Speaker 1: So let's save the sock energy for like emails or
Speaker 1: creating an app that will make you and your family
Speaker 1: really rich.
Speaker 2: Hello guys, and welcome back to Stepping Up.
Speaker 1: I have so much good stuff in store for you
Speaker 1: today this episode. I actually created it based off a
Speaker 1: post I did a couple months ago that went viral,
Speaker 1: Like I'm saying, over a million views, and look, we
Speaker 1: know that that's not why we post, like it's not
Speaker 1: always to go viral, but it just showed how many
Speaker 1: people needed this information. And it's funny because a lot
Speaker 1: of the things I put in this viral post where
Speaker 1: I didn't think they were that revolutionary, and I guess
Speaker 1: they're not, but they help so so much. So as
Speaker 1: the title suggests, this is eight weird systems I do
Speaker 1: for my ADHD brain. Now I want to just say
Speaker 1: that this is for everyone, Like, you don't have to
Speaker 1: have ADHD to need these systems. You don't need to
Speaker 1: you know, feel like you need a diagnosis to follow
Speaker 1: these systems.
Speaker 2: This is for people who.
Speaker 1: Live in the world as we do today, where it's busy,
Speaker 1: it's chaotic, where I feel like we're dropping balls all
Speaker 1: the time, and you just constantly are forgetting things as well,
Speaker 1: which is not hard to do when there's just so
Speaker 1: much happening. When you think about it, you know, we
Speaker 1: live in an age of technology, and that is fantastic.
Speaker 1: Obviously this is my job, but at the same time,
Speaker 1: it's very distracting and it can be really overstimulating for everyone.
Speaker 1: So it is very common they're seeing people's attention spans
Speaker 1: are shorter, like we are more forgetful, and it's just
Speaker 1: because we have so many things going on around us.
Speaker 1: So this episode is for any human being who just
Speaker 1: wants some really good life hacks, some systems to make
Speaker 1: your life work with you and also with your brain
Speaker 1: as well. Now, before I get into it, a little
Speaker 1: bit of a life update, So I, of course, as
Speaker 1: this title suggests as well, I'm really into systems and systemaizing.
Speaker 1: And I know that sounds gross because I'm very much
Speaker 1: a creative person and like logistics and systems aren't really
Speaker 1: my thing. Well so I thought, but when you think
Speaker 1: about it, you know, I'm known online for like organization
Speaker 1: and the pantry, all those things, and technically those things
Speaker 1: are systems and I, as you guys know, I am MS.
Speaker 1: I forget, I'd forget my own head. If it wasn't
Speaker 1: attached to my neck, I was gonna say, shoulders, what's
Speaker 1: the saying? I'm this is like side note, I get
Speaker 1: every saying wrong. Like I said the other day down
Speaker 1: the hatchet instead of down the hatch, and.
Speaker 2: Then I said, like, and I just I do get
Speaker 2: a bit self conscious over it because I do feel
Speaker 2: like a bit stupid.
Speaker 1: But I just always say very common sayings wrong, even
Speaker 1: things like the sharpest tool in the shed. I said
Speaker 1: the brightest tool in the shed, like it's concerning, and
Speaker 1: when I hear it back, I'm like, that's not right, Steph,
Speaker 1: that's not right. Anyway, now I've already forgotten what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about, so obviously, yeah.
Speaker 2: Sorry.
Speaker 1: So I'm very much into life hacks, you know, I
Speaker 1: love AI all those things and just making life easier.
Speaker 1: And I think for me it's just because you know,
Speaker 1: my whole life, I've really ruggled to do basic tasks.
Speaker 1: So one thing I've noticed, and this is something I've
Speaker 1: only just started paying attention to in my thirties, is
Speaker 1: really working with my cycle. So my mental cycle. This
Speaker 1: is really sexy topic, but it's important. And look, I
Speaker 1: will admit i'm the first one to be like when
Speaker 1: people were saying, like, on this part of my cycle,
Speaker 1: that's why I feel like this. I honestly it was
Speaker 1: a bit silly and I really didn't think much of it.
Speaker 1: I was like, as if it's going to affect us
Speaker 1: that much, But then ten days before my period, I
Speaker 1: feel like the world is ending and I don't even realize,
Speaker 1: Like you don't you kind of because it kind of
Speaker 1: just comes on suddenly, and then you finally get your
Speaker 1: period and you're like, oh, my life doesn't suck.
Speaker 2: It's fine.
Speaker 1: So I started really paying attention to this, and this
Speaker 1: is because I noticed.
Speaker 2: I was like, why is there some weeks where I.
Speaker 1: Feel really good and confident and in some weeks I
Speaker 1: feel like a bag of potatoes and I don't want
Speaker 1: to camera in my face and I don't want to socialize,
Speaker 1: and like even having a conversation with the checkout late
Speaker 1: it will just makes me want to cry. And it
Speaker 1: really does come down to our hormones, like we have
Speaker 1: a twenty eight day hormone cycle. And so this could
Speaker 1: be a whole other podcast. I'm going to try and
Speaker 1: make this quick, but basically what I'm trying to get
Speaker 1: at is I started taking note of where I was
Speaker 1: in my cycle and these certain feelings and emotions I
Speaker 1: was feeling, and I found that, yeah, ten days before
Speaker 1: my period, which is your luteal phase, which sucks, like
Speaker 1: leave me alone lu to your phase is what we'll
Speaker 1: call it. I just don't want to, you know, go
Speaker 1: out and do the things. I don't want to socialize.
Speaker 1: I don't want to film anything, which is kind of
Speaker 1: hard when you do what I do for work. And
Speaker 1: then I noticed as soon as I got my period,
Speaker 1: I was really good at making decisions, Like I'm really
Speaker 1: good at making decisions where normally I struggle, so I know,
Speaker 1: and I'm also oddly good at decluttering when I have
Speaker 1: my period. So when I have my period, I will
Speaker 1: cull things like I'm ruthless. And then obviously there's other
Speaker 1: parts of your period where it's at your cycle, where
Speaker 1: you are.
