1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:03,239 Speaker 1: Hi, guys, welcome to the JO justph Girls Hub. 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,359 Speaker 2: Long time I speak. We're doing a little dilemma series 3 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:11,400 Speaker 2: on Just for Girls, just to answer your dilemmas. We're 4 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 2: going to answer a few dilemmas to end off twenty 5 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:14,160 Speaker 2: twenty five. 6 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 1: It will be really nice, nice short. 7 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 2: Little EP so you guys can maybe drive to work 8 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 2: or maybe drive to your Christmas lunch listening to me 9 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 2: in your ears. I also want to acknowledge what has 10 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 2: been going on in Australia at the moment. 11 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,639 Speaker 1: As I'm recording this, it happened a few days ago. 12 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:33,560 Speaker 2: My heart breaks for every community involved, the Bondi community, 13 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 2: the Australian community, the Jewish community, the Muslim community, everyone 14 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 2: that has been affected, their families have been infected. My 15 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 2: heart absolutely breaks for all of you guys, and I 16 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,839 Speaker 2: don't think that anything I can say will make this 17 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 2: situation better, But I am thinking about you all. 18 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: My heart goes out to you, My prayers. 19 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 2: Are out to you, and there are so many resources 20 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 2: online to go donate support families that are in need, 21 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 2: and I just think, especially this time, more love needs 22 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 2: to go around for everyone. And my DM's also all 23 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 2: open if you need a little bit of loving this season, 24 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 2: and yeah, our hearts are all heavy in Australia at 25 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 2: the moment, so I don't want to go speaking about 26 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 2: people's dilemmas without acknowledging something bad that really happened. 27 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,039 Speaker 1: So just big love. 28 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 2: So we're diving straight into a few dilemmas and are 29 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 2: you going to read them out Blake? And I assume, yeah, 30 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 2: Blake's going to read them out to me. 31 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: And I have no clue what's going on. 32 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,399 Speaker 2: So this is my real reaction to some of the 33 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 2: silly things you guys might be doing. 34 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,959 Speaker 3: So hit me all right, this is a big ee, 35 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 3: so bear with me. Okay, hey girl, I need your 36 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 3: opinion on something. About a year and a half ago, 37 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,399 Speaker 3: me and my ex are four years broke up. It 38 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 3: was mutual, no cheating. We still loved each other, but 39 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 3: we just argued too much. Honestly, it was one of 40 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 3: the calmest breakups we could have possibly had until it 41 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 3: went to hell. Tiny town, same friend group, everyone knows 42 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 3: everyone's business. We were immature, reacting the rumors and overthinking everything, 43 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 3: Scared he'd move on, which made me push him further away. Meanwhile, 44 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 3: he listened to every lie about me and decided it 45 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 3: was easier to hate me than actually speak to me, 46 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,079 Speaker 3: and that would be fine if I didn't run into 47 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 3: him at least three times a week, either at local sports, 48 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 3: the pub, or even the shops. Nothing like trying to 49 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,839 Speaker 3: live your life with your ex pretending you're invisible wild house. 50 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 3: Someone who used to love you can suddenly act like 51 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,679 Speaker 3: your background noise, so my dilemma. Nearly two and a 52 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 3: half years later, him and his mates are still making 53 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 3: my life literal hell. They act like they're running a 54 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 3: full time gossip committee, seeing how they can make my 55 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 3: life miserable every time. I can't even hang out with 56 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,919 Speaker 3: my own friends when they're around because the energy is disgusting. 57 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 3: He tells every guy not to get with me, but 58 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 3: the second I find out one of my friends hooked 59 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 3: up with him, suddenly I'm the crazy ex. I wasn't 60 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 3: even mad at him, I was just pissed at my 61 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 3: friend lied, but he hears one version and treats it 62 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,919 Speaker 3: like gospel. I know the easy solution is to leave town, 63 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,640 Speaker 3: but I have a really good job here and would 64 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 3: be stupid to pass it up. So I've distanced myself 65 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 3: from that whole friend group and gotten closer to the 66 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 3: girls at my sports club, And honestly, I'm happier, but 67 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 3: it still stings that my whole life had to change 68 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 3: while he stayed comfortable. I lost a whole world and 69 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 3: had to build a new one, while he just gets 70 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,240 Speaker 3: to carry on like he's the main character. Even friends 71 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 3: I've had since primary school chose his side because they 72 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 3: didn't want to deal with him. It's pathetic. 