Speaker 1: We'd like to acknowledge that traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: on which this podcast was produced the Gadighl people of
Speaker 1: the orination. We pay our respects to Elder's past and present.
Speaker 1: This episode contains discussion of suicide. If this raises any
Speaker 1: issues for you, support is available through the links and
Speaker 1: phone numbers in the show notes.
Speaker 2: It's twenty thirteen and we're on a family holiday in
Speaker 2: Thailand with Sam Bloom. Days are spent swimming and relaxing.
Speaker 2: Sam thinks to herself, it doesn't get much better than this.
Speaker 2: After a few days, the Blooms decide to head north
Speaker 2: and check into a new hotel. They excitedly spot a
Speaker 2: rooftop lookout. Sam leans on a wooden railing, but it
Speaker 2: has rotted and collapses, causing her to plumit two stories.
Speaker 2: She's rushed to hospital and will spend the coming days
Speaker 2: undergoing multiple surgeries before being medivacked back home to Sydney.
Speaker 2: It's an anxious weight at hospital, Sam will never walk again.
Speaker 2: The next few months are filled with intensive rehab and
Speaker 2: heartbreaking thoughts. Sam doesn't want to be here anymore. When
Speaker 2: one day, a frail and injured Magpie shows up on
Speaker 2: the family doorstep. She's black, white and waddles. So Sam's
Speaker 2: sons name her Penguin. I'm at Middleton and this is Headgame.
Speaker 2: In this episode, our penguin saved the well parasurfing champion
Speaker 2: Sam Bloom. Sam Bloom, welcome to my podcast head Game.
Speaker 2: Do you know what when I read your story, I
Speaker 2: recognized it. Then when I realized what unfolded from a
Speaker 2: negative to I suppose a positive story, it was cat
Speaker 2: It was quite shocking to me. But can you just
Speaker 2: take us back to what your family household was like
Speaker 2: before the incident happened.
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, I've got three boys. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 3: we live on the Northern Beaches in Sydney, so we
Speaker 3: grow up. You know, we spent a lot of time
Speaker 3: at the beach. We spent a lot of time outdoors,
Speaker 3: super active family. Like I always say, the boys bushwalking,
Speaker 3: on mountain, biking and just everything. Our whole life was
Speaker 3: spent outside and you know that was who we were.
Speaker 3: We had you know, I had a great life. It
Speaker 3: was awesome. I absolutely loved my life and I love
Speaker 3: you know, like if the boys are riding skateboards and
Speaker 3: always grab the skateboarding ride, U skated with them and
Speaker 3: you know, and it was funny because we go to
Speaker 3: this bear Max track quite a lot, and I'd wait
Speaker 3: till all the parents had left, and then I'd rag
Speaker 3: one of their bikes and race them so you can
Speaker 3: get the highest of the jump. So that was kind
Speaker 3: of who we were. We was incredibly active. And it's
Speaker 3: funny because cam my husband, his photographer, and ever since
Speaker 3: we were young, we've loved traveling and so we wanted
Speaker 3: to instill our love of travel in the kids. And
Speaker 3: so it's kind of frustrating because initially we actually wanted
Speaker 3: to take the kids to Ethiopia and Egypt. That was
Speaker 3: it because Kamela went to Ethiopia twenty five years ago
Speaker 3: absolutely loved it. So we're like, yeah, let's say the
Speaker 3: kids there, you know, show them how magical and how
Speaker 3: amazing the people are. And I can't remember how long beforehand,
Speaker 3: but there was a lot of unrest in Cairo, so
Speaker 3: that's why we fought no, but not risk it. We
Speaker 3: don't want to, you know, get injured or hurt in Cairo.
Speaker 3: So that's why we decided to take them to Thailand.
Speaker 3: So that was in twenty.
Speaker 2: Thirteen, and you tip up there. You're all excited, the
Speaker 2: kids are excited. What happened when you When you got
Speaker 2: to Thailand, we flew to.
Speaker 3: Pricket, and to be honest, we actually didn't like Pricket.
Speaker 3: It was too and it was just not our thing.
Speaker 3: So we started to head north. So we went. We
Speaker 3: ended up about halfway between Puquet and Bangkok, and we
Speaker 3: found this really cool hotel on the beach in the
Speaker 3: middle of nowhere. So we spent one night there. And
Speaker 3: then on our second day, we'd been swimming and we'd
Speaker 3: actually planned to hire bikes and ride up to a
Speaker 3: fishing village which was about two kilometers away, and so beforehand,
Speaker 3: one of the kids we'd had breakfast, and then the
Speaker 3: boys got a juice and one of the kids saw
Speaker 3: like a staircase going up onto this big flat rooftop,
Speaker 3: and so we three year we just go up there
Speaker 3: and check out the view, drink our juices before we
Speaker 3: go riding. And so yeah, we went up the stairs
Speaker 3: and I actually don't have any memory of even going
Speaker 3: up the stairs. And apparently I leaned on the railing
Speaker 3: and it had dry rot, but I didn't realize, so
Speaker 3: I leant for it obviously backwards and fell six meters
Speaker 3: and yeah, broke my back and sustained numerous other injuries.
Speaker 3: That was our fourth day of our holiday.
Speaker 2: Fourth day of your holiday. Everything's going well. The kids
Speaker 2: are loving it. You're loving it. The children are up there.
Speaker 2: Is that correct? So the children do they do? They
Speaker 2: witness you for six meters onto the ground.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they saw, well, a couple of them just saw
Speaker 3: my feet go over and then they heard the crashing kids.
