WEBVTT - WHY DID I GET GHOSTED? F**K!

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<v Speaker 1>I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

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<v Speaker 2>She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of

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<v Speaker 2>my kissing style with.

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<v Speaker 1>The boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in

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<v Speaker 1>a trash bin. He's non recyclable. Catching them up.

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<v Speaker 2>I love being love. I love love. On today's episode

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<v Speaker 2>of Where's Your Head At, we are sharing some of

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<v Speaker 2>our experiences that we've had with ghosting.

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<v Speaker 3>We've both been ghosted and we both have ghosted, so

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<v Speaker 3>we'll be discussing why people decide to ghost rather than

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<v Speaker 3>end things properly and why it crushes us so much.

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<v Speaker 2>Stay tuned to hear how I got ghosted Pyana.

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<v Speaker 1>Where's Your Head At?

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<v Speaker 3>Is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV,

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<v Speaker 3>trending shows, and everything in between.

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<v Speaker 2>This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,

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<v Speaker 2>intimate details, advice, and much more. All right, and welcome

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<v Speaker 2>to the studio. We have a very spooky episode today.

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<v Speaker 2>We are discussing ghosting. I'm that before we get stuck

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<v Speaker 2>into it. How have you been. How's your life going? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Good, Everything's been really busy.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like I came back from Bali and just

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<v Speaker 3>hit the ground running. So we've just been in the

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<v Speaker 3>studio a lot. Michael and I are going really well.

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<v Speaker 3>But you've got some very exciting news.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes I do. So, Jen and myself have found a

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<v Speaker 2>rental property. So actually we are renting maybe two to

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<v Speaker 2>three streets away from you, so very close.

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<v Speaker 1>And that can't get enough of me. So he's moved.

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<v Speaker 1>He's moved in right beside me.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I reckon, I could try put a footy to

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<v Speaker 2>your front door. But yeah, So we've decided to rent

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<v Speaker 2>with Jen's twin sister, Nikki and her boyfriend Murph. So

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<v Speaker 2>the four of us have got a three bedroom in

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<v Speaker 2>Saint Kilda East. Ah.

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<v Speaker 1>Congratulations, that's really exciting news.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you. Yeah. I've been joking though because the twins

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<v Speaker 2>last name is Ward. Yeah, so I've been saying that

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<v Speaker 2>we're moving into the psychiatric ward. That's so me and

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<v Speaker 2>you know it's a red flag when the inmates run

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<v Speaker 2>the asylum, so they run a tight shift there. So

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<v Speaker 2>me and mrf Dog are in for some dramas there.

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<v Speaker 1>Poor Jen and Nikki.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, we've got a It's really weird because the

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<v Speaker 2>last weekend, my weekend was completely different. We started shopping

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<v Speaker 2>for house ornaments, I guess apparently, Yeah, furnishure shopping. Apparently

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<v Speaker 2>we're going with a coastal vibe. Have told me so. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I was looking at like clam bowls because I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know all this weird stuff. That's just not what I do.

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<v Speaker 3>But never did I think I'd see the day that

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<v Speaker 3>Natt was shopping for clam ball It's really like on

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<v Speaker 3>this podcast. This podcast has evolved so much. I love it, mate.

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<v Speaker 2>I know I ended up buying as well, a prickly

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<v Speaker 2>pair so it's just big cactus. Yeah, just an inside

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<v Speaker 2>joke between Jen and I. We watched Naked and Afraid

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<v Speaker 2>and they eat prickly pears a lot. So I saw

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<v Speaker 2>one and I was like, all right, we're gonna have

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<v Speaker 2>that in case we can get starving one night. We

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<v Speaker 2>can go eat that. But we're talking today about ghosting,

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<v Speaker 2>so I've got a funny story. Obviously, we're moving out

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<v Speaker 2>of my property. With that, Me and the boys have

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<v Speaker 2>been renting for a year. I've touched on how Jen

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<v Speaker 2>had to clean it when she moved in. We've had

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<v Speaker 2>numerous parties there. The boys aren't the most hygienic blokes

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<v Speaker 2>you'll meet in the world. So we're doing a couple

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<v Speaker 2>of quotes to clean the house from different cleaning mobs

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<v Speaker 2>and got this one. They seem promising as they like,

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<v Speaker 2>they're good. They're like, yeah, yeah, we can do this,

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<v Speaker 2>we can do that. Then I showed them a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit of like the the nitty gritty stuff that need

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<v Speaker 2>to get done. They seemed a bit skeptical. I was like, awesome,

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<v Speaker 2>seem like we're all good to go from there.

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<v Speaker 1>That skeptical of it's still awesome.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, say we can do this. It's been nearly two

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<v Speaker 2>and a half weeks have not heard back from them

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<v Speaker 2>for a quote clean the house.

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<v Speaker 3>So you've been ghosted by the cleaners. Wow, that's a

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<v Speaker 3>whole new loan mat.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, I know they've gone, They've probably copped back

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<v Speaker 2>into their van and they've gone, you know what, fuck this,

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<v Speaker 2>it's not worth it.

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<v Speaker 1>Hell no, this isn't worth the money.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's let's just take off and never speak to this

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<v Speaker 2>flok again. So, yeah, I've been ghosted by cleaners. I've

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<v Speaker 2>been ghosted by a lot of people. I've ghosted a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of people, but never cleaners.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, look, let's jump into our ghosting episode on that night.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So what is ghosting?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, so we've all heard of the term ghosting. It's

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<v Speaker 3>a way of ending things or breaking up without actually

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<v Speaker 3>having the confrontation and the conversation, that awkward conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>And I reckon that's the worst part about dating.

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<v Speaker 3>That is you literally meet someone and you really want

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<v Speaker 3>it to work out, like everyone wants to meet the

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<v Speaker 3>one or they're happily ever after fairy tale story. But

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<v Speaker 3>sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So ghosting has come to a rise through social media.

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<v Speaker 2>We've become so used to the whole like disposable sort

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<v Speaker 2>of life where you swipe right, you swipe left if

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<v Speaker 2>you don't like him, And it's come to the point

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<v Speaker 2>now where even if you meet up with someone, if

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<v Speaker 2>you don't like him, and you just swipe left to

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<v Speaker 2>him and yeah, next I'm done with you. I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>even gonna send you a text message.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's essentially you're giving someone the silent treatment, not

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<v Speaker 3>giving them an explanation, and it is actually a form

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<v Speaker 3>of emotional cruelty because it does leave that person really

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<v Speaker 3>powerless to the situation.

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<v Speaker 1>They start questioning themselves, what did I do wrong? Am

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<v Speaker 1>I good enough?

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<v Speaker 3>It really like hits the ego, it hits the self worth,

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<v Speaker 3>all right.

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<v Speaker 2>And so I'm gonna ask you a quick question. If

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<v Speaker 2>you've gone on a couple of dates with this bloke,

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<v Speaker 2>you've had sex a handful of times, would you really

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<v Speaker 2>expect him to take you out to dinner or for

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<v Speaker 2>a drink and sit you down and be like, look, Anna,

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<v Speaker 2>you're a great person, but I just see this going anywhere.

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<v Speaker 2>We don't have a future.

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<v Speaker 1>No, absolutely not.

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<v Speaker 3>I think if you're not keen, I think you just

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<v Speaker 3>send a respectful text message to kind of inform that person.

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<v Speaker 3>And I think that's why people get so annoyed with ghosts,

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<v Speaker 3>because they're like, it's so simple to send someone a

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<v Speaker 3>really easy text message, and I think things that you

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<v Speaker 3>can say if you don't want to see someone again. Ah,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think there's a spark between us. I feel

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<v Speaker 3>like we're on different pages. I don't see a future

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<v Speaker 3>between us. It's such a simple message, and I know

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<v Speaker 3>it's hard. I know it's a bit icky, and you

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<v Speaker 3>feel really bad because you don't want to let people down,

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<v Speaker 3>But sometimes you just got to send those messages.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so I've got another one for you. Then, imagine

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<v Speaker 2>if you got sent that text message from a guy saying, like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, like it's not you, it's me. You've only

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<v Speaker 2>seen him a couple of times. Wouldn't you prince wearing

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<v Speaker 2>that and send that straight to me and say, have

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<v Speaker 2>a look at this asshole. Why is he sending me

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<v Speaker 2>a text message breaking up with me after three days?

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<v Speaker 3>You do want to have those conversations with friends, and

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<v Speaker 3>we all are within our right to have those conversations.

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<v Speaker 3>But I think what's worse is going what's happening. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>not really sure. He's kind of drip feeding me text messages.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't really know what's going on. Like, that's worse.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's respectful to give people clarity and clear messages. Matt.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm sitting up here asking you this stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>But we know I'm the first person that gets ghosted.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, well, what the fuck did I do? Well?

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<v Speaker 2>Where did it go wrong?

