Speaker 1: Get in the morning every day.
Speaker 2: Lad, your father, he's on the money. Listen, Jody six
Speaker 2: nothing not. Sometimes you just go, do you know what?
Speaker 2: To hell with it? I'm going to be just a
Speaker 2: little bit of extra blues. Yeah, because can't do it
Speaker 2: after seven o'clock, So this is the space to do it.
Speaker 2: Get it out of your system, Joe.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to argue with you. Nick meat what
Speaker 1: you got.
Speaker 2: Sometimes these stories just float across my desk, or do
Speaker 2: I find them. Sometimes we meet in the middle. Here's
Speaker 2: one for you. A Dutch Man was hospitalized after inserting
Speaker 2: fifteen I said, fifteen hard boiled eggs into his erectum
Speaker 2: while under the influence of drugs. Let's see what what
Speaker 2: have I always said about the Dutch?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, to all the Dutch people out there, stop
Speaker 2: using your rectum as a storage facility. It's not supposed
Speaker 2: to be used for that. The man experienced of the
Speaker 2: abdominal pain, leading to emergency surgery to remove the egg,
Speaker 2: which had caused intestinal tears. Doctors successfully treated him and
Speaker 2: despite the very unusual situation, the patient recovered without further complications.
Speaker 2: Suit of an extreme activity. If you know what I
Speaker 2: mean extreme.
Speaker 1: I know I got it. I thought, oh, I mean,
Speaker 1: if you could, to be fair, I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: think this about this in a t sense because I've
Speaker 1: brought an egg dispenser from there. Once it sort of
Speaker 1: shoots it out at the bottom of so I mean,
Speaker 1: the concept itself isn't bad. It could be fairly decent
Speaker 1: egg dispenser if you can keep the egg intact.
Speaker 2: Don't you think that's the big issue though hard boiled
Speaker 2: eggs probably is the normal eggs to keep intact. But
Speaker 2: when you got fifteen there as well, that's more than
Speaker 2: a doesn't Yeah, great effort. I'm not sure what maximum
Speaker 2: capacity is up there. I would have thought for me personally,
Speaker 2: i'd be sort of pushing six. I reckon, let alone
Speaker 2: a full dozen. But once again, we've always said that
Speaker 2: about the Dutch, very good at storing multiple eggs in
Speaker 2: their rectums.
Speaker 1: I never thought I'd see the day when I'd come
Speaker 1: into work and have a discussion about how many hard
Speaker 1: bold x you get up.
Speaker 2: The broader question as well, Jones is third and twenty
Speaker 2: four ten. What have you? What have you accidentally stored
Speaker 2: in your recon It happens all the time, Whether it's
Speaker 2: a passion piece. Or you've just got no storage space
Speaker 2: at home, so tome on these days space can be very,
Speaker 2: very scarce. You got any ideas third angey fourteen which
Speaker 2: you've stored up there, or send us a text four
Speaker 2: double O nine.
Speaker 1: No we're not.
Speaker 2: We'll go first an ACRA.
Speaker 1: For the uninitiated. That's the award Crazy World last weekend
Speaker 1: for being the best newcomer.
Speaker 2: It's up there. There's not much there's not much other
Speaker 2: space in there, but that's a passion pace by the
Speaker 2: way you put it there. That was nice weekend. Jones. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we had my brother in law's birthday party on Saturdays,
Speaker 2: like a birthday lunch. But it was really good. Actually,
Speaker 2: get a little bit loose on my end. A couple
Speaker 2: of these turned a couple of Rose's, and all of
Speaker 2: a sudden there were water bombs involved as well. The
Speaker 2: kids got competitive.
Speaker 1: I wasn't in a restaurant.
Speaker 2: I wasn't a restaurant. Was at my mother in law's place.
Speaker 2: But a couple of the Hayes kids started crying, which
Speaker 2: has been and then Dad took personally, and then it
Speaker 2: was just a mixture, just a mixture of all sorts
Speaker 2: of different emotions on the way up though. Just before
Speaker 2: we went up there, actually I had to take Lottie
Speaker 2: to the supermarket to get some things and we had
Speaker 2: a very very interesting conversation and she was speaking to
Speaker 2: me about how I work a lot, that she wished
Speaker 2: I didn't work as much, which was really nice to
Speaker 2: make you a little bit sad. But then also she said,
Speaker 2: well when Sonny and Henry, my two sons six and four,
Speaker 2: when they turn into adults, they can go work with you.
Speaker 1: Oh that's nice.
Speaker 2: Nice, or here, that's really nice. Who knows up to them?
Speaker 2: And then I said, Lottie, what about you? Are you
Speaker 2: going to work? And she said, what are you talking about?
Speaker 2: I'm a girl. Girls don't work? Oh my okay, right,
Speaker 2: so then we had to have this beautiful little conversation
Speaker 2: with them. Well, actually, lotty girls very much do work, yes,
Speaker 2: And guess what, when you're old enough and established in school, yeah,
Speaker 2: mum's going to be working here as well.
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly.
Speaker 2: So then we started. I just love the innocence of youngsters,
Speaker 2: in particular toddlers talking about things.
