1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,241 Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:16,881 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment. 3 00:00:16,441 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 2: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most 4 00:00:19,201 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 2: authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,281 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to new level. 6 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:29,321 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. Get ready for 8 00:00:29,361 --> 00:00:30,761 Speaker 1: your next level of self. 9 00:00:31,401 --> 00:00:34,601 Speaker 2: Hello, welcome back to one of the episode of She Rises, 10 00:00:34,721 --> 00:00:36,961 Speaker 2: your favorite to co hosts Ashley and Tiana. 11 00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:39,840 Speaker 1: It's not free through Friday, but today we're getting a 12 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:44,921 Speaker 1: bit naughty sexual. But I didn't, but that's what I 13 00:00:44,921 --> 00:00:47,521 Speaker 1: want to talk about today. It's like naughty thoughts or 14 00:00:47,561 --> 00:00:51,481 Speaker 1: what people consider naughty thoughts. Why And We've got quite 15 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,961 Speaker 1: a few different points to uncover and talk about. 16 00:00:54,081 --> 00:00:57,321 Speaker 2: And like what naughty thoughts, what they are and whether 17 00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,801 Speaker 2: they should be explored or not is something that I 18 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:01,241 Speaker 2: think would be really cool to cover. 19 00:01:01,601 --> 00:01:06,161 Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, what is the word naughty? Who does what's naughty? 20 00:01:06,681 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: And this isn't just in sex too, it's in around food. 21 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 1: People say naughty. I'm like, that's almost like demonizing the 22 00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:16,161 Speaker 1: food to be bad. It's true. Anything of too much, 23 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,481 Speaker 1: I think can be unhealthy. But that word naughty I 24 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,321 Speaker 1: just don't connect with. It can be fun and playful, 25 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,481 Speaker 1: I think in the bedroom like a naughty girl, you know. 26 00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:27,961 Speaker 1: I just, yeah, I don't love the word naughty because 27 00:01:27,961 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: for me, it makes it sound like what I'm doing 28 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,321 Speaker 1: is wrong. Yeah, that's so interesting. 29 00:01:31,401 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 2: I think I've used even in context of a conversation. 30 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,161 Speaker 2: I say the word naughty sometimes, but I think the 31 00:01:36,241 --> 00:01:39,041 Speaker 2: context behind it is important, definitely, But it does, for 32 00:01:39,081 --> 00:01:42,801 Speaker 2: the most part, have a negative connotation, definitely negative energy 33 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:44,841 Speaker 2: around it of like, oh, this is bad, you shouldn't 34 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:45,241 Speaker 2: be doing it. 35 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,841 Speaker 1: Stop doing that, I'm sure. Yeah, this was the main 36 00:01:48,081 --> 00:01:51,041 Speaker 1: part of this episode is more on the sexual side 37 00:01:51,081 --> 00:01:54,361 Speaker 1: of things. What thoughts come up for us where we've 38 00:01:54,401 --> 00:01:57,721 Speaker 1: shamed ourselves. I know for me growing up, I thought 39 00:01:57,881 --> 00:02:02,001 Speaker 1: most things were just naughty and bad and dirty and slutty. Yeah, 40 00:02:02,001 --> 00:02:04,121 Speaker 1: it's why I didn't sleep around. It's why I waited 41 00:02:04,241 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: till I only had boyfri friends. Why I just didn't 42 00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:09,761 Speaker 1: experiment and do much because I just thought that was 43 00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:11,841 Speaker 1: the wrong thing to do. I thought it was gross 44 00:02:12,241 --> 00:02:14,481 Speaker 1: and you should save yourself, you know, people that care 45 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,241 Speaker 1: about you. Yeah, and on reflection now, I definitely do 46 00:02:17,321 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 1: not have that opinion. I'm like, you, live your life. Yeah, 47 00:02:19,561 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 1: I want to go fuck around and try go for it. 48 00:02:22,481 --> 00:02:26,761 Speaker 1: Live your life, fuck around, find out Actually when I 49 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,281 Speaker 1: say naughty thoughts around in the bedroom, what comes up 50 00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:29,641 Speaker 1: for you? 51 00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:32,121 Speaker 2: So when I think of naughty, I think of things 52 00:02:32,121 --> 00:02:35,321 Speaker 2: that are almost like forbidden fruit taboo. 