1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:05,600 Speaker 1: This is the city and with kate ki podcast, I'll 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,440 Speaker 1: tell you what it feels a bit warmer and cozier 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 1: in the studio. I know I'm comforted because brand new 4 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 1: episode season two of Maggie Dan's podcast, The Good Enough 5 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,760 Speaker 1: Dad is out now, Episode one with Larry and I 6 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:18,119 Speaker 1: love that. 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 2: Maggie Dent welcome and guys. 8 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,960 Speaker 3: In Sydney, mug She's just the best. 9 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 4: Can I kick this off? I was listening to a 10 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,480 Speaker 4: podcast the other day. There was a guy, Maggie by 11 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 4: the name, and it's the environment that kids have around 12 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 4: at home. 13 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 2: And do you know what? 14 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 4: We're talking about kids all the time with you, But 15 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 4: there's different parenting styles that I've never really thought about before. 16 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 4: This guy's called Elane de Botton is his name. He 17 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 4: has a master's in philosophy, and he was talking about 18 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 4: environments at home. But have a listen to this. 19 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,239 Speaker 5: Children come into the world and all of us are 20 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 5: honed by nature to figure out what do I need 21 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 5: to do here to survive? In some families you need 22 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 5: to excel academically. In some family you need to fail academically. 23 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 5: In some families, you need to be very witty. In 24 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 5: some families you need to be invisible. 25 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:05,960 Speaker 6: Why would you fail? 26 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 2: In some families? 27 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 5: Oh well, the classic one is parental envy. Some parents 28 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 5: are hugely envious of their own children and it cannot 29 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 5: bear that their child, who they've put on the earth 30 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 5: should be happier than they've managed to be. 31 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 4: This blew me away. Have you seen cases of this, 32 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:24,839 Speaker 4: this parental envy? 33 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 7: Oh, look, I have to say that that that can 34 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 7: be a thing. And when I've worked with teenagers over 35 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 7: the years, sometimes the pressure from their parents for their 36 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 7: academic grades is so like debilitating because they know if 37 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 7: they don't get that A, the A plus when they 38 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 7: go home, they just you know that you're not loved 39 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 7: right there, You let everyone down. Parental disappointment is it's 40 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 7: like a knife in their heart. And yet sometimes parents, 41 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 7: I'm in a where they're doing it. They're thinking, I'm 42 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 7: encouraging you, and I'm giving you that motivation and I'm 43 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 7: telling you to aim high. But sometimes it doesn't land 44 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 7: that way with a kid. And it another really difficult 45 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 7: one is and you know, because we're don't talk about dads, 46 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 7: the dad that's into rugby and into sport and into 47 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,800 Speaker 7: watching wrestling, and then he has a boy he likes music, 48 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 7: he can also struggle in that space because he's just 49 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 7: not in the you know, I feel like I let 50 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 7: my dad doubt and I've actually shared so many stories 51 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 7: with boys around that that I'm a failure for my dad. 52 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 2: Right. 53 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 4: It's a tough one because you know that this is 54 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,800 Speaker 4: the other one. And we've spoken about this so many times, 55 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 4: Maggie about well, it's just you know, like my son, 56 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,799 Speaker 4: he loves football, but he also loves his video games. 57 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 4: We talk about video games with you all the time 58 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 4: and how much time he actually gets on there. But 59 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 4: I actually see the joy in his face, Maggie when 60 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 4: he plays it. And now we had a no video 61 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 4: game policy at home. That's completely changed now because I 62 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 4: can see the joy that he gets out when he's 63 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,360 Speaker 4: on there with his mates. It's just a matter of 64 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,079 Speaker 4: pulling it back. But I just said to my wife, 65 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,519 Speaker 4: we can't deny this because he loves it so much. 66 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 7: So one of the things we know about boys particularly 67 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 7: is they're hunting dopamine. Right, They're hunting that really good 68 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,239 Speaker 7: neurochemical makes you feel freaking amazing. 69 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 6: Right. Well, they don't all of. 70 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 7: Them get it at school, because quite often I've got 71 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 7: to sit longer than they want to and the stuff's 72 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 7: boring and they don't think it's going to be Trust me, 73 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 7: I taught ear nine boys who really thought writing an 74 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 7: essay was a waste of time because I'm going to play. 75 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 6: Football for Australia. 