Speaker 1: Yeah, wits Parkka, It's Mallet's Fundy. This is your show
Speaker 1: win our podcast for the week. Hello and giddy up
Speaker 1: shitty up here. We are coming in strong. Can I
Speaker 1: just say before we get started? I mean this has
Speaker 1: started obviously, but I have two front cap teeth, like
Speaker 1: yes over it was over twenty years ago. I got
Speaker 1: them capped right because my teeth I had braces. They
Speaker 1: ended up getting quite thin and a bit yellow. So
Speaker 1: they've shaved them right down into pixie teeth. And I've
Speaker 1: got these caps on and I think I can see
Speaker 1: one of them starting to come off, and I'm terrified.
Speaker 1: I just looked in the mirror and I can see
Speaker 1: it's a bit looks a bit like it's pulling off
Speaker 1: at the bottom mouth. I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess I've just got to go to
Speaker 1: the dentist, but I come.
Speaker 2: Here, I want to go to the dentist.
Speaker 1: Oh my, oh god, I'm so nervous. And also, Odie,
Speaker 1: my five year old, has the most beautiful, perfect white
Speaker 1: teeth and his two front ones have started to discolor.
Speaker 1: And I've looked it up and it's chalky teeth. There's
Speaker 1: no fucking fluoride in the water here in Byron, which
Speaker 1: I know people like you don't want flu ride in
Speaker 1: your water, but they also years and years ago to
Speaker 1: get the fluoride out. And I'm like, fucking, oh, my
Speaker 1: kid's teeth.
Speaker 2: Oh no, yeah, they're going like.
Speaker 1: A dark and I can't look at his beautiful face
Speaker 1: and all i can see is those teeth. I've got
Speaker 1: to take him to the He's been so scared to
Speaker 1: go to the dentist, but now he's I know, now
Speaker 1: he's five. I'm like, you're five, Now you got to
Speaker 1: go to the dentist. And I've rebbed him up from like,
Speaker 1: you know, six months before his birthday that the dentist
Speaker 1: is when you're five, pretty old to go the dentist.
Speaker 2: Is there a pediatric dentist.
Speaker 1: I can't be fucked with that. He can just apparently
Speaker 1: there's a really good female one who's just beautiful. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'll take him there, which reminds me I've
Speaker 1: got to book him in, so just do a note anyway.
Speaker 1: The other day I reposted this Dance and Them from
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety nine. It's like this couple or these two DJs,
Speaker 1: it to Will Mesh up and it's so fucking great.
Speaker 1: Every song it just takes me back to I used
Speaker 1: to go to the nightclub Twister all the time in Melbourne,
Speaker 1: and god, it took me back anyway. When I posted,
Speaker 1: everyone's like, is that Mail djying? The woman looks so
Speaker 1: much like you? Mallet's hilariously like, is that melon Mark DJing?
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, it's not, but I did want to
Speaker 1: play it. It isn't about I think about a minute
Speaker 1: or so long. But if you grew up in the
Speaker 1: nineties and went to clubs in the nineties, you will
Speaker 1: love this.
Speaker 3: Oh God, with this breezer in your hand, remember this one?
Speaker 2: So good?
Speaker 1: God, so Dad, I'm kidding.
Speaker 4: I'm like Cassel, I love this series and why I'm
Speaker 4: making example, well's wrong with you?
Speaker 2: I hated this song same.
Speaker 1: There's one more that might be the last time. Actually,
Speaker 1: oh god. I love it though, and they do a
Speaker 1: series of it and I just watched them the whole
Speaker 1: time and it takes me so back. And how I
Speaker 1: asked the owner of Twister Ugly if I could get
Speaker 1: a membership, and it was like a Felix the cab
Speaker 1: membership and mine was number sixty nine. Then it just took.
