Speaker 1: This is the Chrissy Swan Show. Hey, we're here, We're here,
Speaker 1: We're live, we are live and alive. Just listening to
Speaker 1: that little tidbit in the news about Drake posting a
Speaker 1: cryptic message on his Instagram.
Speaker 2: I did see it, and I didn't quite understand what
Speaker 2: he was referring to or trying to imply. Hi.
Speaker 1: Look, I know it's not sweeping statements day, but the
Speaker 1: word cryptic. I'm out anything to anything that requires sort
Speaker 1: of left of hinder thinking of what that would mean.
Speaker 1: I'm out. Even my Queen and Saviors Easter eggs. I
Speaker 1: can't play that game. None of them make sense to me.
Speaker 2: We have enough going on. We don't need to be
Speaker 2: thinking outside the box for our favorite artists.
Speaker 1: Correct, that does not mean that we are not going
Speaker 1: to try and decipher this very odd message in clickbait
Speaker 1: before the end of the show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's most bizarre. And also, Drake, are you going
Speaker 2: to come back and finish those four shows?
Speaker 3: Brother?
Speaker 1: That's a no, absolutely not.
Speaker 2: Hey, after three o'clock, I'm excited for this. We're getting
Speaker 2: petty for a Bearringer on the phone, a real housewife
Speaker 2: of Melbourne.
Speaker 1: You will not believe what happened.
Speaker 2: May that show rest in peace?
Speaker 4: Man?
Speaker 2: I miss it. Next though, to do this Tuesday, Swanne
Speaker 2: and I will compare it out to do lists. It's
Speaker 2: the Cristy s One shows, the.
Speaker 1: Christy Swan shows what. I've actually got some interesting things
Speaker 1: on my to do list.
Speaker 2: Oh, I can't wait to do this Tuesday.
Speaker 1: I mean it's Tuesdays is where we compare our v
Speaker 1: IP things that we must get done. One tell Jack
Speaker 1: about my sheet society idea. Oh yeah, so here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I just it came to me on a midnight clear.
Speaker 2: Yes, where you do your best work in thinking correct.
Speaker 1: I have three kids. That's three beds. They're all different sizes.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's a task and a half. Although it could
Speaker 2: also be seen is a positive because at least you
Speaker 2: know which sheets belong to which bed.
Speaker 1: Okay I don't, okay, don't. And every time I see
Speaker 1: a sheet, because I made the era of buying white
Speaker 1: sheets always for everybody, Oh no, this wall of white sheets,
Speaker 1: and I have to go around every single one and go,
Speaker 1: oh that's a queen, that's a double. It's a nightmare.
Speaker 1: And I thought there's got to be a better way,
Speaker 1: and there is. And this is what I'm going to
Speaker 1: talk to you about, because you've got friend of sheets society,
Speaker 1: I l I am thinking of this. I give colors
Speaker 1: to the kids. Kit is green, dark green, Leo is
Speaker 1: charcoal gray black. That palette peg is white and pink.
Speaker 1: And then every sheet, every pillowcase, every dinner cover, I
Speaker 1: know just from looking who it belongs to.
Speaker 2: Yes, this is good.
Speaker 1: And then I set fire to the all those white ones.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's like a lifetime of Halloween costumes. Though
Speaker 2: very true.
Speaker 1: It is true, very ghosty. Next on my list sauce
Speaker 1: bulk sesame seeds.
Speaker 2: What a bizarre thing.
Speaker 1: I know you would think so, but you know that
Speaker 1: my middle son, Kit makes this amazing seasoning that we
Speaker 1: put on everything. It's like it's sort of like everything
Speaker 1: but the bagel, but it's better. It's the best I've
Speaker 1: ever had. And he makes it from scratch, puts it
Speaker 1: all together, toasts, Syme seeds will not give the quantities away.
Speaker 1: You can have it on sweet things, you can have
Speaker 1: it on eggs, you can have it on fish. It's
Speaker 1: just the most delicious.
Speaker 2: The kernel secret recipe correct.
Speaker 1: And he said, I think I want to go into business.
Speaker 1: And you know that that's music to my ears.
Speaker 2: Make that money sogn So of course.
Speaker 1: I need to find some bulk sesame seeds, okay, and
Speaker 1: the rest of the bits, but I'm not going to
Speaker 1: give away what they are, just in case someone's listening
Speaker 1: Slugworth is going.
Speaker 2: To steal it.
Speaker 1: The last thing is eleven to eleven thirty Meetree Stumper.
Speaker 1: I've got a floor that bounces in my house. The
Speaker 1: rest that solid one of the floors. I walk on
Speaker 1: it and it makes a terrible sound. And I was
Speaker 1: thinking the worst. I that they're gonna have to pull
Speaker 1: it out again. I'm gonna have to blow up the house.
Speaker 1: He came today and guess what he said.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna stump you stump chrissy.
Speaker 1: He said, there is nothing wrong with your stumps.
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 1: The floor has been over sanded over time because it's
Speaker 1: an ancient towelse, and so the floorboards are thin. So
Speaker 1: I just need new floorboards for once. Something isn't going
Speaker 1: to cost me a fortune. I couldn't believe it. I said, Edie,
Speaker 1: are you serious. You don't need to You don't need
Speaker 1: to charge me, you know, and I don't need to
Speaker 1: do anything. It's a miracle but they're my three.
Speaker 2: They're not bad, They're fine. They're a bit more exciting
Speaker 2: than usual. Mine are pretty dull and boring. My first
Speaker 2: one is.
Speaker 1: Post is it Freaky Friday?
Speaker 2: Oh, I'd love to hang out with Lindsay and Jamie Lee.
