1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Appod Shaped Production. 2 00:00:22,841 --> 00:00:25,841 Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad Mum? 3 00:00:26,201 --> 00:00:26,881 Speaker 1: Podcast? 4 00:00:27,521 --> 00:00:30,161 Speaker 3: Week in week out, we come through with the goods 5 00:00:30,201 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 3: and the goods though, as we know, the stages and 6 00:00:33,481 --> 00:00:37,321 Speaker 3: ages of this podcast, but also our kids keeps providing. 7 00:00:37,961 --> 00:00:40,601 Speaker 4: Most people just go like, how have you still got content? 8 00:00:40,801 --> 00:00:40,961 Speaker 1: Oh? 9 00:00:41,001 --> 00:00:44,801 Speaker 2: No, I don't think we've ever come and gone. I 10 00:00:44,801 --> 00:00:46,441 Speaker 2: don't have any ideas for today. 11 00:00:47,441 --> 00:00:50,681 Speaker 3: I know that, Like, literally this past week, there's been 12 00:00:50,681 --> 00:00:54,481 Speaker 3: two occasions, well probably more, but two that's come to mind. 13 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,361 Speaker 4: Two occasions where I've literally said out loud to someone, 14 00:00:57,481 --> 00:00:59,241 Speaker 4: oh my god, I just did this? Am I Bad mum? 15 00:00:59,361 --> 00:00:59,521 Speaker 4: Or what? 16 00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:01,721 Speaker 3: And then I have like that moment of going, oh 17 00:01:01,721 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 3: my gosh, that's one hundred percent while we grew up 18 00:01:03,961 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 3: this podcast of those moments. 19 00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:09,561 Speaker 2: Yeah, the girls sometimes say to me, oh, you just 20 00:01:09,601 --> 00:01:12,441 Speaker 2: talk shit about us on the podcast. I'm like, well, 21 00:01:12,521 --> 00:01:14,641 Speaker 2: we can't talk shit about ourselves too. 22 00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 3: Like this podcast is more about us than it is 23 00:01:18,961 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 3: about them. Like obviously they provide the content, but it's 24 00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:26,081 Speaker 3: how we react and like attempt to parent. 25 00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:29,321 Speaker 4: Yeah, because no one nails parenting. 26 00:01:29,521 --> 00:01:31,481 Speaker 1: No, and no kids spawn with a manual. 27 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:36,041 Speaker 2: No, there's guides, you feed them you know, it's a guy, 28 00:01:36,161 --> 00:01:38,041 Speaker 2: it's the right sleep situation. 29 00:01:38,241 --> 00:01:40,761 Speaker 3: You know, there's so much out there for that sort 30 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 3: of stuff. There's no book that says how to be 31 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:47,121 Speaker 3: a mom. No, you're just maternally meant to know what 32 00:01:47,161 --> 00:01:50,481 Speaker 3: you're doing until later on in life when they're big 33 00:01:50,561 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 3: enough to speak back and you know, add a little 34 00:01:53,201 --> 00:01:55,561 Speaker 3: bit more friction into the mix, and then your own 35 00:01:55,721 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 3: behaviors kick in where you're like, why am I acting 36 00:01:58,481 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 3: like that? 37 00:01:58,961 --> 00:02:01,841 Speaker 4: Like that was one hundred percent me this morning. 38 00:02:01,881 --> 00:02:06,921 Speaker 3: I just didn't understand why they were fighting like they were, 39 00:02:07,441 --> 00:02:09,441 Speaker 3: and it was just heat and it was just so 40 00:02:09,521 --> 00:02:11,881 Speaker 3: much going on, and I just looked and was like, Rachel, 41 00:02:11,921 --> 00:02:15,281 Speaker 3: why are you behaving like this? Because I had that 42 00:02:15,321 --> 00:02:18,481 Speaker 3: moment going why am I behaving like this? But I 43 00:02:18,601 --> 00:02:20,161 Speaker 3: did see it in reflection and go. 44 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,761 Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, I need to work on X y Z. 45 00:02:23,281 --> 00:02:24,881 Speaker 4: But we just keep going back people. 