WEBVTT - #1959 Aiming For Average - Kelly Smith 0:00:01.240 --> 0:00:03.600 I get a team. It's John bos Craig Athney, har 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:05.960 Tiffany and Cook. We'll start with Tip, then we'll go 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:08.799 to the actual star of the show, Kelly Smith, who 0:00:08.880 --> 0:00:13.440 is rapidly climbing the fucking typ ladder. Tiff you and 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:14.560 I better watch our. 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:17.400 Backs and we're not going to have a spot here anymore. 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:21.320 Yeah the hell. It's like I was walking down Hampton 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:24.840 Street and people were like, who's that bloke with Kelly Smith? 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:30.520 I'm like, what, what? How are you? Cook? 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:32.400 I'm good, I'm good. 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:36.600 What's going on? Tell we love an update on your body, 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:39.000 because it's either brand new and bursting out of its 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:42.640 skin and full of fucking hormones and muscles and shit, 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:46.080 or it's fucked and you're getting treatment from nine different people. 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:47.760 That's the current status. 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:51.880 Option b today, Option Bree. I've got a shooting pain 0:00:52.000 --> 0:00:54.920 down and I'm in pain. It's not fun. 0:00:56.880 --> 0:00:59.520 Yeah, you're a little bit like a race horse. 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:03.960 That's what my boxing coach used to call me, the thoroughbread. 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:07.640 Yeah, because you're pretty. I mean like, I'm like a 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:11.319 fucking draft horse, right, I'm just a plunker probably in 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:14.679 a lot of ways, just a plunker, slow and steady, 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:19.200 no skill, no speed, fucking no talent, but you're like 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:23.280 the fucking ready made you know, would be Olympian like 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:25.959 four weeks notice, you'd be good for the Olympic Games. 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:29.640 You know. For me, I'll be good for the like that. 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:32.920 You know that room with the balls that ika, that's me. 0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:35.360 The room with the balls that I care? 0:01:35.480 --> 0:01:37.120 What is that when the kids play? 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:37.640 Oh? 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:38.880 I don't know that room? 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:40.360 Hell do you know that room? 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:42.679 Yeah? I think it's it was before the days of 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:44.560 O H and s though, because the kids would like 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:47.280 fall to the bottom and you know there's all sorts 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:48.720 of manky shit on the floor there. 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:51.520 Yeah, that's true. I never thought about that. I never 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:56.160 thought about that. Kelly Smith, welcome back to the project. 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:57.280 That's you. How are you? 0:01:57.440 --> 0:01:59.680 I'm very well. Thanks thanks for having me again. 0:02:00.520 --> 0:02:03.640 Thanks for ben had. What's going on over at you Central? 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:04.600 Did you work today? 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:05.560 I did. 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:09.040 I went to a conference today all about fundraising and 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:12.800 getting good people to donate their good money to good causes, 0:02:13.440 --> 0:02:14.519 and it was quite interesting. 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:17.600 I don't mind a good conference. I'm going to want 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:21.280 tomorrow tomorrow morning, but I'm speaking and then I'm leaving. 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:27.880 It's not exactly the same shout out to the people 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:33.200 from Sidekick who are graciously having me present at their conference. 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:36.680 Have we ever told our listeners what you do? I 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:40.040 don't know that we have, have we? And are we 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:40.720 allowed to? 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:44.760 Yeah? I've mentioned before that I work in disability. I 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:48.320 have done for twenty three years. So I started off 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:52.799 working as a support worker and then studied a whole 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:56.080 range of different things and now I'm marketing manager. So 0:02:56.960 --> 0:03:04.320 that involves doing a whole range of promotional advertising, supporting, fundraising, supporting, 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:06.080 getting all of the messaging out there so. 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:07.680 That people know who we are. 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:14.359 Yeah. Yeah, is there such a thing as what would 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:19.359 I call it, like from the public's perception, like charity 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:23.040 fatigue where you know, I probably get asked three or 0:03:23.040 --> 0:03:25.800 four times a week for money for something, which is cool, 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:30.519 but yeah, it must be hard for you. You work 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:32.480 at a special needs school, am I right? 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:35.080 So I work for a place that is for adults 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:39.600 with intellectual disability called Baby House, And there's definitely a 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:41.120 thing called donor fatigue. 