76 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 7: But what happens when they're video gaming, it's instant instance 77 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 7: shots of dopamine when they're doing it their mates. The 78 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 7: second thing that teenage particularly want and boys want is 79 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 7: connection with friends. And so you're filling the connection cup, 80 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 7: you're filling this competence company am I getting better and better? 81 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 7: And you're filling the fun cup And so it's not 82 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 7: a bad thing at all. 83 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 6: But what we've got to make sure is they're not 84 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 6: doing it all night. 85 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 7: And then also that their language doesn't escalate, because that's 86 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 7: one of the things parents say. Sometimes they hear this 87 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 7: horrible language coming out of their rooms and. 88 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 6: Going that's not my son. 89 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 7: But when we pull them back up on that, saying, 90 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 7: if you want to keep playing, you know, then that 91 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 7: sort of language has got to stop. 92 00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 6: So once again. 93 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 7: It's it's not all harmful, but we've got to make 94 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 7: sure we've got boundaries around it. 95 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: Can I ask Maggie back to the point you made 96 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: fits And I think this is one thing as a 97 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: parent I'm trying to work out quite often with my kids. 98 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:14,840 Speaker 2: Where's the line of me being a. 99 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: Constructive dad in supporting a child and encouraging them to 100 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:25,599 Speaker 1: do something, and then me forcing them past the point 101 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,159 Speaker 1: where they're not interested? So how do I know when 102 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,919 Speaker 1: I go from hey, you're going to play this sport 103 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 1: and you're going to do that, to do you know what, 104 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,839 Speaker 1: maybe that kid doesn't want. 105 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,799 Speaker 2: To do that sport? Where do you stop? 106 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,039 Speaker 7: Oh? Look, that's one of the biggest parenting dilemmas, isn't 107 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 7: it that we and I'll keep on saying to parents 108 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 7: when your kid comes home and wants to sign up 109 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,840 Speaker 7: for you know, soccer or netbook as all their friends are, 110 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 7: and then week three they don't want to go again. 111 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 6: My house with tayepwad do uniforms foot. 112 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:02,479 Speaker 3: Straight off to say that marketplace, same sort of thing, like, 113 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 3: we do want to encourage them to stretch and grow, 114 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 3: and sometimes they want to go because their friends are 115 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 3: doing it, but we really do need to know that 116 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 3: sometimes too much. 117 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 7: And I think we're over scheduling today's children, no question, 118 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 7: we've got far too much on and then they're exhausted 119 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 7: and tired, and then we wonder where they get grumpy. 120 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 1: The podcast The Good Enough Dad, I love this, Maggie, 121 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,559 Speaker 1: because you do talk to all sorts of different dads, 122 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 1: and one of the great parts of this podcast is 123 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,600 Speaker 1: when you ask about fails. 124 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:31,839 Speaker 6: Dad fails so beautiful. 125 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,039 Speaker 7: Because we wanted to normalize that there's no perfect in 126 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 7: parenting or stuffing. Dads can often take these things really 127 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 7: really personally, like I've mucked up, and then they want 128 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 7: to you know, they really want to beat themselves up 129 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,279 Speaker 7: because you've got to look at them. Boys, and men's 130 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 7: worth often comes from what I do good, and I 131 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 7: give myself self worth. So when I've mucked up, I 132 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 7: feel really really bad when. 133 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 2: You share the guys about because this is a beauty. 134 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 7: And I just kind of had guy up there as 135 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,599 Speaker 7: you know, this amazing human and he just opened up 136 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 7: so beautifully when I asked for the had finally burst 137 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 7: out laughing, said I've got a really good one. 138 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 6: Make it probably is the best of two seasons. 139 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 7: So we know he's got a place down in Girola, 140 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 7: which is not far from me, and he's got a 141 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 7: tinny down there. 142 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 6: So quite often they go out and get some squid. 143 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 7: Easter weekend picture it and Archie, his youngest son's, are 144 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 7: at the front of the boat and he said on 145 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 7: you know, getting going out and his people everywhere, of course, 146 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 7: and he said, and as I went to jump in, 147 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 7: I've actually knocked the tiller on the boat and I've 148 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 7: ended in the water and the boat's taken off doing 149 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 7: loops right, And of course his son's screaming out Dad, 150 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 7: and he said, don't jump, don't jump, because he's worried 151 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,280 Speaker 7: about the propeller. And each time the boat came run 152 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 7: he had to duck so he didn't get his bits 153 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 7: cut off. 154 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 6: And then he says, eventually I've worked out which way 155 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 6: it's going. 