Speaker 1: You know when it's something, you hear something and it
Speaker 1: just your brain goes so quickly and it unravels to think,
Speaker 1: I think this is quite Melbourne. But do you remember
Speaker 1: Grant Smiley and John Course Massive gjs and Grant Smiley
Speaker 1: went out with Jemma Gornd from Big Baras who was
Speaker 1: in one of the Big brother and she started the
Speaker 1: off the shoulder, the lip gloss, the live costs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's in my pilates class now I'm like, oh me yes. Anyway,
Speaker 1: another thing it reminded me of was Channel V and
Speaker 1: how fucking epic Channel V was. And remember Jabber from
Speaker 1: Channel one of the original hosts. How long since you've
Speaker 1: heard that Jabber? And it was time Jabber Youmi Stein's
Speaker 1: and Osher Gunsberg who was Andrew g then And I
Speaker 1: remember they put a call out saying this was like
Speaker 1: a couple of years into Channel V, do you want
Speaker 1: to be a host and like a VJ DJ. And
Speaker 1: I borrowed somebody's cam quarter and I took a video
Speaker 1: of myself and I had a picture of Justin Tim
Speaker 1: Blake on my wall this is so embarrassing, And I
Speaker 1: filmed myself pretending to interview Justin tim Blake.
Speaker 2: Hang on, this is it's not the pretending to interview
Speaker 2: in it because it's actually quite smart. It's actually quite
Speaker 2: smart I think. But did you just have a picture
Speaker 2: of Justin tim Blake on your wall? Like you actually did?
Speaker 2: I love? That's what I'm judging you for. Like yeah,
Speaker 2: and I was, I was like twenty, I'm repulsed by
Speaker 2: Justin tim Blake. I found I am he No, even
Speaker 2: back then, he I've never gone for that guy. I
Speaker 2: never got that.
Speaker 1: Because he could music was great and he could dance.
Speaker 1: Also love him yeah great with music was great. I
Speaker 1: really I don't know. I don't know, though. I don't
Speaker 1: think I loved him enough to have a poster on
Speaker 1: my own.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Maybe you just clipped it out of the TV week
Speaker 2: the poster in the middle, remember, and you'd open it up.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, no, no no no, it was a proper bought one.
Speaker 1: It wasn't a smash HiT's. But I also remember friends
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say who, but friends in radio
Speaker 1: interviewed him and he was a real dick, like yeah,
Speaker 1: I can imagine they played a game with him and
Speaker 1: he was crazy competitive, like not cool. So anytime I
Speaker 1: say he and Jimmy Fallon together, I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 1: think you guys are knobs like he and Jimmy Fallon
Speaker 1: always do dance stuff. But I don't think they're cool. Nah,
Speaker 1: I think they're like arrogant, like competitive, would think each
Speaker 1: other's funny, but would be a bit exclusive and rude.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so too. I definitely get that vibe,
Speaker 2: you know when you were talking about when you're playing
Speaker 2: those songs and that like, oh, you know, going out
Speaker 2: to a night club or whatever. I think the thing
Speaker 2: was like the excitement of maybe you'd go out and
Speaker 2: you just never knew what was going to happen. Oh,
Speaker 2: like the possibilities. Are you going to meet someone, Are
Speaker 2: you gonna just have a great night, are you gonna
Speaker 2: are you gonna pick up?
Speaker 1: Exactly? And that was what I was so desperate to
Speaker 1: always do but never did. But I was at my
Speaker 1: friend's house the other day and we were just laying
Speaker 1: on the couch and it got to like eight o'clock
Speaker 1: and I said it was a Saturday, And I said,
Speaker 1: this was using around and just looking at the time,
Speaker 1: going when should we start getting ready? We'll head out
Speaker 1: about ten. I imagine leaving the house out late.
Speaker 2: Now, Oh see, I could still it early. Told you're such,
Speaker 2: that's still my timeline.
Speaker 1: You couldn't. You couldn't do it and have been in
Speaker 1: bed for literally an hour and a half by ten o'clock.
Speaker 2: Literally, No, but I.