Speaker 3: It was like a metal railing and then so yeah,
Speaker 3: they all ran down and yeah, it was horrific. I mean,
Speaker 3: I obviously knocked myself out. I freshened my skull, so
Speaker 3: I was like bleeding from my head and oh, I'd
Speaker 3: bit through my tongue so there was blood coming out
Speaker 3: of my mouth. Yeah. Yeah, I was just lying there
Speaker 3: unconscious and gurgling because I had a lot of internal
Speaker 3: bleeding in my lungs and stuff just from the force
Speaker 3: of falling. So yeah, it was horrible because you know,
Speaker 3: it's pretty horrific to like run down the stairs and
Speaker 3: then see your mom like lying unconscious.
Speaker 2: Bleeding, especially when you're going from one extreme to the other.
Speaker 2: You know, you're havingough time of your life and you
Speaker 2: and then that literally gets flipped upside down from having
Speaker 2: you know, all smiles, laughing and loving life to life's
Speaker 2: going to change from this moment onwards.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it split second everything changed. Yeah, So no,
Speaker 3: it was terrible. So then Cam rolled me over because
Speaker 3: I landed on my back and that's how I hit
Speaker 3: my head as well. And then he rolled me over
Speaker 3: and he saw this massive lump on my back and
Speaker 3: he started yelling for an ambulance. And yeah, it was horrible.
Speaker 3: I mean I don't remember it, but it was massive.
Speaker 3: You know, it would have been horrific for the kids
Speaker 3: and Cam absolutely.
Speaker 2: What was your if you don't mind talking about, what's
Speaker 2: your first memory of realizing that you'd been in an accident?
Speaker 3: Yeah, now, my first memory was probably two days after,
Speaker 3: and my mum and my sister had come to Thailand
Speaker 3: to see me, and so at first after the accident,
Speaker 3: I was taken just to a little reach a hospital
Speaker 3: and they were trying to stitch up my head and
Speaker 3: X ray me and they're kind of like, yeah, it's
Speaker 3: not looking good, and so they put us all in
Speaker 3: the ambulance and drove us another three hours up to
Speaker 3: a private hospital.
Speaker 2: And you can't remember any of this man.
Speaker 3: I don't remember it, no, not one, but I know
Speaker 3: well I was conscious. Apparently I was saying to Cam,
Speaker 3: I can't feel my legs, but I don't remember that.
Speaker 3: And so, yeah, it would have been a couple of
Speaker 3: days after the accident and I woke up. I remember
Speaker 3: seeing my mom and sister there and I'm like, what
Speaker 3: are you guys doing here? And then I remember saying
Speaker 3: to Mom, I want to get up. I want to
Speaker 3: get up because I was strapped to a spider board
Speaker 3: and I must have had this strap over my chest
Speaker 3: and I remember saying to Mom, you know it's hurting
Speaker 3: my boobs. It's hurting my boobs. I want to get up.
Speaker 3: So then that's all I remember then. And it's funny
Speaker 3: because my second memory, I was in theater, but I
Speaker 3: didn't know I was in theater. I had no idea
Speaker 3: what was going on. And I remember them pulling up
Speaker 3: my T shirts. I had this aqua T shirt, was
Speaker 3: quite a bright T shirt on and I remember them
Speaker 3: pulling it up and then cut it off, and then
Speaker 3: I stuck like a central line was something in my
Speaker 3: neck and that really hurt, and I remember just gripping
Speaker 3: onto the sheet and then you just see the mask
Speaker 3: come down, and yeah, that's my next memory. But I
Speaker 3: had no idea what was going on.
Speaker 2: When did the reality of what the hell is going on?
Speaker 2: When did that kick in? And did you freak out?
Speaker 2: And what was what was going on? No?
Speaker 3: Actually, you know, that's the weirdest thing. I don't actually
Speaker 3: think I realized that I couldn't walk, mate, not so
Speaker 3: I got home from Thailand.
Speaker 2: So they didn't tell you that you were paralyzed.
Speaker 3: No, Well, initially my main focus was actually on my
Speaker 3: head because I had like subdural extra papotomers, so I
Speaker 3: liked the most insane headaches and that was kind of
Speaker 3: all I could think about. And to be honest, I
Speaker 3: remember that the nurses would often come in and just
Speaker 3: inject i don't know, some sort of painkiller, and I
Speaker 3: was pretty out of it a lot of the time.
Speaker 3: And I remember my best friend she also flew out
Speaker 3: to Thailand, and yeah, I remember seeing her and bursting
Speaker 3: into tears. But then oh, it was just so it's
Speaker 3: so incredible, like how your your brain can just like
Speaker 3: just erase. Yeah, yeah, it's incredible.
Speaker 2: Yes, phenomenal, isn't it? But when when did the news
Speaker 2: hit and how long were you in Thailand for before
Speaker 2: you got flown home?
Speaker 3: Well, I was in Thailand for about three weeks.
Speaker 2: You in Thailand for three weeks and no one told
Speaker 2: you that you were paralyzed.
Speaker 3: Wow, I know, I know, and it sounds really weird,
Speaker 3: like thinking back, like how did I not realize? I
Speaker 3: do remember. So I was in in this big hospital
Speaker 3: where they operated on me. They flew am or they drove.
Speaker 3: I don't know how he got down there, A neurosurgent
Speaker 3: from Bangkok. They got they they took they brought him
Speaker 3: down to this town called Wahin, which is where I
Speaker 3: was operated on. So I was there for ten days
Speaker 3: and then once I was stable en off, they took
Speaker 3: me in Nablus after Bangkok. But I don't know. I
Speaker 3: figured something must have been pretty wrong, because I do
Speaker 3: remember when I was in Bangkok. I remember saying to camera,
Speaker 3: I wish I'd died. So I kind of figured something
Speaker 3: wasn't right.
Speaker 2: And do you remember being in that headspace?
Speaker 3: Sam?
Speaker 2: Do you remember being in this sort of negative headspace?
Speaker 2: I I wish I'd died. I don't want to be here.
