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Speaker 1: Nick, come aos, did I get anywhere close to that?

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Speaker 2: It's your accent. It's just it's an accent thing.

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Speaker 1: It's not well, tell you what, in Australia, very few

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Speaker 1: people can understand me because of an Irishman living in Australia.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, so we'll just run with that thing,

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Speaker 1: like welcome to the podcast. You are lots of different

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Speaker 1: things to lots of different people, right, So you are

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Speaker 1: a coach, you run Man's health for teacher, you're an

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Speaker 1: entrepreneur and you've been in a fitness industry. You're ex military.

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Speaker 1: So just give people a bit of a sense of

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Speaker 1: your story from a high level, like just starting starting

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Speaker 1: as a kid, and take us through the journey.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I grew up without an active father in the home,

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Speaker 2: not something that I even realized was unnormal. And obviously

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Speaker 2: that plays into a lot of different things, right, I

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Speaker 2: mean we know the statistics really worldwide, any first or

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Speaker 2: second world country that doesn't have a father in the home,

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Speaker 2: how that kind of plays out with you know, education, crime,

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Speaker 2: et cetera, success later in life. Anyways, So yeah, I

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Speaker 2: didn't grow up. I had my brother and my mom.

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Speaker 2: We used to, you know, make jokes that my mom

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Speaker 2: was running from the law because we were literally we

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Speaker 2: would move every six months to a different school. Wow,

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Speaker 2: you know, and you know, as an adult, you know,

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Speaker 2: like why were we moving around? You know? And she

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Speaker 2: was like, honestly, it's just jobs. If I could get

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Speaker 2: a job making this much money and I would move,

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Speaker 2: I'd move us. As we were just trying to survive.

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Speaker 2: And I asked her when I was like, how much

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Speaker 2: were you making, you know, take care of you know,

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Speaker 2: she was laughing. I was like thousand a months. She

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Speaker 2: was like sometimes like five hundred a month, five hundred

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Speaker 2: to one thousand dollars.

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Speaker 1: A month, and trying to bring up two boys on that.

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Speaker 2: Trying to bring up two boys on that. So like

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Speaker 2: later in life, I honestly was like, man, it's actually

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Speaker 2: pretty impressive. Like we're survivors, you know. And it never

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Speaker 2: took really a handout from anything, but no stateside, you know,

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Speaker 2: we never got on welfare. She always worked. That was

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Speaker 2: kind of like one of our family things. You know.

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Speaker 2: I come from kind of a poor family, and but

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Speaker 2: they never they just valued hard work. I think I

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Speaker 2: had a lot to do with my grandfather. My grandfather

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Speaker 2: was a Korean War and Vietnam veteran, and he just

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Speaker 2: had a very like we had a very high work

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Speaker 2: ethic and realizing that what you make is based off

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Speaker 2: of comes off your own hands. And and that was

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Speaker 2: very Even as a kid, I remember that kind of

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Speaker 2: that core value, if you will, kind of being an

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Speaker 2: and it stuck with me. At eleven years old, I

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Speaker 2: started got my first job. Like you know, in the States,

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Speaker 2: we get this thing called it's like a social Security statement,

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Speaker 2: and you pay in like you take they take it

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Speaker 2: out of you know, most in most countries they take

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Speaker 2: wages for taxes and for different things. Right, one of

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Speaker 2: the things is for social Security for your for your

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Speaker 2: your retirement, if you if when you reach that ripe

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Speaker 2: old age, right, well, if you go back on my statement,

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Speaker 2: it says that I've I've been paying social Security since

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Speaker 2: nineteen ninety three, which was I was eleven years old. Wow. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and uh and I think we lie. I don't even

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Speaker 2: know how it because that's like at that point, I'm

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Speaker 2: not even sure that was legal, but somehow we squeezed

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Speaker 2: through and my social Security started started nineteen ninety three.

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Speaker 2: So it was just always a thing that like you

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Speaker 2: if you want money, if you want things, you got

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Speaker 2: to work for it. That's how that's how it goes.

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Speaker 2: So anyways, you know, long story, stort I hated moving moving,

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Speaker 2: but I'll kind of come back to that when I

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Speaker 2: get them to the military. Because I didn't have an

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Speaker 2: active father in the home, I did have a stepfather

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Speaker 2: that was coming in and out. I believe he worked

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Speaker 2: on like gash ole pipeline type stuff like rigs, and

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Speaker 2: so he was kind of coming and going from the

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Speaker 2: time I was about five until the time I was

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Speaker 2: about eleven.

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Speaker 1: I'm nick was not was did you find that to

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Speaker 1: be helpful or more disruptive? Having this guy who used.

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Speaker 2: To I'll tell you he was. He was physically abusive

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Speaker 2: to me and emotionally abusive to my brother, right And

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Speaker 2: obviously I'm a kid at the time, so it's you know,

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Speaker 2: you take you gotta have to take it. And at

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Speaker 2: eleven years old is the time that I fought back

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Speaker 2: and I got thrown through a closet door. We had

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Speaker 2: a little tussle. Obviously there's a grown man. I'm eleven.

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Speaker 2: You know, we know how that's going to go. But

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Speaker 2: that tussle is what woke up my mom and she

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Speaker 2: was able to she got that's when she found out

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Speaker 2: of the situation. And then it all came out. I

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Speaker 2: jumped through a window, I excaped, you know, I escaped

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Speaker 2: the house and ran away and that was the end

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Speaker 2: of that. And she left him that on the spot,

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Speaker 2: kicked him out, left him on the spot. And to

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Speaker 2: be honest, you know, she never knew any of the

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Speaker 2: other stuff was going down. But through that, the lack

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Speaker 2: of a you know, lack of an actual, you know,

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Speaker 2: positive real mole model, I went straight into this need

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Speaker 2: for community, this need for acceptance, which landed me in

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Speaker 2: a basically a quote unquote a gang.

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Speaker 1: All I was just about to say, there is a

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Speaker 1: bit of a phenomenon in Australia about young meal gangs.

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Speaker 1: And you know a lot of people are pointing the

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Speaker 1: finger that a lot of them are immigrants, but a

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Speaker 1: lot of them tend to have absent fathers and you know,

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Speaker 1: brought up with no role models, and they just gravity

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Speaker 1: towards their own groups, don't it because they need that

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Speaker 1: sense of connection.

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Speaker 2: And you know what, and and because I didn't have it,

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Speaker 2: they were right there waiting on it. And I tell

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Speaker 2: people all the time, I'm like, guys, if you don't

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Speaker 2: man up and be that there is a there's a

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Speaker 2: group of people out there that is waiting for that

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Speaker 2: young man to show up and be like, yeah, come on.

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Speaker 1: And that's where you then get your values from and

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Speaker 1: all on your behaviors and all of that stuff.

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Speaker 2: Right, that's right, that's exactly it. Now, that becomes your

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Speaker 2: core values, that becomes the rules of engagement for life.