Speaker 1: The other episode, you said I saw something and I
Speaker 1: went and told market. Twelve thirty. So what time does
Speaker 1: he go to bed?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he goes to bed late too. Yeah, it's not Look,
Speaker 2: it's not good. I'm gonna try and I'm really gonna
Speaker 2: have to try and work on that because I'm scared
Speaker 2: of the dementia stuff. I'm scared of all the.
Speaker 1: You go to bed insanely late that it takes years
Speaker 1: off your life. It's like doing a shift. It's like
Speaker 1: you do you know, It's like they say when people
Speaker 1: do night shift, takes years off your life.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: I mean I did use to sleep a lot when
Speaker 2: I was younger. Maybe I hope that's compensating, but of
Speaker 2: course it doesn't. I know, I know. It's it's like
Speaker 2: self destructive behavior. Like when you're doing it, you know
Speaker 2: you shouldn't be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should go to dog. No, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to bed because you must get so much more done
Speaker 1: in your day though.
Speaker 2: Well, no, because a lot of the time when it
Speaker 2: gets to a certain point and I'll go, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm shutting the laptop now or whatever. It's not that
Speaker 2: I shut the laptop, it's that I go, Okay, I'm
Speaker 2: not working anymore. Oh, but I haven't had any time
Speaker 2: for me. Yes, so now I'm going to look at
Speaker 2: some shit I want to And then my brain is
Speaker 2: so overactive and stimulated that I can't. I can't switch off.
Speaker 1: How many hours of sleep do you charge off a day?
Speaker 1: Like fuck?
Speaker 2: It depends I reckon on averages probably around I would
Speaker 2: be so sick. It's not good. It's not yeah, And
Speaker 2: it's not like I don't even say it, like you know,
Speaker 2: people like heroes like, oh I can function on that.
Speaker 2: I actually can't because my productivity is probably shit. My
Speaker 2: brain's foggy all the time.
Speaker 1: Would I remember Snoop Dogg And I don't know if
Speaker 1: he still does it, but has a different sleeping pattern
Speaker 1: where he like sleeps twenty minute incrementals or something like that.
Speaker 1: Have you heard that?
Speaker 2: It's like that episode of Seinfeld Da Vinci Sleep or whatever.
Speaker 2: You sleep for twenty minutes at a time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was I remember Snoop Dogg terrible hell, because
Speaker 1: you just drop into a deep sleep and then to
Speaker 1: be like all right, get up, and then you'd have
Speaker 1: to get a bit like you'd have a lot of
Speaker 1: breakfasts for starts. But then you got to go all right, well,
Speaker 1: I've got two hours to go and do something, and
Speaker 1: then I've got to go back to sleep for twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: It's very strange.
Speaker 2: Yeah, napping is is the word discombobulating, I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, but you know this combobulating is a good word. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you wake up and it's like you wake up
Speaker 2: in a panic. Oh my god, I've been sleeping for
Speaker 2: and it's been like fifteen minutes. You've gone in hard.
Speaker 2: Or then sometimes you like open your eyes and think,
Speaker 2: oh look at the time, Oh my god, it's been.
Speaker 1: Three There's no in between. No, I know, I'm totally
Speaker 1: the same. I used to be the world's best daytime napper,
Speaker 1: and I do need to. I'm one of those people
Speaker 1: that needs a nap every day. Yeah, I'm so exhausted,
Speaker 1: but I lay down and I cannot nap anymore. And
Speaker 1: it's a form of torture. I just lay there I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: if I had a twenty minute nap, I'd be happy
Speaker 1: as Larry. But I'm just fucked now. I have to
Speaker 1: just lay here and pretend to sleep. It's not funny
Speaker 1: that we pretend to sleep to fall asleep.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I read a meme about that the other
Speaker 2: day and they were saying like, if you want to
Speaker 2: achieve shit, you want to achieve, remember that to get
Speaker 2: to sleep, you have to pretend to be asleep. So
Speaker 2: pretend to be what you want to be and eventually
Speaker 2: it'll come.