Speaker 1: God. I did a deep dive on Lindsay out.
Speaker 2: She looks good, unbelievable. I believe I should be studied
Speaker 2: in universities transformation her and Lara Worthington. I also like
Speaker 2: to give Lara Bingle credit for her transformation post deepop order.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to sell some clothes.
Speaker 1: Ah, how's it going? Is it a good Is it
Speaker 1: a good platform?
Speaker 2: It is, It's a fantastic platform, but it goes slow,
Speaker 2: like you won't sort of sell anything for a couple
Speaker 2: of months and then suddenly you get a bite and
Speaker 2: you start selling stuff. Bizarre. But I'll take the cash
Speaker 2: and ask mum and dad to drive wallet up. I
Speaker 2: left my wallet a mum and Dad's on the Peninsula,
Speaker 2: which is like an hour south of Melbourne. On the weekend,
Speaker 2: I need it, I go away to Sweet Tear, but
Speaker 2: I don't have time to drive down.
Speaker 1: Can't they put it in an uber?
Speaker 2: True? I didn't even thought of that.
Speaker 1: I can't believe that I thought of that Chrissy Swan show.
Speaker 1: You've seen that little bit of footage from the Grammys
Speaker 1: where Ariana Grande was talking about having a memory wiped
Speaker 1: some that was weird. Yeah, apparently it all makes sense
Speaker 1: now because today she has announced that there is going
Speaker 1: to be a deluxe edition of her Eternal Sunshine album.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's a fantastic album. It drops March twenty eight,
Speaker 2: so not long.
Speaker 1: Good girl, Arianna. Driving home yesterday, there was a breakdown
Speaker 1: in the tunnel. Breakdown, go in and give it some
Speaker 1: myth anyway, very annoying when there's a breakdown in the
Speaker 1: tunnel because you're scared that you're not going to make
Speaker 1: it out live at the end with all perfumes.
Speaker 2: Do you do that? Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: And then you're trying to talk to somebody or listen
Speaker 1: to the radio. It's trying to listen to regular Tim
Speaker 1: and Joel and it goes bong bong bong. As someone
Speaker 1: there is a breakdown. Anyway, I always like to rub
Speaker 1: an neck and see who is having the worst day
Speaker 1: of their life. As I came closer to the person
Speaker 1: that had caused the massive inconvenience and how embarrassing would
Speaker 1: it be. We came up behind a very old, very
Speaker 1: old Masada six to six red in color, rusty as hell.
Speaker 2: Sampagne that I wasn't Sam.
Speaker 1: It wasn't It wasn't Sam, and it wasn't my mum
Speaker 1: from the eighties. It was an L plate. Oh no,
Speaker 1: it was an L plateror broken down with his very
Speaker 1: irate father. Is there anything worse than being taught to
Speaker 1: drive by your dad?
Speaker 2: No, like there wor actually no, it was worse being
Speaker 2: taught to drive by my mum. Really yeah. I actually
Speaker 2: spoke about this on the Today Show a couple of
Speaker 2: weeks ago. I remember Mum. I genuinely thought she was
Speaker 2: having difficulty breathing because anytime I would do anything, she'd go,
Speaker 2: oh yeah and grab onto the handle. I was like,
Speaker 2: never again, Will I drive with you, Wendy?
Speaker 1: What do they call that? The Jesus? And because you're
Speaker 1: holding you yeah, I'm definitely going to be one of those.
Speaker 1: And that is ahead of me. And I know that
Speaker 1: if that was Leo the l Plater, he would never
Speaker 1: drive again. Sometimes a foray into a new skill is
Speaker 1: so traumatic that you never do it. Again, and Mike
Speaker 1: grand did that. She learnt to drive back in the
Speaker 1: dark ages amagend a jelopie or a hillman or something. Anyway,
Speaker 1: she drove it on her first time into a dam.
Speaker 1: She drove it into a dam, opened up, the door,
Speaker 1: swam out, the car sank, and that woman never got
Speaker 1: behind the wheel again, lived until she was eighty six
Speaker 1: and never ever drove again. She goes, never, I'm never
Speaker 1: doing that again.
Speaker 2: That sounds like a plot line off McLeod's Daughters.
Speaker 1: Much traumatic, it does, doesn't it. Well, sometimes you do
Speaker 1: have traumatic experiences, particularly driving.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thirteen twenty four to ten, did you have an
Speaker 2: incident that has made you never drive again? Have you
Speaker 2: never gotten behind the wheel again? Hey for your grandmother,
Speaker 2: like she didn't have Uber's No, that would have been
Speaker 2: really true.
Speaker 1: No, she had little boyfriends called Vic and Eddie that
Speaker 1: used to pick her up hot The Chrissy Swan Show,
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, we are talking about things that
Speaker 1: you've tried once and they're never ever done again. There
Speaker 1: was a breakdown in the tunnel. It was a learner
Speaker 1: driver and as I crawled past him, the shame emanating
Speaker 1: out of the windows. Of the beaten up Mazda six
Speaker 1: to six with the L plate on it. I thought, well,
Speaker 1: you're never gonna drive again. That's it for you, same
Speaker 1: as my grand.
Speaker 2: You said that his dad was angry, which really is
Speaker 2: a contributing factor here, because if you're already upset about
Speaker 2: what's happened and then your dad is angry, you'll never
Speaker 2: step footing a car right again.
Speaker 1: Correct for dad, the dad was giving alf from home
Speaker 1: and away vibes.
Speaker 2: Oh that's scary.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would have just got out and run through
Speaker 1: the tunnel.
