautiful, and you know, I've just

1214
00:50:42,081 --> 00:50:44,440
Speaker 2: met this incredible man who's like come into my life

1215
00:50:44,481 --> 00:50:46,921
Speaker 2: and kind of like taken my life by storm. And

1216
00:50:46,961 --> 00:50:49,481
Speaker 2: obviously it's still very new, so I don't know what's

1217
00:50:49,481 --> 00:50:51,481
Speaker 2: going to happen. But I'm also not putting pressure on it.

1218
00:50:51,521 --> 00:50:54,521
Speaker 2: But I'm also very much enjoying how good it feels

1219
00:50:54,521 --> 00:50:58,801
Speaker 2: to be in it. And he's so beautiful, so communicative,

1220
00:50:59,401 --> 00:51:02,521
Speaker 2: so kind and respectful of me and just like thinks

1221
00:51:02,521 --> 00:51:04,601
Speaker 2: the absolute world of me, and like all of the

1222
00:51:04,641 --> 00:51:08,401
Speaker 2: ways that he treats me and is with me, communicates

1223
00:51:08,401 --> 00:51:10,961
Speaker 2: with me, connects with me, Like all of those things

1224
00:51:10,961 --> 00:51:13,361
Speaker 2: are like something that I've always wanted. Yeah, And I

1225
00:51:13,481 --> 00:51:16,161
Speaker 2: sit here with Ashi and I talk about how I

1226
00:51:16,201 --> 00:51:19,681
Speaker 2: want these things, and like, you know, I've really been

1227
00:51:19,681 --> 00:51:21,681
Speaker 2: dealing with like these couple of triggers that have been

1228
00:51:21,721 --> 00:51:24,561
Speaker 2: coming up for me recently around feeling like my Braddy's

1229
00:51:24,561 --> 00:51:26,561
Speaker 2: side is coming out, you know, not getting my way,

1230
00:51:26,641 --> 00:51:29,241
Speaker 2: not getting enough attention, or like you know, little moments

1231
00:51:29,241 --> 00:51:31,561
Speaker 2: when I'm feeling triggered, and like how uncomfortable that can

1232
00:51:31,601 --> 00:51:33,881
Speaker 2: be when you're single And then you get into a

1233
00:51:33,881 --> 00:51:36,761
Speaker 2: relationship and I'm sitting here, like to Ashley, going like, fuck,

1234
00:51:36,841 --> 00:51:38,241
Speaker 2: I know how much of this shit is going to

1235
00:51:38,281 --> 00:51:41,041
Speaker 2: come up for me? And I'm scared, Like I'm actually

1236
00:51:41,081 --> 00:51:42,681
Speaker 2: scared because I'm like, I know that there is so

1237
00:51:42,841 --> 00:51:46,601
Speaker 2: much about me that doesn't get activated when I'm single.

1238
00:51:46,841 --> 00:51:48,521
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so easy to avoid when you're singing, but

1239
00:51:48,601 --> 00:51:50,881
Speaker 1: it's so easy to avoid because you're not being triggered. Yeah,

1240
00:51:50,881 --> 00:51:52,721
Speaker 1: no one's getting i mean other than your friends.

1241
00:51:53,441 --> 00:51:56,081
Speaker 2: No one's getting close enough to you to see those

1242
00:51:56,081 --> 00:51:58,321
Speaker 2: things about you to then trigger you. Yeah, And it's

1243
00:51:58,361 --> 00:52:00,361
Speaker 2: like there's so much about yourself you learn in intimate

1244
00:52:00,401 --> 00:52:02,721
Speaker 2: relationships that you don't get to do when you're single.

1245
00:52:03,081 --> 00:52:04,321
Speaker 1: And so part of me has been like.

1246
00:52:04,321 --> 00:52:07,721
Speaker 2: Really like a little bit scared because like he is

1247
00:52:07,761 --> 00:52:09,841
Speaker 2: all of the things. And then I'm like, oh my god,

1248
00:52:09,961 --> 00:52:12,241
Speaker 2: my commitment folk, Like am I scared?

1249
00:52:12,281 --> 00:52:12,441
Speaker 1: You know?