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Speaker 2: And that's exactly what happened. And so that happened right

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Speaker 2: out at eleven. It was ironic, like look, being at

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Speaker 2: the age I am now and looking back at it,

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Speaker 2: like you know, that altercation happened in me feeling in

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Speaker 2: danger or me feeling weak or something like that, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, well, I'm not going to be a victim,

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Speaker 2: and I'm going to go I'm going to go get

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Speaker 2: someone who is going to have my back and be

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Speaker 2: a part of a community that is going to protect me.

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Speaker 2: And and if you look at it, and ironically enough,

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Speaker 2: it was the gang was called the the Irish Shenanigans.

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Speaker 1: There you go, the token there.

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Speaker 2: And what's funny is my my actual father, like you know,

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Speaker 2: he wasn't around, but when he found out, he was

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Speaker 2: pissed and he was he was like, He's like, you're

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Speaker 2: not Irish or Greek? What the you know? Anyways, it

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Speaker 2: was funny, but yeah, man, by the time I was thirteen,

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Speaker 2: So that happened when I was eleven. By the time

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Speaker 2: I was thirteen, I was a two time convicted felon

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Speaker 2: as an adult. Yeah, so just two short years U

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Speaker 2: two short years, had two felonies under my belt that

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Speaker 2: would not get expunged when I turned eighteen. I thought

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Speaker 2: it was going to but it did not. Yeah, cost me,

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Speaker 2: cost me something in the future. So that happened, and

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Speaker 2: I got rolled up with the police and obviously got

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Speaker 2: thrown in juv That was a that was a long

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Speaker 2: It was a whole long time right there. And I

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Speaker 2: make a joke. I say, by the time I was fourteen,

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Speaker 2: I was cleaning on the straight and arrow. I'd stop drinking,

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Speaker 2: stop doing drugs, stop breaking laws. So by fourteen, I'd

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Speaker 2: cleaned up my life, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Wow? And what then led you to the military?

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Speaker 2: That's where it goes. So I am seventeen years old.

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Speaker 2: I just turned seventeen years old. I'm working at a

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Speaker 2: place called Baypoint Marriott. In the morning, I was an

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Speaker 2: audio visual consultant for I want to say, I was

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Speaker 2: making like fifteen dollars an hour in the mid nineties

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Speaker 2: hooking up you know, a conference center, so like hooking

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Speaker 2: up projectors, lights, microphones from six am to two pm,

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Speaker 2: and then I would take a thirty minute break. I'd

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Speaker 2: have a club sandwich and fries. Every single day at

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Speaker 2: two thirty to ten thirty. I was a bellman at

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Speaker 2: the same resort. It became very consistent and and I go,

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Speaker 2: I don't I don't want that for my life in

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Speaker 2: twenty of thirty years. Like, that's not where I want

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Speaker 2: to be in twenty or thirty years. So I make

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Speaker 2: the joke saying that I like, I hit the nuclear option,

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Speaker 2: I like blew up my life. And I was like, well,

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Speaker 2: screw it. The only way out that I know is

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Speaker 2: the military. My grandfather did it. And you know the

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Speaker 2: time in the nineties that I don't know if you

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Speaker 2: know this, but the Marine Corps marketing tactics in the

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Speaker 2: nineties was spot on. I mean spot on. You had

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Speaker 2: guys battling dragons with swords, and they're saying that like,

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Speaker 2: you know, we don't promise you a rose garden, and

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Speaker 2: they're like this is the hardest thing. And they had

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Speaker 2: sexy uniforms, and I'm like, dude, if I'm gonna do

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Speaker 2: join the military, I'm obviously going to go fight dragons

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Speaker 2: and be a marine. Yes, And what young man doesn't

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Speaker 2: want to go fight a dragon right with sword? And

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Speaker 2: so I went and talked to them recruiter, and he

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Speaker 2: did his thing, and then he got my information down,

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Speaker 2: went in the back and I'll never forget the look

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Speaker 2: on his face when he came out and was like, kid,

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Speaker 2: you're not joining the Marine Corps nor any branch. You're

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Speaker 2: a high school dropout and a convicted felon. And keep

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Speaker 2: in mind Clinton was in was the president at the time,

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Speaker 2: so that he was like he was crushing. He was

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Speaker 2: in the middle of crushing the military. He was. It

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Speaker 2: was a huge draw down. So like there, So I

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Speaker 2: had medical issues, a drug I didn't need a drug waiver.

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Speaker 2: I had to. I had to have a waiver for

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Speaker 2: my criminal background. I was a high school dropout. And

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Speaker 2: he told me no. And I'll tell you right now, Paul,

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Speaker 2: that was the biggest mistake he could have done, was

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Speaker 2: tell a rebellious kid no, because all I did was

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Speaker 2: like that became my mission. M HM, quit my job,

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Speaker 2: moved in with my grandmother, and you're talking. I threw

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Speaker 2: that all that money away and moved in my grand

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Speaker 2: with my grandmother, started working nights at a movie theater

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Speaker 2: for like four fifty an hour. I remember getting my

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Speaker 2: first check after two weeks and it was like one

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Speaker 2: hundred and seventy five bucks, and I'm like, how are

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Speaker 2: people surviving off of this? And then joined the college

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Speaker 2: to do a semester, because if you join a college,

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Speaker 2: get accepted, and do one semester and then drop out,

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Speaker 2: you're no longer a high school dropout.

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Speaker 1: You're ah, you're a college drop fight.

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Speaker 2: And we know the military loves a college dropout. So

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Speaker 2: that's what I did. So I did that. It almost

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Speaker 2: took me two years to get in, and so that's

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Speaker 2: what I did. I got a one hundred letters of

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Speaker 2: recommendation from from bosses and friends and family and people

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Speaker 2: my mom knew about me, and I just made it.

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Speaker 2: I just went on a man that was my mission

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Speaker 2: and uh and joined them and ended up joining the

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Speaker 2: Marine Corps at eighteen turned nineteen and recruit training. And

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Speaker 2: in two thousand.

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Speaker 1: And how did you how did you find the training

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Speaker 1: for the Marines and that whole community. Was that something

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Speaker 1: that you just I mean.

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Speaker 2: It was I guess you could say it was hard

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Speaker 2: in a way. I mean you got to keep in

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Speaker 2: mind that, you know that that era of youth was different,

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Speaker 2: Like we grew up outside. We did that. We didn't

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Speaker 2: have social media, we didn't have the internet. You know,

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Speaker 2: the Internet came around late nineties for us. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: it wasn't nothing to sit around on. It was like,

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Speaker 2: you know, we used I remember using Aol messenger. Hey

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Speaker 2: where are you at? Okay? Cool, I'm going to meet

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Speaker 2: you over there, you know what I mean. It was

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Speaker 2: it was more of a way to message people. And

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Speaker 2: so we just we were very I was very physical.

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Speaker 2: I was already lifting weights, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: Like I wanted to get jacked all the time, you know,

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Speaker 2: eating protein, following old you know, our old bodybooks. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's that's just what I That's just what we did.

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Speaker 2: And so it was very, very different. It wasn't nothing.

