1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: Apodhake Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am I 2 00:00:25,241 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: A Bad Mom? 3 00:00:26,601 --> 00:00:27,321 Speaker 2: Podcast? 4 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,681 Speaker 1: Oh something happened the other day and I was like, 5 00:00:29,721 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm causing my kids trauma. I know, 6 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:35,961 Speaker 1: we talk about that word all the time, like we've 7 00:00:36,001 --> 00:00:38,641 Speaker 1: all got it, we're all causing it, We've all had 8 00:00:38,681 --> 00:00:40,761 Speaker 1: it from our parents and all the rest of it. 9 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,961 Speaker 1: But we were having a go at Holly because she 10 00:00:45,161 --> 00:00:47,281 Speaker 1: goes to bed really late. And I know she doesn't 11 00:00:47,321 --> 00:00:49,921 Speaker 1: have school at the moment, but still I'm finding she 12 00:00:50,001 --> 00:00:52,201 Speaker 1: will go to bed really really late, and then she's 13 00:00:52,241 --> 00:00:53,881 Speaker 1: tired the next day, and then she sleeps in too 14 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,321 Speaker 1: long and then she misses the day. Like It's like 15 00:00:56,801 --> 00:00:59,081 Speaker 1: you go from one extreme to the other as parents, 16 00:00:59,161 --> 00:01:04,401 Speaker 1: like you go from really really early rises, yes, kids 17 00:01:04,401 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: waking up super early in the morning, and then putting 18 00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:09,481 Speaker 1: them to bed early, and then it goes to the 19 00:01:09,601 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: other extreme where they just want to be night hours. 20 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:17,321 Speaker 1: They want to be up until Honestly, if we let her, 21 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: she would god knows what time she would go to bed. Anyway, 22 00:01:21,521 --> 00:01:23,441 Speaker 1: We'll tell her her off. She's tired the next day, 23 00:01:23,601 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: what time did you go to bed? Like we woke 24 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,681 Speaker 1: up in the morning after we'd gone to bed and 25 00:01:27,681 --> 00:01:32,241 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you've got nail polish on, and. 26 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,000 Speaker 2: She's been up all night. 27 00:01:32,081 --> 00:01:34,441 Speaker 1: She's been up doing stuff in her bedroom all night. 28 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:37,641 Speaker 1: And she then turns around and go, no, I did 29 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,961 Speaker 1: go to bed, And she's like arguing it because that's 30 00:01:39,961 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: what teenagers do. Jay turned around and went, no, you didn't. 31 00:01:42,961 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 1: I know that because we've got a camera in your room. 32 00:01:46,161 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 2: We don't. 33 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:52,481 Speaker 1: Have a camera in her room. She turns around and goes, well, 34 00:01:52,521 --> 00:01:57,041 Speaker 1: I've got a camera in your room. Jay, quick off 35 00:01:57,081 --> 00:02:00,761 Speaker 1: the beat, goes, oh really, you don't want to see 36 00:02:00,801 --> 00:02:01,601 Speaker 1: what happens in there. 37 00:02:02,441 --> 00:02:04,921 Speaker 2: No, Oh my gosh, I knew that he was going 38 00:02:04,961 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 2: to say that. 39 00:02:05,561 --> 00:02:07,921 Speaker 1: She was absolutely disgusted. I was like, oh my god, 40 00:02:07,921 --> 00:02:10,041 Speaker 1: why would you say that? Horrified? 41 00:02:10,161 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, she's horrified. 42 00:02:11,161 --> 00:02:15,481 Speaker 3: Now she's like, oh my gosh, even having that thought remotely. 43 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,401 Speaker 2: Crossed my mind. At that age, you're like, oh, that 44 00:02:18,601 --> 00:02:22,961 Speaker 2: is just horrid. Yeah, oh my gosh, Jay, parenting I know. 45 00:02:23,041 --> 00:02:24,801 Speaker 1: And I take around today and when you wish that 46 00:02:24,921 --> 00:02:25,281 Speaker 1: happened to. 47 00:02:36,761 --> 00:02:41,681 Speaker 3: Am I a bad mum for almost drowning my kids? 48 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:42,601 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. 