Speaker 1: I get a Champs, craig An here, Harper, Tiffany and Cook.
Speaker 1: It is the project that's you. It's Saturday afternoon. It's
Speaker 1: nine minutes past four. I've got my radio voice on
Speaker 1: for some weird reason, sitting on seventeen degrees. Now find
Speaker 1: City by the Bay, heading for a top of nineteen tomorrow,
Speaker 1: a little bit of cloud about down some early morning
Speaker 1: rain and now back to the show. Tip get I
Speaker 1: over there at typ Central.
Speaker 2: You've got quite a skill to riff like that.
Speaker 1: I know that's from twenty years and twenty years, but
Speaker 1: even when I did radio, I didn't talk like that anyway.
Speaker 2: When we were on retreat, Jem who you've had on
Speaker 2: the show, Jim Fuller who random retreat in India. He's
Speaker 2: quite musical, so he actually used to have what he
Speaker 2: has albums that he used to be in a band,
Speaker 2: So we had albums and so he had his guitar
Speaker 2: up there and he sang an eight minute song like
Speaker 2: just impromptu riffing about us. And I think that is
Speaker 2: incredibly talented to put a song together off the top
Speaker 2: of your head, and you know, it made us laugh
Speaker 2: and it rhymed and it worked, and it's I love
Speaker 2: that you can. Yes, plus your too, haven't you.
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: I do have a guitar, Allen.
Speaker 1: I can play guitar, and not brilliantly, by the way,
Speaker 1: but I've played since I was a little kid. Still
Speaker 1: got a few guitars lying around, and every now and
Speaker 1: then I drag it out of retirement and just smash
Speaker 1: my fingers for about three days and then I get
Speaker 1: almost get callouses back, and then I put it back
Speaker 1: in the cupboard.
Speaker 3: So who's really brilliant.
Speaker 1: That in the moment verbal kind of just going and
Speaker 1: going with no script and no rehearsing. Is the rap
Speaker 1: dudes who just just you know, in the middle of
Speaker 1: the beat just bang it on. Yeah, those guys are
Speaker 1: good those I don't have that. I don't have that.
Speaker 1: But to be able to do.
Speaker 2: I reckon you could, I reckon you could just give
Speaker 2: it a go. Really, I mean, you do it when
Speaker 2: you get on the podcast or if put will be
Speaker 2: to it, maybe.
Speaker 3: A little pretty well hit.
Speaker 1: I don't know that the world needs a sixty year
Speaker 1: old white guy with fucking l plates on his chest
Speaker 1: trying to just spit out a few wraps for the
Speaker 1: for the disinteresting.
Speaker 2: For the world needs.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well I'm already annoying enough. You know.
Speaker 1: I met this morning with I'll give a shout out Sharie,
Speaker 1: who used to work for me and is getting married soon. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, shout out to Marie and her future
Speaker 1: wife whose name will come to me, maybe it's Hanny. Anyway, Well,
Speaker 1: chatting and said to me something that like a lot
Speaker 1: of people, well not a lot, but maybe a few
Speaker 1: people think or want to ask me but don't. And
Speaker 1: she's like, what do you think it's like being around you?
Speaker 1: And I went, well, this is something not only have
Speaker 1: I thought about it a lot of research, but it
Speaker 1: was interesting to unpack that, you know, and then to
Speaker 1: see how that lined up with what she thought. You know,
Speaker 1: It's like, well here's what I think. Well, and I've
Speaker 1: got an unfair advantage because one, I literally researched this
Speaker 1: as my doctorate, but also I've I've had a job
Speaker 1: where I do get feedback from people officially and unofficially,
Speaker 1: and so I do have some insight. But but it is.
Speaker 3: Funny how you know somebody can listen to you.
Speaker 1: I did three gigs this week, as you know, and
Speaker 1: my Monday night mentoring group, so we could almost call
Speaker 1: that four gigs and it's you just know that, like collectively,
Speaker 1: you know, nearly two thousand people I spoke to this
Speaker 1: week live, and you just know that there are going
Speaker 1: to be people that think that was the best thing
Speaker 1: they've ever heard. Literally, a lady came up to me,
Speaker 1: a youngish lady like thirty from South Africa, said, you're
Speaker 1: the best speaker I've ever heard.
Speaker 3: You're the best speaker I've ever heard. I've heard lots.
Speaker 1: I loved it, and I'm definitely not the best speaker
Speaker 1: by the way everyone, but that was what she said,
Speaker 1: and that was lovely, And I'm sure there were people
Speaker 1: that night at the same event who walked out and
Speaker 1: went not a fan. You know, that's the thing is
Speaker 1: that you you don't know how you are for someone,
Speaker 1: and you really well, you can try to be aware
Speaker 1: and sensitive and have a have an experience and an
Speaker 1: understanding and an awareness bigger than you, you still don't
Speaker 1: know because you don't have insight into the mind of
Speaker 1: especially people you've never met. You can't even guess what
Speaker 1: they're thinking because you have no understanding of who they are.
Speaker 2: What was the feedback or how aligned were you with
Speaker 2: Shari's perception or feedback on that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, reasonably close, you know. Yeah, Like I know
Speaker 1: that some people will find me inappropriate, and I get it,
Speaker 1: you know, depending on especially people that have no story
Speaker 1: with me or no journey with me. They've never seen
Speaker 1: me speak, they've never read any of my stuff. Now
Speaker 1: and then, you know, one of my followers or listeners
Speaker 1: will just lump a bit of me onto someone who's never.
Speaker 3: Heard of me, and they don't like it.