Speaker 2: Feeling more confident and things like that.
Speaker 1: So for me making this work around my work, and
Speaker 1: I know we all can't do this, but I'll give
Speaker 1: you an example of what you can do later. Is
Speaker 1: so if it's like a week before my period, I
Speaker 1: will try not to like I won't even record in
Speaker 1: here because I also turn in my brain turns to mush.
Speaker 1: I won't do like videos, none of that. I would
Speaker 1: sit down and do more like admin more just like
Speaker 1: I can still do deep work, but I just don't
Speaker 1: want to be Yeah, just like out there, not like performative.
Speaker 1: But you get what I'm saying. And then when I
Speaker 1: have my period, I will be culling, making big decisions, decluttering,
Speaker 1: doing the things. And then other parts of my cycle,
Speaker 1: I will go and have dinner with friends, or I'll
Speaker 1: you know, be in front of camera or do all
Speaker 1: those things. So for you whose job is different than mine,
Speaker 1: obviously we can't control what we do at work, but
Speaker 1: coming like even going down to like deciding to maybe
Speaker 1: you know, your friends ask you out for dinner. Ten
Speaker 1: day's sweet period, maybe just say hey, let's do it
Speaker 1: next week or when you know you feel good. So yeah,
Speaker 1: just kind of mapping out your life where you can
Speaker 1: hand to work with your cycle. So you know, trying
Speaker 1: a new gym class maybe not the greatest idea to
Speaker 1: do in your ludial phase, but do it, you know,
Speaker 1: after your period.
Speaker 2: Or whatever works for you. So just like tailoring in that.
Speaker 1: To you, which now leads me into these weird systems
Speaker 1: that work for my ADHD brain. Now, as I said,
Speaker 1: I decided to make this an episode because of the
Speaker 1: post that I did that went viral, because I had
Speaker 1: never received so many dms from people saying thank you
Speaker 1: so much for this. And again, we do really underestimate
Speaker 1: little hacks and things that we work out ourselves at home.
Speaker 1: And I think I'm sure you've you know, experienced this
Speaker 1: before where maybe you share a hack with a friend
Speaker 1: and they think it's amazing, and you just assume maybe
Speaker 1: people know that. So this is just really comes down to,
Speaker 1: you know, not being afraid to share things because you
Speaker 1: can really really help other people. Now, this episode is
Speaker 1: going to be really really helpful because like that post,
Speaker 1: you know, it didn't do these systems justice. It's you know,
Speaker 1: only so many slides. But like today, I'm want to
Speaker 1: be doing a deep dive into every system. Some of
Speaker 1: them don't need to be that deep. Let's be honest
Speaker 1: that there's a sock thing which we will get to.
Speaker 1: But I think this is really really going to help
Speaker 1: you guys. And I would love if you guys, when
Speaker 1: you listen to this, please tag me on Instagram and
Speaker 1: tell me what one of the systems that you loved,
Speaker 1: or even better, take a photo when you're doing this
Speaker 1: system or if you've implemented it and yet tag us
Speaker 1: because I would love love to share and see what
Speaker 1: you guys have been doing so weird. System Number one
Speaker 1: is doing the weekly brain dump, and again not revolutionary,
Speaker 1: but I think once you realize why this is important
Speaker 1: and it's not just me talking for the sake of it,
Speaker 1: which yes I do that as well, and the science
Speaker 1: behind it, you will understand why this is so important. Because,
Speaker 1: as you guys know, I'm not super woo woo. I'd
Speaker 1: love to be more woo woo, but I love to
Speaker 1: know the facts and like the science behind things to
Speaker 1: do them like that really motivates me.
Speaker 2: So if I can get like a.
Speaker 1: Little bit of a stat I'm not going to bore
Speaker 1: you with it, but knowing how your brain works and
Speaker 1: why is going to actually make you start doing weekly
Speaker 1: brain dumps every Sunday or Monday morning or whenever you
Speaker 1: want to do it. So for me, this looks like
Speaker 1: every Sunday afternoon or night, depending on how I'm feeling,
Speaker 1: or sometimes I'll even do it on a Friday afternoon
Speaker 1: because you know, maybe you'll finish work or finish that week,
Speaker 1: and you don't want to forget where you like you're
Speaker 1: left off on Monday. So it is also a really
Speaker 1: good idea if you are forgetful like me, to maybe
Speaker 1: start doing your brain dumps on a Friday afternoon if.
Speaker 2: That works for you.
Speaker 1: So basically, I'll set a timer for ten minutes because
Speaker 1: for me, I work well, all of us we do
Speaker 1: tend to work better under pressure. You will do the
Speaker 1: things much faster. So for me, I was spending too
Speaker 1: long at this, so I started doing a time off
Speaker 1: ten minutes and I will brain dump everything that's in
Speaker 1: my brain, because we need to remember our brains aren't
Speaker 1: really meant for storage. I will have random facts in
Speaker 1: there that do not help me whatsoever, but they're in there,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I would love to like clear
Speaker 1: that space and put something more important in its place,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't work like that.
Speaker 2: So this is where we use.
Speaker 1: Things like planners, notebooks. You know, if you've heard of
Speaker 1: second brain, like you can build yourne second brain digital
Speaker 1: and it's just very very helpful because when you think
Speaker 1: about it, For me especially have I get very heightened
Speaker 1: anxiety and stress when I'm trying to remember the things,
Speaker 1: and these are always the weeks if I've forgotten this
Speaker 1: brain dump step, and that's because I'm trying to hang
Speaker 1: on to it all our brain. Like for us to
Speaker 1: feel good and also to be creative, you do need
Speaker 1: to be able to lighten the mental load which is
Speaker 1: remembering the things. So you know this is called brain dumping,
Speaker 1: which I'll go it through my little thing in a minute,
Speaker 1: is actually called cognitive offloading. So research from the University
Speaker 1: of Waterloo shows that writing things down freeze up working memory,
Speaker 1: and people with ADHD we have limited working memory, so
Speaker 1: compared to neurotypical people, we will couldn't say and this
Speaker 1: is obviously not everyone, but as an example, we will
Speaker 1: remember about two to three items where neurotypical can remember
Speaker 1: five to seven. Kind of not fair in my opinion.
