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Speaker 1: Appoge production. Today's topic is all about slowing it down

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Speaker 1: your nervous system and just calming the fuck down. And

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Speaker 1: one of my favorite sayings you guys would have heard

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Speaker 1: me say on my social media so many times is

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Speaker 1: you must fill your own cup up so that you

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Speaker 1: can overflow to those around you into what you care

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Speaker 1: about and give everyone the best of you, not the

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Speaker 1: rest of you. Love that if your cup is not full,

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Speaker 1: you cannot overflow, and if you're depleted, you have nothing

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Speaker 1: left to give to yourself, to your kids, to your partner.

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Speaker 1: And that's why it's so important to consistently fill that

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Speaker 1: up and not once a year go and get a massage. No,

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Speaker 1: we're talking daily, every single day, do something. But I

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Speaker 1: suppose we're going more into how to really create that

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Speaker 1: calmness in your body and what happens when you.

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Speaker 2: Don't as I feel like there's a lot of guilt

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Speaker 2: around this, Like I feel like there's a lot of

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Speaker 2: shame and guilt about Like I feel like we're so

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Speaker 2: in an era where everyone's like, I'm a boss bitch,

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Speaker 2: I can do this, I can do that, and then

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Speaker 2: you fucking end up being anxiety riddled and you're like,

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Speaker 2: how the fuck do I end up burnt out? How

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Speaker 2: did I yeah, all burnt out? Like how did I

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Speaker 2: end up here? And it's because people feel guilty for

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Speaker 2: taking out a little bit of time or like sitting

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Speaker 2: on the couch for half now to read, going for

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Speaker 2: a half an hour walk on your own, Like I

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Speaker 2: feel like there's a lot of guilt around it.

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Speaker 1: Because of society and like social media. I know when

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Speaker 1: I go to dance class, where I go on date night,

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Speaker 1: there is always a comment in my DMS about it.

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Speaker 1: How can you leave your kids behind? God, you have

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Speaker 1: so much time for yourself, Like that must be nice.

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Speaker 1: I don't get that, you know, and a lot of

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Speaker 1: the time is projection. But I'm like, I make this

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Speaker 1: a priority because I'm a better mom, I'm a better wife,

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Speaker 1: I'm a better person when I take care of myself,

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Speaker 1: Like it is not selfish for me to go to

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Speaker 1: the gym. I've been called selfish that many times in

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Speaker 1: the time I've been a parent to go to the gym.

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Speaker 1: I like, this makes me a better mum. It's not

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Speaker 1: selfish me to take care of myself. Plus, I'm showing

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Speaker 1: my kids how important it is for them to put

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Speaker 1: themselves first. I don't want them to grow up thinking

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Speaker 1: that they can't look after themselves. They are so important.

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Speaker 2: I was the anxiety ridden person. I struggle with such

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Speaker 2: bad anxiety, and I never stopped. I was like sweet,

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Speaker 2: like I feel like, I'm so busy, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: What's the next thing. I'd finish and I'd finally be like,

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Speaker 2: I've got a good balance, and then I'd throw something

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Speaker 2: else in like I was the queen of doing that

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Speaker 2: and just saying yes to everything and continually saying no

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Speaker 2: to myself, and I'd get such bad anxiety. I'd get

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Speaker 2: so burnt out. Yeah, I'd get sick all the time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, your immune system. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But I felt guilt around it. I felt like if

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Speaker 2: I went to the gym when I should be working

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Speaker 2: or I should be doing this, and maybe fear maybe

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Speaker 2: it's guilt and fear, maybe fearful of like, oh, trying

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Speaker 2: to make sure that I need to do this and

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Speaker 2: I need to do that, and like what if I'd like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And of scarcely, like if you go to the gym,

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Speaker 1: you could be putting that time into work.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of fear of like, fuck, I need

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Speaker 2: to be spending my time doing this and you spending

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Speaker 2: my time doing that. I've just slowed down so much,

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Speaker 2: and I can't believe how much more peace you are

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Speaker 2: with yourself of course, how much more you get to

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Speaker 2: know yourself, how much the snappy I am, and like

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Speaker 2: far out it's like the one point in my day

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Speaker 2: that I just.

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Speaker 1: So look forward to once again. It's like creating that space.

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Speaker 1: When you stop and slow down, you create space to

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Speaker 1: really connect with yourself and checking and make sure you

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Speaker 1: are aligned and that you're not just keeping busy to

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Speaker 1: numb out from something or to run away from something,

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Speaker 1: because that's a coping mechanism a lot of people use.

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Speaker 1: It's like, I'm so busy, busy, busy, And that's why

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Speaker 1: I hate why there's like hustle, hustle, boss, bitch stuff.

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Speaker 1: It's glamorized because it's like at what cost?