Speaker 1: They're like this, like it's like here, watch this guy,
Speaker 1: and they're like, I fucking hate him. And I don't
Speaker 1: blame them, but you know, it's like somebody who already
Speaker 1: has got, you know, a relationship with me. They know me,
Speaker 1: they understand where I'm coming from. They know that I care,
Speaker 1: they know I'm empathetic, they know that I'm direct and
Speaker 1: blunt and I swear, but they know where it's coming from,
Speaker 1: so they're not offended. But with somebody who doesn't understand
Speaker 1: the person behind the words, or the intention behind the words,
Speaker 1: or the backstory, it can be it can be a lot,
Speaker 1: you know, and I don't you know, that doesn't surprise
Speaker 1: me at all, but it is interesting that you get
Speaker 1: everything from your inspirational to you're a dickhead.
Speaker 2: Well, I want to ask you a quote. Want to
Speaker 2: come back to a question around that for you. But
Speaker 2: first we were talking about it, maybe with the crab
Speaker 2: in the gym last week around and the two people
Speaker 2: I mentioned that my perception of them shifted, and then
Speaker 2: how much I decided to then be a fan of
Speaker 2: them and not a hater. Was Jimmy Carr for some reason.
Speaker 2: Never used to like him, just straight off the CUF
Speaker 2: for really no reason at all. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm not really fair of that guy. He kind of
Speaker 2: annoys me. Look like a mannequin, you know, just judgmental, unreasonable,
Speaker 2: like nothing behind it. And then listen. I think you
Speaker 2: might have sent a podcast that he was on, and
Speaker 2: I listened to that and I adore him because I
Speaker 2: love the person that he is beneath the comedians and
Speaker 2: now I love to scroll his comedy. And the same
Speaker 2: went for Norton by Elaine Can't stand Still. There's aspects,
Speaker 2: lots of aspects of how he presents on social media
Speaker 2: that I can't stand. But again I listened to a
Speaker 2: podcast and there's such a depth to him that I
Speaker 2: did understand and love that it changed my perception some
Speaker 2: of the social media content that he puts out to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So well, let me just say before that question, Tim's
Speaker 1: talking about a guy called Lane Norton, who is He's
Speaker 1: got a PhD. So I like, I like pointing out
Speaker 1: listeners in directions when you respect him and like him,
Speaker 1: so do I. I respect him more as a researcher
Speaker 1: and a scientist and an educator than I do as
Speaker 1: a bloke. I don't dislike him as a bloke, but
Speaker 1: he can be a bit clunky, and he's also he
Speaker 1: can come across as a bit self righteous and egotistical
Speaker 1: and also and all of that I'm okay with. What
Speaker 1: I'm not okay with is publicly just running lots of
Speaker 1: different people. You know, I get it, and I know
Speaker 1: it kind of works in terms of getting attention and
Speaker 1: subscribers and you know.
Speaker 3: But his instagram is called Biolane b io l A,
Speaker 3: Y and E.
Speaker 1: And his stuff is great, Like, if you really want
Speaker 1: a high level information, well researched, no bullshit, no fluff
Speaker 1: around nutrition, just just scroll.
Speaker 3: Through his stuff. It's it's very good. It is very good.
Speaker 3: There was one other person I was going to say
Speaker 3: it will come to me, all right, I'm ready.
Speaker 2: All right, where you're at now with your own experience
Speaker 2: and self awareness and how much you observe this what
Speaker 2: gets in the way for you at times that you
Speaker 2: recognize in the moments where maybe you're not paying attention
Speaker 2: or you're not aware of how, or you misjudge how
Speaker 2: someone interprets you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, look, maybe maybe ego, maybe emotion. You know, it's
Speaker 1: like you and I had an interesting moment today, right,
Speaker 1: and I'm going.
Speaker 3: To share because it's all good.
Speaker 2: Right, Well, everyone knows about it, so you may as well.
Speaker 1: Well, Okay, so sometimes and this wasn't a problem, but
Speaker 1: it was really interesting because I've been listening to We're
Speaker 1: All over the Shop today that fuck it, this is
Speaker 1: just you and mate chatting with a few thousand people listening.
Speaker 1: Have you heard of Terry Crews? I don't know if
Speaker 1: I've told you I'm listening to this book. So Terry
Speaker 1: Cruz is the dude that hosts America's Got Talent agt
Speaker 1: yep X NFL player Jacked like he's I think he's
Speaker 1: fifty six now, but he looks forty and he's fucking
Speaker 1: massive and jacked, and he grew up in a place
Speaker 1: called Flint, Michigan, I think it is, which was you know,
Speaker 1: he grew up in poverty or relative poverty. His dad
Speaker 1: was abusive and violent. His mum was like part of
Speaker 1: this very very culty church that he also grew up in.
Speaker 1: And he's black, and he faced a lot of discrimination,
Speaker 1: you know, men. He grew up in the sixties and seventies,
Speaker 1: and he just had a lot of a lot of challenges, right,
Speaker 1: But I've been listening and he was a self confessed
Speaker 1: pain in the US for one of a better term,
Speaker 1: like he was a chauvinist. He was he thought men
Speaker 1: were like he just grew up in this family that's
Speaker 1: where his old man was just like men of superior
Speaker 1: and then you know, he just had a whole lot
Speaker 1: of issues. But I've been listening to him, like it's
Speaker 1: I mean, it's interesting when you listen to a bio.
Speaker 1: I don't know how long it is, but I'm nearly finished.
Speaker 1: It must be nine or ten hours. When you get
Speaker 1: nine or ten hours of information about someone and you learn,
Speaker 1: Like I love really good bios because I want to
Speaker 1: listen to just their story and I find it interesting,
Speaker 1: Like Meghan Phelps Roper from you know that church one
Speaker 1: what's it called the west Westbrook Unfollow Westboro Baptist Like,
Speaker 1: if you want to listen to a fucking mind blowing
Speaker 1: bio everyone, it's called Unfollow, the book by Meghan Phelps
Speaker 1: Roper about her journey inside the Westboro Baptist Church. But anyway,
Speaker 1: I really identify with Terry Crews because you know, we're dudes,
Speaker 1: We're about the same age. He's got issues, I've got issues.