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Speaker 2: It was hard, but it wasn't something like we didn't

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Speaker 2: have this belief that we couldn't do it. I couldn't

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Speaker 2: do it. The issue came into play where after working

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Speaker 2: for almost two years to get in the military. On

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Speaker 2: training day seven, I broke my wrist and I got

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Speaker 2: dropped to a medical rehabilitation particular.

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Speaker 1: This is this is post. This is post when you

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Speaker 1: finished all your training.

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Speaker 2: No, no, this was in boot camp. This is in

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Speaker 2: recruit recruit training. I got there, I was like, yes,

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Speaker 2: I made it, I'm going in. Everything was going good.

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Speaker 2: On training day seven, I broke my wrist and I

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Speaker 2: got dropped, and that spired me for a little bit,

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Speaker 2: and like there was that was a whole weird experience.

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Speaker 2: But once I got over myself and stopped being a

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Speaker 2: little baby about it, because I had a moment, you know,

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Speaker 2: I'll be honest, Paul, I had a moment where I

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Speaker 2: was I turned into a little baby and threw a

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Speaker 2: tempotenttrum a little bit. But once I got over that,

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Speaker 2: I realized, Okay, how can I turn this negative into

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Speaker 2: a really good positive? So, honestly, the criminal, the criminal

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Speaker 2: in me, just came out. I'm like, I learned all

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Speaker 2: the drill instructors, habits, their rotations, how the island worked,

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Speaker 2: the timing of everything, who's who in the zoo, how

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Speaker 2: the system works on the island, And I just learned

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Speaker 2: everything and when I did, and then after two and

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Speaker 2: a half months, I went back to two and a

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Speaker 2: half months, I went back to training picked up on

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Speaker 2: twenty Ay seven, but I had been there for almost

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Speaker 2: three months, so like nobody could hold a candlestick to me,

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Speaker 2: I was the leader. I became the guide and the

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Speaker 2: leader of the platoon, and I held that and ended

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Speaker 2: up graduating number one, all because I made the decision

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Speaker 2: that I was going to utilize this as a positive

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Speaker 2: to learn as much knowledge, like what's on the test,

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Speaker 2: what's on the test in two months? Well, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to learn all of it. And I did. I studied

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Speaker 2: all the books. I paid attention to what was coming

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Speaker 2: and going. I knew all the cycles of all the

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Speaker 2: journal instructors and what platoons, and like if anybody wanted

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Speaker 2: to know something, I knew it. I knew all of

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Speaker 2: the history, I knew all of the data. I knew everything.

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Speaker 2: So before they knew, before they came in and said

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Speaker 2: what they were going to say, I'm like, oh, it's

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Speaker 2: it's week four. This is what we're going to go.

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Speaker 2: Do you know? This is the cycle that we're in.

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Speaker 2: So I'll tell the guys and like Okay, get ready,

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Speaker 2: this is what's going to happen. Just the old thing

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Speaker 2: is like I turned you know, I turned lemons and lemonade. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 2: you know that's as it really is. Like I got

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Speaker 2: handed a bad deal and I just manipulated it for

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Speaker 2: a positive. I could have sat there and been sad

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Speaker 2: for two and a half months and made no progress

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Speaker 2: and then picked right back up. But I chose differently.

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Speaker 2: And it's little things like that over a period of

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Speaker 2: a life that really changes where you're at.

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Speaker 1: That's a big philosophy of the ancient stoic for loss

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Speaker 1: of verse is to to make the best of a

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Speaker 1: bad situation, right.

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Speaker 2: It's a lesson that it's a tuition payment if you

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Speaker 2: if you want it to be right, that's the that's

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Speaker 2: the real school. And uh and you know, now being

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Speaker 2: forty three, almost forty four, looking at life, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: there's a there is a reoccurrence, reoccurrence of the same

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Speaker 2: situation over and over and over, and I keep making

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Speaker 2: the same decision. And a good friend of mine said,

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Speaker 2: you know, we have the freedom of choice. We don't

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Speaker 2: have the freedom of consequence. Yeah, yeah, yeah right, and

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Speaker 2: we we but we do have the freedom of choice

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Speaker 2: and in which direction and how you're going to perceive

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Speaker 2: something as one hundred percent on you. And over a

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Speaker 2: period of time I've just through I think it all

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Speaker 2: started in my youth of just having to persevere through

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Speaker 2: adversity and not really having a choice. That that just

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Speaker 2: became like a like a core DNA thing of me,

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Speaker 2: almost to a fault, because there's sometimes that I get

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Speaker 2: told no or something gets you know, I have this thing,

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Speaker 2: and man, I'm like a freaking bulldog.

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Speaker 1: And this is the thing. The bit that all the

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Speaker 1: positive psychology in the world can't teach you is the

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Speaker 1: lessons that are learned through adversity and through doing hard stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so now I teach that's funny. I have this

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Speaker 2: on my have this on my thing. If you can

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Speaker 2: see that hard over easy and now, so I teach

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Speaker 2: this concept of choosing hard over easy, because you can

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Speaker 2: choose hard now and have it easy later, or you

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Speaker 2: can choose easy now. And I promise you hard is

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Speaker 2: going to come.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. I often say in workshops, like it's not

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Speaker 1: easy getting up early in the morning and going and

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Speaker 1: doing a work hard. It's not easy turning a lovely

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Speaker 1: warm shower to cold right. It's not easy choosing the

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Speaker 1: healthy food over the unhealthy attractive food. It's not easy

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Speaker 1: to have to do the work right. It's all hard,

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Speaker 1: but it's a shit load harder when you talk to

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Speaker 1: people and later in life who you are in shocking sheep,

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Speaker 1: riddled with disease and nowhere near the potential. So it's

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Speaker 1: all hard. So choose your bloody heart right, Choose.

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Speaker 2: Your heart, man, that's it, you know, and now And

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Speaker 2: it's so funny, like that became like we've done this

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Speaker 2: for so long, and now it's become like I got

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Speaker 2: my wife saying that, like we'll say something about our

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Speaker 2: you know, our relationship, and it's like, well, choose your

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Speaker 2: heart right. You want to have a hard conversation now

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Speaker 2: or you want to ruin a relationship later, you know,

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Speaker 2: two years down the road.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, this is and the reason that this

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Speaker 1: is top of mind for me is I've I've just

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Speaker 1: submitted the manuscript for my second book, which is around

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Speaker 1: thank you run something called Heartiness, which you'll be a

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Speaker 1: fan of now, And I start with a story that

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Speaker 1: has has influenced a lot of Western philosophy, and actually

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Speaker 1: what we're talking about right, now, and it's the trials

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Speaker 1: of Hercules, you know, way back in Greek mythology, where

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Speaker 1: the young Hercules ends up at a crossroads and there

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Speaker 1: are two paths, and one of the paths is shown

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Speaker 1: to him by Kakia, who is this very beautiful young

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Speaker 1: woman and promises a life of ease and all of this,

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Speaker 1: and then the other path is the path of Arite,

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Speaker 1: and where she says, if you choose this path, life

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Speaker 1: will be hard, but it will be meaningful. And that's

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Speaker 1: the path that Hercules chooses, right.

