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Speaker 1: Gooday, thanks for downloading the episode.

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Speaker 2: My name is O Schickensburg. You're you, and this is

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Speaker 2: a podcast called Better Than Yesterday. Useful tools and useful

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Speaker 2: conversations to help make your.

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Speaker 1: Day today better than yesterday.

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Speaker 2: And we do that every single episode, and we've been

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Speaker 2: doing it since twenty thirteen. And I have to tell

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Speaker 2: you if sunlight is the best disinfectant for ideas. My

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Speaker 2: guest today is a ten Terra Watts soul a farm.

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Speaker 1: Masquerading as a stand up comedian.

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Speaker 2: Daniel Sloss is one of the most fearless voices in

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Speaker 2: stand up comedy. For nearly two decades now, he has

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Speaker 2: just been an absolute powerhouse, building a global audience.

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Speaker 1: Not from playing it safe, but by walking directly.

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Speaker 2: Up to the line and then even ask you, why

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Speaker 2: is that line there?

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Speaker 1: Why do we have that line there?

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Speaker 2: He's made a career out of challenging audiences to laugh

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Speaker 2: at things that most of the time we all find

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Speaker 2: deeply uncomfortable. Politics, masculinity, grief. I love his work and

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Speaker 2: I love chatting with him. We spoke on the podcast

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Speaker 2: before last time. He was on tour with a young child. Understandably,

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Speaker 2: he took some time away from the stage so he

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Speaker 2: could be at home. And now Sloss is returning to

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Speaker 2: Australia with his latest show, Bitter. This conversation very much

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Speaker 2: follows on from our last chat, which is an excellent primer.

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Speaker 1: I recommend you scroll back through the feed and find it.

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Speaker 2: In today's conversation, we speak about fatherhood, anonymity and the Internet,

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Speaker 2: the difference between kindness and weakness insecurity, and a strange

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Speaker 2: emotional whiplash of going from three thousand people calling your

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Speaker 2: name to then sitting at home negotiating and losing with

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Speaker 2: two young children.

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Speaker 1: When I caught up with Sloths, it was the.

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Speaker 2: Wee hours of the morning in Scotland.

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Speaker 1: And the late hours of the day here in Sydney.

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Speaker 2: Well, I for one am grateful to be joining your

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Speaker 2: gigantic World of Warcraft Land party tonight. It's pretty excited.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, which I got told because I think I've

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Speaker 3: got like a broadcaster system, because you know, I occasionally

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Speaker 3: do podcasting here with my friend Kai, and then at

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Speaker 3: my publicist was like, oh, the past couple of interviews

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Speaker 3: you've done, the make quality has been rubbish, so you

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Speaker 3: have to use headphones. But all my headphones are Bluetooth

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Speaker 3: and I thought I had to connect that to computer

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Speaker 3: because I'm not learning how to do that. It's passed

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Speaker 3: my time, so my PlayStation is over there. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: I do look, I do look like I'm playing you.

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Speaker 3: That's a very dated reference, but you're lucky. I love

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Speaker 3: World of Warcraft like World War.

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Speaker 2: I know it's a data reference, but you know, I've

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Speaker 2: been following your work for some time and the story

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Speaker 2: you tell about oh, and we'll get to this. We'll

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Speaker 2: get to this because you do tell a story about Yes, mum,

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Speaker 2: I'm writing comedy and on the other side, you know,

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Speaker 2: trying to do some sort of thing, but you are.

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Speaker 2: It was on a PlayStation. That was my first and

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Speaker 2: last ever decision to ever play any network games, because

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Speaker 2: I'm slawer on the trigger finger when I'm putting a

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Speaker 2: public arena, you know, like, I think that'll be fucking

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Speaker 2: fun play a network game, and I hear this eleven

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Speaker 2: year old kid with a text and accent. This is

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Speaker 2: on to know two thousand and six, when I've got

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Speaker 2: my first Xbox. You know, some eleven year old kid

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Speaker 2: with the text and accent goes, how.

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Speaker 3: Did fucking selm he fucking owned by.

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Speaker 2: A fucking tex and I'm like, I don't need I

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Speaker 2: don't need to play this.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, I'm out about I was. I was

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Speaker 3: that kid, so like back in I think it was

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Speaker 3: I think Xbox Live came out in I'm going to

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Speaker 3: say two thousand and three, two thousand and four, my

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Speaker 3: parents bought me an Xbox Regil Unreal Tournament was the game. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And I loved that right, and it was just for me.