53 00:02:35,561 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, like a. 54 00:02:36,361 --> 00:02:40,720 Speaker 2: Big taboo where I'm like, say, for example, like I 55 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 2: have dabbled in like a little bit of anal play, right, 56 00:02:43,721 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 2: not much, not have had sex with like that way 57 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,041 Speaker 2: or anything, but to me that feels taboo. And so 58 00:02:49,121 --> 00:02:51,481 Speaker 2: when I think of like naughty thoughts, I think almost 59 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 2: like things that I shouldn't want to do or that 60 00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:57,361 Speaker 2: aren't really allowed or socially acceptable to talk about or 61 00:02:57,361 --> 00:03:00,681 Speaker 2: to actually do, but feels like, oh, I could see 62 00:03:00,721 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 2: how in an intimate relationship with your partner, when you 63 00:03:02,721 --> 00:03:06,041 Speaker 2: have like the ultimate level of trust, if you're into that, 64 00:03:06,041 --> 00:03:08,561 Speaker 2: that might be something that you want to explore. Yeah, 65 00:03:08,601 --> 00:03:11,201 Speaker 2: And so I've definitely had moments I love that was 66 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:12,321 Speaker 2: the first place that I went. 67 00:03:13,321 --> 00:03:15,201 Speaker 1: Well, my first place is totally different to yours, so 68 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,881 Speaker 1: it's all welcome bringing in so good. I'm like no 69 00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:19,881 Speaker 1: lube for this conversation. We've got straight in. 70 00:03:20,481 --> 00:03:22,441 Speaker 2: And that's kind of something that comes to mind is 71 00:03:22,481 --> 00:03:23,361 Speaker 2: like it's naughty. 72 00:03:23,401 --> 00:03:24,721 Speaker 1: It's almost not allowed. 73 00:03:24,841 --> 00:03:27,161 Speaker 2: It's like you're not really supposed to want that or 74 00:03:27,201 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 2: supposed to like that. But I do have moments where 75 00:03:29,441 --> 00:03:31,441 Speaker 2: I do get curious where I'm like, oh, I wonder 76 00:03:31,481 --> 00:03:33,641 Speaker 2: what a little bit of like anal play with my 77 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,041 Speaker 2: partner would feel like, or yeah, things like that, And 78 00:03:36,081 --> 00:03:39,121 Speaker 2: I do think those things, but then immediately I notice 79 00:03:39,161 --> 00:03:41,921 Speaker 2: myself close up and be like, no, we haven't been 80 00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:44,361 Speaker 2: together long enough, or I shouldn't want that, Like it 81 00:03:44,481 --> 00:03:47,481 Speaker 2: just feels like I don't give myself permission to want 82 00:03:47,481 --> 00:03:48,081 Speaker 2: to like that. 83 00:03:48,281 --> 00:03:50,801 Speaker 1: When you hear someone else talk about it. This isn't me, 84 00:03:50,921 --> 00:03:52,601 Speaker 1: by the way, But if it was one of your 85 00:03:52,601 --> 00:03:53,801 Speaker 1: friends it was like, oh my god, I had a 86 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:57,041 Speaker 1: best anal sex last night. Would that dissolve that shame 87 00:03:57,081 --> 00:03:58,801 Speaker 1: pretty quickly that you'd be like, oh, yeah, it's okay 88 00:03:58,801 --> 00:04:00,961 Speaker 1: that I want that for me, yeah, Or would you 89 00:04:00,961 --> 00:04:02,761 Speaker 1: still hold onto it look at her like, oh fuck 90 00:04:02,961 --> 00:04:03,521 Speaker 1: you like that? 91 00:04:03,641 --> 00:04:06,321 Speaker 2: No. I don't look at anybody who enjoys those things 92 00:04:06,401 --> 00:04:08,681 Speaker 2: in that way. It's more of a curiosity. I'm like, oh, cool, 93 00:04:08,721 --> 00:04:10,561 Speaker 2: like I'd love to hear your experience kind of thing. 94 00:04:10,601 --> 00:04:12,641 Speaker 2: But then for me, it's a different story. I feel 95 00:04:12,641 --> 00:04:15,201 Speaker 2: like I have made more limitations on myself than I 96 00:04:15,281 --> 00:04:18,161 Speaker 2: do other people because maybe my own sexual shame that 97 00:04:18,201 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 2: I carry. I'm like, oh, like maybe I shouldn't, you know. Yeah, 98 00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 2: or expectations of society where it's like, oh, you're not 99 00:04:24,401 --> 00:04:26,001 Speaker 2: a good girl if you like those things. 100 00:04:26,201 --> 00:04:29,161 Speaker 1: Yes, people will think you're dirty or saty or whatever. 