Speaker 1: And just listening to how he how he realized he
Speaker 1: was a fuck and he had to humble himself and
Speaker 1: apologize to his wife and even his kids for the
Speaker 1: way that he was a husband and a dad. And
Speaker 1: it's like he had these spiritual and or philosophical kind
Speaker 1: of revelations about and it was real. You know how
Speaker 1: when some people talk, I think I'm pretty decernd earning
Speaker 1: unless he's the best.
Speaker 3: Actor in the world. Like it's all very real.
Speaker 1: He says, every day, I apologize to my kids and
Speaker 1: my wife, but how I was in the first kind
Speaker 1: of ten to fifteen years of their marriage and all
Speaker 1: of that. But I just I really respected that, and
Speaker 1: I really, you know, so it's made me think about
Speaker 1: how I manage my emotions, how I manage myself around everyone,
Speaker 1: and even you, And so you made a minor mistake
Speaker 1: yesterday on one of the shows, like you, I did
Speaker 1: a conversation with Patrick you weren't in the show, which
Speaker 1: you normally are, and then you edited it later and
Speaker 1: it wasn't Thank god, I didn't do anything horrendous, but
Speaker 1: there was just there was a bit of what we
Speaker 1: call in the business everyone dead air where I was
Speaker 1: looking something up and I was stumbling and fucking trying
Speaker 1: to find something, as we do, and often if TIFF's
Speaker 1: not in the show, like really, we cut things out
Speaker 1: to be honest, but you know, if somebody stumbles or bumbles,
Speaker 1: they might say, oh, can I start that again? I go, sure,
Speaker 1: and go and they'll just start the sentence again, or
Speaker 1: you know, and so I will often say, TIF, can
Speaker 1: you just take that bit out? And so I was
Speaker 1: trying to find something and it took way too long.
Speaker 1: So there was some dead air about thirty seconds of
Speaker 1: not very spectacular listening. Wasn't a problem, it just wasn't
Speaker 1: very professional. And I said, TIF, can you take that out?
Speaker 1: And the world's best editor somehow missed that and left.
Speaker 3: It in and then honestly.
Speaker 1: And then I got a couple of messages going, hey,
Speaker 1: I don't think this is meant to be in and
Speaker 1: I went, and this is honest, and I told you this.
Speaker 1: Initially I was like a little bit fucked off, not
Speaker 1: like ten out of ten, but like two out of ten.
Speaker 1: And then I was more interested in that reaction, like
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, what is that about, because clearly she
Speaker 1: didn't intend to do it. Clearly if she heard that
Speaker 1: she would have, you know.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 1: And then by the time I saw you, which was
Speaker 1: a few hours later, we lifted a few weights. Like
Speaker 1: I wasn't mad, I wasn't anything. But then I was thinking,
Speaker 1: how do I bring this up with Tiff in a
Speaker 1: way where I'm coming from a place of awareness, not
Speaker 1: on any level pissed offness, And how do I share
Speaker 1: this with her in a way that it's clear that
Speaker 1: like I don't want that to happen again, but at
Speaker 1: the same time, you know, shit happens and it's.
Speaker 3: Okay, you know.
Speaker 1: And then I literally came in and said, before we train,
Speaker 1: we need to have a quick grown up, you know,
Speaker 1: big boy big girl pants talk. And then you get
Speaker 1: this look that you always get like, ah, fuck, like
Speaker 1: like principles office.
Speaker 2: It's view. I'm like going in a moment.
Speaker 1: And then I went, it's all good, but this happened,
Speaker 1: and you're like, ah, you know, and I'm like, did
Speaker 1: you listen to it? And You're like I did. I did,
Speaker 1: but I get distracted. I'm like, okay, okay, and it
Speaker 1: was all good, Like there was no angst, there was
Speaker 1: no I wasn't you know. But even with that in
Speaker 1: the old days, I didn't handle those things as well
Speaker 1: as I should because some things and one hundred percent
Speaker 1: the problem was me, Like me, I'm the.
Speaker 3: Problem and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: I've had to work on where I mean, I would
Speaker 1: never go fucking guns blazing and yell at any of
Speaker 1: my staff ever, but I know that I can be intimidating.
Speaker 1: So I'm also very aware that, well, there are two
Speaker 1: things here. One I need to tell her this right.
Speaker 1: Two it's not life and death. Three how do I
Speaker 1: do it in a way where you know, I just
Speaker 1: let her know but there's no subsequent problem?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what I think we both went okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think like what I loved is even the
Speaker 2: acknowledgment of you were like at first, I was a
Speaker 2: bit pissed off, but I'm okay now acknowledging that, like,
Speaker 2: I think that's important. I funnily enough, and I hadn't
Speaker 2: told you. But before that, as I was driving to Anymore,
Speaker 2: just before, I was following up with a friend that
Speaker 2: I hadn't heard back from a couple of times, and
Speaker 2: then I messaged him on a different platform, I'm like hey,
Speaker 2: And because I was like, well, it's not reaching back
Speaker 2: out anyway, they poured out their heart and said, you know,
Speaker 2: we'd had a conversation and something the way that I
Speaker 2: had said something in a particular conversation had upset them,
Speaker 2: and they're not in a great place mentally, and they're
Speaker 2: struggling with a whole range of things. So they just
Speaker 2: this huge message and I read it and I felt
Speaker 2: terrible because I thought, oh, they've held onto something that
Speaker 2: I've unintentionally said and they've misinterpreted in some way, or
Speaker 2: they've felt they have a feeling about it. Old me
Speaker 2: would have been like, like, I didn't say that, and
Speaker 2: I'd be a bit defensive and angry. But I was like,
Speaker 2: I took the time, which was why I was a
Speaker 2: little bit later. I took the time to draft a
Speaker 2: message and acknowledge that and tell them I love them
Speaker 2: and blah blah blah. And you might not believe this,
Speaker 2: but it's the truth anyway. So hopefully we can catch
Speaker 2: up and have a chat. And I'm happy to let's
Speaker 2: have a chat about it. And I love the fact
Speaker 2: that they could hold on and say to me how
Speaker 2: they felt. And I love the fact that I didn't
Speaker 2: have to fucking defend myself this time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, wouldn't it be great if we could all
Speaker 1: do that? And you know, when you're pissed off or
Speaker 1: when you're happy, or when you're sad, or when you're
Speaker 1: disappointed or when you're frustrated, it doesn't have to become
Speaker 1: a thing. It doesn't need to elevate, you know, it
Speaker 1: doesn't need to become a problem. And also going in
Speaker 1: like realizing that there might have been a time when
Speaker 1: you would have gone.