Speaker 2: Hey tell us why you never drove again, and we
Speaker 2: will give you a two hundred dollars voucher for door
Speaker 2: dash teen twenty four to ten.
Speaker 1: Hello Katie Kate, Hi, how are you please tell us
Speaker 1: about your driving nightmare?
Speaker 5: I was driving with my dad when I was younger,
Speaker 5: and he used to I used to grip the steering
Speaker 5: wheel too tight and used to smack my hands.
Speaker 1: How dare.
Speaker 5: Excuse me?
Speaker 1: Do you say excuse me?
Speaker 2: That is a sault?
Speaker 5: I was just I was just too scared to driving him.
Speaker 5: I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: Why, I'm sorry, but what do you mean grip the wheel? Two?
Speaker 1: That doesn't affect.
Speaker 5: Anything really nervous, get really nervous, And I just gripped
Speaker 5: the real really tight because I just was really nervous.
Speaker 5: And he used to this mag it to relax my hands.
Speaker 1: And so how long did this put you off getting
Speaker 1: behind the wheel?
Speaker 5: Fall till in my thirties because I ended up getting
Speaker 5: a driving instructor because I couldn't rivet my.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a driving instructor is key. That is the reason
Speaker 2: I got my license, because of my great driving instructor.
Speaker 1: Well, I thought that I would, just because I've got kids, Kate,
Speaker 1: and would you believe, I know, I look so great
Speaker 1: you can't believe it, but I do.
Speaker 2: I do. I've got one.
Speaker 1: That's old enough to be about to learn to drive.
Speaker 1: And I thought, oh well, I'll just you know, it's
Speaker 1: going to be awful having your mum teach you how
Speaker 1: to drive. Al I'll get an instructor like I did,
Speaker 1: but they've got to get like two thousand hours. It
Speaker 1: costs you as much as a house deposit.
Speaker 5: I think it's changed now over twenty one. You can
Speaker 5: get you can go straight on your piece about your
Speaker 5: log book.
Speaker 1: Now, Oh okay, I'll tell him that he loves a
Speaker 1: short cut.
Speaker 2: Two hundred dollars out for door dash for you, Kate.
Speaker 2: Let's go to Zach.
Speaker 1: Zach, what happened when you were learning how to drive?
Speaker 6: Well, within the first month, I accidentally drove through the
Speaker 6: garage and hit the front of the ass.
Speaker 1: Oh God, so easy to do because when you don't know,
Speaker 1: the accelerator is so close.
Speaker 6: To the prey, it's way too close, and you know
Speaker 6: the garage just went straight through. Not ideal. Scared mum
Speaker 6: for the rest of their lives.
Speaker 2: I love your delivery sack.
Speaker 1: So what happened then?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 7: What?
Speaker 1: What? What did your mom say?
Speaker 6: Well, it was now Dad's responsibility to teach me, that's
Speaker 6: for sure.
Speaker 1: How long did you take before you had the gumption
Speaker 1: to get behind the wheel again?
Speaker 6: I was fine, I was I was straight back at it.
Speaker 6: But yeh, Mum never got in the car with me again.
Speaker 1: Can you seem like a very chill dude?
Speaker 2: I like you. Two one hundred dollars door Dash voucher
Speaker 2: for you, Zach, or we've got in a non swan.
Speaker 1: Oh hang on a minute, Anonymous, what happened when you
Speaker 1: were learning to drive that made you think I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm cut out for this?
Speaker 2: Is that for me.
Speaker 8: Yes, okay.
Speaker 4: So I have a father who is a foreigner, and
Speaker 4: he so English was not his first language. And when
Speaker 4: he was teaching me to drive, I was approaching an
Speaker 4: intersection in a backstreet, thank god. But I was approaching
Speaker 4: an intersection and he just said push, push, push, push push,
Speaker 4: And I was already on the accelerator, so I thought
Speaker 4: he was just telling me to put on the accelerator.
Speaker 4: So I went straight up a gum tree.
Speaker 7: Oh no, no, no, no.
Speaker 4: Word of a lie was the most terrifying thing of
Speaker 4: my life.
Speaker 1: Okay, So what did he mean when he said push?
Speaker 4: Obviously he was meaning to push on the break because
Speaker 4: we were approaching an intersection.
Speaker 1: But I was yeah, and did you write the car off?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he would have been Oh god, he
Speaker 1: would have been so angry.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 4: I ran home all the way home. I was terrified.
Speaker 1: The Crissy Swan show. Can I tell you that if
Speaker 1: you're at a karaoke night and you do a halfway
Speaker 1: good impersonation of Blink one eight too, that song slays
Speaker 1: because when you can go she laughed me. Roses by
Speaker 1: the Skairrs surprises that you know your gears. People just
Speaker 1: love it.
Speaker 2: I don't think anyone can do that as well as.
Speaker 1: You, And then everyone together goes, it's really good. You're
Speaker 1: listening to the Christy Swan Show on Nova and we
Speaker 1: had a very exciting announcement.
Speaker 2: We sure did.
Speaker 1: You were made to meet a way Expedia. We're made
Speaker 1: to plan where halfway is Expedia. Made to travel La
Speaker 1: Vegas Red Room Global Tour powered by Expedia.
Speaker 2: Let's go.
Speaker 1: I have got goose bumps everywhere.
Speaker 2: Have you got the get get excited?
Speaker 1: I get Tingley boots. That is the universal sign of
Speaker 1: a very good thing is happening. I mean, someone is
Speaker 1: going to win this prize.
