1
00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:03,600
Speaker 1: I get a team. It's John bos Craig Athney, har

2
00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:05,960
Speaker 1: Tiffany and Cook. We'll start with Tip, then we'll go

3
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,799
Speaker 1: to the actual star of the show, Kelly Smith, who

4
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:13,440
Speaker 1: is rapidly climbing the fucking typ ladder. Tiff you and

5
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,560
Speaker 1: I better watch our.

6
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,400
Speaker 2: Backs and we're not going to have a spot here anymore.

7
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:21,320
Speaker 1: Yeah the hell. It's like I was walking down Hampton

8
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,840
Speaker 1: Street and people were like, who's that bloke with Kelly Smith?

9
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:30,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, what, what? How are you? Cook?

10
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:32,400
Speaker 3: I'm good, I'm good.

11
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,600
Speaker 1: What's going on? Tell we love an update on your body,

12
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,000
Speaker 1: because it's either brand new and bursting out of its

13
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,640
Speaker 1: skin and full of fucking hormones and muscles and shit,

14
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,080
Speaker 1: or it's fucked and you're getting treatment from nine different people.

15
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,760
Speaker 1: That's the current status.

16
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,880
Speaker 2: Option b today, Option Bree. I've got a shooting pain

17
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,920
Speaker 2: down and I'm in pain. It's not fun.

18
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're a little bit like a race horse.

19
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,960
Speaker 2: That's what my boxing coach used to call me, the thoroughbread.

20
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're pretty. I mean like, I'm like a

21
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,319
Speaker 1: fucking draft horse, right, I'm just a plunker probably in

22
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:14,679
Speaker 1: a lot of ways, just a plunker, slow and steady,

23
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:19,200
Speaker 1: no skill, no speed, fucking no talent, but you're like

24
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:23,280
Speaker 1: the fucking ready made you know, would be Olympian like

25
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,959
Speaker 1: four weeks notice, you'd be good for the Olympic Games.

26
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,640
Speaker 1: You know. For me, I'll be good for the like that.

27
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,920
Speaker 1: You know that room with the balls that ika, that's me.

28
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,360
Speaker 3: The room with the balls that I care?

29
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,120
Speaker 1: What is that when the kids play?

30
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:37,640
Speaker 2: Oh?

31
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:38,880
Speaker 3: I don't know that room?

32
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,360
Speaker 1: Hell do you know that room?

33
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,679
Speaker 4: Yeah? I think it's it was before the days of

34
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,560
Speaker 4: O H and s though, because the kids would like

35
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,280
Speaker 4: fall to the bottom and you know there's all sorts

36
00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:48,720
Speaker 4: of manky shit on the floor there.

37
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. I never thought about that. I never

38
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:56,160
Speaker 1: thought about that. Kelly Smith, welcome back to the project.

39
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,280
Speaker 1: That's you. How are you?

40
00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,680
Speaker 3: I'm very well. Thanks thanks for having me again.

41
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,640
Speaker 1: Thanks for ben had. What's going on over at you Central?

42
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:04,600
Speaker 1: Did you work today?

43
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:05,560
Speaker 3: I did.

44
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,040
Speaker 4: I went to a conference today all about fundraising and

45
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,800
Speaker 4: getting good people to donate their good money to good causes,

46
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:14,519
Speaker 4: and it was quite interesting.

47
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,600
Speaker 1: I don't mind a good conference. I'm going to want

48
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:21,280
Speaker 1: tomorrow tomorrow morning, but I'm speaking and then I'm leaving.

49
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,880
Speaker 1: It's not exactly the same shout out to the people

50
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:33,200
Speaker 1: from Sidekick who are graciously having me present at their conference.

51
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,680
Speaker 1: Have we ever told our listeners what you do? I

52
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,040
Speaker 1: don't know that we have, have we? And are we

53
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:40,720
Speaker 1: allowed to?

54
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,760
Speaker 4: Yeah? I've mentioned before that I work in disability. I

55
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,320
Speaker 4: have done for twenty three years. So I started off

56
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:52,799
Speaker 4: working as a support worker and then studied a whole

57
00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:56,080
Speaker 4: range of different things and now I'm marketing manager. So

58
00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:04,320
Speaker 4: that involves doing a whole range of promotional advertising, supporting, fundraising, supporting,

59
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,080
Speaker 4: getting all of the messaging out there so.

60
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,680
Speaker 3: That people know who we are.

61
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:14,359
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, is there such a thing as what would

62
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:19,359
Speaker 1: I call it, like from the public's perception, like charity

63
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:23,040
Speaker 1: fatigue where you know, I probably get asked three or

64
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,800
Speaker 1: four times a week for money for something, which is cool,

65
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:30,519
Speaker 1: but yeah, it must be hard for you. You work

66
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,480
Speaker 1: at a special needs school, am I right?

67
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,080
Speaker 4: So I work for a place that is for adults

68
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:39,600
Speaker 4: with intellectual disability called Baby House, And there's definitely a

69
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,120
Speaker 4: thing called donor fatigue.

70
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,520
Speaker 3: So we're quite aware.

71
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,080
Speaker 4: That, you know, we will be hitting up the same

72
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,760
Speaker 4: audience to support us on a regular basis. So how

73
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,080
Speaker 4: do we move ourselves out into a wider audience, and

74
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,880
Speaker 4: that's what today was about. So there were people there

75
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:59,160
Speaker 4: that worked for indigenous charities for instance, and so it's

76
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,760
Speaker 4: kind of how do you tap into an audience that

77
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,760
Speaker 4: might not have any connection to you at all and

78
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,520
Speaker 4: make them, you know, want to open their wallets and

79
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:11,720
Speaker 4: support you. So it's yeah, it can be tricky. It's

80
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,200
Speaker 4: very rewarding when we do see the results and then

81
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,039
Speaker 4: see you know, the people that we support benefit from that,

82
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,080
Speaker 4: and that's you know, that's why I said in another

83
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,599
Speaker 4: episode that I feel really honored to do what I do, Like,

84
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,320
Speaker 4: I just love it. It can be hard, but it's great,

85
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,600
Speaker 4: it's worthwhile in the end.

86
00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:33,080
Speaker 1: Well, that's work with purpose, isn't it? Like absolutely the

87
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,240
Speaker 1: insection of a job and making a few bucks and

88
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:40,000
Speaker 1: I would guess probably not going to become a millionaire

89
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:44,640
Speaker 1: doing that anytime soon, But that's not why you're doing it, right, No, No.

90
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,120
Speaker 4: Like I left for a little while to work somewhere

91
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,520
Speaker 4: else and it just had no soul to it. Like,

92
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,320
Speaker 4: you know, nothing against working in different areas that do

93
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,120
Speaker 4: you know, make a ton of cash, but this just

94
00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,520
Speaker 4: really aligns with my values and who I am a person.

95
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,760
Speaker 1: Well, good for you. I think that's about ninety percent

96
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,560
Speaker 1: of it when it comes to work, is finding the

97
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:10,520
Speaker 1: thing that you genuinely care about, are passionate about, and

98
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,919
Speaker 1: then I reckon the next important bit is being in

99
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:20,359
Speaker 1: an environment or culture a group where you like to be. Like,

100
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,760
Speaker 1: even if you're doing meaningful work, you kind of want

101
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,760
Speaker 1: to be around people you like. Otherwise it's a tough

102
00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:27,799
Speaker 1: day at the office.

103
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,960
Speaker 4: Absolutely, and yeah, we're very lucky with that. So there's

104
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,320
Speaker 4: lots of people that have been there. I mean, the

105
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,120
Speaker 4: organization's been around for seventy five years next year, and

106
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,440
Speaker 4: we've got people that have been there for thirty thirty

107
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:42,359
Speaker 4: five years, people that have been there from almost the

108
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,040
Speaker 4: beginning and still involved even though they're retired. So there's

109
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:50,320
Speaker 4: some really good, passionate human beings that are part of us,

110
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,039
Speaker 4: which is great.

111
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,920
Speaker 1: When was the last time you had a job, TIF

112
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,279
Speaker 1: like a job job where you went to work and

113
00:05:56,320 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 1: you were an employee.

114
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:02,880
Speaker 2: A decade two thousand and fifteen, what was that job?

115
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:09,960
Speaker 2: I was in sales with Impact Digital to digital print company.

116
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:15,040
Speaker 2: They were a great company too, they were great people. Really, Yeah,

117
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:19,200
Speaker 2: why'd you leave to do my own thing? To be pt?

