Speaker 1: Tiffany and Cook, Craig, Anthony Harper.
Speaker 2: Oh look at us, look at us, bloody good luck
Speaker 2: on unit's just on a sad well on one of
Speaker 2: us better than the other.
Speaker 1: One of us.
Speaker 3: Looks like they've had a bit of a touch up
Speaker 3: by Bear the cat who you called a I can't
Speaker 3: say that word. That's I say a lot of words,
Speaker 3: but that one.
Speaker 2: Mm, well, all cats are sea words because they're cats,
Speaker 2: So that's a sea word. Yeah, And I did I well,
Speaker 2: as I I think I said. I don't know if
Speaker 2: I've said it on the podcast, but I went the
Speaker 2: other day to get a skin checked, and they you know,
Speaker 2: it's like just hey, we'll just have a bit of
Speaker 2: a squizze and look while we're here, well, we'll fucking
Speaker 2: attack your face with a chainsaw.
Speaker 3: You don't know what to remind me of Nicolas Cage,
Speaker 3: John Revolt his face off. It looks like you've just
Speaker 3: had that little profit. Is what you're wearing someone else's face?
Speaker 2: That wasn't you know when I saw face off it
Speaker 2: must have been nearly twenty years ago. I thought, gee,
Speaker 2: that's not a bad idea. If you're a crook and
Speaker 2: you need to get a new face, but anyway, I
Speaker 2: don't know if that's possible. Yeah, so it ended up
Speaker 2: being a little more significant that i'd anticipated. And I
Speaker 2: know I have the best part of ten stitches in
Speaker 2: my jaw. And as you said, because you hadn't seen
Speaker 2: it and you just jump on and you said, I
Speaker 2: look like I've been assaulted. I feel like I've been assaulted.
Speaker 2: And then I had to pay for the privilege.
Speaker 3: And that just makes it like I feel like you know,
Speaker 3: when you see someone with a saw face and then
Speaker 3: you struggle to move your face because I can feel that.
Speaker 3: I don't want to move the muscles in my jaw
Speaker 3: because I can see yours and it feels like it's.
Speaker 1: Sympathy pains.
Speaker 2: Can you not make me laugh?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: It's all right? When I showed you before we went live,
Speaker 2: when I when I do that, when I when I
Speaker 2: try and open my mouth too wide, or eating, you know,
Speaker 2: other than eating and opening my mouth. So it's all good,
Speaker 2: it's all good.
Speaker 1: What's that before you move on from it?
Speaker 3: What is the sensation like of waiting for the biopsy
Speaker 3: results even you know.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it's I've done it a few times. It's
Speaker 2: a little bit nerve wracking, but yeah, you you need to.
Speaker 2: By the way, everyone, if you don't get your skin
Speaker 2: checked and you think, oh, will never happen to me,
Speaker 2: well fucking think again. Think again.
Speaker 3: Two people on this show I've had shit cut out
Speaker 3: of their face, well and a million people.
Speaker 2: And like, the thing that I had cut out of
Speaker 2: my chin looks so innocuous. It looked like nothing. But
Speaker 2: the thing is, let's say there's something, you know, something
Speaker 2: the size of a small pe even that they cut. Basically,
Speaker 2: I'm showing Tiff this shape. It's it's like an eye,
Speaker 2: like the shape of an eye, but literally it's about
Speaker 2: what they cut out was maybe about forty mil or
Speaker 2: I don't know, thirty, I don't know, but big like
Speaker 2: so much because they've got to get all the borders right,
Speaker 2: So they cut it like if you think of your
Speaker 2: pupil as the spot, and then they cut like this
Speaker 2: eye shaped thing around and then they go deep as
Speaker 2: fuck because they've got to get all what they call
Speaker 2: the borders. And then they've got to make sure they
Speaker 2: go deep and get any potentially canterous whatever out and
Speaker 2: then they stitch that shit up anyway, but the bottom
Speaker 2: line is, go get your skin checked. I have had
Speaker 2: quite a few things cut out over the years, but
Speaker 2: I have not been back for about four years, and
Speaker 2: I'm meant to go every year. Yes, and i'ld mate.
Speaker 2: The doctor said to me, well, you haven't been there
Speaker 2: for a while, so I've got to go back next
Speaker 2: week get stitches out. Then I've got to go back
Speaker 2: the following week for more surgery than following week stitches out,
Speaker 2: Then the following week more surgery than the following week
Speaker 2: stitches out. What yeah, yeah, yeah, so I've got two
Speaker 2: more lots of surgery. I don't know do you call
Speaker 2: it surgery? I mean they're cutting you and stitching you, so.
Speaker 3: I guess surgical removal. So yeah, it is surgery.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's surgery. It's it's kind of under a local
Speaker 2: of course.