1250
00:52:12,601 --> 00:52:16,321
Speaker 2: Am I scared of something that actually feels real and

1251
00:52:16,361 --> 00:52:20,041
Speaker 2: beautiful and could be really beautiful for me and my

1252
00:52:20,121 --> 00:52:22,721
Speaker 2: growth and who I am, and also like the love

1253
00:52:22,721 --> 00:52:24,881
Speaker 2: that I get to give back to, you know, to

1254
00:52:24,961 --> 00:52:27,201
Speaker 2: him because he deserves and he's such a beautiful human

1255
00:52:28,321 --> 00:52:30,441
Speaker 2: And I'm just like part of me is like really

1256
00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:33,441
Speaker 2: scared to face that stuff, to look at it, to

1257
00:52:33,521 --> 00:52:35,321
Speaker 2: have to go through it. I have to feel it

1258
00:52:35,401 --> 00:52:36,801
Speaker 2: to all the things. And I was just saying to

1259
00:52:36,801 --> 00:52:38,201
Speaker 2: actually in the car on the way up, like.

1260
00:52:39,001 --> 00:52:41,681
Speaker 1: My God, like I am a triggered girlie today, you know,

1261
00:52:41,921 --> 00:52:44,041
Speaker 1: and not for anything bad. It's my own stuff.

1262
00:52:44,161 --> 00:52:45,841
Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, cool, I'm really going to have

1263
00:52:45,881 --> 00:52:48,161
Speaker 2: to lean into these regulation tools and stuff that I

1264
00:52:48,281 --> 00:52:51,041
Speaker 2: know how to do, just like we're putting in rise inside,

1265
00:52:51,721 --> 00:52:54,121
Speaker 2: because I know that I'm going to have to learn

1266
00:52:54,161 --> 00:52:57,201
Speaker 2: how to repair really quickly regulate myself so that I

1267
00:52:57,241 --> 00:52:59,321
Speaker 2: can be a really good person for myself and also

1268
00:52:59,361 --> 00:53:01,201
Speaker 2: show up in a way that I want to when

1269
00:53:01,201 --> 00:53:02,121
Speaker 2: it comes to him as well.

1270
00:53:02,921 --> 00:53:04,521
Speaker 1: You know that, oh the grass is greener on the

1271
00:53:04,521 --> 00:53:07,561
Speaker 1: other side. Yeah, I can see why people like run

1272
00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:10,801
Speaker 1: from a relationship when things get hard and run to

1273
00:53:10,841 --> 00:53:12,801
Speaker 1: the next one or run to you by themselves, like oh,

1274
00:53:12,921 --> 00:53:14,801
Speaker 1: just easier by myself. I don't have to deal with that,

1275
00:53:15,121 --> 00:53:16,801
Speaker 1: and like I'd be lying if I haven't had those

1276
00:53:16,841 --> 00:53:19,401
Speaker 1: thoughts over the span of my relationship as time. So

1277
00:53:19,441 --> 00:53:22,121
Speaker 1: I'm like, actually, this is too fucking hard, Like they're

1278
00:53:22,121 --> 00:53:24,041
Speaker 1: meant to be this hard, and you have those thoughts

1279
00:53:24,041 --> 00:53:26,801
Speaker 1: to yourself. But if you don't heal in this relationship,

1280
00:53:26,841 --> 00:53:28,521
Speaker 1: I guarantee it's going to show up in the next

1281
00:53:28,521 --> 00:53:30,321
Speaker 1: relationship one hundred percent. It's just going to be with

1282
00:53:30,321 --> 00:53:32,841
Speaker 1: a different face on and a different situation. But like

1283
00:53:32,881 --> 00:53:35,641
Speaker 1: that's all within us. Yes, it's like wear they're down,

1284
00:53:35,681 --> 00:53:37,081
Speaker 1: and of course, like it's a different story if the

1285
00:53:37,081 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 1: person is not aligned. If we always say if they're

1286
00:53:39,481 --> 00:53:42,201
Speaker 1: not willing to grow with you, yes, or you know,

1287
00:53:42,241 --> 00:53:44,921
Speaker 1: there is different situations. But if you're both willing, you

1288
00:53:45,041 --> 00:53:47,801
Speaker 1: know this person's good for you, you feel aligned, you love

1289
00:53:47,841 --> 00:53:49,841
Speaker 1: the shit out of them, then it's worth like sitting

1290
00:53:49,881 --> 00:53:52,561
Speaker 1: in that storm together and going through it together rather

1291
00:53:52,561 --> 00:53:54,841
Speaker 1: than just running the moment things get hard. Absolutely, this

1292
00:53:54,881 --> 00:53:56,440
Speaker 1: is a conversation We've been having a lot lately.