101 00:04:29,401 --> 00:04:29,601 Speaker 2: Yeah. 102 00:04:29,801 --> 00:04:32,561 Speaker 1: Yeah, that was where my mind went. Mm. If I 103 00:04:32,601 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: think of naughty, mine more thinks of like threesomes, yeah, 104 00:04:37,561 --> 00:04:40,001 Speaker 1: or like sex parties or something. Yeah, okay, Like I've 105 00:04:40,001 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 1: never been to a sex party, like that would seem 106 00:04:42,201 --> 00:04:46,281 Speaker 1: very quote unquote naughty to me, Like it's so unknown 107 00:04:46,641 --> 00:04:49,681 Speaker 1: and just people to not talk about that and it's 108 00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:51,681 Speaker 1: not the norm thing to go and do. I don't 109 00:04:51,721 --> 00:04:54,841 Speaker 1: really know anyone that even goes to those, yeah, you know, 110 00:04:55,521 --> 00:04:58,121 Speaker 1: and it's not something I see myself going to in 111 00:04:58,161 --> 00:05:00,321 Speaker 1: the near future. Who knows in fifty years time, I'm 112 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,681 Speaker 1: not sure. But it's not saying I see myself going to, 113 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:06,361 Speaker 1: so for me that feels quite naughty. It's more curiosity too, 114 00:05:06,921 --> 00:05:09,721 Speaker 1: but I do think they're definitely a darker energy, not 115 00:05:09,761 --> 00:05:13,441 Speaker 1: in a bad way, but they're very curious and adventurous people. 116 00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:17,121 Speaker 1: But for me, that's very outside my comfort zone. It's naughty. 117 00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:20,121 Speaker 2: Yeah, and also as well with things like that, it's 118 00:05:20,241 --> 00:05:23,521 Speaker 2: very hush hush. I feel anything that comes to sex. 119 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,001 Speaker 1: And it makes you feel like it's naughty. 120 00:05:25,121 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, it does, because it's not really openly spoken about it. No, 121 00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 2: it's not a common conversation that most people have, even 122 00:05:32,241 --> 00:05:34,601 Speaker 2: if they were to go, yeah, you don't really hear 123 00:05:34,641 --> 00:05:35,121 Speaker 2: about it. 124 00:05:35,281 --> 00:05:37,041 Speaker 1: When I asked you, if you hear other people talk 125 00:05:37,081 --> 00:05:39,281 Speaker 1: about anal, does it help you soften, Because for me 126 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,681 Speaker 1: it does. If I ever hear someone talk about threesomes 127 00:05:42,721 --> 00:05:45,121 Speaker 1: and experiences that hard makes it feel so normal then 128 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: because they're so freely about it, like, oh, it's not 129 00:05:47,361 --> 00:05:49,961 Speaker 1: so naughty. Yes, everyone does this, like in a group setting, 130 00:05:50,401 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: once one person opens up, everyone else has got stories 131 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,600 Speaker 1: to them like, oh, this is so much more common 132 00:05:54,641 --> 00:05:56,561 Speaker 1: than what people think. That's so true. Just don't talk 133 00:05:56,561 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 1: about it. That's very true. So it's not so naughty. 134 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,841 Speaker 1: It's just them exploring their sexuality. It's just them having fun. 135 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,401 Speaker 1: It's just got a sex toy in human form, Like 136 00:06:03,561 --> 00:06:06,561 Speaker 1: it's normalized it. It doesn't seem was naughty when people 137 00:06:06,561 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: talk about it. 138 00:06:07,081 --> 00:06:09,601 Speaker 2: It's not naughty. It's just that people don't talk about it. Yes, 139 00:06:09,841 --> 00:06:11,761 Speaker 2: the people are doing it, that's whether she just wouldn't 140 00:06:11,761 --> 00:06:14,001 Speaker 2: know about it. I think that you're alone in it 141 00:06:14,161 --> 00:06:17,641 Speaker 2: because you're not having the conversation. Yeah, even the conversations 142 00:06:17,641 --> 00:06:21,041 Speaker 2: we've had open conversation around anything that we'd want to explore, 143 00:06:21,121 --> 00:06:23,801 Speaker 2: open to what we wouldn't be open to, even that 144 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,961 Speaker 2: normalized it. Yes, for us, I did like just having 145 00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:30,121 Speaker 2: the dialogue of being like, would we explore this? Probably not? 146 00:06:30,201 --> 00:06:31,281 Speaker 2: But do we want to talk about it? 147 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:35,161 Speaker 1: Absolutely? Do we fantasize about it? Absolutely? Yes? Are we 148 00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:37,321 Speaker 1: going to do it? Do I have the balls? No? 149 00:06:38,801 --> 