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Speaker 1: Trevor Ronald Handy. Welcome to the You Project, Raggie.

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Speaker 2: Thanks mate, so good to be on with you, bro.

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Speaker 2: We just had a wonderful podcast together last week, didn't

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Speaker 2: we where you came on the Future Lab podcast that

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Speaker 2: we're putting together hasn't launched just yet, but it was

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Speaker 2: so beautiful. Just to reconnect with you and to cracking

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Speaker 2: a bit deeper with each other was really cool, mate,

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Speaker 2: some stoked to be on yours.

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Speaker 1: Well, mate, it's mutual. I loved it.

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Speaker 3: I loved you and I met one hundred years ago

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Speaker 3: for a minute, but we haven't seen each other for

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Speaker 3: a long time. I feel like in some ways we're

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Speaker 3: really different. In some ways, we're kind of almost twins.

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Speaker 3: And of course, the lovely Denise Denise Vaness, who is

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Speaker 3: your co host on the Future Lab, which is going

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Speaker 3: to be launched soon, so keep your ears and eyes

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Speaker 3: out for that everyone.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I really enjoyed you know what.

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Speaker 3: I enjoyed sitting down and we spoke for nearly two

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Speaker 3: hours last week. And you know, time, when you're in

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Speaker 3: the middle of something really good, time evaporates, doesn't it.

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Speaker 3: It's like it's such a slippery construct. It's just I

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Speaker 3: thought we'd been talking for forty minutes, and it was

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Speaker 3: nearly an hour and fifty.

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Speaker 2: You know, and absolutely, And I think time evaporates when

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Speaker 2: you're doing something good and also when there's connection. You know,

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Speaker 2: So as soon as we connect, I think all of

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Speaker 2: the good, bad, right, wrong, you know, win, lose, success, failure,

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Speaker 2: all the bullshit sort of four D sort of stuff

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Speaker 2: just evaporates. And it's just a journey through exploring you know,

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Speaker 2: feelings and thoughts and conversations, and you know, it looks

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Speaker 2: just a little I suppose little bits of intuition and

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Speaker 2: inspiration that we're popping up in the conversation. And I

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Speaker 2: get that feeling a lot when I run breath retreats

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Speaker 2: or I work with people. Time just disappears whenever there's connection.

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Speaker 2: And I think connection trump's time, you know, it actually

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Speaker 2: basically makes it. You know, time is the slave of

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Speaker 2: connection or the other way around, you know. So I

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Speaker 2: think that's probably one of the mistakes we make. As

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Speaker 2: soon as we actually have a desire to connect with someone,

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Speaker 2: everything else disappears, including any feeling shit about ourselves or whatever,

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Speaker 2: because it's something Connection is a very powerful healer, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we spoke. I mean, among other things, last week

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Speaker 3: we spoke. We spoke about living consciously and stepping out

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Speaker 3: of the autopilotness of our existence. Like it's very easy

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Speaker 3: in twenty twenty four with you know, KPIs and to

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Speaker 3: do lists and boxes to tick and teas to cross

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Speaker 3: and eyes to dit and shit to get done and

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Speaker 3: schedules and accountability and processes and fucking winning and posting,

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Speaker 3: and it's very easy to look up and you go,

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Speaker 3: it's twenty twenty six now, and I've basically been in

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Speaker 3: groundhog Day for the last year or two or three,

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Speaker 3: and we're always you know, there's things we're always intending

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Speaker 3: to do, but we don't do those things. How do

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Speaker 3: we open the door on, you know, being a little

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Speaker 3: bit more aware and a little bit more conscious day

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Speaker 3: to day rather than the unconscious kind of autopilot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, great question. Look, I know you do a great

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Speaker 2: job of helping people with this too. But from my

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Speaker 2: perspective and what I've learned is well, firstly, I think

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Speaker 2: it's kind of like two main versions of myself. There's

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Speaker 2: the version of myself that is wrapped up in the

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Speaker 2: mind and the construct of the world, and the need

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Speaker 2: to succeed and perform and prove and get ahead and

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Speaker 2: stay on top and stay in front and stay relevant.

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Speaker 2: And you know, have something special about me to be needed,

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Speaker 2: to be required to be, you know, to stand out

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Speaker 2: in some way, shape or form, you know, And that

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Speaker 2: version of myself is rooted in fear and insecurity that

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Speaker 2: if I'm not relevant, you know that the only way

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Speaker 2: to succeed in this world is to stay in front

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Speaker 2: of the pack. You know. It's not hard to take

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Speaker 2: me from there back to racing. When I'm racing in

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Speaker 2: a pack full of people, that is an iron man

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Speaker 2: in the ocean, you know, And you've got to stay

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Speaker 2: in front of the pack. And the one who wins

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Speaker 2: the race gets the prize money, but he gets the sponsors,

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Speaker 2: and he gets the girl probably you know, at the party.

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Speaker 2: He gets the free drink yard and gets the respect

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Speaker 2: and gets the title next to his name and all

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Speaker 2: that sort of stuff. So even though that feels like

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Speaker 2: a past life, as I've sort of transferred into helping

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Speaker 2: people more and being more of service, I'm still completing

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Speaker 2: this process of I suppose breaking down or dissolving the

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Speaker 2: old or the original ego that needed to be in

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Speaker 2: front needed to prove, need to perform, need to be

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Speaker 2: on top of you know. And so I think that

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Speaker 2: part of me, as I said, fear in insecurity. It

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Speaker 2: operates on the belief that the universe life itself. If

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Speaker 2: you're religious, you might say, God, you know whatever it is,

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Speaker 2: that life itself is not that friendly. I've got to

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Speaker 2: go out there and get it myself. And I've got

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Speaker 2: a there's only a fair share, or you know, there's

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Speaker 2: only a certain amount of resources, and you know, I'm

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Speaker 2: in a competition for them, whether it's love, whether it's money,

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Speaker 2: whether it's respect, whether it's speaking jobs, whatever it is,

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Speaker 2: you know. So I think I have to be for

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Speaker 2: that self to stay alive. Moment to moment. I have

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Speaker 2: to believe that I'm not enough the way I am,

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Speaker 2: and I've got to be more than myself, and that

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Speaker 2: life itself is not enough, that it doesn't have the

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Speaker 2: answers for me. And I know there's an old Christian

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Speaker 2: saying like asking you shall receive, you know, And I'm

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Speaker 2: not religious, but I'm fascinated by the beautiful people that

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Speaker 2: have walked before us, whether it's Christ or or whoever

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Speaker 2: it may be, and they what they said and certainly

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Speaker 2: how it was misconstrued and wrapped into a control mechanism,

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Speaker 2: But the beauty of what they said, asking yourself shall

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Speaker 2: receive has been something I've been really practicing lately, because

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Speaker 2: when I ask and I say okay, I usually use

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Speaker 2: the words universal life, I say, sometimes I say angels.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes I'll say beautiful many, you know, if I'm really

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Speaker 2: need of some emotional help, but I'll say, okay, can

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Speaker 2: you help me? Can you help me make my day

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Speaker 2: effortless today? Can you help me line everything up so

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Speaker 2: everybody comes at me right when I'm available? You know?

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Speaker 2: Can you help me enjoy this and see the fun

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Speaker 2: and the beauty and the whole thing. It's even as

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Speaker 2: simple as that, you know. And then it might be

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Speaker 2: can you help me with the financial resources? Look, I

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Speaker 2: really want to go on that holiday. Can you help

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Speaker 2: me free my calendar up. I actually found myself in

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Speaker 2: the last five or six years, Craig, asking questions like

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Speaker 2: that more and more often. And I'm fascinated to report

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Speaker 2: that whenever I ask and I'm open to receiving, it

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Speaker 2: works out in miraculous ways. So this old self that

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Speaker 2: existed for a long time exists in the belief that

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Speaker 2: that's not possible, that's not available. Got to fight for

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Speaker 2: what you get and someone else is fighting for it too,

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Speaker 2: and it's you versus then, And so that's the underpinnings

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Speaker 2: of the belief of this other me. And then the

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Speaker 2: other part of it is when I'm in that other

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Speaker 2: me far out mate, I'm exhausted, I'm fried, I'm rattled,

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Speaker 2: I'm not happy, I'm not myself, I'm not who I

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Speaker 2: really want to be. I'm not attentive, I'm not caring,

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Speaker 2: I'm not listening, I'm not functioning at the highest level.

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Speaker 2: There's certainly no magic around me or it's very limited.

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Speaker 2: And so not only does it not work for me,

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Speaker 2: you know, moment to moment, it's like a trap. It's

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Speaker 2: like a trap the belief that I'm not enough the

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Speaker 2: way I am, and the world will not give me

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Speaker 2: whatever I need to help me through this scenario, not

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Speaker 2: what I want, but what I need. And so as

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Speaker 2: I've began to shake that, it's like I started, and

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Speaker 2: for those that are listening not watching, I started with

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Speaker 2: this much of that self, that fearful, separate itself, separate

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Speaker 2: from life, that needed to compete to survive and be relevant,

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Speaker 2: and I had this much as an adult that was

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Speaker 2: beginning to become aware of this too much, which is

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Speaker 2: a tiny circle of beingness. And every time I've challenged

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Speaker 2: the old self and this bigger circle that I'm holding of,

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Speaker 2: the old self has shrunk down in its capacity to

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Speaker 2: convince me that I'm smaller and on nothing and I

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Speaker 2: need to be desperate. Every time it shrinks down, it's

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Speaker 2: I'm actually taking energy out of that realm or reality

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Speaker 2: or dimension of this old self, and it's feeding back

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Speaker 2: into this other smaller circle that's expanding, which is my buingness.

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Speaker 2: And it turns out my binginess is much bigger, my

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Speaker 2: simple gentleness is much bigger my timelessness. You know, we

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Speaker 2: talked about connection Trump's time. You know that that's much

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Speaker 2: bigger than this little self. But this little self made

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Speaker 2: itself out to be so big. It's beliefs were so

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Speaker 2: dramatic and all of the fdence that you've got. But

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Speaker 2: I've got kids and I'm mortgage in the house, and no, no,

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Speaker 2: you know, can I stare on this one?

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Speaker 3: Mate?

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Speaker 2: You know? You know, no fuck is going to help me,

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Speaker 2: you know, like I've got I'm on my own, So

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Speaker 2: it's big and dramatic, but it's actually just operates in

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Speaker 2: the belief that I'm not enough the way I am,

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Speaker 2: and life wouldn't help me with what I really really

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Speaker 2: want to need. So that the two selves have been

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Speaker 2: an interesting thing where there's that old saying the white

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Speaker 2: Wolf and the Black Wolf and they're in a fight

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Speaker 2: to the death, and well, how do you know which ones? Everyone?

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Speaker 2: Every man a woman's got the white wolf and the

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Speaker 2: black wolf inside of them, and how do you know

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Speaker 2: which is going to win? What's the one you feed?

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Speaker 2: So the more that I've gone, every time I rush

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Speaker 2: or I get busy, I get out of the moment

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Speaker 2: I go. I can feel myself going rattling. I can

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Speaker 2: feel myself getting agitated. I feel myself needing an answer

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Speaker 2: from the next person, or needing, you know, whatever it

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Speaker 2: is I need, and if I don't get it, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know, And so I'm like far out. It's getting

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Speaker 2: becoming so obvious that I can't be attached to anything.