Speaker 3: How fucking precious is this person?
Speaker 1: You know, really come on like there were times when
Speaker 1: I've done that and I've felt that, And that's for me.
Speaker 1: An ongoing challenge is because I want to help people
Speaker 1: become resilient. And becoming resilient, you know the process is
Speaker 1: dealing with shit that isn't always fun or fair or nice,
Speaker 1: and so I get I get the emotional devastation at times,
Speaker 1: and I'm supportive, but yeah, for me, it's like, what's
Speaker 1: the line.
Speaker 3: Where I go, oh, they're there and rub your back
Speaker 3: or I.
Speaker 1: Go, come on, Bro's it's a one out of ten problem,
Speaker 1: it's not a fifteen. But then there's the other side
Speaker 1: of that, mister psychology is well, it's one out of
Speaker 1: ten through your eyes, Craig, but maybe to them it's
Speaker 1: a nine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, and so you have to respect.
Speaker 1: That that version of reality without Yeah, it's a really
Speaker 1: interesting dynamic that you know, that whole kind of It's
Speaker 1: not my job to make you feel good.
Speaker 3: For three minutes or four minutes. As a coach.
Speaker 1: It's my job to help you build resilience and awareness
Speaker 1: and you know, high performance in all situations. But there
Speaker 1: will be times when you're falling apart and I'll just
Speaker 1: give you some love and that's okay.
Speaker 2: And I think I've got such a value on speaking
Speaker 2: now and speaking like not being silent, Like I would
Speaker 2: sweep everything under the rug and just wait for any
Speaker 2: emotional angst. I'ld either depart and abandon the relationship, or
Speaker 2: just wait until I had no emotional trigger about it
Speaker 2: and pretend it never happened, neither of which were great
Speaker 2: strategies for maintaining at any level of self worth or confidence,
Speaker 2: but also good relationships.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's an ongoing I mean, one of
Speaker 1: the challenges of personal development in inverted comma is the
Speaker 1: process not the product, right. I'll say that again everyone,
Speaker 1: the process not the product, right, Real personal development, real growth,
Speaker 1: real self help. Literally it should be called helping yourself, right,
Speaker 1: because that is also what it is. But with the
Speaker 1: commercialization of everything at the moment, self help and personal
Speaker 1: growth really just fucking stuff, you know, products and programs
Speaker 1: and stuff. But I'm more interested in the journey. But
Speaker 1: part of that is I think going into every whatever
Speaker 1: like this conversation now, assuming that I will fuck something
Speaker 1: up in this conversation, assuming that I will over the
Speaker 1: course of fifty or sixty minutes, probably get at least
Speaker 1: one or two things, definitely say something that will piss
Speaker 1: off at least one human, maybe one hundred. Also knowing
Speaker 1: that in a year I might re listen to this,
Speaker 1: which I definitely won't. But in an alternate reality, go ah, fuck,
Speaker 1: I don't agree with half of that. Now, you know
Speaker 1: this this need to be right that so many of us,
Speaker 1: including myself at stages of my journey have, it's just
Speaker 1: a form of potential analysis, our paralysis where we're just
Speaker 1: keeping ourselves trapped because we're not okay with being wrong,
Speaker 1: or with being embarrassed, or with saying I don't know
Speaker 1: you know, and that you know that's the and as
Speaker 1: we were, I don't know if we're talking about this
Speaker 1: at the gym, or we're talking about or maybe I
Speaker 1: was talking to Shari.
Speaker 3: I've had a lot on today. But the idea that.
Speaker 1: You know there is no best you know, there is
Speaker 1: no best anything, like there's no best diet, there's no
Speaker 1: best job, there's no best workout, there's no best leaders
Speaker 1: of water, there's no best hours of sleep.
Speaker 3: It's like it's all dependent on the individual.
Speaker 1: So to think that you and I are going to
Speaker 1: have a conversation that thousands of people will hear and
Speaker 1: everyone's going to like it, or everyone's going to dislike it,
Speaker 1: or everyone's going to be inspired, or you know, it's
Speaker 1: of course, so you have to go.
Speaker 3: It's that's one of the questions. Shari did ask me
Speaker 3: today was.
Speaker 1: How do you go with knowing that people won't like
Speaker 1: you or people will be pissed off or offended? Or
Speaker 1: I go, well, I have to be okay with that,
Speaker 1: because that's a statistical inevitability. Let's say in a hypothetical
Speaker 1: world that doesn't exis. But let's say that you and
Speaker 1: I had a conversation and everything that I say is
Speaker 1: absolutely unequivocally true, right, and every intention and every motive
Speaker 1: I have for that hour is positive and good. Well,
Speaker 1: of course there are still going to be people who
Speaker 1: are upset or pissed off or disinterested or and that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I'm right and they're wrong. That just that's
Speaker 1: like an inevitability of the you know, the difference of humans.