Speaker 1: So this is not optional for us. This is essential
Speaker 1: to be doing this cognitive offloading.
Speaker 2: So if you want to call.
Speaker 1: It that, you can, but I think brain dump sounds
Speaker 1: a bit better. I even like if it's before bed
Speaker 1: I'll call it a bedside brain dump. And it just
Speaker 1: helps you kind of turn it into a bit of
Speaker 1: a ritual every day, week or whenever you want to
Speaker 1: do it. And that's why we You know, when you
Speaker 1: think about it, you know, you try to remember the
Speaker 1: things you forget. You're late to an appointment, you forgot
Speaker 1: to pack Johnny's lunch or buy him new sports clothes
Speaker 1: for the next week, and you get angry at yourself
Speaker 1: for that, like you do think Like for me, I
Speaker 1: can get quite angry at myself.
Speaker 2: I think it's a sign of my intelligence, which which
Speaker 2: is it's not at all.
Speaker 1: But you know, your brain is trying to hold forty
Speaker 1: seven things at once, but it's only got the storage
Speaker 1: room for like a few It's like trying to make
Speaker 1: a bunch of people live together in a small room.
Speaker 1: It's going to turn into an absolute shit show. So
Speaker 1: you know, just try to remember that. Okay, maybe maybe
Speaker 1: write it down, don't try and remember it that. You know,
Speaker 1: doing things like brain dumps isn't because you're not it's
Speaker 1: because it's literally not We're not designed to remember all
Speaker 1: the things. We're not a Google drive. Yeah, your brain
Speaker 1: is not a Google drive. So brain dump, let it
Speaker 1: out and then we can move on to the next things.
Speaker 1: So what does a brain dump look like? So again,
Speaker 1: you set your timer you sit down, you got your notebook,
Speaker 1: your SPP planner, whatever you have, and I want you
Speaker 1: to again write everything down.
Speaker 2: If you want.
Speaker 1: You can do categories if you want to put like life, kids, Home,
Speaker 1: But for me, I kind of just like to just
Speaker 1: write whatever comes in my brain. It could sometimes it's
Speaker 1: not even a task. Is this something that I thought
Speaker 1: of and you just let it all out. So once
Speaker 1: you've done your writing, it could even be a couple
Speaker 1: of minutes. It could be you know, by Johnny's sports clothes.
Speaker 1: You know, in a month, I've got this appointment. Oh
Speaker 1: I need to fill in this form like all those
Speaker 1: annoying life admin tasks, but even just other things like
Speaker 1: if you have a really cool idea, or maybe there
Speaker 1: was something on Instagram you saw when you're scrolling and
Speaker 1: you want to check that out later, just dump it
Speaker 1: all down so there's no order, no judgment, just get
Speaker 1: it out and then this is where I sought it.
Speaker 1: So in my planners, I have a monthly brain dump page,
Speaker 1: but again weekly is best. But your monthly brain up
Speaker 1: dump page is very helpful for obviously the big things
Speaker 1: for that month. But what you'll see is what's different
Speaker 1: about my planners is I make them for people like
Speaker 1: me and you know, people who just need little gentle
Speaker 1: nudges and reminding, but also I've got it. So the
Speaker 1: brain dump page is actually broken up into four sections,
Speaker 1: so you can make these sections whatever you want. So
Speaker 1: for me, I usually do life slash personal, and then
Speaker 1: I'll do usually each business so I'll have like SPP
Speaker 1: or have personal brand, and then I also have home.
Speaker 2: So that's how I like to do it.
Speaker 1: But this will change also each month, so sometimes I
Speaker 1: might really need to focus just on YouTube or the
Speaker 1: pod or whatever, and that's what will make my sections.
Speaker 1: So for you, you can break it up into life sections.
Speaker 1: But what you want to do is grab a highlighter
Speaker 1: and then just highlight what's urgent, what's this week, So
Speaker 1: anything that you know is more time sensitive, you want
Speaker 1: to really highlight that, and then also cross out anything
Speaker 1: on that list that you don't need to do or
Speaker 1: you can delegate, So wherever you can delegate or delete,
Speaker 1: do that, So just cross it out. And also, you know,
Speaker 1: this is where it's going to get really good for
Speaker 1: you to learn to ask for help because we don't
Speaker 1: ask that enough.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's what you're going to do.
Speaker 1: Sort it out, and then anything that's urgent or needs
Speaker 1: to be done that week, you do write in your
Speaker 1: planner and I'll do a whole other episode on how
Speaker 1: I plan my week because I think that's going to
Speaker 1: be really, really helpful because one of the biggest dams
Speaker 1: I get is how do I use my planner? And
Speaker 1: I actually have a guide in the planner of course,
Speaker 1: with a QR code on telling you how to use it.
Speaker 1: But if you like to be able to hear it
Speaker 1: and like talk it out, I will do an episode
Speaker 1: on that for you guys. And here's a little hack
Speaker 1: for this. If you're someone like me, if you're out
Speaker 1: and about and you remember something and you don't want to.
Speaker 2: Forget it, I I'll get into another episode.
Speaker 1: Is I like I text myself, So don't be scared
Speaker 1: to text yourself. Use your notes at but please remember
Speaker 1: to go back in there and look at it to
Speaker 1: write into your planneer later.
Speaker 2: Now moving on to.
Speaker 1: Wed system number two, is I only own one type
Speaker 1: of sock?