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Speaker 3: I remember being like giving these head forwards and my

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Speaker 3: dad explaining that I would be playing with strangers form

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Speaker 3: around the world, and like the first game, I was

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Speaker 3: talking to this guy from Boston. I think he was like,

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Speaker 3: I mean, in my head he was fifty five, but

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Speaker 3: he was probably only twenty too, but like that's what

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Speaker 3: I age felt like to me at the time. And

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Speaker 3: we teamed up and we were talking to each other

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Speaker 3: and it was great, and I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: this is like the future of humanity, just connecting us

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Speaker 3: across across your large distances. And then in the next game,

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Speaker 3: and I'm not proud of this, and feel free to

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Speaker 3: bleep it, but it is true. Once I realized the

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Speaker 3: power of anonymity and the fact that I was talking

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Speaker 3: to people overseas who couldn't do anything to me. All

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Speaker 3: I would do was push every single button I have

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Speaker 3: because I'm thirty and I don't have fully developed empathy yet.

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Speaker 3: But that's when I knew the Internet was facked. That's

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Speaker 3: and ever since I was like, I was like, I

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Speaker 3: think it should be illegal to be a non. I

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Speaker 3: think any social media anything, when you're talking to anyone else,

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Speaker 3: it should be you know, your face, your job, everything,

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Speaker 3: and there should be a back catalog of everything you've said,

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Speaker 3: like society, like society. Like the reason society works really

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Speaker 3: well is if you're an arsehole all the time, people

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Speaker 3: in your community will be like that guy over there

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Speaker 3: is a you know, he burned that building down. He's

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Speaker 3: root to those neighbors, he's racist to the people who

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Speaker 3: work in the shop there. And your community tells any

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Speaker 3: newcomers that you're a piece of share, so there's less

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Speaker 3: chance that you can fuck with people who don't know you.

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Speaker 3: The Internet needs to have that.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't agree more. And now, in this age of

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Speaker 2: you know Armenian or me and ma bot Farms and

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Speaker 2: you know NA and n kind of megapolitical auto commenters,

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Speaker 2: I yearn for a thirteen year old not understanding what

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Speaker 2: they're talking to me about. Because at least you can

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Speaker 2: sit down and if you ever found a chat you

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Speaker 2: could say, I come out. I understand that in Scotland

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Speaker 2: it might not make much sense, but my entire family

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Speaker 2: died that day, and you know you could at least

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Speaker 2: have a conversation with a human being about it. But yes,

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Speaker 2: the other you sit here being as the trolley, taking

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Speaker 2: a full brain and having those enormous and mediate emotional

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Speaker 2: responses even though you know it's written by a machine,

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Speaker 2: and then your day is fucking out the winner.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's more like whenever I sometimes videos will come

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Speaker 3: up with my algorithm and I'm like, why is this

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Speaker 3: in my algorithm? I'm an angry, miserable person. And then

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Speaker 3: you go into the comments, and it's so easy to

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Speaker 3: because I want to. I'm aware that I'm a big

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Speaker 3: soft web right, and I'm aware that like there's no

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Speaker 3: there's almost no such thing as a good news source anymore,

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Speaker 3: so like I do try to see what the other

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Speaker 3: side is thinking. And then you go into the comment

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Speaker 3: section and it's just so easy to click on account

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Speaker 3: that says something and be like, I see zero posts

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Speaker 3: and be like, right, well, just ban that one. That

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Speaker 3: one's banned forever, that one's a bot, that one's there too.

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Speaker 3: So discord amongst societies that have democracy to get rid

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Speaker 3: of it. But then again, maybe not. Maybe all the soft,

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Speaker 3: lovely comments being like oh my, you know, say positive things,

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Speaker 3: maybe those are just bots.

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Speaker 2: I would I would disagree. I disagree with that entirely

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Speaker 2: because there's less engagement and it's been scientifically proven there's

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Speaker 2: less engagement with Hey, good on your pal at a boy.

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Speaker 2: Though it does give us I think it's the availability

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Speaker 2: bias to the availability heuristic. We then get this illusion that,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, the world is on fire because we've

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Speaker 2: taken the urinals out and put in just cubicles. Ah,

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Speaker 2: someone's going to try to change my child's gender before recess.