49 00:02:42,881 --> 00:02:46,641 Speaker 3: It was actually a sibling sort of altercation between myself 50 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:50,161 Speaker 3: and my brother and we all go when we were 51 00:02:50,201 --> 00:02:53,001 Speaker 3: all carrying on, it's all fun until someone takes it 52 00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:55,361 Speaker 3: too far. Yeah, and you've always got that one sibling 53 00:02:55,401 --> 00:02:57,481 Speaker 3: that's just going to push the little envelope a little 54 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 3: bit too, like not too far. 55 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:00,681 Speaker 2: Don't get me wrong. I was having a good go too. 56 00:03:00,841 --> 00:03:05,481 Speaker 3: But you forget when you're in such playful state, eat 57 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:09,001 Speaker 3: with your siblings, or you know, like in the swimming 58 00:03:09,041 --> 00:03:12,201 Speaker 3: pool and everyone's having fun and you're like sun and 59 00:03:12,281 --> 00:03:14,041 Speaker 3: all the rest. We hadn't even been drinking, so don't 60 00:03:14,081 --> 00:03:17,601 Speaker 3: worry about that. And my brother's like after me, right, 61 00:03:17,641 --> 00:03:19,881 Speaker 3: and he's just trying to literally drown me. 62 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,281 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's funny. How you go back to being like 63 00:03:23,401 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 1: ten again? 64 00:03:26,281 --> 00:03:28,481 Speaker 2: And I did. I had moments of flashbacks going. 65 00:03:28,481 --> 00:03:30,921 Speaker 3: I remember at the swimming pool when we as kids 66 00:03:31,201 --> 00:03:33,321 Speaker 3: at ten, when my brother still tried to drown me, 67 00:03:33,841 --> 00:03:34,841 Speaker 3: but it was much deeper. 68 00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:39,521 Speaker 1: Still to this day, my step brother and I as 69 00:03:39,641 --> 00:03:44,081 Speaker 1: kids would do headstand competitions. Oh yeah, and every time 70 00:03:44,121 --> 00:03:46,161 Speaker 1: we'd get together, it'd be like who does the best 71 00:03:46,441 --> 00:03:49,401 Speaker 1: headstand for longer? And I like to think that I 72 00:03:49,441 --> 00:03:52,121 Speaker 1: was always the winner. But to this day as adults 73 00:03:52,521 --> 00:03:54,761 Speaker 1: we catch up. I go, how's your headstands? And I'll 74 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:57,241 Speaker 1: do one. So I'll just do one. 75 00:03:57,041 --> 00:03:58,041 Speaker 2: Because I want to show off. 76 00:03:58,121 --> 00:03:59,761 Speaker 3: I was like, don't even get me started. That's a 77 00:03:59,801 --> 00:04:02,241 Speaker 3: complete side story, but you'd be impressed. There was a 78 00:04:02,321 --> 00:04:05,881 Speaker 3: little bit of that happening Christmas Day night. There was 79 00:04:05,921 --> 00:04:07,881 Speaker 3: a few parents trying to do headstands and it was 80 00:04:08,441 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 3: a horrible, horrible steak. 81 00:04:10,561 --> 00:04:11,001 Speaker 2: To be in. 82 00:04:11,441 --> 00:04:13,121 Speaker 3: But yeah, my brother was just trying to drown me, 83 00:04:13,361 --> 00:04:16,161 Speaker 3: literally grabbing my leg like you know when you're on 84 00:04:16,161 --> 00:04:18,361 Speaker 3: one leg and you're hopping in the pool, you're trying 85 00:04:18,361 --> 00:04:20,801 Speaker 3: to stay afloat, and he's just like literally getting one 86 00:04:20,881 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 3: leg and just drowning me. 87 00:04:22,801 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: So then the kids seeing so watch it. It looks 88 00:04:25,481 --> 00:04:28,841 Speaker 1: like his daughter my two and they're laughing. 89 00:04:28,921 --> 00:04:30,401 Speaker 2: They think we're all having the best of types. 90 00:04:30,481 --> 00:04:32,561 Speaker 3: Like genuinely, at one stage, I was like, bro, you 91 00:04:32,601 --> 00:04:35,441 Speaker 3: have to stop because I'm actually drowning. And then all 92 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,561 Speaker 3: of a sudden I turn around and they're doing the 93 00:04:37,601 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 3: same thing each other, trying to d yep there after 94 00:04:41,721 --> 00:04:42,161 Speaker 3: each other. 