Speaker 3: How gross is it though that you can't feel the pain,
Speaker 3: but you can feel the feeling of that your face
Speaker 3: getting pulled away is.
Speaker 1: Graphically yeah, And you.
Speaker 2: Can feel them cutting into your face.
Speaker 3: And the sensation of like this. Okay, let's move on.
Speaker 2: I know. And so I have had a few concerned
Speaker 2: folk from so we're recording this Saturday ABO four minutes
Speaker 2: past to a few a few people from Bendigo because
Speaker 2: I'm heading up to the thriving metropolis of Bendigo, New York, London, Paris, Munich, Bendigo.
Speaker 2: I'm heading up there. Well, clearly I love Bendigo because
Speaker 2: I'm going I'm heading up up there tomorrow tomorrow afternoon,
Speaker 2: two to five. So if you hear this in the
Speaker 2: morning and you're living in the Bendigo region and you
Speaker 2: want to rock along at two o'clock for a little
Speaker 2: bit of info, inspo and ed Joe, get the fuck along,
Speaker 2: just go to the website. But I've had about three
Speaker 2: emails from people going, oh my god, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: are you still coming to Bendy Go? Are you okay?
Speaker 2: I'll be there. I might be fucking dribbling on my chest,
Speaker 2: but I might be eating a steak through a straw
Speaker 2: and fucking handorrhaging down the right side of my chin,
Speaker 2: but I'll be there.
Speaker 3: The good people of Gippsland are on the verge of
Speaker 3: rioting for you to come down and do something down
Speaker 3: there too. By the way, you haven't seen that happening online.
Speaker 3: There's almost a riot in Gippsland to petition you to
Speaker 3: come your land. Mate.
Speaker 2: I do not know what you're talking about. I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm hearing you, But what what am I missing? What?
Speaker 2: What do I need to There's probably a terrible time
Speaker 2: to do it, the.
Speaker 3: Tour of your there's people in Gippsland that are wondering
Speaker 3: why they've been left in the left in the lurch
Speaker 3: and not included in this.
Speaker 2: Well. Yeah, I mean last time I did one in
Speaker 2: more Well, which just out of more Well in Churchill,
Speaker 2: in fact, at the university there, which is all fuck,
Speaker 2: I forget the name of it? Is it Endeavor? Is it?
Speaker 2: I forget? I think it's I don't know. Can you
Speaker 2: google it for me because they'll get mad at me.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't know, but I do go to a lot
Speaker 2: of places and they had I think it was two
Speaker 2: hundred and forty seat room that we used and that
Speaker 2: was booked out and lovely audience, lovely group Churchill.
Speaker 1: What am I?
Speaker 3: What am I googling?
Speaker 2: Churchill University College, University Federation.
Speaker 3: That is it?
Speaker 2: Sorry? Sorry sorry, only been there once, but yeah, beautiful
Speaker 2: and beautiful union and beautiful little auditorium that we had
Speaker 2: access to. So I might head back up there. But
Speaker 2: it's been a while. It's been a while because of COVID.
Speaker 2: Obviously we didn't do any big public events at all.
Speaker 2: Tomorrow is not a particularly big event, but just I
Speaker 2: think like eighty people or so, just putting my toe
Speaker 2: back in the water, just opening the door. And then
Speaker 2: we've got a Melbourne one I don't know in a
Speaker 2: month or two, and then we're going to do I'm
Speaker 2: going to do something, then Brizzy and something, and we're
Speaker 2: just figuring it out. You know. It's like, it's really
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be talking about this, but fuck it, I'm
Speaker 2: going to talk about it. You know, what's interesting is
Speaker 2: fuck it, I'm just gonna I'm going to talk about it.