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Speaker 2: It's funny you say that when I when I talk

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Speaker 2: to people about joining the Agogi, our men's community, my

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Speaker 2: coaching group, I'm like, I will be one hundred percent

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Speaker 2: honest with you. Your life will not get easier by joining.

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Speaker 2: It will be actually much harder. All of the easy

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Speaker 2: choices that you're choosing now won't be there. You're going

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Speaker 2: to have to choose the hard choices. But your life

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Speaker 2: will be so much better and so much more meaningful.

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Speaker 1: And so let's jump in to that. So why why

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Speaker 1: particularly did you start to focus on man's health and

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Speaker 1: man's coaching? Was that just because of the journey that

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Speaker 1: you'd gone through and seeing lots of people on the

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Speaker 1: wayside and actually going, hey, there's a different path here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I guess it really started my transition. I

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Speaker 2: wrote a book called The Excommunicated Warrior, The Seven Stages

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Speaker 2: of Transition, and that story kind of outlined my exit

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Speaker 2: from Special Operations. So what I didn't really talk about

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Speaker 2: is once I got into the Marine Corps, I joined

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Speaker 2: a unit called Second Force Reconnaissance Company. I was with

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Speaker 2: recon for you know, a number of years, and then

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Speaker 2: Marine Special Operations Command stood up. I took selection for that.

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Speaker 2: I spent the last half of my career working with

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Speaker 2: SOCOM under Marine Specials as a Marine raider and you know,

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Speaker 2: doing special operations in the support of global warrantrorism until

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Speaker 2: twenty twelve.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: And then I exited from that. And when I exited,

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Speaker 2: I thought I had it all figured out, but unfortunately

386
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Speaker 2: I did. I did not, and I had a very

387
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Speaker 2: rough Like you hear, a lot of veterans have a

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Speaker 2: very challenging transition back to normal life.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, what was the most difficult thing for you?

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Speaker 2: When it comes down to it, it's you know, if

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Speaker 2: I strip away all I could say a lot of things,

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Speaker 2: but if I strip away all of it. It comes

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Speaker 2: down to identity. You really start, you really lose your

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Speaker 2: identity of who you are. Because Nick, it was a

395
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Speaker 2: reconnaissance marine, I was a force recomrane. I was a

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Speaker 2: marine raider and that and what that means is it's

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Speaker 2: how I train, That's like, that's while my brain works.

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Speaker 2: It's the clothes that I wear, the neighborhood that I

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Speaker 2: live in, the job that I do. It's it's how

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Speaker 2: what I look up on the internet, it's who I

401
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Speaker 2: can conversate with. It's it's everything, right, And if you

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Speaker 2: take that away from me, then who who and what

403
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Speaker 2: am I? And I didn't know. And there's a lot

404
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Speaker 2: of rhetoric for like saying software life, you know, Special

405
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,400
Speaker 2: Operation Forces for life, Marine raider for life, this and that,

406
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Speaker 2: recount for life. But the reality is when you leave,

407
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Speaker 2: you're done. The phone stops ringing, Yeah, your buddy, stop call,

408
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 2: they're they're moving on. They think that you're good. So, like,

409
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Speaker 2: we could talk for hours about that. And what's what's

410
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Speaker 2: interesting about that is that is the same across the

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Speaker 2: board anything law enforcement, firefight, the fire service, medical community.

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Speaker 1: A lot of athletes right have similar I said.

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Speaker 2: It is the story I put in my book is

414
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Speaker 2: like this about about a young man who starts like

415
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Speaker 2: little like pee wee football at four years old, and

416
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Speaker 2: he plays football there. He plays in elementary, middle, high school, college,

417
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Speaker 2: gets in you know, or gets drafted straight into the NFL,

418
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Speaker 2: and then blows his knee out at twenty three years old.

419
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Speaker 2: This man does not remember not playing football. He is

420
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Speaker 2: a footballer, that's what he does. And at twenty three

421
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Speaker 2: years old he blows his knee out and can't play anymore.

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Speaker 2: And Paul, I cannot tell you how many of those

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Speaker 2: people have reached out to me and how many people

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Speaker 2: I've met, and that same exact thing. At that young

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Speaker 2: of age, they go, if I can't play the sport,

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Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm supposed to do in life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's it's it's across the board, right,

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Speaker 1: is that when people have their identity wrapped up in

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Speaker 1: their job and then that changes that that often people

430
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Speaker 1: have a very very hard landing. And then and then

431
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 1: often it will then coincide with age and the whole

432
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:40,880
Speaker 1: midlife crisis thing and changing hormones and all of that shit.

433
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 2: That it's like a colossal, just epic shit chill, shit

434
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 2: show all at once. That's exactly what happens, and that's

435
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 2: the reason why. So so going back to your question

436
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 2: is like one, it really started with me. I mean here,

437
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 2: I am a six foot tall, two hundred and four

438
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 2: ten percent body fat, you know, in my early thirties

439
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,159
Speaker 2: to a couple of years later, six foot tall, two

440
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 2: hundred and forty almost thirty percent body.

441
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 1: Fat, jumping jasus.

442
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love sharing that photo because to me, that

443
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 2: the photo of me on the beach in Greece with

444
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 2: my family looking like that shows how far you someone

445
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,879
Speaker 2: can get lost. And the truth of it is that guy,

446
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 2: you know, and people go like, well, that wasn't that bad.

447
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 2: You didn't look that bad, blah blah blah blah blah.

448
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 2: You know, I think I did because the way I look,

449
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: But you know, like I wasn't, you know, four hundred pounds,

450
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,199
Speaker 2: like we get guys that are coming in. I was

451
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 2: out of shape. I was softened out of shape. And

452
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 2: uh but the reality is, Paul, like I was depressed.

453
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 2: I hated myself. I had a lot going on in

454
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 2: my head that like that guy was miserable that lot,

455
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 2: and that guy was living a life of quiet desperation.

456
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 2: So through through a friend and actually a good friend,

457
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 2: Nick Bear and BPN, I was doing a lot of

458
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:06,160
Speaker 2: media stuff and I became an athlete through Bear Performance

459
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 2: Nutrition and one of their first actually and I said, hey, dude,

460
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 2: I want to get in phenomenal shape. I want to

461
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 2: show people what you can do. So I started this

462
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,159
Speaker 2: thing and I just like snapped out of it. I

463
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 2: remembered who I was, and I did the did this

464
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 2: thing called the ninety day vlog where I launched a

465
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 2: business in ninety days. I went from like twenty eight

466
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 2: percent body fat to ten percent body fat in ninety days.