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<v Speaker 3>That takes it very hard being ghosted, But look sixty

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<v Speaker 3>to seventy percent of emerging adults have ghosted someone, so

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<v Speaker 3>it's not that uncommon.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not surprised by that statistic at all. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>the amount of ghosting I've seen in my life. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not surprised at all.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I.

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<v Speaker 3>Think, like what we've always said that is no response

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<v Speaker 3>is a response, Like, if someone has enough respect for you,

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<v Speaker 3>they're going to at least at a bare minimum, give

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<v Speaker 3>you a respect full end to the situationship or the

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<v Speaker 3>exclusivity ship or whatever it is you have going on

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<v Speaker 3>with them. I think the moment that someone ghosts, it

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<v Speaker 3>doesn't make them a bad person.

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<v Speaker 1>It just means that they're just not that invested in you.

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<v Speaker 1>They just don't care enough about you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they're just not interested. They've gone on and met

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<v Speaker 2>someone else.

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<v Speaker 3>Even so, Matt, do you think that I ghosted you?

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<v Speaker 3>Because you said that before in our intro and I

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<v Speaker 3>was a little bit confused.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you want to explain that?

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<v Speaker 2>So if everyone's listening to this podcast. On the first episode,

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<v Speaker 2>we touched on the dms that I had sent Anna

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<v Speaker 2>back in probably got what year now, years ago before

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<v Speaker 2>we went on Love Island, and I asked you, I think,

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<v Speaker 2>to dinner. Yeah, and I think you just didn't reply.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I asked you to come watch me wrestle.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean it was a bit random.

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<v Speaker 3>I think you like we had like done one modeling

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<v Speaker 3>shoot together. I had met you once or twice, and

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<v Speaker 3>all of a sudden you were asking me for dinner

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<v Speaker 3>and I didn't even really know you.

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<v Speaker 2>So it isn't at the point of a date.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, I mean, I think I just didn't feel like

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<v Speaker 3>I owed you a reply. As savage as that sounds,

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<v Speaker 3>I actually feel bad saying that, but yeah, I just

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<v Speaker 3>didn't feel like I owed you a response.

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<v Speaker 2>Look, I haven't held a garage obviously because we're here now,

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<v Speaker 2>but I mean it would have been a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>nicer to me. Again, it's till the touch selty. So

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<v Speaker 2>there are different types of levels of ghosting.

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<v Speaker 3>Anna, Yeah, what are they Okay, So this is important.

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<v Speaker 3>So there's mild ghosting, there's moderate ghosting, and then there's

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<v Speaker 3>proper ghosting. So mild ghosting is say you're out at

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<v Speaker 3>a bar, you meet a guy, you give them your number,

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<v Speaker 3>you might give them a bit of a kiss on

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<v Speaker 3>the dance floor, and then you move on with your

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<v Speaker 3>life and in the morning you get a message from them.

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<v Speaker 1>And then you just don't feel like replying.

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<v Speaker 3>You're like, maybe had a bit of beer goggle vibes

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<v Speaker 3>last night, or maybe on Instagram. Yeah, like maybe I'm

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<v Speaker 3>already seeing someone who I'm more interested in and you

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<v Speaker 3>just don't reply. In my opinion, that type of ghosting

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<v Speaker 3>is fine.

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<v Speaker 2>Have you done that many.

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<v Speaker 1>Many a time?

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<v Speaker 2>I think there is nothing wrong with that. I almost

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<v Speaker 2>would say, is that ghosting? It is to a level,

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<v Speaker 2>but like.

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<v Speaker 3>Everyone does that, Everyone does it, and like you don't

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<v Speaker 3>know that person, you don't owe them anything.

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<v Speaker 1>It is what it is.

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<v Speaker 3>In my opinion, I agree, then there's moderate ghosting. So

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<v Speaker 3>moderate ghosting is when you've actually been on a proper

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<v Speaker 3>date with someone, You've got to know them, You've maybe

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<v Speaker 3>talked a little bit about your lives. It could be

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<v Speaker 3>a first date, a second day, a third date, whatever

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<v Speaker 3>it is, and then you realize that the interest level

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<v Speaker 3>just isn't there to continue on with what's going on,

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<v Speaker 3>and you ghost Have you done this map?

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<v Speaker 2>You know what? It's funny we talk about this And

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<v Speaker 2>I was thinking while I was driving into the studio today,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, how did any situationships ive ever? In end?

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<v Speaker 2>Like I don't even remember or recall because I've never

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<v Speaker 2>sent a text message or received one from a situationship,

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<v Speaker 2>so I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, sometimes they just fizzle out.

0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:54.920
<v Speaker 2>They just don't they just messaging each other.

0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.280
<v Speaker 3>But then it's a case of like did they think

0:10:57.320 --> 0:10:59.880
<v Speaker 3>that you ghosted them and you just weren't that interested

0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:03.640
<v Speaker 3>so you never realized. Maybe maybe that's a moderate level.

0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:05.800
<v Speaker 2>Ghost without knowing, without.

0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:09.400
<v Speaker 1>Knowing, it's a serial moderate level ghost.

0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:19.520
<v Speaker 3>May and then we have proper ghosting. So, in my opinion,

0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:23.920
<v Speaker 3>proper ghosting is when you've actually had a sexual relationship

0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:26.120
<v Speaker 3>with someone, so you've been on a few dates, it

0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:30.280
<v Speaker 3>has turned into a bit of a situationship, you've had sex.

0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:32.480
<v Speaker 1>I think when you open up to.

0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:35.959
<v Speaker 3>Another human being and like let them, yeah, like let

0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:38.679
<v Speaker 3>them in in that type of way. I think, in

0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:42.679
<v Speaker 3>my opinion, each party should have the respect to just

0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:45.800
<v Speaker 3>send a message saying, hey, sorry, the spark's not there,

0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:49.120
<v Speaker 3>the ViBe's not there, or hey I'm sorry, like I've

0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:52.120
<v Speaker 3>started seeing someone else. I hope you understand. Like small,

0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:55.160
<v Speaker 3>respectful text like that can go such a long way,

0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:57.560
<v Speaker 3>because I think when you have sex with someone, it

0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:04.200
<v Speaker 3>can really feel super painful to be ghosted after having sex,

0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:07.240
<v Speaker 3>because then you start questioning yourself. And I know a

0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.120
<v Speaker 3>lot of people might think, oh, like was I shit

0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:12.840
<v Speaker 3>in bed or whatever it is, you know, and that's

0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:14.920
<v Speaker 3>a really like bad feeling to leave someone.

0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:17.000
<v Speaker 2>That would be pretty shit. You've been talking to him

0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:18.720
<v Speaker 2>like maybe on and off for a couple of weeks,

0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:21.359
<v Speaker 2>and then you finally go on a date, you have intercourse,

0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:24.240
<v Speaker 2>and then you they ghost it. Yeah, you'd be second

0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:25.840
<v Speaker 2>guessing like what did I do wrong?

0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:26.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:29.920
<v Speaker 2>I do this wrong? Was I not worthy enough for them? Matt?

0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:30.840
<v Speaker 1>Have you been ghosted?

0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:34.800
<v Speaker 2>Yes? I have? Actually I believe it or nos?

0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:36.000
<v Speaker 1>He looks sad.

0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:39.240
<v Speaker 2>Believe it or not? People have ghosted.

0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:45.079
<v Speaker 1>This tell us a bit about that we want to know.

0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:51.160
<v Speaker 2>So I've seen girls and then like try to organize

0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:54.560
<v Speaker 2>another like date with them or another like meetup. And

0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:58.000
<v Speaker 2>I think the classic one is actually when they say

0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:00.480
<v Speaker 2>they just keep having plants, they have something on you

0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:00.880
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean?

0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:02.400
<v Speaker 1>And they go, is that ghosting?

0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:05.400
<v Speaker 2>Well, in a way, yeah, because they're not organizing another

0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:07.000
<v Speaker 2>date with you. So like you read between the.

0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:08.240
<v Speaker 1>Lines, it's something that I do.

0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:11.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, that's ghosting. So you go, hey, are you

0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:14.080
<v Speaker 2>available to get dinner or get a movie or something

0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:17.280
<v Speaker 2>this week? And they reply saying, oh, no, I'm busy.

0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:19.120
<v Speaker 2>But then they don't give you another date that they're busy,

0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:19.640
<v Speaker 2>But then.

0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:22.040
<v Speaker 1>Shouldn't you read the room? Why keep asking?

0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:25.360
<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't, so I classify that as yeah.

0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:27.680
<v Speaker 1>Well it's bread crumbing, right, bread crumbing? Yeah, well like

0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:28.520
<v Speaker 1>drip feeding.

0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:30.839
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, do you want to give us the definitions of

0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:34.839
<v Speaker 3>bread crumbing and drip feeding because it's a similar scenario.

