WEBVTT - #2043 Please Don't Say "Moist" - Bobby Cappuccio 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:02.559 I get a team. It's a you project. It's Bobby 0:00:02.560 --> 0:00:05.720 and Tiff, It's Craig, it's a it's a third Yeah, 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:09.160 it's a Thursday. It's twelve thirty four in Melbourne. It 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:12.680 is I believe it's five thirty four on the other 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:16.480 side of the world in California? Am I correct? Bobby 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:20.880 in the PM? Yes, so Wednesday night, five thirty four 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:29.440 pm and Tiff in Elwood it's nineteen eighty nine. So yeah, 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:33.280 how's how is Elwood? Speaking of the past? How is it? 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:36.440 It's Elwood's so great? I mean, what else do you need? 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:37.600 Yeah? 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:39.839 What do you love about? What do you love about Elwood? 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:42.559 Give a quick kind of sales pitch. You're on the stage. 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:45.080 People are thinking about moving to Victoria. They don't know 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:48.239 where to go. You've got twenty seconds to sell them on. 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:53.640 Money's no object, clearly because they're moving to Elwood. Sell 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:57.280 Elwood for us. What's the what's the sales pitch? 0:00:57.520 --> 0:01:01.120 Well, it's just this little village vibe right, you know, 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:03.840 on the cusp of the city, right next to the beach. 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:07.280 It's a little bit cut off from too much public transport, 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:10.559 so you don't get too many yahoos. And it's there's 0:01:10.600 --> 0:01:13.800 plane trees everywhere and it's beautiful. It's beautiful. 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:18.560 Is it a bit bohemian or not really bohemian or 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:21.320 is it a bit laid back? I know they do 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:23.840 have a good cookie shop that you've been giving the 0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:24.839 most mileage. 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:27.280 Oh my god, I just had someone message to say 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:30.440 they just landed back into Melbourne from the airport. They're 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:33.160 heading straight to the cookie shop. They're there right now. 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:37.280 That was that cookie shop. By the way, we are 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:39.840 not sponsored by them. I'm not sponsored by them. I've 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:43.360 you know whatever. I'm yet to get a phone call. 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:49.160 But they are, apparently, tiff says, life changing. 0:01:49.400 --> 0:01:52.080 They are so life changing. And I'm happy to throw 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:54.240 business their way as long as that keeps them in 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.760 business right up the road from me. I'm happy to 0:01:56.800 --> 0:01:59.160 do it. I don't need any kickbacks. I don't even 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:00.960 need free cookies, you. 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:03.320 Don't need a discount. You're just happy to support local 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:06.880 business as long as they keep making that. What's your favorite. 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:08.560 Cookie, pistachio crunch. 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:12.120 That got chocolate or white chocolate or anything in it. 0:02:12.120 --> 0:02:14.520 It's got chocolate chips in it, It's got pisachio cream, 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:16.120 It's got this crispy stuff in the middle. 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:19.320 Oh my god, what kind of chocolate though, Bro? Is 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:22.880 it dark milk or white? Because white chocolate's not really chocolate, 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:23.680 it's just shit. 0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:25.280 Is milk chocolate? 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:26.919 Yeah? 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:28.639 Yeah, it breaks all the rules. 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:32.120 So Bobby's shake Bobby's shaking his head. What's your go to? 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:34.400 I know you don't eat junk food because you're a weapon, 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:37.000 you're a machine, you're an elite athlete. You fucking year 0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:39.840 the one percent of the one percent, Bobby, But on 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:42.600 your off days, what's your go to junk food or 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:43.280 sweet food? 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:47.760 Well, if I'm the one percent of the one percent, 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:49.400 I would hate to see what the other ninety nine 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:52.880 percent looks like. So for me, it would be a 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:59.280 really crunchy chocolate chip cookie. I was just thinking that 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:04.679 you are probably, no disrespect the worst person to ever 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:08.959 be a spokesperson for any cookie company at all, Like, no, 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:11.679 no cookie company would ever like sponsor you because you 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:14.519 don't even eat cookies, Like that whole comment about why, 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:18.600 Like when Tiff describes a cookie, I believe her, Like 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:20.880 I want to go eat, Like I want to rock 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:24.080 up to Ellwood right now and eat those cookies. You 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:26.760 not so much. You're not selling me on these cookies. Well, 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:30.519 it hasn't had a cookie in thirty years at least. 