1293
00:53:56,521 --> 00:53:58,361
Speaker 2: Every time I've had some trigger come up, I've been

1294
00:53:58,361 --> 00:54:01,081
Speaker 2: bringing it to Ashy and going like, okay, I can

1295
00:54:01,121 --> 00:54:04,681
Speaker 2: feel myself almost wanting to find reasons to bounce, you know,

1296
00:54:05,161 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 2: to leave or whatever be because obviously there's fear there

1297
00:54:08,201 --> 00:54:10,721
Speaker 2: also taking into consideration, I'm just checking like, okay, is

1298
00:54:10,721 --> 00:54:12,881
Speaker 2: this actually aligned or is it just that I'm scared?

1299
00:54:13,081 --> 00:54:14,361
Speaker 2: And a lot of the things that have come up

1300
00:54:14,401 --> 00:54:16,441
Speaker 2: for me have been like me trying to find reasons

1301
00:54:16,441 --> 00:54:18,601
Speaker 2: to go because that would be perceived the easier option

1302
00:54:19,041 --> 00:54:20,441
Speaker 2: because then I wouldn't have to look at this stuff

1303
00:54:20,481 --> 00:54:23,361
Speaker 2: feel more peaceful sometimes for sure, But I'm also very

1304
00:54:23,481 --> 00:54:27,121
Speaker 2: much like obsessed and like enjoying like the space that

1305
00:54:27,121 --> 00:54:28,761
Speaker 2: I'm in with him, and like what we're creating, how

1306
00:54:28,761 --> 00:54:30,121
Speaker 2: connected I do feel to him.

1307
00:54:30,161 --> 00:54:31,681
Speaker 1: It's like the safest.

1308
00:54:31,201 --> 00:54:35,041
Speaker 2: Thing that I've ever been in my life and so beautiful.

1309
00:54:35,281 --> 00:54:37,561
Speaker 2: But also what comes with that is also letting go

1310
00:54:37,561 --> 00:54:40,801
Speaker 2: of the expectation of how I thought my relationship should look,

1311
00:54:42,041 --> 00:54:45,001
Speaker 2: just like expectations that I put on myself of you know,

1312
00:54:45,201 --> 00:54:48,001
Speaker 2: what a partner should be, who they should be, how

1313
00:54:48,041 --> 00:54:50,201
Speaker 2: they should behave, you know, like the way that they

1314
00:54:50,201 --> 00:54:53,081
Speaker 2: hold themselves all of those things, and going okay, but

1315
00:54:53,241 --> 00:54:55,561
Speaker 2: what are the three things that I actually really want

1316
00:54:55,601 --> 00:54:57,721
Speaker 2: and value in a relationship And like you know, as

1317
00:54:57,721 --> 00:54:59,321
Speaker 2: she would saying to me, like, as long as they

1318
00:54:59,321 --> 00:55:01,201
Speaker 2: have like all of the things that you really care about,

1319
00:55:01,281 --> 00:55:05,361
Speaker 2: the top four really important things, everything else is workable. Yeah.

1320
00:55:05,401 --> 00:55:07,521
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, Like it's so interesting.

1321
00:55:07,561 --> 00:55:10,001
Speaker 2: It's it's been a really cool reframe for me to

1322
00:55:10,161 --> 00:55:12,361
Speaker 2: just like face all of this. Yeah, it's all of

1323
00:55:12,401 --> 00:55:14,961
Speaker 2: the discomfort of the things I'm learning in myself and

1324
00:55:15,041 --> 00:55:17,881
Speaker 2: also not leaning towards a part of me that normally

1325
00:55:17,921 --> 00:55:20,281
Speaker 2: likes to run away. Yeah, that's also an out for

1326
00:55:20,361 --> 00:55:21,961
Speaker 2: me this year. Is it a part of me that

1327
00:55:22,001 --> 00:55:23,801
Speaker 2: wants to run away from things that feel hard?