156 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 7: I've got har you to jump off, got him to shore, 157 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 7: and then I'm out there trying all these attempts to 158 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:45,040 Speaker 7: get it. 159 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,360 Speaker 6: Eventually gets in the boat and quietly brings it back. 160 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 7: And I just thought, he said, his son keeps saying, no, Dad, not, 161 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 7: don want to go get this squid. 162 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 6: I've scarred for life of that. 163 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 7: But don't you think it's just a beautiful modus accident 164 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 7: to a moment that you thought was going to be 165 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 7: a treasured memory that were absolute, but often the fails 166 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 7: are the treasured memories. Just hearing you speak there, I'm like, 167 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 7: oh god, I remember my dad took it upon himself 168 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 7: to treat me to a haircut, and what ensued just 169 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 7: they's gone down in family folklore. I went into the 170 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 7: salon as an average ten year old, and I came 171 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 7: out looking like the queen on a coin. 172 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:34,120 Speaker 8: I have this like a playdough old lady head. And 173 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 8: I'm sure that he beat himself up over that, but 174 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 8: you know, that's become one of our greatest hysterical memories together. 175 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 7: Yeah, I have a pretty big one that only farm 176 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 7: kids would have. So when a sheep's fly blow and 177 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 7: you use these clippers to cut it off, and then 178 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 7: you spray and with stuff that kills all the maggots 179 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 7: and everything. And I'm holding the sheep for dad right 180 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 7: with my wellies on, and as he's cutting, all these 181 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 7: maggots are going into my boot. 182 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 6: And I'm sitting there thinking, oh, right, in a. 183 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,680 Speaker 7: Moment, I got a walk and it was some one 184 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 7: of those moments what would my dad want me to do? 185 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 7: And I've just thought I can do this and just 186 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 7: walked off and just squashal the maggot. 187 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 6: And I told my dad later and he just gave 188 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,680 Speaker 6: me a big wink. That's my girl. 189 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 4: Why have you not had the nickname maggot? 190 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 9: Dent? 191 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 7: And I also wrote a poem once called Maggots and 192 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 7: the new teacher nearly fainted because she was a city. 193 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 6: Girl and she really didn't get the. 194 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 2: Maggot the boots by Maggie. 195 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 8: Can you remember any of the of the stanzas from Maggots? 196 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 2: That is Allison from a grass Sill? 197 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 6: Hello Allison, Hi guys, how are you, Maggie? 198 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:42,559 Speaker 2: I'm live with Maggie. What is your question? 199 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 10: My question is is probably a little bit of a 200 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 10: long winded one, but my daughter seems to second guess 201 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:54,240 Speaker 10: herself in tasks that she's more than capable of doing. So, 202 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 10: for example, we do little athletics. She's a good runner, 203 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 10: did really well last season. It was her first seat them, 204 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 10: and so when it comes to long distance straight away, 205 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 10: she's like, I can't do it. She starts getting a stitch, 206 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 10: all that sort of stuff. 207 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 11: You know. 208 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 10: We do the positive reinforcement, and it's the same thing 209 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 10: like her academics, like particularly mass she starts sort of 210 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:20,199 Speaker 10: stressing out and sort of getting upset with herself before 211 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 10: she's even attempted. 212 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 7: What do you do, mane, Now it's really really common, remember, 213 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 7: really really common. So one of the things I'm going 214 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,319 Speaker 7: to say might sound a bit weir. We'rein a bit weird. 215 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 7: But what I want you to do, because I've worked 216 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 7: in this space for years as a counselor, is I 217 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,719 Speaker 7: want her the last thing she does at night. 218 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 6: In the first thing is morning. 219 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 7: In the morning, she's going to visualize herself nailing it, 220 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,559 Speaker 7: like getting those test results. She's going to see herself 221 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 7: running like the wind. The more times she does that vividly, 222 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 7: the brain thinks she's already done it, so it tends 223 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 7: to move. 224 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 6: The doubt and the self doubt away. 225 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,560 Speaker 7: And there's a visualization on my website called Accepting Myself, 226 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 7: which is a neurolinguistic programming technique where they see a 227 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 7: big white screen and they watch themselves common infinite because 228 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 7: they run a video in their head and we need 229 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 7: to turn that video off, and the sooner we turn 230 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 7: it off. So I use it with all my classrooms 231 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 7: when I was still teaching it and am my gosh, 232 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 7: you should have seen the difference in the grade. 233 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 6: So I love that there. 