467
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 2: And I was going to make a video every single

468
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 2: day for ninety days and just document this journey of

469
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 2: how basically it was like a New Year's instead of

470
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 2: having New Year's resolutions, because everybody has a New Year's resolution,

471
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 2: but without a plan, your new year's resolution is just

472
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,160
Speaker 2: a wish, right, Yeah, So I want to show people

473
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 2: how to execute. So I just threw myself in this

474
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 2: hopper and I got in phenomenal shape. When I did

475
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 2: the next year, people started asking me and I said,

476
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 2: and it changed so much, Like as soon as I

477
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 2: got in shape, I had you know, and I got

478
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 2: my hormones figured out. On TRT, I had a lot

479
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,120
Speaker 2: more clarity in my life. Right the brain fog lifted,

480
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 2: I had more energy and more drive. I had clarity

481
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 2: in my vision of where I wanted to go. And

482
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 2: I was like, holy shit, man, this is really this

483
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,879
Speaker 2: is the real deal. And then guys started hitting me

484
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 2: up and I was like, oh, man, well you just

485
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 2: need to get in shape. So Josh and I started,

486
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 2: who was a teammate of mine, started what now is

487
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,160
Speaker 2: the AGOGI in twenty eighteen, and it was like old

488
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 2: school fitness and nutrition coaching. I send you a Google sheet,

489
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 2: you know, we worked off Google sheets and or whatever

490
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 2: they were at the time. People would put in their

491
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: macros and then we'd issue training and very rudimentary and go.

492
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: Ahead before we dive, because I do want to dive

493
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 1: into that, but I just want to rewind a little.

494
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 1: How much of the how much of that descending fog

495
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:03,160
Speaker 1: and the difficulties of leaving the marines. How much of

496
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:07,880
Speaker 1: that do you think was that loss of identity as

497
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm no longer a marine reator, and how much of

498
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,639
Speaker 1: it was a loss of purpose? Have you ever thought

499
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 1: about those elements.

500
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 2: I think it was. I think it was one and

501
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 2: the same. I think I think it was one and

502
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 2: the same one, you know, one it's not who I

503
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 2: am and then I And the thing is is I

504
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 2: still had a job to do, like I still always

505
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,199
Speaker 2: created something. But I didn't know. I think I was

506
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 2: just doing Paul, I don't think I had a true purpose,

507
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 2: which is okay. I think people, I think we give

508
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 2: too much weight to purpose. Purpose can be whatever you

509
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 2: make it to be. It doesn't have to be this like,

510
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 2: you know, like the heavens open up for the sins,

511
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,360
Speaker 2: you know. But I think people are waiting on that.

512
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 2: They're like, I don't I haven't had this epiphany of

513
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 2: my purpose. I'm like, dude, your purpose can be whatever

514
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 2: you want it to be.

515
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,439
Speaker 1: I also say people are waiting for the purpose fairing.

516
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, dude, like there's so much weight

517
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 2: given to this word purpose. And I'm like, dude, purpose

518
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 2: can be whatever you want it to be. This week,

519
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 2: like change it and it should change in a year

520
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 2: it would be different. But to give your point, I

521
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 2: didn't really know. I guess what direction I was just doing,

522
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 2: which is good, right if you don't know what to

523
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 2: do just do just that. Yeah, yeah, and then through

524
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 2: that execution you'll find and that's exactly what happened to me.

525
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 1: Well, I think they're doing is you're you're in forward

526
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: motion towards something, right, and that that is what that's

527
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 1: what brings them. We're talking about fairies, purpose veries, but

528
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 1: that's what brings the motivation fairy. This is a lot

529
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: of people are sitting waiting for the motivation fairy when

530
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: they don't realize that if they start acting and have

531
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 1: a goal and say they're in forwards motion towards your goal,

532
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 1: that's what releases still puming in the brand and gives

533
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: you further motivation.

534
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 2: And through this journey right of this this this meat transitioning,

535
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 2: it's all in the book me transitioning out of military

536
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 2: and learning. I threw myself into like different therapies, and

537
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 2: I threw myself. I became a guinea pig because I

538
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 2: was running a nonprofit helping other veterans and so and

539
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 2: that's and there's something to that, right, there's this this

540
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 2: idea of service. You know, if you're depressed, go help somebody,

541
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 2: go help, go help three people that are worse off

542
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 2: than you. So I started doing I started doing that

543
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 2: more and more, and because I was on this journey

544
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 2: that was really no there was no destination for this journey.

545
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 2: I was just doing. I was just executing. But through

546
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 2: that I started to find different people and different things

547
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 2: that would come across my life that I would gain

548
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 2: more even more clarity. And it was like a positive

549
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 2: snowball effect, and that I think that's it was. It wasn't.

550
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 2: I didn't have this like idea of purpose other than

551
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 2: I did this idea that I just needed to keep

552
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: moving forward. And and that's when I developed my kind

553
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 2: of like there was this thing that I say, and

554
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 2: people even say it back to me now, and I

555
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 2: have a shirt forward is never quit, never surrender, always forward,

556
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 2: and it's just you know, by with and through. It's

557
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 2: kind of like the old Special Operations idea of things.

558
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 2: It was just continue if you you know, if you've

559
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 2: got to go to move forward. If you hit a wall,

560
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,479
Speaker 2: maybe you need to go through it, maybe you need

561
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 2: to go over it, maybe you need to go around it,

562
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 2: you know, but regardless is don't stay where you're at,

563
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 2: just keep moving forward. And and that's where I was

564
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 2: for a long time. I was like, I'm just going

565
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 2: to move forward. Now. Obviously, the more you lean into

566
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 2: personal development, the more that I leaned into growth, the

567
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 2: more that I kept doing that, things became I got smarter,

568
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 2: and things did become more clear, and then I start realizing, like,

569
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 2: what my you know, there was a thing that happened

570
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 2: that I realized what my personal mission was. And once

571
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 2: I realized that, things became even more clearer. And then

572
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 2: and then we just dialed everything in over the Now.

573
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: That's really interesting that you talk about that, because often

574
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 1: if I'm in workshops and I'm talking about purpose, so

575
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 1: and I'll say, very similar to what you're doing. There's

576
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: a lot of people think that their purpose in life

577
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 1: needs to be running a multimillion dollar startup and an

578
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: orphanage in Nepal at the same time. And I'm like

579
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: that that's bootshit when you look at all of it.

580
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 1: It's about being of service, being an integrated part of

581
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: the of your community, right, And I'm like, just just

582
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 1: just start with something. And I get people to write

583
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 1: a little tombstone statement about how they would like their

584
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 1: life to be viewed when they've passed.

585
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 2: And yeah, eulogy too. Yeah, it's powerful.

586
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: And it's powerful right. But it then what it does

587
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 1: is it starts to get people to think about how

588
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 1: they want to be. And then I say, all I

589
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: want you to do now is what you've written down here.

590
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 1: Spend five to ten minutes day deliberately acting on that.

591
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 1: So if it's about being a great dad or a

592
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 1: great mom, spend five minutes a day deliberately being great.

593
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 1: Because then when your attention is on it, your brain

594
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 1: is going to commit sales to it, and it's you're

595
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 1: going to get clarity over time, right, which is exactly

596
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: what you just said.

597
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 2: Where your focus goes, your energy flows.