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Speaker 2: I can still want and need things and like them,

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Speaker 2: but when I'm attached to it like a high need,

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Speaker 2: I'm gone. I can't expect anybody to operate anything other

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Speaker 2: than their current level of consciousness. And they might have

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Speaker 2: been my beautiful best mate yesterday, but they're stressed today,

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Speaker 2: and then there's not listening to me at all. So,

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Speaker 2: you know, could be my partner, could be myself. You know.

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Speaker 2: So I can't expect anything because expectation just destroys you.

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Speaker 2: I can't put significance on things. I've got to have

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Speaker 2: that open because that's basically significance is basically a limitation

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Speaker 2: in disguise. So it means I'm carrying the limitation. Then

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Speaker 2: unless I get that, I'm going to be in trouble.

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Speaker 2: This is not going to work. And so those are

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Speaker 2: a great teacher I once work with. He put those

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Speaker 2: four things together, significance, attachment, limitation, expectation, and it spells

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Speaker 2: sale and you sold. Yeah, puts those four things and

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Speaker 2: he basically said they're the most dominant, predominant hooks that

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Speaker 2: hook us back into out of the now, into the

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Speaker 2: past and future, good and bad, right and wrong, win

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Speaker 2: and lose, success and failure. Richard, poor, fat and skinny,

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Speaker 2: dumb and smart, slow and fast. You know which is

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Speaker 2: ultimately it's good enough, not good enough, acceptable, unacceptable. And

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Speaker 2: I'm happier on abby, you know, it's a present or

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Speaker 2: not present, I'm desperate or not you know, So those

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Speaker 2: four things is you know, when you ask me, how

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Speaker 2: do we stay present in this moment? I teach what

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Speaker 2: I most need to learn, and I'm finding the more

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Speaker 2: I teach it, the more I do learn it, so

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Speaker 2: it's not all don't teach it till I've learned it. Fully,

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Speaker 2: the more it's reflected back to me in different forms,

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Speaker 2: the way other people are staying in the desperation, the

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Speaker 2: more I get to see it in myself, and so

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Speaker 2: what I'm discovering Ultimately, the long answer to this question

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Speaker 2: is the more I'm in service to the moment, in

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Speaker 2: service to the part of me that wants to be

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Speaker 2: in service to others, you know, which is also means

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Speaker 2: in service to the moment. It's not about building an

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Speaker 2: ego that I help other people, because that's that's the

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Speaker 2: same bullshit in disguise. It's more about, oh, we can

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Speaker 2: all win at the same time if somebody in the

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Speaker 2: conversation is present, you know, so presence being in the now, research,

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Speaker 2: looking in and going and the now right now? Am

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Speaker 2: I in the self? Am I trying to serve myself?

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Speaker 2: Is this something I want? And if there is, it

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Speaker 2: has to be totally okay for me to see it. Not,

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Speaker 2: you know, that's wrong. I'm in service to the self.

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Speaker 2: It's like, oh, what part of that, what part of

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Speaker 2: me is still believing I can get something from this

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Speaker 2: person rather than I can give or share something with

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Speaker 2: this person where there's a win win, rather than you know,

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Speaker 2: that's going to serve me. And if you serve me,

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Speaker 2: I'll give you my full attention. But if you're not

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Speaker 2: serving me, I'll dismiss you. You know, the person at

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Speaker 2: the bus stop, the person in the shop. So slightly

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Speaker 2: but surely, I'm moving as the biggert circle, the bigger

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Speaker 2: presence circle, and not what is now becoming the little

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Speaker 2: self which was once the big circle. You know. So

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Speaker 2: I'm finding That's the way I deal with twenty twenty

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Speaker 2: four is I ask myself, do I need to make

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Speaker 2: myself relevant today? Do I need to post that? If

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Speaker 2: I post that, will I lose my presence to gain

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Speaker 2: some future reward? And I'm beginning to go more and

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Speaker 2: more going I caut screw it. I'm not posting anything.

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Speaker 2: I'm actually I'm going to share. And I've just had

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Speaker 2: a beautiful session with someone. I'm going to walk downstairs

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Speaker 2: and be with my family, or I'm going to sit

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Speaker 2: on the belcon, I'm going to walk to the beach,

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Speaker 2: and I'm going to expand my true self, not my

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Speaker 2: little self. And I don't know, I still find it

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Speaker 2: a challenge. I'm in the midst of it. I think

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Speaker 2: i'm past the halfway point because it's easier for me

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Speaker 2: to do now. But I'm grateful to report that. But

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Speaker 2: I love what happens when I'm not in the me,

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Speaker 2: you know, when I'm in when i'm in the ass,

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Speaker 2: when i'm when i'm seeing people as we're all we're

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Speaker 2: all more connected than we are separate.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, it's thanks man, that's beautiful. I love that.

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Speaker 1: It's like one of the challenges.

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Speaker 3: You know, you you know, asking you to receive your lot.

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Speaker 3: You quoted. I think that's in Matthew. I think in

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Speaker 3: one of the gospels, but you spoke before about that,

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Speaker 3: and and there's also in the New Testament talks about

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Speaker 3: this idea of being in the world but not of

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Speaker 3: the world.

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Speaker 2: Right. I love that one. I love it, yeah.

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Speaker 3: Right, and and and I think that's the you know,

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Speaker 3: in all those cliches, and you know, I'm a like

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Speaker 3: having a human, having a spiritual spirit, having a physical experience,

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Speaker 3: and all of those things. And I get yes, yes,

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Speaker 3: And I think the duality of the duality of the

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Speaker 3: human experience man is like, Yeah, you've got to you know,

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Speaker 3: you've got to pay the bills, you've got to stop

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Speaker 3: at the traffic lights. You've got to pay the rent

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Speaker 3: or pay the mortgage or whatever it is. You got

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Speaker 3: to talk to people. You've got to talk to fucking

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Speaker 3: harps on a podcast. You've got to get your shit ready.

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Speaker 3: You've got to be on time. You've got to think clearly.

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Speaker 3: Me too, And so there's all the practical requirements of

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Speaker 3: requirements of being a human. But at the same time, yeah,

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Speaker 3: we want to open the door to the other. You know,

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Speaker 3: it's like that the other in, but not of you know,

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Speaker 3: it's like.

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Speaker 2: What is this? How do I be?

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Speaker 3: And we spoke the other day about how sometimes you know,

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Speaker 3: I show up. I'm sure you do the same. I

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Speaker 3: show up and I do a talk or a workshop

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Speaker 3: with a company, and it's all very cerebral and cognitive

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Speaker 3: and skill and I do a pretty good good job.

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Speaker 3: But it's all me and then there's times when I

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Speaker 3: do a different preparation and it's a bit more you know,

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Speaker 3: a bit of a for want of a better term,

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Speaker 3: a prayer or a meditation, and it's like something's coming

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Speaker 3: through me, not from me, and it's like I'm not

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Speaker 3: the answer at all. I'm just opening the door to

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Speaker 3: the answer. I'm just a contu to the answer, you know.

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Speaker 3: And that kind of when you can like truly not

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's all good to get on podcasts and

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Speaker 3: do stuff where everyone talks deep and philosophically, and it's

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Speaker 3: almost like I think sometimes a pr exercise, and I'm

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Speaker 3: sure I've done that myself, but when you can truly

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Speaker 3: try to get your head around the idea of being

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Speaker 3: something really bigger than you. So I'm just a fucking

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Speaker 3: tiny cog in this great, big, gorgeous machine that's trying

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Speaker 3: to serve and help, and I don't know for me,

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Speaker 3: the more I focus on me, the worst things go.

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Speaker 3: It's like, yes, I need to self manage to appoint,

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Speaker 3: but it's like the more that I think about me

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Speaker 3: and my body and my brand and this, the more

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Speaker 3: the like I need to do that to a point,

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Speaker 3: but I need to know where the cutoff is because

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Speaker 3: if I start to obsess and hyper focus on that,

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Speaker 3: now it's all about fucking Craig and Planet Craig, the

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Speaker 3: Craig Show, then I become a prick, you know, like

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Speaker 3: one of.

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Speaker 1: The things that I was thinking about.

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Speaker 3: So, you know, member of the Order of Australia, six

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Speaker 3: Australian Iron Men Championships, I think, four worlds or something,

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Speaker 3: you know, multiple halls of fame, and you know, like

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Speaker 3: you were the best. You were the best for quite

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Speaker 3: a long time in the world at what you did.

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Speaker 3: You're not saying that. I'm saying that, and your record

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Speaker 3: says that, which is fucking incredible and a planet of

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Speaker 3: eight billion people, I don't know what it was then,

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Speaker 3: probably seven point five. But you are the best in

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Speaker 3: the world at a thing which is fucking incredible. But

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Speaker 3: it's very hard, well, I would imagine it's very hard

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Speaker 3: to think about much else, and I would imagine it's

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Speaker 3: hard to not have your entire sense of self and

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Speaker 3: self worth intertwined with that thing that you are the

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Speaker 3: best in the world at.

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Speaker 1: Tell me about that, Tell.

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Speaker 3: Me about that, and tell me about overcoming that, because

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Speaker 3: that's not who you are.

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Speaker 1: That's just what you were fucking great.

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Speaker 2: At Yeah, yeah, wow, so many places to go here, Okay.

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Speaker 2: And the funny because it just segues right on from

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Speaker 2: the last thing that we spoke about as well, like

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Speaker 2: the self. You know, I was thinking about it before

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Speaker 2: the podcast is I'm I'm feeling Craig and I are

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Speaker 2: really going to chat about letting go of the self today,

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Speaker 2: the self, you know, the little me, and we're clearly

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Speaker 2: going to revolve around this one for sure, and I

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Speaker 2: think it's a really powerful thing. I think. Firstly, before

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Speaker 2: I answer that question, I just want to say that

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Speaker 2: the one thing I've discovered is that the me, the self,

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Speaker 2: the I planet, Craig planet, Trevor planet, whoever, it operates

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Speaker 2: under the idea that we're separate, you know. So I

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Speaker 2: love viewing God as source, you know, as doesn't have

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Speaker 2: that connotation of God. I love seeing it as source

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Speaker 2: because it just makes it feel like it's the source

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Speaker 2: of everything, you know, source of life. It's the life force,

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Speaker 2: you know, and I know that we when we're in

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Speaker 2: our clearest moments, we feel like we're sharing the same

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Speaker 2: life force. And you're talking about doing your speeches and

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Speaker 2: when you're in that almost prayer, meditation or speaking your

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Speaker 2: truth rather than your skills. You have this thing that

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Speaker 2: happens is almost like that holy spirit or moment. The

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Speaker 2: moment comes through or the spirit or and it's something,

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Speaker 2: something is transcended and people go, oh my God, and

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Speaker 2: you know, and you know, I get it a lot

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Speaker 2: where people go, oh my God. You know, you can

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Speaker 2: look at six hundred people and six hundred people are crying,

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Speaker 2: you know. And so how did we get to this place?

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Speaker 2: Not by the story, but by the essence or the

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Speaker 2: honesty or the vulnerability or the connectedness that's coming through

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Speaker 2: the story. And so something magical happens in that moment,

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Speaker 2: you know. And so the I always say that the

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Speaker 2: great lie is that we are separate. You could call

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Speaker 2: the great lie, the great distortion, the great The truth

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Speaker 2: is we share the same life force. We're much more

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Speaker 2: like than we are different. And we you know, I

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Speaker 2: love eck Tolls thing that your primary purpose in life

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Speaker 2: is to know yourself as source, you know, and your

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Speaker 2: secondary purpose is to do something with it. As soon

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Speaker 2: as you lose your primary purpose while doing your secondary purpose,

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Speaker 2: you've got to return to your primary purpose. So you

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Speaker 2: know yourself a source and then you're going to try

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Speaker 2: and help with your people. But then you start taking

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Speaker 2: what you're saying seriously, and you start defending your position,

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Speaker 2: and you start trying to promote it and sell it,

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Speaker 2: put some gloss on it, and you've actually lost the

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Speaker 2: primary purpose, which is know yourself as source to deliver

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Speaker 2: this secondary purpose which has help other people with it.