234 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 7: You can't talk them out of a mindset or a 235 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 7: belief or a pattern, but we've going to. 236 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,199 Speaker 6: Change the video in the mind. 237 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 8: And I think that comes from cause I've got three 238 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,839 Speaker 8: kids as well, ranging from sixteen to twelve, and I 239 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,640 Speaker 8: have seen that exact thing happening. 240 00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 6: Oh I can't, I can't do it. 241 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,439 Speaker 8: And I think there's so much pressure to be the 242 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 8: best at everything. And I just say to my kids 243 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 8: that really, it is about the journey, It's about having 244 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 8: a crack. It's excitement about every the best. I don't 245 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 8: expect you to be the best. I'm not the best 246 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 8: at anything. Nobody and I knows the best at anything, 247 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 8: but gosh, it's fun to have a go. 248 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:48,199 Speaker 6: Celebrate effort. 249 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,719 Speaker 7: Always celebrate effort, Get up and have a go, even 250 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 7: if we've got no chance of winning. 251 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 6: They're the messages just quickly, Maggie. 252 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 4: Girls and boys difference. 253 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 6: At what age should they start? 254 00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 12: No? 255 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 2: No, but what mental resilience? 256 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 4: At what age do they start getting a bit of 257 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 4: mental resilience? They and they start pushing back. 258 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,680 Speaker 7: Look, they can they can develop that at any point 259 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 7: in their whole life. Journey, because what resilience really is 260 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 7: is that I can come across things that challenge me, 261 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 7: or that are adversity or difficulty, and I have an 262 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 7: ability to push through because I've experienced it. This is 263 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 7: one of the reasons I keep saying your kids are 264 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,559 Speaker 7: supposed to fall out of trees. They're supposed to fall over, 265 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 7: They're supposed to not to get one prize in past 266 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 7: the parcel because we're wanting them to get used to 267 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 7: moments that are difficult so that we can go through it. 268 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 7: So the more times they deal with those, the soon 269 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 7: that that happens, regardless of gender. Gotcha, And that's a 270 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 7: really important message for us not to keep rescuing our kids. 271 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 2: So true, Melion Blackson. Your question for Maggie dent Hi. 272 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,559 Speaker 13: I have a question regarding taking my children to the shot. 273 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 13: I have a three year old who always ends up 274 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 13: wanting a lolly and if I say no, he then 275 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 13: has a complete melt down. My question is do I 276 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,320 Speaker 13: just cave in and just buy one each time? Do 277 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 13: I deal with it there at the shops and talk 278 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,199 Speaker 13: to him about it, or do I just take him 279 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 13: home or have that discussion with him? 280 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,560 Speaker 6: Laid off all right, So of course he wants a lolly. 281 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 6: What who doesn't. 282 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:12,199 Speaker 7: I'd still like one too if I went and I'm seventy. 283 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 7: What I got to suggest to you is that before 284 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 7: you get out of the car, you're you're going to 285 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 7: have a little chat to him and say when we 286 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 7: there's only these days of the week. 287 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 6: And of course he's not going to know those days, 288 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 6: is he? 289 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 7: But Monday, Wednesday, Friday, if you know we've not been 290 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 7: really awful to my mum and drawn lipstick on the 291 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 7: wall and things, there will be a lolly treat when 292 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,079 Speaker 7: I go shopping. 293 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 3: Right. 294 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 6: And then you pull up in the car park and 295 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 6: you go, what day is it? 296 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,680 Speaker 7: Today is this day? So it is a treat day. 297 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 7: Today is Tuesday, no treat day. So we go okay 298 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 7: with that, not today. But if we have a tantrum 299 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 7: about today. 300 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 6: Then there won't be one tomorrow. 301 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 7: And it might sound really but they learn, okay, so 302 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,760 Speaker 7: you're not banning forever, because if you're banned forever, I'm 303 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 7: going to get upset too because I like my chocolate. 304 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 7: But so we actually setting him up to now know 305 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 7: to be able to predict what are the days that 306 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 7: he can look forward to going to you. Plus the 307 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 7: other thing is, yeah, leave him with someone else. We 308 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,719 Speaker 7: go shopping. 309 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:08,080 Speaker 6: Super bugged for years. 