Speaker 2: It's mind blowing, isn't it. This is just revolutionary content.
Speaker 1: But this is just an example of how to make
Speaker 1: your life easier.
Speaker 2: So seven years ago I threw out all my socks.
Speaker 1: Okay, not all of them, but I kept the ones
Speaker 1: that were just like my favorite ones, which were just white,
Speaker 1: just boring white, and everything else got thrown in the bit.
Speaker 2: Now, the reason I did this.
Speaker 1: Is because I probably was in my alluvial face of
Speaker 1: my period and I was hating life. But I was
Speaker 1: trying to match my socks and I would always lose
Speaker 1: a pair, like lose one half of the pair, and
Speaker 1: it was just something I just hated. And I also
Speaker 1: got over this even more so once I had kids,
Speaker 1: because there's nothing worse than trying to match an adult
Speaker 1: sized pair of socks, but doing a kid's size pair
Speaker 1: of socks is much much worse. So I now have
Speaker 1: I purchased about fifteen pairs of the same type of sock.
Speaker 2: It's all just white.
Speaker 1: So this means when I do the washing and things,
Speaker 1: I compare whoever up together. It's kind of like a
Speaker 1: swinger situation for SoC addition, and I can't tell you
Speaker 1: how much easier it's made laundry, because I think it's
Speaker 1: just going down the path of the least amount of
Speaker 1: micro decisions ever, because you need to think about it,
Speaker 1: the amount of decisions we make every day is a
Speaker 1: substantial amount. So if we can just simplify that down
Speaker 1: to even having the same type of sock in the house,
Speaker 1: even the kids, they all have the same type, like
Speaker 1: in the same size as well for my kids, because
Speaker 1: it just makes life easier. You don't have to add
Speaker 1: the extra steps in there. And there's also the least resistance.
Speaker 1: So for me, I didn't realize, but when I had
Speaker 1: to do washing, subconsciously, I'm thinking about the sock thing,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this, so I would likely
Speaker 1: not do the washing and then it would get insane,
Speaker 1: where now it's not as hard.
Speaker 2: And I've also got a laundry system now.
Speaker 1: So anything you can do just to make alleviate the
Speaker 1: pressure and the micro decisions do it. And obviously that
Speaker 1: comes down to, as I said, is decision fatigue and
Speaker 1: the micro decisions. So every decision costs mental energy and
Speaker 1: our brain is super lazy. If you didn't realize that already,
Speaker 1: I actually talked about that in an episode called Your
Speaker 1: Brain is a Goal Blocker, So listen to that, because yeah,
Speaker 1: matching socks is a micro decision, and that's dozens and
Speaker 1: dozens of decisions before it's even eight o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1: So research from the Columbia University found that the more
Speaker 1: decisions people make, the worse the quality of subsequent decisions.
Speaker 1: So by removing sock making, you're banking that energy for
Speaker 1: something actually matters.
Speaker 2: So let's save the sock.
Speaker 1: Energy for like emails or creating an app that will
Speaker 1: make you and your family really rich. So this sock
Speaker 1: thing isn't actually about socks. It's the principle. If a
Speaker 1: system requires too many micro decisions, remove them. So if
Speaker 1: we apply the sock theory to everything in our lives,
Speaker 1: it will be so much easier. And these can look
Speaker 1: like having the same type of drink podole for each child,
Speaker 1: so you know, yet that's Johnny's. You know why I
Speaker 1: keep Johnny's just a really good example. If there's a
Speaker 1: Johnny out there, I should probably give you like a
Speaker 1: discount code for planners or something at this point. So
Speaker 1: you're getting like each child their own type of drink bottle,
Speaker 1: so you know that that's theirs.
Speaker 2: Or another one could be.
Speaker 1: You know, like for me, this is one I do
Speaker 1: is having the same breakfast every single day. Then I
Speaker 1: don't have to think, but I do love having the
Speaker 1: same food every single day as well. But yeah, things
Speaker 1: like that and having the same weekly meals on rotation
Speaker 1: for dinner.
Speaker 2: Sort it.
Speaker 1: And I know I'm gonna get asked this, so I
Speaker 1: buy my socks off Amazon. So there you go, all right,
Speaker 1: So weird system Number three is my planner lives on
Speaker 1: the bench always and open. It always has to be open,
Speaker 1: so not in my bag, not in a drawer, open,
Speaker 1: face up, always visible for me to see. And for me,
Speaker 1: that's because for myself and many people with ADHD, it's
Speaker 1: out of sight, out of mind. If it's literally not
Speaker 1: in my face, I will forget it, and that sadly
Speaker 1: includes people, but that's more of an autism thing. But anyway,
Speaker 1: I digress. So if it's not in front of me,
Speaker 1: I will forget it. That's why people we use walk
Speaker 1: calendars and things like that, because it is a prompt
Speaker 1: for our brain and that actually again has science behind it,
Speaker 1: like behavioral scientists say that the number one predictor if
Speaker 1: someone is actually going to do a behavior or start
Speaker 1: a new habit is whether they have a prompt for it.
Speaker 1: So no prompt equals no behavior. So say you want
Speaker 1: to start running, I don't know why I always use
Speaker 1: this example. But anyway you want to start running, if
Speaker 1: your runners always tucked away or hidden or maybe you're I.
Speaker 2: Don't know what else do people were running?
Speaker 1: Like the little packs on their back where they drink
Speaker 1: through the little straws anyway, you know what I'm trying
Speaker 1: to say, like the is it got a bladder?
Speaker 2: Anyway? One of those.
Speaker 1: If you don't have them out, you're going to forget.
Speaker 1: So every time you see your joggers when you wake up,
Speaker 1: be like, oh yeah, I'm going to go for a run.