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Speaker 2: So that the great revealer, or the great truth revealer

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Speaker 2: is is that we are all source, or we are

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Speaker 2: all one. So that sounds a bit strange, right for

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Speaker 2: a lot of people. A lot of people are like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, yes, I'm ready for that. Some people

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Speaker 2: are what the hell are you talking about? But I

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Speaker 2: know when I stand up and do a talk, I

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Speaker 2: noticed that when I started to tell the story about racing.

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Speaker 2: So if I told the story in the old days

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Speaker 2: about the racing and it showed how special I was,

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Speaker 2: and I utilized it to motivate people, afterwards, I would

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Speaker 2: feel like I'd done a good job, but I'd feel

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Speaker 2: a bit icky on the inside, like a bit like oh,

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Speaker 2: I just kind of like I don't know, you know,

404
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Speaker 2: like self flatulation, you know, and but everyone to be

405
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Speaker 2: cheering you and clipping and saying what a great story.

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Speaker 2: He's a great bloke, he's the guy next door. And

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Speaker 2: so the rules of this current planetary situation would say,

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Speaker 2: you've done a great job today, you really hit the mark.

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Speaker 2: You've inspired my crew. And then I'd noticed that the

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Speaker 2: CEO would say that's just what they needed to hear,

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Speaker 2: you know, like the CEO is the guy that knows

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Speaker 2: everything and that you know, or the leader or whatever.

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Speaker 2: And then I so in the world of duality, when

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Speaker 2: I started to discover, oh my god, I need to

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Speaker 2: not be telling my not needs to be not about

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Speaker 2: my story, but you know, opening about who we really are,

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Speaker 2: or talking about life itself. And it's like I've gone

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Speaker 2: from and the eye man to being a sort of

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Speaker 2: a religious figure or a spiritual figure or something else.

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Speaker 2: And it was like that was actually quite a duality.

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Speaker 2: It seemed like an advancement from the eye man up

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Speaker 2: to the spiritual guy, but actually it was just a duality.

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Speaker 2: You know, talking about winning from a place of winning

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Speaker 2: or talking about spirit from a place of winning. But

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Speaker 2: I was still in the place of winning. So I

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Speaker 2: started to realize that it's not one or the other.

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Speaker 2: So I tell my story a lot, and I say

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Speaker 2: to people, look, don't believe anything I say. You have

429
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 2: all your own answers, But I don't tell a story

430
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 2: about me. But what I'm hoping is you'll hear a

431
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 2: story about you. The name states and places are different,

432
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,439
Speaker 2: and the intensities of the different patterns are different. But

433
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 2: I'm going to boil it down to the bottom line.

434
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 2: Where I felt insecure in myself as a kid. I

435
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 2: grew up with great values from a parents that actually

436
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 2: really sacrifice a lot to give me some great things.

437
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 2: I took that as a security and a certainty that

438
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,440
Speaker 2: I would always have that. Then I felt a sat

439
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:01,919
Speaker 2: from that and I had to break out from that.

440
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 2: But then it went out to the rest of the world.

441
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 2: You know, this is a story that takes an hour

442
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 2: and a half often, but I'll give it to you

443
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 2: in two minutes. Minute and a half is that when out

444
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 2: of the rest of the world, met all these other

445
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 2: people who also had the same insecurity. But now it's

446
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 2: seeing the person who had the strongest ego or persona

447
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 2: or I had the greatest attributes of a winner seemed

448
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 2: to control all the insecure people. So he was the

449
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 2: least insecure on the surface, and we were the most

450
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 2: insecure around him. So that's the dog eat dog alpha

451
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 2: world of growing up in a surf club or a

452
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 2: football club or could be a netball club or you

453
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,160
Speaker 2: know whatever, it is a friend's circle. And so after

454
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 2: a while, you know, I kind of got you know,

455
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 2: bad rights of passage where I got sort of flushed

456
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 2: and initiated and taken through the trials and tribulations of

457
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 2: being someone in that group you know of dog eat

458
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 2: dog males. And then I started to see women as

459
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: objects that if you can hook up with that woman,

460
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,640
Speaker 2: that you are more popular or more secure the next day,

461
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,040
Speaker 2: and you know, you've got some credit in the bank

462
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 2: and that amongst the boys and all this sort of stuff.

463
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,880
Speaker 2: So women with one something I feared, but then something

464
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 2: I had to master so that I could actually get

465
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 2: a strength because I needed to be able to be

466
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 2: with a woman or whatever it was. So this is

467
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 2: some pretty messed up stuff that's starting to go through

468
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 2: a young man's mind. And then I look at oh,

469
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 2: the winner of the Australian title, and you know, he

470
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,880
Speaker 2: gets the girl, He gets the last laughs, he even

471
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 2: got my girlfriend while I was had my back turned.

472
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:29,159
Speaker 2: You know, he gets all the control he's big, I'm small.

473
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,880
Speaker 2: He gets the last day, he gets to decide when

474
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 2: we go in and out of the surf. He says

475
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 2: the funniest things. I say the stupidest things. So after

476
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 2: a while I'm looking seems to be the winner gets

477
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 2: all the credit and all the respect and all the power.

478
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:48,919
Speaker 2: And so I then look at another winner, Dwayne Tires

479
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,119
Speaker 2: in my life, who id lives, used to write me

480
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 2: postcards from overseas and everything. Is five years older than me.

481
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,880
Speaker 2: He was the world iman champion. So there's a young

482
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 2: winner that was a year older than me, and I

483
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 2: wanted to be like him or beat him, to destroy him.

484
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: I'll become like him so I can destroy him. And

485
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 2: because he's making me feel this way, this is all

486
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 2: obviously unconscious and starting to ruminate away in my mind.

487
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 2: But then Dwayne is my positive example of it over there,

488
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 2: who I love and he seems to respect me and

489
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,160
Speaker 2: see some beauty him. At this stage, I'm fifteen or sixteen,

490
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 2: never won a race in my life. And then the

491
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 2: coach of the world champion comes in, Billie Haylock, and

492
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,160
Speaker 2: gives us to set these goals. He does this incredible

493
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 2: motivational speech, so I feel like he's talking just to me,

494
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 2: and I put my hand on the pillow like he said,

495
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 2: and I dream up the goals that you know, I

496
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 2: would only dream with my head on the pillow, not

497
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,439
Speaker 2: the ones that I think I could achieve. So I

498
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 2: write this incredible goals out and they're one year, two year,

499
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 2: five year, ten year, sporting goals, and they're sporting professional

500
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 2: personal goals. Make more friends, get a girlfriend, get married,

501
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 2: to have a car, house, million dollars, have a house

502
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,440
Speaker 2: on the water, sports car, win this title when that title,

503
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 2: win more titles than anybody, you know, be a speaker,

504
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 2: you know, all this sort of stuff I write down

505
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 2: as a fifteen sixteen year old has never won anything.

506
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,199
Speaker 2: Fifth out of sixth in my own surf club in

507
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 2: a junior in the Junior Ironman, the kid had got

508
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 2: six As my best mate. I talked him into the

509
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 2: club championships because he couldn't paddle a ski, so I

510
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 2: wouldn't finished last, you know. And so the cunning you know,

511
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 2: the cunningness, and I and then this thing trips in

512
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 2: me where I go, no, I want to be the

513
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 2: Australian Ironman Child Champion, because he'll get he doesn't. He

514
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 2: won't be treated like this. He won't have trouble getting

515
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,400
Speaker 2: the girl. He won't. He'll get to call the shots.

516
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 2: And not only that, this this, these people I'm dealing

517
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 2: with are so mean and unreasonable. When I become the

518
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 2: Australian Champion, I will change all the rules and I

519
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 2: will make it fair for everybody, and I will be

520
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 2: the guy that looks after everybody. Just just a quick

521
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 2: you know, the morning I turned turned into the same.

522
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: As you're like the Deli Lama of iron Man. I'm

523
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 3: just going to fuck it. I'm going to change the culture.

524
00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 2: Jack, the surf club, the culture, all this stuff that's

525
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 2: going on over there. I'm going to see it over there.

526
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,360
Speaker 2: I'm not going to see it inside of myself. I'm

527
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 2: not going to see my desire to win and defeat

528
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 2: everybody else, you know. And so I became the world

529
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 2: champion in a very short period of time, three years straight,

530
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,360
Speaker 2: and I opened champion in two years, you know, amazing

531
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 2: experiences and everything else. And I would say that what

532
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 2: happened was the spirit of my father taking us around

533
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,200
Speaker 2: Australia for two years when I was three to five

534
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 2: years of age in a caravan and growing up playing

535
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 2: with indigenous kids, with our First Nations people, and you know,

536
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 2: learning to swim in the daily river in the Northern

537
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 2: Territory and finding my way back to the caravan after

538
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 2: a forty five minute walk in the bush, and you know,

539
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,880
Speaker 2: all of the great values that my mother and father

540
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 2: and my sister die had instilled in me. I went

541
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 2: into the surf club under the dog a Dog Doggy

542
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 2: Dog world, and then I went, I'm going to throw

543
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 2: all them away because none of them have made me

544
00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 2: safe in this environment. In fact, they've probably set me up.

545
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:04,160
Speaker 2: You know, my gentleness has become the target on my forehead,

546
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 2: you know. And so when I walked into the club

547
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 2: the first day and realized that they were talking about

548
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 2: me up in the bunk room to flush me and

549
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 2: initiate me like everybody else had been. But the only

550
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 2: words I heard is who does he think he is?

551
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 2: Riding his pink girl's bike around? And I had this

552
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,159
Speaker 2: tough black Melbourne Star bike and I got in a

553
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 2: car crash with the car destrove my bike and I

554
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 2: had to ride my sister's bike around, my sister's pink

555
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 2: girl's bike. But I was so determined to keep training,

556
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 2: and to get myself to training, I rode the pink

557
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,679
Speaker 2: girl's bike. And then I find out that my friends,

558
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 2: not so much my friends. I thought it was all

559
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 2: of them, but it's clearly one of them. And then

560
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 2: he had his own insecurities and own fears and everything else.

561
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 2: And I love and appreciate the role he played in

562
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: my life of making me go through these experiences. But

563
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 2: literally it was an experience of ah, the pink girl's bike.

564
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 2: So I just thought, anything that looks like a sissy,

565
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 2: a girl, gentle caring, I've got a tough enough ru this,

566
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,239
Speaker 2: you know, pairing love inside of me. So all the

567
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 2: beautiful values I have with my mum and dad became

568
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 2: my enemy, right, But then my connection to my mum

569
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 2: and dad. So I've got this weird thing I've got

570
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 2: to do where I've got to be a couple of

571
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 2: different people. So with mum and dad, I've got to

572
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 2: be the gentle guy and you know, just answered nicely

573
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 2: and did it there and be the you know, the

574
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 2: son that they respected. That he's a nice, gentle guy,

575
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 2: and he doesn't drink or smoke or swear, you know,

576
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 2: and he's nice. He's nice to women and everything else.

577
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 2: And then when I was in this other world, I

578
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 2: was the player, I was the guy, I was swearing,

579
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 2: I was carrying on. Eventually I was drinking. I never

580
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 2: sm never smoked a cigarette in my life, never had

581
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 2: a path, you know, just for some reason, I wasn't.