95 00:04:42,361 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 2: They think it's a game. 96 00:04:43,401 --> 00:04:46,681 Speaker 3: Now we're all inclusive, and you're going, I'm not drowning 97 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,161 Speaker 3: you I'm not going to pick you up by one 98 00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 3: leg and put you under the water. 99 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:50,681 Speaker 2: You're my child. 100 00:04:50,761 --> 00:04:52,561 Speaker 3: Like as much as I really you know, some days 101 00:04:52,561 --> 00:04:55,001 Speaker 3: probably feel deep down that I'll definitely give it a 102 00:04:55,001 --> 00:04:57,721 Speaker 3: good go. I was like, no, I'm not doing that, 103 00:04:57,761 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 3: and they're like, come on, why you're not doing it? 104 00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 2: Uncle Jay, just do that to you. And I was like, 105 00:05:02,641 --> 00:05:04,361 Speaker 2: that does not mean it's okay. Like I don't want 106 00:05:04,401 --> 00:05:04,921 Speaker 2: anyone to do it. 107 00:05:05,041 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 3: I'm in the swimming pool, like I haven't got time 108 00:05:06,921 --> 00:05:08,961 Speaker 3: to move house right now, so just I'm not having 109 00:05:08,961 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 3: anyone drowned in the swimming pool. 110 00:05:10,241 --> 00:05:11,601 Speaker 2: Please time to move. 111 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:16,321 Speaker 1: House right now. First thought, if someone drowns in your pool, you. 112 00:05:16,201 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 2: Have to have your house. Can't live there anymore. 113 00:05:20,201 --> 00:05:22,401 Speaker 1: We had a birthday party once when the girls were 114 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:26,121 Speaker 1: about three. It was chaos, yah, a pool party. So 115 00:05:26,161 --> 00:05:28,201 Speaker 1: they had all of these kids and I just said 116 00:05:28,201 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: to the parents, please just watch your own kids, watch 117 00:05:32,001 --> 00:05:34,921 Speaker 1: your own child, so that I know there's eyes on 118 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: all of them. This little boy in the pool we 119 00:05:37,481 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 1: had like the floaties and stuff out, he had got 120 00:05:41,481 --> 00:05:46,601 Speaker 1: caught under the inflatable. This is quite traumatic because it 121 00:05:46,761 --> 00:05:52,801 Speaker 1: was such a non event, like he wasn't thrashing around, splashing, 122 00:05:53,201 --> 00:05:56,281 Speaker 1: It wasn't this great big deal. It was just this 123 00:05:56,521 --> 00:06:00,281 Speaker 1: really quiet and until one of the dads went in 124 00:06:00,281 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: in his jeans into the pool and grabbed him. We 125 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,881 Speaker 1: were like, fuck, all the kids were just having fun. 126 00:06:05,921 --> 00:06:08,561 Speaker 1: There was no drama anyway. It was so quiet the 127 00:06:08,681 --> 00:06:11,121 Speaker 1: way he was just under it and couldn't get out. 128 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 3: So we did exactly the same thing, exact same situation 129 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:15,241 Speaker 3: one of them. 130 00:06:15,601 --> 00:06:17,921 Speaker 2: But I was like, Lisa, you didn't have to move house. 131 00:06:19,721 --> 00:06:20,081 Speaker 1: Else. 132 00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:23,801 Speaker 3: But yeah, I did exactly the same thing. One of 133 00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,681 Speaker 3: the girls. It was their birthday party. Invited they wanted 134 00:06:26,681 --> 00:06:29,601 Speaker 3: a pool party, and you think at the time, that's easy. 135 00:06:29,721 --> 00:06:32,921 Speaker 3: Don't have to go and battle indoor play centers and 136 00:06:32,961 --> 00:06:35,241 Speaker 3: all that stuff. So my whole thing was if you 137 00:06:35,281 --> 00:06:38,361 Speaker 3: were bringing your child along, you just have to watch them. Yeah, 138 