0:13:35.120 --> 0:13:37.880
<v Speaker 2>It is almost now that you say it. So. Bread

0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:41.360
<v Speaker 2>crumbing is when your crush has no intentions of taking

0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:44.880
<v Speaker 2>things further, but they still like the attention. So really

0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:48.240
<v Speaker 2>they'll flirt here and there, send DMS textas just to

0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:51.120
<v Speaker 2>keep the person interested, knowing damn well that they're not

0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:52.160
<v Speaker 2>going to take it any further.

0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:55.360
<v Speaker 1>That's what that sounds like to me. A little bit

0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:57.520
<v Speaker 1>of attention here, attention there.

0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:00.240
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes you might be seeing someone else as well well,

0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:02.160
<v Speaker 3>and you don't want to fully shut the door on

0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.360
<v Speaker 3>that person, like you kind of want to keep them

0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:07.040
<v Speaker 3>there just in case things don't work out. That's very

0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:09.240
<v Speaker 3>common in twenty first century dating.

0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:12.640
<v Speaker 2>It is, Well, did you ghost anyone when you started

0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:15.400
<v Speaker 2>seeing Michael, Because I know when I started seeing Jen,

0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:19.760
<v Speaker 2>I ghosted quite a handful of girls, just stopped stopped

0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.720
<v Speaker 2>any communication. I knew I'd found a special one.

0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:24.240
<v Speaker 1>So I think it was his handful of.

0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:31.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, couple, a couple of what scoops? It was a

0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:32.240
<v Speaker 2>couple of girls here and.

0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:35.160
<v Speaker 1>There, you know, yeah I did. There was a guy

0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:37.040
<v Speaker 1>I ghosted. I went on a date with him.

0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:40.320
<v Speaker 2>It just is this the one that you that you

0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:42.080
<v Speaker 2>went on a date with him and you just were

0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:44.240
<v Speaker 2>not vibing it. So I was on a date as well,

0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:48.200
<v Speaker 2>finnily enough, and you were blowing my phone up telling

0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:49.880
<v Speaker 2>me to come and crash the dates.

0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:51.440
<v Speaker 1>I was like, save me.

0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:55.520
<v Speaker 2>So I brought my date to your date and I

0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:59.320
<v Speaker 2>ended up having a random double date on a Wednesday night.

0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:03.359
<v Speaker 3>I believe we haven't told this story on our podcast,

0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:06.000
<v Speaker 3>Like that is one of the classic Anna and Matt

0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:10.760
<v Speaker 3>single moments. In more detail, yeah, like, look, it's basically

0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:14.280
<v Speaker 3>what Matt said. I basically was on the date, wasn't

0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:16.280
<v Speaker 3>like liking it, So it was like going to the

0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:17.840
<v Speaker 3>toilet a lot during the date.

0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:20.520
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, Matt, save me, Like what are

0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:20.880
<v Speaker 1>you doing?

0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:23.320
<v Speaker 3>I know you're on a date tonight and on Chapel

0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:24.840
<v Speaker 3>Street the same street that I'm in.

0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:27.840
<v Speaker 1>Let's meet up, and so basically.

0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:30.040
<v Speaker 2>Wand you My date was actually going quite well.

0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:33.760
<v Speaker 1>Sorry about that.

0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:37.920
<v Speaker 3>So anyway, Matt and his date came and saved me,

0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:40.720
<v Speaker 3>and then it ended up being the four of us,

0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:42.960
<v Speaker 3>and then I bailed, and.

0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm pretty sure my date bailed on me in the end.

0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:48.520
<v Speaker 2>I think I.

0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.600
<v Speaker 3>Ruined that one for you, But yeah, and then I

0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:54.400
<v Speaker 3>ended up ghosting him. He messaged me, and then I

0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.440
<v Speaker 3>think I replied like twelve hours later to try and

0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.840
<v Speaker 3>like give him a hint, and then he replied back

0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:02.880
<v Speaker 3>straight away and then unfortunately.

0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:02.840
<v Speaker 1>I had to go.

0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:05.240
<v Speaker 3>But I guess it comes down to the fact that

0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:10.080
<v Speaker 3>I didn't want to have like that deeply emotional breakup

0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:13.160
<v Speaker 3>conversation with someone who I had met once, Like it

0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:16.840
<v Speaker 3>just didn't feel comfortable for me to go there and

0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:20.600
<v Speaker 3>to open up emotionally to someone who, as savage as

0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:22.320
<v Speaker 3>it sounds, I just didn't care about.

0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:26.280
<v Speaker 2>And I agree with that. You don't owe those people anything.

0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:29.040
<v Speaker 2>You don't one on one date with them, you didn't

0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:32.240
<v Speaker 2>vibe it, You don't owe them that message. You don't

0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:34.560
<v Speaker 2>owe them like you know what I mean, flowers and

0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:36.720
<v Speaker 2>nice break up message.

0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:39.240
<v Speaker 1>So it didn't work out Flowers, Yeah.

0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.560
<v Speaker 2>You don't. And anyone that thinks that they are owed that, like,

0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:44.480
<v Speaker 2>I think you need like a reality check it's just

0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:47.640
<v Speaker 2>one date. You'll go on hundreds of first dates hopefully

0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:49.120
<v Speaker 2>in your life. And do you know what I mean?

0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:51.320
<v Speaker 3>And I think, yeah, you can't put too much emphasis

0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:53.880
<v Speaker 3>on a first date, like people might go on three

0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:57.680
<v Speaker 3>four different dates every week if someone's like a serial

0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:00.400
<v Speaker 3>data or if someone's just like very in to that

0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:03.560
<v Speaker 3>dating scene or whatever it is. And I think why

0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:06.800
<v Speaker 3>people ghost is just because it's too hard, they're seeing

0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:09.359
<v Speaker 3>multiple people and they just don't really feel like they

0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:10.119
<v Speaker 3>owe you anything.

0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:12.840
<v Speaker 1>Which look, if it's one date, that's fair enough.

0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:16.120
<v Speaker 3>But as we said, as it gets into like moderate

0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:20.400
<v Speaker 3>ghosting and then into more extreme ghosting, then it becomes

0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:22.360
<v Speaker 3>not okay in our opinion.

0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:24.560
<v Speaker 2>In our opinion. So to sum this up, Anna, do

0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:27.280
<v Speaker 2>you think it's easier to ghost rather than end things

0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:29.680
<v Speaker 2>with a person with an explanation of why it went wrong?

0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:30.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:30.600
<v Speaker 1>I think.

0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:34.320
<v Speaker 3>Look, sometimes it's just hard to navigate your emotions and

0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.560
<v Speaker 3>to get really deep and emotional with someone who you

0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:40.520
<v Speaker 3>don't really care about. And I think it's easier to

0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:43.919
<v Speaker 3>sometimes as bad as it is to hide behind our screens.

0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:47.520
<v Speaker 1>Like you know, these people know that we haven't died.

0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:51.120
<v Speaker 3>They can see we've been active thirty minutes to go

0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:54.080
<v Speaker 3>posting an Instagram story it would like to. I think

0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:57.520
<v Speaker 3>it's about reading the room and understanding that maybe you're

0:17:57.600 --> 0:17:59.600
<v Speaker 3>just not high on the priority list.

0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.159
<v Speaker 2>You remember when you used to have like Messenger and

0:18:02.280 --> 0:18:04.560
<v Speaker 2>used to see when they were active. Yeah, and then

0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:08.200
<v Speaker 2>you'd be like, they're clearly ghosting me or Snapchat when

0:18:08.240 --> 0:18:10.000
<v Speaker 2>they to say when they used to last on.

0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:15.000
<v Speaker 4>Oh god, yeah, oh that's giving me so much like

0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:18.760
<v Speaker 4>well past traumas or yeah, so I can understand why

0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:21.680
<v Speaker 4>it's easier to go so on just to send that message,

0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:25.720
<v Speaker 4>all right.

0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:28.280
<v Speaker 2>And so a lot of people would see ghosting in

0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.520
<v Speaker 2>a negative way if they've been ghosted and they've been hurt.

0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:34.000
<v Speaker 2>But what does ghosting actually say about you?

0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:36.720
<v Speaker 3>Look, I think it does mean that you have some

0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.080
<v Speaker 3>work to do on yourself and you need to get

0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:42.800
<v Speaker 3>better at having tough conversations. I was really shit at

0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:46.680
<v Speaker 3>having tough conversations up until about two years ago. If

0:18:46.680 --> 0:18:50.480
<v Speaker 3>I'm being really honest with myself, I always avoided them.