1328
00:55:24,081 --> 00:55:26,601
Speaker 1: Yes? Yeah, it's fair And I love I love doing

1329
00:55:26,641 --> 00:55:28,480
Speaker 1: this back and forth with you too, because I feel

1330
00:55:28,481 --> 00:55:30,481
Speaker 1: like I know you so well and it's like everything

1331
00:55:30,481 --> 00:55:33,121
Speaker 1: that Tiana has said she wants in a man, he's it.

1332
00:55:33,721 --> 00:55:35,921
Speaker 1: I know she brings something in. I'm like, yeah, but

1333
00:55:36,001 --> 00:55:39,441
Speaker 1: you also have evidence of this. Yeah. He's so willing,

1334
00:55:39,481 --> 00:55:41,161
Speaker 1: he's so da da da dada. It's like just to

1335
00:55:41,241 --> 00:55:42,961
Speaker 1: bounce back and forth you have, I can see your

1336
00:55:42,961 --> 00:55:46,481
Speaker 1: body go ah, yeah, just talking. I'm just scared. Yeah,

1337
00:55:46,481 --> 00:55:47,521
Speaker 1: you know, such a long way.

1338
00:55:47,561 --> 00:55:49,081
Speaker 2: And I think as well, because of the way that

1339
00:55:49,081 --> 00:55:52,001
Speaker 2: my last relationship made me feel I'm very protective of

1340
00:55:52,041 --> 00:55:54,001
Speaker 2: my heart now, yeah, like you should be.

1341
00:55:54,081 --> 00:55:55,961
Speaker 1: I never want to feel like that ever again. I

1342
00:55:56,041 --> 00:55:57,721
Speaker 1: have to go through that again. And so I'm like,

1343
00:55:57,881 --> 00:55:59,481
Speaker 1: you know, when I let somebody in, I'm like, oh,

1344
00:55:59,521 --> 00:56:00,721
Speaker 1: I want to close my heart a little bit.

1345
00:56:00,841 --> 00:56:03,321
Speaker 2: And then it's like just reminding myself that it's safe

1346
00:56:03,361 --> 00:56:06,521
Speaker 2: to explore and open my heart to lay up people who.

1347
00:56:06,361 --> 00:56:08,921
Speaker 1: Are good for my heart. Definitely, And as much as

1348
00:56:09,001 --> 00:56:11,281
Speaker 1: we want like our men to be x y Z,

1349
00:56:11,521 --> 00:56:13,441
Speaker 1: Like I remember Coach saying to me when Steve was

1350
00:56:13,481 --> 00:56:16,841
Speaker 1: working on something, it's like he's gonna fuck up. Yeah,

1351
00:56:16,881 --> 00:56:19,321
Speaker 1: he's gonna have human moments where he slips back or

1352
00:56:19,361 --> 00:56:21,801
Speaker 1: he says something or does something like do you have

1353
00:56:21,881 --> 00:56:24,401
Speaker 1: room for him to be a human? And I remember

1354
00:56:24,561 --> 00:56:27,641
Speaker 1: like being like, oh, I'm like once again sitting on

1355
00:56:27,681 --> 00:56:30,201
Speaker 1: my high horses if I never do anything wrong, and

1356
00:56:30,201 --> 00:56:31,961
Speaker 1: I'm just expecting him to be perfect. And it's like

1357
00:56:32,041 --> 00:56:35,480
Speaker 1: allowing those imperfect moments in the human that we love

1358
00:56:35,481 --> 00:56:37,961
Speaker 1: and adore. And I look at the way Steve holds

1359
00:56:37,961 --> 00:56:40,001
Speaker 1: all of my flaws and all of my moments, and

1360
00:56:40,041 --> 00:56:42,321
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, that's really beautiful. Like that's unconditional love.

1361
00:56:42,361 --> 00:56:45,161
Speaker 1: So beautiful. You know, it's like it's room. You said

1362
00:56:45,161 --> 00:56:47,001
Speaker 1: this the other day, like he gives me room to

1363
00:56:47,041 --> 00:56:49,521
Speaker 1: make mistakes always. Yeah, never has not given me real,

1364
00:56:49,601 --> 00:56:52,681
Speaker 1: enjoying mistakes, whereas my expectations and him are a lot higher.