598
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, absolutely so, So let's let's let's then

599
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 1: tase apart. So I think we've established the importance of

600
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 1: being in forwards motion and of of that. I loved

601
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: what you said about was it by round and through

602
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 1: in terms of all and through, by with and through,

603
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 1: which is which is is awesome? So what what are

604
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 1: talk me through some of the elements of your coaching,

605
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: Whether you know how much of its mindset, how much

606
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 1: of its physical? Why is the physical important? All of

607
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: that stuff?

608
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 2: Absolutely? So it started out physical pretty much only, and

609
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 2: then Josh and I we get this stuff back because

610
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 2: you do like weekly check ins, right, and we would

611
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 2: get their stuff back, you see their weight, you know,

612
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 2: and then we'd see their logs and we're like, dude,

613
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: why can't these guys, these are grown men. Why can't

614
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 2: these grown men stay consistent? Why can't they hit their numbers?

615
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 2: Why can't they do the things that they're supposed to do?

616
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 2: They wanted, they signed up, they're the ones paying. Why

617
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 2: can't they do it? And so we started talking to

618
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 2: these guys and we realized that they didn't have a

619
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 2: fitness to nutrition problem. They had a mindset problem. They

620
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,959
Speaker 2: had a limiting belief problem, had a trauma problem. There

621
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 2: were just broken men really on the on the inside

622
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:49,719
Speaker 2: that knewbody nobody knew. And so so we turned it

623
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 2: into almost a men's mentorship community. So we started hosting

624
00:33:56,520 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 2: I started hosting coaching calls. And this is really when

625
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 2: things started to like we started to actually build a

626
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 2: real company away from Excel sheets. So we had like,

627
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 2: we developed an app and we started having zoom you know,

628
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 2: group zoom calls, and we developed the thing that we're like,

629
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 2: they could all be talking to each other like in

630
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 2: social media, yeah, and really build a community. And we

631
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 2: realized that when we started to attack the deep underlying

632
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 2: issues of why they're self sabotaging, why they're choosing food

633
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:31,280
Speaker 2: as comfort, why they're choosing all these bad habits, that's

634
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 2: when we started to see results and it wasn't enough.

635
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 2: We started to like last year we actually just went

636
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,839
Speaker 2: through another revamp where we created I was like, it's

637
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 2: not enough, man Like, still not enough. So two things

638
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 2: that we did was we created this educational We have

639
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 2: our pillars, which is our fitness pillar. Like I feel

640
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 2: like fitness is a gateway drug to success. I love that. Yeah,

641
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 2: it is because through fitness you find discipline, you find consistency,

642
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 2: you find delayed gratification, which transfers into all areas of

643
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 2: your life. Right, So fitness and then discipline, discipline in

644
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,760
Speaker 2: your life, discipline with your marriage, your children, your time,

645
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 2: just being disciplined over well, being able to say no

646
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 2: to things. Right.

647
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 1: And it's interesting Nick that the discipline, it's like the D,

648
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,440
Speaker 1: the bad D word that people don't talk about right

649
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 1: when it comes to behavioral change. And you read all

650
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: the research and I'm thinking, where the hell's the discipline

651
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 1: element to this? Because your motivation is great when it's around,

652
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 1: but when motivations not there, that's when you're discipline is.

653
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,320
Speaker 2: And I love that you brought that up, because, Paul,

654
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:43,400
Speaker 2: how are you.

655
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 1: I'm fifty three fifty that's a lie. I'm fifty four

656
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: fifty four.

657
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,760
Speaker 2: That's what happens over fifty. I don't think it matters

658
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 2: when you say that I.

659
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:54,799
Speaker 1: Just started fifty four last week.

660
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 2: There you go, So at fifty four, are you motivated

661
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:00,359
Speaker 2: to get your body up and go train every day?

662
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 1: That there's not a shitload of motivation, but I do

663
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,239
Speaker 1: it exactly.

664
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 2: That's motivation is great. It's like a drug. It's like

665
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 2: doing a line of cocaine. But it fades, Yes, it fades.

666
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 2: And that's what people hit me out there, like, you

667
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 2: don't need motivation. You don't need motivation, which you need

668
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 2: as a plan. What you need is a why. And

669
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 2: that kind of goes back to the third pillars. That is,

670
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 2: we wrote belief for our third pillar, and belief being

671
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 2: belief in yourself, believe in that you're worthy of love,

672
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 2: being believing that you are worthy of success, that you

673
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,399
Speaker 2: don't have limiting beliefs, that you don't think that your

674
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: past failures are going to be your future failures. That

675
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 2: you're stuck in this whatever the system is, that you're

676
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 2: in the belief that you can have the body that

677
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 2: you want, that you can have the relationship that you

678
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,720
Speaker 2: want with your wife, that you can be the father

679
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 2: to that you need to be with your kids, that

680
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 2: you believe that. We found that when people don't believe that,

681
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,399
Speaker 2: they'll never achieve it until they start believing it.

682
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's I think that concept of belief is

683
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:08,240
Speaker 1: heavily wrapped up in hope and optimism. Yeah, if people

684
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: don't have hope for the future, like Jesus, the wheels

685
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:13,760
Speaker 1: can come off big.

686
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 2: Time, right, and then at the joint, right, if they

687
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 2: don't have that, then what's the point? And the last

688
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 2: one being tribe and we kind of it's kind of

689
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 2: a tricky one because what it really comes down to

690
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 2: for us and Josh and I and the rest of

691
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 2: the guys is why do we Why do you get

692
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 2: up in the morning and go sacrifice? Why do you

693
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 2: go to the gym? Why do you why do you

694
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,400
Speaker 2: delay gratification? And for us, it's really about our tribe.

695
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,879
Speaker 2: It's it's our why because when we find a guy

696
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 2: that's like, I just want to look good, naked for me. Well,

697
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 2: when it's four o'clock in the morning, it's it's it's

698
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 2: thirty degrees out in the garage and you got to

699
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 2: go do burpies for you know, for time for ten

700
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 2: minutes Like that doesn't sound real fun, but it's so

701
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 2: that my son looks at me and doesn't think that

702
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 2: I'm a fat piece of shit. It looks at me

703
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 2: as a superhero and a role model and says that

704
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 2: on when I grow up, I want to be like you.

705
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 2: That's what will get you out out of the bed.

706
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 2: You know, looking good naked, that's only going to get

707
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 2: you so far. It's like motivation. We have to have

708
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 2: a deeper why of why we are doing the uncomfortable things,

709
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,839
Speaker 2: why we're choosing hard over easy every single day. And

710
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 2: it's got to be greater than ourselves.

711
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and not three welbins. Find your why, you'll

712
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 1: find your way. But he stole it from Frederick Nietzsche,

713
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 1: the German philosopher one hundred years ago said he has

714
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: a why to live for can bear almost any high.

715
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:28,919
Speaker 2: And I'm sure it probably came even further from that

716
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:32,400
Speaker 2: than you know, lots of and you know, and probably

717
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 2: they stole it from who knows what you know prior

718
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 2: to that, but it is true the human body. I

719
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 2: like Simon Sinek's talk on how great leaders inspire if

720
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 2: you ever if anybody's ever seen that, and he really

721
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 2: breaks the psychology down of the why and the humor

722
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 2: with why yeah, and how we associate with things at

723
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,240
Speaker 2: a very deep emotional level, and then you get people.