46 00:02:25,121 --> 00:02:26,321 Speaker 1: I know, we're just human. 47 00:02:27,361 --> 00:02:29,641 Speaker 4: We are just human. I tell my children that all 48 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,361 Speaker 4: the time. I am just a human being with feelings. 49 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,281 Speaker 4: You're same as you. 50 00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:35,121 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. 51 00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:37,281 Speaker 4: And then they look at me and I don't give 52 00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:37,681 Speaker 4: a fuck. 53 00:02:37,921 --> 00:02:42,561 Speaker 2: Yeah, And so not only is their childhood pretty challenging. 54 00:02:43,001 --> 00:02:45,441 Speaker 2: But then when they're adults, they'll then come at you 55 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,481 Speaker 2: about all the things you did badly and wrong. Yeah, 56 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:58,641 Speaker 2: it's lifelong torture. 57 00:03:00,921 --> 00:03:03,801 Speaker 4: Am I a bad mum for falling short of the 58 00:03:03,841 --> 00:03:05,601 Speaker 4: finish line? Okay? 59 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:11,041 Speaker 3: This is literally about feeling like you've got everything. I 60 00:03:11,201 --> 00:03:14,801 Speaker 3: was sort of feeling like I had everything nailed. And 61 00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:17,161 Speaker 3: when I say everything, I'm talking about all of the 62 00:03:17,201 --> 00:03:19,841 Speaker 3: things that sort of add up in your normal week 63 00:03:20,121 --> 00:03:24,361 Speaker 3: when you're parenting. Solow and the kids have got so 64 00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:27,601 Speaker 3: much on at the moment when I get cocky, and 65 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 3: when I say cocky, I'm only competing with myself. 66 00:03:30,481 --> 00:03:32,241 Speaker 4: I'm fully competing with myself. 67 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,881 Speaker 3: So like, literally in the morning, as soon as the 68 00:03:34,921 --> 00:03:37,121 Speaker 3: morning starts, I look at my calendar and I sort 69 00:03:37,161 --> 00:03:40,121 Speaker 3: of like have to work backwards in order for me 70 00:03:40,601 --> 00:03:44,361 Speaker 3: to be able to wrap up our day at about 71 00:03:44,401 --> 00:03:46,961 Speaker 3: seven point thirty pm, which would be Elsie walking off 72 00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:49,961 Speaker 3: the network cort me driving home. In order for me 73 00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:51,761 Speaker 3: to be able to do that, I need to slot 74 00:03:51,801 --> 00:03:55,761 Speaker 3: in making dinner that is easily microwaveable for Gracie when 75 00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,881 Speaker 3: she gets home at six point thirty from dance. 76 00:03:58,161 --> 00:03:59,961 Speaker 4: Yep, it's sort of like backtracking. 77 00:04:00,521 --> 00:04:03,081 Speaker 3: I was like, yes, I can do this, and so 78 00:04:03,121 --> 00:04:05,681 Speaker 3: then I'll do that, and then we got heap of weather, 79 00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:09,401 Speaker 3: so the network was canceled. I mean, I'm really sad 80 00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:12,401 Speaker 3: that I was super excited right because then I was like, Okay, 81 00:04:12,401 --> 00:04:14,961 Speaker 3: that's fine. Now I can do normal pickup for dance. 82 00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:18,481 Speaker 3: Elsie's got no netple. I also don't have to rush dinner. 83 00:04:18,721 --> 00:04:20,881 Speaker 3: But at the same time, I was sort of half prepared, 84 00:04:20,921 --> 00:04:24,001 Speaker 3: so that made me get even more cockier, and so 85 00:04:24,601 --> 00:04:25,681 Speaker 3: all going, well. 86 00:04:25,481 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 4: That was the night before. 