73 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: I'm about to cry. 74 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 3: I felt this is really related to you. 75 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, first of all, I'm so sorry that you're going 76 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 2: through that that really really sucks, And like I can 77 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 2: completely empathize with you because I've had that same thing, 78 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 2: not with an X, and feeling ostracized and feeling like 79 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 2: people don't like you and people hate you and that 80 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 2: you're like the biggest talked about thing in the room 81 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 2: and everything fucking sucks, and like it destroyed my year. 82 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 2: So I can't imagine what you're doing in it that, 83 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 2: especially being your ex boyfriend. 84 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: Like that fucking sucks, bro, And. 85 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, the biggest thing, I'm like applying myself in 86 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 2: this situation in my context, and like maybe me describing 87 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,040 Speaker 2: what I have done can maybe help you. But the 88 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 2: biggest thing I have done is not fall to that 89 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 2: person's level, and I won't, bitch, I won't speak ill 90 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 2: about that person because karma will eventually hit someone and 91 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 2: you're you shouldn't be the person who does the karma. 92 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 2: And that's like the biggest thing that I like drive. Like, 93 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 2: my biggest thing is like whenever someone I hear that 94 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 2: that person's spoken about me or spoken ill about me, whoever, Like, 95 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 2: there's a lot of people that don't like me, and 96 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 2: that's okay, Like you're not going to be everyone's cup 97 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 2: of tea. 98 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,359 Speaker 1: But when I hear that someone that I would have 99 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: I could. 100 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 2: Have been close with back in the day speaks ill 101 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 2: about me, I'm not going to then fall to their 102 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 2: level and go, well, he did this and this and 103 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 2: this about me, because then you're falling to that level 104 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,839 Speaker 2: and you're just fueling it more, and then you get 105 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,679 Speaker 2: more and more involved in it, and then it becomes 106 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 2: your whole. I can promise you that sit does not 107 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 2: fucking matter. Like it doesn't matter. It's should be the 108 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,839 Speaker 2: least of your concerns. Yes, easier said than done, but 109 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,360 Speaker 2: like them speaking about you says a reflection upon them, 110 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 2: and if you're going to give them a reaction. You're 111 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,160 Speaker 2: going to feed into it. You're giving them what they 112 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 2: want because they know that it's affected you. If you 113 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 2: move on with your own life. If you hear let's 114 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:28,040 Speaker 2: call him David, If David's talking about you, you just 115 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 2: nod your head and smile and go, oh, of course 116 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,359 Speaker 2: he's saying that again, or like, well, that's so funny 117 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,800 Speaker 2: he's saying that again. Or you make a little remark 118 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 2: being like, yeah, of course he's still speaking about me, 119 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 2: Like he can't move on, Like you make like little 120 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 2: things to show that you're not affected by it. Yeah, 121 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 2: go cry on your pillow at home, because it fucking 122 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 2: sucks hearing people speak about you all the time. But 123 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 2: like you don't want to surround yourself with those people. 124 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 2: You said, it sucks that you've distanced yourself from those people, 125 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 2: But like then they're not your friends in the real place. 126 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: They don't have your back. 127 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:00,160 Speaker 2: Like I have found my true, genuine friendships and people 128 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 2: who have stood by my side. I'm so glad I 129 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 2: have a smaller circle, and like if I went out 130 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 2: with my friends, I know that those friends aren't gonna 131 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,599 Speaker 2: speak bad about me behind my back. And like, yeah, okay, 132 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 2: I've maybe lost a few friends on the way, but 133 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 2: like thank god, because I don't want to be in 134 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 2: a room where everyone's speaking about me behind my back. 135 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 2: Like you may feel ostracized from your own group, but 136 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 2: that's called growth. 137 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: You no longer aligned with yourself with them. 138 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 2: So it's all about changing your mindset instead of being 139 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 2: like pessimistic and negative about it, and like be optimistic 140 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:31,280 Speaker 2: about it and go, you know what, I've outgrown them. 141 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 2: I don't like, okay, the right person for me. And 142 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 2: if my future boyfriend's in this hometown, he's gonna have 143 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 2: my back, he's gonna like back me up, and he's 144 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,919 Speaker 2: not gonna care what David's saying, Like it doesn't matter, 145 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 2: Like that stuff shouldn't matter to people around you, and 146 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 2: like you just gotta keep on telling yourself in that 147 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 2: and like the more you tell yourself in a positive matter, 148 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 2: the more you rewrite your brain. But right now you're 149 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,719 Speaker 2: just stuck in a toxic cycle of going like everyone 150 00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 2: hates me, he's ruining my life. He doesn't like me, dude, 151 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 2: is he's doing this and this and this and that, 152 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 2: and like then you've like wired your. 153 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: Brain into a negative mindset. 