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:42.520 So we're quite aware. 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:45.080 That, you know, we will be hitting up the same 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:48.760 audience to support us on a regular basis. So how 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:52.080 do we move ourselves out into a wider audience, and 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:54.880 that's what today was about. So there were people there 0:03:54.920 --> 0:03:59.160 that worked for indigenous charities for instance, and so it's 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:01.760 kind of how do you tap into an audience that 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:04.760 might not have any connection to you at all and 0:04:04.960 --> 0:04:07.520 make them, you know, want to open their wallets and 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:11.720 support you. So it's yeah, it can be tricky. It's 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:15.200 very rewarding when we do see the results and then 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:18.039 see you know, the people that we support benefit from that, 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:21.080 and that's you know, that's why I said in another 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:23.599 episode that I feel really honored to do what I do, Like, 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:27.320 I just love it. It can be hard, but it's great, 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:28.600 it's worthwhile in the end. 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:33.080 Well, that's work with purpose, isn't it? Like absolutely the 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:36.240 insection of a job and making a few bucks and 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:40.000 I would guess probably not going to become a millionaire 0:04:40.080 --> 0:04:44.640 doing that anytime soon, But that's not why you're doing it, right, No, No. 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:47.120 Like I left for a little while to work somewhere 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:50.520 else and it just had no soul to it. Like, 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:53.320 you know, nothing against working in different areas that do 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:57.120 you know, make a ton of cash, but this just 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:00.520 really aligns with my values and who I am a person. 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:04.760 Well, good for you. I think that's about ninety percent 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:06.560 of it when it comes to work, is finding the 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:10.520 thing that you genuinely care about, are passionate about, and 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:13.919 then I reckon the next important bit is being in 0:05:13.960 --> 0:05:20.359 an environment or culture a group where you like to be. Like, 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:23.760 even if you're doing meaningful work, you kind of want 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:26.760 to be around people you like. Otherwise it's a tough 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:27.799 day at the office. 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:30.960 Absolutely, and yeah, we're very lucky with that. So there's 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:33.320 lots of people that have been there. I mean, the 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:36.120 organization's been around for seventy five years next year, and 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:38.440 we've got people that have been there for thirty thirty 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:42.359 five years, people that have been there from almost the 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:46.040 beginning and still involved even though they're retired. So there's 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:50.320 some really good, passionate human beings that are part of us, 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:51.039 which is great. 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:53.920 When was the last time you had a job, TIF 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:56.279 like a job job where you went to work and 0:05:56.320 --> 0:06:00.000 you were an employee. 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:02.880 A decade two thousand and fifteen, what was that job? 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:09.960 I was in sales with Impact Digital to digital print company. 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:15.040 They were a great company too, they were great people. Really, Yeah, 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:19.200 why'd you leave to do my own thing? To be pt? 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:24.080 Do you give this whole thing a thing I'd been like, 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:26.760 I didn't even plan it. I just I was doing 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:28.720 it on the side, and then I got busy and 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:33.120 thought I kind of owed it to the situation to 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:38.080 give it a crack of a sales background. I was like, well, 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:40.799 you're pretty shit salesperson if I can't make it work. 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:44.640 Well, that's true. So you were thirty two, right, give 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:48.400 or take. Yeah, yeah, So how old were you when 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:49.279 you started working? 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:55.719 I would have been I was probably fourteen, to be honest. 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:57.719 I remember my first job, but my first full time 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:00.240 job at seventeen, right. 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:04.040 So that's fifteen years at the grindstone or fifteen years 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:06.599 on the front line of being an employee. That's good, 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:07.560 it's good. 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:08.720 Yeah, on myyards. 