Speaker 1: That's a good idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it hasn't worked me yet. I'm just spending money
Speaker 2: like London, Yeah, totally. You know. I like listening and
Speaker 2: looking at weird things. Not weird. That sounds horrible When
Speaker 2: I say normal, I mean typical. I just don't. Fuck
Speaker 2: I know, it's just I'm like this, we need a
Speaker 2: new word for it.
Speaker 1: No, it's not. I mean what's normal? Yeah, okay, standard,
Speaker 1: what's normal? We all know what's on the normal scale
Speaker 1: and what's not.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, well, I listened to a podcast about Only
Speaker 2: Fans creator who has two vaginas and eats fascinating. When
Speaker 2: I say two vaginas, what do you imagine in your head,
Speaker 2: I imagine one hole with like two tunnels. Oh, that's
Speaker 2: exactly what it is. I imagine two openings, two vaginal openings
Speaker 2: from the outside, so one at the front, one at
Speaker 2: the back or side by side or whatever, so there's like.
Speaker 1: Side by side. It would be hard because it'd go
Speaker 1: into your hips almost.
Speaker 2: Well when you look that, it's two, you know, like
Speaker 2: two you can see the holes on the outside, right,
Speaker 2: But that's not what it is.
Speaker 1: It is two pathways, right.
Speaker 2: It is. She said she didn't even know she had
Speaker 2: this until she had really really bad, bad period pain
Speaker 2: and someone had told her she was sixteen, and someone
Speaker 2: had told her, oh, apparently marinas are really good for that.
Speaker 2: So she went and saw a doctor and the doctor
Speaker 2: went to insert the marina and then like, I don't
Speaker 2: know what is going on here, but there's an obstruction.
Speaker 2: We can't figure it out because it is exactly that
Speaker 2: there's hole. So from the outside it looks typical, but
Speaker 2: it's like a fork in the road.
Speaker 1: It forks off it.
Speaker 2: It's like a nostral like a nose.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what happens does like the penis hit the
Speaker 1: mid nostril bit because like how do how does the
Speaker 1: penis or the marina find the path? Do you do
Speaker 1: you go in and hit a roadblock straight away? Or
Speaker 1: like do you have to bend stuff to get it
Speaker 1: into the park? I think it would have to be
Speaker 1: guided in. So she's a TikTok, she's a only fan star,
Speaker 1: so it's obviously there is definitely a way that you
Speaker 1: can do it.
Speaker 2: I think she's doing mostly alone stuff, I don't know,
Speaker 2: or collapse with maybe other women or whatever. But she
Speaker 2: said her highest she's made over two million dollars already.
Speaker 2: She said her highest rated video is basically she used
Speaker 2: a speculum, so you know, like when you get a
Speaker 2: pasmea and with the camera there showing like what her
Speaker 2: body's like on the inside, and I'm like, I would
Speaker 2: watch that too, fascinated. Right.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But the thing is that she has been diagnosed with
Speaker 2: this thing called uterus didelphus, right, and there are three
Speaker 2: levels of it. So one is that you just have
Speaker 2: two uteruses, the other actually uteri.
Speaker 1: Yet so two is utere i? Yess, one should be
Speaker 1: uterie and two should be uterous.
Speaker 2: No, it's the other way around. It's like dice and die. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, but dice is dice is the plan,
Speaker 2: isn't it?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: No, die is one dice is too, so yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I get throw the dice, and usually it's two dice,
Speaker 1: isn't it. Yeah. I would be embarrassed if somebody said
Speaker 1: throw the die, wouldn't Yeah.
Speaker 2: I would be embarrassed too, it is yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2: But anyway, the second level is too uteri and two
Speaker 2: cervix hers is the most rare. So she has two uterus.
Speaker 2: I can't say you to write two uteruses, two cervix yeah,
Speaker 2: and two vaginas, right, Only zero point three percent of
Speaker 2: women in the world's population have it. And she said
Speaker 2: that she can orgasm out of both. So it's like
Speaker 2: if half one hole is being penetrated, she can have
Speaker 2: an orgasm and then he can go to the next
Speaker 2: side and she'll have another. Yeap, it makes getting pregnant
Speaker 2: more difficult. But this is the thing that really fascinated me.