Speaker 1: Well, to be fair, that's all she's known. She's had
Speaker 1: a stay at home mum, her whole little life for
Speaker 1: four years. So that's understandable. But I'm going to need
Speaker 1: a good twenty twenty five minutes in a room with you,
Speaker 1: a little Lotti, just to explain a few things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, take her through your work schedule, yes, exactly what
Speaker 2: it's like. Yeah, and then I like speaking to her.
Speaker 2: I said, look, you will have to work. Yep, that's
Speaker 2: what's going to happen. And you need to work out
Speaker 2: what sort of job that you'd try and like to.
Speaker 1: Do, did you?
Speaker 2: And then just the four year old's view of the
Speaker 2: world of her job she said, I said, what do
Speaker 2: you like? What are your passions? What are your passions? Lotty?
Speaker 2: She said, well, I really like barbies and I really
Speaker 2: like watching soccer. Oh so maybe I could watch soccer
Speaker 2: with my barbies. Yes, so that's going to be Lott's job,
Speaker 2: that keeping tabs on the local soccer match with her barbies.
Speaker 2: And you're getting paid for it.
Speaker 1: What sort of salary range?
Speaker 2: I don't know if the salary range is on seek.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's probably a touch more than what
Speaker 1: a dad's earning.
Speaker 2: Here, that's true. Actually that's better than that job at
Speaker 2: SCN going Oh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, so many perks though free beers on a
Speaker 1: Friday night and then it went free. You just took
Speaker 1: the liberties.
Speaker 2: That's okay. I assumed it was part of the package.
Speaker 2: Sure made it just a little bit more Worthwhile.
Speaker 3: A huge summer of cricket is here on KOs sports
Speaker 3: to see every full live on board and download sports.
Speaker 2: Today, I cannot wait but tell Australia takes on India
Speaker 2: and to tell us all about it is the one,
Speaker 2: the only I'm almost living out a childhood dream here
Speaker 2: by speaking to the one and only bread Leg.
Speaker 4: Good morning, good morning, warning to you.
Speaker 1: I had a KO disaster yesterday because well, I went
Speaker 1: to the thirty six is to the basketball to watch
Speaker 1: them get the job done against the Juck Jumpers. And
Speaker 1: it was my plan to go home and watch the
Speaker 1: Diamonds on KO because you can do it on demand
Speaker 1: whenever you want. And then my co host over here
Speaker 1: text me and said, oh, just doing a thing on
Speaker 1: the Diamonds. They were awful, so.
Speaker 4: Oh no spoil it, yes.
Speaker 1: Spoiler spoiler alert, thank you very much.
Speaker 2: Being We're spoken about this before. Apart from an ASHES
Speaker 2: series next year, Australia, the India is just as good
Speaker 2: as it gets just before we talk about this, mate,
Speaker 2: can I ask you what was it like playing against India?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was trying to work out yesterday. I think
Speaker 4: I've been in India. Well, it's been thirty years, one
Speaker 4: hundred and sixty five, give or take times five passports.
Speaker 4: Just an incredible place to tour. You know, the conditions
Speaker 4: are hot, hard, you know, it's nothing really in the
Speaker 4: week for fast bowlers. But the one thing is that
Speaker 4: the hospitality over there is amazing. So we ought to
Speaker 4: make sure they went India coming out to Australia this
Speaker 4: year that can reciprocate that and give them some love
Speaker 4: and certainly won't be in love on the cricket field.
Speaker 4: I can definitely assure you of that. But yeah, it's
Speaker 4: going to be going to be massive because we get
Speaker 4: a huge crowd, not only in Adelaide but MCG and
Speaker 4: obviously my home test d STG. A lot of my
Speaker 4: mates who are Indian heritage, they all wear green and
Speaker 4: gold when we're playing someone else. But I'll promise you
Speaker 4: at in you come out, they've got the blue shirts on.
Speaker 1: Do you like to slip out the back when you're
Speaker 1: head here to Adelaide Because I think almost everyone does
Speaker 1: at some point.
Speaker 4: Well, Adelaide to me, I mean I used to live
Speaker 4: at Adelaide, used to live at at Henley Beach, at
Speaker 4: the Cricket Academy back in the day or yeah. I
Speaker 4: always loved I always loved God Adelaide. And you know,
Speaker 4: I think that when you play the Test matches down there,
Speaker 4: whether it's the day night Test with the pink ball
Speaker 4: or just the normal Test matches, Adelaide is such a
Speaker 4: beautiful place to tour. It's the big event when the
Speaker 4: Adelaid Test comes on, the whole the whole city gets
Speaker 4: out and you know, back to the strailing cricket team.
Speaker 4: But yeah, you're sort of hanging at the back. And
Speaker 4: I remember in a dress room with warning. Warne would
Speaker 4: never watch the cricket watching out the back over the course.
Speaker 4: I can't make you to get in bulb seorie.
Speaker 2: Are the most important thing.
Speaker 1: I was going to ask who was in your year
Speaker 1: at the Cricket Academy were you were you there with warning? No?
Speaker 4: Jason Allspie, Yeah, I was there with Dizzy. And it's
Speaker 4: actually funny that Jason Gillespie, he's bowling about one hundred
Speaker 4: and twenty five k's and then overnight, he slipped the
Speaker 4: switch and he ended up bowling high one forties early
Speaker 4: one fifties. So that definitely worked for him under the
Speaker 4: great guidance of the late great Rod marsh Yeah, who
Speaker 4: was our coach for a couple of years.
