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Speaker 1: Hey, people, how are you doing. It's time for another

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Speaker 1: episode of the John's Family Podcast. Hope you Hope you're

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Speaker 1: keeping safe and looking after your early neighbors and giving

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Speaker 1: your pets plenty of water. Enjoy Cooper. We have someone missing?

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Speaker 1: Who's that? Oh? God, I know, I'm not really sure

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Speaker 1: of it. It just feels like, I don't know. It just

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Speaker 1: feels a little empty of the room.

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Speaker 2: Is there seems more quiet, Everyone seems more relaxed.

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Speaker 1: It feels like I'm more room to sort of talk and.

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Speaker 2: And actually, yeah, get a word in without being yelled at?

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Speaker 1: Who is that? Who would? Who would that is missing?

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Speaker 1: Is it Charlie that's not here? Is it Charlie that's missing?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Jack, is something missing. I'm just trying

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Speaker 1: to think of some of our relatives now Jin still no,

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Speaker 1: I can't not know, not him his past. We don't

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Speaker 1: do that.

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Speaker 2: We don't do a podcast with like some sort of

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Speaker 2: crazy dictator. If we don't do it usually with Kim

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Speaker 2: Jong oon, do we.

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Speaker 3: Kim Jong.

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Speaker 1: Sort of sense to this another type of dictator. Oh,

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Speaker 1: Trisha's not he Oh that's right, of course, she will

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Speaker 1: listen to this podcast. She's not actually the dictator. There's

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Speaker 1: another person missing I think as well, who's a dictator,

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Speaker 1: but not Trish of course. Yeah, Trisha is quite crook

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Speaker 1: after a room. Yeah, the weekend, I've been Byron for

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Speaker 1: a wedding and she hasn't pulled up Well.

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Speaker 2: Well, I found out it's not only the crookedness that

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Speaker 2: has kept her out of this podcast as well. She

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Speaker 2: has a small bone to pick with two men in

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Speaker 2: this certain group you who go by the name of

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Speaker 2: Jack and Matthew. She's actually sent me quite a nasty

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Speaker 2: message regarding you two, saying, hey, Coop's not feeling well today.

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Speaker 2: Obviously I was doing breakfast radio, so I wasn't here

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Speaker 2: in the morning.

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Speaker 1: For who You're sitting watching breakfast.

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Speaker 2: Radio, sitting watching and just admiring I'm not feeling too

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Speaker 2: well today. I'm not going to do the podcast. I'll

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Speaker 2: print rundowns off if you could please give them to

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Speaker 2: Jack and Dad, as I'm not speaking to either of them.

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Speaker 2: And just even just that was a small fish in

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Speaker 2: trying to get me to ask, oh, what's wrong?

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Speaker 3: What did they do?

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Speaker 2: I didn't give it to her say small bait, yeah yeah,

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Speaker 2: And I said.

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Speaker 1: All g G.

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Speaker 4: And then she said Yeah, they're just really carrying on

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Speaker 4: at the moment, and Jack just has no respect for

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Speaker 4: the house and thinks he can just stick whatever he

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Speaker 4: wants where he wants, like a college dorm room.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't sound right.

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Speaker 3: Did you go into my room? Have you been in

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Speaker 3: my room lately? It is spotless.

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Speaker 2: She's referring to yesterday. Apparently Jack decided to hang up

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Speaker 2: a poster in his room.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't a poster, it was a.

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Speaker 1: Post of Justin Bieber. Let's let's fess up.

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Speaker 5: I put a like a piece of whiteboard whiteboard like

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Speaker 5: tape across my wall so I can write down my

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Speaker 5: jobs and stuff like that and plan ahead. And she

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Speaker 5: was fearful of the paint. It definitely said in the

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Speaker 5: description that it the adhesive isn't too hardcore, so it'll

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Speaker 5: be fine. But she didn't stop her from giving me

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Speaker 5: a hell of an afternoon.

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Speaker 1: I thought the way that you guys were basically addressing

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Speaker 1: one another, that you that you'd pulled it off and

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Speaker 1: basically the house had fallen down.