Speaker 1: It's like we all just we're all just interpreting life
Speaker 1: and the world and all these inbound stimuli as we go,
Speaker 1: labeling things, giving things meaning, creating our own experiences without
Speaker 1: intending it. And in the middle of that, you're just
Speaker 1: the bloke or the girl with a podcast who just
Speaker 1: all you can control is, you know, production, conversation, words, intentions,
Speaker 1: and then get out of the way, and what will
Speaker 1: be will be.
Speaker 2: When you first you've had quite a while in working
Speaker 2: in the public eye. Now, when you first got some hard,
Speaker 2: not nice feedback around stuff like that, can you remember that?
Speaker 2: Can you remember how that felt and how you dealt
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 1: I can tell you a very funny story about exactly that.
Speaker 1: So it's twenty twenty four now, so I would say
Speaker 1: in about.
Speaker 3: Maybe twenty ten. This is one of many stories.
Speaker 1: I was working on air at se N and I
Speaker 1: was doing with Jackie Louder, good old Jackie Louder, maybe
Speaker 1: Australia's best sports site.
Speaker 3: We were doing.
Speaker 1: It was either Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve, the
Speaker 1: worst fucking time in the world to do radio because
Speaker 1: you can't get guests. Nobody's fucking listening. You know, there's
Speaker 1: seven people listening, they're all pissed. Two of them are
Speaker 1: fucking idiots. So you've got seven piss people, of which
Speaker 1: two are idiots, right, I mean, you've still actually got
Speaker 1: thousands of people listening, but it's not the normal audience.
Speaker 3: Anyway.
Speaker 1: This bloke started absolutely smashing me on the SMS machine.
Speaker 1: So you know, you have computers in front of you,
Speaker 1: and one of them is just dedicated to messages from
Speaker 1: listeners that come through on Melbourne's Homer Sports, you know,
Speaker 1: and there's a number, there's an SMS number, a mobile
Speaker 1: number they can SMS and so in real time in
Speaker 1: front of me, messages would come up in front of
Speaker 1: me on the screen, starting at about seven o'clock. I
Speaker 1: was on from six to twelve. Now, this is live
Speaker 1: commercial radio. There's no music, there's no get out of
Speaker 1: jail card. In a typical hour of radio back then,
Speaker 1: there might have been I can't exactly remember, maybe maybe
Speaker 1: twelve minutes of ads. So forty eight minutes of you
Speaker 1: live time six hours. That's a fucking huge amount. And
Speaker 1: like I said, you can't get guests because it's Christmas
Speaker 1: Eve and so on. So this bloke starts going, how
Speaker 1: the fuck did you get a job on this radio station?
Speaker 1: Like how they must be scraping the barrel, Who the
Speaker 1: fuck what.
Speaker 3: Have you done? Like you're a nobody?
Speaker 1: Like and this was at seven by the time, by
Speaker 1: the time it was like eleven thirty at night, he
Speaker 1: would have sent by then, by the way he kept listening,
Speaker 1: but he would have sent over forty completely horrible, feral, hurtful,
Speaker 1: you know, like extreme, you know.
Speaker 3: The C word, the F word.
Speaker 1: You're a f and useless. See have I hope they're
Speaker 1: you know all this right in the end, I said.
Speaker 1: I didn't say his name, but I said to him,
Speaker 1: I said, I finish. I finish at midnight. And this
Speaker 1: is when SEM was in Swan.
Speaker 3: Street, Richmond.
Speaker 1: When it's when it's it's not anymore, I said, the
Speaker 1: address is four seven three Swan Street, Richmond. I will
Speaker 1: be out the front at midnight, because we're off air
Speaker 1: at midnight. I'll be out the front at one minute
Speaker 1: two three minutes past twelve. I said, you feel free
Speaker 1: to come down now. This is on radio, right, this
Speaker 1: is you know, this is me. I wanted to punch
Speaker 1: the fuck out of him, and.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm telling on live radio.
Speaker 1: I'm telling this abusive listener to meet me outside the
Speaker 1: studio in like twenty five minutes. That's how That's how
Speaker 1: badly I coped with that.
Speaker 3: I mean, all your listeners.
Speaker 2: Right now are like, what take Harper.
Speaker 4: I know I'm not proud of it, but honestly, he
Speaker 4: was just a belligerent, offensive, like aggressive and all this
Speaker 4: you know what he'd like to.
Speaker 1: Do to me and punches, you know, I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, champ, Well, I go, sure, this
Speaker 1: where I am?
Speaker 3: This where I am, so just head on down. Of
Speaker 3: course he didn't show up.
Speaker 2: Get through that. That set is a massive achievement, like,
Speaker 2: oh but the funny just thinking of that.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and it was.
Speaker 1: And then you're on air and you're trying to be
Speaker 1: upbeat and you're trying to be you know, we had
Speaker 1: listeners call in and all of that, and you're trying
Speaker 1: to hold interesting conversations with with Jackie and you're doing
Speaker 1: you know, on radio, it's different because you're doing time
Speaker 1: checks and station IDs and you're coming in and out
Speaker 1: of breaks, and as you go into an ad, you're
Speaker 1: trying to hook the next thing because you want people
Speaker 1: to come back after the ad. So it's called a
Speaker 1: whole right, and you've gotta go after dad we're talking
Speaker 1: about you know, bah bah bah, it's fifteen minutes, half
Speaker 1: the hour at seventeen degrees. We'll be back after this.
Speaker 1: Listening to Melbourn's Homer Sport it's harps and Jackie boom
Speaker 1: out right, and then you've got about three minutes to
Speaker 1: regroup and quickly run and have a piss.
Speaker 3: You know, I'll get some caffeine it's very glamorous. Everyone's like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, radio is so glamorous. It ain't glamorous.
Speaker 2: And of course he's doing these days, I wonder what.
Speaker 1: Oh I hope he's kicked on. But you know, like, honestly,
Speaker 1: that that would not I would laugh.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: I wasn't as I think, as evolved as I am
Speaker 1: these days, and I probably had a bit more testosterone,
Speaker 1: and I was probably a little bit more fucking, a
Speaker 1: little bit more of a buff.