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 3: if your child enters that water, you have to be 139 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,881 Speaker 3: in the pool area and watching them. I'm not responsible 140 00:06:42,921 --> 00:06:45,801 Speaker 3: for other people's children that can't swim or can swim 141 00:06:45,921 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 3: or anything, because they might be the most comfortable, strongest swimmer, 142 00:06:50,641 --> 00:06:53,001 Speaker 3: and if someone's sitting on that floating it just makes 143 00:06:53,041 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 3: me so Yeah. I was always the same because we 144 00:06:55,801 --> 00:06:57,841 Speaker 3: had a few near run ins like that where I 145 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,121 Speaker 3: was like, no, pool parties no longer exist at this 146 00:07:01,641 --> 00:07:04,481 Speaker 3: and then stressful, Yeah, I know, but now they're bigger, 147 00:07:04,601 --> 00:07:07,681 Speaker 3: they just I do more stressful stupid things. And this 148 00:07:07,921 --> 00:07:10,161 Speaker 3: takes me back to like, you know, almost wanting to 149 00:07:10,241 --> 00:07:13,281 Speaker 3: drown them. It's like every time I turn around, they're 150 00:07:13,321 --> 00:07:15,081 Speaker 3: just trying to do backflips. 151 00:07:14,761 --> 00:07:16,121 Speaker 2: And I was like, why are you doing that? 152 00:07:16,401 --> 00:07:17,161 Speaker 3: Stop doing that. 153 00:07:17,281 --> 00:07:19,841 Speaker 2: Don't do that. That's just stupid. You're going to take 154 00:07:19,841 --> 00:07:21,881 Speaker 2: your face off, You're going to hit your head on side. 155 00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,601 Speaker 2: I've got time to go to the hospital. 156 00:07:23,881 --> 00:07:25,641 Speaker 3: I don't know what you're doing tonight, but I'm not 157 00:07:25,681 --> 00:07:27,481 Speaker 3: at the hospital, and. 158 00:07:27,841 --> 00:07:30,081 Speaker 1: I haven't got time to go to the hospital because 159 00:07:30,081 --> 00:07:31,961 Speaker 1: I'm drowning my brother in the pool. 160 00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:34,401 Speaker 2: Or getting drowned by my brother in the rule. 161 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,721 Speaker 3: And you shouldn't be watching because now you think you 162 00:07:36,761 --> 00:07:39,401 Speaker 3: should do that to your other siblings. And then you know, 163 00:07:39,481 --> 00:07:42,921 Speaker 3: Elsie comes in and that's that three seconds that you 164 00:07:43,161 --> 00:07:47,241 Speaker 3: just stop watching or stop fussing or stop and then 165 00:07:47,361 --> 00:07:50,001 Speaker 3: she comes in and she's like, mom, I've just and 166 00:07:50,041 --> 00:07:52,721 Speaker 3: I looked at her and I was like how, And 167 00:07:52,761 --> 00:07:58,001 Speaker 3: she's scun all there all the skin often nose on. 168 00:07:57,921 --> 00:08:00,521 Speaker 2: The bridge of the step. She was like, I don't know, 169 00:08:00,561 --> 00:08:03,681 Speaker 2: I just wasn't watching. I said, it's stop doing the backflip. 170 00:08:04,161 --> 00:08:08,521 Speaker 1: Stop stop doing the backflips, but also stop watching me 171 00:08:08,561 --> 00:08:12,081 Speaker 1: in the pool. Yeah, getting drowned by my brother. 172 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,681 Speaker 2: Babe, I tried to. 173 00:08:14,001 --> 00:08:16,361 Speaker 3: This is so embarrassing, but I'm going to say it anyway. 174 00:08:16,601 --> 00:08:19,481 Speaker 3: This is just absolutely going back on everything I've just said. 175 00:08:19,481 --> 00:08:21,681 Speaker 3: But I was in the pool with my two it 176 00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:24,121 Speaker 3: was just the three of us, and I could watch 177 00:08:24,201 --> 00:08:26,321 Speaker 3: Elsie and she was trying to do backflips, and because 178 00:08:26,361 --> 00:08:28,601 Speaker 3: I was there, I felt safe, so I was watching her. 179 00:08:28,681 --> 00:08:31,041 Speaker 3: It wasn't anywhere that was of danger, and I was 180 00:08:31,081 --> 00:08:33,281 Speaker 3: sort of going, you need to push out more from 181 00:08:33,321 --> 00:08:35,401 Speaker 3: the side so that you're not even close to the edge. 182 00:08:35,401 --> 00:08:37,041 Speaker 3: You need to do this like little things in my 183 00:08:37,121 --> 00:08:39,201 Speaker 3: head that I remember doing as a kid. 184 00:08:39,601 --> 00:08:42,361 Speaker 2: Katie. I'm giving them tips as to how to do it. 185 00:08:42,441 --> 00:08:44,041 Speaker 2: So then I do, what do you think I do? 186 00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:44,561 Speaker 2: You did it? 187 00:08:44,601 --> 00:08:44,761 Speaker 1: Back? 188 00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:47,721 Speaker 2: I reckon, I can do it. Oh my god. It 189 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:48,601 Speaker 2: was the biggest. 