0:18:50.720 --> 0:18:54.320
<v Speaker 3>I ran away from them, and I kind of just like,

0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:57.159
<v Speaker 3>it's hard to say, but I would prefer to people

0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:00.879
<v Speaker 3>please rather than to have those tough conversations. Or if

0:19:00.920 --> 0:19:03.080
<v Speaker 3>there was something wrong, Like I remember there was something

0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:05.800
<v Speaker 3>feeling not quite right in one of my relationships, and

0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:09.480
<v Speaker 3>instead of verbalizing that, I would say, oh, like, I've

0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:11.560
<v Speaker 3>got some bad mental health issues at the moment, I

0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:13.800
<v Speaker 3>just need to focus on myself, which is kind of

0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:16.080
<v Speaker 3>true because I was getting a lot of anxiety from

0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:19.800
<v Speaker 3>the situation. But yeah, I think sometimes just ripping the

0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:23.000
<v Speaker 3>band aid off and being really open and transparent makes

0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:23.800
<v Speaker 3>such a difference.

0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:26.720
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think that when you go so on, it

0:19:27.080 --> 0:19:30.359
<v Speaker 2>shows that you are inconsiderate and don't care much about

0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:33.439
<v Speaker 2>the impact of consequences of your actions. And I really

0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:36.679
<v Speaker 2>feel like when you have been hurt in that way,

0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:39.520
<v Speaker 2>then you will realize that it can hurt other people.

0:19:39.800 --> 0:19:43.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And I think that's the moment when you realize, oh,

0:19:43.480 --> 0:19:46.080
<v Speaker 3>I don't really want to make people feel a certain way,

0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:49.040
<v Speaker 3>because look, if you've got on a really amazing first day,

0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:52.399
<v Speaker 3>or in your eyes it was a really amazing first

0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:55.720
<v Speaker 3>day and the other person isn't vibing it, you can

0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:58.879
<v Speaker 3>put all of these hopes and expectations and dreams, like

0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:00.800
<v Speaker 3>I could come up with a first date and think

0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:02.920
<v Speaker 3>I've met my future husband, and if he doesn't feel

0:20:02.960 --> 0:20:06.120
<v Speaker 3>the same way. It's really crushing to feel that way,

0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:08.320
<v Speaker 3>and we never want to make people feel that way.

0:20:08.359 --> 0:20:11.560
<v Speaker 3>So we definitely don't want to condone ghosting. We understand

0:20:11.560 --> 0:20:14.119
<v Speaker 3>that a lot of people do it, but sometimes just

0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:17.920
<v Speaker 3>sending those really easy messages saying, look, I'm not really

0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:22.200
<v Speaker 3>vibing it, you're really cool, thanks again, thanks for coming.

0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:26.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just no, thanks for no thanks, yeah, thanks for

0:20:26.800 --> 0:20:28.560
<v Speaker 2>no thanks. All right, And so what if you have

0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:29.360
<v Speaker 2>been ghosted?

0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:33.240
<v Speaker 3>Then yeah, so if you've been ghosted, like we've all

0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:37.159
<v Speaker 3>been there, we really like someone, you send them that message,

0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:38.480
<v Speaker 3>You get nothing back.

0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:41.160
<v Speaker 1>Every minute starts to feel like an.

0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:44.560
<v Speaker 3>Hour, Your thoughts start becoming more and more obsessed with them.

0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:46.840
<v Speaker 3>You keep looking at your phone every time you get

0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:52.120
<v Speaker 3>a notifications, hoping, praying it's them, and you just you're

0:20:52.359 --> 0:20:56.400
<v Speaker 3>waiting and praying for that serotonin hit, and that serotonin

0:20:56.480 --> 0:20:57.720
<v Speaker 3>hit just never comes.

0:20:57.920 --> 0:20:58.840
<v Speaker 1>We've all been there.

0:20:59.080 --> 0:21:04.159
<v Speaker 3>It sucks, but I think it's important to really distract yourself,

0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:09.600
<v Speaker 3>realize that your worth is still high, you're still high value,

0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:12.960
<v Speaker 3>you deserve to be valued. And if they're not replying

0:21:13.000 --> 0:21:15.760
<v Speaker 3>to you in a timely manner, or if they're playing games,

0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:17.760
<v Speaker 3>or if they're ghosting you, then they're not worth your

0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:20.040
<v Speaker 3>time because at the end of the day, we all

0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:22.600
<v Speaker 3>want to be with someone who wants to be with us,

0:21:22.600 --> 0:21:24.639
<v Speaker 3>like we don't want to be with someone who doesn't

0:21:24.760 --> 0:21:26.439
<v Speaker 3>value us and doesn't appreciate us.

0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:28.800
<v Speaker 2>And the most important thing to remember is when you've

0:21:28.840 --> 0:21:32.640
<v Speaker 2>been ghosted, it says more about them and nothing about

0:21:32.680 --> 0:21:33.520
<v Speaker 2>the person you are.

0:21:33.880 --> 0:21:35.760
<v Speaker 1>Totally couldn't agree more.

0:21:36.000 --> 0:21:39.040
<v Speaker 3>You're still enough, You're still worthy, and there will be

0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:41.000
<v Speaker 3>someone out there who will value you.

0:21:41.400 --> 0:21:43.560
<v Speaker 2>So just jump on that dating app or slide into

0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:45.480
<v Speaker 2>those dms and put those feelers out.

0:21:45.640 --> 0:21:47.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, how do you deal with being ghosted in that?

0:21:47.760 --> 0:21:51.520
<v Speaker 3>Because when we spoke about it before, you looked a

0:21:51.560 --> 0:21:55.080
<v Speaker 3>little salty, and that salty look has come back.

0:21:56.960 --> 0:22:03.280
<v Speaker 2>So how do I deal with being ghosted? Cry? No,

0:22:04.040 --> 0:22:06.160
<v Speaker 2>it depends on the situation and how I felt about

0:22:06.160 --> 0:22:09.399
<v Speaker 2>the girl. I'll just probably just you know, send a

0:22:09.440 --> 0:22:14.359
<v Speaker 2>scathing message and just go on to the next No,

0:22:14.480 --> 0:22:18.800
<v Speaker 2>I actually haven't I joking aside, I get pretty like upset.

0:22:18.840 --> 0:22:22.359
<v Speaker 2>I know a girl ghosted me last year and you

0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:24.359
<v Speaker 2>and me were having a laugh about it on your couch.

0:22:24.640 --> 0:22:29.320
<v Speaker 2>Do you remember that? Yeah? I do, But I just

0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:31.880
<v Speaker 2>you know, just go, like I said before, jump back

0:22:31.920 --> 0:22:33.760
<v Speaker 2>on that horse and see who else is out there

0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:35.600
<v Speaker 2>and see what Because, like we said, I know what

0:22:35.640 --> 0:22:37.439
<v Speaker 2>I bring to the table. I know my value, I

0:22:37.440 --> 0:22:39.840
<v Speaker 2>know my worth, So I don't let it knock me

0:22:39.880 --> 0:22:40.600
<v Speaker 2>down too bad.

0:22:40.680 --> 0:22:43.239
<v Speaker 3>And as annoying as it is, like when people say this,

0:22:43.400 --> 0:22:46.720
<v Speaker 3>there are plenty of fish in the seat, Like, there's

0:22:46.800 --> 0:22:50.879
<v Speaker 3>so many amazing people out there today. If there's someone

0:22:50.880 --> 0:22:52.920
<v Speaker 3>who's ghosting you, they're not as great as you think

0:22:52.920 --> 0:22:55.680
<v Speaker 3>they are, And I think it's important to remind yourself

0:22:55.720 --> 0:22:56.000
<v Speaker 3>of that.

0:22:56.240 --> 0:22:59.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just don't sit there and stress about it. Loose sleep.

0:22:59.400 --> 0:23:00.760
<v Speaker 2>There's heapes more people out there.

0:23:00.800 --> 0:23:05.119
<v Speaker 3>Oh that's easier than done there, I think. Yeah, don't

0:23:05.560 --> 0:23:09.119
<v Speaker 3>chase the person ghosting you. I think resist the temptation

0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:12.679
<v Speaker 3>to do things like troll them on the internet. Resist

0:23:12.760 --> 0:23:13.480
<v Speaker 3>the temptation.

0:23:13.840 --> 0:23:17.160
<v Speaker 2>Don't put up first traps for them either, trying to

0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:21.040
<v Speaker 2>reel them back in, Like, yeah, just forget about it.

0:23:21.160 --> 0:23:23.120
<v Speaker 2>They're not worth your time. I'm saying that.

0:23:23.880 --> 0:23:26.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, man, you're like, I love giving advice to people

0:23:26.880 --> 0:23:28.919
<v Speaker 3>when you don't actually take this advice yourself.

0:23:28.960 --> 0:23:32.639
<v Speaker 1>Matt is the biggest first trap I've ever met.

0:23:33.080 --> 0:23:39.480
<v Speaker 2>Talking from experience well from like because it doesn't work.

0:23:39.600 --> 0:23:41.560
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes it feels good to put up a thirst trap

0:23:41.600 --> 0:23:43.480
<v Speaker 3>and to be like, ha, this is what you're missing

0:23:43.520 --> 0:23:43.800
<v Speaker 3>out on.