Speaker 2: Did you want to die? Did you think the best
Speaker 2: way for me? Yeah you did. Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would rather have been dead, Yeah, because I
Speaker 3: was just lying there. And yeah, it's funny because I'm
Speaker 3: pretty sure the doctors in Bangkok told camera I wouldn't
Speaker 3: be able to walk again, but no one told me,
Speaker 3: and so I guess in my mind, in a weird way,
Speaker 3: I was probably thinking, that's fine, I'll get flying back
Speaker 3: to Australia and I'll be fine. I'll stay in hospital
Speaker 3: for a little bit and then i'll go home and
Speaker 3: I'll be me again. So once I was stable enough,
Speaker 3: I remember when I was in Bangkok that I was
Speaker 3: trying to sit me up to make sure I wasn't
Speaker 3: going to pass out on the plane coming back. And
Speaker 3: then once once I didn't pass out, yeah, they they
Speaker 3: organized an Australian doctor and a ty nurse to fly
Speaker 3: me back home. So yeah, it was just bizarre. So
Speaker 3: I didn't actually find out I would then walk again
Speaker 3: until I got back to Sydney. And then I was
Speaker 3: met by some ambulance officers at the airport and taken
Speaker 3: to a Ronald Shore Hospital, which is a major teaching
Speaker 3: hospital in Sydney, and yeah, take into the spining unit.
Speaker 3: And then the next day I went down for an MRI,
Speaker 3: and yeah, I just I was so scared. I'd never
Speaker 3: had an amma rye before, and I don't know if
Speaker 3: you've ever had mine, but they're horrible. And I just
Speaker 3: remember lying there and they give you that little button,
Speaker 3: you know, in case you want to get out or whatever,
Speaker 3: and I just meant within in my head and I
Speaker 3: had my eyes closed because I was just I was terrified.
Speaker 3: Don't press the button, don't press the button. Yep, just
Speaker 3: get through this so you don't have to do it again.
Speaker 3: And so I had the MRI and then went back
Speaker 3: up to the room and luckily my mom was there,
Speaker 3: and then this young doctor just came in and he's like, oh,
Speaker 3: I've looked at you, Mr. I'm like, you know, yes,
Speaker 3: And in the schain he said, like on a scale
Speaker 3: and moderate say severe. Your injuries are definitely severe. And
Speaker 3: I asked him will I ever walk again? He was
Speaker 3: so blunt. He just goes no. And I just remember
Speaker 3: I was just lying there and I pulled a shot
Speaker 3: over my head and I burst into tears and that
Speaker 3: was it. But he could have just given me even
Speaker 3: like a little glimmer. I mean, obviously had to tell
Speaker 3: the truth. You know, yeah, i'd like really badly damaged
Speaker 3: my spinal cord, but if it's just given me a
Speaker 3: tiny bit of.
Speaker 2: Hope when he said that, when he just Las said,
Speaker 2: you know, of course I'm never going to walk again.
Speaker 2: What was your initial thought process?
Speaker 3: I used to say with this Sam died in Thailand
Speaker 3: and dish Shell came back because it was kind of
Speaker 3: like I've lost my identity, you know before like before
Speaker 3: the accident, I'd always go mountain biking and surfing and
Speaker 3: riding skateboards and running, going to gym. That was who
Speaker 3: I was, you know, that was kind of and I'm
Speaker 3: playing soccer. Yeah, to strike it on a soccer beach,
Speaker 3: that was me. Yeah. And then to like lose lose.
Speaker 2: The worst outcome, like you said, apart from dead.
Speaker 3: As my greatest fear, the greatest fear was to lose
Speaker 3: my mobility. And yeah, so yeah, I was just like, well,
Speaker 3: that's my life over.
Speaker 2: How did you get through it? And who did you
Speaker 2: use around you to help you to where you are now?
Speaker 3: Well, I didn't have a choice, you know, to be honest, though,
Speaker 3: if I didn't, if I didn't have the kids, yep,
Speaker 3: I don't reckon I'd be here.
Speaker 2: Wow, honestly, And were you going through that on a
Speaker 2: daily basis? Oh?
Speaker 3: Mate, yeah, yeah, especially when I actually came home from hospital.
Speaker 3: It was even worse. It that I just felt like
Speaker 3: thought about that all the time, but I would never
Speaker 3: do it because I had the kids and Cam and
Speaker 3: I didn't want to put them through even more stress
Speaker 3: and more horror. So in my head I was kind
Speaker 3: of like, will you have to, yeah, just be there
Speaker 3: for the kids, And yeah, it was so hard. I remember,
Speaker 3: like kiss, I used to say, in a pressure injury
Speaker 3: because when I was in Thailand and they left me
Speaker 3: on a spinal board for three days, so I had
Speaker 3: this massive, like this five by six centimeter hole in
Speaker 3: my sacrum which was necrotic like it was disgusting. So
Speaker 3: I was essentially on my side. Every two hours, they'd
Speaker 3: come and flip me from my left to the right
Speaker 3: to keep me off the sacrum, and I'd be going
Speaker 3: down to theater and yeah, it was just horrible. So
Speaker 3: I just, yeah, I just tried to put on a
Speaker 3: brave face for the kids. And I don't know, so.
Speaker 2: Your children, you're three boys that kept you kept you
Speaker 2: alive that yeah, got through.
Speaker 3: It, like literally, yeah, literally they have.
Speaker 2: How long did the process take from you hitting Australia
Speaker 2: to you then coming home?
Speaker 3: Talk about six months? Yeah, hospital, then rehab and yeah,
Speaker 3: then I came home. So it's funny because everyone I
Speaker 3: remember when it was my time to come home, and
Speaker 3: everyone was so excited and I was so nervous. Why
Speaker 3: because it's so easy when you're in hospital or rehab.
Speaker 3: You're not the only one you're surrounded by. Everybody else
Speaker 3: is in the same situation, so everybody gets it. And
Speaker 3: then you know, and you know you've got the nurses
Speaker 3: there if you need hand, if you need help. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I remember just coming home. That was my That was
Speaker 3: by far the hardest part.