87 00:04:26,481 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 3: Then we fast forward to this morning and I said 88 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,721 Speaker 3: to both of them, we need to be ready by 89 00:04:32,761 --> 00:04:34,601 Speaker 3: this time. How much time do you need in the 90 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:37,601 Speaker 3: morning to get ready? An hour six fifteen I'll wake 91 00:04:37,601 --> 00:04:39,321 Speaker 3: you up seven fifteen. You have to be out of 92 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:39,601 Speaker 3: the door. 93 00:04:39,841 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 4: Yeah. Done. 94 00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 3: In between six fifteen and seven fifteen, I'm thinking, like, 95 00:04:43,961 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 3: what do you want for lunches? Oh, we want the 96 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,801 Speaker 3: we want the mini pizzas for lunch. As soon as 97 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,481 Speaker 3: they ask for anything different, I'm looking at the kitchen bench, 98 00:04:51,521 --> 00:04:54,881 Speaker 3: going but I bought rolls, just a fucking roll with it. 99 00:04:55,201 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 2: You made the mistake of asking them all funny, But 100 00:04:58,201 --> 00:05:02,001 Speaker 2: this is where I got cocky, competing against myself, and 101 00:05:02,081 --> 00:05:03,961 Speaker 2: then once they asked for it, I. 102 00:05:03,921 --> 00:05:08,281 Speaker 4: Was like, fuck fucking fuck it. And then I was like, yeah, 103 00:05:08,361 --> 00:05:10,641 Speaker 4: no worries. And then I'm like looking and I was like. 104 00:05:10,921 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 3: Oh God, got me pushing it to get to this 105 00:05:13,841 --> 00:05:18,121 Speaker 3: finish line. Start whipping up these mini pizzas, putting them 106 00:05:18,121 --> 00:05:19,921 Speaker 3: in the air fray, putting them back on the bench 107 00:05:19,961 --> 00:05:21,801 Speaker 3: that they cooled down enough to put him into their 108 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 3: lunch boxes or within thirty minutes. I was like, this 109 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,881 Speaker 3: is it's extreme cooking. And as soon as Katie, as 110 00:05:29,921 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 3: soon as I go out of just a roll with 111 00:05:32,601 --> 00:05:35,721 Speaker 3: veggimi and butter, and I go into the depths where 112 00:05:35,761 --> 00:05:38,801 Speaker 3: I sort of can't swim. Cookie is not my I 113 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,321 Speaker 3: know that making a small pizza in the fray is 114 00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:44,561 Speaker 3: not hard, but it's like it's extra thought and then 115 00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:48,721 Speaker 3: there's steps and processes and like timing. Anyway, fuck it, 116 00:05:48,841 --> 00:05:53,121 Speaker 3: I got it done. That was fine, got Gracie out 117 00:05:53,121 --> 00:05:55,321 Speaker 3: the door. Now I've got my first client at eight 118 00:05:55,361 --> 00:05:57,401 Speaker 3: thirty am. So I was like, this is so good, 119 00:05:57,521 --> 00:06:01,161 Speaker 3: look at us. Go and then I get Elsie's lunchbox 120 00:06:01,201 --> 00:06:03,561 Speaker 3: finals together and put in lunch box and feel the 121 00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:05,241 Speaker 3: water bottle and put it there, and I'm like, you're 122 00:06:05,241 --> 00:06:07,441 Speaker 3: getting out the door in like two minutes. 123 00:06:07,561 --> 00:06:09,601 Speaker 4: And then as I'm saying that, my client for. 124 00:06:09,561 --> 00:06:13,761 Speaker 3: Eight thirty is walking in, Elsie sits there and it 125 00:06:13,801 --> 00:06:16,161 Speaker 3: is now eight thirty eight. Am I meant to be 126 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 3: walking out the door into the gym? And she looks 127 00:06:19,361 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 3: at me so quietly, Katie, and so calmly. She goes, 128 00:06:23,161 --> 00:06:25,841 Speaker 3: but Mom, She's like, when am I going to get 129 00:06:25,841 --> 00:06:29,201 Speaker 3: my breakfast? 