Speaker 2: Can I just a quick question? Was that? Was that
Speaker 2: an instant like technique change or what was that?
Speaker 1: Oh? Hello, this got real.
Speaker 4: Well we can talk about Gatner rotation, higher extensions, quadl
Speaker 4: in the morning and turning if you want to go
Speaker 4: to the layman said the easy, easy option.
Speaker 1: That's a good break because I wanted to go back
Speaker 1: to sleep, so exactly. Now, that's a job.
Speaker 2: That was a joke. That's a job, job, horrible job.
Speaker 2: Bit of humor, little injection of humor, just to ease you, madge,
Speaker 2: what he is probably going to be for one working week.
Speaker 1: A little bit of ulmer to start your day.
Speaker 2: All right? Who would like to go first this morning?
Speaker 2: What about you producers? I want you to kick us off
Speaker 2: and go first.
Speaker 5: Big weekend. Did you hear about the cheese factory that
Speaker 5: exploded in France? There was nothing left but debris are Yeah.
Speaker 2: Nice cheese fans, Thanks guys, I'm I going next. So
Speaker 2: I had a really stern conversation with my cat on
Speaker 2: the weekend. I said, that's it. I'm going to try
Speaker 2: and do my best to teach you some English. He
Speaker 2: said me, how.
Speaker 5: That's so.
Speaker 1: A second. It took a whole minute.
Speaker 2: It was twenty.
Speaker 1: There were some fascinating rumors that I heard over the
Speaker 1: weekend about you, Andrew Hay.
Speaker 2: Oh, my very goodness, very strange.
Speaker 1: I heard that You're Willy got inducted into the Guinness
Speaker 1: Book of Records. Yes, and then the librarian said, you
Speaker 1: need to get that out, sir.
Speaker 2: Every single time, start frustrated.
Speaker 1: Started first, my god, he's in Aisle four with his
Speaker 1: Willy in the book again.
Speaker 2: Each and every day, Joe's since last week, there's more
Speaker 2: and more information coming to hand in regards to Liam Payne.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so just a bit of an update. Of course,
Speaker 1: he passed away when he plunged to his death last
Speaker 1: week from a hotel room in Bornas Areas, and obviously
Speaker 1: it was a drug filled and alcohol fuelled day and
Speaker 1: there is so much going around about what happened. But
Speaker 1: this was a bit of a bombshell. So apparently Liam
Speaker 1: Payne's girlfriend Kate Cassidy left two days before he died,
Speaker 1: and she documented that on social media. It was like
Speaker 1: a heavy thing. Hey travel back to Florida with me,
Speaker 1: and then she videoed her whole journey first class and
Speaker 1: all that. But in the two days after she left, apparently,
Speaker 1: and this is according to news dot com, Liam was
Speaker 1: reportedly partying with sex workers before his death and she
Speaker 1: has now obviously seen that as a huge betrayal, so
Speaker 1: that she's a bit of a bombshell. And he was
Speaker 1: in the lobby and someone has come out and said
Speaker 1: he was having an argument with one of the girls.
Speaker 1: And he said, I will give you twenty thousand dollars
Speaker 1: because I'm worth he said fifty five million US, which
Speaker 1: is about eighty three million in Australian and I like
Speaker 1: to help people. So there was a bit going on.
Speaker 2: It's going to be so much extra information that's going
Speaker 2: to emerge.
Speaker 4: It.
Speaker 1: I just feel like I feel like someone should have
Speaker 1: called an ambulance earlier than you know, Like he collapsed
Speaker 1: in the lobby that day, so I don't know why
Speaker 1: this hotel didn't get him some medical help.
Speaker 2: Sorry, he collapsed in the lobby and then went up
Speaker 2: to his room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, correct, That was a
Speaker 2: big morning sign.
Speaker 1: They're also investigating two of the hotel workers who were
Speaker 1: hoardedly smuggled in some pretty hard drugs for him as well.
Speaker 2: It going on unbelievable situation. But each and every day
Speaker 2: there we knew bits that come to life. Oh totally,
Speaker 2: she's going to be Yeah, it's just a crazy, crazy situation.
Speaker 1: It's a bit bad for his family and his son
Speaker 1: and who will not get any privacy whatsoever in the
Speaker 1: wake of all of this. And of course TMZ have
Speaker 1: had a big rap over the knuckles because someone sent
Speaker 1: them a photo of his body and they chose to
Speaker 1: print it, which can you remember I saw it on
Speaker 1: the day and I said, oh my god, TMZ bosted
Speaker 1: this photo, which is so completely unethical.
Speaker 2: What will be staggering is how much money they paid
Speaker 2: for that photo. That would be mind blowing. I thought, absolutely,
Speaker 2: all right, let's go in a much different direction, shall
Speaker 2: we go on? What about this? And this could be
Speaker 2: pointed at someone in particular in the Mitcham Council area.