1365
00:56:52,721 --> 00:56:54,961
Speaker 1: So that's been a cool reflection the last six months.

1366
00:56:54,961 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: So beautiful. Everyone's got their own stuff to worsh Yeah, like, yeah,

1367
00:56:58,961 --> 00:57:01,401
Speaker 1: I don't see humans as good and bad. It's like, no,

1368
00:57:01,481 --> 00:57:04,761
Speaker 1: we're messy. And as long as you've got that awareness

1369
00:57:05,041 --> 00:57:07,561
Speaker 1: and the willingness to work through it, I think anything.

1370
00:57:07,321 --> 00:57:10,041
Speaker 2: Is possible to repair, to repair accountability.

1371
00:57:10,761 --> 00:57:14,121
Speaker 1: Yeah, intimate relationships are the hardest.

1372
00:57:14,321 --> 00:57:16,841
Speaker 2: Like I feel like it's like personal development on crack, Like, oh,

1373
00:57:17,481 --> 00:57:19,881
Speaker 2: isn't it the things that you learn about yourself? And

1374
00:57:19,881 --> 00:57:22,561
Speaker 2: it's almost so humbling, like it is something that's some

1375
00:57:22,601 --> 00:57:24,841
Speaker 2: things that I've seen in myself in the last month. Especially.

1376
00:57:25,401 --> 00:57:26,921
Speaker 2: You don't feel when I'm like I don't feel when

1377
00:57:26,921 --> 00:57:29,081
Speaker 2: I'm single. So I'm like, oh cool, Like I'm actually

1378
00:57:29,121 --> 00:57:30,841
Speaker 2: I'm doing pretty good. And then I get it on

1379
00:57:30,921 --> 00:57:32,721
Speaker 2: by this trade of mind and I'm like.

1380
00:57:32,881 --> 00:57:37,121
Speaker 1: Dang it, yeah, wow, shit, that was spicy. I'm like, okay, okay,

1381
00:57:37,161 --> 00:57:40,281
Speaker 1: I need to apologize for that. Yeah, you are really

1382
00:57:40,281 --> 00:57:43,001
Speaker 1: good at repairing even moments. It is very human and

1383
00:57:43,521 --> 00:57:46,201
Speaker 1: intimate relationships. Like we were talking about the other day,

1384
00:57:46,281 --> 00:57:48,721
Speaker 1: like something that triggered us about a man. But I'm like,

1385
00:57:48,921 --> 00:57:51,561
Speaker 1: that doesn't annoy me, even new to it. I don't

1386
00:57:51,601 --> 00:57:53,561
Speaker 1: care about it. I think it was something yours did.

1387
00:57:53,561 --> 00:57:54,961
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, but if I did that,

1388
00:57:54,961 --> 00:57:57,361
Speaker 1: you wouldn't care, And you're like, no, I wouldn't get

1389
00:57:57,601 --> 00:57:59,441
Speaker 1: same with Steve, like you'll do something. You're like, well,

1390
00:57:59,521 --> 00:58:00,641
Speaker 1: I don't think you care if I did that.

1391
00:58:00,681 --> 00:58:04,721
Speaker 2: I'm like, why is that taking things personally? Thing? Yeah,

1392
00:58:04,761 --> 00:58:07,041
Speaker 2: and like being triggered and like always thinking I'm right.

1393
00:58:07,081 --> 00:58:08,161
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm really noticing it.

1394
00:58:08,201 --> 00:58:10,201
Speaker 1: And they activate more in you because you're just so

1395
00:58:10,521 --> 00:58:12,841
Speaker 1: plugged into those connectors and with your parents, you're so

1396
00:58:12,921 --> 00:58:15,721
Speaker 1: biologic plugged into them. You get more activated and more

1397
00:58:15,721 --> 00:58:18,921
Speaker 1: triggered because you're so plugged in. Or it's someone like online,

1398
00:58:18,961 --> 00:58:20,921
Speaker 1: I'm like, ah, yeah, you might sting for a little bit,

1399
00:58:20,921 --> 00:58:22,761
Speaker 1: but I don't even know what you look like. Yes,

1400
00:58:23,801 --> 00:58:25,921
Speaker 1: Pat Lady Underscore two seventy five. I'm not like to

1401
00:58:25,961 --> 00:58:27,761
Speaker 1: take advice from someone that I'm not going to take

1402
00:58:27,801 --> 00:58:30,521
Speaker 1: criticism from someone I wouldn't take advice from now, so

1403
00:58:30,601 --> 00:58:32,321
Speaker 1: you later know. But if Steve says it to me,

1404
00:58:32,401 --> 00:58:39,761
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, you're right right, You're God damn it.