582
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 2: I've had half a cup of coffee in my life.

583
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 2: Is just the way life worked out for me. Never

584
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 2: a drug person. And but my goodness, when I started

585
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 2: to go out with these insecurities that I'm not enough,

586
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 2: even though I'm winning, I've still got the insecurity that

587
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 2: I'm not enough. And then but now I'm walking in

588
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 2: as the champ and I'm getting the drink cards. And

589
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 2: it's not like somebody who's dealing dealing drugs, maybe they're

590
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 2: the coke dealer or whatever, and they're surrounded by the

591
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 2: bevy of beauties, you know, because they're handing out the candy.

592
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 2: And I was like that I'd get the free drink

593
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 2: card because like Tray, while you're back, you know, the

594
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 2: Gold Coast boy and growing up in Sevice prols, you

595
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 2: just won the world told of the Australian Total. The

596
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 2: uncle Toby's Ray said come on, and then we'd be

597
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 2: surrounded by people, so you know, the world of temptation

598
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 2: and the world if you don't have to feel alone anymore,

599
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 2: you don't have to feel small anymore, you don't have

600
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 2: to feel like a no one. You're someone now you

601
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 2: can actually take all the things that you deserve from

602
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 2: all the hard work you've done. And it's just this

603
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 2: convincing thing in your mind. So in the end, I

604
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 2: became the guy or the guys that I wanted to

605
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 2: be like to beat them so I didn't have to

606
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 2: be like them. But it sounds insane, but I was

607
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 2: trying to be like somebody else so I could eventually

608
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 2: be myself, And of course that didn't work, so I

609
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 2: ended up with broken relationships and marriages and a body

610
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 2: that was reflecting that shoulders tender. Notice the way I

611
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 2: carried myself in races was through aggression and defensiveness, and

612
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 2: I'd look smiling on the surface but scratch below it.

613
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 2: I was like, in a win it all cost mentality racing,

614
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 2: I'd only breathe on one side, so I ended up

615
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 2: imbalanced and all this other stuff because I'd be like

616
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 2: I'm going to you know, and I'd default to the

617
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 2: mail side that has to smash and destroy everybody and

618
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 2: put them back in their place. And so you know

619
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 2: what's crazy about all that, Craig, is that I basically

620
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 2: just described building a house, you know, putting all the

621
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 2: foundations in place and the structures and the walls and everything.

622
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 2: And in the end, I've got this room right in

623
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 2: the middle where no one can get to me. And

624
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 2: then I got to build a big yard around maybe

625
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 2: a motor a pick at fence, and put some security

626
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 2: cameras up. And then I'm going to maybe build some

627
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 2: land around a long driveway and you know, slightly but

628
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 2: surely to keep for people further and further away from

629
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 2: this original little kid that was on the inside. So

630
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 2: when I I tend to tell that story in a

631
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 2: minute half but it went into the longer version.

632
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 1: But when I tell you there's no hurry, mate, no hurry.

633
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 2: Well good? Where did I tell that story to people?

634
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 2: And then I talk about, you know, the infidelities and

635
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 2: the way I lost myself and the way I was

636
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 2: ended up being two different people that who I am

637
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 2: wouldn't do that, but what I'd become, no problems, wouldn't

638
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 2: think twice. In fact, that was what winning was all

639
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 2: about you know. So in that success and failure thing,

640
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 2: the little Gentleman was the failure and the dominance covering

641
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 2: over myself. You know, in a lot of work that

642
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 2: I do, and this is work is borrowed from someone else,

643
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 2: it's the front cover. The front cover is the winner,

644
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 2: the projection to people that I've got it all together.

645
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 2: The back cover is the insecurity, that the deepest fear

646
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 2: that people might see that I don't feel worthy, I

647
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 2: don't feel enough. So you can build a pretty big,

648
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 2: strong front cover that in some ways it really pushes

649
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 2: further out from you to push people further away. But

650
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 2: as it's pushing further out, it pushes closer up against you,

651
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 2: so there's no room for the real you. In the end,

652
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 2: the bigger it gets, there's less room for the real

653
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 2: me to show through. So I wasn't showing through a

654
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 2: relationship and family and friendships. Even in my relationship with myself,

655
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 2: like what I would do to care for myself became

656
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 2: completely misgigstrued. Oh that's caring, having a night out, that's caring,

657
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 2: giving yourself some time off, you know. So the bigger

658
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 2: the front cover got, the bigger the back cover was

659
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 2: as well, because now I had more things to worry

660
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 2: about that people might see, Oh you did that, no

661
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 2: one knows, and oh look at you. It's like it's

662
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 2: almost like the Devil's going, ah, now I've got you

663
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 2: in the track. You can't ever show anybody, but you

664
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 2: can still feel good if you went and did it again.

665
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 2: And it's so it's like this fascinating thing where the

666
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 2: self became bigger and bigger and bigger until something had

667
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 2: to give. At first gave in my body, but it

668
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 2: gave in before that. It gave him my relationships. But

669
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 2: you can actually just say, oh, that person's not the

670
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,800
Speaker 2: right person or that person, that's not what they're talking about.

671
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,280
Speaker 2: It's not to let a tax in on your own body,

672
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 2: your own maybe, your own mind, your own mental health.

673
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 2: You know, because I was in the ocean all the

674
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 2: time and I was a positive guy. I wasn't attacking

675
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 2: my mental health as such to operate day to day,

676
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 2: but certainly emotionally, I was stuck in this place. But

677
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,359
Speaker 2: it was the body that collapsed first. And I went

678
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:39,479
Speaker 2: to a chiropractic, amazing man, Keith Maitland, and he said

679
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,920
Speaker 2: to me two things. One is that you appear to

680
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 2: be dairy and tolerant, you know. And I'm thinking, don't

681
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 2: take chocolate and ice cream often. It's the only thing

682
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,439
Speaker 2: people alive, you know. And then he said, you also

683
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 2: appear to be angry. You know, you've got some anger

684
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 2: issues that you suppressed anger. And I'm standing there smiling

685
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 2: at him, ver seeing him for the first time, this

686
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 2: guy that I've been recommended to go see. My body's

687
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,479
Speaker 2: all in a collapse mode. He told me you won't

688
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 2: win another world Your body's telling me you won't win

689
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 2: another world title unless you resolve a few things. Looks

690
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 2: like some intolerance is perhaps dairy, and looks that you

691
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:17,280
Speaker 2: might have some suppressed anger. And I'm standing there smiling

692
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,319
Speaker 2: looking at him, Craig, and I'm at the same time,

693
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 2: I'm smiling, aren't you. Oh yeah. There's a part of

694
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,720
Speaker 2: me going in the background, like hacting behind me, going

695
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 2: the fuck is this guy thinking? Is well suppressed anger?

696
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 2: What I still couldn't get past the fact that he said,

697
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 2: you won't win another world titler. I'm three times world champion.

698
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 2: Like it was the first time I became aware that

699
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 2: I had an ego, because before that, the ego was

700
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 2: in my face, you know. And this saying came up earlier.

701
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,800
Speaker 2: It was another I think it's another one from the Bible,

702
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 2: right is I can see the splinter in your eye,

703
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 2: but I can't see the log in my own, or

704
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 2: something like that. There's something about yeah.

705
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 3: Also in the Gospels it says, don't point out the

706
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 3: splinter in your brother's eye, you know, basically when you've

707
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 3: got a beam in your own yeah. Another words, yeah,

708
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 3: you've got enough of your own bullshit with us, you know.

709
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 2: Yep, And so I had I had the you know.

710
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 2: The other analogy is the star face. And for those starfish,

711
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 2: for those that are listening or watching, I've got my

712
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,720
Speaker 2: hand up against my face in the shape of a starfish.

713
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 2: It's so pressed against that you can't see it. So

714
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 2: I couldn't see that. I'd become I'd believe my own press.

715
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 2: I'd become the front cover and the back cover taken over.

716
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 2: The beingess in me was this tiny little circle that

717
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 2: I related to earlier. And the ego or who I

718
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 2: thought I was was this massive big bit. Now was

719
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 2: the thing. It was the show. I was the show.

720
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 2: I was the guy, you know, brought ratings, brings, sponsors, oh,

721
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 2: he walks in and he's got an aura. Well, the

722
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 2: aura was my beingness being utilized by my ego. You know,

723
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:58,320
Speaker 2: because in my in my beingness, I have a gentleness

724
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 2: and a presence when I'm in it. That I do

725
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: know that people go, oh my god, I feel so

726
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,400
Speaker 2: loved by you or supported by you. But the aura

727
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 2: was being utilized by the ego to go look at

728
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 2: this being the show. You know. Anyway, I was so

729
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 2: angry at old Keaty and I couldn't believe it, and

730
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 2: then I just went I had this moment where I meant,

731
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 2: mental note to self, too, I do appear to be

732
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 2: angry about what he said, you.

733
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 3: Know, no anger issues. I am very fucking angry right now.

734
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 2: The man with no anger is feeling very violent, like

735
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,439
Speaker 2: I want to puck this guy out.

736
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 3: You know, the iron Man kills chiropractice kills chiropractice.

737
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 2: So he later told me, he said, you know those pictures,

738
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 2: you know where someone's in a hurricane in Florida or

739
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 2: something and they're holding onto a lamppost and their feet

740
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 2: are coming off the ground. He said, when I told

741
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 2: you you had anger issues, he said, it was like

742
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 2: I held onto the pole, and the energy coming out

743
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 2: of you made my feet come off the ground, he said.

744
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 2: He looked at me like I think you are. But

745
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 2: because that's not functional or social, and I use my

746
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 2: intelligence to fool myself. I just smiled and nodded, because

747
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 2: what I thought was what I'd do with everybody at

748
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,600
Speaker 2: that stage, was I'll just get you back later. In fact,

749
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,799
Speaker 2: what I thought was this, how ridiculously stupid the ego is.

750
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 2: In my own ego, I thought, he said, so if

751
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 2: you come back tomorrow, I can do some work with you.

752
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: Didn't touch me. I'll just do some work with you,

753
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 2: and we can begin the journey of rectifying this. And

754
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:35,359
Speaker 2: my ego said, I'll come back tomorrow, all right, I'll

755
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 2: come back tomorrow to prove you wrong. So I was

756
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 2: going to go back and see him, to get fixed

757
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 2: by him, to prove that I didn't need to be

758
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 2: fixed by him, and to go win the world title

759
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 2: with his help, to prove that I wouldn't win the

760
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 2: world title without his help. And so that's how insane

761
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,959
Speaker 2: that is, right, And I looked fine to the story

762
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 2: as I drove off down the road and I went

763
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,880
Speaker 2: up over Burley Hill. He was at Palmi and I

764
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 2: went up over Burle Hill and I'm shaking my shoulder

765
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,879
Speaker 2: and my body. I'm driving the car. I'm thinking, here's

766
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 2: this guy I think he is. I'm thinking of my manager,

767
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 2: trying to work out what my managers it's because my

768
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 2: manager is this and he sent me to him. You know,

769
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 2: I'm just hating on everybody right and I'm I'm grabbing

770
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,840
Speaker 2: everything I can. Ego is just trying to put me

771
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 2: back in the hole that I was in because Keith

772
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 2: had pulled the lid off somehow. I didn't know it yet,

773
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 2: but I drive over Burlie Hill and I'm like, and

774
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 2: he didn't it? And I go and I'm moving my

775
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,839
Speaker 2: shoulder around like I'm angry. And then I realized I've

776
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 2: got no pain in either of my shoulders. I've got

777
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 2: no pain in my hip and no pain in my

778
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,280
Speaker 2: arch because my whole right hand side of my body

779
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 2: was out of whack, which I'd later understood that's the

780
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,400
Speaker 2: male side of the body, that's the doing side. It

781
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 2: was all out of whack. It was the yang side,

782
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,879
Speaker 2: and it was not being nurtured for a long long

783
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 2: time because it was in there just smashing, you know,

784
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 2: smashing everybody to win. So I I went wow, and

785
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 2: I'm moving around. I'm like, there was no pain, and

786
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, there's no pain. Then I I said to myself,

787
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,360
Speaker 2: but he didn't touch me. But he didn't touch me.