118
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:24,080
Speaker 2: Do you give this whole thing a thing I'd been like,

119
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,760
Speaker 2: I didn't even plan it. I just I was doing

120
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,720
Speaker 2: it on the side, and then I got busy and

121
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:33,120
Speaker 2: thought I kind of owed it to the situation to

122
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:38,080
Speaker 2: give it a crack of a sales background. I was like, well,

123
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,799
Speaker 2: you're pretty shit salesperson if I can't make it work.

124
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,640
Speaker 1: Well, that's true. So you were thirty two, right, give

125
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,400
Speaker 1: or take. Yeah, yeah, So how old were you when

126
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,279
Speaker 1: you started working?

127
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,719
Speaker 2: I would have been I was probably fourteen, to be honest.

128
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,719
Speaker 2: I remember my first job, but my first full time

129
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,240
Speaker 2: job at seventeen, right.

130
00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:04,040
Speaker 1: So that's fifteen years at the grindstone or fifteen years

131
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,599
Speaker 1: on the front line of being an employee. That's good,

132
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:07,560
Speaker 1: it's good.

133
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:08,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, on myyards.

134
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,480
Speaker 1: You've done. You've done your time now, Kelly. The reason

135
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,480
Speaker 1: you are here is because you are the asker of

136
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,720
Speaker 1: questions and we get really nice feedback about you. And

137
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:22,000
Speaker 1: I'm not just saying that. I would say nothing if

138
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,800
Speaker 1: that weren't the case, but it is the case. We

139
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:29,120
Speaker 1: get nice feedback. People like you. They like your insightful questions,

140
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,360
Speaker 1: and you're a little bit somewhat atypical thinking you're not

141
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:41,480
Speaker 1: asking the same the same questions that I guess asked endlessly. So, yeah,

142
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,840
Speaker 1: I'm glad you're back. What are we talking about. What's

143
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,520
Speaker 1: at the top of your agenda today?

144
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:51,160
Speaker 4: Well, the past couple of days, the episodes I've really

145
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,080
Speaker 4: got a lot out of, so the episodes we've passed

146
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,160
Speaker 4: you with Bobby, and then this morning there was one

147
00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:00,640
Speaker 4: with doctor Sam and there were kind of the concepts

148
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,600
Speaker 4: of don't wait until you're ready to do something, give

149
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:08,160
Speaker 4: it a crack, don't wait until you think that you're

150
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,120
Speaker 4: going to be perfect, until you're going to be the

151
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:13,440
Speaker 4: best at it, just have it, go at it. And

152
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,160
Speaker 4: there was one the other day where Bobby was talking

153
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,960
Speaker 4: about public speaking, and it was just go in and

154
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,560
Speaker 4: aim for a four instead of the ten. And if

155
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,280
Speaker 4: you can get by with giving the four, then rather

156
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:30,920
Speaker 4: than letting that kind of dissuade you from giving it

157
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,160
Speaker 4: another crack, learn from it, grow from it, and aim

158
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,760
Speaker 4: for the ten. And I was thinking, well, how does

159
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,800
Speaker 4: this kind of relate to people who and I put

160
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,840
Speaker 4: myself in this category, so it's like scared of things,

161
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:49,760
Speaker 4: unsure about themselves or the situation, maybe just lazy, full

162
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,320
Speaker 4: of excuses.

163
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,200
Speaker 3: Or even the opposite end of that.

164
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:56,640
Speaker 4: Spectrum where they might be incredibly high achievers and are

165
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,640
Speaker 4: scared of failing, so they might not venture out into

166
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:03,840
Speaker 4: giving to go. And I was just really like just

167
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,400
Speaker 4: wanting to really unpack that to see kind of what's

168
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:10,640
Speaker 4: that spectrum of going from being completely scared give it

169
00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:13,679
Speaker 4: a go. I'm such a high achievement that i never

170
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,199
Speaker 4: want to fail, so I'm not going to try.

171
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,720
Speaker 1: That's a really interesting question, right because I think a

172
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,440
Speaker 1: lot of us who are good at something. I'm not

173
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:25,840
Speaker 1: saying I'm good at anything. But so what came to

174
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,040
Speaker 1: mind when you were asking this to feel free to

175
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:33,320
Speaker 1: jump in tonight? What was me when I started at

176
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:39,679
Speaker 1: Monash so doing my degree right, my doctorate and being

177
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:44,480
Speaker 1: someone who outside of that world was quite, you know,

178
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:51,840
Speaker 1: relatively competent and confident and somewhat successful and somewhat respected,

179
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,960
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, I'm in this environment

180
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:59,319
Speaker 1: where I'm none of that, and it doesn't matter who

181
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:02,000
Speaker 1: I am or what I do outside of there. Nobody

182
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,240
Speaker 1: neither should they have, But not one person when I

183
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,760
Speaker 1: arrived at Brain Park, which is the neuroscience neurocyc Lab

184
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,760
Speaker 1: of Monash University. When I arrived and I sat in

185
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,760
Speaker 1: my little cubicle up in the back far left fucking

186
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,440
Speaker 1: corner like someone's granddad who was pissed and lost. Right,

187
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:24,640
Speaker 1: not one person went, oh god, Craig Harpers joined the team,

188
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:29,000
Speaker 1: and neither should they. Right. But it's like you go

189
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,440
Speaker 1: from you know where. Sometimes I go somewhere and three

190
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,960
Speaker 1: people I don't know stop me and say hello and

191
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:38,160
Speaker 1: love your shit and thanks for that, you know. Obviously

192
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,800
Speaker 1: not all the time, but pretty regularly I get, you

193
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,760
Speaker 1: know whatever, and yeah, So now I'm in an environment

194
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:49,119
Speaker 1: where I'm probably the dumbest, I'm probably the least academic,

195
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,200
Speaker 1: and when I say dumbest, I'm talking in terms of

196
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:58,760
Speaker 1: what's required in that environment, the least competent, definitely the oldest,

197
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,880
Speaker 1: older than pretty much all of the staff, the faculty,

198
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:07,560
Speaker 1: the professors. Yeah, and I literally in the first week

199
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,480
Speaker 1: was thinking, call, how do I get out of this

200
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:17,839
Speaker 1: without looking like a fucking pussy? You know? Or so

201
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,079
Speaker 1: there was that, and I will say even now though

202
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,160
Speaker 1: I still feel and We've spoken about this many times,

203
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:30,120
Speaker 1: but you know, not so much imposter syndrome, but just

204
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:37,920
Speaker 1: inadequate and less than But that kind of almost inferiority

205
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:43,840
Speaker 1: complex for me weirdly, I like because it keeps me grounded.

206
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,760
Speaker 1: I don't get ahead of myself. I realize that in

207
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:51,760
Speaker 1: some rooms I'm pretty good and in other rooms I'm hopeless,

208
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,600
Speaker 1: well not hopeless, but somewhat inept compared to who else

209
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:58,520
Speaker 1: is in the room. So I think that's a real

210
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,319
Speaker 1: that can be a pitfall for people who are somewhat

211
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:06,199
Speaker 1: successful or competent or confident in a certain lane. They

212
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,200
Speaker 1: don't want to get in another lane because they're going

213
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,320
Speaker 1: to look silly. But over in this lane, in this

214
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,760
Speaker 1: fish bowl, I'm pretty respected and you know, kind of competent.

215
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:19,320
Speaker 1: So I definitely think, I mean, if that's what you

216
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:23,640
Speaker 1: want to do, like I am, I'm happy to go

217
00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:27,880
Speaker 1: into the room where I know I'm the the most

218
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,079
Speaker 1: inadequate in that room because I can only get better.

219
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:36,360
Speaker 1: And then back to your you're you know when Bobby

220
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,920
Speaker 1: was talking about doname for a ten, aim for a four, Well,

221
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:44,080
Speaker 1: when you think about, let's say, in relation to public speaking,

222
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:48,720
Speaker 1: and really this could relate to any skill or any

223
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:52,640
Speaker 1: any kind of thing that you want to do publicly

224
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,160
Speaker 1: or not publicly. You know, it could be play the guitar,

225
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:59,080
Speaker 1: it could be run a marathon, well, if you're not

226
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,640
Speaker 1: currently playing the guitar, or you don't know how to,

227
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,679
Speaker 1: or you're not currently running, or you're not currently a

228
00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:08,640
Speaker 1: public speaker, four out of ten would be a fucking

229
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,439
Speaker 1: great result, because I'm thinking right now, you're probably close

230
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:16,320
Speaker 1: to a zero or a one, and so, yeah, I

231
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,200
Speaker 1: totally agree with him, and I think that's wise, counsel,

232
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,840
Speaker 1: because I mean, we all have to be prepared to

233
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,920
Speaker 1: start as a metaphoric zero, or as I often say,

234
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:31,280
Speaker 1: a metaphoric white belt. And the only way you become

235
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,280
Speaker 1: a one or two or three or five or ten,

236
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,760
Speaker 1: or the only way you become a yellow or blue

237
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,760
Speaker 1: or green or purple or black belt, depending on what

238
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,000
Speaker 1: system you're in, is by just showing up and getting

239
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,680
Speaker 1: literally or like Tiff, literally punched in the face. I mean,

240
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:48,920
Speaker 1: there was a time where she didn't know what her

241
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,440
Speaker 1: left hook was or a jab or a fucking uppercut.