Speaker 2: A Mitcham resident is set to return from their holiday
Speaker 2: to a very very interesting surprise after they missed a
Speaker 2: memo to move their park card before roadworks commenced on
Speaker 2: their street, so, according to a lool, these particular locals
Speaker 2: jetted off before receiving notice that new bitchmen would be laid,
Speaker 2: resulting in their pergo ending up on its own accidental
Speaker 2: island get away. Oh, that's just an unfortunate situation. The
Speaker 2: stationary vehicle left road workers with no choice as they
Speaker 2: were forced to lay fresh bitchmen around the perimeter of
Speaker 2: the car.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: So it's just got his own little nasty cement space
Speaker 2: and it's beautiful bitchmen perfectly laid around this pergo. Wow,
Speaker 2: like it's there on purpose, Like it's its own designated space.
Speaker 1: Hasn't it left its mark that pergo? Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: when you're a kid and you see some wet cement
Speaker 1: and you're like, I'm gonna put my initials in that
Speaker 1: similar sort of thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna put my car there. Oh, and then
Speaker 2: you've just got that embarrassing thing. Where and what time
Speaker 2: do you go get your car? You're like, God, no
Speaker 2: one can see me getting into this car, and you're like, hey,
Speaker 2: how are you nice? Work with the car? Thanks for that.
Speaker 1: Check your phone. Check the last message from your partner.
Speaker 1: If you are indeed in a relationship because at some
Speaker 1: point we switch from love us to logistics and it
Speaker 1: just becomes those mundane details that you have to discuss
Speaker 1: with your partner. It's unavoidable. And then sometimes like I do,
Speaker 1: I go, oh my god, who are we?
Speaker 2: Where's the passion?
Speaker 1: Where is the passion?
Speaker 2: Where that it dripped off to?
Speaker 1: May I give you an example. This was this morning.
Speaker 2: Because your husband, by the way, is a passionate man.
Speaker 2: He's just chock a block full of passion it out
Speaker 2: of his pores.
Speaker 1: Oh god, I couldn't get a word out of him
Speaker 1: on the weekend because the ice hockey season started again,
Speaker 1: the NHL and I have discuss I just sat in
Speaker 1: the couch with him. I was eating my breakfast. I'm
Speaker 1: just going to go and sit outside like absolute donuts.
Speaker 2: From the man, I've forgot to specify he's passionate about ice.
Speaker 1: Wam yes, correct? So this was this morning. What are
Speaker 1: you doing? From him? I'm like, I'm working you and
Speaker 1: he says babysitting. I go your own children, And he said, yes,
Speaker 1: that's correct.
Speaker 2: Yeah's good. Now that that is a conversation of a
Speaker 2: couple who were very very well established.
Speaker 1: Man it's not exactly. I can't wait for you to
Speaker 1: come home.
Speaker 2: No, it's not, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Maybe we could have a bit of mummy daddy times.
Speaker 1: Nothing like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, see you say that like the passion leaves at
Speaker 2: a certain time the relationship. Do you want to hear mine?
Speaker 2: Please get the messages? All right? So just strap yourself
Speaker 2: in because this is just as passionate as it gets.
Speaker 2: It's just starting a car is sending me a message?
Speaker 2: Car won't start. I said, oh my god, it's the battery.
Speaker 2: I've cooked it. She said, I can't get until Monday.
Speaker 2: I can't even jump to start it from your car
Speaker 2: because you don't have one. And I said, that's correct.
Speaker 2: I know I don't have one. So what now? She said,
Speaker 2: f no's I need to get Lotti to ELC in
Speaker 2: the morning. Mum will hopefully.
Speaker 6: Help my goodness goodness me seconds later off, Wow.
Speaker 1: Let's let's do this on thirteen twenty four ten, can
Speaker 1: we this morning? Because we just want to hear. We
Speaker 1: want to hear. Well, let's do Monday and text monday,
Speaker 1: shall we? We want to hear your texts that are
Speaker 1: just so boring that you have your questioning where you're at.
Speaker 2: In your relationship, really good solid indication where exactly you're at?
Speaker 2: And from craigmore, do you want to kick us off?
Speaker 2: Good morning to you?
Speaker 7: Good morning?
Speaker 8: How are we?
Speaker 1: We're great? Thank you? What was the last exchange with
Speaker 1: your partner?
Speaker 7: So it started this morning?
Speaker 4: We both have shipworks for our ships are all over
Speaker 4: the place.
Speaker 8: I cent have a message staying wake up, I'm leaving for.
Speaker 2: Work and don't forget to send me a roster blushed
Speaker 2: out sort of hair and tap before from off our
Speaker 2: grandma R.
Speaker 8: Yes, so I've got a screenshot obvious yeah.
Speaker 1: Up emoji.
Speaker 2: Doesn't that just send these beautiful shivers through your body?
Speaker 1: Here? When the thumbs up is like, I just I
Speaker 1: can't even be bothered to put words into a text. Now,
Speaker 1: that's how bad things are going, you know what I mean?
Speaker 8: Yeah, as well.
Speaker 1: I pretty much discipline at lift things.
Speaker 7: Yeah, right for today.
Speaker 1: I have to ask you this though, And but did
Speaker 1: the screenshot of his roster for the next couple of weeks?
Speaker 1: Did that make you really Toei?
Speaker 2: That's that's yes, yes, that is I'm not sure what
Speaker 2: I can talk about on radio because moments after that
Speaker 2: text exchange, things went really really north and south. I
Speaker 2: think you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Sure, that's exactly thurteen, twenty four ten. Let's do this morning.
