WEBVTT - Just keep swimming, just keep swimming

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<v Speaker 1>Apodhake Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am I

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<v Speaker 1>A Bad Mom?

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<v Speaker 2>Podcast?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh something happened the other day and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my god, I'm causing my kids trauma. I know,

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<v Speaker 1>we talk about that word all the time, like we've

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<v Speaker 1>all got it, we're all causing it, We've all had

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<v Speaker 1>it from our parents and all the rest of it.

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<v Speaker 1>But we were having a go at Holly because she

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<v Speaker 1>goes to bed really late. And I know she doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>have school at the moment, but still I'm finding she

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<v Speaker 1>will go to bed really really late, and then she's

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<v Speaker 1>tired the next day, and then she sleeps in too

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<v Speaker 1>long and then she misses the day. Like It's like

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<v Speaker 1>you go from one extreme to the other as parents,

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<v Speaker 1>like you go from really really early rises, yes, kids

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<v Speaker 1>waking up super early in the morning, and then putting

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<v Speaker 1>them to bed early, and then it goes to the

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<v Speaker 1>other extreme where they just want to be night hours.

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<v Speaker 1>They want to be up until Honestly, if we let her,

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<v Speaker 1>she would god knows what time she would go to bed. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>We'll tell her her off. She's tired the next day,

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<v Speaker 1>what time did you go to bed? Like we woke

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<v Speaker 1>up in the morning after we'd gone to bed and

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<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden, you've got nail polish on, and.

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<v Speaker 2>She's been up all night.

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<v Speaker 1>She's been up doing stuff in her bedroom all night.

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<v Speaker 1>And she then turns around and go, no, I did

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<v Speaker 1>go to bed, And she's like arguing it because that's

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<v Speaker 1>what teenagers do. Jay turned around and went, no, you didn't.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that because we've got a camera in your room.

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<v Speaker 2>We don't.

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<v Speaker 1>Have a camera in her room. She turns around and goes, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I've got a camera in your room. Jay, quick off

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<v Speaker 1>the beat, goes, oh really, you don't want to see

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<v Speaker 1>what happens in there.

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<v Speaker 2>No, Oh my gosh, I knew that he was going

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<v Speaker 2>to say that.

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<v Speaker 1>She was absolutely disgusted. I was like, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>why would you say that? Horrified?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she's horrified.

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<v Speaker 3>Now she's like, oh my gosh, even having that thought remotely.

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<v Speaker 2>Crossed my mind. At that age, you're like, oh, that

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<v Speaker 2>is just horrid. Yeah, oh my gosh, Jay, parenting I know.

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<v Speaker 1>And I take around today and when you wish that

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<v Speaker 1>happened to.

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<v Speaker 3>Am I a bad mum for almost drowning my kids?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my goodness.

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<v Speaker 3>It was actually a sibling sort of altercation between myself

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<v Speaker 3>and my brother and we all go when we were

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<v Speaker 3>all carrying on, it's all fun until someone takes it

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<v Speaker 3>too far. Yeah, and you've always got that one sibling

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<v Speaker 3>that's just going to push the little envelope a little

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<v Speaker 3>bit too, like not too far.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't get me wrong. I was having a good go too.

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<v Speaker 3>But you forget when you're in such playful state, eat

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<v Speaker 3>with your siblings, or you know, like in the swimming

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<v Speaker 3>pool and everyone's having fun and you're like sun and

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<v Speaker 3>all the rest. We hadn't even been drinking, so don't

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<v Speaker 3>worry about that. And my brother's like after me, right,

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<v Speaker 3>and he's just trying to literally drown me.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's funny. How you go back to being like

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<v Speaker 1>ten again?

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<v Speaker 2>And I did. I had moments of flashbacks going.

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<v Speaker 3>I remember at the swimming pool when we as kids

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<v Speaker 3>at ten, when my brother still tried to drown me,

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<v Speaker 3>but it was much deeper.

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<v Speaker 1>Still to this day, my step brother and I as

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<v Speaker 1>kids would do headstand competitions. Oh yeah, and every time

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<v Speaker 1>we'd get together, it'd be like who does the best

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<v Speaker 1>headstand for longer? And I like to think that I

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<v Speaker 1>was always the winner. But to this day as adults

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<v Speaker 1>we catch up. I go, how's your headstands? And I'll

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<v Speaker 1>do one. So I'll just do one.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I want to show off.

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, don't even get me started. That's a

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<v Speaker 3>complete side story, but you'd be impressed. There was a

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<v Speaker 3>little bit of that happening Christmas Day night. There was

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<v Speaker 3>a few parents trying to do headstands and it was

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<v Speaker 3>a horrible, horrible steak.