242
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,320
Speaker 1: There was time where she literally couldn't, you know, throw

243
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:59,240
Speaker 1: a combination. She didn't know the terminology, the language, like

244
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,920
Speaker 1: how did she how did she become a successful fighter

245
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,800
Speaker 1: and win stay titles? And well by starting off being

246
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,960
Speaker 1: shit and so this and you can't get better at

247
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,560
Speaker 1: what you're not doing now, if that's playing a guitar

248
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,640
Speaker 1: or being a public speaker, or being a boxer or

249
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:23,000
Speaker 1: building a business. When I started my first business, I

250
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,680
Speaker 1: was overwhelmed with all the things that I didn't know

251
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,440
Speaker 1: and understand. I didn't know how to build a business,

252
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,600
Speaker 1: grow a business, market a business. I didn't understand lawyers.

253
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:35,320
Speaker 1: I didn't understand council regulations. I didn't understand insurance. I

254
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:39,640
Speaker 1: didn't understand people management or leadership. I fuck, I didn't know.

255
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,840
Speaker 1: There were one hundred things I needed to know. But

256
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,400
Speaker 1: how do you get good at running a business well?

257
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,480
Speaker 1: By being shit at the start and having a good

258
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:52,240
Speaker 1: attitude and being humble and apologizing when you need to

259
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,760
Speaker 1: and unlearning when you need to. But I think that

260
00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:00,000
Speaker 1: you know, we just get in our own way emotionally

261
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:04,880
Speaker 1: and psychologically because we don't want to be seen by

262
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:10,000
Speaker 1: others to be inadequate or incompetent. We don't want to

263
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,560
Speaker 1: be embarrassed. We don't want people to think we're done

264
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,640
Speaker 1: with da da da da da, And then we're fifty

265
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,600
Speaker 1: and this is the this is for me, that's always

266
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,120
Speaker 1: been the urgency, like and that's self created urgency and

267
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:27,600
Speaker 1: self created pressure, But that's how it works for me.

268
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:34,080
Speaker 1: Like I like, I like being the best version of me.

269
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,760
Speaker 1: I don't mean compared to anyone else, I mean the

270
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,920
Speaker 1: best version of a better version of me compared to

271
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,720
Speaker 1: when I was fifty. And the only way that that

272
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:51,840
Speaker 1: happens is under pressure and being prepared to be scared, inadequate, embarrassed,

273
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,920
Speaker 1: you know, all of those things. But working through that.

274
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,840
Speaker 1: I know that was a very long answer.

275
00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,640
Speaker 3: It was No, it's good. Its good.

276
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,160
Speaker 4: What I'm curious about though, And like, I completely relate

277
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:07,000
Speaker 4: to the self imposed pressure, Like I get told very

278
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,760
Speaker 4: often that I'm very hard on myself, and I do

279
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,200
Speaker 4: always you know, push.

280
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,000
Speaker 3: For that more.

281
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,400
Speaker 4: But what about the people? And like, so for me,

282
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,240
Speaker 4: listening to podcasts initially was because I was looking for

283
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,960
Speaker 4: something I needed an answer to, you know, why do I,

284
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,000
Speaker 4: you know, have anxiety from time to time and how

285
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,360
Speaker 4: do I then deal with that? And then discovered a

286
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,200
Speaker 4: few more podcasts that were really delving into more self

287
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,320
Speaker 4: awareness self help.

288
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,840
Speaker 3: What about those people that at.

289
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:42,920
Speaker 4: The very start and they're so scared that they don't

290
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,760
Speaker 4: know even how to put themselves out there, like they're

291
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:52,200
Speaker 4: so potentially withdrawn or just you know, terrified of even

292
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,720
Speaker 4: posting a photo of themselves, Like I've been in that position.

293
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,040
Speaker 4: I messaged the other the other day and I said,

294
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,120
Speaker 4: I put a video of myself on TikTok go me

295
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:04,040
Speaker 4: best time. But what about those people that could be

296
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,840
Speaker 4: listening that are kind of like, I am so shit

297
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,720
Speaker 4: scared to do anything because I'm scared of being judged

298
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,239
Speaker 4: or looked at or seen or heard or failing, Like

299
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,160
Speaker 4: what would be the first step?

300
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:23,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So being scared is normal, Being scared is healthy.

301
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,879
Speaker 1: Being in fact, being scared the right type of fear

302
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:30,760
Speaker 1: can save your life. So I think, you know, when

303
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:34,840
Speaker 1: we talk about being scared in our culture, it's almost

304
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,920
Speaker 1: seen as a negative. I think it's not a negative.

305
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,560
Speaker 1: It could be it depends, or it could be a

306
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,040
Speaker 1: positive it depends, But I think more than either of

307
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,400
Speaker 1: those things, it's an unavoidable part of the human experience.

308
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,000
Speaker 1: So when someone says to me I'm really scared, I go, yeah,

309
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 1: me too, And they're like, what do you mean you?

310
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,400
Speaker 1: I go They're like, what are you scared of? I go, well,

311
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,400
Speaker 1: fucking get comfortable. I'll give you my list right Because

312
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 1: we are, I mean menace, especially because men want to

313
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,239
Speaker 1: be seen. Not all men, I get it, but some

314
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 1: men want to be seen as invincible, alpha male warriors,

315
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,080
Speaker 1: not scared of anything. It's all bullshit. It's all bullshit,

316
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,959
Speaker 1: you know. Like I've worked with I worked in I

317
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,760
Speaker 1: did security in pubs and clubs for three years with

318
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:20,440
Speaker 1: these big, fucking alpha male warriors. You don't think they're

319
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,160
Speaker 1: scared of stuff. Of course they I've worked with. I've

320
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,720
Speaker 1: worked with the military, I've worked with Victoria police. I've

321
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,639
Speaker 1: worked with a range of like different people who you

322
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:34,119
Speaker 1: would think, oh, wow, they're very, very you know, they

323
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,080
Speaker 1: must be close to fearless. No, they're not fearless. They're

324
00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:42,280
Speaker 1: fucking brave. They're courageous. Some of them, month by the way,

325
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,439
Speaker 1: more in the bouncer category than the cop or the

326
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:51,119
Speaker 1: military category, but some are. But it's like it, I

327
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,360
Speaker 1: think it's more about a mental shift rather than going,

328
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 1: what is the thing that I do first? Well, I

329
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,119
Speaker 1: think one of the things that we do first is

330
00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:01,919
Speaker 1: we go I'm scared, and that's all right. I'm going

331
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,439
Speaker 1: to have to do a thing that is hard, and

332
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:10,200
Speaker 1: that's all right. But for me, it is about doing obviously,

333
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:14,240
Speaker 1: because different people have different objectives and are in different

334
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,800
Speaker 1: places emotionally and mentally. I mean for somebody with agrophobia

335
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,359
Speaker 1: or agoraphobia, people who don't want to leave the house

336
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 1: or are very you know, maybe for them, walking to

337
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 1: the fucking letterbox is like Tiff winning seven fights. You know,

338
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:35,720
Speaker 1: it's all relative to the individual. And so what we're

339
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 1: looking at is what is going to create some momentum behavioral, emotional, mental,

340
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 1: What is going to move the needle a little bit?

341
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,960
Speaker 1: And sadly, not sadly, but practically. So for me to

342
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 1: say what's the first thing, it depends like there is

343
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,840
Speaker 1: no there's no set first thing. Because the first thing

344
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,080
Speaker 1: for you might be putting a photo or a video

345
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 1: of yourself on tik talk. That might be something for

346
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:06,200
Speaker 1: you that's groundbreaking and cathartic and that's a real act

347
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 1: of courage. For somebody else, they're like, what the fuck?