Speaker 2: And did it help you coming home or did you
Speaker 2: steep further into your depression? Yeah?
Speaker 3: No, it made it way worse because when I came home,
Speaker 3: because I was the only one in the wheel chair
Speaker 3: and we overlooked the beach, so I used to sit
Speaker 3: here and I'd stare at my favorite surf spot and
Speaker 3: would make me so angry. And then I'd look kind
Speaker 3: of to the west and I could see the National
Speaker 3: Park where used to go mountain biking all the time,
Speaker 3: So it was kind of like everything I loved doing
Speaker 3: was right in my face, but I just couldn't touch it.
Speaker 3: So yeah, no, and you know, and there was a
Speaker 3: lot of mum guilt as well. You know, I came
Speaker 3: home and I couldn't I couldn't run around after the
Speaker 3: kids anymore. I couldn't go shopping, and I couldn't clean
Speaker 3: the house or change like stupid little things. Couldn't change
Speaker 3: the sheets, do the washing. Yeah, just things like that
Speaker 3: so damn made it's so much harder.
Speaker 2: Do you think being there and doing that over and
Speaker 2: over again, do you think that that helped you ultimately
Speaker 2: come out of this or did it just get worse
Speaker 2: and worse and worse and worse, Because I can imagine
Speaker 2: the more you sit there and you watch your favorite
Speaker 2: surfing spot, you watch the mountain biking, you go you
Speaker 2: want to be there. I want to be there. Then
Speaker 2: after time do you go, well, actually now I need
Speaker 2: to adapt, I need to or was it just getting
Speaker 2: worse and worse and worse.
Speaker 3: I'd say it was probably getting worse and worse worse. Okay,
Speaker 3: funny because when I was in rehab, there was this
Speaker 3: he was a sport recreational officer. He was amazing and
Speaker 3: he knew I liked sport and all that before my accident,
Speaker 3: so he tried so hard to find me something. He
Speaker 3: take me to wheelchair basketball too, you know, murdible, you.
Speaker 2: Know, yeah, murder Wow. I love vertibles. I love vertible.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, So he take me to all these things
Speaker 3: and I was like, yeah no, and I remember saying
Speaker 3: to him maybe I could kayak and he was amazing, so,
Speaker 3: you know, organized everything. So I came. I was home
Speaker 3: for two weeks, and then after two weeks I started
Speaker 3: kayaking and it was just one day a week and
Speaker 3: it was like fifteen minutes away, just on the lake.
Speaker 3: And that to me was awesome because I was out
Speaker 3: of the wheelchair, just surrounded by nature, back on the
Speaker 3: water again and I sort of, I mean allously, I
Speaker 3: didn't feel like my old self, but it was just
Speaker 3: had a sense of freedom.
Speaker 2: It was a little spark there, right, It is like a.
Speaker 3: Little spark, yes, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: And how how long was that after you got home
Speaker 2: that you decided to do kayaking?
Speaker 3: Two weeks after I got home from rehab. Yep, that
Speaker 3: was my first time kayaking, And yeah, it was this
Speaker 3: awesome and I was really lucky because I had the
Speaker 3: most amazing coach. She was just a volunteer and she
Speaker 3: was just she's this incredible. So we've been she's like
Speaker 3: best mates now for like eleven years.
Speaker 2: Yeah great, And how did how did your husband and
Speaker 2: your children change around you when you came home? Because
Speaker 2: I can imagine the change being quite bizarre and quite
Speaker 2: off putting and offsetting.
Speaker 3: It was a bit bizarre, and I did feel, like
Speaker 3: I said before, there was a lot of guild. But
Speaker 3: you know, the kids, the kids were just still the kids.
Speaker 3: They'd still jump off the roof and you know, do
Speaker 3: crazy things, which was unreal. I didn't want them to
Speaker 3: be frightened of anything. I wanted them to still keep
Speaker 3: living the way we would have lived, Like take risks,
Speaker 3: obviously not two bigger risks, but you know, just be
Speaker 3: a boy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, trip up and get up again, dush yourself off,
Speaker 2: and away you go.
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly. But yeah, I mean they had to grow
Speaker 3: up pretty quickly. I mean they had to walk themselves
Speaker 3: to school, and yeah, just do a lot more things
Speaker 3: on their own. I do remember one time, though, Noah,
Speaker 3: he's our metal kid, and his serfs, and I remember
Speaker 3: it was the first summer and he grabbed his surfboard
Speaker 3: because we lived like two minutes from the beach. He
Speaker 3: grabbed his board and he looked at me and he goes,
Speaker 3: I'm just going for surf And he looked at me
Speaker 3: and goes, oh, I'm so sorry. Mom. I'm like, oh
Speaker 3: my God, like, oh my dude, just go down and
Speaker 3: get like an amazing way and that will make me happy.
Speaker 3: You know. Yeah, it's like so much guilt and I'm like, no,
Speaker 3: just go and enjoy yourself.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, did that help you with your recovering the
Speaker 2: kids acting normal, going out, taking risks and not seeing
Speaker 2: a huge change in how in their demeanor and how
Speaker 2: they acted around you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, Yeah, No, they treated me. They treated me
Speaker 3: like normal. You know, they still bag me out, and
Speaker 3: you know, it was it was. They were very amazing.
Speaker 3: Kids are pretty incredible. I think they're a lot more
Speaker 3: resilient and tougher than adults.
Speaker 2: Just got a with it.
Speaker 3: I mean I remember sometimes we'd be out shopping and
Speaker 3: they had come along to help me and I'm like,
Speaker 3: are you embarrassed, Like I'm in a wheelchair now. They're like, nah,
Speaker 3: it is our mom, your mom. Yeah, yeah, you're just
Speaker 3: doing mom. So I was like, yeah, no, there, they're amazing.