130 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:31,081 Speaker 1: Oh? 131 00:06:31,241 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 4: Nice, so calmly. Wow. 132 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,121 Speaker 2: And everything you've done the lunches, you were ahead of 133 00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:40,161 Speaker 2: the head of the guy lunches, everyone sorted, everyone's out. 134 00:06:40,481 --> 00:06:44,081 Speaker 4: My child's starving my breakfast. 135 00:06:44,561 --> 00:06:48,041 Speaker 3: She looked to me so quiet because my brain gonna 136 00:06:48,081 --> 00:06:49,561 Speaker 3: work if I haven't had breakfast. 137 00:06:49,681 --> 00:06:52,121 Speaker 1: And she was kind of blame her for not telling 138 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 1: you early. 139 00:06:52,401 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 4: Are she No, this is the worst part of it. 140 00:06:56,801 --> 00:06:57,921 Speaker 4: She genuinely was. 141 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,601 Speaker 3: Destraught, and she was like, Mum, but I asked for 142 00:06:59,681 --> 00:07:01,441 Speaker 3: my porridge at about seven. 143 00:07:01,401 --> 00:07:04,281 Speaker 4: And I went, you did, yes? 144 00:07:05,481 --> 00:07:05,801 Speaker 1: Fuck. 145 00:07:06,041 --> 00:07:08,521 Speaker 3: Then I looked at my class just two minutes just 146 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,681 Speaker 3: let me and I do walk back and it's like, 147 00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,241 Speaker 3: what a fucking ship, Mum. 148 00:07:12,401 --> 00:07:14,361 Speaker 4: Who send their kids to no No. 149 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,121 Speaker 2: I the amount of times my kids go to school 150 00:07:17,321 --> 00:07:21,041 Speaker 2: without breakfast, there's probably nine out of ten times. But 151 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:26,521 Speaker 2: she was The other thing is on the days where 152 00:07:26,561 --> 00:07:29,241 Speaker 2: back in the day, like they obviously they can do 153 00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:31,761 Speaker 2: their own breakfast, but back in the day where I 154 00:07:31,801 --> 00:07:34,321 Speaker 2: hadn't done breakfast, or we were running out of time, 155 00:07:35,281 --> 00:07:35,881 Speaker 2: I'd grab a. 156 00:07:35,921 --> 00:07:38,561 Speaker 4: Musical that's it is a car. 157 00:07:38,921 --> 00:07:40,281 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's easily bar yeah, gay. 158 00:07:40,481 --> 00:07:43,001 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not breakfast. Yes, it is not fine. 159 00:07:43,481 --> 00:07:45,521 Speaker 1: It is anything's breakfast. 160 00:07:45,601 --> 00:07:47,961 Speaker 4: I think it's like, in my head, i'd nail. 161 00:07:48,161 --> 00:07:50,441 Speaker 3: I actually I'd crossed the finish line and I was 162 00:07:50,481 --> 00:07:52,441 Speaker 3: actually fucking still bounds in front. 163 00:07:52,601 --> 00:07:55,281 Speaker 4: Right in my head, I was like, how did I 164 00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:57,481 Speaker 4: pull that up? I have no idea. You didn't. 165 00:07:57,761 --> 00:08:01,161 Speaker 3: Your child is starving, and she's just waited, and she's 166 00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:05,001 Speaker 3: waited and she's waited, and she like, she could have laughed. 167 00:08:04,681 --> 00:08:06,201 Speaker 4: She could have just gone to school. 168 00:08:06,281 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 3: She could have ignored the fact that most kids hate 169 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:11,041 Speaker 3: the whole torturess eat breakfast kind of vibe. 170 00:08:11,081 --> 00:08:13,961 Speaker 4: And she's just sitting there like, what about me? What 171 00:08:14,081 --> 00:08:14,961 Speaker 4: about my food? 172 00:08:15,081 --> 00:08:18,881 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, literally, we'll walk into the 173 00:08:18,921 --> 00:08:20,241 Speaker 3: gym and my clients. 