310 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 1: Yes, Scott in Scofielder question for Maggie Dent. 311 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,199 Speaker 14: Here you're going good. 312 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,840 Speaker 15: One question is my nine year old boy. He's quite 313 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 15: nervous and shy, even like round strangers, but even with 314 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 15: people that we do. We'll be out of sporting events 315 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 15: and things like that and talk to him your boys 316 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 15: eye contacts and I just want to know what's the 317 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 15: best way to support him. Well, how do I get 318 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 15: you about it? 319 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 14: Shelf? 320 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 6: Well, it sounds like he's a lamb. 321 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 7: So lambs are less brave, and you know they've turned 322 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 7: up less brave, less fear less. But I'm going to 323 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 7: give you a couple of things that really can help 324 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,080 Speaker 7: in that space. Is your practice at home, so your 325 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 7: roleplay situations with him like he's a stranger and put 326 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 7: on some weird o face mask or something and say 327 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 7: so mate, how are you going? 328 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 6: You know, and you actually practice the things. 329 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,719 Speaker 7: It's a bit like what I said before about the 330 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,199 Speaker 7: video and the head to build his confidence at being 331 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 7: you practice like heck, so you can you know all 332 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 7: everyone and the house can play and bottom line he 333 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 7: becomes an adult sometimes and you're the child and you 334 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 7: can mimic how he might be a bit reluctant. But 335 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 7: we also so there's another strategy ill used with a 336 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 7: lot of shy children early on, and they had to 337 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 7: have had to pick out some undies that were their 338 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:19,280 Speaker 7: brave undies, so bright red, bright yellow, whatever, And so 339 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 7: there were days when they were going to be going 340 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 7: out that potentially they might meet people they're not so 341 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 7: sure at they had to wear their brave undies or 342 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 7: their fun undies, whatever you want to call it, because 343 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 7: it sort of makes them feel a little braver on 344 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 7: the inside and it's a bit of fun. But what 345 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 7: I do want to say is don't ever force him 346 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 7: like because when we force a child who's a little 347 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 7: bit shy and anxious, that we set them up. 348 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 6: For a whole lifetime full of dread. 349 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 7: So we've got to make sure we allow them to 350 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 7: be yes, stay with me until you're safe. It's quite 351 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,320 Speaker 7: often in circle of security, it's a brilliant parenting program. 352 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 7: Our kids want to stay close to the safest person 353 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 7: and venture a little bit and then come back, and 354 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 7: then you're gratually helping him go a little bit further 355 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 7: each time, so that he will gradually develop that capacity later. 356 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 6: And Maggie, would you agree with me. 357 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 8: Here because I've got a couple of shy kids and 358 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 8: I sort of and I'm not shy. And I sort 359 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 8: of realized early on when I got this shy child 360 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 8: out of nowhere that me trying to encourage them. I 361 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 8: feel like I was coming from a good place because 362 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,000 Speaker 8: you know, interacting with human beings is the greatest joy 363 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 8: in my life, and I wanted them to have that too. 364 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 8: When I realized that me talking about it kind of 365 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 8: got lost in translation. I was saying, this is a 366 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 8: great way to be Try this, try that. But what 367 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 8: they're hearing is you're not good enough the way you are. 368 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 6: You're actually failing as you are. You're dead right. Yeah, 369 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,000 Speaker 6: I know, best intentions in the world. Welcome to the 370 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 6: tricky part of parenting. 371 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 8: Yes, So now I just say, you're either a shy 372 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 8: person or you're going through a shy Let's see. 373 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 6: Where it goes. 374 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's perfectly normal. 375 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 6: Celebrate those ones. Celebrate the lambs and the roosters. 376 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's take one more call Leah and Harring to 377 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 1: park your question for Maggie dent LEA. 378 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 11: Oh, good morning, Maggie. Thanks. I just wanted to know. 379 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 11: I've got a fifteen year old son and I've been 380 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 11: a fan of yours for oh well, since he was 381 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 11: conceived to be honest him and he's not a fan 382 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 11: of showering. He gets hygiene. 383 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, okay, so this is really really copy. 384 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 14: Now. 385 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 7: The weirdest thing about our tweeny and teen boys is 386 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 7: I actually don't realize they smell. Oh I'm in a 387 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 7: classroom full of them, right and I'm nearly passing out, 388 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 7: and not one of them notices that there's this body 389 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 7: odor in the room. They don't smell it. So they 390 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,600 Speaker 7: want to say, look, why should I bother because A 391 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,680 Speaker 7: I don't smell and there's no skin on my jocks, Like, 392 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 7: what's the point of saving water? 