Speaker 1: Or even better, to even make this even better is
Speaker 1: having your clothes, your workout clothes laid out. That is
Speaker 1: just the best pack as well is another one of
Speaker 1: my systems. But it is a visual prompt and that's
Speaker 1: going to make you actually follow through with the habit
Speaker 1: or behavior and when you think about it too, something
Speaker 1: like a planner that is something that you're constantly going
Speaker 1: to be writing in. Again, if you are out and
Speaker 1: about do the thing I said with the notes app
Speaker 1: or texting yourself. But if you don't have it open,
Speaker 1: when you get asked to do an extra task or
Speaker 1: you remember something, it's not available to you as easily
Speaker 1: to write it down, and then you have the extra
Speaker 1: micro steps or you know, micro decisions with which is
Speaker 1: open the get the planner out of your bag, open
Speaker 1: it up, find a pen, and then write in it.
Speaker 1: You're not going to do that because we are lazy,
Speaker 1: our brains are lazy, or we're not lazy, our brain
Speaker 1: is lazy. So make it as simple as possible for yourself.
Speaker 2: And especially if.
Speaker 1: This is like a family planner, you want people to
Speaker 1: see what's going on, So leave it open. I literally
Speaker 1: will leave it even on the kitchen bench if I'm
Speaker 1: not in my office that day, because again I will
Speaker 1: forget weird. System Number four is alarms for starting, not
Speaker 1: just arriving. So what I mean by that is I
Speaker 1: will set an alarm obviously, So say you've got a
Speaker 1: hair dresser appointment at three, Normally I would set an
Speaker 1: alarm for like maybe quarter to three, which kind of
Speaker 1: goes into this, but quarter to three for going to
Speaker 1: the appointment. But the thing is with that, for me,
Speaker 1: it's either things are either now or not now, and
Speaker 1: if it's not now, it's also not my problem until
Speaker 1: it is my problem when I'm late. So for me,
Speaker 1: I need alarms to actually get me started and What
Speaker 1: I mean by that is getting ready. Do I need
Speaker 1: to shower? Do I need to eat? Do I need
Speaker 1: to put makeup on? Do I need to do any
Speaker 1: of those things? And if so, set alarms for them.
Speaker 1: So let's I'm going to a three pm hair appointment.
Speaker 1: I will then set an alarm at one to be like, hey,
Speaker 1: we're going in like an hour of forty five minutes,
Speaker 1: and it will say, you know, it could say have
Speaker 1: a shower, it could say eat whatever. And then I'll
Speaker 1: have another alarm that actually says start getting ready, as
Speaker 1: in like get dressed, tat yourself out, and then I'll
Speaker 1: have the next alarm, which actually means to leave. But
Speaker 1: usually I also have a buffer in there as well,
Speaker 1: because if I'm focused on something and my alarm goes off,
Speaker 1: sometimes I'll just be like, oh yep, I'll leave in
Speaker 1: a sec, and then I'll just stop the alarm. But
Speaker 1: I always will go back in the zone and then
Speaker 1: I'm late, so I will set usually two alarms to leave.
Speaker 1: So this is just down to obviously ADHD time blindness.
Speaker 1: As I mentioned, it's either now or not now, and
Speaker 1: so you really just want to like have these gentle
Speaker 1: nudges Okay, they're not really gentle if your alarm is
Speaker 1: really obnoxious. So I do recommend using maybe like like
Speaker 1: songs or like songs that you are happy to hate
Speaker 1: later and that can prompt you to get going. And
Speaker 1: also if you say, have the same song for like
Speaker 1: the same type of action each day, that that's going
Speaker 1: to be more helpful for your brain because it's a cue,
Speaker 1: and they're like our brain goes oh when we hear
Speaker 1: Bruno Mars's song whatever this one is, we get ready
Speaker 1: for the gym, and it's like it's an instant thing
Speaker 1: and it's so much easier and there's a lot less resistance.
Speaker 2: Weird system number five the launch pad.
Speaker 1: Now it's not an actual launch pad obviously, but every night,
Speaker 1: everything I need for the next day that is important,
Speaker 1: like keys, my life pouch, which I'll get into in
Speaker 1: a minute, you know, kids, stuff, All of it is
Speaker 1: in one spot of the house. Now for us, we've
Speaker 1: got like a pretty cool mudroom now, which is bloody awesome.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: But obviously not every like, not everyone has the mudroom,
Speaker 1: let's be honest. So choose a spot. It could be
Speaker 1: like maybe a kitchen nook or like a bench that's
Speaker 1: near the exit, like wherever in your house that will
Speaker 1: work as your launch pad. So every night we're going
Speaker 1: to think of our future self because mourning us can't
Speaker 1: be trusted. She's not happy and she doesn't remember anything,
Speaker 1: so and she'll be really mad at you if you
Speaker 1: don't do your you know, closing shift of the house,
Speaker 1: which we'll get into it a minute. So like bag
Speaker 1: keys snacks that obviously you can leave out of the fridge.
Speaker 1: All that bottle of water filled up is a big
Speaker 1: one because I struggle with drinking water. So if I've
Speaker 1: already filled it and I've put it at the launch pad,
Speaker 1: it's good to go, and I'll actually drink the thing
Speaker 1: because we don't like the Again, micro decisions in the
Speaker 1: morning are the worst. There's a lot of things going
Speaker 1: on in the morning. So whatever you can do to
Speaker 1: reduce this is going to really help you have a
Speaker 1: much better day. Because our morning it is, you know,
Speaker 1: the first book end.
Speaker 2: Of our day. It's how we start it. So if you.
Speaker 1: Wake up and you know you haven't done the kitchen
Speaker 1: from the night before, you haven't done your launch pad.
Speaker 1: You don't have your life pouch, which will make sense
Speaker 1: to in a second, it's going to be a bit
Speaker 1: of a shit show, and we don't want to do that,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, mourning us will hate us if we.
Speaker 2: Don't do this.
Speaker 1: So and the thing is, there is science again behind this,
Speaker 1: like as ADHD brains. Future thinking isn't something that we're
Speaker 1: very good at. Again, it's either now or not now.