154 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,040 Speaker 2: It's all about changing that being like, I'm so glad 155 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 2: I don't speak ill about him. I'm so glad I'm 156 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 2: over him that I don't have to spread rumors about him. 157 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 2: I'm so glad I don't have to bitch about him anymore. 158 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 2: And he's still doing that about me, which means he 159 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 2: hasn't moved on. And you changed mindset, and then you're 160 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 2: just honestly thrive. But yeah, that sucks, and I'm so 161 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 2: sorry that you're going through that. But I promise you 162 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 2: it's not the end of the world, even though it 163 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 2: feels like it. I don't know if I gave any 164 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 2: advice there, but that's my experience. 165 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 3: You fucking ate that up. Oh thanks, Okay now last Hey, 166 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 3: Sam loved the pod. Also just want to say thanks 167 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 3: so much for talking about your OCD. It's so nice 168 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 3: to hear someone talk about it. Here's my dilemma. I'm 169 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 3: twenty two years old and considering myself chronically single. I'm 170 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 3: talking no first kiss, no first date, no talking stages, 171 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 3: no romantic interests. Ever, most of the time, I'm fine 172 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 3: and I love my life, and I kind of forget 173 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,679 Speaker 3: that this isn't normal. I'm very hype independent now because 174 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 3: of this, and we'll just do everything on my own. 175 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 3: I just need advice on where to meet someone. I've 176 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 3: tried the apps and got zero matches, no exaggeration, and 177 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 3: I tried to be a going out girl and get 178 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 3: dressed up, but everyone went to my friends instead, and 179 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 3: it just doesn't align with me. 180 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 2: No girl. 181 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 3: I have my own hobbies and friends and do truly 182 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 3: love my life, but there is a part of me 183 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 3: that is so curious as to what I'm missing out on. 184 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 3: I find now that even when I'm on a walk 185 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 3: and a guy my age walks past, I look down 186 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 3: because I'm too afraid to make eye contact because I've 187 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 3: had no interaction with men that I don't know what 188 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,439 Speaker 3: I'm doing, and it makes me feel stupid because I'm 189 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,439 Speaker 3: twenty two and almost everyone else my age has had 190 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:45,079 Speaker 3: at least someone interested in them or had a talking stage, 191 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 3: and I can't help but feeling like it will never 192 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 3: happen for me. So basically I'm asking is if you 193 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 3: have any advice for where I can meet someone, because 194 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,959 Speaker 3: I've tried everything. 195 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 2: From one hyper independent girly to another. I just wanted 196 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 2: to say you're beautiful. Stop comparing yourself to other people. 197 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 2: Like everyone, there is. 198 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 1: No book in your twenties. 199 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:08,680 Speaker 2: Everyone there's gonna be a virgin at twenty two, there's 200 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 2: gonna be. 201 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: A person who slept with four hundred bodies. 202 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 2: Like, there's no right or wrong way of how you're 203 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 2: living your life, and comparison is the thief of joy. 204 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 2: So keep on telling yourself you're not doing anything wrong. 205 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,080 Speaker 2: You're not ugly, you're so beautiful. You sound like you 206 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 2: have the most perfect, beautiful personality. 207 00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: You have so much love to give. 208 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 2: You just need to take your time and like take 209 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,000 Speaker 2: your stress off it and stop putting so much pressure, 210 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 2: and like, once you do that, things will roll. I 211 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,959 Speaker 2: think at the moment, you're like, this hasn't happened. This 212 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 2: hasn't happened. I'm a failure. I'm not pretty enough, I'm 213 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 2: not good enough, Like no one wants me. That's not 214 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,079 Speaker 2: the truth. The right person will come around your corner. 215 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 2: Sometimes it just takes one person, and like it doesn't matter. 216 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 2: Don't stop comparing yourself to what your friends are doing. 