724
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,359
Speaker 2: If you want to inspire people, you have to give

725
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 2: them the why. And that's part of the one of

726
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 2: the reasons why we do so we had those are

727
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 2: our pillars. Those are the foundation, a bedrock of what

728
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 2: we stand on. But then we took another phase. We

729
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 2: took it another step further. We developed these four phases,

730
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 2: and the first one was mastering yourself, Like you have

731
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 2: to master yourself. You can't do anything until you can.

732
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:20,760
Speaker 2: You can master yourself in all areas, your fitness, your belief,

733
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 2: those pillars that we told you about. And a lot

734
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 2: of guys like, well, I want my money better and

735
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 2: I want my relationship better. I'm like, well, none of

736
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 2: that's going to be better until you are better. Like

737
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 2: you can. If you don't have the discipline to put

738
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 2: the cookie down, you're not going to have discipline to

739
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:36,880
Speaker 2: save a tenth of your earnings.

740
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 1: I think it's Leonardo da Vinci who talks about dominion

741
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 1: over yourself and having master and he says, he said,

742
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 1: without that and you got nothing.

743
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 2: You got nothing. So we developed this educational platform and

744
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 2: we broke down what does it mean to master yourself?

745
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,879
Speaker 2: And so what we did was we created that, right,

746
00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 2: we created this platform to to really dive into how

747
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 2: do I master myself? With all the worksheets, all the coaching, everything,

748
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 2: the videos, and then we and we make it sequential

749
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 2: because like the second one is leading your family, Phase

750
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 2: two is leading your family. You cannot lead your family

751
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 2: until you can lead yourself. Because if you come in

752
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:17,839
Speaker 2: and we saw this and we used to do these

753
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 2: thirty day challenges, Paul and these guys would jump on

754
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 2: the challenge and they'd pay their little ninety nine dollars

755
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 2: and they'd do this thirty day challenge like, oh yeah,

756
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 2: I got my Macros, this is my food list, and

757
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 2: they go into the kitchen they start throwing stuff out

758
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 2: and Okay, tell the whole family that we're doing it.

759
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 2: I'm doing a challenge. You're doing a challenge. We're all

760
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,239
Speaker 2: doing a challenge. And the wife's like, you are the

761
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 2: one puking picking cheetos out of your belly button last

762
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 2: night while you were sitting on the couch watching Netflix.

763
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 2: Who what are you talking about? No sugar and all this,

764
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like just trust, absolutely, no belief, no,

765
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 2: you know, like absolutely, just you know, a complete hypocritical person, right,

766
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:57,839
Speaker 2: And I was like, guys, and we saw this time

767
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 2: and time again, like my family won't get on board,

768
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 2: et cetera. I'm like, of course they're not going to

769
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,839
Speaker 2: get on board, Like you're not consistent, they don't believe you,

770
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 2: you're full of shit.

771
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 1: You got to earn the right to lead in any

772
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 1: any to me in.

773
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:14,319
Speaker 2: Right, heks? Right, So so that's what we did. And

774
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 2: then and then we start to and then phase two

775
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 2: is really diving into with the significant other leading the family.

776
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 2: Being an intentional father. What kind of father are you?

777
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 2: You know, truly being an intentional one, not a present one,

778
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:31,839
Speaker 2: but an intentional one, having rebuilding rebuilding trust from broken promises,

779
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:34,919
Speaker 2: you know, and having to kind of you know, there's

780
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 2: some workshops in there of having needed what we call

781
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,040
Speaker 2: the need a needy conversation with your significant other where

782
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,320
Speaker 2: they kind of down, they kind of get to download

783
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 2: everything that they've that you've potentially done to them, vertally

784
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 2: or invertly. It doesn't really matter right or indirectly or whatever.

785
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 2: Not on purpose maybe, but how how it affected them,

786
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,400
Speaker 2: And maybe there's some resentment that's being built up. And

787
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 2: resentment will kill any relationship. It's like a cancer. We

788
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 2: have to get rid of resentment. So we have these

789
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 2: things in there, and it's only then that we can

790
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 2: get the phase three, which is master your finances. Funny

791
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:14,239
Speaker 2: your financial plan. Well, then you're going to have You're

792
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:16,440
Speaker 2: gonna have problems there, You're going to have rub there,

793
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 2: You're going to have strife in your relationship because you

794
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,399
Speaker 2: guys are not heading in the same direction. You don't

795
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 2: have the same vision. So all this financial stuff that

796
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 2: you want to do and I talk about online or

797
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 2: I talk about in the group is not all or

798
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 2: not because it's going to create havoc in your in

799
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 2: your house. She has to be aligned with you. The

800
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 2: only way she can be aligned with you is if

801
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 2: we go back to mastering yourself and that you're leading

802
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 2: with intention and purpose. Right, she has trust you guys

803
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 2: are on the same page. You've rebuilt your relationship, you're

804
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 2: dating your wife, your wife is now your girlfriend, you

805
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Yeah, And it's only then that

806
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 2: we can master your finances. And then we get into

807
00:42:55,160 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 2: really really diving into what that means and really unconvinced

808
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:06,320
Speaker 2: wealth wealth growth, like really how wealthy people utilize wealth,

809
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 2: you know, utilizing debt and how they use debt and

810
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 2: life insurance and a lot of different things for investments

811
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 2: and whatnot. So we dive heavily to that. And the

812
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 2: last phase is the legacy, the leadership. You know, what

813
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 2: is what is your legacy? What is that going to build?

814
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 2: And kind of go from there.

815
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like the step wise approach through that that

816
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 1: it's that it's it's built from the bottom up. And

817
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 1: I think that I mean a few elements of that

818
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 1: that basically, trust really comes from doing what you say

819
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: that you're going to do. And if there's broken promises

820
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 1: that that will kill the trust in and if people

821
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 1: are not aligned. You got two different people rowing in

822
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 1: different directions, the folk's going breaking now.

823
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, and how many times have we met people or

824
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 2: seen that where it's like, oh, you guys are a mess.

825
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 2: You guys are going nowhere fast right. Yeah?

826
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, So me, what's the what what is the biggest

827
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:08,280
Speaker 1: thing that kind of comes out from guys who've gone

828
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 1: through your program, Like, what what is the biggest difference

829
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:14,360
Speaker 1: you see from the start to the finish?

830
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 2: Man, I'll say this, I got a text from a

831
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:22,360
Speaker 2: guy just as we got on chance down in Florida

832
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,879
Speaker 2: with the fam riding roller coasters left and right. Last

833
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 2: time here, I was too fat to write anything. Now

834
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 2: I'm making memories with the kids. Thanks for giving me

835
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 2: this gift.

836
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:34,839
Speaker 1: Wow, that's pretty cool. That must give you goosebumps when

837
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 1: you get stuff.