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:13.480 You've done. You've done your time now, Kelly. The reason 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:15.480 you are here is because you are the asker of 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:18.720 questions and we get really nice feedback about you. And 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:22.000 I'm not just saying that. I would say nothing if 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:24.800 that weren't the case, but it is the case. We 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:29.120 get nice feedback. People like you. They like your insightful questions, 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:32.360 and you're a little bit somewhat atypical thinking you're not 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:41.480 asking the same the same questions that I guess asked endlessly. So, yeah, 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:43.840 I'm glad you're back. What are we talking about. What's 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:45.520 at the top of your agenda today? 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:51.160 Well, the past couple of days, the episodes I've really 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:54.080 got a lot out of, so the episodes we've passed 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:56.160 you with Bobby, and then this morning there was one 0:07:56.200 --> 0:08:00.640 with doctor Sam and there were kind of the concepts 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:04.600 of don't wait until you're ready to do something, give 0:08:04.600 --> 0:08:08.160 it a crack, don't wait until you think that you're 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:10.120 going to be perfect, until you're going to be the 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:13.440 best at it, just have it, go at it. And 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:16.160 there was one the other day where Bobby was talking 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:19.960 about public speaking, and it was just go in and 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:23.560 aim for a four instead of the ten. And if 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:27.280 you can get by with giving the four, then rather 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:30.920 than letting that kind of dissuade you from giving it 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:34.160 another crack, learn from it, grow from it, and aim 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:37.760 for the ten. And I was thinking, well, how does 0:08:37.800 --> 0:08:40.800 this kind of relate to people who and I put 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:44.840 myself in this category, so it's like scared of things, 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:49.760 unsure about themselves or the situation, maybe just lazy, full 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:51.320 of excuses. 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:52.200 Or even the opposite end of that. 0:08:52.280 --> 0:08:56.640 Spectrum where they might be incredibly high achievers and are 0:08:56.640 --> 0:08:59.640 scared of failing, so they might not venture out into 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:03.840 giving to go. And I was just really like just 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:06.400 wanting to really unpack that to see kind of what's 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:10.640 that spectrum of going from being completely scared give it 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:13.679 a go. I'm such a high achievement that i never 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:15.199 want to fail, so I'm not going to try. 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:18.720 That's a really interesting question, right because I think a 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:21.440 lot of us who are good at something. I'm not 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:25.840 saying I'm good at anything. But so what came to 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:28.040 mind when you were asking this to feel free to 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:33.320 jump in tonight? What was me when I started at 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:39.679 Monash so doing my degree right, my doctorate and being 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:44.480 someone who outside of that world was quite, you know, 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:51.840 relatively competent and confident and somewhat successful and somewhat respected, 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:54.960 and then all of a sudden, I'm in this environment 0:09:55.040 --> 0:09:59.319 where I'm none of that, and it doesn't matter who 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:02.000 I am or what I do outside of there. Nobody 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:06.240 neither should they have, But not one person when I 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:09.760 arrived at Brain Park, which is the neuroscience neurocyc Lab 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.760 of Monash University. When I arrived and I sat in 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:15.760 my little cubicle up in the back far left fucking 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:19.440 corner like someone's granddad who was pissed and lost. Right, 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:24.640 not one person went, oh god, Craig Harpers joined the team, 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:29.000 and neither should they. Right. But it's like you go 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:32.440 from you know where. Sometimes I go somewhere and three 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:34.960 people I don't know stop me and say hello and 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:38.160 love your shit and thanks for that, you know. Obviously 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:40.800 not all the time, but pretty regularly I get, you 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:44.760 know whatever, and yeah, So now I'm in an environment 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:49.119 where I'm probably the dumbest, I'm probably the least academic, 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:53.200 and when I say dumbest, I'm talking in terms of 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:58.760 what's required in that environment, the least competent, definitely the oldest, 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:01.880 older than pretty much all of the staff, the faculty, 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:07.560 the professors. Yeah, and I literally in the first week 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:10.480 was thinking, call, how do I get out of this 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:17.839 without looking like a fucking pussy? You know? Or so 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:21.079 there was that, and I will say even now though 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:25.160 I still feel and We've spoken about this many times, 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:30.120 but you know, not so much imposter syndrome, but just 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:37.920 inadequate and less than But that kind of almost inferiority 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:43.840 complex for me weirdly, I like because it keeps me grounded. 