00:06:41,321 Speaker 1: Do I have dreams about it? Yes? Yeah, let's talk 150 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,961 Speaker 1: about dreams because I love talking about sex dreams. Oh 151 00:06:43,961 --> 00:06:46,641 Speaker 1: my gosh. A couple of like, oh, maybe like six 152 00:06:46,681 --> 00:06:49,241 Speaker 1: months ago, Steve he asked me, I had this sex 153 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:50,921 Speaker 1: dream about I don't know who he was, but he 154 00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:53,281 Speaker 1: was hot. We did end up having sex in the dream, 155 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 1: and I was devastated. Anyway, the next night, Steve had 156 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,561 Speaker 1: a dream about this girl oh wow, oh wow. Yes. 157 00:06:58,641 --> 00:07:02,281 Speaker 1: My reaction to like, who is this motherfucker? It was 158 00:07:02,281 --> 00:07:04,281 Speaker 1: like a healthy jealousy. I was like, tell me about her. 159 00:07:04,601 --> 00:07:07,561 Speaker 1: She was like brunette and he said she was smoking hot. 160 00:07:07,681 --> 00:07:09,721 Speaker 1: And then he was like, we just fucked all night, 161 00:07:09,761 --> 00:07:13,161 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my goodness, and I got 162 00:07:13,161 --> 00:07:15,161 Speaker 1: a bit jealous, but like laughing because it's a dream. 163 00:07:15,321 --> 00:07:17,401 Speaker 1: Like it's a dream. He hasn't not anything wrong. Yeah, 164 00:07:17,441 --> 00:07:19,641 Speaker 1: he had the same dream four nights in a row. 165 00:07:20,401 --> 00:07:24,241 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, this is reoccurring. I was like, have 166 00:07:24,321 --> 00:07:27,161 Speaker 1: you scrolled on Instagram and this gorgeous brunettes popped out? 167 00:07:27,201 --> 00:07:30,081 Speaker 1: And now she's in your subconscious He's like, honestly, babe, 168 00:07:30,081 --> 00:07:31,761 Speaker 1: I would tell you if that happened, if it was 169 00:07:31,801 --> 00:07:34,561 Speaker 1: like what the name? Oh my god, he's obsessed with her. 170 00:07:34,841 --> 00:07:36,321 Speaker 1: If it was her, he goes, I could just tell you, 171 00:07:36,321 --> 00:07:38,281 Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, He's like, it's no one I've ever 172 00:07:38,321 --> 00:07:40,561 Speaker 1: seen before. Yeah, but I could describe to you what 173 00:07:40,681 --> 00:07:43,441 Speaker 1: she looks like. I don't need the details, babe. Yeah, 174 00:07:43,441 --> 00:07:45,081 Speaker 1: like that's enough. But to me, that was like, oh, 175 00:07:45,121 --> 00:07:47,241 Speaker 1: this feels a bit naughty. And when I wake up 176 00:07:47,281 --> 00:07:50,481 Speaker 1: from a dream of having sex with someone else. I 177 00:07:50,481 --> 00:07:52,881 Speaker 1: feel so guilty. Yeah, that feels really naughty to me 178 00:07:52,921 --> 00:07:55,441 Speaker 1: because I wake up, I'm like, oh I've cheated. Yeah, 179 00:07:55,481 --> 00:07:57,041 Speaker 1: it makes you like you've done something wrong. I don't 180 00:07:57,041 --> 00:08:00,001 Speaker 1: have an orgasm. Am I wet? Okay, I'm good. How 181 00:08:00,041 --> 00:08:02,081 Speaker 1: do you feel like that? I don't know. I don't 182 00:08:02,161 --> 00:08:04,401 Speaker 1: like it. I think so it's so good. So he's like, 183 00:08:04,521 --> 00:08:09,081 Speaker 1: was I there? Yeah, like that kind of stuff feels naughty, 184 00:08:09,081 --> 00:08:10,161 Speaker 1: but like fun. 185 00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,881 Speaker 2: Isn't it funny? Though when that happens. I've had that before, 186 00:08:13,161 --> 00:08:15,721 Speaker 2: feeling guilty after having a moment like that, Because you do, 187 00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:18,361 Speaker 2: you feel like it almost like a guilty conscience, Like 188 00:08:18,481 --> 00:08:21,081 Speaker 2: I know I haven't physically done anything, yeah, but my 189 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,921 Speaker 2: psyche is running out. 190 00:08:23,601 --> 00:08:27,041 Speaker 1: Yeah, it just feels edgy. It does feel edgy and 191 00:08:27,081 --> 00:08:30,561 Speaker 1: a bit naughty. Yeah. Yeah, So we had a DM 192 00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:32,921 Speaker 1: come through. She wants to know how to uncover what 193 00:08:33,041 --> 00:08:36,881 Speaker 1: is worth exploring with fantasies and what's worth leaving as 194 00:08:36,881 --> 00:08:40,201 Speaker 1: a fantasy only. I think it's up to the individual. Yeah, 195 00:08:40,401 --> 00:08:44,281 Speaker 1: but I do love talking about fantasies with Steve because 196 00:08:44,321 --> 00:08:47,121 Speaker 1: some of them are just that. Yeah, Like sometimes I'm like, 197 00:08:47,161 --> 00:08:49,121 Speaker 1: oh that sounds so hot and sexy, or I'll see 198 00:08:49,121 --> 00:08:50,921 Speaker 1: something in a movie and he's like, is that something you. 199 00:08:50,881 --> 00:08:51,241 Speaker 2: Want to do? 200 00:08:51,721 --> 00:08:54,041 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, hell no, not for me. Like I 201 