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Speaker 5: It made me feel like I was twelve again, Like

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Speaker 5: I'm twenty six, for God's sake, She's coming at me walls,

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Speaker 5: like seriously, it's just no respect.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, as we said, trush Coat's saying to

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Speaker 1: me all the time, when we're we gonna knock this

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Speaker 1: house over. It like everything's broken, everything's falling past, go

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Speaker 1: knock it over. And then when we said you suggested yesterday,

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Speaker 1: I look at the end of the day, we're going

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Speaker 1: to put knock it over soon anyway, she goes, what

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Speaker 1: knock it over?

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Speaker 5: No, we won't.

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Speaker 1: Peach thought my god. Every morning I wake up, she's

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Speaker 1: administering the last rights to this house all.

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Speaker 5: The time when people come to the house and goes, oh,

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Speaker 5: it's a knockdown. It's a knockdown soon soon.

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Speaker 1: What's she saying about us?

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Speaker 3: Can you imagine.

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Speaker 5: It?

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Speaker 6: Now?

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Speaker 2: Gave wants to do it now?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Now stop pretty empty.

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Speaker 4: Our listeners are giving us pick up lines that they've

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Speaker 4: sent through.

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Speaker 2: First pick up line.

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Speaker 1: Pick up line back in the day. I use this one.

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Speaker 4: Is your data thief, the way you sell the stars

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Speaker 4: die and put him in your eyes.

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Speaker 1: That's an old one.

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Speaker 7: I've had that one, have you.

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Speaker 8: I use it is your data thief? I know when

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Speaker 8: you really I gave it to him, No, no, no,

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Speaker 8: and then continue on.

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Speaker 1: It was going the big dog suit. By the way,

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Speaker 1: it's a little rough.

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Speaker 2: I took offense rating out of ten anyone ever reading.

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Speaker 1: It's a bit of oldie. Look, I'll give it a three.

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Speaker 2: Out of ten.

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Speaker 7: It's pretty weak.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't like it.

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Speaker 3: I'll give you a fourth effort if you actually say

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Speaker 3: it to someone. Next one pick up line is would

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Speaker 3: you like an Australian ki looks like a French kiss?

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Speaker 1: I love you, I love the little chuck laughter.

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Speaker 5: It was that was That was a four until he

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Speaker 5: started laughing and becomes six.

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Speaker 3: I think I like it.

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Speaker 7: I like it too. I think that Do you think

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Speaker 7: that he actually made that up?

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Speaker 3: No? No, no, that's from the in Between Us Around

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Speaker 3: Forever Australian Kiss.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's very good, it's very clever.

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Speaker 3: I mean you.

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Speaker 1: Stole it an Australian kiss. It's the same as it's

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Speaker 1: like a French kiss, but it's down under and around

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Speaker 1: the back. I think that's a New Zealand kiss.

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Speaker 8: All right.

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Speaker 2: I like that one.

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Speaker 1: The last one. That one you walk in until Byron

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Speaker 1: walk up to a girl and say, hey, have you

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Speaker 1: tube lately?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: No, you say, how about it? Root? Anyway, straight to

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Speaker 1: the point you old romantic Thanks for Yeah. Whatever that work,

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Speaker 1: I'll shoot it from a distance.

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Speaker 8: I got one sent to me. This is from Rennie Kravitz.

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Speaker 8: I'm so jealous of your heart. It gets to do

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Speaker 8: something I dream about. Girl says, what's that? He replies,

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Speaker 8: pumping deep inside you one night.

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Speaker 1: That's excellent. Well, I gave put your shirt on.

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Speaker 2: I don't like hearing that coming out of your mouth.

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Speaker 7: Sorry, I thought it was very clever, though.

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Speaker 8: He made me giggle.

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Speaker 3: She got a bit of ship.

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Speaker 5: The other day when we were at at the Hilton,

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Speaker 5: people saw me wearing this kit and they said, we've

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Speaker 5: been watching the podcast and you've worn this kit two

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Speaker 5: weeks in a row, and now it's three weeks in

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Speaker 5: a row, and in protest. I I'm gonna wear it

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Speaker 5: all the way to imagine Jack.