838
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 2: Like that makes you want to cry, Paul, that's every day,

839
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 2: that's every day. I think the biggest thing out of

840
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 2: is that I give people the permission to take over

841
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 2: their life, to be the capital of their own ship

842
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 2: and the CEO of their own life. Yeah, that's very cool.

843
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 1: I mean the last question and how much building a

844
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:58,240
Speaker 1: community and how much is it done for you? Having

845
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: been the guy who's been through several different identities and

846
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 1: now you've got that community, what's the impact on you? Man?

847
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:10,959
Speaker 2: I'll tell you. I literally will post in our group

848
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 2: all the time because I'll link up with people there

849
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 2: isn't a problem or a place that I can go

850
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 2: that I don't find somebody from our community and have

851
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 2: the most wholesome, real world conversations that men aren't having

852
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 2: anywhere else. And the fact to think that me and

853
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:35,320
Speaker 2: my best friend built this over years from nothing, and

854
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 2: I learned so much just being just linking up with

855
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 2: these men and having them kind of open up. And

856
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 2: it's to have to give them an opportunity to just

857
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 2: be open and real with really what's going on, because

858
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 2: everybody's pat this facade, right, nobody, nobody ever. You know,

859
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,240
Speaker 2: you ask a man how he's doing, fine, the reality

860
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 2: is you scratch just a little bit of crust off

861
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 2: the surface and there's a lot of pain going on,

862
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 2: a lot of lone a lot of loneliness, a lot

863
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 2: of heartache, a lot of frustration and uh, and to

864
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 2: be able to create have created something that gives them

865
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 2: a place to be open and honest. But not just

866
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 2: like don't get me wrong, we're not a cry like

867
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 2: a crying place. You know, we'll acknowledge the pain, we'll

868
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 2: acknowledge the trauma. And I kind of want to talk

869
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 2: about the retreat real quick, but we'll acknowledge all that.

870
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 2: But we're a very because I think of our background,

871
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 2: we're a very tactical community. Like I like, that's why

872
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:38,839
Speaker 2: the phases were so important. I have to give a

873
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 2: man needs a task. Okay, this is broken, this is

874
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:45,439
Speaker 2: not right. What is the tool that's going to get

875
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 2: me to the next level? Right? Like, I don't want

876
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 2: to just give it to God, I don't, you know.

877
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:51,880
Speaker 2: And I understand that I'm a faith guy as well,

878
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 2: but like God doesn't drive a park car, like, we

879
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:56,720
Speaker 2: have to actually do.

880
00:46:56,600 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 1: Something, and he's not coming to sort your shd eyed either, right.

881
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 2: Right, He's already given you the tools. You got to

882
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 2: do the work, right. And so I think that's what

883
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 2: it comes down to is just the fact that we've

884
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 2: been able to like I feel so fulfilled that we

885
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 2: have created a place for the men that raise their

886
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 2: hand and say, you know what, that's the type of

887
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 2: guy that I want. That's the type of guy that

888
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 2: I am, and the inside I just got to get

889
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,120
Speaker 2: I just got to get all this other stuff out

890
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 2: of it, you know. And I think it's designed because

891
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 2: you take men and you isolate them and they lose

892
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:38,439
Speaker 2: their power. Unite men in a community can't beat them. Yeah,

893
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 2: you can go to my website Nicko Molassos dot com,

894
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:54,880
Speaker 2: Orthegogi dot com. Thank you Paul very much. Oh so

895
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,720
Speaker 2: this is yeah, Paul, this was This was the biggest

896
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,919
Speaker 2: thing man, because we've been running events for a long

897
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 2: time and you can only do so much online. I

898
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 2: was literally talking to my wife. I was like, I

899
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 2: just need to get my hands on these guys, like

900
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,239
Speaker 2: I want to get my hands on them and have

901
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 2: and online is great. Online's great, but there is something

902
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 2: kind of magical when you get a group of men

903
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 2: in a room together. I and I can prove that

904
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 2: to you because if any man listening to this thinks

905
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:29,879
Speaker 2: about when there's no women around and they go link

906
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 2: up with all their bros, whether it be for positive

907
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:36,360
Speaker 2: or negative reasons, whether they're drinking or they're doing something

908
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 2: like a camping trip, it doesn't really matter what it

909
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:41,839
Speaker 2: is doing jiu jitsu doesn't really matter. When guys link up,

910
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 2: the weight comes off their shoulders, they laugh more, they

911
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 2: tell stories. That's what we created. But with intention. What

912
00:48:54,560 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 2: I learned was that through doing this and I really

913
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:01,919
Speaker 2: they didn't believe it. I didn't know one in three

914
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 2: men are physically abused one in four men are sexually abused,

915
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 2: and that statistics rain true every single time I get

916
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 2: a group of people in their inner room. And this

917
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:21,239
Speaker 2: is the reason why men continue to step sabotage, and

918
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:24,960
Speaker 2: they do. They do the roller coaster because they haven't

919
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,360
Speaker 2: dealt with that. And I have this thing where I

920
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:30,120
Speaker 2: talk about I can take shit and turn into apple pie.

921
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 2: And I really believe. I really do believe that, and

922
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,840
Speaker 2: I've got I've proven it multiple times in private rooms

923
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 2: where the worst of the worst and you're like, there's

924
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,399
Speaker 2: no way, how do I turn this into a superpower?

925
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:42,919
Speaker 2: And we do it every time, but I can't. That's

926
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 2: not something I can do online. I've got to break

927
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 2: bread with you. I've got to sweat with you. I've

928
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:51,400
Speaker 2: got to earn your trust. I've got to give you

929
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 2: permission to know that my heart is your heart and

930
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 2: your heart is mine, and we're good to go. We're friends,

931
00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 2: we're brothers. And when all of that, and I know

932
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:02,879
Speaker 2: it sounds crazy, but when all of that weight comes away,

933
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 2: all of that verbado and all of that ego comes

934
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:08,799
Speaker 2: away and stripes down, that's when men can open up

935
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 2: and the most amazing thing happens and when you when

936
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 2: a man can shed that weight that's he's been holding

937
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 2: on for years, is when he can really really his

938
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 2: life will sore. He can be the leader that he

939
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:27,840
Speaker 2: can be the leader that he knows he was supposed

940
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 2: to become. He can he can be the husband that

941
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 2: he knew was supposed to become. He can have the

942
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 2: body that he was always meant to have. And it

943
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 2: was those little things that was that was keeping him

944
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 2: from that. It was the obstacle. And that's what we

945
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:46,120
Speaker 2: do on these retreats is we break bread. And it's

946
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 2: crazy twenty twenty five, we're more connected. I'm talking to

947
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 2: you in Melbourne, Australia. I got family there, and I'm

948
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 2: in North Carolina. We're more connected than we ever have

949
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:59,319
Speaker 2: been ever in the history of men. Right yet we

950
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:04,759
Speaker 2: are more disconnected than ever before as well. And that's

951
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:06,800
Speaker 2: what that's why I think this mission is so important

952
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 2: is online communities are great, but we have to break

953
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:13,320
Speaker 2: bread together. We've got a sweat together.