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:32.760 I fucking opened the cookie door on my own show, 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:34.960 and we're giving them. We haven't even said their name, 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:36.440 say their name, Tiff, Come on. 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:40.360 Hey there, cookie, Hey there, cookie, shout out hey there, cookie. 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:45.960 Danny l from Ossion, Yeah, yeah, yeah, But that's because 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:48.720 she's she's got an angle. You know, she's got an angle. 0:03:48.760 --> 0:03:50.960 She says, I don't want free cookies and then winks 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:52.640 at both of us while she's saying it. 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:57.480 But that's why she's the best spokesperson. She legitimately loves 0:03:57.520 --> 0:04:00.840 the cookies. It's her ulterior mode is how do I 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:03.800 get my hands on more cookies more of the time. 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:07.280 Who's not going to listen to a spokesperson like that 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:09.160 talking about their favorite cookie. 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:13.920 She would be a good brand ambassador for pretty much 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:17.120 anything she believed in, I think. But having said just 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:19.120 we'll get off cookies in a moment, because all of 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:21.520 our listeners are, like I thought you guys were in 0:04:21.520 --> 0:04:22.240 the health space. 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:23.839 This is fucking so unhealthy. 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:26.840 Yeah, but we've all got food issues. All of us 0:04:26.839 --> 0:04:29.680 have got food issues, So keep that in mind. I've 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:33.480 got fucking body dysmorphia and massive food issues and I 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:35.880 still hate myself. So keep all of that in mind 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:41.120 as you listen to this conversation. Judgie fucks, I love you, though, 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:44.680 prolease love me? What was I going to say? If 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:46.400 I am going to have a cookie, though, it needs 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:49.479 to be a big, fat, kind of moist cookie, not 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:52.000 a hard cookie like you were talking about, like a 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:54.919 crunch fuck crunchy cookies. It's got to be big and 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:58.640 a bit moist. And I know nobody likes the word moist. 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:00.560 I've ruined it. 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:02.080 It's a disgusting word. 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:04.039 It's just what is what is people's lost. 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:05.120 Temptations for cookies? 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:10.200 What is people's version? Why? What springs to mind when 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:15.720 you hear moist? All right? 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:18.000 Where stop it? Everyone's tuning out? 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:20.719 Well, what kind of what do you? How do you 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:25.400 ascribe that? Describe that state? Then that like, that's not 0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:28.120 what's not crunchy? What do we call it? 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:32.080 Just a soft, dewy cookie? Dewy cookie? 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:36.400 Okay, I can taste the cookie. Now she's talking about 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:39.359 Dobe like you are this this place needs to like 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:43.279 hire you. It's a very bad business decision not to 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:48.560 If I had a cook sharp, you'd behaved already, you know. 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:51.200 This conversation reminds me of a conversation I had with 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:53.839 somebody yesterday about things that are in your head that 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:55.800 should stay in your head and knock it outside of 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:59.520 your head, you know, thoughts. So I've been working on 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:01.440 this thing. I haven't finished it yet, but maybe you 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:03.760 guys can unpack it with me. Right, So, the idea 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:07.520 that there are so inside thoughts and outside thoughts. The 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:09.760 inside thoughts are the ones that should stay there in 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:12.640 your head. You think them, but you probably don't need 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:15.200 to open the door and then push them out. So 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:17.400 they go from being a thought in your head to 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:20.120 an experience for somebody else. Right, So it goes from 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:23.279 a thing in your head to something for somebody else. 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:27.400 I feel like a lot of people don't know when 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:31.159 to keep those inside thoughts in and they just you 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:35.360 know what I'm saying. It's like, what's the what's the 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:38.080 rule around that? How do I know when it's even 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:41.239 if it's something that I think is true or valid? 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:46.360 Either of you can answer this. What are the signs 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:49.479 that I should perhaps keep it in my head for 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:52.320 now or maybe never let it out? 