00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:55,801 Speaker 1: don't want to have a mass orgy, but this movie 202 00:08:55,881 --> 00:08:58,601 Speaker 1: seems really sexy right now, But no, way, that's not 203 00:08:58,641 --> 00:08:59,841 Speaker 1: for me. I don't want to be in a room 204 00:08:59,881 --> 00:09:02,761 Speaker 1: with ten people having sex like that. No, that's not 205 00:09:02,801 --> 00:09:05,801 Speaker 1: for me. But the movie scenems enjoyable. So yeah, it's 206 00:09:05,801 --> 00:09:07,841 Speaker 1: a little bit of a fantasy, But I don't actually 207 00:09:07,841 --> 00:09:09,161 Speaker 1: think I would ever want to go through with that 208 00:09:09,241 --> 00:09:11,361 Speaker 1: or even entertain that. Yeah, I think it's up to 209 00:09:11,401 --> 00:09:14,481 Speaker 1: the individual. If you feel like that's actually something you 210 00:09:14,481 --> 00:09:17,281 Speaker 1: would like to try, then I think that's okay to 211 00:09:17,361 --> 00:09:18,361 Speaker 1: explore that fantasy. 212 00:09:18,521 --> 00:09:20,561 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think what you just said is so true. 213 00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:23,881 Speaker 2: It really is so uniquely independent on the individual and 214 00:09:23,961 --> 00:09:27,641 Speaker 2: also depends on how you feel about it yourself, because 215 00:09:27,681 --> 00:09:29,961 Speaker 2: like you could maybe watch something like what you just 216 00:09:30,001 --> 00:09:31,601 Speaker 2: said and be like, oh, I really enjoyed that, but 217 00:09:31,641 --> 00:09:33,561 Speaker 2: in real life be like no, Or you could really 218 00:09:33,561 --> 00:09:35,801 Speaker 2: watch it and be like I feel like I shouldn't 219 00:09:35,801 --> 00:09:37,561 Speaker 2: do that, but I want to do, you know what 220 00:09:37,601 --> 00:09:39,601 Speaker 2: I mean. So it depends on the shame around that. Yeah, 221 00:09:39,601 --> 00:09:42,241 Speaker 2: it depends how you feel about it, what feels safe 222 00:09:42,241 --> 00:09:46,041 Speaker 2: to do, what feels safe to explore, whether you feel 223 00:09:46,081 --> 00:09:48,881 Speaker 2: like you have people safe enough to do those things with. Like, 224 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,601 Speaker 2: I feel like there's so many different parts to that 225 00:09:51,681 --> 00:09:52,921 Speaker 2: to consider. 226 00:09:52,601 --> 00:09:54,441 Speaker 1: And you've got to be honest with yourself. Like, let's 227 00:09:54,481 --> 00:09:57,561 Speaker 1: use that situation as an example. If you watch an 228 00:09:57,641 --> 00:10:00,081 Speaker 1: orgo threasm or something on TV and you're like, Oh, 229 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,041 Speaker 1: that would be really fun. Oh no, no, I don't 230 00:10:03,081 --> 00:10:05,201 Speaker 1: want to do that. Is that truth for you? Or 231 00:10:05,241 --> 00:10:06,481 Speaker 1: do you not want to do it because you're scared 232 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,761 Speaker 1: of what your husband might think of you, or you're 233 00:10:07,761 --> 00:10:09,721 Speaker 1: scared of what your friends will say, you're scared that 234 00:10:09,761 --> 00:10:11,641 Speaker 1: you won't be accepted, or you're scared you'll be shamed 235 00:10:11,641 --> 00:10:13,681 Speaker 1: about it. You're going to shame yourself for it. Have 236 00:10:13,761 --> 00:10:16,401 Speaker 1: you told yourself that that's dirty? Or do you actually 237 00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:17,761 Speaker 1: just not want to do it because to me, there's 238 00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:20,161 Speaker 1: no shame around it. I don't want to have an orgy, yes, 239 00:10:20,441 --> 00:10:22,321 Speaker 1: I just know that's not for me. Yeah, but for 240 00:10:22,401 --> 00:10:25,481 Speaker 1: other people it might be fine. So it's very personal preference. Yeah, 241 00:10:25,601 --> 00:10:26,441 Speaker 1: personal preference. 242 00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:28,961 Speaker 2: So that's a hard question to answer because it really 243 00:10:29,041 --> 00:10:32,121 Speaker 2: is the only person who can really answer that is you, yes, 244 00:10:32,281 --> 00:10:34,681 Speaker 2: you know, for you specifically, because even for the woman 245 00:10:34,681 --> 00:10:36,721 Speaker 2: who DMS like, we don't have context of what her 246 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:40,881 Speaker 2: personal fantasies are, what her desires are, what her intimacy 247 00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:43,001 Speaker 2: level is, like you know, those sorts of things that 248 00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:44,121 Speaker 2: we don't know those things. 249 00:10:43,961 --> 00:10:45,881 Speaker 1: At least that's a good example. So for me, I 250 00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:47,801 Speaker 1: clearly know I do not want to have an orgy. 251 00:10:48,041 --> 00:10:50,281 Speaker 1: But say, there's a show called I've shared it on 252 00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:52,521 Speaker 1: here before it was like me, you and her, I 253 00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:54,401 Speaker 1: think it was, and it was about a thruple relationship. 