190 00:08:48,641 --> 00:08:54,601 Speaker 3: Like, the girls laughed so hard at me, and I 191 00:08:54,681 --> 00:08:58,641 Speaker 3: genuinely pride an ego aside a little bit hurt was 192 00:08:58,721 --> 00:09:02,081 Speaker 3: like tears cross. I thought in my head I still 193 00:09:02,161 --> 00:09:04,201 Speaker 3: would look like I did when I was ten doing 194 00:09:04,201 --> 00:09:06,921 Speaker 3: the backflips, but I just literally fucking fell on my back. 195 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,441 Speaker 3: It was so embarrassed backwards, like you watch me and 196 00:09:11,561 --> 00:09:13,361 Speaker 3: like I would be able to do it and. 197 00:09:13,481 --> 00:09:14,201 Speaker 1: You can't get over. 198 00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:16,481 Speaker 2: My body doesn't do it. My body does not do 199 00:09:16,561 --> 00:09:17,081 Speaker 2: that anymore. 200 00:09:17,161 --> 00:09:21,001 Speaker 3: I don't have the flexibility, not that I'm of flexibility cut, 201 00:09:21,201 --> 00:09:22,561 Speaker 3: but I used to be able to do it. 202 00:09:22,841 --> 00:09:25,121 Speaker 2: Yeah, and this Katie wasn't even from the edge. This 203 00:09:25,281 --> 00:09:27,361 Speaker 2: was inside the pool, which should mean that I should 204 00:09:27,361 --> 00:09:29,161 Speaker 2: be able to do it, and it should be easier. 205 00:09:28,841 --> 00:09:31,521 Speaker 1: Because you're so much lighter. Yeah, water, what a dick? 206 00:09:31,761 --> 00:09:32,641 Speaker 2: Were you turning? Forty? 207 00:09:32,681 --> 00:09:36,041 Speaker 1: This how embarrassing happens. You can't do backflips anymore. I 208 00:09:36,081 --> 00:09:39,001 Speaker 1: need to stop doing headstands. When I saw a photo 209 00:09:39,041 --> 00:09:42,681 Speaker 1: of me doing a headstand, I was like, wow, you 210 00:09:42,721 --> 00:09:47,161 Speaker 1: know how upside down because of gravity? Jeez, when your 211 00:09:47,161 --> 00:09:51,041 Speaker 1: face drops like that, you look old. My goodness, I 212 00:09:51,161 --> 00:09:55,241 Speaker 1: was so shocked with it upside down. Who ever thought 213 00:09:55,281 --> 00:09:56,921 Speaker 1: that your face would look like that when you do 214 00:09:56,961 --> 00:09:58,281 Speaker 1: a headstand upside down? 215 00:09:58,521 --> 00:09:58,601 Speaker 3: Me? 216 00:09:59,361 --> 00:10:00,761 Speaker 2: Aren't two percent in I like. 217 00:10:00,841 --> 00:10:03,441 Speaker 3: It's kind of those moments where you go, oh wow, 218 00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:05,961 Speaker 3: in my head, I don't look like that I nailed 219 00:10:05,961 --> 00:10:08,921 Speaker 3: that backflip. In my head, I actually look like I'm 220 00:10:08,961 --> 00:10:12,041 Speaker 3: going to the Olympics for backflip, and I actually just 221 00:10:12,121 --> 00:10:14,681 Speaker 3: landed on my back as flat as you can think of. 222 00:10:15,561 --> 00:10:15,961 Speaker 2: Anyway. 223 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:19,361 Speaker 3: On that note, turning forty this year, I don't need 224 00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,121 Speaker 3: to be better at my back flips. 225 00:10:22,721 --> 00:10:25,521 Speaker 1: I'm gonna says, only downhill from here my way. 226 00:10:25,681 --> 00:10:28,921 Speaker 2: We're only going to get better. What is it forty thirty? 227 00:10:29,121 --> 00:10:30,081 Speaker 1: Life begins at forty? 228 00:10:30,201 --> 00:10:32,841 Speaker 2: Life begins at forty. I do believe that, okay, And. 229 00:10:32,921 --> 00:10:36,041 Speaker 1: You know why it begins at forty because forty seems 230 00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:38,241 Speaker 1: to be the age where you realize how fucked up 231 00:10:38,281 --> 00:10:40,321 Speaker 1: you are and start dealing with your traumas that you 232 00:10:40,561 --> 00:10:42,281 Speaker 1: never did in your twenties or thirties. 233 00:10:42,521 --> 00:10:46,641 Speaker 3: Babe, I've been dealing with themiss my late twenties bucket. 234 00:10:46,641 --> 00:10:51,721 Speaker 3: What's another ten years, Let's do it.