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Speaker 7: Put your other bloody clothes on.

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Speaker 1: Men believe every day you need to start infatuation.

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Speaker 2: Three weeks ago on the podcast and everyone shamed me

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Speaker 2: for putting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's gone over the other side. Now we're on

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Speaker 1: his side.

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Speaker 7: You've got other things to wear, mates, I'm.

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Speaker 5: Going to protest again and put them in the wash.

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Speaker 5: I want to wear this exact magic around.

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Speaker 7: And feel and feel free to put away the clothes

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Speaker 7: that I washed for you. They're on your bed as well.

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Speaker 1: Okay, this is going to bring me to a point. Okay,

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Speaker 1: my brother Andrew, his partner Kate, she sent something through

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Speaker 1: last night to Cooper and I. This is quite amazing.

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Speaker 1: There is This was put up on a website from

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Speaker 1: an animal animal rescue is It says available for adoption

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Speaker 1: a father and son dogs. They are the sext vaccinators

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Speaker 1: and vaccinated and chipped. They are a father and son team.

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Speaker 1: They are called Maddie and Cooper. John's okay. Now, Maddie

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Speaker 1: was born in twenty fifteen. They Cooper was born in

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Speaker 1: twenty seventeen. They are happy, even friendly boys who are

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Speaker 1: no trouble at all. Just they are affectionate, dog friendly,

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Speaker 1: love their walks, sleep inside. Did someone give them a home?

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Speaker 1: Maddie is booked in for a dental appointment on tenth

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Speaker 1: the fifth, twenty four. You located located at Castle Hill.

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Speaker 1: If you want to get involved, text Karen. We're going

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Speaker 1: to read her name at the moment, even though it

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Speaker 1: was on the website.

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Speaker 7: So there you are.

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Speaker 1: You're asking people to buy that.

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Speaker 2: Well, you read the.

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Speaker 8: Whole and they looked like sort of Australian shepherd prime like.

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Speaker 7: Very like, brought a collige sort of Yeah, dogs tan

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Speaker 7: and white.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you what d sext as well, Dad, you're

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Speaker 2: your d SX as well.

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Speaker 1: And sleep inside. Well that's the only thing we differ from.

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Speaker 1: But they're cute dogs. The father's cute anyway.

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Speaker 2: I mean is that so? Is that the dad is

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Speaker 2: the dad only two years older than the dog than Cooper?

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Speaker 1: Sorry, yeah, the dogs mate as opposed to humans.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, a bit of an early start on him, but

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Speaker 2: two years old.

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Speaker 1: Trish and Jack, don't be felt, don't be left don't

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Speaker 1: feel like you've been left out. Exciting news, the World

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Speaker 1: Health Authority have announced there is a new strain of

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Speaker 1: COVID sweeping the planet. Doctors warned people to look out

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Speaker 1: for the key symptoms, which are someone winging incessantly about

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Speaker 1: loved ones, either not unpacking the dishwasher or not picking

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Speaker 1: up after themselves. There's also been reports of infecting individuals

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Speaker 1: developing club foot and blaming everyone else for it. They've

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Speaker 1: named it Trish John's one word. So it's got nothing

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Speaker 1: to you.

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Speaker 3: You've got some more information around your.

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Speaker 1: Us, around around Jack as well, well not really, Jack

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Speaker 1: again for the World Health author already. Uh, there's a

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Speaker 1: mosquito which is carrying a bacteria that when it buites

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Speaker 1: people out for propensity to wear the same clothes every day,

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Speaker 1: as well as not cleaning barbecue plates and not respecting

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Speaker 1: other tastes, other people's taste of music, and a clear

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Speaker 1: sign is that the inside of their car looks like

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Speaker 1: an overbooked backpacker is filled with stinky French tourists who

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Speaker 1: don't wear deodorant, mirk cologne. Jack Carl and John's one word.