0:23:43.920 --> 0:23:46.000
<v Speaker 2>This is true as well. Yeah, where is that thought

0:23:46.000 --> 0:23:48.639
<v Speaker 2>as well? All right, and let's put yourself first, Like

0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:51.200
<v Speaker 2>we always say, take some self care. This might mean

0:23:51.320 --> 0:23:54.160
<v Speaker 2>get some sleep, spend more time with your close friends

0:23:54.160 --> 0:23:57.480
<v Speaker 2>and family, make a conscious effort to go to healthy

0:23:57.520 --> 0:23:59.960
<v Speaker 2>activities and do things that make you feel good.

0:24:00.560 --> 0:24:00.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:24:00.840 --> 0:24:03.840
<v Speaker 1>I think distracting yourself as a big one. Every time.

0:24:04.160 --> 0:24:07.080
<v Speaker 3>I know that when I was ghosted, every time I

0:24:07.119 --> 0:24:10.720
<v Speaker 3>would think about that person, which was frequently, I would

0:24:10.800 --> 0:24:15.800
<v Speaker 3>just really, in a relaxed way, tell myself, Okay, Anna,

0:24:15.920 --> 0:24:18.360
<v Speaker 3>I know you're thinking about that person again, but we're

0:24:18.359 --> 0:24:21.320
<v Speaker 3>gonna move on, and I'm going to focus my attention

0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:24.800
<v Speaker 3>and energy on this. And every time you move your

0:24:24.840 --> 0:24:29.080
<v Speaker 3>attention on, it becomes easier and easier, and as bad

0:24:29.119 --> 0:24:32.000
<v Speaker 3>as it is, the more time that goes past after

0:24:32.080 --> 0:24:33.960
<v Speaker 3>being ghosted, the easier it becomes.

0:24:34.600 --> 0:24:36.359
<v Speaker 2>Time heals all wounds, doesn't it.

0:24:36.600 --> 0:24:37.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:43.520
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So we've touched on a couple of reasons why

0:24:43.640 --> 0:24:47.159
<v Speaker 2>people ghost, But what are the main reasons are and

0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:50.240
<v Speaker 2>there's a handful of main ones that we should get into.

0:24:50.359 --> 0:24:51.840
<v Speaker 2>What are they, Well, you said.

0:24:51.600 --> 0:24:54.680
<v Speaker 1>It before, Matt, what was the reason that you ghost?

0:24:55.040 --> 0:24:56.560
<v Speaker 2>I met someone else? I met Jen?

0:24:57.080 --> 0:24:59.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you meet someone else. So I think that's a

0:24:59.760 --> 0:25:03.440
<v Speaker 3>big one. Like they've met someone else, they're more aligned,

0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:06.920
<v Speaker 3>they're a better fit, and unfortunately you are no longer

0:25:06.960 --> 0:25:10.440
<v Speaker 3>on that priority list. I think another one is ending

0:25:10.440 --> 0:25:14.800
<v Speaker 3>a relationship takes energy, time and may require emotions that

0:25:14.880 --> 0:25:17.160
<v Speaker 3>people just aren't willing to tap into.

0:25:17.560 --> 0:25:19.399
<v Speaker 2>Maybe you've been on the date, or you've been on

0:25:19.440 --> 0:25:22.080
<v Speaker 2>a couple of dates and someone has offended you, given

0:25:22.119 --> 0:25:24.160
<v Speaker 2>you the ick, or even creeped you out in a way,

0:25:24.200 --> 0:25:27.200
<v Speaker 2>so you're just like, nah, this isn't for me.

0:25:27.440 --> 0:25:27.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:25:27.720 --> 0:25:30.680
<v Speaker 3>I actually ghosted someone because they offended me. I went

0:25:30.720 --> 0:25:34.399
<v Speaker 3>to school with this guy and he said to me, oh,

0:25:34.480 --> 0:25:36.800
<v Speaker 3>you were too cool at school or something, and I

0:25:36.880 --> 0:25:39.600
<v Speaker 3>was like, what do you mean? Like it was just bizarre.

0:25:39.680 --> 0:25:41.800
<v Speaker 3>I just didn't understand why he said it. He was

0:25:41.840 --> 0:25:45.240
<v Speaker 3>actually two years above me, and I just didn't respond

0:25:45.240 --> 0:25:47.639
<v Speaker 3>to him. And then he messaged me saying have I

0:25:47.720 --> 0:25:50.080
<v Speaker 3>done something wrong? And I just said, oh, you said

0:25:50.160 --> 0:25:51.960
<v Speaker 3>some things that were kind of offensive to me. On

0:25:52.040 --> 0:25:55.439
<v Speaker 3>the date and he kept putting me down and talking

0:25:55.480 --> 0:25:58.840
<v Speaker 3>about like school days, and I just didn't understand where

0:25:58.840 --> 0:26:01.480
<v Speaker 3>he was coming from, Like I've always been super nice,

0:26:01.560 --> 0:26:04.639
<v Speaker 3>respectful to everyone, and I think he just had this

0:26:04.720 --> 0:26:07.639
<v Speaker 3>opinion of me. Well, we didn't talk at school. He

0:26:07.720 --> 0:26:10.160
<v Speaker 3>was two years above me. I was intimidated by him.

0:26:10.720 --> 0:26:12.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think he thought I was too cool, But

0:26:12.440 --> 0:26:13.679
<v Speaker 1>I think I was shy.

0:26:14.080 --> 0:26:17.439
<v Speaker 2>Speaking about speaking about that. I ghosted a girl because

0:26:17.480 --> 0:26:19.680
<v Speaker 2>she asked me. We were sitting there and she asked

0:26:19.680 --> 0:26:22.239
<v Speaker 2>me to tell her my most embarrassing story. And I

0:26:22.280 --> 0:26:26.960
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh, jeez, I begin I was. I was like,

0:26:27.000 --> 0:26:28.280
<v Speaker 2>how long do we have? And I said, well, you

0:26:28.320 --> 0:26:30.879
<v Speaker 2>go first. I wanted to set the tone. She started

0:26:30.880 --> 0:26:34.879
<v Speaker 2>talking about like school and I was like, I'm like,

0:26:34.960 --> 0:26:38.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm fucking twenty five here, like, and she was like,

0:26:38.040 --> 0:26:41.320
<v Speaker 2>obviously twenty And she started talking about like school days

0:26:41.320 --> 0:26:43.160
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, hmm, she's a bit too young

0:26:43.200 --> 0:26:44.720
<v Speaker 2>for me. So I ghosted her.

0:26:45.119 --> 0:26:47.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay, wow, I didn't know that.

0:26:47.760 --> 0:26:49.359
<v Speaker 2>Didn't you know that? Yeah, it just was a bit

0:26:49.359 --> 0:26:51.240
<v Speaker 2>of an ick. I was just like, oh, that gave

0:26:51.240 --> 0:26:52.960
<v Speaker 2>you the ear. I was like, oh, you're a bit young,

0:26:53.200 --> 0:26:55.080
<v Speaker 2>Like who the fuck talks about school.

0:26:55.400 --> 0:26:56.400
<v Speaker 1>Well, mate, you're no one.

0:26:56.640 --> 0:27:01.400
<v Speaker 3>You're you're used to dating older women, so they're probably

0:27:01.480 --> 0:27:03.840
<v Speaker 3>like so far removed from school that you haven't heard it.

0:27:03.880 --> 0:27:06.119
<v Speaker 1>But I mean, you're only at twenty five.

0:27:06.320 --> 0:27:09.159
<v Speaker 2>Twenty is like, well yeah, of course, and a twenty

0:27:09.240 --> 0:27:11.399
<v Speaker 2>I was probably still talking about school as well. Yeah,

0:27:11.440 --> 0:27:13.119
<v Speaker 2>but it just was just like, Okay, we're at different

0:27:13.240 --> 0:27:15.639
<v Speaker 2>parts of our life now. Yeah, what I mean, like

0:27:15.720 --> 0:27:18.639
<v Speaker 2>I don't even remember like who was in my class

0:27:18.720 --> 0:27:20.800
<v Speaker 2>or anything like that, let alone an embarrassing moment that

0:27:20.800 --> 0:27:21.600
<v Speaker 2>happened at school.

0:27:21.720 --> 0:27:24.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, speaking of giving you the creeps, I have a

0:27:24.040 --> 0:27:27.920
<v Speaker 3>story about me having to actually go someone so they

0:27:28.000 --> 0:27:31.920
<v Speaker 3>actually did something wrong to me, like they got caught

0:27:31.920 --> 0:27:35.879
<v Speaker 3>sleeping with someone else. And then I obviously removed myself

0:27:35.880 --> 0:27:37.920
<v Speaker 3>from the situation because I was like, I don't want

0:27:38.040 --> 0:27:41.439
<v Speaker 3>any part in this, Like you're clearly sleeping with other people,

0:27:42.119 --> 0:27:44.200
<v Speaker 3>that's fine, but this just isn't for me. So I

0:27:44.320 --> 0:27:47.560
<v Speaker 3>kind of pulled back, just kind of stopped communication, and

0:27:47.600 --> 0:27:51.439
<v Speaker 3>then they started becoming more and more intense, blowing up

0:27:51.480 --> 0:27:53.800
<v Speaker 3>my phone. I was getting like thirty calls.