393 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 6: Okay, So I don't know if you can try this one. 394 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,720 Speaker 7: I did it with my four year olds some because 395 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 7: he was decided he didn't want to shower bath anymore. 396 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,880 Speaker 7: So I I tried the incentivizing. You know, of course 397 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,640 Speaker 7: it's not going to work with a fifteen year old boy. 398 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,399 Speaker 7: But when I said to him at one point, I 399 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 7: sat with him and said, you know, mate, mummy doesn't 400 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,560 Speaker 7: have a penis. But you know, if I didn't, I 401 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 7: didn't wash it, I reckon, I go moldy and fall off. 402 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,359 Speaker 7: He was in the shower like a flash. At the 403 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 7: end of the day, I'd probably come with you know 404 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 7: that sort of thing that if you don't look after 405 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 7: your peters, it'll fall off, get a bit rotten and 406 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 7: still still Yeah, the more you nag, the less it's 407 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:32,679 Speaker 7: going to shower. 408 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:37,159 Speaker 1: Worked for you, hasn't it made thank you? 409 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 4: Mate? On that on that have to wash it. 410 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 6: I've got a sixteen year old. 411 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:48,400 Speaker 8: Is there a nice way to say you're a bit 412 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 8: on the nose? Because it's a it's an insulting thing. 413 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 8: If anybody said to me you stin, I so offended, 414 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,160 Speaker 8: all right, so let me have it sort of chip. 415 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,560 Speaker 7: It's such a crazy thing because of I had house 416 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,399 Speaker 7: fuls of boys. They all bought their mates and ate 417 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 7: me out of house and home. But you know what, 418 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 7: the mother of one of your son's mates is the 419 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,959 Speaker 7: person who drops the truth bomb. Because while they're in 420 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 7: my house there was a boy, Oh my god, and 421 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,960 Speaker 7: I said, mate, I'm going to take your home so 422 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 7: and I can't have. 423 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,160 Speaker 6: That really off. 424 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,439 Speaker 7: Do you want to go up and put some andy 425 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,680 Speaker 7: bo on a? Yeah, no worries. His mom's been trying 426 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,200 Speaker 7: to nag the hell out of him because he really 427 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,160 Speaker 7: likes coming to my house. 428 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 6: I'm not his mother. Yeah, and he knows I like him. 429 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 6: He goes up, but you know what he did that? 430 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 7: But when I came back later, he sprayed the whole 431 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 7: mirror with and the deodorant. 432 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,960 Speaker 6: All over the mirror. Because you thought that was funny too. 433 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,680 Speaker 6: Oh love him in your home anymore? 434 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 14: He was? 435 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:46,159 Speaker 6: He definitely was. 436 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 2: Oh that is sensational. Thank you for happiness. 437 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,360 Speaker 4: Her brand new podcast, The Good Enough Dad, it's out now. 438 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 4: Like you said, Larry Him is the first episode. Your 439 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 4: guy Sebastian Cameron Dadda. We love Cameron Dada. You've also 440 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 4: got all veterans to professional surfers. 441 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 2: The podcast is out now. 442 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,840 Speaker 7: You have to hear about the bit about surfers. My 443 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 7: boys were going to sack me as their mother. They're 444 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,160 Speaker 7: all surfers because I didn't have any surfers or AFL footballers. 445 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 6: No, don't just go cut me out. Don't going to 446 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 6: cut me right out. So I've nailed it. I'm allowed 447 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 6: to stay their mother. 448 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,119 Speaker 4: I love you, Maggie, thank you very much for coming in. 449 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 8: This is the Fitzi and Whipper with Cape Ritchie Podcast. 450 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:28,880 Speaker 2: Can we talk about Kings of Lewn. 451 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 4: I love Kings of Lund great band. 452 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 2: You've just shown me a photo of them. 453 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 4: Too, Okay, I'm sure. So this is so they formed 454 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,520 Speaker 4: early two thousands. Whip that's them, that's the Followers. So 455 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,160 Speaker 4: there's three brothers, the follow Wheel brothers, and that's their 456 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:43,640 Speaker 4: their cousins. 457 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:47,160 Speaker 2: There as well, right, okay, Jared or. 458 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 4: Is it Nathan? I don't know. Anyway, there's a cousin 459 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,400 Speaker 4: in there. They're all family. That's when they first started. 460 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:57,120 Speaker 4: I mean they were heart throbs rock and roll around 461 00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:58,720 Speaker 4: the time of the Strokes. 462 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 2: I mean they were part hard Mate. 463 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,400 Speaker 4: I mean the lead singer, the lead singer, Caleb, he's 464 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:06,680 Speaker 4: married to a supermodel Lily Audrey. 