Speaker 2: What's interesting is on facie. In the old days, you
Speaker 2: and I may have spoken about this. But in the
Speaker 2: old days when we would run, say an event at
Speaker 2: Deacon University in Melbourne, obviously I go, I'm a student
Speaker 2: at Monash, but we started early days at Deacon. So
Speaker 2: they have a really nice lecture theater which is, as
Speaker 2: you've been too many times, six hundred and seventy people
Speaker 2: and with not too much trouble we would fill it
Speaker 2: and so we would advertise on Facebook. Now you would
Speaker 2: obviously they're not given that room away so you've got
Speaker 2: a great big auditorium for a whole day, we'll do
Speaker 2: the new Project conference. So and then you've got to advertise,
Speaker 2: you've got to get bums on seats, you know, and
Speaker 2: so there's there's not insignificant costs. But so we would
Speaker 2: sell tickets for a whole day. I think it would be,
Speaker 2: you know, like the retail price. You know how everyone does,
Speaker 2: oh the retail but if you get it now, it's
Speaker 2: all that bullshit, right, So I think the actual price
Speaker 2: was like one forty seven, but you'd never sell them
Speaker 2: for that, and you'd sell them for ninety seven bucks,
Speaker 2: which would go discount, and for that they'd get a
Speaker 2: whole day conference with eight awesome speakers. But then we
Speaker 2: would do the early bird at like seventy seven bucks. Right,
Speaker 2: So people are getting these tickets and you know, I
Speaker 2: can't be objective because it's my thing. So but as
Speaker 2: objective as I can be, seventy seven dollars for a
Speaker 2: whole day program with great speakers from all around Australia
Speaker 2: that are experts in their field. For me, that's a
Speaker 2: bit of a bargain, right, full day program. But what
Speaker 2: would happen is you would you'd sell the tickets through Facebook,
Speaker 2: so there's and you can do Facebook advertisements and in
Speaker 2: the old days now I'm not going to get it
Speaker 2: exactly right here, but you'd sell a seventy seven dollar
Speaker 2: ticket and Facebook would take seven to ten bucks, right,
Speaker 2: and you go, okay, that's not terrible, you know, and
Speaker 2: then you so then you might end up with say
Speaker 2: seventy or sixty seven dollars out of the ticket, and
Speaker 2: then out of that, you know, whatever is profit. You
Speaker 2: pay tax on that of course, and then you take
Speaker 2: out GST of course, and then you've got room, and
Speaker 2: then you've got you've got to pay all your speakers.
Speaker 2: So you've got seven times, you know, like it's thousands
Speaker 2: and thousands, right, and then at the end you go, yeah,
Speaker 2: we made a few bucks and people had a good day.
Speaker 2: And so you know what if you sell a seventy
Speaker 2: seven dollar ticket, now do you know what Facebook take?
Speaker 2: Give or take?
Speaker 3: How much?
Speaker 2: About fifty dollars about? I mean it varies. But last
Speaker 2: time we did it, which is why we went, oh,
Speaker 2: we need to rethink this. Like you end up doing
Speaker 2: this great big day and people like look around the
Speaker 2: room and they go this many people times this much money,
Speaker 2: you're killing it. Yeah, but it's you know, and I'm
Speaker 2: not looking or winting. It's just the reality. So, I mean,
Speaker 2: everything's evolving, and so even when you're running events now
Speaker 2: you need to figure out how do we do this
Speaker 2: in a way which is like you're never going to well,
Speaker 2: I'm never going to get rich from running events, but
Speaker 2: that's not my plan. But I just like running events
Speaker 2: where hopefully everybody has a good time. We can be
Speaker 2: respectful of our speakers and pay them what they are
Speaker 2: worth and also make a few dollars, you know, because
Speaker 2: she's got a lot of trouble will to run this event.
Speaker 2: So the landscape has really changed, and that is why,
Speaker 2: you know, that's partly why even doing like rural stuff
Speaker 2: I liked, where venues are not so expensive, people are
Speaker 2: more some of them are more appreciative because they go, wow,
Speaker 2: thanks for coming to Bendigo or thanks for coming to
Speaker 2: more Well or Ballorado wherever it is. Yeah, anyway, so
Speaker 2: that's it's, you know, nothing stays the same, especially when
Speaker 2: it comes to like business.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what frustrates me the very most with social media,
Speaker 3: and I don't know, probably again despite myself I just
Speaker 3: don't engage with trying to learn and figure it all
Speaker 3: out far out your very bruise when you lift your
Speaker 3: head up. Oh my goodness, have you seen that angle?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 3: Not very black.
Speaker 2: I don't want to look too much. I feel looking
Speaker 2: at that, I'm meant to be icing it, but I haven't,
Speaker 2: but I should. I forget, forget, and then I'm in
Speaker 2: bed and I'm like, I was meant to ice today.
Speaker 2: It's a bit swollen and its bit black, I know,
Speaker 2: and I forget. And I went over before to get
Speaker 2: a coffee and I forgot that. I literally look like
Speaker 2: I've had a fucking car accident or something. And the poor,
Speaker 2: the poor young lady who would be nineteen years old
Speaker 2: at the cafe, she was looking at me in horror,
Speaker 2: and I was thinking, what is she looking at me
Speaker 2: like that?
Speaker 1: Poor?
Speaker 2: She goes, I go, could I get her? And she's
Speaker 2: looking at me and she goes, what are you okay?
Speaker 2: Like she's like what happened? I went, oh, yeah, my face,
Speaker 2: I go, No, I'm good, No, I'm good. I go.
Speaker 2: I know it looks fucking terrifying, but I'm good. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I know anyway, because.