0:27:53.560 --> 0:27:57.879
<v Speaker 1>A day, and I think my withdrawal.

0:27:57.240 --> 0:28:00.320
<v Speaker 3>From the situation even although I was well with my

0:28:00.400 --> 0:28:05.840
<v Speaker 3>rights to withdraw, almost made them like want me more.

0:28:06.000 --> 0:28:07.760
<v Speaker 3>It's kind of like you want what you can't have

0:28:07.920 --> 0:28:11.600
<v Speaker 3>type of situation. And yeah, I had to block because

0:28:11.640 --> 0:28:14.280
<v Speaker 3>I was like, this is getting too for long, Like

0:28:14.560 --> 0:28:15.600
<v Speaker 3>you're giving me the creeps.

0:28:15.640 --> 0:28:18.439
<v Speaker 2>Now, Well, he should definitely listen to this episode and

0:28:18.880 --> 0:28:21.919
<v Speaker 2>hear us say that do not keep pursuing someone if

0:28:21.920 --> 0:28:24.639
<v Speaker 2>they ghost you, because that's what happens. You could scare

0:28:24.680 --> 0:28:26.080
<v Speaker 2>them away completely.

0:28:26.280 --> 0:28:27.600
<v Speaker 1>End up with a restraining order.

0:28:28.560 --> 0:28:34.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's that's worse. Yeah, all right, and I so

0:28:34.800 --> 0:28:38.080
<v Speaker 2>we've spoken about like mild and moderate ghosting, but what

0:28:38.120 --> 0:28:41.200
<v Speaker 2>happens if it's a more serious relationship and they ghost

0:28:41.280 --> 0:28:41.880
<v Speaker 2>you after that?

0:28:42.600 --> 0:28:46.320
<v Speaker 3>Like I can't imagine being in an actual relationship with someone,

0:28:46.440 --> 0:28:49.760
<v Speaker 3>or even being exclusive with someone and then being ghosted.

0:28:50.240 --> 0:28:54.360
<v Speaker 3>It's so savage and just horrible. I just couldn't imagine

0:28:54.360 --> 0:28:55.120
<v Speaker 3>that happening.

0:28:55.200 --> 0:28:58.520
<v Speaker 2>Do you mean like you're actually boyfriend and girlfriend and

0:28:58.560 --> 0:28:59.520
<v Speaker 2>they ghost you.

0:28:59.640 --> 0:29:02.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I've heard of that space.

0:29:02.800 --> 0:29:06.720
<v Speaker 2>That's just that's what it means that somebody would do that.

0:29:07.520 --> 0:29:09.479
<v Speaker 3>Well, yeah, I mean you bought a life thing that

0:29:09.480 --> 0:29:13.640
<v Speaker 3>they might have died, Like, are you still alive?

0:29:14.160 --> 0:29:15.560
<v Speaker 1>Do I need to call the police.

0:29:15.720 --> 0:29:18.480
<v Speaker 2>Imagine you're living with them as well. That's sad if

0:29:18.520 --> 0:29:19.560
<v Speaker 2>that's actually happened to.

0:29:19.520 --> 0:29:22.160
<v Speaker 3>Someone, and that has I've heard of plenty of stories

0:29:22.200 --> 0:29:26.000
<v Speaker 3>where that's happened, and I just think that level of

0:29:26.080 --> 0:29:30.120
<v Speaker 3>ghosting is almost like becoming a bit psychotic and not well.

0:29:30.400 --> 0:29:33.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that persons savage. They have no respect for like

0:29:33.960 --> 0:29:36.960
<v Speaker 2>human etiquette or the other person at all.

0:29:37.200 --> 0:29:39.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's just it's it's wild behavior.

0:29:39.480 --> 0:29:44.080
<v Speaker 3>And we are obviously totally against any sort of ghosting

0:29:44.200 --> 0:29:47.360
<v Speaker 3>like that. That's just a whole different level of ghosting.

0:29:47.520 --> 0:29:48.960
<v Speaker 3>It's just like awful.

0:29:49.080 --> 0:29:51.240
<v Speaker 2>There is no real advice to give someone on.

0:29:51.160 --> 0:29:54.360
<v Speaker 3>That because that's just Look, if it happens to you,

0:29:54.560 --> 0:29:58.360
<v Speaker 3>I guess the only advice is just give yourself plenty

0:29:58.440 --> 0:30:01.000
<v Speaker 3>of time to really pro assess and get over that.

0:30:01.280 --> 0:30:04.640
<v Speaker 3>I can't imagine everyoneting to trust anyone again.

0:30:04.720 --> 0:30:06.240
<v Speaker 2>What was you if you came home and Michael was

0:30:06.320 --> 0:30:06.920
<v Speaker 2>just ghosted you?

0:30:07.280 --> 0:30:09.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I'm so sad to think about.

0:30:09.800 --> 0:30:12.800
<v Speaker 3>What would you do if Jen just ghosted you never

0:30:12.880 --> 0:30:14.240
<v Speaker 3>heard from her again after this?

0:30:15.440 --> 0:30:18.800
<v Speaker 2>I'd probably asked Nikki what she was up to the twin.

0:30:21.120 --> 0:30:23.800
<v Speaker 2>Another good point would be to speak to someone who

0:30:23.960 --> 0:30:27.479
<v Speaker 2>consider therapy because you need to. Yeah, that would really

0:30:27.720 --> 0:30:29.800
<v Speaker 2>like you'd imagine how much in your mind you would

0:30:29.840 --> 0:30:31.880
<v Speaker 2>be like, what have I done wrong? Where are they?

0:30:31.960 --> 0:30:35.160
<v Speaker 2>What's going on? I definitely suggest talking to a professional

0:30:35.200 --> 0:30:35.600
<v Speaker 2>on that one.

0:30:35.640 --> 0:30:39.440
<v Speaker 3>And I think in those really bad situations, it's important

0:30:39.520 --> 0:30:45.040
<v Speaker 3>to try and take away something from the situation to learn. Obviously,

0:30:45.080 --> 0:30:47.520
<v Speaker 3>in those situations, if you had a boyfriend and he

0:30:47.560 --> 0:30:51.280
<v Speaker 3>ghosted you, it's absolutely not your fault at all. But yeah,

0:30:51.520 --> 0:30:54.080
<v Speaker 3>just trying to always find the lesson in those really

0:30:54.160 --> 0:30:58.560
<v Speaker 3>tough situations is a really good coping mechanism. Okay, mat

0:30:58.640 --> 0:31:02.040
<v Speaker 3>So what can we text someone.

0:31:01.760 --> 0:31:03.360
<v Speaker 1>After being ghosted?

0:31:03.640 --> 0:31:06.160
<v Speaker 3>Like, do you even want to send that text? Is

0:31:06.200 --> 0:31:08.120
<v Speaker 3>there anything that you want to say? Or do you

0:31:08.160 --> 0:31:10.840
<v Speaker 3>just realize that no response is a response.

0:31:11.160 --> 0:31:13.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to start off by saying I don't suggest

0:31:14.080 --> 0:31:14.720
<v Speaker 2>texting them.

0:31:14.800 --> 0:31:19.280
<v Speaker 3>Neither someone ghosts me, I'm like, I'm a ghost for life.

0:31:19.360 --> 0:31:23.600
<v Speaker 1>After that, I'm like, no matter if you ever want.

0:31:23.440 --> 0:31:25.640
<v Speaker 3>To talk to me again, whether in real life, in

0:31:25.720 --> 0:31:28.600
<v Speaker 3>text message or via like a phone call, I will

0:31:28.640 --> 0:31:32.120
<v Speaker 3>never be available to you. That's it done, capoof Yeah

0:31:32.360 --> 0:31:33.880
<v Speaker 3>out later.

0:31:34.840 --> 0:31:39.560
<v Speaker 2>Never play hard to get I play forget it. So

0:31:39.720 --> 0:31:41.320
<v Speaker 2>but if you must, because I know a lot of

0:31:41.320 --> 0:31:43.680
<v Speaker 2>people want to and they're probably listening to this and

0:31:43.720 --> 0:31:45.240
<v Speaker 2>they're like, no, but I want to send a message.

0:31:45.240 --> 0:31:47.320
<v Speaker 2>I want to know what's wrong, what I did wrong.

0:31:47.720 --> 0:31:49.480
<v Speaker 2>Here are some stuff that you can say to them.