254 00:10:54,841 --> 00:10:57,321 Speaker 1: I don't want to thrupple relationship, but I loved the 255 00:10:57,401 --> 00:11:00,281 Speaker 1: dynamic of another girl. It was really playful and fun, 256 00:11:00,361 --> 00:11:03,241 Speaker 1: and I haven't really explored with the girl, but I'm 257 00:11:03,361 --> 00:11:05,441 Speaker 1: maybe a little bit more curious on that, whereas an 258 00:11:05,561 --> 00:11:07,481 Speaker 1: orgy is a hell no for me. Yeah, there was 259 00:11:07,521 --> 00:11:10,241 Speaker 1: definitely a bit of a fancy and curiosity with another woman, 260 00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:12,841 Speaker 1: yeah and Steve, but an orgy is a hell no 261 00:11:12,921 --> 00:11:15,321 Speaker 1: for me. So there's just two different examples of what 262 00:11:15,481 --> 00:11:17,361 Speaker 1: we left as like, oh, that's hot to watch on 263 00:11:17,401 --> 00:11:20,401 Speaker 1: TV compared to oh maybe one day. 264 00:11:20,441 --> 00:11:23,121 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, See it's funny when you say that, 265 00:11:23,161 --> 00:11:25,041 Speaker 2: And when I've heard friends of ours who have been 266 00:11:25,081 --> 00:11:27,881 Speaker 2: in relationships with the throple, I'm like, oh my god, 267 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:29,761 Speaker 2: I'm so curious about that. But then when I think 268 00:11:29,801 --> 00:11:32,081 Speaker 2: about me being in that, I'm like, I'm way too jealousy. Shit, 269 00:11:32,601 --> 00:11:34,241 Speaker 2: I'm like, I just would not be a good partner 270 00:11:34,281 --> 00:11:37,281 Speaker 2: because I'm like, I already have jealousy traits and like 271 00:11:37,481 --> 00:11:41,001 Speaker 2: natural insecurity is just like anyone, and sometimes it can 272 00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:43,601 Speaker 2: be quite strong my jealousy. So I'm like, I imagine 273 00:11:43,601 --> 00:11:46,281 Speaker 2: having to do it with three people instead of like 274 00:11:46,361 --> 00:11:50,001 Speaker 2: being an intimate. You know, if there's ever anything that 275 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,721 Speaker 2: does pop into my mind, they're usually fleeting moments, yeah, 276 00:11:52,961 --> 00:11:55,921 Speaker 2: like fantasies or things that I might want to experience, 277 00:11:56,081 --> 00:11:58,281 Speaker 2: or you know, even thoughts of being like, oh, would 278 00:11:58,281 --> 00:11:59,961 Speaker 2: I want to explore that with him one day in 279 00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:01,801 Speaker 2: the future, you know, and then it's just a fleeting thought. 280 00:12:03,081 --> 00:12:06,121 Speaker 1: Yeah. What about when you were single verse in a relationship. 281 00:12:06,161 --> 00:12:07,761 Speaker 1: I can't really speak on this because I'm in single 282 00:12:07,801 --> 00:12:11,201 Speaker 1: since it's freaking like eighteen, but did you have naughtier 283 00:12:11,241 --> 00:12:13,961 Speaker 1: thoughts or different fantasies when you're single compared to when 284 00:12:13,961 --> 00:12:17,161 Speaker 1: you're in a relationship. Yes, yeah, absolutely, Okay. 285 00:12:16,961 --> 00:12:19,121 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I would say that the fantasies are more 286 00:12:19,161 --> 00:12:20,121 Speaker 2: frequent when I'm single. 287 00:12:20,521 --> 00:12:22,481 Speaker 1: Yes, that would make more sense. You'll think a bad. 288 00:12:22,521 --> 00:12:24,881 Speaker 2: It's like when I'm single, it's more of like a 289 00:12:24,881 --> 00:12:28,441 Speaker 2: fantasy things that I hear that I read, you know, 290 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,401 Speaker 2: It's like the Dynamics and the smart books and stuff 291 00:12:30,441 --> 00:12:32,281 Speaker 2: like that, where I'm like, well, that'd be fun. But 292 00:12:32,321 --> 00:12:34,761 Speaker 2: because I don't have that in my close immediate so 293 00:12:34,881 --> 00:12:36,521 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I wonder what that would be like. 294 00:12:36,561 --> 00:12:38,881 Speaker 1: So there's a lot more curiosity when I'm single. Makes 295 00:12:38,961 --> 00:12:40,841 Speaker 1: so much sense. But I also never had the balls 296 00:12:40,881 --> 00:12:43,201 Speaker 1: to explore stuff like that and the taste for it, 297 00:12:43,201 --> 00:12:45,241 Speaker 1: I suppose because when you're in a relationship, you are 298 00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:47,721 Speaker 1: satisfied in getting so many needs met. Yes, you don't 299 00:12:47,721 --> 00:12:50,801 Speaker 1: really look outside of that, whereas when you're single, it's 300 00:12:50,841 --> 00:12:52,801 Speaker 1: like fucking the world's my oyster. Yeah, I can do 301 00:12:52,841 --> 00:12:55,241 Speaker 1: anything I want with whoever I want, Like literally, what 302 00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,241 Speaker 1: do I feel like today? But I totally didn't even 303 00:12:57,241 --> 00:12:57,561 Speaker 1: do that. 304 00:12:57,641 --> 00:12:59,561 Speaker 2: Like for me, I've always wanted to be in a 305 00:12:59,601 --> 00:13:02,241 Speaker 2: relationship or have an emotional connection with somebody before I 306 00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:04,281 Speaker 2: do that stuff. And it's not shaming anybody who does 307 00:13:04,321 --> 00:13:05,481 Speaker 2: otherwise still. 