348
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 1: I do that twenty six times a day. But they're

349
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 1: terrified of puppies, you know, I don't know. And for

350
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:19,160
Speaker 1: some people, like for me, going to do a speaking

351
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,720
Speaker 1: gig tomorrow with like two hundred people in a room

352
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah blah blah, my overwhelming emotion is

353
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:30,320
Speaker 1: excitement somebody else wouldn't get one minute sleep tonight. But

354
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:36,400
Speaker 1: it's not about the task or the skill of public speaking.

355
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 1: It's about what that represents to you. So for me

356
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 1: to go do that requires zero bravery. But for some

357
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 1: people just to introduce me in a thirty second you know,

358
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,400
Speaker 1: read something for thirty seconds to introduce me would be

359
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 1: overwhelmingly terrifying. So I think you know that the broad

360
00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 1: answer is lean into your fear. Do it intelligently and strategically,

361
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 1: not recklessly. Right. And I think when we talk about

362
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 1: putting ourselves under pressure like you did and I did,

363
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 1: so there's healthy pressure and unhealthy pressure. So healthy pressure

364
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 1: is right. I'm going to walk three thousand steps a day.

365
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 1: That's my and because currently I'm walking a thousand cool

366
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 1: and that's non negotiable for the next fourteen days. So

367
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:29,880
Speaker 1: I've got to make that commitment. And what I'm also

368
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 1: going to do is I'm going to talk about it

369
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 1: on the podcast. Hey, everyone, this is what I'm doing

370
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 1: next fourteen days. I'm currently one. I'm going to triple it.

371
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: I'm going to do three thousand. I'm going to report

372
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,200
Speaker 1: into Tiff and Kelly and blah blah blah, so now

373
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 1: I'm kind of creating, and of course I cannot do it,

374
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 1: of course, but in that way where it's something that's

375
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:55,199
Speaker 1: not insurmountable, it's not overwhelming, it's not reckless. But I

376
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 1: think it's like, I think it is not only important

377
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,160
Speaker 1: imperative that we create a level of pressure for ourselves

378
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 1: in an intelligent way, not a reckless way, because otherwise,

379
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: how the fuck can we become more resilient if we

380
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 1: are always trying to take pressure off ourselves. Now, sometimes

381
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 1: sure like Tiff having an injury and going, I'm not

382
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 1: going to put myself under the pressure of training the

383
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 1: next three days on my body is telling that's cool.

384
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 1: But if TIF doesn't train for the next year, because whatever,

385
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: that's different, you know. So it's it's for me. It

386
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 1: is very much the intersection of being willing to get

387
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 1: uncomfortable or put yourself under pressure, being strategic and intelligent

388
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 1: about how that works, and really being willing to explore

389
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 1: your potential. And you know, like we've said, for some people,

390
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 1: a five minute walker is a breakthrough. So it's all

391
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 1: relative to the individual. But you know, if I sat

392
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 1: with an individual and I got their story, then I

393
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,440
Speaker 1: could probably come up with something that I think I

394
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,879
Speaker 1: think might be a good starting point, and then I

395
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 1: would unpack that with them and say, what do you think,

396
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 1: like I think you doing this? Right? I think you

397
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,359
Speaker 1: doing this like you put up your hand and said,

398
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 1: I don't know. Six months ago when it was I said, hey,

399
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,199
Speaker 1: everybody on the New Project Facebook page, I'm doing a.

400
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 1: I want to do a Q and A. Send me

401
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,959
Speaker 1: some cues and I'll give you some a's right, And

402
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 1: then you went, here's my cue? Can I ask you

403
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,880
Speaker 1: the questions? And I went, I know, like, I don't

404
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 1: know you well well, but I know you well enough,

405
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,120
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, I reckon that would be a mix

406
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,919
Speaker 1: of excitement and terror for you.

407
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 3: Right absolutely. And it was interesting.

408
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,520
Speaker 4: So I remember, like I was listening to that you

409
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 4: either put it into a podcast or on a post.

410
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 4: And I was at the gym, and you know, that's

411
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 4: when I kind of get all of my courage up,

412
00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 4: because you know, I'm lifting heavy for me, and I thought,

413
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 4: I'm just going to ask because you can only say no.

414
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 4: But if I don't ask, then it's no anyway. And

415
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 4: then you came back and actually said, so, Kelly's asked this,

416
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 4: And I was on the cross trainer at this point,

417
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 4: and You're like, give me fifteen questions, and I'm like,

418
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,439
Speaker 4: challenge accepted. I'm typing away while I'm on the cross trainer,

419
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 4: but yeah, you're right, Like it's really.

420
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 3: Pushed me out of my comfort zone.

421
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,640
Speaker 4: And it's so nice to be on this with both

422
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 4: of you because it gives me this opportunity to thank

423
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,720
Speaker 4: you both, because I don't know if you realize like

424
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 4: how much you're both doing for me. Friends are noticing it,

425
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 4: my partner's noticing it. Like I'm far more confident in

426
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 4: just asking questions of my friends and people that I meet.

427
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 4: I still wouldn't push myself out of my comfort zone

428
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 4: and you know, god to a stranger or anything. Like

429
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 4: the conference today, I was still a bit like I

430
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 4: want to talk to you, but you know, I'm still

431
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 4: socially awkward and what if I say the wrong thing?

432
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 4: But in general, yeah, absolutely, it's just been this kind

433
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 4: of inching forward and it's it's yeah, for me, this

434
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 4: has been incredibly brave. So I'm not scared of it anymore.

435
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 4: I'm not talking it down. I'm just absolutely fucking loving it.

436
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh and she's swearing fucking ill that's progress. The

437
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 1: other thing too, is though you know how I say,

438
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 1: the mountain doesn't change, you change, right, the mountains, the mountain.

439
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: The mountains is the same length, same same gradient, same everything.

440
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 1: The mountains the mountain. But the more times we go

441
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 1: to the mountain, you know, we start we're unfit, and

442
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 1: then we keep going back to the mountain and we

443
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: build fitness and we build muscular endurance, and we understand

444
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 1: ourselves more and we build a different relationship with the

445
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 1: mountain and then all of a sudden, the mountain's a

446
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 1: piece of cake, where in reality the mountain ain't any different.

447
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 1: And it's like, in this instance public speaking, the you

448
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 1: project it's probably not a mountain for you. Maybe it

449
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 1: is a mountain, maybe it's a hill. Right, but we're

450
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 1: the same you're doing. You know, you're doing the same

451
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 1: thing that you've done a few other times, but your

452
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 1: level of skill and competence and confidence has evolved because

453
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 1: you wanted to do a certain thing. You wanted to

454
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: climb the metaphoric hill, even though you didn't really have

455
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: the fitness or skill or fundamentals at the start. But

456
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: now you've got more knowledge, you've got more confidence, and competence,

457
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 1: and you've got more fitness for want of a better term. Right,

458
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 1: And that's the thing, is, like, the only real variable

459
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:44,400
Speaker 1: that you can control in a constantly over the course

460
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 1: of your life is yourself. Because most of the shit

461
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: in the world that affects you, that you interact with,

462
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 1: that plays some role on planet you, most of those

463
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 1: you can influence, either not at all or only a

464
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 1: little bit, you know. And so it's your capacity to

465
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 1: navigate life, controlling your variables, your choices, your behaviors, your actions,

466
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: your reaction, your courage, regulating your fear, leaning into your

467
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:21,920
Speaker 1: self awareness, your emotional and social and intellectual kind of intelligence. Right,

468
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 1: that's the thing. It's always about us. Like we think

469
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: we want to build a better life, what we want

470
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: to really build is a better us. Because when there's

471
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: a better me in the middle of my life, my

472
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 1: life is better. But if all of a sudden, my

473
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: life practically is better. I've got five houses, I've got

474
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: twenty cars, I've got all the money I need, I'm

475
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:43,959
Speaker 1: a fucking superstar. I've got a bit, you know. But

476
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 1: I'm in the middle of all of that much better life.

477
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:54,680
Speaker 1: In inverted commas, I'm still the overthinking, anxious, you know, terrified, whatever.

478
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 1: Then my life experience, not my life situation, but my

479
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 1: life experience is shit. So this is the constant for me.

480
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: This is the work. The work is what do you

481
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,199
Speaker 1: need to do? What do you need to do more of?

482
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: What do you need to do less of? I know

483
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,640
Speaker 1: you're scared. I know you overthink. I know you riddled

484
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 1: periodically with self doubt and all that shit. I get it.