Speaker 1: Monday text. Monday was the last text exchange? And can
Speaker 1: you pinpoint the moment that the romance died?
Speaker 2: Just a quick one as well, anyone gets on air
Speaker 2: on the stand by list for all play Light as
Speaker 2: commination everything happening in Sydney, give us a call on
Speaker 2: next thirteen and twenty four ten. It is mundane Monday texts.
Speaker 2: Is that what we're doing? Oh?
Speaker 1: I said it the other way. That's right, Okay, there's
Speaker 1: no rules, mate.
Speaker 2: I think, oh my gosh. He sounds like we've been
Speaker 2: doing this for a while.
Speaker 1: Viem, I think you know what our relationship to dead.
Speaker 1: I wonder what you sent me last. Let's have a look.
Speaker 2: I have a look at that. I'll three into one.
Speaker 1: Word answers your mundane text for a Monday. What was
Speaker 1: the last exchange you had with your partner? And do
Speaker 1: you look at it and go, oh my god, what's
Speaker 1: happened to us?
Speaker 2: It's all about word efficiency. Now you're not trying to
Speaker 2: impress your partner anymore. You're not trying to arouse him. No,
Speaker 2: it's just the shortest and most effective form of communication.
Speaker 1: The best description is from I Love Us to logistics.
Speaker 1: It's somehow along the way it just transitions, doesn't it.
Speaker 1: Daniel from Port Adelaide, has it transitioned for you?
Speaker 4: Del good morning?
Speaker 3: No, not really. We still work as the cheat. Other
Speaker 3: are quite quite often.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Several emojis now the last. The last one I sent
Speaker 3: was a I sent a picture of an insert from
Speaker 3: a I think it's the Spellbook. It just says you
Speaker 3: may fascinate a woman by sending her a piece of cheese,
Speaker 3: and I just sent a cheese.
Speaker 2: There you go. That's better what some people. Some blokes
Speaker 2: send photos of the tryantal press ladders, which never works.
Speaker 1: By the way, Well, no, I've never I can.
Speaker 2: Honestly tell you that from experience. But even I could
Speaker 2: identify that that's not a good way to go about it.
Speaker 1: Boy, it's well once known that to work that particular.
Speaker 2: Photo just don't want to get sidetracked, you know, I
Speaker 2: full double O nine nine or not? Has that ever
Speaker 2: worked ever? Surely history of exchanging text.
Speaker 1: No, No, I can positively say I've never known a
Speaker 1: woman to go wow, that's amazing. Thank you.
Speaker 2: So much.
Speaker 1: Amanda from Christy Downs, Good morning.
Speaker 7: Good morning, How are you going good?
Speaker 1: Good? What was the last text exchange you had with
Speaker 1: your partner?
Speaker 7: Well, we had a weekend away and got home late
Speaker 7: yesterday and I was in the lounge putting some stuff
Speaker 7: away and I got a text from the toilet with
Speaker 7: my partner with the cat in her underpants and the
Speaker 7: dog on her feet. We got the words so lucky.
Speaker 2: It's human. It's also there's comfort mixing with that.
Speaker 7: Because exactly yes, but you know it's comfortable with ourselves
Speaker 7: after thirty three years.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Also, could you just go tolet just give me two minutes. Really,
Speaker 1: it is so time for it. Let's go, girls, Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's go girls. You just sit in the corner and
Speaker 1: shut your face. Yes, man, producers. So we were talking
Speaker 1: the other day about breakups can be good, can be bad.
Speaker 1: You can gain things or you can lose things. I
Speaker 1: want to know what you've lost.
Speaker 5: I think when we started this conversation, Hazy piped in
Speaker 5: with dignity.
Speaker 2: I don't think. I don't think I said that.
Speaker 5: Maybe I said about myself.
Speaker 2: You said that. I think I said, don't say dignity.
Speaker 5: And then this morning you followed it up with confidence.
Speaker 2: You looking at you?
Speaker 1: When was the last breakup I went through to produce
Speaker 1: a flat?
Speaker 2: Didn't know? I just looked down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was awkward for flat. I've been in a
Speaker 1: relationship for like fifteen years, so you weren't talking about me.
Speaker 1: So true.
Speaker 5: Well, actually, on the contrary, I've gained something from my
Speaker 5: latest breakup on a house plant, a really good one,
Speaker 5: fiddle leaf ones.
Speaker 1: It's the small victories.
Speaker 2: It's I'll take it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the fiddle the fellas, Yes, but mine's like one
Speaker 5: of the sort of mini versions, so it sits nicely
Speaker 5: in my room. I definitely abandoned it for like a
Speaker 5: month after.
Speaker 1: The bay on the planet. You would have really like
Speaker 1: I had some vindictive feelings.
Speaker 2: Towards that plant. The Plant Services department almost turned up
Speaker 2: at your door.
Speaker 5: Yeah, big time. Yeah. And funnily enough, when we were
Speaker 5: talking about this, I realized every plant I have in
Speaker 5: my room is from an act an ex partner.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you live in a forest.
Speaker 2: I'm got to say I've got plants, and that's a thing.