308 00:13:05,281 --> 00:13:07,081 Speaker 1: Had the fantasies about it. I still had the fantasies 309 00:13:07,081 --> 00:13:09,521 Speaker 1: about it. That's what we're talk about. Suppose it's more 310 00:13:09,561 --> 00:13:12,921 Speaker 1: naughty thoughts. Yeah, not necessarily actions. It was just like 311 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:16,601 Speaker 1: the thought went there. Oh, the thoughts definitely went there. Yeah, yeah, 312 00:13:16,601 --> 00:13:17,121 Speaker 1: that's cool. 313 00:13:17,321 --> 00:13:18,721 Speaker 2: Coming back to what you were saying about, like the 314 00:13:18,761 --> 00:13:22,321 Speaker 2: sex parties and stuff like, speaking of like naughty connotations 315 00:13:22,361 --> 00:13:24,561 Speaker 2: around the word naughty. I always used to think that 316 00:13:24,561 --> 00:13:27,521 Speaker 2: that was quite naughty. But I remember thinking and feeling 317 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:31,521 Speaker 2: when I was younger, wanting to explore that, but almost 318 00:13:32,241 --> 00:13:34,881 Speaker 2: like feeling like I shouldn't. Like it was like that, oh, no, 319 00:13:34,921 --> 00:13:36,281 Speaker 2: you're not allowed to do this because what if people 320 00:13:36,361 --> 00:13:36,801 Speaker 2: judge you? 321 00:13:36,921 --> 00:13:37,521 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know. 322 00:13:37,641 --> 00:13:39,801 Speaker 2: But there was always a curiosity there of just wanting 323 00:13:39,841 --> 00:13:42,721 Speaker 2: to experience it, even just once to just be like 324 00:13:42,801 --> 00:13:45,201 Speaker 2: I wonder, I wonder what it looks like because I've 325 00:13:45,201 --> 00:13:47,481 Speaker 2: never seen it. I can't fathom what it looks like. 326 00:13:47,801 --> 00:13:49,921 Speaker 2: Not that i'd even like play or interact or any 327 00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:52,041 Speaker 2: of that stuff. It's always just been a curiosity. I've 328 00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:54,561 Speaker 2: been quite a curious moment from a young age, like 329 00:13:54,561 --> 00:13:57,401 Speaker 2: I started self pleasuring at a young age because I'm 330 00:13:57,401 --> 00:13:59,921 Speaker 2: just so curious about my body and learning things and 331 00:13:59,961 --> 00:14:02,201 Speaker 2: feeling things. Yeah, you know, so that kind of like 332 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,721 Speaker 2: has rolled on as an adult, and yeah, I just 333 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,361 Speaker 2: remember thinking around those things, like I would wonder what 334 00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:09,241 Speaker 2: it feels like to be in that environment. 335 00:14:09,321 --> 00:14:11,601 Speaker 1: I can't imagine. Yeah, Like, is it like the movies 336 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,441 Speaker 1: whereveryone puts their key? Oh no, that'd be swinging, wouldn't 337 00:14:13,441 --> 00:14:14,641 Speaker 1: when they put their keys in a bowl and then 338 00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:16,561 Speaker 1: they pick out another key, and whoever's keys that is, 339 00:14:16,561 --> 00:14:19,601 Speaker 1: they have to go with that partner they switch partners. Yeah, yeah, 340 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,481 Speaker 1: but that's not a sex party, is it. I'm getting 341 00:14:21,521 --> 00:14:23,321 Speaker 1: a sex party is different. I think that would be 342 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,641 Speaker 1: a swing much about it? 343 00:14:24,841 --> 00:14:27,641 Speaker 2: Really really heard of a friend of a friend who's 344 00:14:27,681 --> 00:14:28,641 Speaker 2: been like, I don't. 345 00:14:28,441 --> 00:14:31,001 Speaker 1: Even know anyone that's been, No, neither of I. We 346 00:14:31,001 --> 00:14:33,561 Speaker 1: need to get someone on. Yeah, I know, if anyone's listening, 347 00:14:33,561 --> 00:14:34,641 Speaker 1: you've been to a sex party. 348 00:14:34,721 --> 00:14:37,681 Speaker 2: And you know what as well, even with this conversation, 349 00:14:37,761 --> 00:14:40,521 Speaker 2: for anyone who's like potentially listening and maybe even getting 350 00:14:40,521 --> 00:14:42,721 Speaker 2: triggered at the topics that we're talking about. This is 351 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,841 Speaker 2: supposed to be a place where we come and we 352 00:14:44,961 --> 00:14:47,841 Speaker 2: open up the floor to anything to be strang about. 