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Speaker 2: But that's not actually real. But you, sir, have been

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Speaker 2: conducting you know, don't You say you can't really believe

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Speaker 2: a news source, And bear in mind you are polling

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Speaker 2: a very select self selecting cohort, but fifty something countries probably,

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Speaker 2: and I'm gonna blow smoke where it should be blind

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Speaker 2: at least a thousand people. Every time you have seen

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Speaker 2: the line of what people will get on board with

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Speaker 2: and not over some time. Now give me even the break.

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Speaker 2: We'll go to the break. We'll talk about the break

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Speaker 2: in a minute. But you talk about the line and

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Speaker 2: the last special that you shot in Istanbul, which I love.

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Speaker 2: You talk about how the line moves. Where have you

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Speaker 2: seen the line move?

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean it depends that I mostly performed to

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Speaker 3: Bleeding Heart Lips. Right, my audience is there. I would

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Speaker 3: love to be I would I love whenever my comedy

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Speaker 3: is able to reach across the aisle and find the

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Speaker 3: center right people. I think that's what good comedy should be.

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Speaker 3: I think it takes very little skill to be a

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Speaker 3: left wing comedian and to say things that left wing

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Speaker 3: people agree with and get around of applause for that,

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Speaker 3: in the same way that I don't think it takes

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Speaker 3: much skill for right wing comedians to, you know, do

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Speaker 3: what they do, which is just say dumb, hack, racist, transphobic,

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Speaker 3: comophobic things and get the applause. I think you've got to,

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Speaker 3: you know, appeal to not the fringes of both sides,

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Speaker 3: but the center of both sides, because you should be

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Speaker 3: able to make points in that way. I've seen the

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Speaker 3: line change, but it really depends where you are. I mean,

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Speaker 3: my audience is sixty six percent women, so I sort

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Speaker 3: of like have a responsibility to challenge the audience in

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Speaker 3: front of me. And what that does involve is, you know,

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Speaker 3: trying to tread the line of ironic sexism in a

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Speaker 3: time where women are I guess, more under attack in

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Speaker 3: the Western world than they've been probably in the last

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Speaker 3: fifteen twenty years in terms of, you know, their rights

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Speaker 3: and their safety and the way that they are viewed.

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Speaker 3: And that is difficult, and it's something I do get

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Speaker 3: wrong and have gotten wrong, and I'm sure I will

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Speaker 3: get it wrong again at times. But I guess that's

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Speaker 3: a challenge to stand up every time the line moves.

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Speaker 3: I want to get as close to it as possible.

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Speaker 3: What that does mean is mistakes will we make.

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Speaker 2: We have a thing in Australia that ABC is similar

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Speaker 2: to the BBC. They have a thing called the Vote

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Speaker 2: Compass where you kind of check on things you care

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Speaker 2: about around an election time. And I thought, I'm definitely

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Speaker 2: going to show up way on the left, like they

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Speaker 2: can't make a green enough logo for me, because I

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Speaker 2: feel so differently about the things I see in the

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Speaker 2: newspapers turns out I was in the center, my kind

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Speaker 2: of my right should leaning on the wall the whole time,

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Speaker 2: and it's weird, you know. So I don't think you

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Speaker 2: when I listen to you, I don't think you'll particularly

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Speaker 2: completely screaming lefty at all. You're probably mostly interested the empathy.

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Speaker 3: I fucking hate the Guardian. I hate everyone who writes

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Speaker 3: for the Guardian. I read it some days just to

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Speaker 3: be like, oh, yeah, no, I fucking hate most of

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Speaker 3: these people. This is dumb. And people who write in

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Speaker 3: this newspaper are the reason why the right wing will

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Speaker 3: continue to beat the left, because you know, is it

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Speaker 3: journalism or is it just point scoring whining? And also, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I think it's stupid for comedians to define themselves. I

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Speaker 3: don't want to call myself left wing because again I

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Speaker 3: fucking hate the left wing, because the left wing are

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Speaker 3: the reason why the governments I want never get it,

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Speaker 3: because the left wing are so always to bully and

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Speaker 3: so easy to wind up and so easy to party

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Speaker 3: because there is no nuance, there is no empathy. Like,

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Speaker 3: you know, as much as I just like the right wing,

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Speaker 3: the one thing they do consistently get right about the

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Speaker 3: left wing is so much for the tolerant left. Like

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Speaker 3: if you if you want to talk about why young

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Speaker 3: men are going to the right wing, it's because it's

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Speaker 3: the only place that allows them to stumble and fall.