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Speaker 2: And also like, of course it's going to be different

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Speaker 2: from person to person, but there's no reason why somebody

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Speaker 2: can't find five minutes to sit down and have a

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Speaker 2: coffee outside on their own. You can wake it five

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Speaker 2: minutes earlier before the kids wake up, or even tell them,

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Speaker 2: like mummy's gonna go have a coffee outside. This is

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Speaker 2: Mummy's me. Ti, I'm gonna be five minutes if you

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Speaker 2: need me, like, I'm right here. Like yeah, you know,

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Speaker 2: once they get a bit older, but even if it's

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Speaker 2: five minutes out of your day, doesn't need to be

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Speaker 2: like going to the gym, going for a walk, doing this,

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Speaker 2: listen to a podcast, reading book. You have to do

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Speaker 2: all of them, and not every day. Is like I'm

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Speaker 2: sure you feel the same, not every day to feel

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Speaker 2: with all of them, but it's prioritizing something in each day.

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Speaker 1: It literally is just like finding those little pockets of

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Speaker 1: time for you. Yeah, and you know we're going to

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Speaker 1: go into the things that we do, but if you don't,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna catch up on you.

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Speaker 2: Goes back to that old saying that at what cost.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it will catch up on you. You will

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Speaker 1: burn out, but you won't be able to think as clearly.

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Speaker 1: You'll get brain foggy, you'll forget things, you'll get snappy,

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Speaker 1: you won't be showing up as a person that you

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Speaker 1: know you can be and that you want to be.

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Speaker 1: You're so stretched.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's.

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Speaker 1: Not goals, hashtag goals. It's not being a piece as goals.

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Speaker 1: Living aligned is goals, like living from purpose and passion

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Speaker 1: from a place of heart, not a place of fear

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Speaker 1: is goals.

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Speaker 2: And also it gives you space and time to actually

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Speaker 2: lean into being like, oh, what do I like doing?

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Speaker 2: Like even me pick up the guitar and singing. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, I see this all the time.

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Speaker 2: I've done it for years. And then I was like

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Speaker 2: trying to figure out things to do that would like

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Speaker 2: just for me. Yeah, And I was like, this is

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Speaker 2: something when I go up there and I do like,

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Speaker 2: this is just for me, and it's me connecting with me,

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Speaker 2: and it's me doing something for me, and it's filling

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Speaker 2: out my own cup and it's just finding like when

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Speaker 2: you have this space to sit down and like journal

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Speaker 2: do this, sometimes it can spark and it's just like

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Speaker 2: a cycle, isn't it. Like you start one thing and

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Speaker 2: then you're like, oh, I could do this if I

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Speaker 2: get up you know, twenty minutes earlier, maybe I could

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Speaker 2: do that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And it all.

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Speaker 2: Makes up all these little decisions make up who you

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Speaker 2: are and how.

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Speaker 1: You show up and when you feel the difference of

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Speaker 1: you putting in this work and implementing these things, it

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Speaker 1: becomes addictive, Like I just know when I don't do

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Speaker 1: those things that I'm not the mom I want to be.

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Speaker 1: I'm not as patient, I'm not as fun like I

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Speaker 1: snap way easier. If I'm not doing things that make

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Speaker 1: me feel feminine and flowy and sexy, whatever, I'm not

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Speaker 1: the partner that I want to be and that I

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Speaker 1: know I can be. So it's our responsibility to do this.

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Speaker 1: But let's talk about the things that we personally do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: to fill up our own cup and to come our

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Speaker 1: nervous system and get ourselves in a state of resting.

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Speaker 1: What do you do personally?

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Speaker 2: So for me, reading is just like number one. But

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Speaker 2: I want to say, I feel like I had this

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Speaker 2: thing with reading where I always felt like if I

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Speaker 2: read a book it had to be a personal development. Yes,

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Speaker 2: we've had this coma stuck in that cycle. And when

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Speaker 2: I actually picked up a book and read a really

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Speaker 2: good fiction that I loved, it made me fall in

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Speaker 2: love with it in a totally different way. It feels

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Speaker 2: like you're watching a TV series only that, but when

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Speaker 2: you're reading, it's helping your knowledge expand in so many

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Speaker 2: other ways. You get faster right at the more you

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Speaker 2: do it, it's like another muscle that you've got. So

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Speaker 2: reading has been right for me. I've loved it, and

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Speaker 2: I probably prioritize around about an hour a day to read.