Speaker 3: Because I've got fear of missing out syndrome, and I
Speaker 3: won't be in Bendio. And I haven't been to your
Speaker 3: events for a long time because it's been so long.
Speaker 3: Are they the same? Have they changed?
Speaker 1: What's this one?
Speaker 2: There's a bit of well, since I've done this kind
Speaker 2: of public, you know, with more than a few people,
Speaker 2: it's been it's probably been five years, because twenty nineteen
Speaker 2: into twenty nineteen, the end of twenty nineteen, we did
Speaker 2: our last typ conference. Do you a project conference twenty nineteen? Yeah,
Speaker 2: because remember COVID started late twenty nineteen, early twenty twenty.
Speaker 2: I feel what we.
Speaker 3: Did one since COVID we did one because I'm me
Speaker 3: at Mark labasket one that we did you did one?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we did do no, but not recently like we
Speaker 2: did do one. Yeah, I think maybe it was early
Speaker 2: twenty twenty. I'm not sure, but it was a good
Speaker 2: four anyway, four years ago at least.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So yeah, so I've opened the door again. And what's
Speaker 2: been good is like in the last four or five years,
Speaker 2: I've been a whole lot of new stuff and doing
Speaker 2: my research and you know, opening opening a whole lot
Speaker 2: of new doors. And so yeah, we're going to revisit
Speaker 2: some older stuff, but also like the the theme of
Speaker 2: the you know, the title theme, you know focus is
Speaker 2: on understanding. It's called understanding you. And so I think
Speaker 2: the ongoing you know project for all of us is,
Speaker 2: among other things, is trying to understand ourselves, like why
Speaker 2: do I do the things that I do? You know?
Speaker 2: All this, you know, like why do what? And the
Speaker 2: you know, my focus? What is it like being around me?
Speaker 2: What is the Craig experience like for others? Why does
Speaker 2: that matter? How does TIF think theory of mind? Does
Speaker 2: it matter that I try to not agree with or
Speaker 2: not align with? But does it matter that I understand
Speaker 2: how TIF thinks? Does it matter that I, you know,
Speaker 2: all that metacognitive curiosity? Does it matter that I try
Speaker 2: to understand? And why I think the way that I do?
Speaker 2: Why do I have the relationship with my body that
Speaker 2: I do? And you know, specific to you, why do
Speaker 2: I keep picking shit blokes? You know, like we were
Speaker 2: joking about the other day, It's like why do I
Speaker 2: you know, and it could even be for me like
Speaker 2: why am I commitment phobic? I'm kind of not, but
Speaker 2: kind of am you know? What is that about? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So it's just getting like we're just opening the door
Speaker 2: on this idea of trying to be more in touch
Speaker 2: with our beliefs, our ideas, our own mind, trying to
Speaker 2: understand why do I keep doing things that don't work?
Speaker 2: You know, what is success for me? What is failure
Speaker 2: for me? Why am I scared of that thing? What
Speaker 2: is that fear about? And do I need to like
Speaker 2: Because obviously some fears are very valid and they'll keep
Speaker 2: you safe, and then other fears will actually fuck up
Speaker 2: your life and derail your potential. And it's knowing which
Speaker 2: are the ones that I need to step into or
Speaker 2: lean into. I guess even like the idea of trying
Speaker 2: to understand your own potential. Like I'm fascinated with I'm
Speaker 2: not fascinated with talented people. I'm fascinated with what we
Speaker 2: can do with the talent that we do have. Like
Speaker 2: I've said too many times, but you know, one of
Speaker 2: the reasons I'm fascinated with potential is because I don't
Speaker 2: think I innately have a huge amount of potential. I
Speaker 2: probably have an average amount, whatever the fuck that means.
Speaker 2: But I think because I've consistently been curious and I've
Speaker 2: been prepared to roll up my sleeves and get uncomfortable
Speaker 2: and fall down and fuck up and be embarrassed and
Speaker 2: do podcasts that didn't work, and then try another one
Speaker 2: that didn't work, and then eventually try this one and
Speaker 2: then do six hundred episodes and lose money and then
Speaker 2: but keep going. Then eventually you know, all that kind
Speaker 2: of you know, being the fat kid that ended up
Speaker 2: not being the fat kid anymore, and that process and
Speaker 2: that journey, and then being surrounded by you know, often
Speaker 2: being surrounded by people who I recognize, or at least
Speaker 2: believe to be more talented than me, more genetically gifted,
Speaker 2: more inherently intelligent or whatever, but all the while wasting
Speaker 2: what they've got. So you know, I mean, it's really
Speaker 2: about so for me, this workshop or even this idea
Speaker 2: of understanding you or understanding ourselves is trying to recognize
Speaker 2: what we're doing that's working and what we're doing that's not,
Speaker 2: and then I guess, you know, figuring out if we
Speaker 2: really genuinely want to be the self help spectator or
Speaker 2: the person that actually gets in and has a crack,
Speaker 2: you know, and just takes chances and does work and
Speaker 2: gets uncomfortable and climbs the Mountain.