788
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 2: And this voice that used to come in when I

789
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:07,759
Speaker 2: raced often as like an intuition. It would say, you

790
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 2: got to go your own way in the singing voice,

791
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 2: go your own way, that be in my head. You

792
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 2: got to go your own way and go out through

793
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 2: the ocean a different way to everybody else. And that's

794
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 2: quite symbolic, isn't it. And he said, and this voice goes,

795
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 2: he told you the truth, clear as day, told you

796
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 2: the truth. I'm like, and I didn't stop and go

797
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 2: where's that voice coming from. I just was like, told

798
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 2: you the truth? And I went what. And then all

799
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 2: of a sudden, the whole coming down Burly Hill under

800
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 2: the northern side, all the green trees went bright green.

801
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 2: Everything went from a two D flat image to a

802
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 2: three D. There was depth and everything. I went from

803
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 2: vibration inside of myself to stillness. And I'm driving down

804
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 2: the hill and I'm observing myself driving, my hands on

805
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 2: the wheel, and I'm like, what is going on, and

806
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 2: I felt this beauty and this love and this peace,

807
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 2: and I'm circulem going along, driving going what did he.

808
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 3: Do to me?

809
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 2: You know, like what happened? I'm like, oh my god,

810
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,839
Speaker 2: I have to go back tomorrow, you know. And by

811
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: the way, I went back from both. I went back

812
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 2: from the benus, from the spirit that was fascinated, and

813
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,319
Speaker 2: the ego still went back in the background going at

814
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,479
Speaker 2: some point in time, I still hope to prove him wrong,

815
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 2: you know, I still have to get one back up

816
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 2: on him, because it seems like he's won the competition.

817
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 2: But so I tell parts of that story and whatever

818
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:31,359
Speaker 2: part relates, and eventually I tell the story how it

819
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,759
Speaker 2: led me to the realization that I was so off

820
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,800
Speaker 2: track that when my son TJ was born, I wasn't

821
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 2: the man that I really wanted to be. And I

822
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 2: won't go into that story today, but it was the

823
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:43,800
Speaker 2: wake up call I needed to see his big brown

824
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 2: eyes staring back at me. And I just won my

825
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 2: fourth World iron Man title, and after Keith had said,

826
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 2: you know you are in another I worked with him

827
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 2: won the fourth. I won eight out of ten races

828
00:41:55,880 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 2: international races that year, international level races got two seconds

829
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 2: and I won that title. And I crossed the line

830
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 2: and my goal for my whole iman career is to

831
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 2: perfect the iron Man race. And I crossed the line

832
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 2: and I went, oh, my god, I just perfected the race.

833
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 2: It was the only time I ever felt like I

834
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 2: perfected the race. And as I went past the cameras

835
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 2: and the people because they'd moved us to another beach

836
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 2: from Big Surf and we're in like a harbor and

837
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 2: I run, beach is pretty short and I go through

838
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 2: the line and there's nothing. It's right on dark because

839
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 2: we've been moved, and there's a sheer rock wall in

840
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,800
Speaker 2: front of me. And I was like, you've just perfected

841
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 2: the race. And then I went, oh, crap, what do

842
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,319
Speaker 2: I do next? And the very next image was a

843
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 2: sheer rock face and that sheer rock face was so

844
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 2: sim by Craig. I cannot explain to you my pregnant

845
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 2: wife that I wasn't truthful with and I, you know,

846
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 2: I was trying to leave and we'd already broken up, basically,

847
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 2: I with our second child, you know, with that's Jackie,

848
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 2: my first wife, and and were married at nineteen. Because

849
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 2: you know, I was so insecure, we're married, you know,

850
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 2: all this sort of stuff. So I was like two

851
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 2: people through that relationship. But so I'm not being true

852
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 2: to her, not being true to myself. The rock war

853
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,840
Speaker 2: was like all the lies and the deception. It was

854
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 2: the slippery rock face that I had to confront and

855
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 2: deal with. And I'd always had this saying about the

856
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,799
Speaker 2: conditions are always perfect, you know. It's what are they

857
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:25,840
Speaker 2: perfect for? That perfect for me to do my skills today,

858
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 2: or my heart rate or my fitness or my trust

859
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 2: or whatever it is, you know, And it occurred to

860
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 2: me ultimately the conditions were perfect if I wanted to

861
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 2: become the man I needed to be for my son

862
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:40,959
Speaker 2: to be born and have a father that could really

863
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 2: be like my father, that held values that were strong,

864
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 2: you know. So it took me down a path of

865
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 2: four or five years of personal development and looking at

866
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 2: the shadow and digging all this stuff out, and I

867
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:54,799
Speaker 2: finally had the impetus. It was like it was like

868
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 2: no relationship or no no one for whatever reason could

869
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 2: get me to change this. And then somehow TJ had

870
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 2: this thing that his big brown eyes made me go,

871
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 2: enough is enough, and I should have been able to

872
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 2: do that for Christelle, my first daughter, for anybody else.

873
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,840
Speaker 2: But for whatever reason, I needed just one more piece

874
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 2: of information and one more piece of spirit to said, listen, Asho,

875
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 2: you have lost your way. You've got to find your

876
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 2: way home. Like your father taught you, to get back

877
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 2: to the caravan. You've got to get back to where

878
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 2: the heart is. And I was presented with opportunities, and

879
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 2: one of which was my son having this amazing day

880
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 2: at KINDI that it was Piatet's dat Kindy, and I

881
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:36,360
Speaker 2: tell the story which I won't go into today, but

882
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 2: I had to go speak to all these men, you know,

883
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 2: farmers and sons, and ultimately I realized I had to

884
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 2: go to Piet's day at Kindy, and I went to

885
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 2: that pirate's day. And as I sat there, it was

886
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 2: like my son looking at me, TJ going, Dad, you

887
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 2: finally chose purpose. You finally chose at the moment you

888
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 2: stopped training. You're not being the guy. You finally chose

889
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 2: by choosing me, chose your heart, you know. And this

890
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 2: whole change occurred. And then he told me, Dad, you've

891
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 2: got to go. You've got to get your plane. I'm like, mate,

892
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 2: the plane's going to go another plane's waiting for you,

893
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 2: and this whole story about it's this incredible serendipity, this

894
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 2: incredible silver lining. It dropped in and I braced off

895
00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 2: to the airport after being with him and filling his

896
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 2: cup and him filling my cup. Got to the airport

897
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,799
Speaker 2: and the plane was waiting because it suffered happened, and

898
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 2: I got as soon as I got on the plane

899
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 2: that were we're ready to go, and I flew off

900
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,799
Speaker 2: and I got to do all of it and have

901
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,439
Speaker 2: all of it, which goes back to what we talked

902
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 2: about earlier about being able to have it all that

903
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 2: the universe is a friendly universe when you put the

904
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 2: heart first, when you let the heart lead you. The

905
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:43,839
Speaker 2: heart has the mat to make all the sums add up.

906
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 2: The brain doesn't have the math does make all the

907
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 2: sums had out that the heart has a circular math.

908
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 2: The brain has a linear math that straight line maps,

909
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:55,839
Speaker 2: and the heart has the feminine mass the circular We're

910
00:45:55,880 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 2: all in this together. And so when I tell that story, Craig,

911
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 2: you know, in its entirety, which is an hour and

912
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 2: a half and all the bits and pieces, it's more

913
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:09,839
Speaker 2: often than not that everybody's crying in it because they

914
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 2: realize that I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about them,

915
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,279
Speaker 2: talking about how hard we've tried to be the thing

916
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,359
Speaker 2: we've needed to be, but how much we've traded off

917
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 2: who we really are, who we think we need to be,

918
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 2: to get what we think we need to get so

919
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 2: we can be ourselves. But we never quite get ourselves.

920
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 2: We never hear in the moment where we're ourselves, and

921
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:32,479
Speaker 2: how the people to get swept up in and caught

922
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 2: up in at most are our children and our loved ones,

923
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 2: our partner, the people around us, even our workmates and

924
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,759
Speaker 2: everything else. And so the stories actually goes from it's

925
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 2: a story about me to a story about all of us,

926
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,799
Speaker 2: which means it's a story about great values leading to

927
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 2: exchanging values for crooked values, to lost and failure into winning,

928
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,800
Speaker 2: into more lost and failure. Because I won from something

929
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 2: that wasn't from my higher self through to a resurrection

930
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,920
Speaker 2: and a phoenix out of the ashes and through to

931
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:05,719
Speaker 2: it was always there the whole time. I was just

932
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 2: listening to the wrong voice, you know. And so I

933
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 2: find that now I'm not telling a story about myself

934
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:17,720
Speaker 2: and losing everybody, or telling everybody about the spiritual path

935
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 2: and losing everybody. I'm telling a story about myself finding that,

936
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 2: and I end up meeting everybody in that place where

937
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 2: we can all relate, you know. And there's a saying

938
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 2: that came to me one time. I've utilized a lot

939
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 2: in teamwork and everything. I just popped into my head.

940
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,799
Speaker 2: I don't know where it came from, but it is,

941
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 2: we can travel a lot further over common ground, you know,

942
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 2: and when we realize we've all got the same stuff,

943
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 2: the telling of my story can actually release someone else

944
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 2: from theirs, you know, and then they then they're then

945
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 2: they feel comfortable to enter into their own story and

946
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:55,360
Speaker 2: look at it and perceive it because they go what

947
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 2: you supposedly the winner. You've got all these titles through

948
00:47:58,160 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 2: in the Hall of Fame, blah blah blah. You got

949
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 2: is after your name. You know, you're on Baywatch, you

950
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,400
Speaker 2: hung out with MADONNAE, you met Michael Jackson. You know

951
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 2: you did it da Dad? You know you you you

952
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 2: were one of those people you and like, hang on, no,

953
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 2: you're not, You're me, And it just takes the whole

954
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:16,840
Speaker 2: thing away. And not only that, by the way that

955
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 2: I'm a man talking about love and talking about forgiveness

956
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:25,919
Speaker 2: and talking about resurrection and unconditional love, and that there's

957
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,839
Speaker 2: a gentleness that comes out of me that was there

958
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,760
Speaker 2: in the start. You know that I just had hidden

959
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 2: between the front cover and the back cover. So I'm

960
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:35,719
Speaker 2: not even sure if I answered the original question, but

961
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 2: I certainly I loved it.

962
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:40,719
Speaker 3: I mean what it like so many things out of

963
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 3: that for me, like a hundred questions and a hundred thoughts,

964
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 3: But like the idea that you know, this young, beautiful, loving,

965
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 3: compassionate where a kid felt the need that he needed

966
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 3: to create a persona to be this like personal. Yeah,

967
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,080
Speaker 3: you were the person and then you had to be

968
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 3: come this persona of aggression and high performance and with

969
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 3: the doe and the girls and the what you know,

970
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 3: the power and the coolness and the but that's you know,

971
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 3: I think that's almost not not that story, of course,

972
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 3: But you know, I think everyone has to find, you know,

973
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:23,400
Speaker 3: that space between the person that they are and the

974
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 3: persona that they present to the world. And and you

975
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:31,360
Speaker 3: know that could be that can be terrifying, and that's

976
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 3: a very acute exercise in you know self amnness.