Speaker 2: Ed But yeah, wait out front. How long do you
Speaker 2: wait out I did.
Speaker 3: I waited out front till about twenty pounced.
Speaker 1: Well if it didn't come, which is probably good, Well,
Speaker 1: it's not, it's definitely good. It's because it's a bad idea.
Speaker 1: I'm not proud of what I just shared everyone. It's
Speaker 1: not a good thing. It definitely not one of my
Speaker 1: better moments. I definitely didn't walk my own talk. But also, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I worked in pubs from when I
Speaker 1: was nineteen till twenty three, three or four nights a week,
Speaker 1: so four years of people trying to punch me in
Speaker 1: the face for no sensible reason, you know, So like
Speaker 1: I was not I didn't love violence. I definitely of
Speaker 1: course didn't love violence or aggression or but I was
Speaker 1: kind of used to it, like it wasn't I didn't
Speaker 1: want it, but it didn't terrify me, you know. And
Speaker 1: then and then working in gyms, and you know, it's
Speaker 1: like I had my joint on the Highway festival Hall
Speaker 1: boxing ring, and I worked with boxes and grapplers and
Speaker 1: wrestlers and jiu jitsu dudes, and yeah, so I was
Speaker 1: all around, always around people scrapping and you know, big
Speaker 1: egos and testosterone, and so it wasn't like it was
Speaker 1: a foreign thing.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: I wasn't an accountant who had never been in a
Speaker 1: scrap Shout out to the accountants, you know. So I
Speaker 1: didn't want it, but yeah, but again not proud of that.
Speaker 1: My ambition for the rest of my life is never
Speaker 1: to get another altercation, very happily, very happily.
Speaker 3: But have you ever had.
Speaker 1: A fight other than out, other than in the ring, Like,
Speaker 1: have you ever got into any pushing and shoving with
Speaker 1: a girl or alive?
Speaker 2: Well, anyone had a good story, a good story. I
Speaker 2: can't believe you're going to make me tell this. I
Speaker 2: might have thrown, I might have thrown. This was just
Speaker 2: before I was a boxer too. I might have thrown
Speaker 2: a punch at a lady she was, she's.
Speaker 3: Any cook. It is my tippany cook.
Speaker 2: She was my dad's in inverted comma's friend, and she
Speaker 2: wasn't a good sort. So I might have got upset
Speaker 2: in the moment, and I might have executed some moves.
Speaker 3: Did you connect? Yeah, oh look at you. I couldn't
Speaker 3: be proud of.
Speaker 2: No, well, I actually wasn't. I shocked myself because I
Speaker 2: didn't think, because I wouldn't do confrontation or conflict or anything.
Speaker 2: And she just pushed my buttons and and and so
Speaker 2: I struck out and wow, she she was on the ground.
Speaker 2: Ah wow, that's that's all I remember thinking, is well,
Speaker 2: I'm going to go to jail now. I was so frightened.
Speaker 2: But then I gave her marching. We were in tazzy,
Speaker 2: she was, she was on a holiday, and she just
Speaker 2: was proving not to be a good person. And I
Speaker 2: was getting with the upset. She was taking advantage of
Speaker 2: my good hearted father, and I got mad about it
Speaker 2: and I said, and then I'm the next day, I said,
Speaker 2: you can you can go to Sydney now, if you've
Speaker 2: got friends in Sydney. You're not welcome here anymore. And
Speaker 2: I thought that my dad might never speak to me again.
Speaker 2: I thought that my dad's my best friend. And he
Speaker 2: had to go back to Melbourne before I did, and
Speaker 2: I was still in tazzy. This was over Christmas New Years,
Speaker 2: very long time ago, obviously, and he rang me when
Speaker 2: we got back and he said, I just want to
Speaker 2: say thanks, and that was amazing.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, Okay, how many we don't It doesn't sound
Speaker 1: like it this conversation everyone, but we neither of us
Speaker 1: recommend violence unless it's controlled and in a boxing ring
Speaker 1: with a referee. So if there are any kids listening,
Speaker 1: which there definitely aren't, but you know, just give someone
Speaker 1: a hug. Well, actually, no, don't because sometimes that's a
Speaker 1: bad idea too. How long ago was this?
Speaker 2: This would have been two thousand and eight or nine.
Speaker 3: Maybe, so fifteen or sixteen years ago.
Speaker 2: Yep, before I was boxing. I didn't start boxing twenty twelve,
Speaker 2: so it was before boxing, So I reckon two thousand
Speaker 2: maybe ten.
Speaker 3: Wow. Wow, it's when you think my dad, I'm like.
Speaker 2: A little pitbull. You do not do not do anything
Speaker 2: to my dad because I have got his back.
Speaker 3: Man, I'm with you. I'm like that with mum.
Speaker 1: The dude who grabbed my mum in the city on
Speaker 1: the arm, that didn't end well for him. The guy
Speaker 1: that wanted the guy that probably wasn't in the best shape,
Speaker 1: let's be honest, but just approached my mum and grabbed
Speaker 1: mum on the arm and wanted money. That didn't end
Speaker 1: well for him. Let's say he didn't get any money,
Speaker 1: but he did get present from Harps. It wasn't in
Speaker 1: the formative when.
Speaker 3: Years ago, fifteen, years ago.
Speaker 1: Ten twelve, Yeah, but did say, well, Mum would just
Speaker 1: stood there in shock, and so did dad. Yeah, but anyway,
Speaker 1: he ended up alright. He didn't get particularly hurt. I
Speaker 1: think nothing. Long term, he won't be doing that again. Oh,
Speaker 1: listen to us, we sound very aggressive. But can I
Speaker 1: say he literally grabbed my mum physically to like accosting her,
Speaker 1: and I was about a meter away looking in the
Speaker 1: other direction, turn around, saw him.