465 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's been a life of rock. 466 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 4: And roll and amazing. If you've ever seen Kings of 467 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,919 Speaker 4: Leon live, they are a great live man. You know 468 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 4: what good looking guys, rock stars. How things have changed. Caleb, 469 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,399 Speaker 4: the lead singer, brought out a video yesterday. They're just 470 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:28,120 Speaker 4: about to start a huge UK and European tour, and 471 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 4: this is what's happened now to Kings of. 472 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:35,280 Speaker 12: Le Hello to everyone out there, especially our European fans 473 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 12: that are preparing to come see us this summer. Unfortunately, 474 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 12: I regret to inform you that those shows will have 475 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 12: to be canceled due to a freak accident that happened 476 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:52,879 Speaker 12: the other day. Broke my foot pretty bad playing with 477 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:53,399 Speaker 12: my kids. 478 00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:56,000 Speaker 2: It's pretty gnarly. 479 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,679 Speaker 12: I'll spare all the details, but we're fortunate enough to 480 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:04,720 Speaker 12: have Greek doctors here in Nashville that gave me emergency surgery. 481 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 1: Now, Dave Growl broke his leg on stage, yes, and 482 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,879 Speaker 1: then performance he said, someone grabbed me a seat, I 483 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,240 Speaker 1: can't walk and finished the set. Now look at this 484 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: Pansy telling me he's playing in the backyard, probably on 485 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 1: the trampolone. 486 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,000 Speaker 4: Axel Rose did it, was on a seat for a while, 487 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 4: as Zach de la Roche did it as well. 488 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 2: From rage against the machine. 489 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 4: He broke his leg and he kept he just kept 490 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 4: performing in a seat. 491 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 2: What's happened to the real rock star? 492 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,719 Speaker 1: I mean, we remember the time we had that interview, 493 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: and this is when I realized people changed fits. You 494 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,920 Speaker 1: and I caught up with Robbie Williams at the Four 495 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 1: Seasons here in Sydney and we're. 496 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 2: Talking to him. 497 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,600 Speaker 1: Well, to take you back to the great Robbie Williams days, 498 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: there was a guy that we know, remember Ian, the 499 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 1: security guard ian, was in santra Pe and his job 500 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,320 Speaker 1: was to make sure that Robbie didn't get out of 501 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,200 Speaker 1: the compound in the house where he was staying. Robbie 502 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,000 Speaker 1: pinched the keys to the moped and took off and 503 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,919 Speaker 1: went missing for four days and then went into rehab 504 00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 1: for two weeks. 505 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,440 Speaker 2: Now, that was Robbis. 506 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,919 Speaker 1: And then during the interview cut to us at the 507 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 1: Four Seasons, he realizes it's a Tuesday and he says, oh, 508 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,320 Speaker 1: that's great, I'm allowed to have some sugar today. 509 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 2: We went, oh my god. 510 00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:13,680 Speaker 1: Back in the day, Robbie, you would have thrown anything 511 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 1: you could into the system to get a high, and 512 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,440 Speaker 1: now you're excited that on a Tuesday you're allowed. 513 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 2: A piece of chocolate. What's happened to rock stars in 514 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,800 Speaker 2: twenty twenty five? Well, it is I mean, it is hard. 515 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:29,200 Speaker 4: You get older, and that's the thing kids ruin your lives. 516 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,120 Speaker 4: And that's what I want to focus on today. When 517 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 4: did the kids injure you, and it's usually trying to 518 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,439 Speaker 4: save the kids or do something, or you're playing with 519 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 4: the kids. It could be something minor at a playground. 520 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 4: I remember we used to have a water slide park 521 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 4: called Magic Mountain where we grew up with. 522 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 2: And it was it was quite steep. It was really radical. 523 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 4: And I used to go down with Dad and Dad 524 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 4: was Dad used to weigh a bit. Dad was up 525 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 4: around about one hundred kilos when when he was at 526 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 4: his peak football career, and I remember Dad used to 527 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 4: hold you know, we used to go down with your 528 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 4: dad when we were still young one or you'd be 529 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 4: yeah in between his legs. 530 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:10,600 Speaker 2: Yep. 531 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 4: I remember he had a big final coming up that 532 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,119 Speaker 4: weekend and I just wanted him to go faster and faster, 533 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,440 Speaker 4: and we went down this steep bit we came. As 534 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 4: we went down the bottom and turned around the corner, 535 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,760 Speaker 4: Dad got airborne. Not just injured me because he went 536 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 4: up landed on me. He landed on his shoulder and 537 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,560 Speaker 4: popped his shoulder, so. 538 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 1: You've been crushed his shoulders out. 539 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 4: He couldn't play that week, and there was that moment 540 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 4: of oh no, oh, no, he's injured me and he's 541 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,639 Speaker 4: out for the week. Okay, how did the kids injure U? 542 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,520 Speaker 4: Sarah and Taramara? What happens here? 543 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 13: I was with my dad and I broke his finger 544 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,720 Speaker 13: because I slammed it into the cupbin. 