Speaker 2: It's insane, Swanny. If you missed the massive announcement on Ricky, Lee,
Speaker 2: Tim and Joel yesterday. This is powered by Expedia. It
Speaker 2: kicks off with an exclusive Nova's Red Room event in
Speaker 2: Sydney Gracie Abrams live in Auckland, Los Angeles to see
Speaker 2: our Paldine Lewis in Nova's Red Room. Then you jump
Speaker 2: on a plane to Las Vegas to see Jelly Roll
Speaker 2: and Post Malone.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm interested in that one because finally we
Speaker 1: get to see them in the same room character the
Speaker 1: same person.
Speaker 7: Victoria, Hello, you are in the running to winness.
Speaker 1: I mean it's hard to pick, but which location or
Speaker 1: artist are you the most pumped about seeing?
Speaker 3: I look all of them, but it would have to
Speaker 3: be Posty.
Speaker 2: Yes, in vague this is well.
Speaker 4: The party city will amazing like Victoria.
Speaker 2: Make sure you tune into Ricky, Lee, Tim and Joel
Speaker 2: not just Friday, but every day, but especially Friday to
Speaker 2: see if they are calling you and if you'd like
Speaker 2: to win this incredible experience, and make sure you register.
Speaker 2: Buy the nov Player app Chrissy's Clique Fait.
Speaker 1: There's an update on Wendy Williams, our absolute favorite, a.
Speaker 2: Former American talk show host. If you're not sure who
Speaker 2: we are talking about, do you say self a favor
Speaker 2: in Google.
Speaker 1: I think she started off as a broadcast I think
Speaker 1: she had a very very big radio show.
Speaker 2: She did Swanny.
Speaker 1: But we're obsessed with her because she mastered the art
Speaker 1: of farting and burping at the same time.
Speaker 2: Should we enjoy that?
Speaker 1: Yes we should.
Speaker 2: It's a matter of time. She's not lonely good.
Speaker 1: I apologize, I apologize. You never apologize for that. You've
Speaker 1: brought a lot of joy to a lot of people.
Speaker 1: Have you ever done that if you ever mastered that
Speaker 1: double act.
Speaker 2: Can't say it's something I'm striving to do either.
Speaker 1: It's a real talent. But she's you know, she's hit
Speaker 1: hard times and we are concerned. And it's the same
Speaker 1: sort of flavor of concern that we have for Britney Spears,
Speaker 1: because Wendy Williams appears to be a prisoner under a
Speaker 1: guardianship or a conservatorship. And I was saying to you,
Speaker 1: are fair Jack. If the word conservativeship ever is written
Speaker 1: on a piece of paper with your name on it,
Speaker 1: run for the hills, right. It is not a good thing.
Speaker 2: It's not something you often hear about happening in Australia.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's very American.
Speaker 1: I agree, I agree. I don't know what the system
Speaker 1: is here.
Speaker 2: And the reason in twenty twenty two twenty that she
Speaker 2: had a court appointed legal guardian to oversee her personal
Speaker 2: and financial affairs was all to do with a bank,
Speaker 2: Wells Fargo. They noticed like weird patterns of access to
Speaker 2: her bank accounts and then they are the ones that
Speaker 2: sort of triggered this.
Speaker 1: But like lock me away, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Lock me away?
Speaker 1: I mean, like if that's all it takes. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I can't take back the purchases from Teddington's and Tea
Speaker 1: Move do you know what I mean? I just can't
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 2: So it's been a quite it's been quite a stressful
Speaker 2: three years for her.
Speaker 1: But Today's and Bets there's been a documentary. There's been
Speaker 1: footage in the last month of her banging on a
Speaker 1: closed window trying to get out, and she has been
Speaker 1: tested by a you know, proper mental health professional trying
Speaker 1: to ascertain whether or not she's lost her mind and
Speaker 1: whether she deserves to be locked away in this way.
Speaker 1: She scored a ten out of ten on a mental
Speaker 1: capacity test. She answered everything correctly.
Speaker 2: See this is this is really really great for her,
Speaker 2: but all for whoever appointed this guardian, because she clearly
Speaker 2: doesn't need it anymore.
Speaker 1: But remember she was also diagnosed with like dementia and
Speaker 1: she came out and said that that was allbs. Wow,
Speaker 1: Well the plot thickens. I'm going to be watching that
Speaker 1: very closely, but not as closely as Timothy Chalomey was
Speaker 1: watching a tennis match. It is the most hilarious report
Speaker 1: and whoever wrote it, I think is crying into their
Speaker 1: luxA tonight, have a listen to these little bits. A
Speaker 1: forensic lip reader called Jeremy Freeman has been has been
Speaker 1: hired by The Daily Mail to work out what Timothy
Speaker 1: is Chalomey and his unbelievably hot girlfriend Kylie Jenner are
Speaker 1: talking about. And this is the kind of sort of
Speaker 1: you know, intelligent, highbrow stuff that these two are talking about.
Speaker 1: First of all, Timoth is there to watch the game.
Speaker 2: Yea. Clearly you can tell he's a tennis dude.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And she asks him for a kiss and he goes,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, love. Then she gets a bit shirty
Speaker 1: and she goes, please give me some eye contact, and
Speaker 1: then Timothy says, go on, yum yep. Then when there
Speaker 1: was a bad shot on the on the court, Timothy
Speaker 1: says ow and then Kylie says to him, are you okay?
Speaker 1: Then Kylie starts to rub Timothy Charlo made stomach and smile.
Speaker 2: How it's just someone's job. Also, I believe every word
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 1: Of course it happened. Oh hey, we're still here, and
Speaker 1: so you and were thrilled about both of those facts.
Speaker 2: Indeed, we are Swanni Monday night.
Speaker 1: It's an exciting night for you, Jack because The White
Speaker 1: Lotus has been dropped, but they they're dropping it every Monday,
Speaker 1: which I really.