977
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 2: And you know, can I add something to that, craigy

978
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 2: for sac when I cut down into it, you know,

979
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 2: I wanted to be like my dad. I get emotional

980
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:48,840
Speaker 2: when I say this, you know. I wanted to be

981
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,919
Speaker 2: like my dad. My dad was my god, my hero.

982
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 2: My dad's now ninety with dementia in a home, you know,

983
00:49:56,239 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 2: ten years through dementia, and it's into my eyes and

984
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 2: he's still communicating through his eyes. You can't speak, you know.

985
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 2: And what did I love about what my dad had?

986
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 2: He seemed to have respect, He had the love of

987
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 2: an amazing woman, my mother. They traveled everywhere together, they

988
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 2: made decisions together. They were a team, they were a unit,

989
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 2: you know. And I wanted to be like my dad.

990
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 2: But the thought inside of me, Craig, was, I'm not enough.

991
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 2: I'm not my dad. I can't be I can't be

992
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 2: like my dad. A most freakly skinny little kid, freckly

993
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 2: you know, like getting right down to the raw. Honestly,

994
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 2: I'm a freakly small dick, skinny little kid, runt of

995
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,839
Speaker 2: a kid that's got nothing going for it, you know

996
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,839
Speaker 2: like that? You know how mean the voice in your

997
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 2: head is, it just picks whatever it can to make

998
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:57,959
Speaker 2: you into not enough, not even a man physically, you know, like.

999
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 1: Other than other than that a complete winner.

1000
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:05,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, other than that, other than being a complete, disastrous

1001
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 2: loser and really a waste of breath. Yeah, other than that.

1002
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I suppose I'm okay every now and then,

1003
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 2: you know, so when I'm really honest about it, it's like,

1004
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,359
Speaker 2: why did that dysfunction come out? Because it's like that

1005
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 2: whole attempt was to be loved. I desperately wanted to

1006
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 2: be something that would be worthy of love, to be loved,

1007
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 2: to be enough, to be enough to be loved. So

1008
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 2: the bottom line of the illusion, the distortion and the

1009
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 2: shadow was it's like a voice in your head going,

1010
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 2: you're a fucking nothing. You're a fucking nobody. You'll never

1011
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,320
Speaker 2: be like your father, You'll never be like these great people.

1012
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:47,759
Speaker 2: Who do you think you are? It's like a really

1013
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,719
Speaker 2: quite violence, you know, self talk back there somewhere, and

1014
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:53,800
Speaker 2: I don't even know that it's self talk. I almost

1015
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 2: think that it's like it's a thing that comes into

1016
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 2: a lot of young boys and a lot of young men,

1017
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 2: and a lot of young girls and a lot of

1018
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 2: young women people all around the world says, who do

1019
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:03,319
Speaker 2: you think you are, you're a nothing, you got and

1020
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 2: it almost goads us into giving up on our intrinsic

1021
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 2: values and trading them off for something that will make

1022
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:16,360
Speaker 2: that pain go away and you know, make me feel lovable.

1023
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:20,799
Speaker 2: So at a deep, vulnerable level, it's about love, but

1024
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 2: at a psychology level, it's like I'm channeling some other

1025
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 2: dark force that goes, don't let this guy see that

1026
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 2: he's lovable the way he is. Don't let this guy

1027
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 2: see that he's actually been you know, he's inherited some

1028
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 2: wonderful values and everything else. Don't let From one level,

1029
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 2: there's other energies like do not let him see that

1030
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:42,800
Speaker 2: his gentleness is the only thing he ever needs that

1031
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 2: will save the day many many times, you know. So

1032
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 2: there's something about the violence of the self talk that

1033
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 2: says we are not enough the way we are, and

1034
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,799
Speaker 2: that I think we've very rarely acknowledged the degree to

1035
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,319
Speaker 2: which it's. Why can we not shake it? Because the

1036
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:08,360
Speaker 2: things just demanding to be to be listened to and obeyed,

1037
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 2: You are nothing. You need to use me to become something.

1038
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 2: It's almost like you're trade off with the devil. With

1039
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 2: it said, i'll give you power, you'll be lovable. You'll

1040
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 2: be so loved, You'll be loved by everybody. It's like

1041
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 2: it's very much like a seduction, you know, because I

1042
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 2: realized I'm still shaking it off myself. But when I'm

1043
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,240
Speaker 2: not in it, I feel just so loving and connected

1044
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,440
Speaker 2: to everybody and just shut up and I just listen.

1045
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:35,239
Speaker 2: You know. It's it's just a beautiful place to live.

1046
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:39,719
Speaker 2: And when I'm when I'm not feeling that gentleness, that

1047
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:43,759
Speaker 2: stillness inside of myself, I go into needing to prove

1048
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 2: and win and everything we said back at the start.

1049
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 2: So but when I boil it down to it at

1050
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 2: a heart level, I just realized that it was actually

1051
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 2: about being like my dad. That was where I first

1052
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:57,319
Speaker 2: felt not good enough, and the illusion that I had

1053
00:53:57,360 --> 00:54:01,920
Speaker 2: to be exactly like him, rather than seeing, you know,

1054
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 2: receive his love and allow that to give me strength,

1055
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:09,239
Speaker 2: rather than be like him, receive his unconditional love and

1056
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 2: allow that strength to stay with me while I went

1057
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:13,319
Speaker 2: through the journey. I needed to to be my own

1058
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 2: version of that, and probably ultimately, at some level that's

1059
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 2: what happened, because he loved me unconditionally right through all

1060
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,880
Speaker 2: the obscurity he handled for me and all those races,

1061
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 2: all those years, you know, and when I was hiding

1062
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 2: things and not being true to myself and a part

1063
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 2: of a bit of a posse of men having a

1064
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:33,799
Speaker 2: great time in life, you know, being superstars. He still

1065
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 2: just backed me and loved me. He didn't encourage me

1066
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:38,200
Speaker 2: to keep doing that. He didn't stop me from doing anything.

1067
00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:41,040
Speaker 2: He just quietly went, don't need to know what you're doing.

1068
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:42,400
Speaker 2: I'm just going to love you. And it's like he

1069
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:46,840
Speaker 2: demonstrated what I ultimately needed was just to stay present

1070
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:48,760
Speaker 2: until I could go all the way through this journey

1071
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:53,359
Speaker 2: and come out. And I find that perhaps gentleness is

1072
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 2: more wise now. You know, if I hadn't kept it

1073
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:57,880
Speaker 2: from the start, I wouldn't have this experience. If I

1074
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 2: hadn't trade it away for some temper glory, you know,

1075
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have the certainty around who I really am

1076
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:07,440
Speaker 2: and who we really all are, and how wonderful the

1077
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:11,000
Speaker 2: journey of losing yourself in the darkness actually is when

1078
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 2: it helps you find your light and really trust it.

1079
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,360
Speaker 1: I'm writing that down, losing yourself to the darkness.

1080
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 3: You know, it's like I feel like for you and

1081
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 3: maybe for a lot of people, Trev we need to,

1082
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 3: I don't know, go on a journey that ultimately might

1083
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:35,120
Speaker 3: be somewhat self destructive to do the full circle like mine.

1084
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:37,840
Speaker 3: I told you the other day when we were talking

1085
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:40,920
Speaker 3: on your show. My part of my story was taken

1086
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 3: steroids when I was young.

1087
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:43,720
Speaker 1: I was in my twenties.

1088
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 3: Building businesses, building brands, lots of dough. I had five

1089
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 3: businesses at one stage, bricks and mortar businesses. I had

1090
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:54,040
Speaker 3: one hundred staff, blah blah blah, all that shit, right,

1091
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:55,920
Speaker 3: and not that any of that was bad, but none

1092
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 3: of it was who I was. And one of the

1093
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 3: you know, there's this there's this divergence or there's this

1094
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:08,920
Speaker 3: space between the appearance of success, like you appeared really successful,

1095
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 3: so did I, but the experience, like I had all

1096
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:15,560
Speaker 3: these people telling me how great I was doing and

1097
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 3: had you had that times a million, because I'm just

1098
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:21,840
Speaker 3: fucking shitkicker, but you had that times a million.

1099
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 1: But in the middle of all of that, look, you're

1100
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:28,520
Speaker 1: a fucking superstar. You're crushing, killing, hustling, winning. In the

1101
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:30,279
Speaker 1: middle of all of that, what.

1102
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:34,760
Speaker 3: Appears to be the high watermark for success, That isn't

1103
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 3: your experience like experience for like success for me is

1104
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:42,320
Speaker 3: an internal state.

1105
00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 1: Am I calm, am I joyful? Am I living with purpose?

1106
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,560
Speaker 1: Am I serving others? And I know people will roll

1107
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 1: their eyes, but fucking try it.

1108
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:57,240
Speaker 3: It's just it's it's again, nothing wrong with winning races

1109
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:00,400
Speaker 3: or making lots of dough of themselves. They are not

1110
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:04,799
Speaker 3: They're not bad things, but it's the relationship that you

1111
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:07,719
Speaker 3: have with that. It's like money is not the root

1112
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:09,680
Speaker 3: of all evil. The love of money is the root

1113
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:12,480
Speaker 3: of all evil. Like these things are just tools and

1114
00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:15,239
Speaker 3: resources and they don't mean anything until we put a

1115
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 3: human in the picture. Yeah, And so it's like in

1116
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 3: the middle of the chaos and the mayhem and the

1117
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 3: fucking success and the money and the whatever it is,

1118
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 3: and the brand and the you know, the Hall of Australia, sorry,

1119
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:31,920
Speaker 3: Hall of Fame, this and that, all the shit that

1120
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 3: you did, which was fucking amazing.

1121
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 2: But if in the.

1122
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 3: Middle of that you're a prick, or you're miserable, or

1123
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:43,640
Speaker 3: you're disconnected, or you're you're fucking emotionally spiritually bankrupt, what's

1124
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:44,680
Speaker 3: the point.

1125
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,320
Speaker 2: Or you're hiding something from your wife or your family

1126
00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 2: or yourself. Yes, you know, you start hiding from other

1127
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:52,480
Speaker 2: people in the end, you hide it from yourself. Yes,

1128
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 2: you know you forget that. Oh shit, actually I forgot that.

1129
00:57:57,120 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 2: I'm not really about that. You know, you said something earlier,

1130
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:04,160
Speaker 2: said you know, you said, I'm just a shit kicker,

1131
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:06,720
Speaker 2: And I know you're partly joking as well, but also

1132
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:11,320
Speaker 2: I know that there's a humility in that. Right. What

1133
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 2: I've discovered is that the story is the same for

1134
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,400
Speaker 2: all of us. It's just we're learning it in different

1135
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 2: ways for different reasons, because potentially we have a slightly

1136
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:24,200
Speaker 2: different purpose. You know, you came through your channel and

1137
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 2: what you've learned makes you an incredibly stable, beautiful man

1138
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:28,880
Speaker 2: to be around. I said this to you on the

1139
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 2: podcast last week. I sat there in love with you.

1140
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,720
Speaker 2: I was in love with you, you know, I was

1141
00:58:34,760 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 2: sitting there in the love going, oh my god, I

1142
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 2: can feel this space around you. Man, You've made it

1143
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 2: so safe for people to walk their journey because of

1144
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:46,320
Speaker 2: how precarious your own journey's been. So the compassion understanding

1145
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:48,360
Speaker 2: you've had to have for yourself has created a safety

1146
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 2: for others. You know, and set you're free. So I

1147
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:54,640
Speaker 2: just think what a gift has come out of the dark.