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.760 I don't get ahead of myself. I realize that in 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:51.760 some rooms I'm pretty good and in other rooms I'm hopeless, 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:55.600 well not hopeless, but somewhat inept compared to who else 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:58.520 is in the room. So I think that's a real 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.319 that can be a pitfall for people who are somewhat 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:06.199 successful or competent or confident in a certain lane. They 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:08.200 don't want to get in another lane because they're going 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:10.320 to look silly. But over in this lane, in this 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:14.760 fish bowl, I'm pretty respected and you know, kind of competent. 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:19.320 So I definitely think, I mean, if that's what you 0:12:19.360 --> 0:12:23.640 want to do, like I am, I'm happy to go 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:27.880 into the room where I know I'm the the most 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:31.079 inadequate in that room because I can only get better. 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:36.360 And then back to your you're you know when Bobby 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.920 was talking about doname for a ten, aim for a four, Well, 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:44.080 when you think about, let's say, in relation to public speaking, 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:48.720 and really this could relate to any skill or any 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:52.640 any kind of thing that you want to do publicly 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.160 or not publicly. You know, it could be play the guitar, 0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:59.080 it could be run a marathon, well, if you're not 0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:01.640 currently playing the guitar, or you don't know how to, 0:13:01.840 --> 0:13:04.679 or you're not currently running, or you're not currently a 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:08.640 public speaker, four out of ten would be a fucking 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:12.439 great result, because I'm thinking right now, you're probably close 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:16.320 to a zero or a one, and so, yeah, I 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:19.200 totally agree with him, and I think that's wise, counsel, 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:23.840 because I mean, we all have to be prepared to 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:27.920 start as a metaphoric zero, or as I often say, 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:31.280 a metaphoric white belt. And the only way you become 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:33.280 a one or two or three or five or ten, 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:35.760 or the only way you become a yellow or blue 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.760 or green or purple or black belt, depending on what 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:42.000 system you're in, is by just showing up and getting 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:46.680 literally or like Tiff, literally punched in the face. I mean, 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:48.920 there was a time where she didn't know what her 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:51.440 left hook was or a jab or a fucking uppercut. 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:55.320 There was time where she literally couldn't, you know, throw 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:59.240 a combination. She didn't know the terminology, the language, like 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:03.920 how did she how did she become a successful fighter 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:07.800 and win stay titles? And well by starting off being 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:12.960 shit and so this and you can't get better at 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:15.560 what you're not doing now, if that's playing a guitar 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:18.640 or being a public speaker, or being a boxer or 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:23.000 building a business. When I started my first business, I 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:25.680 was overwhelmed with all the things that I didn't know 0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:28.440 and understand. I didn't know how to build a business, 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.600 grow a business, market a business. I didn't understand lawyers. 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:35.320 I didn't understand council regulations. I didn't understand insurance. I 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:39.640 didn't understand people management or leadership. I fuck, I didn't know. 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:42.840 There were one hundred things I needed to know. But 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:45.400 how do you get good at running a business well? 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:48.480 By being shit at the start and having a good 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:52.240 attitude and being humble and apologizing when you need to 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:56.760 and unlearning when you need to. But I think that 0:14:57.280 --> 0:15:00.000 you know, we just get in our own way emotionally 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:04.880 and psychologically because we don't want to be seen by 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:10.000 others to be inadequate or incompetent. We don't want to 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:12.560 be embarrassed. We don't want people to think we're done 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:14.640 with da da da da da, And then we're fifty 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:18.600 and this is the this is for me, that's always 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:22.120 been the urgency, like and that's self created urgency and 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:27.600 self created pressure, But that's how it works for me. 