Speaker 1: So we're not going to have future us as back
Speaker 1: as much. You know, we're too busy, like either got
Speaker 1: a million thoughts in our head or we're distracted or
Speaker 1: we're doing something. So just having a launch pad to
Speaker 1: launch your day off for the next day is going
Speaker 1: to save you. It's kind of cool to think of
Speaker 1: it like this, Like the launch pad converts a memory
Speaker 1: task into a visual task, so a visual you.
Speaker 2: You know, because everything's right there at the door.
Speaker 1: It's where you can see it, and you know, okay,
Speaker 1: like maybe you'll have even down to like let's say
Speaker 1: you have a doctor's appointment and you have to fill
Speaker 1: out a form and you've got the form there, it's
Speaker 1: filled out, it's at your launch pad, it's ready to go,
Speaker 1: and then you'll see it and be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I we got a doctor's appointment today. But you should
Speaker 1: also have all your alarm set as well. For that
Speaker 1: you're fifteen alarms prior. I do highly recommend, like you
Speaker 1: need to make sure your launch pad is in a
Speaker 1: location that makes sense, because if you're gonna go put
Speaker 1: it in the back room, you're not gonna remember, you're
Speaker 1: not gonna walk past it when you leave and see
Speaker 1: all the things.
Speaker 2: So you need to make.
Speaker 1: Sure it is at like an entryway, a hallway, wherever
Speaker 1: you're walking past to leave the house. It needs to
Speaker 1: be there because location actually really really matters. And again,
Speaker 1: have a hook for keys, a bowl for like wallets
Speaker 1: and things like that, a shelf for kids stuff, but
Speaker 1: just have everything kind of gathered together. I will even
Speaker 1: do this so you know, when I don't go to
Speaker 1: the gym as early anymore, but when I still got
Speaker 1: the gym really early in the morning, I would even
Speaker 1: have the certain skincare things that I use together, Like
Speaker 1: on the vanity, I'll have my contacts, my daily contacts
Speaker 1: in the little packets laid out right there. I'll have
Speaker 1: and I used to even put my keys in my
Speaker 1: life pouch next to it, so everything is one section.
Speaker 1: So if you're also someone trying to get up earlier.
Speaker 1: Try that the launch pad. But you can have it
Speaker 1: in your bathroom even as long as you remember to
Speaker 1: take the things with you. So me sorts it out
Speaker 1: so morning me doesn't have to and it's a game changer.
Speaker 1: Moving on to the life pouch. So I mentioned this
Speaker 1: a lot in the last system. Now this is one pouch.
Speaker 1: So actually this kind of came about by accident in
Speaker 1: a way. So I was trying to create a really
Speaker 1: esthetic tech pouch, so something for like your cables, your charges,
Speaker 1: all your tech stuff and make it really look really
Speaker 1: really nice. And it was actually meant to be like
Speaker 1: a free gift with purchase for Steff Face Planners. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I made it, and I got this pouch like the
Speaker 1: sample came and I fell in love with it.
Speaker 2: It was just it's so beautiful, it looked nice. It
Speaker 2: just looked like such a really cute little clutch.
Speaker 1: And I was like, Okay, well this can't be a
Speaker 1: gift with purchase, like I actually want to be able
Speaker 1: to always have this as like an item in the
Speaker 1: Staff Faced Planter's store. And I ended up calling it
Speaker 1: the tech pouch still, but I really do call it
Speaker 1: it is a life pouch and the reason why is
Speaker 1: because this tech pouch actually have it. Let me get
Speaker 1: it really quick, all right, I got the tech pouch
Speaker 1: here only because if you're watching this or video, you'll
Speaker 1: see So I got this little tech pouch and this
Speaker 1: has everything in it from my medication, like certain cards,
Speaker 1: like makeup. There's like anything I would ever need is
Speaker 1: in this tech pouch. This thing literally saves my life.
Speaker 1: So again, I'm not trying to just sell you as products,
Speaker 1: but have a pouch or something that you've got like
Speaker 1: a little bag and that you can call that your
Speaker 1: life pouch and anything like I'll even put in you know,
Speaker 1: if you get little samples of like perfume or certain
Speaker 1: makeup products I use and things like that, Like I'll
Speaker 1: get the minis and I'll just keep it in there
Speaker 1: so I never have to worry about having to like
Speaker 1: transfer things across all the time from like my makeup
Speaker 1: bag to here. Like it's just mini and I love
Speaker 1: miniature stuff.
Speaker 2: It's so cute. So yeah, having all these little items
Speaker 2: in a bag.
Speaker 1: And you just take that with you everywhere, Like I
Speaker 1: carry mine around my house and Ryan gives me shit
Speaker 1: for it, but it is so so good. So things
Speaker 1: like your charger, air pods, five pens, whatever you want
Speaker 1: to do, like you keep it in your bag and
Speaker 1: it goes from the car to the gym to home
Speaker 1: to the office and it's all together. And I know,
Speaker 1: obviously that just sounds like stuff that's a handbag, but
Speaker 1: a handbag is like so much bulkier and also having
Speaker 1: something smaller but has the mini things in it, have
Speaker 1: like you know, whatever you need and just know it's
Speaker 1: always together in one spot. And you know, losing small
Speaker 1: objects is my forte. I remember when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: I used to always cry because I would always lose
Speaker 1: my polly pocket and be so upset. And it's like, well,
Speaker 1: I didn't really have a chance, did I. I was
Speaker 1: always gonna lose my pollypockets. They're just abnormally small butt
Speaker 1: you're saying that both my girls have actually never lost one,
Speaker 1: so that's pretty impressive.
Speaker 2: Weird.