Speaker 2: So anywhere who goes to producers always house particularly if
Speaker 2: you're a new mate. You're like, what's going on with
Speaker 2: this forest here? What are we doing here? It was
Speaker 2: just trophies for you've got a spot over there.
Speaker 1: I want to ask you, you got quite teary when
Speaker 1: you spoke about something that you lost in a relationship.
Speaker 2: Tell everyone, Yeah, a couple of extras ago. Look, I
Speaker 2: think it was pretty amicable the way that we went
Speaker 2: our separate ways. But what I lost in a relationship
Speaker 2: was and I still haven't seen it to this day,
Speaker 2: nor do I think I'll ever get it back. It
Speaker 2: was a copy of Anthony Keatis's autobiography Scar Tissue, Yes,
Speaker 2: which I lent to my ex girlfriend's father, and we
Speaker 2: never never came back into my hands. That's something I
Speaker 2: think about most days, most hours, most minutes as well.
Speaker 2: What thanks for reopening that work.
Speaker 1: That's okay, I'm just going to assume his name is
Speaker 1: David Dave have still scars.
Speaker 2: I'll get a text from Him's like I'm almost finished.
Speaker 1: Also, it's twenty six ninety nine from Dimmicks. So if
Speaker 1: you're really not heartbroken, not god about it, you can
Speaker 1: just grab a coffee.
Speaker 2: This was my original coffee.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, it meant something, was it? Science? I wasn't
Speaker 1: thirteen twenty four ten. A bit of chick chat this morning.
Speaker 1: What have you gained in a relationship? But also what
Speaker 1: have you lost.
Speaker 5: A few of my exes have lost some hoodies as well. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: I got a little collection, so painting myself in a
Speaker 5: really positive light this morning.
Speaker 2: On in the forest spot in the drawer. They are
Speaker 2: to leave you hoodie there you know the drill.
Speaker 1: Fellas, Oh darling, girl, darling, at.
Speaker 5: Least you warm lor and good occident in the room
Speaker 5: from all the plants.
Speaker 2: Yes, true, great floor, a lot of bugs lots that's
Speaker 2: like fruit flies as that we're calling her exites now.
Speaker 1: Ten gives a bus anyone who gets on air, we'll
Speaker 1: go on the stand by list. We give away a
Speaker 1: daily tickets to go and see Cold Playing in Sydney
Speaker 1: Flats accommodation, all taken care of.
Speaker 2: What did you lose and or gain in the breakup?
Speaker 2: Thirteen twenty four ten.
Speaker 8: I really shot?
Speaker 1: It is so time for it. Let's go girl, Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's go girls. Let's talk about the timing up to
Speaker 1: someone and you either gained something really cool or you
Speaker 1: lost something that you really adored. Let's do it up.
Speaker 1: Blokes to get involved as well. Oh, we've also established
Speaker 1: you didn't say so we lost your dignity. That was
Speaker 1: the boss, so you you officially are not a pig.
Speaker 5: The bak Thick texted saying, whoops, that was me about
Speaker 5: the dignity thing.
Speaker 1: Sorry, Hazy.
Speaker 2: And there's loose suggestions that you should have just gone
Speaker 2: along with it, saying something quite outrageous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but in my mind, I'm thinking you've said way
Speaker 1: worse than that.
Speaker 2: I probably thinking that as well. I'm like, this time,
Speaker 2: for the first time a long time, I didn't say
Speaker 2: I didn't do it. I'm not the bad guy.
Speaker 1: All right, Let's go to Daniel from Delamy. Good morning, Dannyel,
Speaker 1: Good morning guys, Good morning. What you've lost something big
Speaker 1: in a breakout?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 7: I lost the fourteen half foot half cabin boat.
Speaker 1: Fishing boat, fishing boat, a.
Speaker 2: Fishing boat, and I a pool table.
Speaker 4: That I sold.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll tell your pool table seem on. Wait, wait,
Speaker 1: did he just take the boat just sailed off?
Speaker 7: No, she got the boat and I got the pool table.
Speaker 7: The boat and I held the pool table.
Speaker 2: I don't know that seems fair a boat for the
Speaker 2: pool table? Was it a really fancy poll table?
Speaker 7: I don't play pool, but I don't.
Speaker 1: I was going to say that, how much like pool's
Speaker 1: fun for about half an hour? Maybe, Yeah, fishing is
Speaker 1: fun for a long time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and teach men to fish feed him for off,
Speaker 2: all those sorts of things you know, to teach men
Speaker 2: how to play pool entertained for twenty to forty five minutes.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Impressing your mates at the pub, I think that's the same.
Speaker 5: I think impressing your mates at the pub is the
Speaker 5: same as being fed for life.
Speaker 2: Really, that's true, actually, because they feed you beers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're a chicken, you can play pool. That's
Speaker 1: pretty cool, isn't it a pubsetting.
Speaker 5: I'm excellent at pool. After how.
Speaker 1: Someone so she was lacking confidence got it beg from
Speaker 1: morphot val. What did you lose in the breakoup bag? Well?
Speaker 8: What I lost is really good. Actually, I lost the
Speaker 8: psycho a poor thing, and I gained I gained a
Speaker 8: lot of.
Speaker 1: Self awareness.