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<v Speaker 2>To be in.

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<v Speaker 3>But yeah, my brother was just trying to drown me,

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<v Speaker 3>literally grabbing my leg like you know when you're on

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<v Speaker 3>one leg and you're hopping in the pool, you're trying

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<v Speaker 3>to stay afloat, and he's just like literally getting one

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<v Speaker 3>leg and just drowning me.

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<v Speaker 1>So then the kids seeing so watch it. It looks

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<v Speaker 1>like his daughter my two and they're laughing.

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<v Speaker 2>They think we're all having the best of types.

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<v Speaker 3>Like genuinely, at one stage, I was like, bro, you

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<v Speaker 3>have to stop because I'm actually drowning. And then all

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<v Speaker 3>of a sudden I turn around and they're doing the

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<v Speaker 3>same thing each other, trying to d yep there after

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<v Speaker 3>each other.

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<v Speaker 2>They think it's a game.

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<v Speaker 3>Now we're all inclusive, and you're going, I'm not drowning

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<v Speaker 3>you I'm not going to pick you up by one

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<v Speaker 3>leg and put you under the water.

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<v Speaker 2>You're my child.

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<v Speaker 3>Like as much as I really you know, some days

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<v Speaker 3>probably feel deep down that I'll definitely give it a

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<v Speaker 3>good go. I was like, no, I'm not doing that,

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<v Speaker 3>and they're like, come on, why you're not doing it?

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<v Speaker 2>Uncle Jay, just do that to you. And I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>that does not mean it's okay. Like I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>anyone to do it.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm in the swimming pool, like I haven't got time

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<v Speaker 3>to move house right now, so just I'm not having

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<v Speaker 3>anyone drowned in the swimming pool.

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<v Speaker 2>Please time to move.

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<v Speaker 1>House right now. First thought, if someone drowns in your pool, you.

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<v Speaker 2>Have to have your house. Can't live there anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>We had a birthday party once when the girls were

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<v Speaker 1>about three. It was chaos, yah, a pool party. So

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<v Speaker 1>they had all of these kids and I just said

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<v Speaker 1>to the parents, please just watch your own kids, watch

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<v Speaker 1>your own child, so that I know there's eyes on

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<v Speaker 1>all of them. This little boy in the pool we

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<v Speaker 1>had like the floaties and stuff out, he had got

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<v Speaker 1>caught under the inflatable. This is quite traumatic because it

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<v Speaker 1>was such a non event, like he wasn't thrashing around, splashing,

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<v Speaker 1>It wasn't this great big deal. It was just this

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<v Speaker 1>really quiet and until one of the dads went in

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<v Speaker 1>in his jeans into the pool and grabbed him. We

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<v Speaker 1>were like, fuck, all the kids were just having fun.

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<v Speaker 1>There was no drama anyway. It was so quiet the

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<v Speaker 1>way he was just under it and couldn't get out.

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<v Speaker 3>So we did exactly the same thing, exact same situation

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<v Speaker 3>one of them.

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<v Speaker 2>But I was like, Lisa, you didn't have to move house.

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<v Speaker 1>Else.

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<v Speaker 3>But yeah, I did exactly the same thing. One of

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<v Speaker 3>the girls. It was their birthday party. Invited they wanted

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<v Speaker 3>a pool party, and you think at the time, that's easy.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't have to go and battle indoor play centers and

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<v Speaker 3>all that stuff. So my whole thing was if you

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<v Speaker 3>were bringing your child along, you just have to watch them. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>if your child enters that water, you have to be

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<v Speaker 3>in the pool area and watching them. I'm not responsible

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<v Speaker 3>for other people's children that can't swim or can swim

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<v Speaker 3>or anything, because they might be the most comfortable, strongest swimmer,

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<v Speaker 3>and if someone's sitting on that floating it just makes

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<v Speaker 3>me so Yeah. I was always the same because we

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<v Speaker 3>had a few near run ins like that where I

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<v Speaker 3>was like, no, pool parties no longer exist at this

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<v Speaker 3>and then stressful, Yeah, I know, but now they're bigger,

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<v Speaker 3>they just I do more stressful stupid things. And this

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<v Speaker 3>takes me back to like, you know, almost wanting to

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<v Speaker 3>drown them. It's like every time I turn around, they're

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<v Speaker 3>just trying to do backflips.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, why are you doing that?

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<v Speaker 3>Stop doing that.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't do that. That's just stupid. You're going to take

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<v Speaker 2>your face off, You're going to hit your head on side.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got time to go to the hospital.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know what you're doing tonight, but I'm not

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<v Speaker 3>at the hospital, and.

