1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,519 Speaker 1: High Scrollers is produced on gaddigul Land. 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 2: We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this country. 3 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 2: An elder's past and present. 4 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,879 Speaker 1: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 3: Welcome back to another episode of Close Friends. Okay, anyway, wait, 6 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,320 Speaker 3: that nine episode isn't out yet. 7 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 4: I don't know what it is everyone on those. 8 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 1: That's going to be my little thing now every day and. 9 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 2: Then I really don't want that to become a thing. 10 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 4: Well, the Scrollers love it. 11 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 5: Now. 12 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 2: We always promote our email. 13 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 4: I think we promoted enough. 14 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 2: We don't promote it enough, but it's because we get 15 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:52,599 Speaker 2: enough emails. 16 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 4: No, but I want more. 17 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 3: Okay, if you don't know, now you know, Scrollers. We 18 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,280 Speaker 3: have our own Scrollers Email and you can send us 19 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 3: an email if you have something you want us to 20 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 3: talk about on the pod or if you have a question. 21 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 3: I love when people send through like questions, life questions, 22 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 3: maybe a dilemma, friendship, relationship, and we can give our 23 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 3: advice because we're just. 24 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 4: So so good. Yeah, we got the best advice. 25 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 2: We are the Oracles of twenty twenty five. Don't come 26 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 2: to us. We'll steer you in the right direction and 27 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,320 Speaker 2: sometimes we won't steal you in the right direction, but 28 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 2: we'll have a good time regardless. 29 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,119 Speaker 3: So today we have a question that's been sent in 30 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 3: to the scroller's email, and we thought we would read 31 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,559 Speaker 3: it out and give our advice because we're the best 32 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 3: at that. 33 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 2: Do you want to read it? 34 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll read it for your life. 35 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 3: I always like putting my hand up at school, so 36 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 3: I'll put my hand up to read this one out. 37 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 2: Remember in school when you had to read a line 38 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 2: by line around the classroom. 39 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was so slow. Okay, so we've got this email. 40 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 3: It says, Hi, Matt and Britt loved seeing all of 41 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 3: your America content. I know you're trying not to. 42 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 4: Talk about it anymore. 43 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 3: Here we are again in America every episode, I swear, 44 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 3: and I love that you both went with your partners 45 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 3: and looked like you had the time of your lives. 46 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:22,919 Speaker 4: How did you. 47 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 3: Both get out of your head when you were dating 48 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,679 Speaker 3: as a queer person. I put myself under so much 49 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,799 Speaker 3: pressure when I go on dates that I sometimes feel 50 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 3: like I haven't even shown up as myself. 51 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 2: My goodness, getting getting deep today jo on the close friends. 52 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 2: I guess that's what it's here for. I do love it. 53 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,679 Speaker 2: So what was the actual question there? 54 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 3: How do how did you get out of your own 55 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 3: head when you were dating? I actually love this because 56 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 3: I love when I see people show up on my 57 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 3: TikTok and have you seen those people that do like 58 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 3: series on tiktoks about dating and going on dates? And obviously, 59 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 3: like both of us, we've been in a relationship for 60 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 3: a long time. But I do often like put myself 61 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 3: in their shoes and think, oh, like that would be tough. 62 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, imagine imagine dating in twenty twenty five. 63 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 3: I can't. 64 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 2: I can't think. It's like I think, like unfortunately, for 65 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 2: the most part, because we get inside our own heads, 66 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 2: dating can. 67 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 4: Become a lot harder. 68 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, like harder than it needs to be, yes, you know. 69 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 3: And obviously, like when you're meeting someone for the first time, 70 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 3: Like I almost see it as. 71 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 4: Like doing a job interview. 72 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 3: Like I'm doing job interviews at the moment for a 73 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 3: position at Fate, And it's kind of like dating in 74 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 3: a way because when people are coming in and we're 75 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 3: interviewing them, they're putting on like the best version of themselves. 76 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 3: But I always think, in my mind, I know I'm 77 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 3: speaking about business here, but it kind of all like relates. Yes, 78 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 3: you want to show up as the best version of 79 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 3: yourself when you're doing a job interview, but also like 80 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 3: I want to see you for who you really are, 81 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 3: because it's very easy to show up and say all 82 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 3: the things that you think the other person wants to hear, 83 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 3: but then that's not going to be the truth when 84 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 3: you get the job. The same ways like a relationship, 85 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 3: when you go on a date, like you're always your 86 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 3: best self. You want to be the best version of yourself. 