0:31:49.600 --> 0:31:52.800
<v Speaker 3>Okay, so you can just say to them, Hey, disappointed

0:31:52.840 --> 0:31:55.800
<v Speaker 3>things haven't worked out for us. I'd love to know

0:31:55.840 --> 0:31:58.240
<v Speaker 3>what happened, good or bad.

0:31:58.520 --> 0:32:00.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, you must be feeling brave and that message.

0:32:00.760 --> 0:32:03.120
<v Speaker 3>I wouldn't look like sending that message, but I mean,

0:32:03.320 --> 0:32:06.000
<v Speaker 3>if you really have to, like, if you really must.

0:32:06.200 --> 0:32:08.960
<v Speaker 3>But the thing is is if you send that message,

0:32:09.520 --> 0:32:12.200
<v Speaker 3>you could get double ghosted, and that.

0:32:11.800 --> 0:32:12.400
<v Speaker 2>That would happen.

0:32:12.400 --> 0:32:16.120
<v Speaker 3>That's more and that's the risk that you have to

0:32:16.160 --> 0:32:18.880
<v Speaker 3>be willing to take with a ghoster because they just

0:32:18.920 --> 0:32:20.720
<v Speaker 3>don't value your kindness or time.

0:32:21.240 --> 0:32:23.400
<v Speaker 2>Here's one if you would be this is the one

0:32:23.440 --> 0:32:26.080
<v Speaker 2>I would send personally. If anyone knows my personality, they

0:32:26.080 --> 0:32:28.160
<v Speaker 2>know I would send this. You turn it back onto

0:32:28.240 --> 0:32:30.880
<v Speaker 2>them and say thank you for the time we spent together.

0:32:30.920 --> 0:32:33.960
<v Speaker 2>But unfortunately I value the time we spent together, but

0:32:34.000 --> 0:32:36.400
<v Speaker 2>it's not going to work with me. Thanks, but no thanks.

0:32:38.440 --> 0:32:43.120
<v Speaker 2>That's so insulting that that's just someone that has ghosted you.

0:32:43.520 --> 0:32:45.800
<v Speaker 1>Why I send that you've already been ghosted. You just

0:32:45.880 --> 0:32:47.400
<v Speaker 1>look like you're desperate.

0:32:47.560 --> 0:32:51.640
<v Speaker 2>You're just futty them.

0:32:52.400 --> 0:32:55.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like I just think I just wouldn't bother.

0:32:56.120 --> 0:32:59.560
<v Speaker 3>That's my advice to anyone who's listening, Like, no matter

0:32:59.640 --> 0:33:01.760
<v Speaker 3>how much you want to send that text message, if

0:33:01.800 --> 0:33:03.480
<v Speaker 3>there is a lot that you have to get off

0:33:03.520 --> 0:33:07.520
<v Speaker 3>your chest for closure, open up your note section, write

0:33:07.520 --> 0:33:09.840
<v Speaker 3>it all down, every single thing that you want to

0:33:09.880 --> 0:33:12.560
<v Speaker 3>say to them, and then just delete it because you've

0:33:12.560 --> 0:33:15.040
<v Speaker 3>got it off your chest. I feel like sometimes writing

0:33:15.080 --> 0:33:16.720
<v Speaker 3>things out gets that off your.

0:33:16.720 --> 0:33:18.880
<v Speaker 2>Cha fashion one as well. You write down on a

0:33:18.920 --> 0:33:22.000
<v Speaker 2>notepad and then you burn the piece of paper. Yeah

0:33:22.000 --> 0:33:23.840
<v Speaker 2>it's done. It's to be seen off again.

0:33:24.080 --> 0:33:26.520
<v Speaker 1>Or you could get a photo of them and burn it.

0:33:28.280 --> 0:33:30.280
<v Speaker 2>I've actually coming through.

0:33:30.800 --> 0:33:31.840
<v Speaker 1>I've actually done that.

0:33:31.720 --> 0:33:34.120
<v Speaker 3>With an ex boyfriend. I literally had a photo of

0:33:34.160 --> 0:33:36.440
<v Speaker 3>both of us and I burnt it and it really

0:33:36.480 --> 0:33:38.680
<v Speaker 3>like made me feel a lot better. Really, it was

0:33:38.720 --> 0:33:43.080
<v Speaker 3>like a real like moment of liken you, this has died,

0:33:43.160 --> 0:33:48.200
<v Speaker 3>this is literally burned, this relationship has burned, and now

0:33:48.200 --> 0:33:48.800
<v Speaker 3>it's over.

0:33:49.840 --> 0:33:52.280
<v Speaker 2>There, you go, I've done the writing it on a

0:33:52.360 --> 0:33:54.760
<v Speaker 2>piece of paper and burning it. Yeah, you're seeing what

0:33:54.800 --> 0:33:55.600
<v Speaker 2>your feelings die.

0:33:55.800 --> 0:33:57.280
<v Speaker 1>It's therapeutic, it is.

0:33:57.360 --> 0:33:59.440
<v Speaker 2>It is very therapeutic, and sometimes.

0:33:59.040 --> 0:34:03.160
<v Speaker 3>Like doing these kind of ritualistic things do kind of

0:34:03.200 --> 0:34:06.360
<v Speaker 3>give you that sense of closure. And the thing about ghosting,

0:34:06.400 --> 0:34:08.880
<v Speaker 3>which we know, is that you don't get closure and

0:34:08.920 --> 0:34:11.680
<v Speaker 3>you feel like the last memory you have with them

0:34:11.719 --> 0:34:14.960
<v Speaker 3>is this really positive happy date or whatever is in

0:34:15.000 --> 0:34:19.680
<v Speaker 3>your mind and then you're like, wait, what what happened? Okay, guys,

0:34:19.719 --> 0:34:23.480
<v Speaker 3>So just to reiterate one last time instead of ghosting,

0:34:23.680 --> 0:34:28.279
<v Speaker 3>because we don't condone ghosting, here are some things that

0:34:28.320 --> 0:34:31.359
<v Speaker 3>you can message. The first one is, I don't think

0:34:31.400 --> 0:34:34.880
<v Speaker 3>there's a spark between us. I'm so sorry. It was

0:34:34.960 --> 0:34:35.920
<v Speaker 3>really great meeting you.

0:34:36.160 --> 0:34:36.960
<v Speaker 1>Easy. Simple.

0:34:37.400 --> 0:34:39.880
<v Speaker 2>Another one is I feel like we're on different pages

0:34:39.920 --> 0:34:43.239
<v Speaker 2>and we're at different stages of our lives. Classic, it's

0:34:43.320 --> 0:34:44.319
<v Speaker 2>not you, it's me.

0:34:44.920 --> 0:34:45.920
<v Speaker 1>It's not you, it's me.

0:34:46.239 --> 0:34:48.719
<v Speaker 3>It's just like a bit savage for me, like it's

0:34:48.760 --> 0:34:50.839
<v Speaker 3>just been on one too many rom coms and I

0:34:50.920 --> 0:34:52.879
<v Speaker 3>feel like it's not you, it's me.

0:34:52.920 --> 0:34:57.000
<v Speaker 1>As a bit offensive. I mean, it's better than ghosting, true,

0:34:57.000 --> 0:35:01.400
<v Speaker 1>it's better than ghosting. And the final one. Unfortunately I

0:35:01.440 --> 0:35:04.000
<v Speaker 1>don't see a future between us. Thanks for everything.

0:35:04.320 --> 0:35:07.200
<v Speaker 2>That's just straight up and that's good. I like that one, and.

0:35:07.239 --> 0:35:10.600
<v Speaker 3>Like just have these little sentences in your notes so

0:35:10.640 --> 0:35:13.400
<v Speaker 3>that if you don't want to get really emotionally, like

0:35:13.520 --> 0:35:15.960
<v Speaker 3>have those emotional chats with someone, you can literally just

0:35:16.000 --> 0:35:17.600
<v Speaker 3>copy paste them through a move.

0:35:17.480 --> 0:35:22.680
<v Speaker 1>On with life. Sounds really really awful.

0:35:22.440 --> 0:35:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah it does, but you know some people do that.

0:35:24.520 --> 0:35:27.040
<v Speaker 3>So okay, guys, it's time for that part of the

0:35:27.080 --> 0:35:28.160
<v Speaker 3>show you've been waiting for.

0:35:28.280 --> 0:35:30.640
<v Speaker 1>It's called Where's Our Head At? And it's starting now.

0:35:34.200 --> 0:35:35.840
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So this is from one of our Where's Your

0:35:35.880 --> 0:35:36.640
<v Speaker 2>Head Out? Listeners.