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.919 Well, my parents when I was younger, tried very high 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:59.880 dosages of medication like Haldol and anything that I didn't 0:06:59.880 --> 0:07:03.000 say when I was on the how doll, it's probably 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:06.039 things that I shouldn't have been saying anyway, So what 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:06.360 is he? 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:08.160 What is heldal? 0:07:08.760 --> 0:07:12.119 Okay? Hal doll is that this is from my non 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.320 medical perspective, just you know someone who used it quite 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:19.760 a bit as a kid. It's an antisarchotic drug. So 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:22.679 if you are going to know your right arm off 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:26.480 or take hal doal, you're probably better off taking Haldal 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:30.160 Like Haldo's. It's a really severe drug. But when I 0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:32.920 was a kid and I first got diagnosed with tourettes, 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:36.080 they were like, we've got this new medication and you 0:07:36.080 --> 0:07:38.600 know we reckon. If it doesn't kill you, it might 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:41.760 actually help a bit. So my stuff father was like, yeah, 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:44.280 like put them on that. So I was on Haldol 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:45.040 for a few years. 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:48.200 I don't know how that answers my question, but it's 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:51.320 an interesting conversational path to go down anyway. 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:55.560 What so how I was just a kid that were medicating. 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:58.880 Well, I was talking about inside and outside questions and 0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:02.960 now you're talking about chewing off your arm, taking a medication, Like, 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:06.520 how does your fucking mind work? You need to get 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:08.320 back on hell doll straight away? 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:10.000 That work. That's why I was on the house doll 0:08:10.040 --> 0:08:14.080 because all that outside voice that I shouldn't be using 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:18.480 it was for tourettes, so it subdued me. So rather 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:21.560 than blurting things out, I just you know what. 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:25.280 Slapped in all seriousness? How old were you when you 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:27.720 went on that and how old were you when you 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:28.160 went off that? 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:31.720 I had to have gone on it around maybe nine 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:34.040 or ten ten years old, and I was on that 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:36.679 for like a few years, so maybe likewe thirteen. 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:40.720 How did you How did you feel? Did you feel numb? 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:42.679 Did you feel like? What did it do to you? 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:47.320 Other than maybe diminish some of your turet symptoms? 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:52.800 I felt like it diminished me, Like it suppressed every drive, 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:57.640 every aspect of my personality. I remember hating being on Haldal. 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:01.880 I would completely fuck about with my parents because they 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:05.120 were so animate about it. So I would stop taking 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:09.200 my medication for a few days, and when they would 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:11.760 ask me, because they would ask me, did you take 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:15.960 your medication? I would risk it. I would lie. The 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:18.600 penalty for getting caught and that was severe but I'm like, yeah, 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:22.040 I'm taking my medication and like, good, good, that's why 0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:25.160 you're a little bit more controllable now. And then I 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:27.840 would go back on my medication and when they would 0:09:27.920 --> 0:09:30.359 ask me are you taking meds? Like oh, I forgot 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.880 the past few days, they'd flip out, you're so out 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:36.680 of control. I can't deal with you, and I would 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:40.240 get punished. But I just wanted to see, like, Okay, 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:42.360 do they just want me on the meds or do 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:45.200 they really feel that's helping me? So yeah, they just 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:46.000 wanted me on the. 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:48.840 Meds, And so how and why did you come off? 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:50.440 Like what happened that you went off? 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:54.800 That I don't quite remember. I think it was something 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:59.840 where my doctor said that when I get home from school, 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:02.840 I really needed to lay down, like sleep for a 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:06.040 good hour because the medication was going to drain me. 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:09.960 I think at some point they were just like no, no, no, no, 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.760 nobody sleeps an hour in the afternoon in the middle 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:17.520 of the day. So I think they there was something 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.720 some argument. They were always fighting with my doctors. I 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:23.319 think that had something to do with it, although I 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:24.719 don't really remember. 