Speaker 3: There was a few nights. I remember one night and
Speaker 3: that really broke my heart. It was like, I'm Ollie
Speaker 3: and here's the baby, and he's always been the baby.
Speaker 3: He's still late. He's eighteen now and I still gone
Speaker 3: Bobby and he was seven and I had been home
Speaker 3: from hospital. I can't remember, maybe a few months and
Speaker 3: he had gastro and so he was vomiting and he
Speaker 3: was yelling out to Cam and not to me, and
Speaker 3: that broke my heart because I'm like, mate, that's my job,
Speaker 3: you know, I should be the one jumping up out
Speaker 3: of bed and helping you while you're sick. And yeah,
Speaker 3: that was just things like that were really made I
Speaker 3: just remember lying in bed now I said, tears just
Speaker 3: dreaming down my cheeks, and they saying, can I hate this?
Speaker 3: I absolutely hate this. Not be enough even to help
Speaker 3: your own kids. The things like that were tricky, but
Speaker 3: on the whole man, the boys just treating me like normal,
Speaker 3: oh young when I had the accent, like only was
Speaker 3: seven now I was nine and rooms was ten. They're
Speaker 3: kind of babies.
Speaker 2: And again, like you say, they're so adaptable with that age,
Speaker 2: aren't they. They're so they're still so innocent as well.
Speaker 2: And you know, kudos to yourself for not allowing the
Speaker 2: accident that happened to you and that they witnessed sort
Speaker 2: of engulf their life of you know, oh no, don't
Speaker 2: do that. Be careful. You know, there's just like no way.
Speaker 2: And again, I suppose, like you said, that's what kept
Speaker 2: you alive as well and kept you active and got
Speaker 2: you through was was actually being there for the kids
Speaker 2: in the best way that you could be. And I
Speaker 2: suppose that is a super important way because talk about
Speaker 2: molding their mindset, molding their actions, molding who they are
Speaker 2: as young children. You know, that could have gone completely
Speaker 2: the of a way. So your job was not only
Speaker 2: dealing with yourself, but dealing with that as well in
Speaker 2: order for them to grow up and be the kids
Speaker 2: that they are now is absolutely a credit to you.
Speaker 2: So but talk to me about that moment then. So
Speaker 2: you're at home, let's bring Penguin into the equation. So
Speaker 2: I know you've covered this toy quite a lot, but
Speaker 2: just take me back to that day if you can,
Speaker 2: and just talk me through it, because I'm quite fascinated
Speaker 2: about this. What were you doing? And you know, I
Speaker 2: just imagine you going, oh, what's that.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I've been home for about three months, and
Speaker 3: so my middle son, Noah, and I went to my
Speaker 3: mom's she lives at the next beach. We just went
Speaker 3: there for lunch and I wasn't driving at the time,
Speaker 3: so Mum had to drive us home and we went
Speaker 3: to go get in her car. So it was really
Speaker 3: windy day, and then Noah just found this little baby
Speaker 3: magpie that had been blown out of her nest, and
Speaker 3: she was so tiny, she was maybe a few weeks old,
Speaker 3: and we thought if we left her there, she would
Speaker 3: have died. So, you know, we picked her up and
Speaker 3: we took her home, and Ah, Mane, she changed everything
Speaker 3: for us. I loved it. I mean, she was so
Speaker 3: she was so vulnerable, and she needed so much care,
Speaker 3: like feeding every two hours. And I think for me,
Speaker 3: just looking after penguin kind of gave me my confidence
Speaker 3: back a bit. You know. It's kind of like it
Speaker 3: wasn't as useless as I thought I was, you know,
Speaker 3: I mean I thought I was a pretty shitty mom
Speaker 3: to be honest, like not being able to race around
Speaker 3: and look after the kids like I used to. So
Speaker 3: it was just it was just great having Penguin there,
Speaker 3: and you know, as you can imagine, she was so
Speaker 3: adorable and she just bought happiness and it actually took
Speaker 3: the focus off me. You know, everyone's focus and energy
Speaker 3: went to Penguin, and I love that. You know. I
Speaker 3: didn't like all the attention, like, you know, how are you,
Speaker 3: how you feeling and all that, so they say, no way, Yeah,
Speaker 3: everything we put all our energy into Penguin was so
Speaker 3: it was just it was awesome.
Speaker 2: How did that relationship flowers show over time?
Speaker 3: Oh? I loved it. And she was this because she
Speaker 3: was on me all the time. She was like on
Speaker 3: my lap like especial when she was only little because
Speaker 3: she called fly obviously, and then then she got older
Speaker 3: she just think on my shoulder or my head.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: We spent all day every day like just together.
Speaker 2: It was just nice.
Speaker 3: I mean, animals are pretty healing and they're just nice
Speaker 3: to talk to.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 3: Man. I used to tell her. I used to tell
Speaker 3: her everything did everything that was going in my head.
Speaker 3: I would just tell Penguin and yeah, it's just lovely.
Speaker 3: Then I judge you.
Speaker 2: So why why penguin? Where did the name come from?
Speaker 3: I know it's weird isn't it. Well, when we found her,
Speaker 3: we thought she looked like a baby penguin because she'd
Speaker 3: lay the really big feet and a fluffy, great chest.
Speaker 3: I don't know, we just thought she looked like a penguin,
Speaker 3: so we called her penguin.
Speaker 2: So she wouldn't leave your side ultimately.
Speaker 3: No, No, she was with me all the time and
Speaker 3: it was just lovely. It's just lovely to have that company.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Did they give you a sense of purpose?
Speaker 3: Yes, I guess she did. Yeah, just some mean, you know,
Speaker 3: I had to look after her. The kids would be
Speaker 3: at school and then Cain would go to work, so
Speaker 3: it was just Penguin and I.