Speaker 2: Love sane and especially on a Monday, like it gives
Speaker 2: you something to look forward to after work.
Speaker 1: It's so great.
Speaker 2: The fourth episode aired last night, Swanye and there's something
Speaker 2: that's going sort of viral online from the from the
Speaker 2: character of I forget his name, but the actor is
Speaker 2: Jason Isaac.
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, Jason Isaac. He played Lucius Malfoy Harry unrecognizable. Well,
Speaker 1: do you want to see something else that's unrecognizable? For episode?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Jack, why didn't you do an nsf.
Speaker 2: W because only yours can see it, no one else listening.
Speaker 2: But you can imagine why.
Speaker 1: Is he looking at it like that? It's like it's
Speaker 1: a stranger to it. Where did you come from?
Speaker 2: He's shocked himself anyway, So that was a bit of
Speaker 2: fun last night for everyone.
Speaker 1: What do I feel like a like an anoch mushroom.
Speaker 2: Rosotto coming up before four o'clock. We are going to
Speaker 2: get someone on the phone, a celebrity that you had
Speaker 2: like an incident with on the road. Yes, next though,
Speaker 2: Chrissy's Quizzy.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show. It's the Chrissy Swan Show, What
Speaker 1: a thrill my favorite lyric.
Speaker 2: If you missed yesterday's show, make sure you grabbed the
Speaker 2: podcast because we were talking about our favorite lyrics.
Speaker 1: This one it's so like defeat it. We ain't getting
Speaker 1: no younger, we might as well do it.
Speaker 2: I love it so right.
Speaker 1: If you're listening to the Crissy Smod Show on No But,
Speaker 1: let's give away a bum bag Chrissies Quizzy, Hello.
Speaker 3: Leah, Hello, Hello are we.
Speaker 1: I'm so good all the better for hearing your chirpy disposition.
Speaker 1: Now you need this bum bag and you're gonna unzip
Speaker 1: it upon receipt and a fill it full of dog traits.
Speaker 8: I am so when I take my dog for a
Speaker 8: they currently.
Speaker 4: Go in my pocket quite broke. Definitely need a bum
Speaker 4: bag so I can kick them in there and don't
Speaker 4: have all the crumbs in my pocket.
Speaker 1: Lea, if you would like to make them from scratch,
Speaker 1: I recommend watching the Meghan Michael documentary on Netflix because
Speaker 1: I am.
Speaker 3: A bit of a baker, so I could give that
Speaker 3: a go.
Speaker 2: Hey, we do need to clarify yesterday apparently we had
Speaker 2: a lot of messages. Her mother does appear in the
Speaker 2: final episode.
Speaker 1: I haven't watched the whole series.
Speaker 2: No people really either love her or really dislike her.
Speaker 2: So it was really interesting seeing the feedback after we
Speaker 2: spoke about it yesterday.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I would watch? Sorry, we digress
Speaker 1: Leah and Tanya, We're going to get to you, but
Speaker 1: I would watch an eight part series with Doria and
Speaker 1: Meghan same.
Speaker 2: I love Doria.
Speaker 1: It's the best part is when she goes, my mom
Speaker 1: loves these peanut butter pretzels. I'm like, yes, Doria, Hello, Tanya.
Speaker 8: Hello, lovely people. How are you today?
Speaker 1: Just tell me what you've been up to make me
Speaker 1: feel good?
Speaker 8: Oh, I'm actually on holidays at the moment, so I'm
Speaker 8: living the life of Riley Tanya.
Speaker 2: I was about to say, you sound like a character
Speaker 2: on the White Lotus and you're literally on holiday.
Speaker 8: There you go.
Speaker 1: Why are you on holidays now?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 8: I just, you know, decided to take some time off,
Speaker 8: and so I'm just lazing about it at home, catching
Speaker 8: up on some reading. I'm lying on the lounge. I'm
Speaker 8: having a.
Speaker 2: Great time, obsessed with you.
Speaker 1: Are you wearing a caftan?
Speaker 8: Yeah no, but I am still in my pajamas.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. About three yet, Tanya, what are you
Speaker 2: currently drinking and eating? What's in front of you?
Speaker 8: Nothing at the moment. Actually, I haven't actually got off
Speaker 8: the lounge to make it myself.
Speaker 1: This is amazing, are incredible. Let's get to this quiz,
Speaker 1: all right, ladies, your names are your buzzards. The best
Speaker 1: of five, I mean, the first person to get three
Speaker 1: ounces correct gets the bum bag. I want to give
Speaker 1: them both to you. You're both amazing.
Speaker 2: It's not how it works, though, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Question number one, Tom, you never look at me so
Speaker 1: meanly than when I'm offering to give away a second
Speaker 1: bum bag.
Speaker 2: Because Tom's the one that has to order them.
Speaker 1: It hurts my feelings.
Speaker 2: He's got nothing to say.
Speaker 1: He said, I'll buy them. I'll buy them, and then
Speaker 1: I can give away as many as I like.
Speaker 2: Alrighty, let's get to the even an invoice. Now Nate's
Speaker 2: walking in. He's got some backup.
Speaker 1: Number one, Elon Musk has revealed why his platform X
Speaker 1: went down?
Speaker 2: What was it, Tana?
Speaker 1: Yes, Tanya?
Speaker 8: Was it a cyber attack?
Speaker 2: It was?
Speaker 1: Don't exert yourself too much?
Speaker 2: Do one point to Tanya?
Speaker 1: Question number two soprano, alto, tenor and BARITONEA categories of
Speaker 1: what oh line ball?