Speaker 3: Is there anything that specifically is there one big thing
Speaker 3: that you have in this exact space and what you
Speaker 3: talk about and share. Is there anything that's that's chained
Speaker 3: a way that you used to believe or perceive something
Speaker 3: or talk about something that now you have Do you
Speaker 3: understand differently or have a different stance.
Speaker 2: On Yeah, one, I guess a few things. But one
Speaker 2: thing that sprung to mind when you were asking that
Speaker 2: was I used to be I used to be a
Speaker 2: lot more hesitant to be truly vulnerable with an audience,
Speaker 2: like to be to actually, you know, I think I
Speaker 2: think it's very common for people to be like almost
Speaker 2: fraudulently vulnerable, where they're acting vulnerable but they're not really.
Speaker 2: It's kind of a their kind of role playing vulnerability,
Speaker 2: you know. But when I say things that about myself
Speaker 2: that aren't good, things that like, this is not a
Speaker 2: greg this is not an asset, this is not this
Speaker 2: is not a good quality, or this is not a
Speaker 2: good you know. But I think when you say, you know,
Speaker 2: when I say that, I'm I still do stuff which
Speaker 2: is really out of ego. You know. Still now today,
Speaker 2: I still am insensitive at times. I still want to
Speaker 2: be the smartest in the room at times, you know,
Speaker 2: not all the time. But I recognize these things about
Speaker 2: me that I don't like, and I work on them.
Speaker 2: And I don't want self pity and I don't want
Speaker 2: a round of applause, and I don't need a slap
Speaker 2: on the back. And if I do need all of
Speaker 2: those things, well then I'm just creating another problem and
Speaker 2: another addiction.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: But I think I've learned over the last five years
Speaker 2: in a really experiential way that you know, the more
Speaker 2: even I think some of the I think you and
Speaker 2: I are having more raw and real conversations in the
Speaker 2: last three six months, and we've been doing a version
Speaker 2: of this for years now, and I think that like
Speaker 2: we get more and more positive feedback. And it's not
Speaker 2: because oh wow, it's it's so much more polished, or
Speaker 2: you know, the sound is great, or or as fuck,
Speaker 2: what a mind blowing topic, or I think it's just
Speaker 2: you know, to a point anyway, the more that I'm
Speaker 2: real and raw and vulnerable and honest, and you know,
Speaker 2: I can acknowledge that I've done some good things and
Speaker 2: acknowledge that I've done some shit things, and that I'm
Speaker 2: a work in progress, and then I think that, as
Speaker 2: I've said before, that getting closer to that, you know,
Speaker 2: almost that personal, you know, not the public and not
Speaker 2: the sorry, not the personal, but maybe the private version
Speaker 2: of you where you can just I think there's I
Speaker 2: think it's empowering for others when someone that they perhaps
Speaker 2: trust or respect talks about their own bullshit, because then
Speaker 2: we think, ah, Okay, so he ain't really special, which
Speaker 2: I'm not. He ain't that special, but nonetheless he's doing
Speaker 2: some cool things. Maybe I can do some cool things too.
Speaker 2: Maybe I could build a business or brand, or do
Speaker 2: a course, or fix my problems or overcome my addiction
Speaker 2: or have a great relationship or you know, overcome my
Speaker 2: self limiting beliefs or whatever it is, you know, And
Speaker 2: for me, that, yeah, that I think that vulnerability is
Speaker 2: a gift for yourself, and at times I think it's
Speaker 2: a gift for others, depending on who's listening and where
Speaker 2: they're at.
Speaker 1: I love that, you know.
Speaker 2: So yeah, So anyway, that's the that's the new. I'm excited.
Speaker 2: I'm excited to get in front of a group again.
Speaker 2: I'm excited to you know. I did a gig the
Speaker 2: other day for Buxton, a real estate Mornington Peninsula, Buxton
Speaker 2: real Estate, and I don't know, just I don't know
Speaker 2: what it is, but I feel like there's been a
Speaker 2: This sounds weird, but there's been a shift lately. I
Speaker 2: told you I've never had a standing ovation in my life,
Speaker 2: and two weeks ago I had two in a week
Speaker 2: with two different groups. And I'm not saying that sound
Speaker 2: good because I'm more surprised than fucking anyone. But what
Speaker 2: I trust me, I'm like, what the fuck is standing for?