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Speaker 3: It's the only place that has open arms when they

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Speaker 3: make a mistake. There is no such thing as forgiveness

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Speaker 3: on the left.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to go one further, Daniel, like, I fucking

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Speaker 2: hate vegans and I'm vegan. I can't I tell people

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Speaker 2: I just I'm plant based. I'd never use that word.

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Speaker 2: I don't use that word, and I don't want to

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Speaker 2: that word because I'm like, no, I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: show you footage of avatoire. I'm not going to do that.

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to be I'm not going to make

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Speaker 2: meet his murder things while you're eating. I'm not going

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Speaker 2: to talk about how to that face taste. I'm not

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Speaker 2: going to say anything like that. What you put in

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Speaker 2: your mouth is your business. But for God's sakes, fucking

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Speaker 2: pipe down, guys at some point though, because you can't,

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Speaker 2: I can't stand it is. You can never be pure

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Speaker 2: enough ever. And it's a really interesting microcosm of what

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Speaker 2: happens on that side of things, and it just shoots

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Speaker 2: itself in the foot every time by trying to bully

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Speaker 2: people into it.

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Speaker 3: Trying to be a good person on the left wing

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Speaker 3: is like trying to speak French in Paris. It's the

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Speaker 3: most unrewarding thing in the world. It's just the most

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Speaker 3: snootiest precks desperate for you to fail and to tell

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Speaker 3: you how much you've failed. And then you're like, well,

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Speaker 3: I guess I'll just not go a fucking Paris then,

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Speaker 3: whereas what being right wing is, being right wing is

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Speaker 3: going to fucking Singapore and be like, I don't speak noodles,

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Speaker 3: I don't understand what you're fucking saying. Like it's which

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Speaker 3: just easier, and that's why people are going right wing

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Speaker 3: because it's so fucking easy. It's so easy. I could

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Speaker 3: do it, Oh man, I would be I would be

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Speaker 3: a multi fucking millionaire if the amount of times the

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Speaker 3: left wing is trying to fuck it got you. Ah,

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Speaker 3: you were epocritical, You were a human being. For a

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Speaker 3: brief moment, we saw growth, and we don't accept growth.

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Speaker 3: If I could just fucking cash and that goddamn right

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Speaker 3: wing check right. Millions and millions and millions of years

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Speaker 3: we spoke last time you were lining up to come

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Speaker 3: down to the Comedy Festival, you were on the Gold Coast,

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Speaker 3: you had only.

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Speaker 2: One job at the time. And yes we touched on

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Speaker 2: this because I listened to it again because it was

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Speaker 2: a fucking great conversation. But we spoke about when you

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Speaker 2: were just eighteen MILLENNI or manager insisted, no, Daniel, write

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Speaker 2: a fucking hour show, get in there, right the show,

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Speaker 2: besides all the world of warcraft. Mum, I really no,

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Speaker 2: you did write a lot. You treat it like a job.

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Speaker 2: It was work, work, work, work, work with your mum,

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Speaker 2: and your manager insisted, no, right the show, right the show.

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Speaker 2: So your life becomes right, work out a material tour,

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Speaker 2: record the special right work at material tour record the vision.

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Speaker 2: Years and years and years and years and years and years.

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Speaker 2: Something's always there to occupy your day, and you know what,

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Speaker 2: the next day there's a new place completely is novelty, novelty, novelty, novelty, novelty.

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Speaker 2: And then you take time off and it's the same

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Speaker 2: bed and the same house and the same thing every day.

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Speaker 2: What was that like?

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Speaker 3: Happiest I've ever been in my life, Happiest I've ever

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Speaker 3: been in my life, nor comparison.

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Speaker 2: Now I have to ask, but what about for the

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Speaker 2: people that live with you?

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Speaker 3: Oh, a different story. No, no, no, Like my son

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Speaker 3: was over the murder. He was confused for it. Bat

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Speaker 3: But let you know, because I for like eighteen months

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Speaker 3: he was like the only kid in like at nursery

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Speaker 3: or at parks or soft plays with both parents there,

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Speaker 3: like there's always whoever the bread wedding parent and other

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Speaker 3: families would be at work during the day, whereas he

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Speaker 3: had both mom and dad there and he loved it,

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Speaker 3: and he was a bit confused by it. And then

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Speaker 3: obviously I get you know, I get all this undeserved credit,

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Speaker 3: being like, oh my god, what a present father. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: you don't understand how often I'm away, and even when

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Speaker 3: I'm fully present, my wife is still you know, I

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Speaker 3: do my best to get close to like fifty to

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Speaker 3: fifty with my wife. That's obviously the dream. But you know,

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Speaker 3: the bitch had a head start. You know, you're never

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Speaker 3: going to get fifty to fifty with your wife because

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Speaker 3: she birthed the children. She's before long before you even

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Speaker 3: started being a father. She was a mother, right, There's

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Speaker 3: no there, so that you've got to put this extra

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Speaker 3: effort in at all times. My wife. My wife loved it.