545 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,640 Speaker 2: On No, it wasn't his pinky, was it? 546 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,080 Speaker 4: Oh Sarah? 547 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,680 Speaker 2: Did Dad get angry or did he was he? Did 548 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:06,840 Speaker 2: he play it cool? 549 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 13: He got really nice and it was all funny looking. 550 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 1: Oh no, straight to the doctor, stretched up thing out 551 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:16,679 Speaker 1: and put her back together. 552 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,159 Speaker 4: Well, I don't say, let's go to Alana now and 553 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,399 Speaker 4: warn Ara hids tell us what happened with yous? 554 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:22,920 Speaker 14: Yeah? 555 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,440 Speaker 9: So it was actually my brother. He was running around 556 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 9: the backyard with his probly four year old daughter then 557 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,679 Speaker 9: and they got pavers out the back and he's just 558 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:34,359 Speaker 9: tripped and he's taken her with him, so he slipped 559 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 9: her around so he didn't land on her. He's landed 560 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 9: on his shoulder and he's broke a couple of bones 561 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 9: in his shoulder. 562 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,120 Speaker 2: But saved her as a hero. 563 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,720 Speaker 9: Yeah, so that's what he keeps telling us. Really strange 564 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 9: because my husband had a shoulder operation at the same time, 565 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,200 Speaker 9: and my brother's wife had also had a shoulder operation, 566 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:56,960 Speaker 9: so all three of them were in slings. 567 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 4: Cool package, very hard, a little at kids, very hard 568 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,560 Speaker 4: to look after the look at the kids the same 569 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:04,679 Speaker 4: way after that, isn't it? 570 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 2: Mel Northmeade? What happened to your partner? Mel? 571 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 6: So? 572 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,640 Speaker 9: He used to do athletics when he was young, and 573 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,840 Speaker 9: as his kids were going to athletics, so we're in 574 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,960 Speaker 9: their early teens, he's decided to be the cool, healthy 575 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 9: dad and. 576 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 11: He's senior athletics and he was doing a two hundred 577 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 11: meter race in rotches his achilles. 578 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 2: Ah, that's what guy Sebastian just did. 579 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:32,800 Speaker 4: Now that's how you're out for a long time, minimum 580 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:33,359 Speaker 4: a year. 581 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:33,680 Speaker 2: Mail. 582 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 4: So that was the end of his sporting career. After that, 583 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,440 Speaker 4: he's never gone back to athletics. 584 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:39,919 Speaker 11: He's never gone back to touch footy. 585 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 13: And we were meant to go to a ski holiday 586 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 13: in Canada. 587 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:54,760 Speaker 2: Three male cancel at all Samsia, Hello, Hey, how are 588 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 2: you guys? Good? What's your story? 589 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 13: So my brother fall around for the ball on the 590 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 13: roof and gone up to go get it. 591 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 9: They stopped the ladder and actually broke it. His nineteen 592 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 9: three places. 593 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:11,919 Speaker 1: Oh you're kidding me, it's not funny at all, just 594 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 1: to get the ball. 595 00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:14,520 Speaker 2: How is he? Is he okay? 596 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 11: Now he's actually okay. So the fight like it's stables 597 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 11: what they called it, So nothing can ask for. 598 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 10: Anything, so he can walk and he's. 599 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 14: Just in the boats. 600 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, most important question as well, Sonthia as well. Did 601 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 4: anyone film it so you can put it up on socials? 602 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 9: No, I mean my brother's always No, I missed it. 603 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 2: So you asked the question, did it really happen? 604 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,680 Speaker 4: Rowing incarage on how did your father son fishing trip 605 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:49,160 Speaker 4: go wrong? 606 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,439 Speaker 14: Not real? Good little fella. When he first took him 607 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,280 Speaker 14: out on the boat, he stood up really fast and 608 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,879 Speaker 14: got me in the eye with the end of the 609 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,920 Speaker 14: fishing road from the eyelid, and then as he went 610 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 14: to pull it away, the hook got me in the 611 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:04,440 Speaker 14: side of the head. 612 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 2: No, it didn't know what around the tent. 613 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 14: Get a book removed out of the side of my 614 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,159 Speaker 14: head and pitches in the eyelid. 615 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:15,720 Speaker 1: Oh, hadn't even got the line in the water, right, kid, 616 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:17,120 Speaker 1: he's got a nibb. 617 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,120 Speaker 2: You're gonna pull in dad. I think I've got a temple. 618 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,160 Speaker 2: I had an eyeball at the same time. 619 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,840 Speaker 14: Yeah, they're always good. 620 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 2: Oh, good on you for making the effort mate. 621 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,399 Speaker 1: It's in Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast 622 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,920 Speaker 1: walk great shows like this. Download the Nova player, find 623 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,679 Speaker 1: the app store, or Google playing the player