Speaker 2: I literally was? I literally was. I didn't know why,
Speaker 2: and then I went, oh, I must have done a
Speaker 2: good job, but I did, I did a I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's like it's almost like the less I prep, you know,
Speaker 2: I need to know what I'm going to do, but
Speaker 2: the less I prep and the less I perform right
Speaker 2: and then yeah, you know what I mean, Like this
Speaker 2: version of me right now, the more I can bring
Speaker 2: this version of me to a three hour workshop where
Speaker 2: it's really it's just more of a group conversation led
Speaker 2: by me, and of course I'm going to be the
Speaker 2: guy sharing the bulk of the thoughts and ideas and
Speaker 2: stories and strategies, but nonetheless really more a facilitator than
Speaker 2: a coach up the front barking kind of orders or directives,
Speaker 2: you know. But the other good thing in the middle
Speaker 2: of all of that is so much fucking easier, Like
Speaker 2: it's so much easier just going oh, you know, like ah.
Speaker 2: And then I did the gig like I said, for
Speaker 2: Bucks and the other day, and I just got the
Speaker 2: most beautiful message saying that. You know, I won't say
Speaker 2: what they said because I'll sound like a wanker, but
Speaker 2: just the nicest message ever.
Speaker 3: Do I think what do you think has contributed? What
Speaker 3: are the all of the things that might have contributed
Speaker 3: to that shift? In this overtime, I.
Speaker 2: Think I've accepted the fact more than ever that some
Speaker 2: people are going to really resonate with me and some
Speaker 2: are not. And it's okay, yeah, and this is going
Speaker 2: to sound silly, but okay, let me preface what I'm
Speaker 2: going to say with I want people to like me
Speaker 2: because I'm human and normal. However, I don't care as
Speaker 2: much as I used to about whether or not people
Speaker 2: like me. Yeah, because if my priority is whether or
Speaker 2: not people like me or being likable, then I can't
Speaker 2: do the best job because I've got the wrong goal.
Speaker 2: If my goal is to be the best person for
Speaker 2: the group, like, because I know that some of the
Speaker 2: things that you know, you get more than two people
Speaker 2: in a room where you're going to fucking ruffle feathers, right,
Speaker 2: So I know that I will say things that might
Speaker 2: not with some people in the room be comfortable for them,
Speaker 2: or what they want to hear might not be well received.
Speaker 2: But you've just got to accept that, you know, and
Speaker 2: and you know. More and more, I just go, look,
Speaker 2: I know that some people will you know, if the
Speaker 2: majority don't, then I'm barking up the wrong tree. But
Speaker 2: more and more, I'm just comfortable with people not liking me,
Speaker 2: although that's not my intentional goal. But you know, one
Speaker 2: of my lectures from university first time round a guy
Speaker 2: who played footy for sin Kilda and Richmond. His name
Speaker 2: is doctor Paul Callery, and he said to me. We
Speaker 2: were having a chat and he said, you know, mister Harper.
Speaker 2: He goes, if you don't want to offend anyone, then
Speaker 2: say nothing, do nothing, be nothing, and stand for nothing.
Speaker 2: And I went, oh, wow, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing,
Speaker 2: stand for nothing. He goes, that's the only way, and
Speaker 2: he goes and by the way, you'll still offend people
Speaker 2: because people look for reasons to get offended. You can
Speaker 2: have the best motives and tensions and whatever, and there's
Speaker 2: still somebody, you know. So yeah, so it's been. It's
Speaker 2: been an interesting journey of self discovery. And you know,
Speaker 2: you would hope that when you do a PhD in
Speaker 2: self awareness that you might get some along the way.
Speaker 2: You would hope that some of that research might rub
Speaker 2: off and that you might actually you might actually acknowledge
Speaker 2: and accept and you know, do something about some of
Speaker 2: your own bullshit as you try to bring other people's
Speaker 2: bullshit to their own attention, you know. So yeah, it's been. Yeah,
Speaker 2: well isn't it.
Speaker 3: You know, And it's quite divine when you think about
Speaker 3: your area of research. Started out wanting to look at
Speaker 3: motivation and you were you were I was about to
Speaker 3: saying the most motivated guy, but you were someone who
Speaker 3: who exercised what looks like motivation your whole life in
Speaker 3: and have trouble with that, and you've gone into a
Speaker 3: space that's actually allowed you to grow and develop in
Speaker 3: a different area.
Speaker 1: Yes, like how beautiful?