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Speaker 2: But I've been getting up early. I've been getting up

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Speaker 2: at like latest five point thirty, and then sometimes if

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Speaker 2: I really want to read and I want to get

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Speaker 2: heaps done, then I wait up like four forty five. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I just got a bed earlier. Yeah. And then another

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Speaker 2: one for me has been well, I don't know if

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Speaker 2: the gym necessarily slows my nervous system down, but it

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Speaker 2: makes me feel fucking good. So that's another thing that

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Speaker 2: I've been really enjoy doing, but I don't know if

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Speaker 2: it necessarily slows me down. Music has been great. It's

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Speaker 2: so funny though, because saying this music like a year ago,

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Speaker 2: not even a eeogo six months ago, I'm Rebell was

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Speaker 2: saying to everyone, I can't even listen to music because

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Speaker 2: it makes me so sad like, and now it's like

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Speaker 2: become that thing again that I'm really really loving and

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Speaker 2: it's just the simple things. Honestly, for me, it's like

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Speaker 2: when Miller and Lincoln and that were babies. Just having

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Speaker 2: a coffee on my own, just waking up and having

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Speaker 2: that five minutes of peace before they get up, or

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Speaker 2: even just getting up before them and like having a

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Speaker 2: share and doing their makeup before they wake up, so

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Speaker 2: I can start my day off on the right foot,

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Speaker 2: nice and slow. I'm not frazzled and rushed before my

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Speaker 2: day even begins. Walking. Yeah, listening to podcasts yeah, and

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Speaker 2: sometimes too, Like you can really find those good moments

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Speaker 2: to saw your nervous system down, like when you're in

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Speaker 2: the car, so you're doing two things at once. I

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Speaker 2: listened to something that perks you up. Listen to a

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Speaker 2: good podcast Shameless Place. Yeah, it's those little things that

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Speaker 2: really make all the difference. So what is it for you.

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Speaker 1: I've got quite a few different things that I like

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Speaker 1: to do. Getting out of nature for me, really slows

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Speaker 1: me down. And I love going to the beach, just

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Speaker 1: like the sound of the waves, the smell of the ocean,

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Speaker 1: the sand of my feet, just like grounding to earth,

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Speaker 1: like to mother Nature. I just feel this like instant,

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Speaker 1: I breathe again and I stop. So nature for me

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Speaker 1: is big breath work, even if it's not like an

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Speaker 1: intense breathwork session like Steve booked us a couple of

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Speaker 1: breathwork the other day and it was amazing. It was

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Speaker 1: forty five minutes long. But I'm just talking just getting

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Speaker 1: up and taking ten big, slow, intentional breath. And however

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Speaker 1: you start the day off, I feel like has an

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Speaker 1: overflowed the rest of your day. So starting off with

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Speaker 1: breath is just so calming, and I feel like I

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Speaker 1: just go into the day so much calmer than what

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Speaker 1: I would if I was to get on my phone

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Speaker 1: and smash out my DMS or emails or read the

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Speaker 1: news or something like that. They ever read the news.

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Speaker 1: Alone time for me where like very rare that it

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Speaker 1: happens when no one else is in the house. But

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Speaker 1: when no one else is in the house, how fucking

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Speaker 1: good is it? It actually never happens now Tyler's there obviously,

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Speaker 1: But alone time where I'm not distracted by noise, I've

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Speaker 1: really learned. I'm really sound sensitive me too. I get

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Speaker 1: really anxious when there's a lot of people in my

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Speaker 1: house lots of noise. Even Taj at the moment. He's

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Speaker 1: love him to death, but he's a big energy. And

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Speaker 1: sometimes I'm like, Taj, I need you to go down

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Speaker 1: to a level two, like just let's just quieten down

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Speaker 1: a little bit because he's so loud and yelling and

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Speaker 1: throwing his toys that this morning he's banging this plane

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Speaker 1: and I was trying to have a conversation with Steve,

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Speaker 1: and I just makes me really anxious, like I need

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Speaker 1: to some more chill sounds. So music's really big for

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Speaker 1: me as well, Like there's a time and place for

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Speaker 1: all different types of music, like if I want to

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Speaker 1: get pumped up or if I want to relax. But

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Speaker 1: sometimes I've got one of those little Google boxes to

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Speaker 1: be like hey Google, and you.

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Speaker 2: Ask, yeah, relaxation music. Yeah, stuff like that. So nice,

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Speaker 2: so good.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: I love that journeling.

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Speaker 1: We both love to love journaling. I also love, like

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Speaker 1: just coaching sessions with my coach Taylor. I feel like

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Speaker 1: really calmed my nervous system because anything that I have

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Speaker 1: been feeling is sitting there and I haven't known how

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Speaker 1: to navigate through, or journaling hasn't quite hit the spot,

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Speaker 1: or I'm struggling like to understand something. When we unpack

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Speaker 1: that together, I walk away feeling like a weight sifted

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Speaker 1: off my shoulders and that just really centers me and

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Speaker 1: like makes it fool. So much calmer connection time too,

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Speaker 1: with loved ones, when you're like not on your phones,

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Speaker 1: you're like face to face, you're having quality time together.

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Speaker 1: That's really really calming for me. Well,