Speaker 2: Tom says Tan Tanya? Okay, sorry, Tanya?
Speaker 8: Is it singing voices? Singing voices?
Speaker 2: What do you oh?
Speaker 8: Terrible?
Speaker 1: I don't think I don't think that's a category.
Speaker 2: Great answer, Lea.
Speaker 1: Do you know what you are?
Speaker 4: Probably terrible as well?
Speaker 1: Do you know what you are?
Speaker 2: Jack terrible?
Speaker 9: What are you?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: You're a soprano, aren't you? Little Tom? Amtana, little castra?
Speaker 2: What are you? Swey Swanny? You're a good singer to.
Speaker 1: I'm an alto?
Speaker 7: Right?
Speaker 2: Okay, alrighty. Question number three currently two points to Tanya like.
Speaker 1: The big wooden recorders. You know, did anybody see White
Speaker 1: Lotus last night? Anyway?
Speaker 2: But you?
Speaker 1: Number three and twenty three years ago today, Avril Levigne
Speaker 1: released this hit Leah So Good, Leah Complicated.
Speaker 2: It is correicated, Lea. He's on the scoreboard. It's two
Speaker 2: points to Tanya, one point to Leah.
Speaker 1: Question number four, can you name the R and B
Speaker 1: star that's gone public with four polyamorous girlfriends? Four?
Speaker 2: We're going to talk about him next.
Speaker 1: Have we got a grab of the song as a
Speaker 1: little tid bit?
Speaker 2: A people are gonna have to wait. That's some radio
Speaker 2: sizzle for you. Question number five?
Speaker 1: Do I give the answer? Note, let's save it, okay,
Speaker 1: Tamworth is located in which Australian state? Yes, Tanya, so
Speaker 1: this is New South Wales. Tanya, and you have really
Speaker 1: gone against the lazy lady odds and you have won.
Speaker 1: You have got the bum bag in your possession.
Speaker 8: I prefer the term lady who lunches?
Speaker 2: Do you have any Tanya? You have the bum bag.
Speaker 2: But Leah, we're going to send you a two hundred
Speaker 2: dollars out of for door dowsh staying with you.
Speaker 8: Tay, thank you so much. That's wonderful, Thanks God.
Speaker 1: And you don't have to get off the couch for
Speaker 1: a very long time. Tanya.
Speaker 2: I love her sect I need to know exactly what
Speaker 2: she does for a job to.
Speaker 1: Imagine that the Crispy Swan Show, we can talk about Neo,
Speaker 1: which is sentence that I don't think I've ever said.
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone's ever said.
Speaker 2: It, but today we definitely do.
Speaker 1: Tell you. What I've got to give credit where credits
Speaker 1: to this song is perfection, isn't it?
Speaker 2: I love I'm When it gets slower, yeah, don't have
Speaker 2: that bit.
Speaker 1: But do you know what I mean, it's really anyway
Speaker 1: love That.
Speaker 2: It's at tracked. There's actually a few good neo hits.
Speaker 1: Play them. Let's give him some, you know credits.
Speaker 2: So sick song, yes, and then of course hate that
Speaker 2: I Love You with Rihanna.
Speaker 1: Never heard what? And then it's the same song as
Speaker 1: so sick of love songs?
Speaker 2: And then what about Pitbull? Mister world White we ago.
Speaker 1: Sorry, if it's got Pitbull on it, I'm not interested.
Speaker 2: Let's get back to Leo though, because juicy news.
Speaker 1: He has got count them, four girlfriends at the same time.
Speaker 2: He's a busy dude.
Speaker 1: There's five people in the relationship. I don't know. Look,
Speaker 1: he worked out the logistics on a podcast. This is
Speaker 1: how it works.
Speaker 2: Do y'all all go out together like all five of y'all? Yeah?
Speaker 9: Time, But I let this one come out for seven days,
Speaker 9: then she go on, Then this one come out for
Speaker 9: seven days, and then this will come out for seven
Speaker 9: days and then we do something altogether.
Speaker 2: Yeah, mind you.
Speaker 9: They all get along with each other. I have no
Speaker 9: problem hanging out with each other, but I think these
Speaker 9: are four individual.
Speaker 1: I let this one come out. I have a problem
Speaker 1: with that. But I'm going to park it for a minute,
Speaker 1: and I just want to talk about the logistics of
Speaker 1: having four relationships. Can you give me one reason why
Speaker 1: this would not be fresh? Hell, I could think of
Speaker 1: nothing worse.
Speaker 2: I guess if you had a high libido. I suppose
Speaker 2: that could be one reason why it works for you.
Speaker 2: Apart from that, I don't see a lot of the
Speaker 2: positives though swany like I agree the logistics would be
Speaker 2: extremely difficult, that it would be quite expensive as well,
Speaker 2: caring for four ladies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but he only hasn't one at a time apparently,
Speaker 1: and they've all got one week at a time.
Speaker 2: My favorite part of this whole story is the nickname.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get to that great they Here are the
Speaker 1: four girlfriends. They're real names, and then I'm going to
Speaker 1: go through through the nicknames. Okay, so that you've got
Speaker 1: Ariel Hill, Breonna Williams, this one a woman who goes
Speaker 1: by Christina, and another woman who goes by Monet. Okay,
Speaker 1: every woman also has a nickname. Christina goes by a
Speaker 1: pretty baby Monee. Is Phoenix? Fair that these sounds like
Speaker 1: that sound like now a polish colors Williams. Now, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna save her for last Hill, which is Ariel Hill,
Speaker 1: goes by twin Flame. Now they'd be jealous of that.
Speaker 1: The other girls would be jealous of that because twin
Speaker 1: flame means that you're the most important.