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you? And I think also, you know, I
Speaker 2: needed to and I probably didn't know I needed to,
Speaker 2: you know, I didn't. You know, it's like when you
Speaker 2: think you're right about stuff. I don't think I was
Speaker 2: overly arrogant because I always had like shit self esteem
Speaker 2: and imposter syndrome. But you know when you think you're right,
Speaker 2: like we all think we're right about certain things, to
Speaker 2: the point where it's like, oh no, I don't think
Speaker 2: I'm right. I fucking know I'm right now. You know,
Speaker 2: that's almost like the ultimate in I don't know, self
Speaker 2: belief arrogance. I don't know, maybe it's a blurry line there,
Speaker 2: but you know, there are things that I used to
Speaker 2: think that I absolutely, positive, positively, unequivocally I thought that
Speaker 2: Not only did I believe that, I thought I knew it.
Speaker 2: I thought, oh no, I know this to be No,
Speaker 2: this is not a this is not a belief, this
Speaker 2: is knowledge. But then over time I went on, no,
Speaker 2: I didn't know at all. I just thought I knew.
Speaker 2: It's like I thought I knew, and being able to
Speaker 2: be honest enough and brave enough, which I'm not always,
Speaker 2: but to change your mind about things, changing your mind
Speaker 2: saying I was wrong, not oh yeah, but but but
Speaker 2: oh no, not fuck all that just I was wrong
Speaker 2: the end, I was wrong, you were right the end.
Speaker 2: Or I don't know. I don't know. I wish I knew.
Speaker 2: I have an opinion, I have an idea, I have
Speaker 2: some thoughts, but I don't actually know, because people are scared,
Speaker 2: because people don't like the unknown. What do you think
Speaker 2: happens when we die, Craig, I mean that hundreds of
Speaker 2: times or a version of that, life, death, God, eternity,
Speaker 2: you know, blah blah, life after death. You know. I
Speaker 2: spent my life thinking about that. I spent my life
Speaker 2: in church, being taught, told, trained, programmed, educated, fucking manipulated
Speaker 2: coerce to believe a certain paradigm, to to intertwine my
Speaker 2: mind with a certain theology and philosophy. But when I
Speaker 2: step back now and I think about my thinking, I
Speaker 2: open the metacognitive door and I try to remove myself
Speaker 2: from the programming. The truth is I don't know. That's
Speaker 2: the truth. That's the uncomfortable truth. I don't know what.
Speaker 2: I don't know. If there's a god. I wish I
Speaker 2: could go, oh, I know there is, but I'd be lying.
Speaker 2: And anyone who says they know, well, I shouldn't say that.
Speaker 2: But to me it's like, well, if you know, then
Speaker 2: show me the evidence, and nobody's got evidence. If we
Speaker 2: had evidence and we have knowledge, then that would make
Speaker 2: faith redundant. And religion is all about faith, and it's okay.
Speaker 2: It's okay that you believe, and it's okay that I
Speaker 2: believe or don't believe, but it's like it's when it
Speaker 2: comes to certain things, we don't like not knowing. We
Speaker 2: don't like being out of control. We don't like the uncertainty,
Speaker 2: we don't like the unfamiliarity of ol. I spent my
Speaker 2: life believing this, and now I'm out here, which is
Speaker 2: why I absolutely fucking loved that book Unfollow that You'll
Speaker 2: have you? Where are you with that? Where are you
Speaker 2: up to?
Speaker 3: I've listened to most of it.
Speaker 2: I loved that book, and I've spoken about it before.
Speaker 2: But it's called Unfollow. It's by Megan Phelps Roper. Listen
Speaker 2: to it on audible if you want to listen to
Speaker 2: talk about somebody absolutely being heroically brave and challenging the
Speaker 2: cult that she grew up inwashing, the manipulation, the control.
Speaker 2: She is so brave, that woman, so brave, so evolved,
Speaker 2: so enlightened, like she inspired me that woman. She's fucking amazing.
Speaker 2: And apart from the fact that it's just a cracking story,
Speaker 2: like just the story, it's worth it listening. It's worth
Speaker 2: listening just for the story, but the magical insights in that,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, about the way that programming, manipulation, control, cognition, metacognition, culture. Family.
Speaker 2: Is so much great shit in there. It's like, that's
Speaker 2: like a PhD of the mind. Just that book.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Fuck, if you can listen to that, think about all
Speaker 2: of the myriad of brilliant messages in there, and the
Speaker 2: insights and the truth and the wisdom. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: it's one of the best books I've ever read. And
Speaker 2: I've read definitely more than a thousand books. It's like
Speaker 2: a fucking great book. And I don't know her everyone,
Speaker 2: and I'm not on the payroll.
Speaker 3: You probably should be.
Speaker 2: I probably should because I reckon. I've turned one hundred
Speaker 2: people onto it. So that's what I'm doing tomorrow. TIF.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: If you feel compelled, get in the car and come up.
Speaker 3: Go see Harps. See Uncle Harps.
Speaker 2: Yeah what about you though, you can do five months.