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Speaker 5: Would I wouldn't throw stones, cobber, because I've seen your

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Speaker 5: car of late and trust me, it is like a

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Speaker 5: pigsty mate.

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Speaker 1: Blame the hitchhikers, not the driver.

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Speaker 2: I do have a crackle the story for you from Japan,

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Speaker 2: there was a story that was getting talked about about Shabany.

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Speaker 2: He's now he's known as the hot gorilla.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think I saw this, but everyone was talking about

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Speaker 2: it in and around work the day.

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Speaker 7: Do you know what type of gorilla is?

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Speaker 3: Silver back?

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Speaker 2: There's only one type of gorilla, isn't there?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? If yeah, male guerrilla, you've just got Well, there's

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Speaker 1: a silver back.

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Speaker 2: I'm going with a silver back. So there is a

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Speaker 2: zoo in Japan that you know they were going, okay,

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Speaker 2: I think they were. You know, they were meeting. You know,

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Speaker 2: we brought a zoo their meeting, ends meet. They were

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Speaker 2: paying for the food and whatnot. So Shabanny has now

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Speaker 2: grown up and he is being described as the local

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Speaker 2: Japanese women as sexy, good looking, metrosexual.

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Speaker 7: I wonder how a gorilla is metrosexual.

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Speaker 2: I think just like a lot of it's so the

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Speaker 2: girls have been describing his eye like he's got a

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Speaker 2: really good gaze and he's turning women. One you go

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Speaker 2: see that he got a picture there.

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Speaker 1: It's like from the Planet of the Apes.

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Speaker 3: He looks really good.

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Speaker 2: Look cuddle that one underneath it the day there's one there,

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Speaker 2: one of the right.

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Speaker 7: That's a post.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean, he's you know what he

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Speaker 2: looks like.

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Speaker 1: Sea. Suppose I'm going to send him a text.

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Speaker 7: One second I get like, yeah, that's a pose. Hey,

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Speaker 7: arm on thigh, Yeah, one leg slightly lifted.

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Speaker 1: Just let you know that my wife has just cared

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Speaker 1: you compared you to Shabani Shaban.

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Speaker 3: I don't take that. I don't think he's going to know.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I was going to know.

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Speaker 2: But so what's happened is they've got a stat that

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Speaker 2: the female rates since the hype around Shabarney, he's gone up.

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Speaker 2: The female rates have gone up like thirty six percent.

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Speaker 8: Females going into the zoo.

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Speaker 2: Like they're getting way more female visits. They're making way

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Speaker 2: more money. And the gorilla exhibit is just packed.

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Speaker 7: And where the ladies go, the men will follow it.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's what they say. That's what the other that's

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Speaker 1: the female knights and Newcastle they called Wednesday Night. Wednesday

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Speaker 1: Nights will always free drinks for the lady folk in Newcastle.

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Speaker 1: Build it and they will come.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I suppose that's a good marketing tactic, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: You don't be really good if anyone you know, if

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Speaker 1: you we've got a few Japanese listeners over there. I

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Speaker 1: just want to drop a little tip that I know

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Speaker 1: about that if you can take Shabani to the next level,

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Speaker 1: take for the zoo to take this to the next level,

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Speaker 1: really turn into cash. If he takes off water pistol,

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Speaker 1: fill it full of female perfume and spray it on

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Speaker 1: Shabanne and mate, he will just be honestly tearing the

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Speaker 1: ears off it for hours. That's the truth, years of

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Speaker 1: what what.

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Speaker 2: Masturbating.

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Speaker 7: We don't want a set show what he's going there.

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Speaker 8: The women him because he's the women like him because

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Speaker 8: he's like sexy, and he's obviously engaging with them and

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Speaker 8: gazing at them.

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Speaker 1: Remember going, I mean under the at the zoo. Who

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Speaker 1: went there? The grill and closure and mate, what he's doing?