Speaker 2: Yes, but I think we both know that Brianna Williams
Speaker 2: is the most important given her nickname.
Speaker 1: And I'm annoyed because this is also my nickname. Give
Speaker 1: it to me, Swanny, sexy little Sun. He's women that
Speaker 1: live together, cycle together. So all of these women have
Speaker 1: their period at the same time. Good luck, noo, good
Speaker 1: luck no wonder he's on tour the Crissy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: I had a bit of a celebrity spot the other day.
Speaker 1: I was so excited. So I was driving home from
Speaker 1: work and there were lots of roads closed and I
Speaker 1: had to back Alie Sally. Anyway, I finally got free
Speaker 1: of the gridlock and I was scooting along this road
Speaker 1: feeling pretty smug actually, because every time I looked to
Speaker 1: the left, which is where I needed to go, it
Speaker 1: was all banked up and I was just sailing through.
Speaker 2: It was a you feel like you're on the fast
Speaker 2: and the furious correct. It's great.
Speaker 1: I was winning, and I keep in mind what I said,
Speaker 1: I was sailing through. I was going at full clip right.
Speaker 1: There was no one ahead of me, no one behind me,
Speaker 1: brilliant the speed limit. Out of the blue, a giant car,
Speaker 1: land or over size or bigger. I've never seen a
Speaker 1: bigger car just pulls out. Keep in mind, that car
Speaker 1: could have gone anytime before or anytime after. I looked
Speaker 1: at my revision mirror. It was it was like a
Speaker 1: ghost town behind me. But no, that car wanted to
Speaker 1: pull out right then.
Speaker 2: They were on a mission.
Speaker 1: And they were going to hit me. Because I was
Speaker 1: going at full clip. I honked my horn, which I'm
Speaker 1: very reticent to do. It's sounds so aggressive. I honked
Speaker 1: my horn merely because I thought, oh, this person can't
Speaker 1: see me for some reason, and they were going to
Speaker 1: hit me. They were not stopping. They kept on going anyway.
Speaker 1: Honked the horn. At this stage the car still didn't stop.
Speaker 1: It was pulling out, and whoever was driving it was
Speaker 1: waving at me, going I'm going, I'm going, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: I've got to go now. I saw shining in the
Speaker 1: sunlight a head full of silver foils. This person in
Speaker 1: the giant.
Speaker 2: Car, patting Newton.
Speaker 1: Had a good guess had obviously been at the hair
Speaker 1: salon there on the road on the street, and it
Speaker 1: had gone too long. It's a one hour park. At
Speaker 1: a two hour park, you know how long it takes.
Speaker 1: She had to move the car. She didn't technically have
Speaker 1: to move it right then, but she obviously did. And
Speaker 1: as I came ie to eye with the foil wearing person,
Speaker 1: I was thrilled to recognize the reckless driver. Who was
Speaker 1: it as Pettiflur Bearinger from the Real House, Melbourne.
Speaker 2: She joins us on the phone. Now, Swanny, Petty.
Speaker 3: Flur, Hello, how are you look?
Speaker 1: I'm well insured luckily for you now, Pettyfly. I no,
Speaker 1: who bets to differ now, Petty Flir? When I locked
Speaker 1: eyes with you, I was delighted. Did you lock eyes
Speaker 1: with me? Did you know that it was me that
Speaker 1: you nearly wrote off the Toyota rav four of.
Speaker 3: I had no idea, absolutely none at all.
Speaker 1: Why would you think?
Speaker 3: Inspector was on my tail? And I had to out
Speaker 3: of that parking and I saw you coming. I didn't
Speaker 3: know who you were. I saw a car coming with
Speaker 3: the indicator on trying to inch my spot.
Speaker 1: No, I was fun.
Speaker 3: Of me, and I was like, hell, no, you're not.
Speaker 3: I am going. I stuck my hand out and I
Speaker 3: was going.
Speaker 1: This makes dance, Now, this makes sense?
Speaker 3: What christ What did you know? I took a gamble
Speaker 3: on you hitting me because it would have been cheaper
Speaker 3: for you to hit me than the damn parking fine
Speaker 3: just what I could have sued you for reckless driving
Speaker 3: and roadway what I had no exist to pay, so
Speaker 3: it could have been cheaper than the damn cracking traffic fine.
Speaker 3: Sorry darling, but obviously you're a great driver because you
Speaker 3: did the right thing. You put your brakes on, you
Speaker 3: screamed at me, and you left and you went so
Speaker 3: all good.
Speaker 1: You got you. You got mad for no reason. I
Speaker 1: was going home. I didn't want your park Pettifler.
Speaker 8: And know that.
Speaker 1: And then weirdly we saw the reason why you were
Speaker 1: getting your hair because we ran into each other at
Speaker 1: Melbourne Fashion Festival when Jack was walking.
Speaker 4: That's right, that's it.
Speaker 1: Yea, he looks fabulous, And I.
Speaker 2: Realized, thank you, are you still in the best shape
Speaker 2: of your life?
Speaker 1: I'm the best shape of my life.
Speaker 3: Hubigs to Oh, Darling, I'm trying. I'm trying, because you
Speaker 3: know what that slogan is haunting me. It just haunts me.
Speaker 3: I have no choice, Darling.
Speaker 1: I have to not me, not me, Petifler, absolutely nobody,
Speaker 1: Petty Flour.
Speaker 2: For all the Real Housewives of Melbourne fans listening, is
Speaker 2: there any chance it's ever going to come back? Have
Speaker 2: you spoken to Gina or Gamble or the gals?
Speaker 3: We speak all the time and it should come back.