485
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 1: And I'm not praising you or criticizing you. I'm just

486
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 1: acknowledging you. And so with all of that in mind, because,

487
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 1: by the way, that's not gonna melt away accidentally. You're

488
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 1: not going to accidentally fucking fall on your feet. You're

489
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: not accidentally gonna succeed. You know, the fucking opportunity fairy

490
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 1: ain't gonna knock on the door like you wouldn't have

491
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 1: got this opportunity if you see it as an opportunity

492
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: unless you initiated it.

493
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, if I hadn't asked it, as I said,

494
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 4: it would have been no anyway.

495
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 1: So you initiated it. You did a pretty good job.

496
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 1: You got another opportunity, did a better job, and that's

497
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not saying beyond here is a fucking

498
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 1: high wall to mark for anything, But here you go.

499
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,479
Speaker 1: I bet there's a bunch of people out there. You know,

500
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 1: I'm not not fifty percent, but there'd be a percentage

501
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 1: of people listening to this thinking I wish I fucking

502
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 1: asked that question. I'd love to be on harps of

503
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 1: show and ask him stuff. But nobody did. Nobody did

504
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 1: you did?

505
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 3: Well, you know what's going to happen tilmorrow week?

506
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,959
Speaker 1: No? No, no, too late, the gates closed. We've already

507
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: got Kelly, although she could be shipped for the rest

508
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 1: of the show, so stand by. No pressure, Yeah, no pressure,

509
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: don't fuck it up, don't jeez all right, where else

510
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: did you want to go? That was good. That was

511
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: a good start. I liked it.

512
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 4: So from this morning's episode, and I did actually take

513
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 4: notes this time.

514
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 3: So you were talking about having the tools.

515
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 4: To deal with like emotional regulation and anxiety and things

516
00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 4: like that, and your comment was, it doesn't matter what

517
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 4: you know about all of that when you're in the

518
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 4: middle of feeling emotionally terrible, and that you know, I

519
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 4: realized that the past couple of times that I've spoken

520
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 4: to you both, I've been quite capable of talking about,

521
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,479
Speaker 4: you know, seeing a shrink and dealing with anxiety across

522
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 4: my life. And that's been because it hasn't been overly

523
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 4: present at the time, and then the past couple of

524
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,959
Speaker 4: weeks it's been it's been there. So I had this

525
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 4: kind of big cause of uncertainty and anxiety removed, and

526
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 4: I'm like, great, you know, happy days.

527
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 3: I can kind of float through this now.

528
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 4: But it kind of gave way to this space in

529
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 4: my brain, in my mind that all of these little

530
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 4: things started popping up, going, hey, now I'm going to

531
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 4: I'm going to be the cause of your anxiety, and

532
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 4: just you know, this kind of spiral.

533
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 3: It's been fun.

534
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 4: But yeah, just to really hit home when you said

535
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 4: it doesn't matter what you know, when you're in the

536
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 4: middle of it, all of that like it kind of

537
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 4: drops away. And so that to me was something I thought, well,

538
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 4: let's have a bit of a chat about that.

539
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I wouldn't say it doesn't matter, but I'm

540
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 1: saying sometimes when you're in the motion, in the middle

541
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 1: of an emotional fucking whirlpool, right, Not that anyone on

542
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: this call, Tiffany Ankle gets in that, No, not at all.

543
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 1: I mean, there have been more than five times where

544
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 1: I have said to Tiff, right, and by the way,

545
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: TIFFs made fucking phenomenal progress, and she's a champ in

546
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 1: her own right. But there's been times when we've been

547
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: talking and I've said to you, I've said, Okay, right

548
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: now is the time when all of the shit that

549
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 1: we talk about theoretically needs to be put into practice,

550
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: you know where. And I'm the same. It's like we

551
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 1: all do this, like do I ever lose my shit? Well,

552
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: not in an angry way, but where I'm in a

553
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 1: bit of an emotional whatever, and we all get in

554
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 1: it and I know what I should be doing, but

555
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 1: in that emotional state, sometimes I can't fucking do it.

556
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 1: I probably can, but in that moment. Now, fortunately that's

557
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: not as many times as it used to be. But

558
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 1: I think the human experience is that, you know, like

559
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: there are like I would know, I need to be

560
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 1: careful how I say this, and I put myself in

561
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: this group. I know at least fifty personal trainers who

562
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: know how to eat, know how to train, know how

563
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 1: to manage their body, know pretty much how to make

564
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: good decisions, all of that, But when they're in a

565
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 1: certain emotional place, they'll eat their own body weight in shit,

566
00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 1: despite the fact that they're quite educated, quite knowledgeable, right,

567
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 1: And so there are times when in the middle of

568
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 1: an emotional whatever, we will reach for something or do

569
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: something even though we know it's not the right thing

570
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 1: to do. Like, we have the intellectual knowledge, but the

571
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: emotion sometimes overwhelms us. Not all the time, but there

572
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 1: are definitely times when we do things that we know

573
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 1: we shouldn't do, and that is driven by emotion, not

574
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: logic and not reason in the moment, and I think

575
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 1: that's just, you know, that's part of the human experience.

576
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: But yeah, there are sometimes when you're really really sad

577
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 1: or really lonely or really anxious, where you're being a

578
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 1: certain way that you know you don't have to be that,

579
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 1: but in a state of emotional overwhelm, it's like, yeah,

580
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: stick your self, help up your ass. I'm just in

581
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: this moment now, And I don't you know, if that's regular,

582
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 1: that's a problem, but I just think that I think

583
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 1: that's everybody. I think we need to give ourselves a

584
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 1: pass sometimes.

585
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's actually something that I've referenced my shrink

586
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:10,720
Speaker 4: a few times.

587
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 3: But she said It's.

588
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 4: Quite common that people who are in the middle of

589
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,879
Speaker 4: a lot of self help and you know, relying on

590
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 4: what she calls like the toolbox, that they almost have

591
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 4: like an exhaustion from doing that. And you just have

592
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 4: to kind of have that time out to say, you

593
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 4: know what, I'm doing the work, but it's okay to

594
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 4: not do all of the work today.

595
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I call them fuck all days. I've done an

596
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 1: episode on it, and I've done posts on you know,

597
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: have a fuck all day? Do fuck all think about

598
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: fuck all? You know, I mean, done it your own

599
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: body weight in pizza, probably, but take your foot off

600
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,800
Speaker 1: the gas a little bit. Maybe. Yeah, I definitely think

601
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: that like the relentless, obsessive ptute of perfection or improvement,

602
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a good thing. I think there's

603
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: got to be wings and roundabouts, and I think, you know,

604
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 1: I think if most of the time you're doing mostly

605
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 1: good things for your body, for your brain, for your relationships,

606
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 1: for your life, then you're probably doing better than most.

607
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 1: And it ain't a competition. But yeah, I think if

608
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 1: you're being honest and brave and self aware, you know,

609
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: self regulation for humans is tough, and like even with

610
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: I mean, you think about Tiff, who's spoken very openly

611
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 1: and bravely about, you know, perimenopause over the last i

612
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 1: don't know, six months or more. Jump in tip five

613
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: fuck any of this up. But I've kind of been

614
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 1: interested in, you know, like I'm a dude, right, so

615
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,759
Speaker 1: we don't. I mean, men have something that's in the

616
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 1: ballpark called andropause, but definitely women have, in my opinion,

617
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: a much harder time. But you know that's I mean,

618
00:35:56,080 --> 00:36:01,439
Speaker 1: that is a hormonal and physiological fucking cess. But it's

619
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,839
Speaker 1: also an emotional shit fest, isn't it.

620
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 2: TIF I was going to say before, the whole idea

621
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 2: of this is not logic either. Like when we're talking

622
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 2: about so you might be talking about anxiety, but when

623
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 2: I think about like some of the conversation's ups and

624
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 2: I have, it would be more an emotional trigger. And

625
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:24,800
Speaker 2: I remember years ago going home to Tazzy and talking

626
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 2: about a time where I just got triggered around mum

627
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 2: and I was in the middle of that. I was

628
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 2: just a petulant little asshole there and I couldn't put

629
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:41,359
Speaker 2: my finger on why, but something in the environment made

630
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 2: me switch to that place, and I knew I was

631
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 2: being a little pig, and I knew I was sorry,

632
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 2: and as soon as I got away from her, I'd

633
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,720
Speaker 2: be able to just reach out and go, I'm really sorry.