1148
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 2: You know, that creates more lights, so you know, is

1149
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 2: there dark and light well a level, but ultimately it's

1150
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:05,200
Speaker 2: all serving us to hop into this vortex, to this

1151
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 2: funnel and actually find our way out of this bullshit

1152
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 2: where we compete with each other. But I feel, you know,

1153
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 2: often relate to people. I say, my realization was it

1154
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 2: was switching from win it all costs to win on

1155
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:22,640
Speaker 2: all levels, you know, And I say, it's a win

1156
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:29,240
Speaker 2: on all costs mentality to a win on all levels understanding. Yeah,

1157
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 2: And I can tell when people have got it because

1158
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 2: they noticed the difference between mentality and understanding, you know,

1159
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:37,240
Speaker 2: because when they say, ah, I went on all cost

1160
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 2: mentality to a win on all levels mentality, It's like, no,

1161
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 2: it's not a mentality, it's an understanding that oh my god,

1162
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:45,840
Speaker 2: I am you, you are me. We all got the

1163
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:48,280
Speaker 2: same shit going on. Even if you can't see this

1164
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,960
Speaker 2: big amazing thing that the Jogis and Christ and everyone

1165
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 2: else has spoken about. We are all one, you know,

1166
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:57,440
Speaker 2: the Christ conscious of the unity conscious. This is amazing

1167
00:59:57,440 --> 00:59:59,600
Speaker 2: thing that can be tapped into without sitting six months

1168
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:03,160
Speaker 2: in a ca It's actually inside of everybody. But with it,

1169
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 2: just leave that alone. It's like, oh, maybe it's the

1170
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 2: top rung on the ladder we need to be climbing.

1171
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:10,160
Speaker 2: Is the recognition of oneness, But don't worry about that.

1172
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:12,600
Speaker 2: As long as you're on the right ladder. The RUMs

1173
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 2: work their way down, and you know, you work your

1174
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:16,960
Speaker 2: way and just take care of the rung that you're on.

1175
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 2: But ultimately, the simplest way of saying it is, if

1176
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 2: you really stop and scratch by the surface, the person

1177
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 2: walking past you in the street will have a story

1178
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:26,640
Speaker 2: that will fascinate you, and you'll have a story that

1179
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:28,960
Speaker 2: will fascinate then, and they'll have a depth and a

1180
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:31,440
Speaker 2: root in the story that you'll understand and you'll appreciate

1181
01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:35,640
Speaker 2: because you can relate to and so will you for them.

1182
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:39,600
Speaker 2: So it's not actually the oneness is not the problem.

1183
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:43,840
Speaker 2: It's the perception of otherness. It's the perception that you're

1184
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:48,960
Speaker 2: a different skin color, a different financial status, a different gender,

1185
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 2: a different you know, religious, you know bent, you've got

1186
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:58,040
Speaker 2: a different emotion running through you at the moment, you

1187
01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 2: look angry and I'm a peaceful person. Bot you we've

1188
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:03,560
Speaker 2: all got the capability of being angry, you know. So

1189
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:06,880
Speaker 2: the appearance is out on the surface. That's the way

1190
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:10,560
Speaker 2: that all expresses itself. I can't often say. It's like

1191
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:13,959
Speaker 2: saying that you saw a wave break and you said,

1192
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:18,040
Speaker 2: I understand the ocean. Now you know? You know, No,

1193
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 2: you saw the wave break, and you saw the wave

1194
01:01:20,120 --> 01:01:21,880
Speaker 2: break behind the wave break behind. You look left and

1195
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 2: there's more breaking down. Then you look more right and

1196
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:25,000
Speaker 2: there's more breaking down. Then you look at the point

1197
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:26,480
Speaker 2: and they're wrapping around the point. You look at the

1198
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:28,800
Speaker 2: reef break and they're surging over. You look at the

1199
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:31,000
Speaker 2: gutter and they're coming through and surging on the shore.

1200
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,919
Speaker 2: You look at the sandbank and they're spilling on the back.

1201
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 2: The waves are breaking many different ways based on the

1202
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 2: dynamic that they're meeting. You know, they circumstances of their life.

1203
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:43,280
Speaker 2: But where has every single one of those waves come from?

1204
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:46,280
Speaker 2: While it's an energy force that's come from an energy

1205
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:51,800
Speaker 2: force pressed onto the ocean, so oneness is going through

1206
01:01:51,800 --> 01:01:54,640
Speaker 2: an experience. The ocean would be the oneness, and it's

1207
01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 2: going through an experience of local conditions and local weather,

1208
01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:01,520
Speaker 2: and it expresses itself in waves. It's very much how

1209
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 2: an individual is. And when the wave breaks, what does

1210
01:02:04,280 --> 01:02:06,440
Speaker 2: the wave do? It doesn't go up the beach into

1211
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:08,960
Speaker 2: the car park, wash, the shopping center away, keep going

1212
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:13,040
Speaker 2: up to the mountains. When the wave breaks, it expels

1213
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:15,800
Speaker 2: its force to whatever was given in the first place,

1214
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:18,880
Speaker 2: and it releases its force up the shore, and then

1215
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:21,400
Speaker 2: it runs back down. It goes under the next wave

1216
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 2: breaking and joins the water that's going back out to sea.

1217
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,240
Speaker 2: And where does that wave? Where does that water go to?

1218
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:32,480
Speaker 2: It joins the ocean again. It temporarily expresses itself. So

1219
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 2: to say I saw a wave and I understood the ocean,

1220
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:39,440
Speaker 2: only if you saw its relationship with the whole ocean.

1221
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:41,960
Speaker 2: It'd be like saying, I've seen that person and I

1222
01:02:42,040 --> 01:02:45,360
Speaker 2: understood if you can see the way that person relates

1223
01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 2: to all of us and the ocean they come out of.

1224
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:52,040
Speaker 2: So ultimately, there's this beauty in seeing who we are.

1225
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:54,760
Speaker 2: And I recognize that I'd been on a ladder in

1226
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 2: my life, and at the top of the ladder was clouds,

1227
01:02:57,840 --> 01:02:59,840
Speaker 2: and I just wanted to get my head above those clouds.

1228
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:03,439
Speaker 2: I climb that ladder like a determined mofo. I used

1229
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 2: some great characteristic traits and great spiritual determination and great

1230
01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 2: things that I could later use for other things. No

1231
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:12,680
Speaker 2: one get in my way pushed people off the ladder.

1232
01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:15,280
Speaker 2: I'm getting to the top because I've got to get

1233
01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:17,800
Speaker 2: my head above those damn clouds, because I'm not going

1234
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:20,600
Speaker 2: to stay under these clouds one more day. I eventually

1235
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 2: overtook everybody on the ladder, pass broke all the records,

1236
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:26,080
Speaker 2: got up the top, and then young people started following

1237
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:28,200
Speaker 2: me up, you know, people I was coaching and training

1238
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:30,160
Speaker 2: with me. And I get to the top of the ladder,

1239
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:32,480
Speaker 2: and in the symbolism, it's actually how it appeared to

1240
01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:36,320
Speaker 2: me as as I stuck my head through the clouds

1241
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:39,160
Speaker 2: and grabbed onto the top rung of the ladder. I

1242
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:40,919
Speaker 2: pulled my head through the clouds, and I could see

1243
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:43,720
Speaker 2: the blue sky above the clouds, the one that's the beauty.

1244
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:47,800
Speaker 2: And I looked up. The first thing I noticed was

1245
01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:51,000
Speaker 2: the ladder I was on didn't go any further. It

1246
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:53,440
Speaker 2: only allowed me to stick my head above the clouds,

1247
01:03:54,520 --> 01:03:57,960
Speaker 2: you know. And I actually looked over across the beautiful

1248
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 2: top of the clouds, rather than violent underneath them. I

1249
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:03,520
Speaker 2: looked across the top and I saw this other ladder

1250
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:06,160
Speaker 2: that came up through the clouds and kept going all

1251
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:09,720
Speaker 2: the way. And on that other ladder was all these humble, simple,

1252
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:13,720
Speaker 2: beautiful people climbing up mining their own business, not looking good,

1253
01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:16,760
Speaker 2: not looking great, you know, not looking like winners, not

1254
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:20,560
Speaker 2: in the hall of not cleans honors around there. You know,

1255
01:04:20,920 --> 01:04:23,080
Speaker 2: they could have all those things, But the ones on

1256
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:26,360
Speaker 2: that ladder were the ones that were actually just attending

1257
01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:31,080
Speaker 2: to the the desires of the heart. And I looked

1258
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 2: over and went, oh fuck, I'm on the wrong ladder,

1259
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:37,400
Speaker 2: you know. And I started trying to climb down the ladder.

1260
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 2: And as I was climbing down, I'm stepping on the

1261
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:42,960
Speaker 2: heads and the fingers and the shoulders of all the

1262
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:46,000
Speaker 2: people that I said, come with me, We're going to freedom.

1263
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,600
Speaker 2: Come on, kids. I was the leader of the pack,

1264
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,080
Speaker 2: like the pied piper on the wrong ladder. And then

1265
01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:53,960
Speaker 2: I'm climbing back down and they go, what'd you see

1266
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 2: what's up there? And I'm going, We're on the wrong ladder,

1267
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:58,280
Speaker 2: and they're going, bollshit, this is the right ladder. And

1268
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 2: now I'm climbing over them and I'm around them going

1269
01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:03,120
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, we're on the wrong ladder, and they're

1270
01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:05,200
Speaker 2: going I've got to see for myself, and I'm like,

1271
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:07,280
Speaker 2: fair enough, I'm just getting off this ladder and I

1272
01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:10,480
Speaker 2: climbed back down over everybody, and one by one all

1273
01:05:10,560 --> 01:05:12,920
Speaker 2: those friends and people around me stuck the head up

1274
01:05:12,920 --> 01:05:16,760
Speaker 2: through the clouds. Well, I well. I proceeded to eat

1275
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:20,040
Speaker 2: humble Pie to get off the ladder. I was on

1276
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:22,720
Speaker 2: humble Pie to crawl my way across to the base

1277
01:05:22,760 --> 01:05:25,040
Speaker 2: of the other ladder. Humble Pie did begin to be

1278
01:05:25,080 --> 01:05:28,120
Speaker 2: invited to even climb that ladder, and started working all out,

1279
01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:30,440
Speaker 2: just looking at the self, looking at my own bullshit,

1280
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:33,080
Speaker 2: looking at Oh my god, what an illusion like having

1281
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 2: to be a laugh at myself. And the further I

1282
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:39,800
Speaker 2: got up that other ladder, I started, you know, getting

1283
01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:42,840
Speaker 2: a tap on the feet or like here hey, and

1284
01:05:42,880 --> 01:05:44,800
Speaker 2: I'm like looking and they're running from the other ladder

1285
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:47,280
Speaker 2: over to this and going I'm following you, you know.

1286
01:05:48,040 --> 01:05:50,400
Speaker 2: And that's the easiest way I relate to win. It

1287
01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:52,600
Speaker 2: all costs to win on all levels. I literally got

1288
01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:54,880
Speaker 2: that vision in my mind. I went, oh my god,

1289
01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:57,440
Speaker 2: I'm on the wrong ladder, you know, And no one

1290
01:05:57,480 --> 01:06:00,680
Speaker 2: would believe me, because you have to see it for yourself.