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:34.080 Like I like, I like being the best version of me. 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.760 I don't mean compared to anyone else, I mean the 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:39.920 best version of a better version of me compared to 0:15:39.920 --> 0:15:42.720 when I was fifty. And the only way that that 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:51.840 happens is under pressure and being prepared to be scared, inadequate, embarrassed, 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:54.920 you know, all of those things. But working through that. 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:56.840 I know that was a very long answer. 0:15:58.280 --> 0:15:59.640 It was No, it's good. Its good. 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:03.160 What I'm curious about though, And like, I completely relate 0:16:03.240 --> 0:16:07.000 to the self imposed pressure, Like I get told very 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:10.760 often that I'm very hard on myself, and I do 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:12.200 always you know, push. 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:13.000 For that more. 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:17.400 But what about the people? And like, so for me, 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:20.240 listening to podcasts initially was because I was looking for 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:23.960 something I needed an answer to, you know, why do I, 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:27.000 you know, have anxiety from time to time and how 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.360 do I then deal with that? And then discovered a 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:33.200 few more podcasts that were really delving into more self 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:34.320 awareness self help. 0:16:36.160 --> 0:16:38.840 What about those people that at. 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:42.920 The very start and they're so scared that they don't 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:46.760 know even how to put themselves out there, like they're 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:52.200 so potentially withdrawn or just you know, terrified of even 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.720 posting a photo of themselves, Like I've been in that position. 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:57.040 I messaged the other the other day and I said, 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:59.120 I put a video of myself on TikTok go me 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:04.040 best time. But what about those people that could be 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:06.840 listening that are kind of like, I am so shit 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:10.720 scared to do anything because I'm scared of being judged 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:14.239 or looked at or seen or heard or failing, Like 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:17.160 what would be the first step? 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:23.960 Yeah, okay, So being scared is normal, Being scared is healthy. 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:26.879 Being in fact, being scared the right type of fear 0:17:27.160 --> 0:17:30.760 can save your life. So I think, you know, when 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:34.840 we talk about being scared in our culture, it's almost 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:37.920 seen as a negative. I think it's not a negative. 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:40.560 It could be it depends, or it could be a 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:43.040 positive it depends, But I think more than either of 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:46.400 those things, it's an unavoidable part of the human experience. 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:49.000 So when someone says to me I'm really scared, I go, yeah, 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:51.280 me too, And they're like, what do you mean you? 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:54.400 I go They're like, what are you scared of? I go, well, 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.400 fucking get comfortable. I'll give you my list right Because 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.240 we are, I mean menace, especially because men want to 0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:03.239 be seen. Not all men, I get it, but some 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:06.960 men want to be seen as invincible, alpha male warriors, 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:10.080 not scared of anything. It's all bullshit. It's all bullshit, 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:13.959 you know. Like I've worked with I worked in I 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:16.760 did security in pubs and clubs for three years with 0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:20.440 these big, fucking alpha male warriors. You don't think they're 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:23.160 scared of stuff. Of course they I've worked with. I've 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:26.720 worked with the military, I've worked with Victoria police. I've 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:30.639 worked with a range of like different people who you 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:34.119 would think, oh, wow, they're very, very you know, they 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:37.080 must be close to fearless. No, they're not fearless. They're 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:42.280 fucking brave. They're courageous. Some of them, month by the way, 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:44.439 more in the bouncer category than the cop or the 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:51.119 military category, but some are. But it's like it, I 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:54.360 think it's more about a mental shift rather than going, 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:57.000 what is the thing that I do first? Well, I 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:59.119 think one of the things that we do first is 0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:01.919 we go I'm scared, and