634
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 2: I was being a dick. But in that moment, even

635
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 2: what though I was aware of it, my body was

636
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 2: in that state. And that's not logic, and that takes

637
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 2: time to shift, and the time gets closer and closer

638
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 2: between it happening and us being able to come back.

639
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 2: Like the CONVERSATIONSHAPS and I have now, I sat in

640
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 2: spaces where I would get emotionally I was going to

641
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 2: say the word we don't say anymore in the world,

642
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 2: emotionally stilted, and I would know that I've had emotions

643
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 2: and I couldn't interact the way I wanted. But I

644
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 2: also knew that they weren't true and that they weren't

645
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 2: but I didn't know why they were happening, and I

646
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:30,719
Speaker 2: had to figure them out, and I was like, I

647
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 2: don't know how to figure them out, Like I don't

648
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 2: know what to say to you. I have I feel

649
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,359
Speaker 2: like this, but it's not your fault, but it's also

650
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 2: not mine because I'm not choosing it.

651
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I think like I think sometimes

652
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 1: with I mean, you know, Tif and I are friends,

653
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:54,839
Speaker 1: of course, but it's been a mental mentee relationship in

654
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 1: you know, some ways for a long time. And so

655
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: I think and there'd been moments in there our relationship

656
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:05,840
Speaker 1: that have been fucking messy, you know, not horrendous, but

657
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,240
Speaker 1: like a bit clunky, haven't they a bit lumpy and bumpy?

658
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah?

659
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:15,799
Speaker 1: And and miscommunication from the two fucking communicators, and you know,

660
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:22,800
Speaker 1: and definitely Tiff was not always the problem, like equally

661
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: me at least, you know, so it is. I just

662
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 1: think that these like what we're doing right now is

663
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 1: just it's so healthy and it's so great to be

664
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 1: able to go, Yeah, what part of the problem, what

665
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: did I do? Like obviously, when I've pissed Tiff off,

666
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 1: which I have, or she's pissed me off, which she has,

667
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 1: but we're not talking about in a really destructive way.

668
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 1: But it's never been intentional on either way, on either part. Right,

669
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 1: it's just like, oh you did this, I got annoyed,

670
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I didn't even know. I didn't even know.

671
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 1: It's not like I was, I can't, I'm like I

672
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 1: just was somehow was though, you know, But then and

673
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 1: this is again, this is and I'm sorry for fucking

674
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 1: boring anyone. By the way, kel will go to six thirty,

675
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:20,359
Speaker 1: not six twenty as planned. But will you know when

676
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: you open this kind of door? But and I don't

677
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 1: mean in a bullshit way on a fucking podcast where

678
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 1: you're like, oh yeah, sure I do that. Not I

679
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: mean really in the real world, in real life, when

680
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:37,839
Speaker 1: you genuinely try to understand someone else, not agree with them,

681
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 1: not necessarily endorse their ideas, but you try to understand,

682
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,760
Speaker 1: you try to look through their window. And I reckon,

683
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 1: I'm I don't think I'm ace at it, but I'm

684
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 1: pretty good at it. Like with Tiff, I know TIFF's

685
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 1: love language. I know sometimes she'll send me a message

686
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 1: about something, doesn't matter what it is, and I'll answer genuinely.

687
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 1: I'll also answer in a way that I know will

688
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 1: make her feel good and encourage her, because I want

689
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 1: to encourage her. Right and and but being able to

690
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: you know, like I I somebody said to me yesterday

691
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:23,839
Speaker 1: like something like, you've always been intimidating, right, and they

692
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 1: they this is a lady I used to train, right,

693
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 1: and I used to train a whole family, and she goes, oh, no,

694
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 1: we love you. The whole family loves you. In fact,

695
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 1: they came to me to help them solve quite a

696
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 1: big problem, right, And I used to I haven't done

697
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 1: anything with that family for the problem challenge, let's call

698
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 1: it challenge. But anyway, shid oh no, but we're all

699
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 1: fucking scared of you, but we love you, right, And

700
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's so funny. I like, I've never been

701
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:57,280
Speaker 1: anything but nice to them. But they would they would,

702
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 1: you know, when I would say do this, they would

703
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:04,839
Speaker 1: go okay, Like and because when I train people, as

704
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 1: Tiff knows, I'm very look so in this room, in

705
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 1: this scenario, I'm in charge and you're not right. So

706
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you don't matter, doesn't mean I don't

707
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 1: care what you think. But if you want to be

708
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 1: coached by me, then be coached. Like, don't come in

709
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 1: here and argue like, if you want to train yourself,

710
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 1: fucking knock yourself out. But if you want me to

711
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 1: train you, here's what happens. I tell you what to

712
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 1: do for an hour, you give me money, and then

713
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: fuck off. That's the system. So we're not having a conversation, right, Oh,

714
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:47,839
Speaker 1: it's just dawning on me. Why I'm intimidating. No, but

715
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 1: I mean that. I mean that in a fun way,

716
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 1: like we always had fun, We always laugh, we always

717
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:56,359
Speaker 1: talk shit. But anyway, I don't know where the fuck

718
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 1: I was going with that. But oh, we'll talk about emotions.

719
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 1: I've lost my way kel take over. Yeah, it is

720
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:05,800
Speaker 1: to get a better host.

721
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 3: I'm too intimidated.

722
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 4: Now what you were saying just befoughtif and not to

723
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 4: you know, completely bypass your training tactics of scaring the

724
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 4: shit out of people, Craig.

725
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 3: But when you're in the moment of.

726
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 4: Like an emotional regression, which is kind of what I

727
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 4: equate it to, and you kin't of you're going, I

728
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 4: know that this isn't how I want to be. I

729
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 4: know that I've got the tools to literally outthink this,

730
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 4: but there's a part of me that is so overwhelming

731
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 4: in the moment.

732
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 3: I find that quite difficult.

733
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 4: And then I'll just brate myself for it afterwards, going,

734
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:53,920
Speaker 4: you know what, You've come so far, and you've done

735
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,359
Speaker 4: all this work and you know better, and this isn't

736
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 4: who you want to be or where you want to go.

737
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 4: Why did you let this happen? And Yeah, I find

738
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 4: that still to be quite challenging.

739
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 2: I've talked about once, like I think like they're hurt

740
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 2: buttons right, and for me recognizing, okay, what like what

741
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,719
Speaker 2: I need? What did I need? Or do I need?

742
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 2: What is a part of me need? Once we went

743
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 2: I went to dinner.

744
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 3: With Dad and.

745
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 2: We got our curry and they didn't bring the rice

746
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 2: and we'd already eat so no, I'm not hungry because

747
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 2: we've already eaten our entrees and we're about five minutes

748
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 2: pass us. They don't bring the rice, and Dad's over

749
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 2: here for a holiday, and I just go bang and

750
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 2: I'm wild and I can't even keep talking because I'm like,

751
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 2: I don't know why it's so hard just to get

752
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 2: the rice out of the rice warm it's over there.

753
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 2: It was my I don't matter button. And I talked

754
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 2: about it with doctor Bill and he's like, well, what

755
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,760
Speaker 2: did you need to know? I'm like, well, I hardly

756
00:43:54,800 --> 00:44:00,080
Speaker 2: think that the waitress needs to deal with my emotional ineptity.

757
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:01,720
Speaker 3: But then a few days.

758
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,440
Speaker 2: Later I was like, okay, but I need to do

759
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 2: something that tells whatever part of me needed to be

760
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 2: seen to they needed to be seen, Like I'm just

761
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 2: you don't have to yell at them, but maybe just

762
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 2: ask for the rights or address it in some way.

763
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:18,839
Speaker 2: So I think unpacking it and going what is what

764
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 2: might the thing be, and what might I need? And

765
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:25,439
Speaker 2: if it happens next time, what might some one thing

766
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 2: be that I could try? Because it happens less now

767
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:33,359
Speaker 2: every time someone was late Harps. If Harps didn't show

768
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:36,400
Speaker 2: up until two minutes before a guest arrived on the

769
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 2: podcast in the early days, that was most of my

770
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 2: issue back then. And I because I was like, oh,

771
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 2: he doesn't want to talk to me. I'm just a

772
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,319
Speaker 2: cog in the machine. He doesn't even like he just

773
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 2: turns up for that. You know. I'm here, I'm excited,

774
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 2: I'm finally out of the bamboo and I'm gone on

775
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 2: the typ podcast just like you are. And he'd rock

776
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 2: in five minutes before because he's just come out of

777
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:01,360
Speaker 2: a bloody meeting. But my story was and I couldn't

778
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,760
Speaker 2: pull myself out of that nacky little funk.