Speaker 1: And how would you have it? You wouldn't be able
Speaker 1: to have vaginal birth. We'd have to have a C section.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd say, you'd have to. And like the people
Speaker 2: were asking her about, like do you bleed from both?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2: And she said typically she does, it's just not a
Speaker 2: really heavy flow. Sometimes she doesn't, but usually she'll bleed
Speaker 2: from both. But they were asking her to, like with
Speaker 2: this stuff, do you ever have two things in it once?
Speaker 2: And she said, yes, but it's like it's very full,
Speaker 2: as you could imagine, so full you have to get
Speaker 2: two things in the opening in the opening like which
Speaker 2: is I can imagine that would be painful. But she said,
Speaker 2: because they were talking about having children and stuff, and
Speaker 2: she said that a woman who has her condition contacted
Speaker 2: her and said that she got pregnant to two sets
Speaker 2: of twins at the same time. And I thought, I
Speaker 2: wonder if this is true, so of course I googled it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. In December twenty twenty three, her name
Speaker 2: was Kelsey Hatcher. She lived in Alabama. She had this
Speaker 2: same condition. It's a one in fifty million occurrence.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: She gave birth to on that over two days. She
Speaker 2: had to give birth to twins. She carried simultaneously in
Speaker 2: both of her uteruses. Imagine having twins like so one
Speaker 2: site like exactly what it.
Speaker 1: Is, two sets of times all of that's how and
Speaker 1: going from no kids to four and then like, my
Speaker 1: all of it is, Like, I know, that's the least
Speaker 1: fascinating part of the whole story is before is. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, imagine going from none to four.
Speaker 2: Imagine how uncomfortable I think carrying one child? Like, I
Speaker 2: didn't really enjoy pregnancy at all. I found it really uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Imagine four.
Speaker 1: I was remember the octomum, she had fucking eight kids
Speaker 1: in there. God, that's that was wild.
Speaker 2: God, imagine your skin after.
Speaker 1: Why, ah, you'd have to I think she's it'd be
Speaker 1: a hot mess. But imagine going from none to eight?
Speaker 1: Oh remember yuck?
Speaker 2: Remember John and Kate plus eight? Yes, she was such
Speaker 2: a cow to him too. Yeah, I know, but he
Speaker 2: was a little weasel too. They were they were They
Speaker 2: were a problem, those two. But the hosts also asked
Speaker 2: her this question. They said, have you named them? Like,
Speaker 2: do they have names? Her passages? Yeah, And she said no,
Speaker 2: but she's named her boobs. I was like, and I thought, oh,
Speaker 2: I wonder if I had to name my boobs, what
Speaker 2: i'd call them? I don't can't with anything yet, but
Speaker 2: I can't remember. It was like roxy and whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't know, But.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not going to say anything about that anyway.
Speaker 2: I was just thinking about then that time in our
Speaker 2: lives were used to name everything, like my car had
Speaker 2: a name.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what was your car's name?
Speaker 2: Alsa? Like from Home and Away, Elf Stewart's wife Alsa,
Speaker 2: I do you say Aulsa?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: I get confused because I think of it in my
Speaker 2: head how it's spelt. And the only other way you
Speaker 2: say is elsa, the way elsa elsa To me, it's
Speaker 2: say it's not it's a. I l s a, which
Speaker 2: is why I see al and I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, ah, and how elsa and how else? I interviewed
Speaker 1: him and he was lovely. I feel like after we
Speaker 1: mentioned anyone, I say, I interviewed him, but he was
Speaker 1: super lovely. And he was with Aida Nicodemu. I've told
Speaker 1: you this story, haven't I.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: It was with Ryan and Whippa and we went we
Speaker 1: had to go somewhere to interview them, and we were like, okay,
Speaker 1: so what are we going to ask them? Like we
Speaker 1: just were chatting, you know, down waiting before we went,
Speaker 1: and then it just became the fucking biggest thing. And
Speaker 1: it was still to this day. Ryan's like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to ask Aida Nicodemu if she's an emu? And that
Speaker 1: was it. I fucking so from then on, you know,
Speaker 1: and something so tiny sticks and it's like, aid, Nicodemu,
Speaker 1: are you an emu? And that was our thing? It's
Speaker 1: so weird.