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:27.120 But I went when were some other drugs as well, 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:29.760 I know that you kind of pushed back a little 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:32.400 bit and that you ended up finding your way through 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:36.360 various kind of paths, one of them being the gym 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:40.199 and training and David Barton and all these great people 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:45.040 you've told us about. When did you start to get hope? 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:48.400 Like I feel like in the middle of that there 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:50.319 would have been very little hope. There would have been 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:54.040 maybe correct me if I'm wrong, like an experience of helplessness. 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:56.800 When did you start to see a glimmer of light 0:10:57.160 --> 0:11:00.800 in the darkness and feel like, oh fuck, maybe maybe 0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:03.080 I could be more than this, or maybe this is 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:04.040 not my destiny. 0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:12.080 Well, I define hope very specifically, Like for me, it's 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:14.440 not like, oh wow, I'm gonna make it out of it. 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:20.120 I define hope. Or actually it was it was C. R. 0:11:20.200 --> 0:11:24.640 Snyder the psychologist as a meeting point between agency and 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:28.480 strategy and that or the way he said it will 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:33.320 power and wig power where working out. I felt, Wow, 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:37.720 I'm capable. I'm capable of learning stuff and executing it. 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:42.040 And I was able to make for a fifteen sixteen 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:46.280 year old kid, phenomenal changes in my body like everybody noticed. 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:49.960 So it didn't necessarily give me hope, like, Wow, in 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:52.559 the future, this is going to be better. I still 0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:55.000 had tourettes. I didn't know that I was going to 0:11:55.080 --> 0:11:59.760 have any reconstructive surgeries for my face. You know. I 0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:02.720 know at some point i'd leave home, but I didn't 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:04.480 know when that was going to be. And that's the 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:07.480 same maternity. But what really helped me is like, Okay, 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:11.640 I'm good at something, so I could focus on this thing, 0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:16.199 and through you know, exercising my volition as well as 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:20.440 my body, I can make positive experience like physical changes 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:25.240 that I could feel other people can see, and it's undeniable. 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:27.600 It's not like, oh, I think I'm getting better at something. 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:31.760 It's like, this is irrefutable. And that completely turned my 0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:35.960 whole world around because it gave me a platform and 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:39.000 a foundation to deal with all the other stuff that 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:42.160 I just didn't know how to deal with otherwise. So 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.440 working out was one of the best things that had 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:46.440 ever happened to me. 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.240 Yeah, and you think about, like, there's all the good 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:53.440 stuff that's happening to you, body building, strength and body awareness, 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:56.680 and you're creating new habits and behaviors, but you're also 0:12:56.720 --> 0:13:00.000 around other people who are supporting and encouraging and recognize, 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:04.679 and you're building trust and connection and friendship, and you're 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:08.119 learning about your mind and your body and your potential 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:12.240 and your capacity, and you're improving self awareness and you're 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:17.040 developing interpersonal skills and like it's a multitude of it 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.240 just happened to take place in a gym, you know 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:22.600 what I mean. It's like it was very similar for me, 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:25.960 you know, being the morbidly obese kid and getting in shape. 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:29.400 Getting in shape was great, but that was about twenty 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:32.720 percent of what made it actually great. The actual physical 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:35.720 change was really good, and I enjoyed not being the 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:38.720 fat kid anymore. I enjoyed being fit and strong and healthy, 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:42.120 But it was probably seventy or eighty percent about all 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.840 of the other stuff that came with that, the confidence 0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:49.600 and the positivity and the connection and the attention and 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:52.720 the validation and the approval and all of the shit 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:55.200 I didn't have and all the shit I wanted. And 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:59.680 they're kind of me starting to understand my own potential, 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:03.800 that my potential was vast, but going, oh, well, if 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:06.920 I can do this, what else can I do? Was there? 