217 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 2: Stop comparing yourself to your friends, Like on your night out, 218 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 2: if your friend's pulling four guys and you're pulling Nne. 219 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,080 Speaker 2: Don't think that you're not good enough because you didn't 220 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 2: pull anyone. That's not how the world works like that. 221 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 2: It doesn't work like that. And meeting people who's so 222 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,680 Speaker 2: hard in twenty twenty five, if you have no matches 223 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 2: on hinge again, there's like they're diabolical out there. So 224 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 2: you're literally not missing out on anything like relinquish or control. 225 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,319 Speaker 2: As a hyper independent person or a very independent person, 226 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 2: you like to have control of the situation. And something 227 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,959 Speaker 2: I've really really learned is like I moved out of 228 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 2: her home when I was twenty and ever since, like 229 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 2: my whole life, I've raised myself and just had to 230 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 2: do everything myself. 231 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: Let people do things for you. 232 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 2: And I think even in your friendships and even in 233 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,679 Speaker 2: platonic relationships, let people help you. 234 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,479 Speaker 1: And I think that that's when you'll start. 235 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:50,959 Speaker 2: To learn to open yourself up more to experiences, because 236 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 2: I think sometimes men can really struggle where to fit 237 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,840 Speaker 2: in in your life, especially if you haven't had a 238 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,960 Speaker 2: relationship and you haven't had talking stages, you don't really. 239 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 1: Understand how to let people in. 240 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 2: And men naturally like going back to the caveman days. 241 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:05,839 Speaker 1: If we're speaking about. 242 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 2: This is like men are naturally providers and they want 243 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 2: to know that they're providing for you, not financially and 244 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 2: everything like that in this age, like don't like that, 245 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 2: but like let them do things for you. Let them 246 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,320 Speaker 2: show that you're keen instead of you having control over 247 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 2: the situation all the time, and just be open. Do 248 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 2: little things of like instead of you walking by the street, 249 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 2: set yourself a goal in the day and be like 250 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 2: when I go to the coffee shop, I'm gonna smile 251 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,720 Speaker 2: at the cute guy in the cafe, and just like 252 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 2: be open and like do little things like that instead 253 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 2: of being like, oh, head down. If you see someone 254 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 2: at the supermarket, go and you walk past them in 255 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 2: the fucking meat section. 256 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 1: Hi, how are you? 257 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,200 Speaker 2: Like little things like that and like just like be 258 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 2: more open and just like open your heart and those 259 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,239 Speaker 2: things will attract to you. 260 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 1: Go to the pub. 261 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:54,079 Speaker 2: Don't go out, go to the pub, go to cafes, 262 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 2: go to like things that people congregate into areas that 263 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,199 Speaker 2: are like social instead of like don't go to the 264 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 2: like I don't know if you're from Alboun, but like, 265 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 2: don't go to the Amazon and expect to meet your husband, 266 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:08,679 Speaker 2: like go to steak night with your friends, Like get 267 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 2: a few people at steak. 268 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: Night, like run a walk club, walk club. 269 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 2: And all of those things. And I promise you, when 270 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 2: it's right, people will. But you just need to open 271 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,320 Speaker 2: your heart. So just be a little bit more receptive 272 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 2: to receiving. 273 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 1: Love because you deserve it. I don't know if that's anything. 274 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,960 Speaker 1: I really struggle to meet people. 275 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 2: But like again, like all my boyfriends I've kind of 276 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 2: met online or actually, but I've never met someone off. 277 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,080 Speaker 1: A dating app. 278 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 2: So like I'm against dating apps in those aspects, Like 279 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,840 Speaker 2: I've always known them from social media. Slide in their 280 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 2: DMS story, like do it all on social media. 281 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 3: It's a new way. 282 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 2: It's a new way. Instagram is a new dating app. 283 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 2: Just follow them, guys, love a confident coin, get you 284 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 2: dig out and I'm jicking. 285 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 1: Send a tipic. No, but stop comparing yourself. 286 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 2: You're doing great just because you're twenty two and you 287 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,959 Speaker 2: have had no experience. Mean shit, maybe don't mean anything. 288 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 2: That is it for little just for girls. Dilemma hub 289 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 2: or We'll be doing this a lot more often because 290 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 2: we have so many dilemmas coming into the inbox. 291 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 1: So don't you worry, Queen. We'll be back and I 292 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 1: love you all, and i'll see you on Hodderwin yesterday. Bye.