174 00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:22,801 Speaker 4: She's got three boys, and she was still giggling, and 175 00:08:22,801 --> 00:08:24,681 Speaker 4: I was like, what is shit? Mom? 176 00:08:25,041 --> 00:08:26,521 Speaker 1: Who sends their kids? 177 00:08:26,681 --> 00:08:29,361 Speaker 3: She goes, ah, it'll give her another ten minutes before 178 00:08:29,361 --> 00:08:30,041 Speaker 3: she has to leave. 179 00:08:30,281 --> 00:08:34,041 Speaker 2: When we talk about what kids need, like what you 180 00:08:34,121 --> 00:08:36,521 Speaker 2: have to do for them, feed them, feed there. 181 00:08:39,321 --> 00:08:43,321 Speaker 3: But for me, like each parent has like a something 182 00:08:43,401 --> 00:08:45,961 Speaker 3: that will just be really passionate to them or like 183 00:08:46,321 --> 00:08:49,321 Speaker 3: really and one of my things with my girls is always. 184 00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:49,961 Speaker 4: Been eat breakfast. 185 00:08:50,201 --> 00:08:54,201 Speaker 3: Yeah, you cannot fuel your tank like any other way. 186 00:08:54,321 --> 00:08:55,561 Speaker 4: Eat breakfast, Eat breakfast. 187 00:08:55,561 --> 00:08:57,681 Speaker 1: Secrets the most important meal of the day. You know 188 00:08:57,721 --> 00:08:59,921 Speaker 1: he made that up who Kellogg's. 189 00:09:00,121 --> 00:09:03,481 Speaker 3: Of course, But at the same time it sets you 190 00:09:03,601 --> 00:09:05,521 Speaker 3: up for a day when the morning in the day. 191 00:09:05,841 --> 00:09:08,801 Speaker 4: Yeah, and then I'm the one that's like, bye, here, 192 00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:12,321 Speaker 4: have a good day. What about me? Sorry didn't feed you? 193 00:09:12,481 --> 00:09:14,961 Speaker 4: What a ship mom? What a ship mom? 194 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,481 Speaker 2: I was like, I was beating myself up. I would 195 00:09:17,681 --> 00:09:20,961 Speaker 2: holand have done the grab a snack and. 196 00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:23,561 Speaker 3: I looked around. I was like, what do you want? 197 00:09:23,601 --> 00:09:25,121 Speaker 3: I was like, what about this role. I can put 198 00:09:25,161 --> 00:09:27,041 Speaker 3: veggiemite and butter on it. It's kind of like toasts. 199 00:09:27,041 --> 00:09:28,841 Speaker 3: And she was like, I don't want that. I want porroache. 200 00:09:28,881 --> 00:09:29,481 Speaker 4: And I was like. 201 00:09:29,561 --> 00:09:31,401 Speaker 1: About a pack of the chips. 202 00:09:32,921 --> 00:09:36,281 Speaker 4: Agen igainnot I would not have lived with that. 203 00:09:36,681 --> 00:09:39,441 Speaker 3: And then, just to top it off, just before this, 204 00:09:39,561 --> 00:09:41,761 Speaker 3: I get a phone call from the school high rate. 205 00:09:41,961 --> 00:09:45,681 Speaker 4: I'm really sorry to do this. You've forgotten Elsie's swimming gear. 206 00:09:46,201 --> 00:09:49,681 Speaker 3: Oh, for the love of God, you've just put the 207 00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:50,481 Speaker 3: nail in the coffin. 208 00:09:50,681 --> 00:09:52,281 Speaker 4: I failed and didn't. 209 00:09:52,121 --> 00:09:55,561 Speaker 2: Age, like, at what stage can you go excuse me? 210 00:09:55,681 --> 00:09:56,881 Speaker 1: She forgot an. 211 00:09:58,161 --> 00:10:00,801 Speaker 4: I should have just said, not my problem. 212 00:10:00,561 --> 00:10:05,721 Speaker 1: I'm not swimming. I've got what I need to go swimming. 213 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:07,841 Speaker 4: Not my problem. 214 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,761 Speaker 3: I ain't got no swimming lessons today. 215 00:10:10,841 --> 00:10:14,841 Speaker 1: Imagine the teacher. Yeah, and it's not my problem. What 216 00:10:14,841 --> 00:10:16,601 Speaker 1: do you want me to do about it? I've got 217 00:10:16,601 --> 00:10:17,401 Speaker 1: my swimming stuff.