Speaker 3: My dad was in between mum and me. I literally
Speaker 3: pushed him backwards and grabbed old mate and just just.
Speaker 1: Moved him away gently from my mother. I just gently
Speaker 1: just moved him off to the.
Speaker 2: Side, gently negotiated.
Speaker 1: I just I just relocated him a little bit, just
Speaker 1: for the benefit of everyone.
Speaker 3: I went, I think you might be better off over here, Champ.
Speaker 1: That's enough for that. I will tell one more quick
Speaker 1: story about this shit. Is the first night I ever worked. Well,
Speaker 1: that's not true, because I worked in pubs in wa
Speaker 1: when I was eighteen nineteen.
Speaker 3: I forgot about that.
Speaker 1: But my first night in Melbourne, I worked at I
Speaker 1: won't say where it was called, because I might get in,
Speaker 1: I might get in trouble, I don't know. But anyway,
Speaker 1: a very well known pub not that far from where.
Speaker 3: I'm at now.
Speaker 1: And the first night, in the first hour, I put
Speaker 1: out a bloke who was being very troublesome. Let's say
Speaker 1: that it was about I don't know, ten thirty. He
Speaker 1: was either drunk or high or both. Very problematic he
Speaker 1: was being, and I was quite big and quite strong,
Speaker 1: so I controlled him and walked him out, and I
Speaker 1: walked him through the kind of the double doors in
Speaker 1: the boyer area and down the stairs to the car
Speaker 1: park and told him to go home and you know,
Speaker 1: don't come back in, or words to those effect. And
Speaker 1: then he turned round and I wasn't fully paying attention,
Speaker 1: my bad, and he head butted me and broke my nose.
Speaker 1: That was night one, night, one hour one and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is ok this is this is worth twelve dollars
Speaker 1: an hour, isn't it Okay? Look at me, Mum and dad,
Speaker 1: I'm killing and you thought I wouldn't amount to anything.
Speaker 3: Look at me now, look at me now?
Speaker 2: Oh character, because outside of the boxing ring, I would
Speaker 2: still flee. People often have said, oh, you'd feel safe
Speaker 2: being a boxer. I would run at conflict in the
Speaker 2: street still. And I remember being in high school and
Speaker 2: somebody was bullying me once and not really punched me,
Speaker 2: but kind of pretending to put in their fist like
Speaker 2: against my face and pushing me back into the wall. No,
Speaker 2: I chip myself. I wasn't going to do anything like
Speaker 2: you know this one time with It was just a
Speaker 2: highly charged and she was really pushing the buttons a
Speaker 2: little escapade.
Speaker 1: M Well, we're older, we're wiser, and it's a good thing.
Speaker 1: You and I both Buddhists now.
Speaker 2: So I went and sat on the mountain. So I'm different.
Speaker 3: Now you're different. You're different.
Speaker 1: Look now, it's been fun, but before we go, I
Speaker 1: just want to I just want to give a little
Speaker 1: bit of a shout out a tribute. Now, you told
Speaker 1: me some sad news today. I didn't know. It only
Speaker 1: happened yesterday. We're recording this Saturday afternoon. And as much
Speaker 1: as we know, correct me if I fuck any of
Speaker 1: this up. Kerwin Ray, who I was going to say,
Speaker 1: is but was a very well known Australian speaker, coach
Speaker 1: mentor does kind of did a lot of the stuff
Speaker 1: that I do. Essentially bigger profile than me, bigger brand
Speaker 1: than me, very well known to as far as I know,
Speaker 1: good guy, how Kerwin was on The You Project, Tiff
Speaker 1: reliably informs me episode four three seven, And yeah, he
Speaker 1: passed away yesterday and I don't know how old he was,
Speaker 1: but like a lot younger than me, like a decade
Speaker 1: younger than me or so. And that's so sad. So
Speaker 1: we want to just send our love and thoughts to
Speaker 1: his friends and family. And you know, it's not funny.
Speaker 1: It's interesting how you realize how long the show has
Speaker 1: been around now that I think that brings.
Speaker 3: To the.
Speaker 1: Total of people who have been on the show who
Speaker 1: are not with us anymore, up to six six people
Speaker 1: who have been on the U Project who are no
Speaker 1: longer with us. So you know, I don't know where
Speaker 1: he is. I don't know what happens these days. I
Speaker 1: don't know what I believe post life. But let's hope
Speaker 1: he's in a better place, and let's hope that his
Speaker 1: family and his friends are okay. And so we've had
Speaker 1: just a recap. So Nima, my friend the pharmacist who
Speaker 1: was on a bunch of times, he passed away. Simon Hammond,
Speaker 1: who was on the show at least once, maybe twice,
Speaker 1: who was a guru in marketing and branding and wrote
Speaker 1: at least one or two books. Simon passed away very recently.
Speaker 1: Dr Gladys mcgrary, who we had on I think it
Speaker 1: was about a year ago, about June twenty twenty three
Speaker 1: or something. Doctor Gladys was on at the teenage years
Speaker 1: of one hundred and two. She was and she passed
Speaker 1: away recently just before one hundred and fourth birthday. One
Speaker 1: of the one of my favorite humans that I worked
Speaker 1: with at Sin Kilda Footy Club, who was then the
Speaker 1: captain of Saint Kilda Footy Club, went on to train
Speaker 1: Richmond Football Club and had well documented issues with mental
Speaker 1: health and specifically depression and anxiety.
Speaker 3: And was on the show.
Speaker 1: Danny Frawley, who we lovingly referred to as Spud Spud
Speaker 1: passed away a couple of years ago, and then of
Speaker 1: course the very gorgeous and.
Speaker 3: Lovable and charismatic Johnny Ruffo.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's I don't know, it's just like it.
Speaker 3: I don't know why all.