Speaker 2: That's not wisdom. You gained wisdom. We all learned sometimes
Speaker 2: through these relationships.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we've all lost a psycho at some point. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everyone else we look back and go dodge a bullet back.
Speaker 5: And if you haven't, you're the psycho.
Speaker 2: What is that how it works.
Speaker 5: I think so. It's the same thing as if you
Speaker 5: don't have a bad neighbor, you're the bad neighbor.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure about this, Okay, go back to the
Speaker 1: fishing analogy.
Speaker 2: Catch a fish, feeding for days, all those types of things.
Speaker 2: Pool's fun for twenty to forty five minutes talking about it.
Speaker 1: That's exactly right. There.
Speaker 2: You go a strong message in that, mate, beg thank
Speaker 2: you so much for calling as well. You're on the
Speaker 2: standby list to seek Hole Play Live and Sydney Flights Accommodation.
Speaker 1: One of the great shows, task Master Australia continue seven
Speaker 1: point thirty on Tuesdays on ten and ten play and
Speaker 1: one of the stars of it is comedian mel Buttle,
Speaker 1: and she joins us, Now, good morning.
Speaker 4: Mel Hew.
Speaker 8: EO, ca'd you be calling me your son?
Speaker 1: That's cute, It's okay, it's totally fine. Hey, we've been
Speaker 1: talking about you and our show in the last couple
Speaker 1: of weeks, especially given it's been school holidays and you
Speaker 1: have this brilliant character online and Chuck or a follow
Speaker 1: It's Lynn. Lynn is everybody's mother, is she not?
Speaker 8: I think so. I If she's not your mom, she's
Speaker 8: your auntie or she's the woman at your local GP.
Speaker 1: For sure, this is Lynn talking about coming home when
Speaker 1: you've been working all day and your kids have been
Speaker 1: sitting on the couch. Have a listen. What have you
Speaker 1: done today?
Speaker 2: Done nothing?
Speaker 1: Why isn't the dish washer e? Did you hang the
Speaker 1: washing out like I asked? Are you in your bloody pajamas? Still?
Speaker 2: What a grot?
Speaker 8: Have you done anything?
Speaker 5: I asked?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 1: Have you walked?
Speaker 5: Jissy?
Speaker 1: Come with me to the cow.
Speaker 8: There's things I need you to help me carry quick.
Speaker 2: Come on, let's go. Oh my gosh, mel, I straight
Speaker 2: away get glimpses of my mum like twenty five years ago,
Speaker 2: saying the same things to me.
Speaker 8: It's traumatic, isn't it. It just something goes off on
Speaker 8: your brain and it goes No, I'm watching Huby's cocky Adventures.
Speaker 8: I don't want to get up.
Speaker 1: Exactly, Mel. When you're doing these little online skits, where
Speaker 1: does the inspiration come from? Is it like? Is it
Speaker 1: someone or is it just something that someone says that
Speaker 1: sparks you and you go, oh, there's a skip in that.
Speaker 8: I guess it's it's just like a voice in my
Speaker 8: head will talk to me. And that voice is lean.
Speaker 8: It's that voice goes, I, why don't you get up
Speaker 8: and do something with your day? And I'm like, oh
Speaker 8: my gosh. Yeah, I think it's kinda based on my mum,
Speaker 8: but it's sort of I don't know, it's kind of
Speaker 8: everyone as well. Once I realized everyone has the exact
Speaker 8: same mother, I was like, oh, maybe I should so
Speaker 8: much should do something with that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also the fact that she's always in her
Speaker 1: dressing gown, always in her dressing gown.
Speaker 2: Andrew, yeah, I can go to licens to your mail.
Speaker 2: For having a voice in your head that you can
Speaker 2: actually use for something good, yes, not something bad?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so true. Do you hear a little bit? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Linn's talking to me again. What the hell's
Speaker 1: going on here? Exactly?
Speaker 3: I'm a goot older.
Speaker 8: That voice has just got louder and louder, like it
Speaker 8: didn't used to be that voice. The voice used to be, Yeah,
Speaker 8: it's only nine o'clock, and so you can have a
Speaker 8: couple of drinks and you'll be home by midnight. You
Speaker 8: can sleep to sixth and go to work. But now
Speaker 8: the voice is, well, why don't you pop a jumper
Speaker 8: in the car because you don't know if the weather's
Speaker 8: going to change.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like so many conversations going on in your head,
Speaker 1: task Masker, do you enjoy doing this show? It's challenging.
Speaker 8: I love I loved it. I love task Master. It
Speaker 8: was so fun to hang out with all those comedians.
Speaker 8: It was interesting to try and impress Tom Gleason, which
Speaker 8: is the ultimate in popular part. Really that's very tricky.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he is. He's quite a genius, isn't he. He's
Speaker 1: a comedic genius.
Speaker 7: He's really clever.
Speaker 8: He's also like clever at comedy and clever in real life,
Speaker 8: which I think is unfair that you get both of those. Yeah, Like,
Speaker 8: I'm sure he was stunnying science or like pharmacy at
Speaker 8: UNI before he got into comedy. I'm like, oh I was.
Speaker 8: I was working as a teacher, like I was barely
Speaker 8: clinging onto life. But yeah, he's got it all. I mean,
Speaker 8: he doesn't have hair, and he's a ginger, but you.