Speaker 2: Could you relate to the vulnerability of nurturing her, because
Speaker 2: if you didn't have, she wouldn't have made it. Could
Speaker 2: you relate with Penguin in that way without probably subliminally Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, definitely, because we're both had a full
Speaker 3: both ejured, we're both looking after and we're both, like
Speaker 3: you said, very vulnerable. Yeah, so yeah, no, it's yeah,
Speaker 3: it was kind of cool. So I guess we've not
Speaker 3: grew up together as such, but just got better together.
Speaker 3: Like she started to fly and I got stronger and
Speaker 3: you know, I was kayaking more and going to the
Speaker 3: gym more, and yeah, we were both kind of moving on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can see the parallels there, and that's a
Speaker 2: really really powerful story. And going back to what you said,
Speaker 2: just it just stuck in my head. The animals are healing,
Speaker 2: and I suppose you were using Penguin as a healing process.
Speaker 3: Definitely. Definitely, yeah, because a lot of people would ask me,
Speaker 3: They're like, oh, you know, do you go and see anybody,
Speaker 3: like a therapist or anything. Yeah, not because I was
Speaker 3: pretty I'm pretty stubborn. But in my mind, I mean,
Speaker 3: obviously they've worked for a lot of people. But in
Speaker 3: my mind, I'm like, well, they can't fix me because
Speaker 3: I'm bricking. So what's the point. So I guess Penguin
Speaker 3: was my therapist.
Speaker 2: Talk to me about your your your transition from from kayaking.
Speaker 2: So you take up the kayaking. You're pretty serious, right,
Speaker 2: You're starting to enter some serious competitions and you're representing
Speaker 2: the country.
Speaker 3: Represent Australia. That was really cool. Went to Italy with
Speaker 3: my coach and when I didn't do very well, but
Speaker 3: that was cool. Yes. So I was kayaking for a
Speaker 3: few years and then I missed out on the Paralympics.
Speaker 3: I remember saying to my coach Gay, going what do
Speaker 3: I do now? And then so it was about five
Speaker 3: years after my accident, and it's so funny.
Speaker 2: It was this.
Speaker 3: I got this letter of this lady and her son
Speaker 3: is actually a professional surfer, and it was just like
Speaker 3: I always say, it's like a random act of kindness.
Speaker 3: And she wrote me it's a beautiful letters saying I
Speaker 3: know you love surfing, You've grown up surfing. I think
Speaker 3: you should get back in the ocean. And I was
Speaker 3: kind okay, So yeah I did. I got a surfboard
Speaker 3: made up and and I went out and I mean,
Speaker 3: obviously it's different because I'm lying down now, but yeah,
Speaker 3: it was just great to get back out.
Speaker 2: Adaptive surf boarding. How how does that look? Are you?
Speaker 2: Are you? You are sort of in the as you
Speaker 2: would paddle out? Are you sort of in that position
Speaker 2: on your Okay?
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, Mamma told me I got like bodyboarding, yes essentially,
Speaker 3: but I write a short board like a normal shortboard.
Speaker 3: But yeah, like you said, you paddle, paddle, and then
Speaker 3: I just don't get up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, got you got so taught me back to
Speaker 2: that first moment that you got on the board. Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, the first time was so much fun. It was
Speaker 3: up on a few beaches up from where we live,
Speaker 3: and I went out with Noah, who surfs my my
Speaker 3: name middle sign, and also with Tom Carroll. He's he's
Speaker 3: in he lives near us and he's an ex world
Speaker 3: champion as well, like an able bodied world champion. So
Speaker 3: it was just so much fun. And like, I've known
Speaker 3: Tom since I was a kid, and he's like he's
Speaker 3: like a grom like a grommet, Like he gets so excited,
Speaker 3: like and he's sixty something now, he's amazing. And so yeah,
Speaker 3: I went out with Tom and Noah and Tommy was
Speaker 3: pushing me onto the waves, and yeah, it was just
Speaker 3: the best feeling. It was the best feeling being able
Speaker 3: to surf like with Noah and like the kids again,
Speaker 3: because that's how I remember before I had my accent,
Speaker 3: I was like, Yep, we'll just keep we'll always travel,
Speaker 3: we'll all surf together, and that's that is how it
Speaker 3: will grow up.
Speaker 2: Did you feel a sense of freedom again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, definitely. And it's just nice being out in
Speaker 3: the ocean, you know, just the game, surrounded by the water,
Speaker 3: because that's how I've grown up and with the kids,
Speaker 3: with the kids spending all our time at the beach.
Speaker 3: So no, that that was awesome. And so in twenty
Speaker 3: eighteen I went in my first competition and it was
Speaker 3: up the coast and it was just I was up
Speaker 3: against this other guy who, yeah, he's Barney here was
Speaker 3: a world champion and so it was this Barnie and
Speaker 3: I and yeah, and it was awesome. I got on
Speaker 3: the Australian team through that competition and yeah, and that
Speaker 3: year I went to America to compete and for Australia
Speaker 3: at the World Championships, and yeah, it was amazing. It's
Speaker 3: you feel so proud to represent your country. And we
Speaker 3: took our three kids, which was unroun and so they
Speaker 3: got to as you can imagine, I mean, it was
Speaker 3: it's a World Championships of adaptive surface. So there are
Speaker 3: people with all sorts of disabilities, you know, like mane,
Speaker 3: there's people missing limbs. Like there's this one guy who
Speaker 3: we absolutely adore. His name is Jose He's American and
Speaker 3: he was in Afghanistan and stood on ied and so
Speaker 3: he lost his legs and an arm, and you know,
Speaker 3: he he was kind of similar. After his accident, he
Speaker 3: was in that terrible headspace like I was wish he'd died,
Speaker 3: you know, kind of same same, same, same, but different.
Speaker 3: And then he discovered surfing as well, and he's just
Speaker 3: the most amazing guy. And the boys met him, fell
Speaker 3: in love with him, and it was just really great.