Speaker 1: Of those affected me, especially Nima, because him and I
Speaker 1: were close and I had dinner with him about three
Speaker 1: or four nights before he passed away. But I think
Speaker 1: because Kerwin Kerwan and I kind of do the same job,
Speaker 1: very similar, and definitely no one or you know, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't expect you know that, And it just made me
Speaker 1: just have a moment of reflection about my own, you know, mortality,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: So I think it's it's it really highlights our mortality,
Speaker 2: and that's especially when people are around our age, like
Speaker 2: I think he was somewhere in his forties, late forties,
Speaker 2: maybe like I'm forty one, and it's just like in
Speaker 2: a moment, stuff can change, and that's terrifying.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And also I mean, I know this is an
Speaker 1: obvious thing to say, but then you go, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: like all that matters, really, all that matters is the
Speaker 1: people that you love. And all that matters is you know,
Speaker 1: and I know in the day to day nous of
Speaker 1: our you know, of course you've got to pay the
Speaker 1: bills and put petrol in the car and make you
Speaker 1: break in, vacuum the floor and change the doner cover
Speaker 1: and all that, you know, but it's like, yeah, when
Speaker 1: we when we do do a self reflection and when
Speaker 1: we do do a little bit of an audit on well,
Speaker 1: what truly really matters to me? Like beyond the self
Speaker 1: help and the rah rah and the you project, come on,
Speaker 1: you can do it right, and all of that stuff matters,
Speaker 1: but you know what matters most, you know, what matters
Speaker 1: most is that we're here and that you know, like
Speaker 1: even with my mum and dad now and they're eighty five,
Speaker 1: Like when anyone asks me what's like, what's your what's
Speaker 1: your priority right now? I go, Well, my parents they're
Speaker 1: my priority. Like everything else matters, but nothing matters more
Speaker 1: than them, you know, And so there's nothing that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't do for them, including you know, dropping this podcast
Speaker 1: in a second if that's what I needed to do,
Speaker 1: you know, or you know, like there's nothing like and
Speaker 1: you just go, well, and that's you know, and that's
Speaker 1: hopefully that's not going to be required. But you know,
Speaker 1: it's like with your dad, you know, when when something
Speaker 1: happens like a nothing like even with you and that
Speaker 1: lady because you saw her probably as some kind of
Speaker 1: threat to his whatever he's well well being or he's
Speaker 1: you know whatever, and yeah, that's that so too when
Speaker 1: like like my mum and dad have been sick of
Speaker 1: various times, you know, and lots of surgeries and lots
Speaker 1: of literally near death moments. Mum cancer three times, Dad too,
Speaker 1: heart attacks, you know, mum, you know, getting a lung removed,
Speaker 1: and it's like in you know, sitting in the waiting
Speaker 1: room in a hospital when you know your dad has
Speaker 1: a massive heart attack, gets revived twice, then has quadruple
Speaker 1: bypass and you don't know if they're going to come
Speaker 1: out and go sorry he didn't make it, or you
Speaker 1: know he's out of surgery and he's okay, you know,
Speaker 1: like you're just you're sitting there next to your tiny
Speaker 1: little mum, who's the person she loves the most in
Speaker 1: the world, is in there with his destiny in someone
Speaker 1: else's hands. Yeah, all that shit where you go oh yeah,
Speaker 1: this is this is it, this is what matters. So anyway,
Speaker 1: that was deep and philosophical, perhaps unnecessarily so. But shout
Speaker 1: out to everyone who has anything or had anything to
Speaker 1: do with Kerwin and family and friends and colleagues and
Speaker 1: people who worked with him, because I think you were
Speaker 1: telling me, or maybe it was Melissa. He had a
Speaker 1: pretty big team that worked with him, you know, and
Speaker 1: so it was a lot more than even within the
Speaker 1: context of his business and his work.
Speaker 3: I think there was There's going to be a lot
Speaker 3: of people who, for a range of reasons.
Speaker 1: Be devastated on that very somber note. We need to
Speaker 1: maybe raise the energy a little bit before we head off.
Speaker 1: Have you got it's it's nearly five o'clock. Have you
Speaker 1: got any plans for this evening?
Speaker 3: Cook? Are you going out? Have you got a date?
Speaker 2: I've got no got to be party shoes on tonight.
Speaker 2: It's one of the first days or slash nights. I
Speaker 2: did some stuff this morning, but that I don't have
Speaker 2: plans because the new tip she does things with people. Now,
Speaker 2: it's amazing.
Speaker 3: Where what why is that? Like? Why are you so social? Now?
Speaker 1: Why are you getting out so And I'm seeing lots
Speaker 1: of photos of you with lots of people. I saw
Speaker 1: a photo of you lying on the ground looking at
Speaker 1: the sky today, like snuggled up to some lady. That's fine,
Speaker 1: by the way, I'm just like, what's that about.
Speaker 2: After I boasted that and read it, I was like,
Speaker 2: that's a very deep and meaningful A lot of people
Speaker 2: are going to look at that and think that I've
Speaker 2: hooked up with a woman. That was Shannon. That that
Speaker 2: was a photo from India. That was Shannon that I
Speaker 2: traveled to India with. It's been She's been really great,
Speaker 2: you know, in a rate for a range of reasons.
Speaker 2: So I wanted to acknowledge her. But that's you know.
Speaker 2: One of the realizations when I got back was I
Speaker 2: have just I've put my blinkers on for the last
Speaker 2: few years and I've said no, and I've been busy
Speaker 2: and i haven't spent time with people, and that's a
Speaker 2: really unbalanced life. And these have been the best couple
Speaker 2: of weeks that I've had. It's good. Maybe I will
Speaker 2: reach out to someone and hang out with them tonight.
Speaker 3: Maybe you will. Maybe you will.
Speaker 1: All right, everyone appreciate you, Thanks for listening. See you
Speaker 1: next time.