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't got time to go to the hospital because

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<v Speaker 1>I'm drowning my brother in the pool.

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<v Speaker 2>Or getting drowned by my brother in the rule.

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<v Speaker 3>And you shouldn't be watching because now you think you

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<v Speaker 3>should do that to your other siblings. And then you know,

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<v Speaker 3>Elsie comes in and that's that three seconds that you

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<v Speaker 3>just stop watching or stop fussing or stop and then

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<v Speaker 3>she comes in and she's like, mom, I've just and

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<v Speaker 3>I looked at her and I was like how, And

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<v Speaker 3>she's scun all there all the skin often nose on.

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<v Speaker 2>The bridge of the step. She was like, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>I just wasn't watching. I said, it's stop doing the backflip.

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<v Speaker 1>Stop stop doing the backflips, but also stop watching me

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<v Speaker 1>in the pool. Yeah, getting drowned by my brother.

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<v Speaker 2>Babe, I tried to.

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<v Speaker 3>This is so embarrassing, but I'm going to say it anyway.

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<v Speaker 3>This is just absolutely going back on everything I've just said.

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<v Speaker 3>But I was in the pool with my two it

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<v Speaker 3>was just the three of us, and I could watch

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<v Speaker 3>Elsie and she was trying to do backflips, and because

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<v Speaker 3>I was there, I felt safe, so I was watching her.

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<v Speaker 3>It wasn't anywhere that was of danger, and I was

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<v Speaker 3>sort of going, you need to push out more from

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<v Speaker 3>the side so that you're not even close to the edge.

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<v Speaker 3>You need to do this like little things in my

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<v Speaker 3>head that I remember doing as a kid.

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<v Speaker 2>Katie. I'm giving them tips as to how to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>So then I do, what do you think I do?

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<v Speaker 2>You did it?

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<v Speaker 1>Back?

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<v Speaker 2>I reckon, I can do it. Oh my god. It

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<v Speaker 2>was the biggest.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, the girls laughed so hard at me, and I

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<v Speaker 3>genuinely pride an ego aside a little bit hurt was

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<v Speaker 3>like tears cross. I thought in my head I still

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<v Speaker 3>would look like I did when I was ten doing

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<v Speaker 3>the backflips, but I just literally fucking fell on my back.

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<v Speaker 3>It was so embarrassed backwards, like you watch me and

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<v Speaker 3>like I would be able to do it and.

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<v Speaker 1>You can't get over.

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<v Speaker 2>My body doesn't do it. My body does not do

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<v Speaker 2>that anymore.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't have the flexibility, not that I'm of flexibility cut,

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<v Speaker 3>but I used to be able to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and this Katie wasn't even from the edge. This

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<v Speaker 2>was inside the pool, which should mean that I should

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<v Speaker 2>be able to do it, and it should be easier.

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<v Speaker 1>Because you're so much lighter. Yeah, water, what a dick?

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<v Speaker 2>Were you turning? Forty?

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<v Speaker 1>This how embarrassing happens. You can't do backflips anymore. I

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<v Speaker 1>need to stop doing headstands. When I saw a photo

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<v Speaker 1>of me doing a headstand, I was like, wow, you

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<v Speaker 1>know how upside down because of gravity? Jeez, when your

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<v Speaker 1>face drops like that, you look old. My goodness, I

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<v Speaker 1>was so shocked with it upside down. Who ever thought

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<v Speaker 1>that your face would look like that when you do

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<v Speaker 1>a headstand upside down?

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<v Speaker 3>Me?

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<v Speaker 2>Aren't two percent in I like.

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<v Speaker 3>It's kind of those moments where you go, oh wow,

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<v Speaker 3>in my head, I don't look like that I nailed

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<v Speaker 3>that backflip. In my head, I actually look like I'm

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<v Speaker 3>going to the Olympics for backflip, and I actually just

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<v Speaker 3>landed on my back as flat as you can think of.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway.

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<v Speaker 3>On that note, turning forty this year, I don't need

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<v Speaker 3>to be better at my back flips.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna says, only downhill from here my way.

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<v Speaker 2>We're only going to get better. What is it forty thirty?

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<v Speaker 1>Life begins at forty?

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<v Speaker 2>Life begins at forty. I do believe that, okay, And.

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<v Speaker 1>You know why it begins at forty because forty seems

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<v Speaker 1>to be the age where you realize how fucked up

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<v Speaker 1>you are and start dealing with your traumas that you

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<v Speaker 1>never did in your twenties or thirties.

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<v Speaker 3>Babe, I've been dealing with themiss my late twenties bucket.

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<v Speaker 3>What's another ten years, Let's do it.