87 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 3: You want to get dressed up to the nines. But 88 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 3: I think that could like make it trickier, yeah, you know, 89 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 3: rather than just showing up and being authentically yourself. 90 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think as well. It's interesting that you pointed 91 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 2: out like that you're a queer person and I don't 92 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 2: know was there a name or was this anonymous? 93 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 4: Anonymous? 94 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I don't know whether you're like what you 95 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 2: identify as, what gender you are, et cetera. But obviously, 96 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 2: like as a gay man dating in the LGBTQA plus space, 97 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 2: my whole life has been like and I did it all. 98 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 2: I've done every single bloody app I've done speed dating 99 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,719 Speaker 2: in real live I've done you. Yeah, I did speed 100 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 2: dating one time, which just became a bit of a 101 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 2: piss take, and like I just it. I was like, no, 102 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 2: I'm in a room full of like everyone's like muscly 103 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 2: ten out of ten gorgeous, and I'm just like, this 104 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,160 Speaker 2: is just like harrowing for me, you know what I mean. So, like, 105 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 2: I've done it all. I've done the blind dates, I've 106 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 2: done really exciting dates, I've done really not exciting dates. 107 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 2: And the things that seem to like work have worked 108 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,479 Speaker 2: have been like when you keep it as natural and 109 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 2: authentic as possible and when it just kind of seamlessly happens. 110 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 2: I think about all the good relationships that I've had 111 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,839 Speaker 2: in my life, and that is when they've actually I've 112 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 2: gone into it. I guess not trying to be someone 113 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 2: that I'm not, which I know comes like that's probably 114 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 2: what this person's pressure and saying. I get inside my 115 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 2: head it's like, oh, how do I be the best and. 116 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 1: Be yeah, say all the right things and tell them 117 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:48,679 Speaker 1: what they want. 118 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,720 Speaker 2: To hear, right, And it's like, you may as well 119 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 2: just go into it first of all with low expectations. 120 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,040 Speaker 2: I think that's always a good thing. Like like, instead 121 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,479 Speaker 2: of going in and being like, oh my god, this 122 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 2: could be my future husband or wife or whatever, go 123 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 2: into it being like I could never see this person again, 124 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 2: because anything else would then be better than what you expected. 125 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 2: I think that's like one thing that I used to 126 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 2: do is be like this could be a one and done, 127 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 2: because then it flips the thinking. 128 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 3: You don't have such high expectations going in, and then 129 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 3: you're extremely disappointed orreas if you go in like I 130 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 3: would say neutral, going neutral, don't think this could be 131 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 3: my forever. 132 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 4: Don't think this is going to be the worst. Going neutral. 133 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 2: But also then if you think like, the less you think, 134 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 2: I think, the less effort you like put in Like 135 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,160 Speaker 2: I think if I was like when I would think, 136 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 2: oh my god, I want to be with this guy forever, 137 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 2: like this could be my future husband, like I'm going 138 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 2: to so much effort to impress him. But then if 139 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 2: I was, when I changed my thinking to be like 140 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 2: low expectations, I wouldn't put in as much effort, in 141 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 2: which means they're just getting my authentic They're getting what 142 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,600 Speaker 2: they're going to get from me, Madrid, you know what 143 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 2: I mean. And I think as well, flipping the thinking 144 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 2: as well from you know, going and you know you 145 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 2: said it's like a job interview, and I think dropping 146 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:09,480 Speaker 2: that from being a job interviewers in like are they 147 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 2: going to be the best position? Like are they going 148 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 2: to fill the position of being with me? How? Like 149 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 2: what are the words I'm trying to say here, but 150 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 2: flipping it as if to be like are you going 151 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 2: to fit into into their them? Does that make sense? 152 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 2: Kind of like instead of putting the pressure on is 153 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 2: this human going to be my match? Flip it and 154 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 2: be like am I what this person is looking for? 155 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 2: And if I'm not what they're looking for, then that's 156 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 2: on them, not me. I couldn't have done anything more 157 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 2: because I'm not what they're looking for and that's okay. 158 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 2: I think like sitting with that as a queer person 159 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 2: and like being okay with not being that person's cup 160 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 2: of tea is totally valid, you know, think about yourself, 161 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 2: not everyone as your cup of tea. I'm assuming. Yeah, 162 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 2: So I think like flipping that script and sort of saying, 163 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 2: am I the jigsaw puzzle that fits in their life? 164 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 2: If not, well that's them. 165 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 