that's all right. I'm going 0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:04.439 to have to do a thing that is hard, and 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:10.200 that's all right. But for me, it is about doing obviously, 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:14.240 because different people have different objectives and are in different 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:18.800 places emotionally and mentally. I mean for somebody with agrophobia 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:21.359 or agoraphobia, people who don't want to leave the house 0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:24.320 or are very you know, maybe for them, walking to 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:30.000 the fucking letterbox is like Tiff winning seven fights. You know, 0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:35.720 it's all relative to the individual. And so what we're 0:19:35.840 --> 0:19:43.280 looking at is what is going to create some momentum behavioral, emotional, mental, 0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:46.200 What is going to move the needle a little bit? 0:19:46.240 --> 0:19:49.960 And sadly, not sadly, but practically. So for me to 0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:52.600 say what's the first thing, it depends like there is 0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:55.840 no there's no set first thing. Because the first thing 0:19:55.920 --> 0:19:59.080 for you might be putting a photo or a video 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:02.240 of yourself on tik talk. That might be something for 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:06.200 you that's groundbreaking and cathartic and that's a real act 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:08.520 of courage. For somebody else, they're like, what the fuck? 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:11.520 I do that twenty six times a day. But they're 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:15.760 terrified of puppies, you know, I don't know. And for 0:20:15.880 --> 0:20:19.160 some people, like for me, going to do a speaking 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:21.720 gig tomorrow with like two hundred people in a room 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:25.280 and blah blah blah blah blah, my overwhelming emotion is 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:30.320 excitement somebody else wouldn't get one minute sleep tonight. But 0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:36.400 it's not about the task or the skill of public speaking. 0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:38.960 It's about what that represents to you. So for me 0:20:39.080 --> 0:20:42.720 to go do that requires zero bravery. But for some 0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:47.520 people just to introduce me in a thirty second you know, 0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:50.400 read something for thirty seconds to introduce me would be 0:20:51.119 --> 0:20:56.600 overwhelmingly terrifying. So I think you know that the broad 0:20:56.640 --> 0:21:03.280 answer is lean into your fear. Do it intelligently and strategically, 0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:07.560 not recklessly. Right. And I think when we talk about 0:21:07.600 --> 0:21:10.320 putting ourselves under pressure like you did and I did, 0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:15.520 so there's healthy pressure and unhealthy pressure. So healthy pressure 0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:20.399 is right. I'm going to walk three thousand steps a day. 0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:24.080 That's my and because currently I'm walking a thousand cool 0:21:24.760 --> 0:21:27.840 and that's non negotiable for the next fourteen days. So 0:21:27.960 --> 0:21:29.880 I've got to make that commitment. And what I'm also 0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:31.600 going to do is I'm going to talk about it 0:21:31.640 --> 0:21:34.280 on the podcast. Hey, everyone, this is what I'm doing 0:21:34.320 --> 0:21:37.000 next fourteen days. I'm currently one. I'm going to triple it. 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:39.080 I'm going to do three thousand. I'm going to report 0:21:39.119 --> 0:21:41.200 into Tiff and Kelly and blah blah blah, so now 0:21:41.240 --> 0:21:45.040 I'm kind of creating, and of course I cannot do it, 0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:48.960 of course, but in that way where it's something that's 0:21:49.000 --> 0:21:55.199 not insurmountable, it's not overwhelming, it's not reckless. But I 0:21:55.240 --> 0:21:58.800 think it's like, I think it is not only important 0:21:59.000 --> 0:22:03.160 imperative that we create a level of pressure for ourselves 0:22:03.840 --> 0:22:08.480 in an intelligent way, not a reckless way, because otherwise, 0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:12.800 how the fuck can we become more resilient if we 0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:17.600 are always trying to take pressure off ourselves. Now, sometimes 0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:20.960 sure like Tiff having an injury and going, I'm not 0:22:20.960 --> 0:22:23.200 going to put myself under the pressure of training the 0:22:23.200 --> 0:22:25.440 next three days on my body is telling that's cool. 0:22:26.400 --> 0:22:29.639 But if TIF doesn't train for the next year, because whatever, 0:22:29.680 --> 0:22:32.600 that's different, you know. So it's it's for me. It 0:22:32.680 --> 0:22:38.280 is very much the intersection of being willing to get 0:22:38.359 --> 0:22:42.359 uncomfortable or put yourself under pressure, being strategic and intelligent 0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:50.320 about how that works, and really being willing to explore 0:22:50.359 --> 0:22:54.520 your potential. And you know, like we've said, for some people, 0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:58.720 a five minute walker is a breakthrough. So it's all 0:22:58.760 --> 0:23:01.359 relative to the individual. But you know, if I sat 0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:04.040 with an individual and I got their story, then I 0:23:04.080 --> 0:23:07.440 could probably come up with something that I think I 0:23:07.520 --> 0:23:09.879 think might be a good starting point, and then I 0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:12.320 would unpack that with them and say, what do you think, 0:23:14.359 --> 0:23:17.040 like I think you doing this? Right? I think you 0:23:17.160 --> 0:23:19.359 doing this like you put up your hand and said, 0:23:20.040 --> 0:23:22.240 I don't know. Six months ago when it was I said, hey, 0:23:22.280 --> 0:23:25.199 everybody on the New Project Facebook page, I'm doing a. 0:23:25.680 --> 0:23:27.240 I want to do a Q and A. Send me 0:23:27.280 --> 0:23:29.959