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Speaker 1: He goes, he's scratching and I said, tell you what,

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Speaker 1: whatever he's scratching is growing pretty quickly. And some sort

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Speaker 1: of mosquitoes, not zoo, no no, no, Toronto Parkso I

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Speaker 1: traveled down there from I was tipped off by a

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Speaker 1: person that if you put if you get have gorillas.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to say, it's just how my man,

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Speaker 1: I just don't understand. And it puts it, you put

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Speaker 1: it on them, It turns them on and they will

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Speaker 1: furiously master.

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Speaker 6: How did this man that you know exactly? How was

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Speaker 6: he the first man that knew that I'll call David

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Speaker 6: Adam what a strange fact?

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Speaker 5: Well, actually sorry, but I tell you, did we ask

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Speaker 5: you when it was your first time?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 7: When did you first?

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Speaker 2: Drenk I don't think we did ask you.

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Speaker 7: No, we did.

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Speaker 5: No.

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Speaker 7: He definitely didn't thank you.

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Speaker 1: For asking us. Fifteen. I hadn't had a drink before then,

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Speaker 1: and my mates had had a few drinks. They were

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Speaker 1: a year old or some of my mates, and they

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Speaker 1: were like, come on, let's get in. So we went

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Speaker 1: to Maddie Lowry's place and we bought a flagon of

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Speaker 1: brown musket, and we brought a goon bag full of mozille.

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Speaker 1: I mean, what could go wrong?

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Speaker 7: See, this is the thing whenever there's flagon or goon

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Speaker 7: bag mentioned, never nothing.

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Speaker 1: Says youth and excitement like goon bag and flagon. Anyway

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Speaker 1: I had, I scowled like a glass of brown musket,

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Speaker 1: completely passed out. Woke up an hour or so later.

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Speaker 1: I went inside, watched Weird Science with Kelly lebrockh God,

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Speaker 1: and woke up, went to sleep again, and woke up

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Speaker 1: the next morning with no eyebrows, which was very hard

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Speaker 1: to explain to Gale and Gary. Yeah. I rang them

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Speaker 1: on a public telephone sort of ease the pain and

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Speaker 1: just said I've had a bad fall. They're like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: what's happened? And I fell? I fell over the road

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Speaker 1: on wipe my eyebrows off. Girl goes get home, got.

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Speaker 3: A straw like that.

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Speaker 5: A mate fell asleep at a party when we were

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Speaker 5: I think we might have been about eighteen. You fell

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Speaker 5: asleep and the boys grabbed that blue permanent marker. He

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Speaker 5: was proper out. They covered his face almost from all

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Speaker 5: neck to his entirety of his face was blue like

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Speaker 5: a member of the Blue Man group. Went to go

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Speaker 5: get scrubbed off. Couldn't had to go to a golf

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Speaker 5: day with his dad and all his dad's business partners and.

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Speaker 3: Calling him smurful day.

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Speaker 7: As they would. Yeah, appropriately, so I hope he wore

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Speaker 7: a white hat.

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Speaker 1: How's your weeks? Tell you what? I had a quite

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Speaker 1: an episode yesterday.

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Speaker 7: You had a few episodes.

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Speaker 1: I was in the city at a at a place anyway.

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Speaker 1: I'm in the shop and I this sort of scream

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Speaker 1: and I turn around this woman and goes, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it's you. And I was thinking, oh my god, low standards,

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Speaker 1: Oh to you? What's you? Oh my god? Can I

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Speaker 1: get a photo? And she started saying to other people

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Speaker 1: in the shop, can we get a fuck? Can you

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Speaker 1: take the photo? I'm going, oh my god, how embarrassing

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Speaker 1: is this? Now the people go, oh my god, who

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Speaker 1: is this person? And I'm going, okay, yep. Anyway, she

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Speaker 1: kept talking and you know, yeah, make one a bit there. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's great. Great. So I go for a bit of

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Speaker 1: a walk around. Next minute, I can see she's tailing

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Speaker 1: me and I'm going.

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Speaker 3: Oh, now it sounds like baby Reindy.

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Speaker 1: And I'm going, oh no, what's going on here? And

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Speaker 1: then and I turned. I'm sort of walking around a

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Speaker 1: little bit next for five minutes later I run into again.