3: And also don't like then pressure yourself to change who 166 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 3: you are to fit in that person's life for sure, 167 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 3: which I think we can do as well when we're dating, 168 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 3: and if we think we like someone, we can often 169 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 3: then shape and mold ourselves to be who we think 170 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 3: that person needs. When I think it's important to just 171 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 3: you know, be be yourself, know who you are, and 172 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 3: don't feel like you need to change anything about yourself 173 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 3: to fit into that person's life because you really like them. 174 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think like, at the end of the day, 175 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 2: taking things a little less seriously is also you know, 176 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 2: I think I would fall into the trap of like 177 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 2: I would like find a guy or start dating a 178 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 2: guy or talking to a guy, and I'd be like, 179 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,839 Speaker 2: this is gonna be my fut trustmand, do you know 180 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 2: what I mean? Like I'd go zero to one hundred 181 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 2: really quickly, and everybody else would be cut off and 182 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 2: I'd be like options open. Yeah, he is my main focus, 183 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 2: and here we go. And then you know, it's more 184 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 2: about just keeping it cash, having fun and not making 185 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 2: someone like your entire focus until obviously the time calls 186 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,719 Speaker 2: for it, and then it's like, okay, but yeah, that's 187 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 2: a good way to put it, like keep your options open. 188 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 2: I just feel like I used to go too hard, 189 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 2: too fast, and then it would be like heartbreak when. 190 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 4: I think back to like no offense. 191 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 3: And I think I've said this before, like ages ago 192 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:38,679 Speaker 3: on the pod, every relationship that I had before AJ 193 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 3: was just a massive waste. 194 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 4: Of the time, Like a massive waste of time. 195 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 3: But I think, like when we're younger, I we're in 196 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 3: our early twenties, like you have to go through all 197 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 3: of that, right, But then like when you finally do 198 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,720 Speaker 3: find your partner, like it makes perfect sense and everything 199 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 3: that you did beforehand is like why did I bother? 200 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 2: As I always say, everything in life is either a 201 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 2: blessing or a lesson. You know, you've got to date 202 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,839 Speaker 2: the duds to learn the lessons and understand what you 203 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,559 Speaker 2: actually want in a partner. 204 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 4: And don't settle for less No. 205 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 2: God no, but dating should be fun, Like I think that, Yeah, 206 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 2: I absolutely know what you mean, Like, how do you 207 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 2: get out of your own head? Look, I've been there, 208 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 2: but I think that's like all I can say is 209 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 2: it's up to you to get out of your own head. 210 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 2: I can't really help with that at the end of 211 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,439 Speaker 2: the day. But I just think if you remember that 212 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 2: dating should be fun, you should be having a good time. 213 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, regardless of whether like, yes, some dates could be terrible, 214 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 3: but like just make the most of it in the 215 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 3: moment and have fun and just know at the end 216 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,600 Speaker 3: of the day, if you're feeling like stressed out about 217 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 3: being single or like you're having no luck with dates, like, 218 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 3: there's absolutely going to definitely be someone out there who 219 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 3: is going to be your person. Yeah, Like, don't feel 220 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 3: like you have to like be a different person or 221 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 3: change the way you are or act a certain way 222 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:00,960 Speaker 3: for someone to want to be with you. There's one 223 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 3: hundred percent your person out there, if not multiple. 224 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 2: If we had to like a date right now, say 225 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 2: we were single and like tonight you had a date 226 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 2: with someone, what kind of questions are you asking them? 227 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 2: Because I know, in like our main episode a couple 228 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,200 Speaker 2: of weeks ago, we were saying that asking them, like 229 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 2: what dinosaur is your favorite would be a good thing, Like, 230 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,680 Speaker 2: because I think the other thing as well is when 231 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 2: I did go on dates like that, I always kept 232 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 2: it serious or we kind of talked about like you 233 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 2: know serious. 234 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 3: See, it's been so long since I've been on a 235 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,839 Speaker 3: first date obviously, and when a Jane I got together, 236 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,200 Speaker 3: we never even went on a date, like we just 237 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 3: kind of started hanging out like it was normal. 238 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,319 Speaker 4: So I don't know what kind of questions. 239 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,640 Speaker 3: I would ask, Like obviously you got to ask all 240 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:54,079 Speaker 3: the normal questions if you haven't already, because it depends 241 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 3: like have you already been chatting online, you know, do 242 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 3: you know the basics or are you just meeting this 243 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 3: person for the first time. But I would almost just 244 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 3: not put pressure on myself to have good questions to 245 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 3: ask them, Like I would hope that you know, if 246 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,959 Speaker 3: you're going on your first date together and you are 247 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 3: going to be a potential good match, that the conversation 248 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,320 Speaker 3: will just flow naturally. 