1405
00:58:40,361 --> 00:58:42,121
Speaker 1: We hope you really enjoy this. We hope you took

1406
00:58:42,121 --> 00:58:44,601
Speaker 1: a lot away, but hope you reflect on yourself. Bring

1407
00:58:44,601 --> 00:58:46,921
Speaker 1: you awareness into where you're at, how you're showing up,

1408
00:58:47,001 --> 00:58:48,841
Speaker 1: things you want to improve on your ins and outs,

1409
00:58:48,841 --> 00:58:51,201
Speaker 1: get really really clear on who you want to be,

1410
00:58:51,921 --> 00:58:53,801
Speaker 1: where you want your life to go, how you want

1411
00:58:53,841 --> 00:58:55,441
Speaker 1: to feel at the end of the year, and if

1412
00:58:55,521 --> 00:58:58,841
Speaker 1: you are feeling lost stuck, need some help, want a

1413
00:58:58,841 --> 00:59:01,001
Speaker 1: supportive sisterhood, Like come and join us in Side, Rise

1414
00:59:01,001 --> 00:59:02,681
Speaker 1: and Side, because these are the kind of conversations that

1415
00:59:02,721 --> 00:59:04,801
Speaker 1: we have on our lives and our trainings with the

1416
00:59:04,841 --> 00:59:06,881
Speaker 1: girl in the community, Like this is why we created it,

1417
00:59:06,921 --> 00:59:09,881
Speaker 1: because these kind of conversations are really important. They are,

1418
00:59:09,921 --> 00:59:11,201
Speaker 1: and we.

1419
00:59:11,161 --> 00:59:13,561
Speaker 2: Wanted to showcase a little bit of that today as well,

1420
00:59:13,641 --> 00:59:15,081
Speaker 2: because we want you to know that it's safe to

1421
00:59:15,081 --> 00:59:18,161
Speaker 2: have these conversations and that when you have these conversations,

1422
00:59:18,161 --> 00:59:19,441
Speaker 2: you don't need to judge yourself for it.

1423
00:59:19,441 --> 00:59:21,401
Speaker 1: And like We're not here to label ourselves good or

1424
00:59:21,441 --> 00:59:21,921
Speaker 1: bad not.

1425
00:59:22,001 --> 00:59:24,201
Speaker 2: We're here to explore all of who we are and

1426
00:59:24,241 --> 00:59:27,201
Speaker 2: what actually exists underneath the surface of who we are

1427
00:59:27,241 --> 00:59:30,801
Speaker 2: as people, and that is messy, makes mistakes, fox up

1428
00:59:30,841 --> 00:59:33,001
Speaker 2: sometimes is not perfect, and we want to learn how

1429
00:59:33,041 --> 00:59:34,641
Speaker 2: to bring love into all of those places and.

1430
00:59:34,801 --> 00:59:36,721
Speaker 1: In playfulness, and that's exactly what we do in Side

1431
00:59:36,801 --> 00:59:38,481
Speaker 1: Rise and Sides. You want to be a part of

1432
00:59:38,481 --> 00:59:41,001
Speaker 1: our growth and get on our wavelength and being our energy,

1433
00:59:41,041 --> 00:59:42,601
Speaker 1: then come and join us. We'll leave the link in

1434
00:59:42,601 --> 00:59:44,641
Speaker 1: the description box or just come over to our instagrams

1435
00:59:44,641 --> 00:59:46,521
Speaker 1: and should just some messages say I want to be

1436
00:59:46,521 --> 00:59:49,081
Speaker 1: a part of them. Will will, Yeah, we get We'll

1437
00:59:49,081 --> 00:59:50,801
Speaker 1: get you amongst But thanks for joining us and we'll

1438
00:59:50,801 --> 00:59:53,441
Speaker 1: see you tomorrow for best in submission. Bye,