353 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,681 Speaker 2: We don't even know what we're talking about here. Yeah, 354 00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:51,441 Speaker 2: I don't know about a sex No, I'm like, we 355 00:14:51,481 --> 00:14:53,561 Speaker 2: have no idea. But it's just that nothing is off 356 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,961 Speaker 2: limits when we open up this conversation. We do that 357 00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:57,801 Speaker 2: in our friendship, we do that on the podcast, like 358 00:14:58,081 --> 00:15:00,481 Speaker 2: we want to create that space for you to know 359 00:15:00,641 --> 00:15:03,361 Speaker 2: that nothing is off limits. No, you know, it just 360 00:15:03,401 --> 00:15:05,841 Speaker 2: creates a really safe place within yourself and also here 361 00:15:05,881 --> 00:15:08,401 Speaker 2: with us that you know you can explore anything that's 362 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,401 Speaker 2: coming up for you in the moment without needing to 363 00:15:10,401 --> 00:15:11,801 Speaker 2: make it wrong exactly. 364 00:15:11,841 --> 00:15:13,921 Speaker 1: And one of our words this year is curiosity, like 365 00:15:14,001 --> 00:15:16,521 Speaker 1: always to lead with curiosities that something's on your mind 366 00:15:16,601 --> 00:15:18,881 Speaker 1: or you're curious about it, research it, look it up, 367 00:15:18,921 --> 00:15:21,801 Speaker 1: talk to people, ask questions, try things like you literally 368 00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:22,721 Speaker 1: get one life. 369 00:15:22,801 --> 00:15:25,321 Speaker 2: Live it and just reiterating that, like, we can talk 370 00:15:25,361 --> 00:15:27,201 Speaker 2: about anything, but it doesn't mean that you have to 371 00:15:27,241 --> 00:15:29,641 Speaker 2: act on it. No. It's a huge part of what 372 00:15:29,681 --> 00:15:31,321 Speaker 2: we do here is just being like, oh, you want 373 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,561 Speaker 2: to talk about it, cool. If you don't want to 374 00:15:32,561 --> 00:15:33,881 Speaker 2: act on it, that's absolutely fine. 375 00:15:33,921 --> 00:15:36,361 Speaker 1: We support you. Literally, even all of these fantasies like 376 00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:38,721 Speaker 1: probably never will act on them. Yeah, they're fun to 377 00:15:38,761 --> 00:15:41,281 Speaker 1: talk about and probably read them in smart books. Literally, 378 00:15:41,281 --> 00:15:43,641 Speaker 1: I was just gonna say in books. It's similar. People 379 00:15:43,641 --> 00:15:45,641 Speaker 1: on social media always talk about how much books turn 380 00:15:45,681 --> 00:15:48,601 Speaker 1: them on, like their fantasies there. That's highlighting for you, 381 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,161 Speaker 1: that that turns you on. That's okay, that's not naughty 382 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:54,241 Speaker 1: or bad. Yeap, fun It isn't funny. How we get 383 00:15:54,281 --> 00:15:56,641 Speaker 1: shamed for being turned on by these things. Yeah, it's 384 00:15:56,961 --> 00:15:59,921 Speaker 1: a shame and just denying yourself with pleasure though when 385 00:15:59,921 --> 00:16:01,681 Speaker 1: you bring shame into it and you're denying someone else of 386 00:16:01,801 --> 00:16:04,521 Speaker 1: potentially feeling that pleasure, and how cool as well? 387 00:16:04,601 --> 00:16:07,681 Speaker 2: Even if they there is shame there or fear, it's like, oh, 388 00:16:07,721 --> 00:16:09,601 Speaker 2: this is an opportunity for me to heal through that 389 00:16:09,641 --> 00:16:12,841 Speaker 2: so I can access deeper levels of intimacy, Like, oh, 390 00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:15,121 Speaker 2: if shame is here, that means I'm being blocked from 391 00:16:15,161 --> 00:16:17,761 Speaker 2: experiencing something on a deeper level because I feel like 392 00:16:17,801 --> 00:16:19,921 Speaker 2: I shouldn't be doing that. I feel like it's wrong 393 00:16:20,081 --> 00:16:21,681 Speaker 2: or someone's going to judge me for it. 394 00:16:21,841 --> 00:16:23,561 Speaker 1: And if you're already feeling that too, like if your 395 00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:25,881 Speaker 1: friends ever bring anything to you as well, don't feel 396 00:16:25,881 --> 00:16:27,881 Speaker 1: shamed by you as well. Yeah, I's think it's super 397 00:16:27,921 --> 00:16:31,601 Speaker 1: weird to just be open minded and accepting and explore, 398 00:16:31,721 --> 00:16:34,321 Speaker 1: be curious, ask questions. Yeah, it doesn't have to be 399 00:16:34,401 --> 00:16:36,481 Speaker 1: in anything, or you don't have to do anything not 400 00:16:36,561 --> 00:16:39,561 Speaker 1: bad or good. Just is it just is. So this 401 00:16:39,601 --> 00:16:41,281 Speaker 1: is a bit of a shorter episode, but we just 402 00:16:41,281 --> 00:16:43,241 Speaker 1: want to chat about it because it's come up for us. 403 00:16:43,241 --> 00:16:44,721 Speaker 1: I've got a couple of dms. I thought we'd talking 404 00:16:44,721 --> 00:16:47,921 Speaker 1: about naughty thoughts. We love it, love it. Thanks for 405 00:16:48,001 --> 00:16:50,321 Speaker 1: joining us. We'll see you on Friday. Bye, ladies.