249 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, almost like here on the pod like tangents. 250 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, like start talking with one question and see where 251 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 3: the convo goes. 252 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, what questions would you ask? 253 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 2: I don't know, but it's good because like on Hinge, 254 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 2: I know that you have your prompts and stuff that 255 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 2: you can set up and you can do voice recordings 256 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 2: and things like that, so they keep it kind of fun. 257 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 2: And like the banter starts on your Hinge profile. 258 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 1: Which I think is fun because like typically. 259 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 2: Dattating profiles are like. 260 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 4: Stock standard boring. 261 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, whereas with hints, like you can be a 262 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,079 Speaker 2: bit fun with it and like make jokes. 263 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 3: And I've actually seen really funny tiktoks. Man, have you 264 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 3: seen them where you know, in Hinge you can get 265 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,440 Speaker 3: your bestie to record like a voice note for you. 266 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,959 Speaker 4: But have you seen the really funny ones? 267 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, where they get their friends to say the most 268 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 3: funny things about them, Or have you seen the ones 269 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:02,199 Speaker 3: where they play like sound effects in the background and 270 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 3: pretend that they're somewhere that they're. 271 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 2: Not, So you can have fun with it and you 272 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 2: could like start that banter there and then like that. 273 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,760 Speaker 3: That's what I would do if I was on Hinge, 274 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 3: I would have the funniest voice being set up on 275 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 3: my profile. 276 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. See, my friend is like obsessed with his hinge 277 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,959 Speaker 2: and his hinge is like a comedy show. Like I 278 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 2: pissed myself at his Hinge profile because of the way 279 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 2: that he set it up, and it is the biggest 280 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 2: conversation starter. So then all I'm saying is like, see, 281 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 2: if that's the banter you're having already online, then you 282 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 2: don't have to get in your head and be serious 283 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,440 Speaker 2: when you go on a date, Like they know. 284 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 3: That you're funny. That's good as well. Back when I 285 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,960 Speaker 3: was single and I was on the dating apps, it 286 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 3: was just your photos. 287 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 4: And like a little text box. 288 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:49,559 Speaker 3: So I feel like it's really cool that Hinge has 289 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,199 Speaker 3: so many cool fun features where you can show more 290 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 3: of who you are, your personality, your voice, yea, make 291 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,920 Speaker 3: a comedy sketch in a voice note. 292 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's hilarious. 293 00:13:59,600 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 1: Yeah. 294 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 2: I feel like the questions I would ask would be 295 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 2: one building off what they're already saying on their profile obviously, 296 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 2: like if there's a something kind of niche, that would 297 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,840 Speaker 2: be a fun interesting topic. But say, say they are funny, 298 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 2: like let's talk about comedians. Then I don't want to 299 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:17,800 Speaker 2: know what you want to do for work. I don't 300 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 2: really care what your kids like, like whether you want kids, 301 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 2: whether you've got kids, whether whatever. Like I mean, I 302 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 2: don't know if those things would probably already be established anyway, 303 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 2: But I'm kind of like someone who see, Actually, that's 304 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 2: a good question for you, Britt. Would you rather know 305 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 2: if someone wants kids, etc. In that first date or 306 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 2: is that like something that we can talk about down 307 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 2: the track after I've gotten to know your personality. 308 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 3: I think it depends on your age, so like being 309 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,200 Speaker 3: my age now, like in your thirties. I think that's 310 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 3: a question people would ask quite early on because I 311 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 3: think it's good to know people's intentions, Like if you 312 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 3: absolutely don't want kids and you're set on that, I 313 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 3: think it's important to have that conversation with the potential 314 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 3: match early on, so that you don't like date for 315 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 3: six months and then get to the question they're like, oh, no, 316 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 3: I definitely want kids and you're like, oh, well, I don't, right, 317 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 3: So I think, like just depending on your circumstance and age, 318 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 3: I feel like it is good to have that conversation 319 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 3: early on. 320 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 2: See my thing is, I don't know where there much 321 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 2: should be a deal breaker for me, Like if I yeah, 322 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 2: I mean I yeah no, But actually, now they think 323 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 2: about it, I also would not change my mind, so 324 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 2: like it's probably a deal. 325 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 3: Breaker for them, Like yeah, at our age in our thirties, 326 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 3: it is good to ask all those important questions, especially 327 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,480 Speaker 3: when it comes to like lifestyle and having. 