Speaker 3: It was great for them to sort of see that
Speaker 3: all these people have overcome the most amazing, child like
Speaker 3: huge challenges in their lives and you know, and they
Speaker 3: can still have fun and compete, and yeah, it's a
Speaker 3: really great community to be part of.
Speaker 2: I love this story because you've gone from this surfing
Speaker 2: family to get him back on a surfboard. And you're
Speaker 2: so humble, Sam, because you have one gold at the
Speaker 2: twenty eighteen, twenty and twenty and the twenty twenty three
Speaker 2: World Powered Surfing Championships. And I love it how you
Speaker 2: just brought that off. You're like, yeah, just serve people.
Speaker 2: So you went back to being a surfing champion.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's pretty cool. I think the first time
Speaker 3: I won my first Word Championships, that was with the
Speaker 3: kids there, and I was so, you know, it sounds weird,
Speaker 3: but I was kind of so proud of what like,
Speaker 3: you know, all the shit we've been through and all
Speaker 3: what the kids have had to you know, they see
Speaker 3: me at my lowest and then to sort of say, yeah,
Speaker 3: it was shitty what has happened, But you can still
Speaker 3: do amazing things. I think what I've learned, it's like,
Speaker 3: I think like sadness and grief can kind of coexist
Speaker 3: with happiness, which sounds really weird, but because I mean,
Speaker 3: I mean, deep down honestly, I'll always be kind of
Speaker 3: sad and angry, but I'm still happy, if you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, I can still have fun at and yeah,
Speaker 3: it just sounds weird.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like I suppose it's how you use
Speaker 2: that sadness and grief. But your positive purpose were your
Speaker 2: kids and now you know, just being with your children.
Speaker 2: I was competing, yeah, and now compete going back to
Speaker 2: getting on the surfboard and you know, Penguin helping you
Speaker 2: through the process a champion, and then passing on your
Speaker 2: knowledge as well and your mindset, which is so so
Speaker 2: important I think, growing growing older and white and whiser,
Speaker 2: but it's it's such an important aspect of life to
Speaker 2: be able to hand over to people, you know.
Speaker 3: It's funny because talking about changing your mindset. Yeah, So
Speaker 3: i'd been competing and I was in this category where
Speaker 3: I had assistance. They pushed me out and then pushed
Speaker 3: me onto a wave, so all I had to do
Speaker 3: was like ride the wave. And so because because I've
Speaker 3: got quite a bit of hardware like rids and screws
Speaker 3: in my back, I find I find it really hard
Speaker 3: to arch out to paddle, and so it was funny.
Speaker 3: So two years ago, I was in Hawaii competing and
Speaker 3: two days before the competition they said to me, oh, Sam,
Speaker 3: we're going to reclassify you. I was like why, and
Speaker 3: they're like, because you're looking stronger. I was like seriously,
Speaker 3: I was like, wait, nothing's changed. And then so I
Speaker 3: went in and then like no, we're gonna you're not
Speaker 3: you get no assistance now, and I was like, oh
Speaker 3: my god. Like two days before the calm, I'm like
Speaker 3: and I was just like, oh my god. And I'm
Speaker 3: going to the girls, but I can't puddle, you know.
Speaker 3: And she's like and then I'm like headspans exactly, and
Speaker 3: she's like, well, you don't have a choice. And then
Speaker 3: she's like she's like, well maybe don't you can just
Speaker 3: do it for recreation, and I'm just like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: Like in my head, I'm like, oh, embarrassing, I have
Speaker 3: to like ring sponsors and go oh sorry, like you know,
Speaker 3: I can't do it anymore. So I just figured, right,
Speaker 3: I don't have a choice. I was in Waikiki and
Speaker 3: I remember that night. I was so nervous and I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, how embarrassing if I go out there
Speaker 3: and don't catch a wave. And then the next day
Speaker 3: I just figured, we know what, Like, ever since the accident,
Speaker 3: all I've wanted to do was to surf on my own.
Speaker 3: And then I figured I'm up against the world champion
Speaker 3: anyway for America, so I've got nothing to lose and yeah,
Speaker 3: and I just thought, just go out there and do
Speaker 3: your best and have fun. And it was so funny
Speaker 3: the day of the comp like the day when I
Speaker 3: was meant to compete, I talked to this American mom
Speaker 3: and I'm going to the mom and like, Sarah, Sarah's
Speaker 3: was my competitor, and I'm like, Sarah's pretty good, isn't she.
Speaker 3: And the mom goes, oh, yeah, she's going to mop
Speaker 3: the floor with you. I'm just, oh, mate.
Speaker 2: That's all I needed thank you so much.
Speaker 3: I don't know. And so I went out there just
Speaker 3: thinking just go out there and may just catch her
Speaker 3: wave and have fun.
Speaker 2: No, you weren't. You were thinking go out there and
Speaker 2: kick her ass.
Speaker 3: I kind of nobody. Who's so funny because she's got
Speaker 3: a lot more ability than me. She's out there and
Speaker 3: she's like paddling around, paddling around, and I'm just kind
Speaker 3: of just waiting there. And yeah, it was funny. I
Speaker 3: was lucky, man. I got laid two good waves and
Speaker 3: I beat her. So that to me, I don't know
Speaker 3: who's if you change your mindset and don't look at
Speaker 3: all the negatives and just kind of flip it, then
Speaker 3: go shit, like you know, yeah, this is going to
Speaker 3: be way more challenging, but you just kind of work
Speaker 3: around it and kind of trying to have fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've certainly done that. Do you know what? You
Speaker 2: are the epitome of improvised, adapt and overcome, because you know,
Speaker 2: we talk about having to improvise and adapt, and you've
Speaker 2: certainly overcome and going and it's such a positive story.
Speaker 2: But also the story has been transformed into a major film.
Speaker 3: Oh how funny. I know. May we had no intention. Well,
Speaker 3: you know, we had no intention of starting a book,
Speaker 3: of writing a book to begin with. It just came.