Speaker 1: System Number seven is if it takes more than two steps,
Speaker 1: redesign it again. This is about having the least amount
Speaker 1: of resistance possible. So if I have to open the drawer,
Speaker 1: lift a lid, find the right section, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to do it. So this is why, when you think
Speaker 1: about it, most of the time people don't put things
Speaker 1: away is because there's too many steps involved. So yeah,
Speaker 1: if you have so, say you just finished your makeup,
Speaker 1: if you have to open your draw then go into
Speaker 1: their unzip your vanity bag and then like put it
Speaker 1: away and then like there's another little pocket and things
Speaker 1: like you're never going to do that. So having things
Speaker 1: like baskets, like baskets are a game changer. I have
Speaker 1: so many baskets. So for me, in my vanity draw
Speaker 1: I've just got open baskets, so I.
Speaker 2: Can open my drawer and throw it in. It's done.
Speaker 2: That's two steps. If it's more than that, it's not happening.
Speaker 1: So you know, it's all about friction and activation energy
Speaker 1: according to science, So in chemistry, activation energy is the
Speaker 1: minimum energy needed to start a reaction, So in behavior
Speaker 1: it's the same the minimum effort needed to start a task.
Speaker 1: So research from Wendy Wood found that habits form fastest
Speaker 1: when activation energy is low. So every additional step doubles
Speaker 1: the chance that you won't do it, And that makes
Speaker 1: so much sense. Like even for me, you know, replying
Speaker 1: to an email that maybe I have to go in
Speaker 1: and get an attachment and then like read something and
Speaker 1: fill something out and then reply. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: reply to that email probably ever, so please don't ever ask.
Speaker 2: Me to do that.
Speaker 1: The less steps, the less friction. And again, our brain
Speaker 1: is lazy, and I'm sorry for saying that. Our brain
Speaker 1: just wants to chill because she's actually holding a lot
Speaker 1: of information. She's not stupid, she's just holding a lot.
Speaker 1: So obviously they're going to try. Our brain is going
Speaker 1: to try and take the easiest route. So this is
Speaker 1: where we think about hooks instead of draws, open baskets
Speaker 1: instead of boxes with lids, clear containers so I can
Speaker 1: see what's inside. So this comes down to one of
Speaker 1: my daughters doesn't like putting her clothes away, which is
Speaker 1: fair because I'm the same. So what I did is
Speaker 1: in her wardrobe. Now we've got baskets for things that
Speaker 1: to be hung up, because you know, we've got the
Speaker 1: drawers and things, and she's fine with that.
Speaker 2: But it's more the hanging.
Speaker 1: I think it's like, obviously, when you have to hang
Speaker 1: something up, you got to go to that part of
Speaker 1: the wardrobe. Usually, open the wardrobe, grab the coat hanger,
Speaker 1: put the clothes on the coat hanger, put it on
Speaker 1: the rail and then close the doors. Like that's a
Speaker 1: million steps. So if she could just open the door
Speaker 1: and then see a basket that says tops, throw a
Speaker 1: top in and she's done, that's it. So that's like
Speaker 1: less steps. So this is where we want to redesign
Speaker 1: it as much as we can. So for me, for example,
Speaker 1: I also suck at hanging my clothes up during the week.
Speaker 1: On the weekend, I have more time, I feel like
Speaker 1: I can do it. But what I have in my
Speaker 1: wardrobe is I have a basket for like a section
Speaker 1: for my gym stuff. I have a basket for like
Speaker 1: tops and things like that, so different sections of the.
Speaker 2: Wardrobe I will have baskets.
Speaker 1: So during the week, when I'm running around and rushing,
Speaker 1: I will chuck it in the basket instead of hanging
Speaker 1: it up. And then on Sundays, I'll just grab my
Speaker 1: baskets and they're already in the right section where it
Speaker 1: needs to go away, so I don't have to think
Speaker 1: about that and I simply put them away. And I
Speaker 1: know that sounds so bizarre, but honestly, baskets like and
Speaker 1: doing things like that makes life so much easier. And
Speaker 1: that's why when they say they don't put it down
Speaker 1: put it away. Like that doesn't work for everyone because
Speaker 1: there's too many steps in the middle. We need to
Speaker 1: redesign all our systems to just be maximum two steps.
Speaker 2: And you can kind of order your house for this.
Speaker 1: So I want you to walk around your house and
Speaker 1: like count the steps for how to put things away.
Speaker 1: So if it's more than two steps, say maybe to
Speaker 1: put your mugs away. If there's too many steps, how
Speaker 1: can you redesign that? How can you change that? It
Speaker 1: could be changing location, So maybe after you unstack the dishwasher,
Speaker 1: you're covered with your cups are way too far away,
Speaker 1: and then you're like, oh, I don't want to put
Speaker 1: these away. So even just like making things close in
Speaker 1: the distance really really helps. And weird system number eight
Speaker 1: is I close my kitchen like a restaurant. I'm sure
Speaker 1: you've heard of closing shift, and it's pretty much the
Speaker 1: notion that at night you should clean up and close
Speaker 1: your kitchen like you would if you worked in hospitality,
Speaker 1: where they have a very strict schedule of how they close.
Speaker 1: And it's the same like when you think about it,
Speaker 1: you know, businesses and things like that, we do quarterly reviews,
Speaker 1: We see what's not working and how we can fix it.
Speaker 1: But we never do that for our home life and
Speaker 1: our personal life and just how our households are run.
Speaker 1: But when you think about it, a lot of our
Speaker 1: stress and a lot of our time does go into
Speaker 1: the house and how things are run at home. So
Speaker 1: why are we doing the same. So you can come
Speaker 1: up with these solutions and like these systems yourself just
Speaker 1: by sitting down and being like, Okay, what's not working,
Speaker 1: what feels hard? And I know sometimes it can be
Speaker 1: a bit hard to be objective because it's just the
Speaker 1: way you've always done things, but it doesn't mean it's
Speaker 1: the best way and the easiest way and the right
Speaker 1: way for you. So don't be scared to kind of
Speaker 1: do random things like buy the same pair of socks
Speaker 1: and that's it. So ten minutes, ten to fifteen minutes
Speaker 1: every night we do the dishwasher, right know, we wipe
Speaker 1: the benches. I even tell the kids, because there's kids
Speaker 1: are never hungry, are in their life until they.