Speaker 1: So you know what I love about him the most
Speaker 1: though now he gives zero bleeps about anything, like to
Speaker 1: stand up at the logis and tee off on all
Speaker 1: the celebrities and then copple the clap back and he
Speaker 1: just doesn't care, does he No?
Speaker 8: And he genuinely doesn't care, like a lot of people
Speaker 8: are like, yeah, I don't care, but underneath you know
Speaker 8: they deeply care. But you can look deep into Tom
Speaker 8: gleason eyes, he genuinely doesn't care. I'm like, how do
Speaker 8: you get to that point?
Speaker 2: Teach me?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Master, Yes, that's I think that's rare. I think that's
Speaker 2: just one in a million because most people are affected.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, you're an online community, mel
Speaker 1: do you get bothered if you read negative comments? Or
Speaker 1: are you just does it not bother you?
Speaker 8: I don't love it, obviously it's not great, but also
Speaker 8: if they're funny, I'm kind of like, you know what
Speaker 8: respect that is?
Speaker 1: That is fair.
Speaker 8: I don't have a very good neck like you to
Speaker 8: pick that out.
Speaker 1: So ye creative the insults, but also thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you Internet stranger for the feedback on my neck. I
Speaker 1: really appreciate that.
Speaker 8: Well yeah, I'm like, well you've been You've actually watched
Speaker 8: the whole clip and paid quite a lot of attention
Speaker 8: to to pick that out. So now I respect it,
Speaker 8: and I think if you're going to come and have
Speaker 8: a go, you've got to come come strong. Not just
Speaker 8: the usual like people like who's this is? This passes
Speaker 8: for comedy, you know, be creative.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing. We got that dumb sort of
Speaker 1: on on radio websites and stuff where people go, oh, no,
Speaker 1: one listens to radio, and it's like you've just clicked
Speaker 1: on an article about radio.
Speaker 2: Let's tell you what, Mel, who's this is?
Speaker 4: Just?
Speaker 2: It doesn't ef I get that from my kids.
Speaker 1: Oh, Melbuddal. The show is task Master Australia. It continues
Speaker 1: seven thirty on Tuesday and the Beautiful ten Network. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for having a chat with us.
Speaker 8: My pleasure who wrote.
Speaker 2: He wrote, all right, let's talk about the big fellow
Speaker 2: eating the cats, Donald go don chat. He's for a
Speaker 2: nice little publicity stunts in order to make him sure,
Speaker 2: make himself for more. One of the people like relatable.
Speaker 2: He's pulled ash shift of Macers. I want to say
Speaker 2: pulled ash shift. He was there for probably about fifteen
Speaker 2: to twenty minutes. Yeah, it's still it's something that Kamala
Speaker 2: Harris hasn't done. Oh okay, so that's that's what he
Speaker 2: always It always comes back to what she done and
Speaker 2: what I'm what am I doing? It's going to make
Speaker 2: you think that I'm more relatable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I have more people at my rallies than
Speaker 1: she has and all that sort of really immature stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, here's some audio of Trump working his shift at
Speaker 2: McDonald's and just this beautiful, flawless, sophisticated interaction with some
Speaker 2: of the customers. It's pretty good. Okay, let's sell He's
Speaker 2: a macagay all the way, a good one thing group. Hello, everybody.
Speaker 8: This is not a normal situations.
Speaker 2: In a situation where it feels like he needs to
Speaker 2: make a comment on absolutely everything that he sees. Just
Speaker 2: like my four year old daughter when a thought pops
Speaker 2: into her hair head brother, it comes out of her mouth.
Speaker 1: He's like, this is a Macca guy.
Speaker 2: He's a maca gayca who says meccas gay? This gay radio?
Speaker 2: Big fella? Is it macau?
Speaker 1: It's never f to deliver Donald, does he?
Speaker 2: And also, that's a beautiful family you have there.
Speaker 1: Okay, thanks, thanks Donald for commenting on the level of
Speaker 1: attractiveness of my kids. Yes, okay.
Speaker 2: And then of course he brought it back to somewhat
Speaker 2: of a competition space with his opponents.
Speaker 4: Now I have worked at three I've now worked four
Speaker 4: fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2: More than Kamala McDonald's confirmed four times. And now she
Speaker 2: never worked. She never worked here. That's the difference. That's
Speaker 2: why you should vote for trot.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's why he should be the leader of the
Speaker 1: free world.
Speaker 2: And of course what you do once you pull the
Speaker 2: shift at Macers is that you take some chips on
Speaker 2: your private jet home. Hello, everybody, I'm having a lot
Speaker 2: of fun here, everybody. I'm going to definitely have friends
Speaker 2: for French fags to the plane. I'm having a lot
Speaker 2: of fun here, everybody.
Speaker 1: Donald, that's the most awkward thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 2: It's pretty shocking, terrible. That's okay. That swing your vote though,
Speaker 2: if you're in an America, oh yeah, jeez. If it does,
Speaker 2: you need to have a good hard look at yourself.
Speaker 1: The day for Trump, this day that we used to
Speaker 1: be friends. Yeah, because you don't want to be my friend.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately we don't have access to voting. It's a really
Speaker 2: good thing here in Australia.