779
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 3: I've never told Harps.

780
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 1: That that's so interesting. I didn't know that. Yeah, the

781
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:13,839
Speaker 1: funny thing was I was actually avoiding you, so that's

782
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 1: that's fair. Of course I wasn't that's that is so interesting.

783
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 1: Oh wow, hell, I've got a question for you. Sure,

784
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 1: why do you want to do this? Like, yeah, why

785
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: do you want to? I'm glad you are by the way,

786
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 1: you're good at it, and there's certainly adding value, Like

787
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 1: what is it that you get from doing this?

788
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 3: I really enjoy it, And.

789
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 4: There's I've always felt this need to be creative, and

790
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 4: I've always been so I you know, my overall goal

791
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 4: I would like to write, and I do write, but

792
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 4: I feel like there's a novel like inside of me somewhere.

793
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 4: But I'm also very impatient. So the time that it

794
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 4: takes to sit and write a novel, as you know,

795
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 4: to write a book, like you're giving up and dedicating

796
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 4: so much time. Well you're not giving up. You're working

797
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:15,720
Speaker 4: towards something, and you're dedicating so much time towards something

798
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 4: that you really want. But I am incredibly impatient, and

799
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 4: so I've been looking for other avenues of well, how

800
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 4: can I be creative?

801
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,880
Speaker 3: That's almost like it's.

802
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 4: Instant, But then with this it's been I'm finding that

803
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 4: personally it's a lot of growth, Like I feel for

804
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 4: the first time probably ever, a bit of confidence and

805
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 4: I'm not saying that, you know, in any kind of

806
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 4: egotistical you know, here's my head swelling kind of way.

807
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:56,240
Speaker 4: But I do feel a bit of confidence and that's nice,

808
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 4: and it's it's allowing me to work towards where I

809
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 4: want to be and who I want to be, which

810
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 4: I'm feeling is like it's a new version of me,

811
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 4: and potentially it was always there, but I've always been

812
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 4: far too scared to embrace or work towards it.

813
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 1: So yeah, like what's the long game for you? Like,

814
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 1: is there an end goal or a long game, or

815
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: it's just to have the experience and have some fun

816
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 1: and develop some skills and gain some insight, or is

817
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 1: there a bigger picture goal.

818
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 4: At the moment, I'm really enjoying the experience and I've

819
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 4: been to two conferences this year and watch the people

820
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,880
Speaker 4: on stage, and for the first time ever, I've thought

821
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:50,200
Speaker 4: that could potentially be me, Like I could maybe do that.

822
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 4: So that's I think the next challenge that I'll set

823
00:47:55,040 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 4: for myself. I've got a presentation at work next week

824
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 4: to the senior leaders, and that's my first kind of

825
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 4: you know obstacle of getting up and you know, presenting

826
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:12,240
Speaker 4: my work too. I think it's about six people, and I'm.

827
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 3: Not overly scared of that.

828
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 4: It's still kind of like, oh shit, well, you know,

829
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:18,840
Speaker 4: it's the focus will be on me, so that's a

830
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 4: little bit terrifying. But No, today I was watching the

831
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 4: presenter and she was incredible. She just had this really

832
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 4: nice pace. She was very intelligent and very good at

833
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 4: her job. She didn't actively say, hey, I'm good at

834
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,720
Speaker 4: my job, but in the way that she was speaking

835
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:42,360
Speaker 4: and what she was presenting, you could very clearly see that,

836
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 4: and I thought, you know, maybe one day it could

837
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 4: be could be me and you know, my colleagues on

838
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 4: that stage presenting work that we've done, because I think

839
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 4: we do good work for good people and it'd be

840
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:53,759
Speaker 4: great to share that.

841
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:58,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I Mean, here's the thing about speakers, like

842
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:03,799
Speaker 1: I've seen, I've probably seen I don't know how many,

843
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 1: but a lot of speakers on stages because I go,

844
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 1: you know, like tomorrow, I'll see another speaker or two

845
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:13,319
Speaker 1: that I've never seen and never met, and so I'm

846
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: constantly being exposed to people who get on stage and

847
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 1: talk for a living. And the beauty of it is

848
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 1: there are so many different kinds of humans who get

849
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 1: up there who was totally different from the person before,

850
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 1: and they're both good. It's like they're like, I have

851
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,439
Speaker 1: my way of doing things, and depending on the day,

852
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 1: usually i'm somewhere between oh, not terrible and okay, And

853
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 1: then you get up someone else who's just the opposite

854
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 1: of me, and they're real good like but they don't

855
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:50,399
Speaker 1: they're not a storyteller, they're not cheeky, they don't walk

856
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 1: to the edge of the stage and engage the audience.

857
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:57,240
Speaker 1: They don't do all the bullshit I do. But they're mesmerizing,

858
00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:00,759
Speaker 1: you know. That's the beauty is there's no it's like,

859
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,760
Speaker 1: there's no best kind of art. There's just a myriad

860
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 1: of art. You know. That's not like, oh, what's the

861
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: best music? You go like, that's it dumb because there's

862
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 1: so many different kinds of music that are beautiful. And

863
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, that's exactly it. The Tiff just pointed

864
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,719
Speaker 1: to the box of the album by Mark Simour, of

865
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 1: which she's proudly adorning the front best music what self

866
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 1: esteem issues? None? But I love that. But yeah, and

867
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 1: I think public speaking is for me, it's much more

868
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 1: of a creative process, well for me anyway. Right. It's

869
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 1: like the intersection of information, creativity, and even entertainment. You

870
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,279
Speaker 1: know where you've got to you don't have to. But

871
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:56,279
Speaker 1: I always think, Okay, so I know some stuff I've

872
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 1: got to talk tomorrow. For now, I've got to talk

873
00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 1: from nine to ten to ten ten in the morning.

874
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:04,879
Speaker 1: Opening keynote, I go, sure, So I know a lot

875
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 1: of stuff. You know, well, of all there is to know,

876
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:10,919
Speaker 1: I know fuck all. But I know more than enough

877
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 1: to talk for an hour, and I know some stuff

878
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:17,839
Speaker 1: that's pretty fascinating and interesting. But the real question is

879
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 1: can I get up there with great energy, build an experience,

880
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 1: read the room, create connection, tell a funny story, share

881
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 1: some great ideas and information, and maybe a bit of

882
00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 1: science and maybe a bit of oh fuck, listen to

883
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 1: those statistics, maybe a bit of that, And then can

884
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 1: I create something that then becomes a catalyst for action

885
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 1: and real world results. Like that's how I think about it,

886
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 1: whereas a lot of people completely understandably would be can

887
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 1: I get up there and say what I've got to

888
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:53,320
Speaker 1: say without fucking it up? Like that's that's the extent

889
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 1: of there, which you know, I get it, I get it,

890
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,840
Speaker 1: But over time you just become you know, I know

891
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 1: I can get up and talk for an now that's

892
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 1: not the issue. I want it to be great for

893
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:08,600
Speaker 1: them though, you know, like my goal is when I finish,

894
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:11,920
Speaker 1: my main goal is that they go that was great.

895
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:15,239
Speaker 1: He's great. I would like to hear him again. That's it,

896
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 1: you know, in terms of my personal goals, But in

897
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,840
Speaker 1: terms of goals for them, I hope that it opens

898
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 1: a door on something that for them is potentially transformational

899
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,239
Speaker 1: moving forward. You know.

900
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:30,359
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've got a question. Do you prefer to

901
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 2: be the opening or closing keynote?

902
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 1: Definitely opening?

903
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 3: Why?

904
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:40,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, because everyone's in their best energy, everyone's tired at

905
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: the end of the day, start of the day, everyone's

906
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 1: a bit pumped. And for me anyway, like I like

907
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:53,200
Speaker 1: being the opening keynote, setting up the day, you know,

908
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 1: and hopefully creating a good experience out of the gate

909
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: for people. But having said that, I'm I'll talk anywhere.

910
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 1: Like sometimes I I would the worst spot to speak, well,

911
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:10,399
Speaker 1: I'm going to let you guess when's the worst time

912
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 1: of day to speak as a speaker. There's actually, as

913
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:20,239
Speaker 1: a professional speaker, there's two times. One you definitely don't

914
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 1: want to fucking speak. It's a fucking nightmare. The other

915
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 1: one is it's not that bad, but it's you know,

916
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 1: it's close. So what do you what do you think?

917
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:33,880
Speaker 1: People never think about this understandably.