Speaker 2: Have to go to bed. So I'll be like, I
Speaker 2: literally will say, girls.
Speaker 1: Ten minutes in the kitchen is closed, and you can't
Speaker 1: have any like I literally have to run it like
Speaker 1: that because otherwise they don't go to sleep. So yeah,
Speaker 1: wiping the benches, you take out the rubbish, you know,
Speaker 1: fix the laundroom. Even like all those things. I do
Speaker 1: a full closing shift. So future stuff doesn't hate past
Speaker 1: stuff for being a shitheader.
Speaker 2: Not doing it.
Speaker 1: And it is It's all about what scientists call environmental priming.
Speaker 1: So research from Princeton's University of Neuroscience found that visual
Speaker 1: clutter competes for your attention and decreases performance. So when
Speaker 1: you think about it, like when you wake up in
Speaker 1: the morning, you have a lot of things, like maybe
Speaker 1: you could be really pumped for the day. You're like,
Speaker 1: I'm want to smash goals. I want to do this,
Speaker 1: that and the other. If you walk into a messy
Speaker 1: kitchen and a lound room, you are not now thinking
Speaker 1: about the goals you want to do. You're now thinking, oh,
Speaker 1: I need to do those dishes, I need to do
Speaker 1: the washing, I need to do this, that and the other,
Speaker 1: and you're now not focusing on those goals. So you know,
Speaker 1: walking into a clean kitchen in the morning literally just
Speaker 1: gives your brain more capacity to function as well. So
Speaker 1: this is what we're doing here and also like our
Speaker 1: brains are very affected by our environment, as we know,
Speaker 1: but this is especially so for like ADHD people and
Speaker 1: things like that really does affect us. And the thing
Speaker 1: is too like because it's not really just about the dishes,
Speaker 1: it's what emotions come up with having dirty dishes. You
Speaker 1: see the dirty dishes and you think, oh, why didn't
Speaker 1: I do that? And then you feel shame, and then
Speaker 1: you spiral and you're like, oh my god, I got
Speaker 1: to leave for this, blah blah blah, and all these
Speaker 1: emotions start coming up. It's not just there's the dishes,
Speaker 1: I need to do them. It's shame, it's stress, it's anxiety,
Speaker 1: all these things surrounding.
Speaker 2: A dirty plate.
Speaker 1: So let's just do our closing shift and then wake
Speaker 1: up to a nice clean house. It also thinking of
Speaker 1: it as the closing shift, it really does make it
Speaker 1: work because it frames it as a role, not like
Speaker 1: a chore. So when you can frame things as a role,
Speaker 1: that's something a bit more empowering. You're like, this is
Speaker 1: something that I do, and this is like, this is
Speaker 1: how it's done, and that's why I Also, you know,
Speaker 1: like in jobs, you are assigned roles and you carry
Speaker 1: out that task because it's part of your role. So
Speaker 1: reframing it as a role instead of a chore it's
Speaker 1: really is going to help change your mindset around.
Speaker 2: It as well.
Speaker 1: And a little hack for this one is I always
Speaker 1: will play the same playlist for closing shift. It's not
Speaker 1: like upbeat because I am a toddler and if there's
Speaker 1: too many overhead lights on and a loud music, I
Speaker 1: will not sleep that night.
Speaker 2: So I'll have a pretty chill playlist.
Speaker 1: I've got things like red hot Chili peppers in there.
Speaker 1: I've got like train that drops of Jubiter, those types
Speaker 1: of songs, and I will listen to the same playlist
Speaker 1: every time I do it. And that again is a
Speaker 1: cue for my brain to be like, oh yep, this
Speaker 1: is the playlist we listen to when we do this role,
Speaker 1: which is closing the closing shift. So every little thing
Speaker 1: you can do to really help your brain have least
Speaker 1: resistance is what we want to do here. Now look
Speaker 1: the bigger picture here. They're the eight systems. They are
Speaker 1: the eight weird systems I do. They are not revolutionary.
Speaker 1: They are you know, it's one type of sock. It's
Speaker 1: a pouch, my life pouch. It's like hooks, like, it's
Speaker 1: not rocket science. But that's the point. We want the
Speaker 1: least resistance. We want simplicity, and there's nothing wrong with
Speaker 1: having things simple and easy, and we really do need
Speaker 1: these stupidly simple systems to remove the decisions, to remove
Speaker 1: the steps, to remove the thought and the resistance for
Speaker 1: our life just to get a lot easier. And this
Speaker 1: is the type of shit I wish they would teach
Speaker 1: in schools, like, I'm sure the Roman Empire was super interesting,
Speaker 1: but is it going to help me keep up with
Speaker 1: my washing and my life?
Speaker 2: Ad men, No, it's not.
Speaker 1: So I feel like if we could just have this
Speaker 1: type of subject at school on how to keep up
Speaker 1: with life and how to get you know, life, to
Speaker 1: work with your brain, not against it, we would be
Speaker 1: much much happier humans and having to work it out ourselves.
Speaker 1: So just remember, guys, your brain isn't broken. It just
Speaker 1: needs different systems, that is it. And I really hope
Speaker 1: you enjoyed today's episode.
Speaker 2: I love these.
Speaker 1: I've got so many more weird systems that I do
Speaker 1: every day, so I could make this little mini series
Speaker 1: if you guys want, you let me know, and please,
Speaker 1: if you do, try any of these systems, take a
Speaker 1: photo tag me on in Instagram and I.
Speaker 2: Would love to see it.
Speaker 1: And also I would love if you guys could subscribe
Speaker 1: to the show and leave a review. It just helps everything,
Speaker 1: and it helps these tips get to more people that
Speaker 1: need it. All right, bye,