328 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 2: Kids, uh huh. 329 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 1: And it's like an easy conversation to. 330 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,000 Speaker 2: Have as well, see my yeah, But what I was 331 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 2: trying to say is you say, like six months down 332 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,400 Speaker 2: the track, then you find out they don't want kids, 333 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 2: and you do, oh no, what do we do here? 334 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 2: I'm like, but if you have a connection, why does 335 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 2: that matter? 336 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 1: Because like because what if one wants kids then the 337 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 1: other one doesn't. 338 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 2: But like, if you're so, it's got more to do 339 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 2: with the relationship itself, because if in six month time, 340 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 2: you're like, this is the love of my life and 341 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:02,960 Speaker 2: I'll do anything for them and I want to be 342 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 2: with them forever. If they don't want kids, me as 343 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 2: like me as myself, I'm going they don't want kids, 344 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 2: that's fine. I can go without kids. 345 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 1: Like some people, that's like a deal breaker for them, right. 346 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,960 Speaker 2: So what I'm saying is I think that reflects though 347 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 2: on the relationship that's thus far, Because if the relationship 348 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 2: is going to work anyway, then the kids won't be 349 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,960 Speaker 2: an issue. But if the relationship isn't going to work, 350 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 2: I think it's not the fact that they do or 351 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 2: don't want kids. I think it's the factors surrounding the 352 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 2: relationship that make the deal breaker a deal breaker, is 353 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,600 Speaker 2: what I'm trying to say. If that makes sense. 354 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 1: I mean, if I absolutely didn't want kids, see if. 355 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,400 Speaker 2: AJ tomorrow was like, I want kids, right now, and 356 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 2: there is nothing else you could say about it. Like 357 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 2: for Sky, Sky and I have had the conversation we 358 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 2: both don't want kids. If Sky tomorrow went, Babe, I 359 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 2: think I really want to have a kid, I'm not going, well, sorry, babe, 360 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 2: I absolutely don't. It then becomes an open conversation where. 361 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, sh see, I think I would be set 362 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 1: or no. 363 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 2: And you just go by aj find someone else have 364 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 2: a kid with you. 365 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:01,600 Speaker 4: Yeah. 366 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 2: For me, it becomes an open conversation. I go, okay, babe, well, 367 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 2: if this is really something you want, let's actually talk 368 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,239 Speaker 2: about it, weigh it up, make sure it's something that 369 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 2: you want. Yeah, And then if he's like I need 370 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,439 Speaker 2: a kid or I'd go, then you fucking raise it. 371 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,080 Speaker 4: My own kid is a big thing. 372 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 3: Like I'm like, I definitely don't want kids, and all 373 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 3: of a sudden, AG is like, I want kids. I'm 374 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 3: not just gonna go okay, our relationship is so good stuff, 375 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,400 Speaker 3: let's have a kid. 376 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,320 Speaker 4: Because that's a big truth. 377 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,040 Speaker 2: I guess that is what it sounded like I was saying, 378 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 2: and I said, yeah, I get it. I get it. Anyway, 379 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,160 Speaker 2: this is such a conversation that we could talk about 380 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 2: for I mean, we could go round and round in 381 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,640 Speaker 2: circles with this for ages. But anyway, how to get 382 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 2: out of your head? Unfortunately, I feel like it's just 383 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,080 Speaker 2: one of those things that we just have to say. Yeah. 384 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, But if you just keep it. 385 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 2: Fun, you don't put too many expectations on it. You 386 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 2: just have fun with dating. It should be fun, you know, don't. 387 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 3: Say like you always know like you know, and it's 388 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 3: so easy to ignore little yellow flags or red flags. 389 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 4: But trust your gut with dating. 390 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 3: If something seems yeah, if something seems off, if something 391 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 3: seems too good to be true, it most likely definitely is. 392 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's our advice to you. 393 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 2: But that helps. But that helps. And you know what 394 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,879 Speaker 2: I've said at once and I'll say it again, I 395 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:24,680 Speaker 2: can you know, enjoy being single as well, a lot 396 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 2: of people are focused on enjoy being on the on 397 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 2: the hinge of it all. And because you know, I 398 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 2: mean very happy in my relationship, but when my friend 399 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 2: shows me his. 400 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 5: Fun and I enjoy yourselves while you're single, Yeah, I 401 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,639 Speaker 5: would much rather be single and like having fun with 402 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 5: it than being in a relationship and miserable, fighting all 403 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,120 Speaker 5: the time for sure, or not happy, which a lot 404 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:51,119 Speaker 5: of people aren't happy in their relationships. 405 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever you're doing, just make sure you're having fun anyway, 406 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,719 Speaker 2: See your next Tuesday.