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:10.520 Did you? Was that for you? Similar? Like you started 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:14.600 to understand your own capacity to do stuff and to 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:18.880 you know, open your doors and create outcomes that nobody 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:20.000 encouraged you to do. 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:24.520 It was the beginning of it, because what started to happen. 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:28.720 I began to get noticed and talk about seeking validation. 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:33.400 I would walk around just like, wearing as little clothing 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:36.720 as I could possibly get away with. Once I started, 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:40.040 once my body started transforming, So I'm like, people were 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:43.200 starting to notice me. And it wasn't oh my god, 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:46.359 what happened to your face? Were you in an accident? 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:48.960 Like how did you get like that? Or it wasn't 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:50.800 like why do you do that with your face? Why 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:52.600 do you blink your eyes so much? Why do you 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:54.680 do that with your head? Why do you make those sounds? 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:57.720 It wasn't that, it was like wow, like how often 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:00.360 do you work out? What do you do? And I 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.920 was just like reading publications like muscle and fiction and 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:07.320 not really getting any valid science. But I didn't know 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:10.160 any better, so I would just share whatever I was learning, 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:15.360 and people wanted to talk to me because there was value. 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:18.760 I had something to offer, and I thought that was 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:24.560 really cool. And then my looks they weren't an advantage, 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:27.880 but they weren't a liability with certain people that were 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.600 part of the gym community because we were all a 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:34.600 bunch of mavericks. We were all highly dysfunctional. So the 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:38.000 fact that I was this very young kid working out 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:42.440 really hard getting good results, kind of weird deformed face, 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:45.120 and you know, I would twitch and yell and bark 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:51.560 spontaneously like I was kind of like this odd looking mascot. 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:56.480 So I started to build like genuine community and not 0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:58.480 receive as much judgment. 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:03.240 I've never asked you this question, but like I've only 0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:06.920 known you since obviously after that after you had your 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:11.200 facial surgeries, and so I've heard about it. Could you 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:14.680 I always try to picture what that what you looked like, 0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:17.880 not just more from a to try to get a 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:20.960 sense of what you dealt with. Can you explain, like 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:24.760 how many how many facial surgeries did you have? And 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:28.120 I don't know if this is an inappropriate question, I'm 0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:31.360 just genuinely curious and want to kind of understand what 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:32.440 that was like for you. 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:38.400 I had three major facial crane or reconstructive surgeries and 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:43.560 a touch up and a touch up kind of just 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:48.479 you know, just just just buffed out tea, yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:52.040 And what was the other part of the question. I 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:53.560 got lost with the facial surgery. 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.000 Yeah, the other part of the question was, can you 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:59.480 give us an insight into like if we had have 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:02.720 met you when when you were fifteen sixteen pre operations, 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:06.320 what would we have seen, Like, Okay, that was I 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:08.480 don't I mean, I don't know if that's I don't 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:10.639 even know if I'm just curious, like I want to 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:13.199 know what fifteen sixteen year old because I've been like 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:15.800 to me, and I'm not pissing in your pocket, you're 0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:20.320 a normal looking, relatively good looking, fifty ish year old dude. 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:22.919 Like to me, I've only ever known you as the 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:26.199 good looking American dude who's in good shape. Like since 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:30.560 since we've been friends, you've always been, you know, like 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:33.560 better looking than me and probably better built than me. 0:17:34.040 --> 0:17:38.000 For me to get my head around what you looked like, yeah, 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:39.359 it's it's hard. 