Speaker 2: I was she able to laugh at that? Now you
Speaker 2: probably canceled. I thought you're saying asked her like a joke,
Speaker 2: And I was.
Speaker 1: Like, did she take it?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: It would be even weirder than you when you're with
Speaker 1: your friends and then somebody says something and then it sticks.
Speaker 1: It's something for years and years and years. Like if
Speaker 1: I was to message Ryan right now and say Aida Nikodimu,
Speaker 1: are you and emu? He would be like he would
Speaker 1: get it straight away.
Speaker 2: You know what is interesting to me? I think about
Speaker 2: like all the questions. I could think of so many
Speaker 2: questions to ask people. And I remember I remember Chrissy
Speaker 2: Swan's brick for show with Jonathan brown and sampagn Sampaign Yes,
Speaker 2: and how Brownie always asked the same question, how.
Speaker 1: Do you how do you remember your lines? Yeah? That
Speaker 1: is such a question because they used to make it
Speaker 1: as a joke, like he's got a dumb question to
Speaker 1: ask and I'm like, I'm constantly like that. It's like,
Speaker 1: how do you remember your lines? I'm fascinated.
Speaker 2: You know what I would want to know from Alf Stewart?
Speaker 2: Did he bring in the flame and hallem? Yeah? How
Speaker 2: much of it is that just naturally happen? How much
Speaker 2: of it is?
Speaker 1: What do they call it? A lived?
Speaker 2: Or or I lived?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Because I love it when improvised. I stumbled across
Speaker 1: the other day Melissa McCarthy and with I forget two
Speaker 1: other actors, but Jason Bateman or somebody like that, and
Speaker 1: just the improvising that they do, and they just try
Speaker 1: so hard to crack each other up, and it's so
Speaker 1: brilliant to watch because each time they press record, she
Speaker 1: comes up with all these different things, so they never
Speaker 1: know what she's going to say. And I love it.
Speaker 1: You know that old school group of actors like Pharral
Speaker 1: and Will Farrell and Jason Bateman and all of them,
Speaker 1: where you know that they are just improvising the fuck
Speaker 1: out of it and it's so eppy, like they could
Speaker 1: never redo the lines that they did.
Speaker 2: Imagine having a brain like that.
Speaker 1: Oh so clever, God, so clever.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 1: I know what a joy Anyway, we're going to get
Speaker 1: out of here. Everybody. Thank you for listening to our podcast.
Speaker 1: As per usual, we're always tickled pink. What are you
Speaker 1: rubbing on your face? Have you got a blotting paper? Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I thought about that. Yeah, the day
Speaker 1: you used to get it from the body shop and
Speaker 1: stuff and it would block the oil off your face. Yep,
Speaker 1: that is so old school.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's because I keep seeing myself shiny in the monitor,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I look shiny.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I cannot believe you've got that.
Speaker 2: I've never used one before. I think it's a testosterone
Speaker 2: it's making me.
Speaker 1: I was so I'm really happy I got to see that.
Speaker 1: It was just a real blast from the plast I
Speaker 1: used to love it. And you'd put on those strips
Speaker 1: on your nose to pull your black heads out.
Speaker 2: Oh they're so bad for you. Don't ever use those.
Speaker 2: They're so bad for your skin.
Speaker 1: All right, thanks for listening, guys. We appreciate it. As usual,
Speaker 1: we love having you with us. But we'll chat to
Speaker 1: you soon.
Speaker 2: Let me use