Speaker 3: It should And all the Orgies because everyone's screaming for
Speaker 3: the Orgies.
Speaker 1: What I want to do is go back and have
Speaker 1: a look because I seem to have missed all the
Speaker 1: episodes with the Orgies. Yeah, the Chrissy swan Show to
Speaker 1: do list Tuesday. Why do I have one more sleep
Speaker 1: written on my list? Jack?
Speaker 2: Because tomorrow's Swanning. Every caller that gets on air with
Speaker 2: us will win two hundred dollars cash thanks to Baker's Delight.
Speaker 2: And the reason we are doing this is we are
Speaker 2: getting everyone excited for National Hot Cross bun Day on Thursday.
Speaker 2: We're helping Baker's Delight celebrate National Hot Cross bun Day.
Speaker 2: Grab your free raspberry and white chalk hot Cross bund
Speaker 2: this Thursday from your local Baker's Delight.
Speaker 1: That's going in the diary Chrissy's click. I love Matthew
Speaker 1: McConaughey and I love Woody Harrelson. I love them both.
Speaker 1: I would watch them in anything, and in fact, that
Speaker 1: is a recommendation for you. They start in a series
Speaker 1: Netflix series that the name escapes me True Detective.
Speaker 2: Oh, I've not seen it.
Speaker 1: It's from years ago. It is so good.
Speaker 2: Twenty fourteen.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it is so good that they redid
Speaker 1: it with Well, it wasn't good the second series, it
Speaker 1: was no good, but the first one is unbelievably epic.
Speaker 1: And I love them both. And they sort of came
Speaker 1: out a few years ago out with the suspicion that
Speaker 1: maybe their brothers that they have the same father. And
Speaker 1: the plot is thickening. They're going to have a DNA test.
Speaker 2: We haven't done the DNA test, but we're probably going
Speaker 2: to do that. There's a real possibility.
Speaker 9: Matthew's mom, incredible lady, but very devious.
Speaker 2: You never know what's true what's not true. Said to
Speaker 2: me after I'd known her for twenty five said, I
Speaker 2: knew your father, and I found the ellipses troubling.
Speaker 1: I knew your father in the biblical sense. Matthew Conaughey.
Speaker 1: I miss him, and I saw a headline saying that
Speaker 1: he has not acted for six years. That's why I
Speaker 1: miss him.
Speaker 2: That is why. God, that's a long time.
Speaker 1: It's a really long time. He's had little kids though
Speaker 1: and stuff. Okay, he's been busy, Yeah, he has been busy.
Speaker 1: He's been he's been present there. I can just see
Speaker 1: him coming out in the morning making pancakes and saying, alright, alright, alright, yeah,
Speaker 1: elemnent sugar. Anyway, he's decided to come back to the
Speaker 1: big screen because he missed it. He loves performing, and secondly,
Speaker 1: he remembered how good he was at it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love hearing people say that.
Speaker 2: I've never seen Dallas Buyers Club. I still need to
Speaker 2: watch that.
Speaker 1: It's so cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I feel bad that I haven't.
Speaker 2: It's like a film that everyone should, I feel should
Speaker 2: see solutely.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't it be great to just see everything that you're
Speaker 1: supposed to see? Oh I watched that, Anora. Yes, it's
Speaker 1: very good. You can watch it at home, Okay, I'll talk.
Speaker 1: It's on one of the streamers. I never know which one.
Speaker 1: And also, weirdly, it must be in the ether because
Speaker 1: I've also just received an email apropos of nothing of
Speaker 1: a four ingredient soup that Woody Harrelson has posted.
Speaker 2: Isn't that weird?
Speaker 1: Did you know that he's vegan and this is a
Speaker 1: vegan soup and it looks amazing. I'm going to be baking.
Speaker 1: I love it and no meat may business. Now exciting news,
Speaker 1: big times in Melbourne. The f one is about to
Speaker 1: kick off. Yes, huge celebrities at it, Channing Tatum, I
Speaker 1: mean apart from you, Channing Tatum and his new prepubescent
Speaker 1: girlfriend Inka Williams.
Speaker 2: The Aussie. Yeah. Are they going to be at Glamor
Speaker 2: on the Grip tomorrow night?
Speaker 1: Yes they are. What are you going to be it?
Speaker 2: I'm huge, I will I'll track them down Swanny, I'll
Speaker 2: go full TMD paparazzi and try and get a video
Speaker 2: or photo for us.
Speaker 1: I love how Miguel you know where he's just come
Speaker 1: back into our life because we did the fashion Festival
Speaker 1: with him.
Speaker 2: His gorgeous but I love that man.
Speaker 1: You know, he's all over the f one. He lives
Speaker 1: life to the fullest, as they say on an RSVP
Speaker 1: dot com dot auro. But I love how he's like Hey,
Speaker 1: it swiney gab to the f one. I'm like, mate,
Speaker 1: I do not leave the house.
Speaker 2: Do you know me? Joki, Hey, I forgot to tell
Speaker 2: you as well. At backstage at the Fashion Festival last week,
Speaker 2: I took a photo to show you Miguel in the
Speaker 2: green room. It was just Miguel Sam Taunton from the
Speaker 2: Project Tonight three of us. Yeah, Miguel had brought him
Speaker 2: to cookbooks of his feast to sit there so that
Speaker 2: we would all see on and hopefully take one.
Speaker 1: He's so gorgeous.
Speaker 2: What did I love him? Him? Joel are up next
Speaker 2: to have a beautiful night.
Speaker 1: The chrisy Swan Show is a Nova podcast. For more
Speaker 1: great comedy shows like this, head to Nova podcast doc
Speaker 1: Are You