Speaker 3: I'm running a boxing workshop in Port Melbourne on Sunday.
Speaker 2: Now, old mate is going to get mad at me,
Speaker 2: and I apologize to him when I get our fhile. Remember,
Speaker 2: but you know, I always love opening the door for people, right.
Speaker 2: I love you, know, like you're wanted. Not that you
Speaker 2: would have got there anyway, but I think I helped
Speaker 2: you open the door a little bit, right because I
Speaker 2: recognize in you all the things you know, drive, courage, knowledge,
Speaker 2: good communication, and a desire to be you know, doing
Speaker 2: the things that you're now doing and more. And so
Speaker 2: in my own way, I kind of helped you along
Speaker 2: a little bit. And I love that where I can
Speaker 2: when I meet somebody and I think, oh wow, and
Speaker 2: then I open a door for them, and I don't
Speaker 2: like they take the opportunity just like you did. And
Speaker 2: then it's all about your work and your effort and
Speaker 2: your talent. So there was a young guy who used
Speaker 2: to think he still follows me. But last time I
Speaker 2: went to Bendigo was maybe twenty seventeen maybe, and I
Speaker 2: was kind of over via social media or via messaging,
Speaker 2: just helping him out. He was sending me. He sent
Speaker 2: me a thing going, oh, I want to be a
Speaker 2: stand up comic, and then it done a couple of gigs,
Speaker 2: a few open mics, and yeah, I mean I love
Speaker 2: stand up comedy and we you know, we're going back
Speaker 2: and forth. He sent me like a minute or two
Speaker 2: of his stand up and then a few photos, and
Speaker 2: I was encouraging him and he lived. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I actually think he lives down here. And I don't
Speaker 2: know why I have this idea, but last time I
Speaker 2: went to Bendigo and it was a really big group.
Speaker 2: Last time it was like three hundred, and I said
Speaker 2: to him, how would you like to do stand up
Speaker 2: to three hundred people? And he's like what? And so
Speaker 2: I gave him an invitation where he could come to
Speaker 2: Bendigo and I said, you can open for me, And
Speaker 2: I think I gave him like eight minutes, which is
Speaker 2: an eternity.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: When you're like somebody who's not a kind of recognized
Speaker 2: professional comic, they call them open micers. So you could
Speaker 2: be an open micer tonight. You could go and they'll go,
Speaker 2: here's two minutes, get up, do your best. Right. You're
Speaker 2: an open micer, you're just learning, you're practicing, and generally
Speaker 2: they're somewhere between shitthouse and not very good. Right but
Speaker 2: now and then you know you're building skill, you're getting time.
Speaker 2: So anyway, he came, he came, and he did. I
Speaker 2: can't remember. It was somewhere between five and eight minutes
Speaker 2: in front of three hundred people, and it was a
Speaker 2: very warm, proud. Yeah he didn't do awesome, but he
Speaker 2: definitely didn't crash and burn. He did for where he
Speaker 2: was at on his comedic journey, he did pretty well.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I just thought of that then while we're talking,
Speaker 2: I thought, yeah, it's so fun. It's fun to be
Speaker 2: able to do that for people.
Speaker 3: Oh, that'd be amazing. The thing with comedy is the
Speaker 3: delivery is actually everything, and the delivery is the thing
Speaker 3: that you are going to be the shittest at when
Speaker 3: you first start getting in front of audiences you've never
Speaker 3: been in front of before. Oh my god, I inge
Speaker 3: on Carl Barron. I think he's my favorite.
Speaker 1: Binge on him.
Speaker 3: I can watch the same jokes over and over and
Speaker 3: over and laugh every time, and I think to myself,
Speaker 3: if he didn't carry on the way he does, they're
Speaker 3: not funny words, No, it's just dumb mannerisms in his
Speaker 3: delivery and everything that's right, that's right.
Speaker 2: Here, here's a brilliant comic. And if you just if
Speaker 2: you didn't have his facial expressions, his energy, his physical humor,
Speaker 2: he's timing his delivery. But if you just looked at
Speaker 2: the words on twenty pages, you went, here's what he said,
Speaker 2: and you looked at it, you go, that's the unfunniest
Speaker 2: shit I've ever seen. But then you put then you
Speaker 2: wrap it around him, and it's fucking hilarious because he's hilarious.
Speaker 1: I love you so much.
Speaker 2: But when he talks about his old man, don't be
Speaker 2: a dickhead, kyl. Yeah, all right, I'm not sure we
Speaker 2: covered anything today, but that is okay, Tiffany and Cook.
Speaker 2: I'm going to put some ice on my face.
Speaker 1: You go on ice, that bad boy.
Speaker 2: Put my head in a sling. Thanks TIV, Thanks ups