Speaker 3: It just came about. It's kind of quite organic. See.
Speaker 3: That started out as a joke, like when we first
Speaker 3: found Penguin Chrise. Cam's a photographer and and Cam's taken
Speaker 3: always a million photos and the boys like, oh, dad,
Speaker 3: why don't you start an Instagram count? And so we
Speaker 3: did and we call it Penguin the Magpie. And then
Speaker 3: a journalist from Australia saw it so much of in
Speaker 3: the photos and then he wrote a story and it
Speaker 3: went a bit crazy. And then that's when publishers were
Speaker 3: calling Cam going, we want to write a we want
Speaker 3: to do a book about you guys. Yeah, and we're
Speaker 3: like what and so yeah, so that's the book came out.
Speaker 3: And then she's a producer from Australia happened to be
Speaker 3: best friends with Naomi, and so Emma gave Naomi our
Speaker 3: book and yeah, Naomi read it to her kids and
Speaker 3: just being a mum herself, it really resonated with her
Speaker 3: and she's like, I want to produce this and make
Speaker 3: it into a film and play sam I was just
Speaker 3: like what pretty crazy because it's so funny because we
Speaker 3: just asked, we're just a normal family, you know, and
Speaker 3: then yeah, having a film made about us is pretty wild.
Speaker 2: That's cool. Let's say it's not as cool as hell
Speaker 2: that is.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know who played Cam was Andrew Lincoln. Wow, he's
Speaker 3: so awesome. He's the loveliest guy ever. And he was
Speaker 3: so funny. It was so funny, mate because he was
Speaker 3: here in as in Shah and so he was so
Speaker 3: paranoid about nailing the Aussie accent and you'd have a
Speaker 3: dialect coach and yeah, but he did such a great job.
Speaker 3: So we're very lucky. I mean, Naomi, she's so lovely, souper,
Speaker 3: down to earth, just yeah, just an amazing person, and
Speaker 3: says Andy, So yeah, we're super fortunate.
Speaker 2: And I love that. Your second book, Heartache Bird Song,
Speaker 2: What was it like writing that one? You know, having
Speaker 2: that being your second book and having the mindset and
Speaker 2: the knowledge that you have now.
Speaker 3: No, it was good because essentially the first book is
Speaker 3: in Cam's voice, so that was calm, essentially telling our story.
Speaker 3: So it's mostly the first book was mostly just about
Speaker 3: Penguin and I and me kind of getting into kayaking
Speaker 3: and kind of finding that purpose. Yeah, and so the
Speaker 3: second book is kind of more about, in my perspective,
Speaker 3: might be telling my own story. Yeah, so it's talking
Speaker 3: about traveling and yeah, many cam and there is there
Speaker 3: is one story and it's kind of puts well for me.
Speaker 3: It puts everything into perspective. He was about my friend
Speaker 3: and his name was also Aunt and we met in
Speaker 3: West Africa on an overland expedition and he was you
Speaker 3: know when you meet someone and you just instantly just
Speaker 3: become really good mates. So and I was super close.
Speaker 3: And the truck was going from West Africa to East Africa,
Speaker 3: and I'd only paid for the West African bit. And
Speaker 3: then when I was in Bikina Faso, I had all
Speaker 3: my money stolen, so I couldn't keep going. So I
Speaker 3: had to fly back to London and that's cool. And
Speaker 3: so I was in London for a month and then
Speaker 3: I went to Morocco with a friend and then went
Speaker 3: back to London and I was in a hostel and
Speaker 3: I remember, you know that song by Arim Everybody Hurts yep,
Speaker 3: So that was on the video Hits or something, and
Speaker 3: I remember looking down and I saw this. There was
Speaker 3: a newspaper called TNT and the heading this heading was
Speaker 3: was man killed by grenade attack, and I'm like, what
Speaker 3: the hell? And I picked it up and I read
Speaker 3: it and it was my friend aunt and he'd been
Speaker 3: killed in your gander. So I was just like, no way.
Speaker 3: So in the book, it's sort of like obviously tells
Speaker 3: his story, but it sort of puts it into perspective
Speaker 3: because as much as I hate being paralyzed and I
Speaker 3: hate being it's like a new word chair, I am
Speaker 3: still grateful that I'm alive. And I'm sure that his
Speaker 3: family and aunt would do anything to have him alive,
Speaker 3: even if he was in a wheel chair.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's, you know, the overall factor of you know, gratitude.
Speaker 2: It's the small things in life that once you've been
Speaker 2: through you know, the meal and you've been through these experiences,
Speaker 2: these extreme experiences, you can really really you know, understand
Speaker 2: and take hold of and be grateful that that you're
Speaker 2: still here taking those breaths.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, no, it's true, I know, and I am
Speaker 3: And yeah, like I said, as much as I hate
Speaker 3: being paralyzed, I am grateful. I mean, man, we still
Speaker 3: get to live a great life, still get to travel
Speaker 3: around the world. And you know, get to see the
Speaker 3: kids growing up to young men.
Speaker 2: So those gold medals as well. Wow, I let's not
Speaker 2: forget those bad boys. Let's not forget those bad boys.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 3: I've just did three competitions this year, so yeah, right
Speaker 3: now I'm at the top. So next month, if you
Speaker 3: I'll become full time WAD.
Speaker 2: Champions, hopefully you will be listening. Positive mindset. We are
Speaker 2: the epitome of positivity. You are the epitome of positivity.
Speaker 2: Sam Bloom, Thank you ever so much. Good luck, go
Speaker 2: and get that for Thank you.
Speaker 3: Thank you mate, thank you for having me, Thanks.
Speaker 2: So much for joining me on Headgame. If you enjoyed
Speaker 2: this episode, make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss
Speaker 2: any of our incredible stories, and leave me a review
Speaker 2: wherever you're listening. I'm Aunt Middleton. Catch you again next time.