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:46.880 My nose was was a bit sideways, right, Like one 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:51.280 nostril was much lower than the other, so my nose 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:54.639 had a little bit of a vertical orientation to it. 0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:58.960 One of my lips were pulled all the way up 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:02.800 and it wasn't it wasn't a it wasn't a cleft 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:06.840 lip where the lip was actually separated. It was just 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:12.000 something else happened during pregnancy. Never got a really straight 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:16.440 answer as to what it was. But my lip was 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:20.359 kind of pulled up so it was so like I 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:23.040 would smile, it would expose a lot of my teeth, 0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:31.680 and my skeletal structure underneath the skin was quite different 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:36.280 around the palette as well, So because of that bone structure, 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:40.280 my teeth were kind of terrifying. So you had like, 0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:43.560 you know, you had teeth going every which direction. I 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:46.119 had extra teeth growing out on the left side of 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:49.720 my mouth. Most of the deformities were concentrated on the 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:52.520 left side, so yeah, you would see extra teeth in 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:56.200 my mouth. My teeth were extremely crooked, kind of looked 0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:58.399 like a shark that got into a few too many fights, 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:03.000 have not an even lip. One end of my lip 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:05.520 was pulled up higher than the other and the left 0:19:05.520 --> 0:19:08.560 side of my nose was down. And you know, it 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:12.560 wasn't like my nostrils were snacked stacked, but kind of 0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:15.560 had a little bit of an oblo orientation to him. 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:16.760 Yeah. 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:20.200 Yeah, and I had severe cross eights, so if I 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:23.920 didn't have glasses on and I actually think I corrected 0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:26.800 my cross eyed in this by not wearing my glasses 0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:29.800 weirdly enough, Again, just like the howld all, that's not 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:32.800 my medical opinion, that's just what happened with me. It 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:35.080 corrected itself. But when I didn't have my glasses, my 0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:39.359 eyes would just meet right in the middle. So, yeah, 0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:43.000 I was an interesting looking kid, not the most attractive 0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:43.560 in my school. 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:46.280 Yeah, welcome to the club. Do you ever feel like 0:19:46.320 --> 0:19:49.560 you were looking through or do you ever feel now 0:19:49.640 --> 0:19:53.199 like you're looking at the world through the window of 0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:57.919 that kid, like when you just have a Obviously, you 0:19:57.920 --> 0:19:59.840 know you're not that kid anymore. You know that you 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:02.720 or you know you're thirty years down the track things 0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:05.240 are different. But do you ever feel like that kid anymore? 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:08.560 Do you ever have that kid's got to be there? Yeah? 0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:11.600 Like, I don't know how familiar you are with integrated 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:14.399 family Systems and the work of Dick Schwartz, but you 0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:19.439 know you have these interjects, these personalities, you know, some 0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:22.359 of them are managers, and they just try to keep you, 0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:25.520 you know, safe, yeah, and protect you, and then you 0:20:25.600 --> 0:20:29.720 have your firefighters when something goes wrong and the managers 0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:33.399 are unsuccessful, like, and that is the reactive aspects of 0:20:33.440 --> 0:20:37.600 your personality. So you've got a lot of different personalities 0:20:37.640 --> 0:20:42.160 that make up what you consider the you yourself. And 0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:45.920 I know that kid is in there somewhere. He comes 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:46.600 out quite a bit. 0:20:47.560 --> 0:20:53.480 When did you realize that you were I mean, I 0:20:53.480 --> 0:20:55.280 don't know if you have an identic memory, but you 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:58.160 definitely have a ridiculous memory like you have of older 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:00.600 people on now. I know a lot of really intelligent people. 0:21:01.080 --> 0:21:05.720 I know lots of smart, successful, brilliant people. I would 0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:08.960 say in terms of just recall of data and quotes 0:21:09.000 --> 0:21:12.040 and books and research, you're at the top of that list. 0:21:12.359 --> 0:21:15.000 When did you figure that out? When did you figure out? 0:21:15.880 --> 0:21:19.000 And I know you're self deprecating, but when did you 0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:21.639 figure out that you could read something and remember it 0:21:22.359 --> 0:21:24.920 and basically it's just there for you to just pull 0:21:24.920 --> 0:21:27.080 off a mental shelf whenever you want. When did you 0:21:27.119 --> 0:21:27.679 discover that? 0:21:28.960 --> 0:21:32.160 I don't think I discovered it, and you know I don't. 0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:38.000 I don't think my memory is that good. I just 0:21:38.080 --> 0:21:42.360 think here's what happened my boss, Mitchell, which I talk 0:21:42.400 --> 0:21:46.439 about a lot. At Gold's gym. I had gotten in 0:21:46.480 --> 0:21:50.120 trouble in the gym, not like a lot of trouble, 0:21:50.640 --> 0:21:53.360 just just a funny little thing where you know, when 0:21:53.400 --> 0:21:57.960 I first started working there, I thought that, God, I'm 0:21:57.960 --> 0:22:00.880