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Speaker 1: She goes, oh god, we'll keep running into each other.

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Speaker 1: I'm going, yes, we do, and we certainly do. She goes, oh,

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Speaker 1: can I just show you? I'll put it up on

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Speaker 1: my Instagram? Can I show it? And I'm going we must,

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Speaker 1: and she holds it up. She goes, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I just met the wonderfully friend friendly Andrew John's and

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Speaker 1: I can't.

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Speaker 4: That happens to you so much.

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Speaker 3: That does happen a lot. He don't even look that.

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Speaker 7: You do not look the same. I've been with Matt

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Speaker 7: and someone's come up. It's embarrassing. If he just plays

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Speaker 7: along with it, I die.

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Speaker 3: Well, So what did you see?

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Speaker 2: Did you see?

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Speaker 3: Your brother had an nasty incident.

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Speaker 2: He's oversurfing in the Cook Islands.

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Speaker 7: Doesn't he work?

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Speaker 1: That's an excellent question. What sort of person, like seriously,

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Speaker 1: mid season just goes mid season goes away in a

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Speaker 1: surfing trip. Shame on you? And you know, like I

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Speaker 1: love the fact that he's in the Cook Islands at

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Speaker 1: a five star resort, like basically trowling for sympathy off

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Speaker 1: people look at that. I fell off on a surfboard

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Speaker 1: and cut my hand on the roof. Shame on you,

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Speaker 1: Shame on.

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Speaker 3: You must be a good surf.

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Speaker 1: No question what we clucked can do. That is, given

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Speaker 1: the fact there's no phone boxes, where would he get changed?

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Speaker 3: Where does ticket men get changed?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good question. Where does the car.

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Speaker 2: They usually get change in the car out there?

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Speaker 3: Definitely published.

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Speaker 7: I guess the public toilet. Public the only place the other.

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Speaker 4: Day I had to get I got changed in its

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Speaker 4: studio and then on the way out, But then on

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Speaker 4: the way ticketman had had a pretty big weekend and

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Speaker 4: his gut started to rumble, and I like something started

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Speaker 4: leaking out, so I had to run to a public toilet,

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Speaker 4: and it takes ages to get it all off, and

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Speaker 4: the ticket man may have shoot himself a little bit.

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Speaker 1: I tell you what, you wait till Friday, you'd be

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Speaker 1: certainly sh shitting yourself at.

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Speaker 3: Chase Watt Swift.

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Speaker 5: I'm predicting there's going to be as going to as

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Speaker 5: you get closer to the weekend, it's just going to

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Speaker 5: be more and more people turning up to ticket Man's events.

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Speaker 1: I've got something to ask you. I want you to

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Speaker 1: ask Jackie O this and come back with the answer.

401
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 1: Asked Jackie about the time that I used to go

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Speaker 1: on the Colin Jackie Oh show. Was Red Dagan right

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00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: when they were two day two day? Yep? So I

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00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 1: got there one day and I went into the toilet,

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Speaker 1: the disabled toilet, to get changed room, and I'll walked

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Speaker 1: in there anyway, I thought I'd locked the door. It's

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Speaker 1: one of those ones you got. Is it locked? Is

408
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 1: it like? Yeah, it's locked. Anyway, I'm standing there completely

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Speaker 1: naked with the red wig and mustache. Jackie walks in.

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Speaker 1: She went, Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Right there,

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Speaker 1: she goes, oh my god, I've just seen Red Reagan.

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Speaker 5: I have an idea for a podcast year. I'd love

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Speaker 5: to see Red Reagan have a one on one with

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Speaker 5: ticket man.

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Speaker 1: You're going to say someone else down. Well, hope you

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Speaker 1: enjoyed that. Peopil's and great memories from this year. I've

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Speaker 1: got how funny, I've got funny. We really out well.

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Speaker 1: I am, honestly Trish's jokes feed in a low light anyway,

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Speaker 1: make sure to tune in next week for the final

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Speaker 1: round of highlights. We'll talk to you then.