0:35:36.719 --> 0:35:39.880
<v Speaker 3>It reads, I went on an amazing date with a girl,

0:35:40.160 --> 0:35:43.240
<v Speaker 3>such a good night, and we made plans for future dates,

0:35:43.719 --> 0:35:47.120
<v Speaker 3>but she wasn't available for any dates I suggested. And

0:35:47.200 --> 0:35:50.640
<v Speaker 3>now I'm left hanging thinking I had a different view

0:35:50.680 --> 0:35:53.960
<v Speaker 3>of the night to what she had. Now I'm judging

0:35:54.040 --> 0:35:57.440
<v Speaker 3>everything I said and did and feel really insecure going

0:35:57.480 --> 0:36:02.200
<v Speaker 3>into another dating situation because I think I'll be questioning everything.

0:36:02.760 --> 0:36:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Help all right, brother, I'm going to tell you straight up,

0:36:08.920 --> 0:36:10.160
<v Speaker 2>she's not interested in you.

0:36:10.400 --> 0:36:11.360
<v Speaker 1>She's not interested.

0:36:11.600 --> 0:36:15.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I wouldn't take it personally. Maybe you did say something.

0:36:15.760 --> 0:36:19.560
<v Speaker 2>Maybe maybe you did. Look, you'll never know. I suggest,

0:36:19.640 --> 0:36:21.520
<v Speaker 2>like we said earlier, not reaching out to her.

0:36:21.920 --> 0:36:25.400
<v Speaker 1>Look, I can kind of understand where this girl's coming from. Obviously.

0:36:25.840 --> 0:36:28.480
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes you go on a date, you meet a person,

0:36:28.760 --> 0:36:31.080
<v Speaker 3>they're actually a nice person, so you do have a

0:36:31.080 --> 0:36:31.560
<v Speaker 3>good date.

0:36:31.640 --> 0:36:33.239
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm always going to.

0:36:33.200 --> 0:36:36.200
<v Speaker 3>A date with the mentality like, let's make the most

0:36:36.200 --> 0:36:38.760
<v Speaker 3>of this, whether I like you or not. I'm gonna

0:36:38.760 --> 0:36:42.200
<v Speaker 3>have a fun date. I'm gonna have some wines, let's

0:36:42.239 --> 0:36:42.959
<v Speaker 3>get a bit lit.

0:36:43.160 --> 0:36:44.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:36:44.280 --> 0:36:46.200
<v Speaker 3>But at the end of the day, maybe she just

0:36:46.200 --> 0:36:48.960
<v Speaker 3>didn't want to break it to you that she wasn't

0:36:49.000 --> 0:36:51.200
<v Speaker 3>as interested as maybe you were.

0:36:51.880 --> 0:36:54.839
<v Speaker 1>It has nothing to do with you. It just wasn't

0:36:54.880 --> 0:36:55.319
<v Speaker 1>meant to be.

0:36:55.760 --> 0:36:58.919
<v Speaker 2>So he was trying to organize the next date while

0:36:58.920 --> 0:37:00.440
<v Speaker 2>they were still together on that date.

0:37:01.719 --> 0:37:04.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, look, she's probably not going to say to you,

0:37:04.760 --> 0:37:07.879
<v Speaker 3>I'm not interested. She's probably just going to agree, right.

0:37:08.480 --> 0:37:10.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't suggest doing that.

0:37:10.280 --> 0:37:12.360
<v Speaker 3>I've had someone do that, and I've agreed to a

0:37:12.480 --> 0:37:15.799
<v Speaker 3>date that I was absolutely never even looking like going on. Yeah,

0:37:15.960 --> 0:37:19.360
<v Speaker 3>I just it's nothing personal. Please don't take it personally

0:37:19.640 --> 0:37:20.200
<v Speaker 3>in future.

0:37:20.239 --> 0:37:22.840
<v Speaker 2>Mate, Probably just don't to ask for dates on a

0:37:22.880 --> 0:37:24.759
<v Speaker 2>first date. For the second date, maybe leave it a

0:37:24.760 --> 0:37:27.520
<v Speaker 2>bit played a bit cooler than that. No matter how

0:37:27.640 --> 0:37:30.600
<v Speaker 2>terrific you think that date is going, just try to

0:37:30.640 --> 0:37:32.640
<v Speaker 2>act a little bit cooler and rain it in a

0:37:32.719 --> 0:37:33.120
<v Speaker 2>little bit.

0:37:34.800 --> 0:37:38.239
<v Speaker 1>Okay, we have another listener who's written in and they say.

0:37:38.920 --> 0:37:40.960
<v Speaker 2>I was seeing a guy for a couple of dates.

0:37:41.239 --> 0:37:43.600
<v Speaker 2>We had sex on the third date. We are chatting

0:37:43.640 --> 0:37:46.360
<v Speaker 2>straight after, but the messages now have slowed down and

0:37:46.400 --> 0:37:49.440
<v Speaker 2>fizzled out. Last week, I double messaged him and I

0:37:49.480 --> 0:37:52.640
<v Speaker 2>have not heard back. Can I send a third to

0:37:53.120 --> 0:37:55.320
<v Speaker 2>explain my disappointment in his behavior?

0:37:56.040 --> 0:38:00.800
<v Speaker 1>Never double message.

0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:03.040
<v Speaker 2>Said that before? Like, if you're going to send another message,

0:38:03.200 --> 0:38:05.399
<v Speaker 2>you have to be ready to realize that they might

0:38:05.440 --> 0:38:06.280
<v Speaker 2>not message back.

0:38:06.640 --> 0:38:09.239
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Like, it sounds like he's kind of lost a

0:38:09.239 --> 0:38:11.719
<v Speaker 3>little bit of interest. As you said that, he could

0:38:11.719 --> 0:38:12.640
<v Speaker 3>have met someone else.

0:38:13.200 --> 0:38:15.680
<v Speaker 2>Maybe they know this sounds bad, but maybe he got

0:38:15.719 --> 0:38:17.799
<v Speaker 2>the sex on the third day and he realized this

0:38:17.960 --> 0:38:21.960
<v Speaker 2>isn't really what he wants to spend the foreseeable future with.

0:38:22.239 --> 0:38:26.280
<v Speaker 3>So you think the guys literally will go on dates

0:38:26.360 --> 0:38:29.600
<v Speaker 3>and once they get sex, they'll fuck off, that's the thing.

0:38:29.840 --> 0:38:31.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's very common.

0:38:31.880 --> 0:38:35.160
<v Speaker 1>This is why I hate man. Honestly, fuck men are

0:38:35.320 --> 0:38:36.680
<v Speaker 1>growth Well.

0:38:37.080 --> 0:38:39.239
<v Speaker 2>This guy obviously sounds like he's loved to thrill of

0:38:39.320 --> 0:38:40.480
<v Speaker 2>the chase and he's got it.

0:38:40.760 --> 0:38:43.960
<v Speaker 3>I just think the moment that someone doesn't text you back,

0:38:44.360 --> 0:38:45.799
<v Speaker 3>it speaks volumes.

0:38:45.880 --> 0:38:49.439
<v Speaker 1>And if you're double texting, I don't know. I just don't.

0:38:49.520 --> 0:38:51.160
<v Speaker 1>I just don't like a double text.

0:38:51.280 --> 0:38:53.839
<v Speaker 2>She should never send a third text straight.

0:38:53.560 --> 0:38:56.719
<v Speaker 3>Up if she wants to express her disappointment after they've

0:38:56.760 --> 0:38:59.680
<v Speaker 3>had sex. I mean that's fair, but it's not gonna

0:39:00.040 --> 0:39:02.640
<v Speaker 3>achieve the outcome that you want. And I think that's

0:39:02.719 --> 0:39:03.759
<v Speaker 3>the key point there.

0:39:04.000 --> 0:39:05.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so he seems like a bit of a fuck boy,

0:39:06.040 --> 0:39:08.000
<v Speaker 2>So I don't think he's going to send you the

0:39:08.000 --> 0:39:10.120
<v Speaker 2>message that you want to hear back, But do it

0:39:10.160 --> 0:39:11.000
<v Speaker 2>and let us know how it goes.

0:39:11.760 --> 0:39:14.080
<v Speaker 3>If it was me, i'd just bow out with my

0:39:14.200 --> 0:39:17.080
<v Speaker 3>dignity intact and say fuck you.

0:39:17.080 --> 0:39:18.880
<v Speaker 1>You're never going to hear from me again either.

0:39:19.320 --> 0:39:20.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:39:21.000 --> 0:39:23.720
<v Speaker 3>Okay, guys, that's all we have time for. We hope

0:39:23.719 --> 0:39:28.240
<v Speaker 3>you've enjoyed this episode. Make sure that you are staying

0:39:28.280 --> 0:39:30.440
<v Speaker 3>on top of our socials. That's where's your head? App

0:39:30.520 --> 0:39:34.560
<v Speaker 3>pod on Instagram and TikTok and make sure to give

0:39:34.640 --> 0:39:37.200
<v Speaker 3>us a five start review. Guys, we are a small

0:39:37.280 --> 0:39:41.919
<v Speaker 3>podcast and we really appreciate your reviews. Until next time,

0:39:42.080 --> 0:39:49.799
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, Siyah