918
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 4: Well, having been just at a conference today, I would

919
00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 4: dare say before or after lunch?

920
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:45,200
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, so after lunch, because people are people's brain

921
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 1: function goes down after they eat. They're a bit more tired,

922
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,480
Speaker 1: they're a bit more dopey, they're a bit more laid back,

923
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:56,440
Speaker 1: they're not you know. So, but before lunch also is

924
00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:59,560
Speaker 1: not great. After lunch, I mean, it is what it is,

925
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 1: you know, But I try and bring if I do

926
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:06,399
Speaker 1: an after lunch thing, I'm very mindful of that. The

927
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:13,319
Speaker 1: worst ever is talking during a dinner where they have

928
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:16,759
Speaker 1: a dinner and you are the speaker, and while you

929
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:20,879
Speaker 1: are speaking, there are fucking people walking around the room

930
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:25,239
Speaker 1: handing out dinners, and people at table going, Kelly, can

931
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 1: you pass me the salt tiff? How's the chicken? What's it?

932
00:54:30,239 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 1: And fucking Harps is up there trying to inspire the

933
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 1: masses that are fucking preoccupied with their fucking chicken parma

934
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 1: or whatever it is.

935
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,240
Speaker 2: Well, you ain't no what I feel it halps, So.

936
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 1: I say, definitely, I'd tell you.

937
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 3: What I know where my attention would be.

938
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:52,040
Speaker 1: Kell. Have you got one quick last question or are

939
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 1: we done and dusted up to you? I'm good either way.

940
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 4: One quick last question and this is going back to

941
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:00,400
Speaker 4: what we were talking about earlier.

942
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:02,400
Speaker 3: I'm wondering, and it's just for both of you.

943
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:06,320
Speaker 4: Is there something that you're scared of at the moment

944
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 4: that you're going to do anyway?

945
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:16,040
Speaker 1: Oh scared, I'm I'm just for me, like the next

946
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 1: few months of my I apologize for talking about it,

947
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 1: but it's just what's preoccupying my life at the moment,

948
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 1: just my PhD, like handing in. I'm scared, like I've

949
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:28,680
Speaker 1: got to submit in a few months, which is handing

950
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 1: all my work. Yeah, so it's I'm not scared terrified,

951
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 1: but I'm like, oh, this is this is And every

952
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 1: time I do something i'm I feel like obviously I'm not,

953
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:44,120
Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm out of my depth. And

954
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 1: but the funny thing is, in terms of my area

955
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 1: of research, you know, metacognition, metaperception, you know, meta accuracy,

956
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 1: all that kind of understanding how others think theory of

957
00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 1: mind and understanding how others think about us met a perception.

958
00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:59,840
Speaker 1: There's probably not a lot of people in Australia that

959
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 1: a lot more about it than me, to be honest,

960
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,800
Speaker 1: just because I've just studied it for six years straight.

961
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 1: But I you know, but I still feel like I'm

962
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:13,560
Speaker 1: not the academic that all the others are, you know.

963
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 1: So there's that. But I'll plow on, tiff, what about

964
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:19,400
Speaker 1: you once?

965
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 2: I'm doing a speaking course, and speaking always puts me

966
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 2: in a bit of a tears. I'm always quite nervous beforehand,

967
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:30,640
Speaker 2: as Harpers as well aware, but love it. But this

968
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:35,960
Speaker 2: is scary because within it, I've had to create frameworks

969
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,760
Speaker 2: and try things that aren't the way I do things.

970
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:43,719
Speaker 2: And I want to do that to its entirety before

971
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 2: I bin any of it just because it's not me,

972
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 2: just because it's not the way I work. So that's

973
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 2: scary because hopefully, hopefully I'll be able to do it

974
00:56:54,880 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 2: as a speaker at the end of year event, because

975
00:56:57,600 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 2: a small number of us will be which means I'll

976
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 2: be doing that in front of a hundreds of people,

977
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 2: and I will be really scared of that.

978
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 1: You know. What's the good thing about that? Forew I

979
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:13,480
Speaker 1: reckon is because as you so you have you have

980
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 1: a certain way of presenting, and you are a storyteller.

981
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: You're cheeky, you're a bit freestyle, you're a bit loosey goosey,

982
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 1: and they're going, yeah, we want you to do the

983
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 1: opposite of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we want you to

984
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:34,439
Speaker 1: leave that room and come into this room where, yeah,

985
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:36,480
Speaker 1: you can still tell your stories and stuff, but it's

986
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:40,360
Speaker 1: quite formulaic, it's quite structured, it's quite process driven.

987
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 4: You know.

988
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:45,160
Speaker 1: It's yeah, I completely and I've said to you, I

989
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 1: think it's even if you even if you only take

990
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:52,240
Speaker 1: or incorporate a little bit of that, eventually, you know,

991
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:56,720
Speaker 1: it's still great to learn another way because there'll be

992
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 1: stuff that you do take out of that that becomes

993
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 1: intertwined with your normal operating system in that space.

994
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 2: Well, there's stuff that's come from it that even if

995
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 2: I if I try it and then I go, I

996
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 2: don't like speaking in that way, I'm going back to

997
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 2: how I've always done it. I've already learned stuff that

998
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 2: are transferable skills. It's changed the whole learning and content

999
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:22,600
Speaker 2: development process for me. And I think that happens when

1000
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:26,000
Speaker 2: we do things that scare us. They always change us

1001
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 2: in ways we don't expect or think, and it's stepping

1002
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 2: into scary stuff that gives us those things. And when

1003
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 2: we don't do what we miss out.

1004
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:41,120
Speaker 1: M Hey, before we go. This is completely fucking random

1005
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:47,520
Speaker 1: and left field to everything we've spoken about. So Nova

1006
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 1: asked me to do a ad for the U Project

1007
00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:56,040
Speaker 1: for Radio right, there's already one that circulates. So they said,

1008
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 1: do you want to because we're gonna we're going to

1009
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 1: advertise your show across I think smooth and over, which

1010
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 1: I think is the say I should fucking know, shouldn't I? Yeah,

1011
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 1: do better? Harps shout out to the sponsors, of course,

1012
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:13,440
Speaker 1: who I love the shows, the stations anyway, they said,

1013
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:17,720
Speaker 1: So I wrote a new ad for today which they

1014
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:19,720
Speaker 1: haven't got yet. So I want to read it to you,

1015
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 1: and I want you to tell me if it's shit

1016
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:27,800
Speaker 1: or okay, you ready? I could fuck it up. I'm

1017
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: Craig Harper, host of The You Project, one of Australia's

1018
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 1: longest running podcasts, exploring the wonders and weirdness of human behavior, mind, body, emotion,

1019
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 1: all the human stuff. Unlike some of the more self

1020
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 1: helpy magic Pilly Quick FIXI Psychobabbly Podcasts. We're a little more.

1021
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 1: Roll up your sleeves, stop wasting your potential, get your

1022
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:50,919
Speaker 1: ship together, and stop waiting for the mystical, magical right time.

1023
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 1: And yes, I said ship, You're welcome the You Project.

1024
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:58,440
Speaker 1: Take a listen. What do you think? I love it?

1025
00:59:59,000 --> 00:59:59,520
Speaker 3: That's great?

1026
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 1: Is it okay?

1027
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:02,280
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1028
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:04,880
Speaker 1: You know, you know when you look at your own

1029
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 1: ship and you're like, I think that's okay, but it

1030
01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 1: could be fucking terrible. Oh good, Now, do you two

1031
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 1: actually like it or you're just being nice to me.

1032
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 2: I'm just being nice on air.

1033
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:17,080
Speaker 3: It's absolutely rid us awful.

1034
01:00:18,760 --> 01:00:21,560
Speaker 1: Fucking Tucker. All right, Well back in therapy for fat

1035
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 1: so Tiff get stuffed and Kel that's your last episode.

1036
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 1: Fuck you both. All right, Thanks everyone that's been to

1037
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 1: you project. Nah, just kidding, just kidding. Thanks Kel. That

1038
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:40,040
Speaker 1: was great. You were great. Tiff, you were not quite

1039
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 1: as great, but you're good.

1040
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:46,960
Speaker 3: You know my buttons now.

1041
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:50,439
Speaker 1: But you're both better than me, so that's the main thing.

1042
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:54,960
Speaker 1: All Right, we'll talk off air, but Kelly, thank you, Tiff,

1043
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:55,240
Speaker 1: thank

1044
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:57,880
Speaker 3: You, thank you, thank you.