1291
01:06:01,320 --> 01:06:04,240
Speaker 2: So what I'd say to people when people told me that,

1292
01:06:04,800 --> 01:06:06,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but but I'm on a

1293
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:08,880
Speaker 2: good thing, I'll do it differently. And I had to

1294
01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:12,880
Speaker 2: see it for myself, and so I think I've learned,

1295
01:06:12,920 --> 01:06:15,480
Speaker 2: don't interfere with other people's journeys. Tell them that you're

1296
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:18,200
Speaker 2: changing ladders if you want or a different ladder, and

1297
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:20,640
Speaker 2: if they ask for your help, reflect back what they want.

1298
01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:23,720
Speaker 2: But otherwise, mind your own bloody business. You know, people

1299
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:27,560
Speaker 2: are actually the failure they have today might be the

1300
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:31,000
Speaker 2: impetus they have, you know, the egos desire they have

1301
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:33,000
Speaker 2: today will be the failure they have to demirow, which

1302
01:06:33,040 --> 01:06:34,959
Speaker 2: is the impetus they have to change the day after,

1303
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:36,919
Speaker 2: which is the awakening they have the day after that.

1304
01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:39,360
Speaker 2: So who am I to tell them they're on the

1305
01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:41,800
Speaker 2: wrong ladder or the wrong place. It's like, go for

1306
01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:44,960
Speaker 2: a man, have the experience. It's pretty amazing, And I'm

1307
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:47,320
Speaker 2: with you. Whatever you do is what I've learned, you know,

1308
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:51,160
Speaker 2: because you know, I think I've had to apply that

1309
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:53,440
Speaker 2: to myself and go Even when I discover that I'm

1310
01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:55,640
Speaker 2: still full of shit and I'm still at this moment,

1311
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:57,280
Speaker 2: i still want to punch someone in the face, and

1312
01:06:57,400 --> 01:07:00,680
Speaker 2: I still want to fight to defend my my viewpoint,

1313
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:02,880
Speaker 2: I have to go back to the base of the

1314
01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:05,080
Speaker 2: ladder again. Go are you're still holding on to being

1315
01:07:05,200 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 2: right or winning? You know you have to crumble it again.

1316
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:10,360
Speaker 2: You have to start at the beginning.

1317
01:07:11,080 --> 01:07:13,720
Speaker 1: You're always going to be acutely human, mate, that's the

1318
01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:16,560
Speaker 1: that's the that's the skinny.

1319
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:17,040
Speaker 2: You know.

1320
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:18,360
Speaker 1: It's like you're always.

1321
01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:20,320
Speaker 2: That's the gift, isn't it. It's the ground You're.

1322
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 1: Always You're always a work in progress.

1323
01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:25,040
Speaker 3: It's like I always say, if I wait, if I

1324
01:07:25,120 --> 01:07:27,400
Speaker 3: wait until I've got all my shit together before I

1325
01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:31,560
Speaker 3: coach or teach or support or encomage your podcast, I'm going.

1326
01:07:31,480 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 1: To live in a cave till I drop dead.

1327
01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:38,120
Speaker 3: So so with all of my bullshit strengths, weaknesses, gifts

1328
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:41,360
Speaker 3: and flaws, I'm going to show up and whatever that

1329
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:42,800
Speaker 3: looks like, try to help people.

1330
01:07:43,120 --> 01:07:43,360
Speaker 2: Mate.

1331
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:47,000
Speaker 1: We need to wind up, but I don't want to

1332
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:49,440
Speaker 1: wind up. I want to do like twenty more podcasts

1333
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:49,880
Speaker 1: with you.

1334
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:53,200
Speaker 2: Let's come back for part two mates soon.

1335
01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:54,600
Speaker 1: I would love to.

1336
01:07:54,600 --> 01:07:57,080
Speaker 3: I would love to, and I'm sure, like I'm going

1337
01:07:57,120 --> 01:08:01,120
Speaker 3: to tell you now, I never say this like this

1338
01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:03,680
Speaker 3: is probably I don't know what this is one thousand

1339
01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 3: and five hundred and thirty or forty.

1340
01:08:06,160 --> 01:08:10,920
Speaker 1: It's maybe my favorite podcast, definitely in my top view

1341
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 1: ever and I've done six years.

1342
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:15,160
Speaker 2: Of them, so oh, thank you Mane.

1343
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:18,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it is. You know, here's the thing that

1344
01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:23,080
Speaker 3: you as you were talking then kind of dawned on me. Sometimes,

1345
01:08:23,280 --> 01:08:26,240
Speaker 3: you know, I might open the door and I go,

1346
01:08:27,280 --> 01:08:30,759
Speaker 3: let's talk about, you know, the concept of success, Trevor,

1347
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:33,719
Speaker 3: let's talk about you know, what is personal growth?

1348
01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:34,320
Speaker 2: You know.

1349
01:08:35,640 --> 01:08:38,880
Speaker 3: So we talk about these things objectively with our brain

1350
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:41,200
Speaker 3: and then we analyze it without, you know, and we

1351
01:08:41,320 --> 01:08:47,280
Speaker 3: deconstructed scientific and that's not bad. But sometimes, you know,

1352
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:50,840
Speaker 3: it's like, even with myself, sometimes I need to get

1353
01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:53,880
Speaker 3: out of the way to get whatever it is that

1354
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:56,439
Speaker 3: needs to come through me out, you know, I need

1355
01:08:56,479 --> 01:08:58,880
Speaker 3: to get the craigness, you know. And sometimes even on

1356
01:09:00,160 --> 01:09:03,760
Speaker 3: even on my own podcast, Less from Me is More,

1357
01:09:04,400 --> 01:09:09,200
Speaker 3: And you talked a lot, but I loved every word,

1358
01:09:09,439 --> 01:09:14,639
Speaker 3: and I you know that sometimes I'm probably over talking now.

1359
01:09:14,680 --> 01:09:19,960
Speaker 3: But sometimes I finish a podcast and it's like, not often,

1360
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,559
Speaker 3: but every now and then I'm like, yeah, I'm not

1361
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:26,760
Speaker 3: sure that person says all the things and they're super articulate,

1362
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:30,040
Speaker 3: and you know, I don't know that I don't know

1363
01:09:30,320 --> 01:09:33,280
Speaker 3: that away from the microphone, that's what's really going on.

1364
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:38,320
Speaker 3: But with you, with you, you are just you're fully present,

1365
01:09:39,040 --> 01:09:41,720
Speaker 3: you know what's and all good stuff, bad stuff, you know,

1366
01:09:42,960 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 3: and it's truly a gift. It's truly a gift to

1367
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:48,320
Speaker 3: chat with you, to connect with you, and to bring

1368
01:09:48,360 --> 01:09:49,280
Speaker 3: you to my audience.

1369
01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:54,479
Speaker 2: So thanks, mate, thank you, and my perspective. Mate. I

1370
01:09:54,520 --> 01:09:56,920
Speaker 2: said this on our podcast last week. I love and

1371
01:09:56,920 --> 01:10:00,479
Speaker 2: appreciate you. I love being with you. I sat with

1372
01:10:00,520 --> 01:10:03,160
Speaker 2: you last week and I was like, oh, man, I

1373
01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:06,479
Speaker 2: love being with you. You know, like I it's such

1374
01:10:06,560 --> 01:10:08,599
Speaker 2: a beautiful thing. It's like, oh, We've got so much

1375
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:11,600
Speaker 2: more to explore together. And you know, just even just

1376
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:14,320
Speaker 2: like as you said, like a brother, like a twin.

1377
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:16,519
Speaker 2: You know, in some ways it's like, my god, our

1378
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:20,680
Speaker 2: journey is so similar. You know, it's just so obviously

1379
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:23,719
Speaker 2: so different. But the obvious is out on the external

1380
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:25,839
Speaker 2: it's like judging it by the waves that are breaking.

1381
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:27,479
Speaker 2: But when you go back to the ocean, it's like,

1382
01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:29,960
Speaker 2: my god, we've actually walked the same journey around fears

1383
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:32,919
Speaker 2: and insecurities and you know, and back on the podcast

1384
01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:35,760
Speaker 2: we spoke about you had some challenges around your weight,

1385
01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:39,120
Speaker 2: you were too you you felt you were too fat.

1386
01:10:39,400 --> 01:10:42,479
Speaker 2: I felt I was too skinny. Yeah, you know, we've

1387
01:10:42,960 --> 01:10:45,919
Speaker 2: ended up in the middle somewhere with strong male bobbies,

1388
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:48,439
Speaker 2: just to make sure nobody ever criticizes the game, you know.

1389
01:10:49,439 --> 01:10:51,600
Speaker 2: So we're coming from different angles. But I love the

1390
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:54,160
Speaker 2: fact that life's made as collide again, mate, and I'm

1391
01:10:54,600 --> 01:10:57,599
Speaker 2: appreciate it, and I would love to do part two whenever.

1392
01:10:57,680 --> 01:10:59,280
Speaker 2: Whenever it is if people want to hear that, we

1393
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:02,360
Speaker 2: can talk about other stuff. And that's about my story

1394
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:04,240
Speaker 2: and more about has some fun with some other concepts.

1395
01:11:04,240 --> 01:11:07,040
Speaker 1: You know, your story is brilliant.

1396
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:09,120
Speaker 3: I'd like tim all right, well for the we'll say

1397
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:12,960
Speaker 3: goodbye affair, but for the moment before we go, do

1398
01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:14,679
Speaker 3: you want to put do you want to steer anyone

1399
01:11:14,720 --> 01:11:15,559
Speaker 3: towards anything?

1400
01:11:15,640 --> 01:11:16,880
Speaker 1: So that what's the show?

1401
01:11:17,360 --> 01:11:20,559
Speaker 2: The new show, what's it called. It's called Future Lab.

1402
01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:26,360
Speaker 2: It's actually we're exploring human potential through science and soul,

1403
01:11:26,640 --> 01:11:30,360
Speaker 2: you know, so it's really fascinating. Daddy, Danny Irbinder, doctor

1404
01:11:30,400 --> 01:11:33,000
Speaker 2: Denise Vaness and myself and we get guests them as well,

1405
01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:36,680
Speaker 2: like yourself and other incredible people. And doctor Denise is

1406
01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:39,880
Speaker 2: she's an epigenesis and she's an incredible, amazing lady, great

1407
01:11:39,920 --> 01:11:42,760
Speaker 2: friend of yours, and she just blows my mind all

1408
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:45,679
Speaker 2: the time. But yeah, Handy trev on Instagram. I throw

1409
01:11:45,720 --> 01:11:47,799
Speaker 2: things on every now and then. Got a little YouTube

1410
01:11:47,880 --> 01:11:51,080
Speaker 2: channel of my travels, you know, for driving and reflecting

1411
01:11:51,080 --> 01:11:53,840
Speaker 2: in nature. It's which just Travor Handy YouTube. There's a

1412
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:56,479
Speaker 2: website Trevor Handy dot com. I do talk to do

1413
01:11:56,520 --> 01:11:58,640
Speaker 2: one on one sessions with people, you know, all that

1414
01:11:58,680 --> 01:12:02,160
Speaker 2: sort of stuff. And that's probably enough, mate. It's just

1415
01:12:02,760 --> 01:12:06,559
Speaker 2: a great journey. I'm pretty humbled too, I don't know,

1416
01:12:06,680 --> 01:12:08,719
Speaker 2: to be able to learn and share on this journey.

1417
01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:13,400
Speaker 1: So all right mate, until next time, Thanks buddy, Yeah brother,