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Speaker 3: I mean it was there was an adjustment period where

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Speaker 3: you know, I didn't really know. I didn't have any hobbies.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know how to take time off. I didn't

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Speaker 3: know how to like shut my brain off in a way.

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Speaker 3: And then yeah, I'm just came to see my daughter

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Speaker 3: and grow up, my son grow up, and you know,

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Speaker 3: be around. It was the best. Like I And this

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Speaker 3: isn't me complaining about stand up. God, I'm so privileged

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Speaker 3: to get to do this job. It's my favorite thing

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Speaker 3: and I'll never stop doing it. But it robs you

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Speaker 3: of the ability to have a routine. And I'd never

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Speaker 3: really understood before how much a routine was crucial to

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Speaker 3: my brain, Like being at home, being on the road

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Speaker 3: and being sober is impossible to me, Like I just

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Speaker 3: cannot do it. Like if I if I'm in an

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Speaker 3: airport every day, I need to be stoned otherwise I'm

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Speaker 3: going to punch strangers in the back of the head

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Speaker 3: for not understanding that you have to take your fucking

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Speaker 3: built off.

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Speaker 2: Then it would be a beautiful full circle moment if

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Speaker 2: you did end up on your friend Nick Cody's podcast

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Speaker 2: about plane fights.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been saws. I've been

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Speaker 3: closed a couple of times. And it's always pensioners. It's

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Speaker 3: always pensioners.

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Speaker 2: It's not their fault, like they just they they pay

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Speaker 2: their taxes and now they're just like I voted every

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Speaker 2: my house should just be going up ten percent a year.

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Speaker 2: And now what do you mean I have to do

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Speaker 2: something inconvenient? Fuck me. We would not put my frank

333
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Speaker 2: in credits.

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Speaker 3: Honey, what's going on? Yeah, I just I just think

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Speaker 3: we should stop. Look to every medical marvel that there

336
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 3: has been, stomp stomp, So let's work on cancer. Let's stop.

337
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,120
Speaker 3: Once you're over eighty. There's no cure for anything. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 3: that's it's done.

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Speaker 2: There's an interesting set that I found, Like when I

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Speaker 2: was living in the States, it was ninety eight percent

341
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Speaker 2: of all healthcare costs in a lifetime occur in the

342
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Speaker 2: last two years of your life. And if we rethought

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Speaker 2: our relationship to death, we might be able to use

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Speaker 2: that money for something else. For example, perhaps give to

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Speaker 2: our children or charity, or invest it in some sort

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Speaker 2: of interesting thing that makes the world better.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't want to wish death on anyone. But

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Speaker 3: whoever that guy trying to live forever is, I am

349
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Speaker 3: going to laugh so fucking hard when he dies. I

350
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,680
Speaker 3: don't think because of his stupid insecurity that he deserves

351
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Speaker 3: to die because of that, but it will be objectively

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Speaker 3: funny when he dies. Before me a man who did

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Speaker 3: cocaine for fifteen years, has smoked weed since he was

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Speaker 3: thirteen and dragged. But I cannot wait to outlive that

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Speaker 3: sad loser.

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Speaker 2: So you mentioned cocaine. It's the thing that happens on

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Speaker 2: the road. I you know, personally, I never liked the

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Speaker 2: way it made me feel, but I did enjoy the

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Speaker 2: smell of it.

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Speaker 3: And yes, yeah, I'm nearly.

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Speaker 2: Sixteen years sober now, Daniel, because I had to stop.

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Speaker 2: Because I appreciate that, but I just had just five

363
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Speaker 2: minutes at a time. Sometimes I'm I'm gonna be honest

364
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 2: with you. Sometimes it's an now at a time, but

365
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 2: it's always better you just remember for a second, Oh

366
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Speaker 2: that's right. If I start again, i'll die. No, thank you,

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Speaker 2: I won't have one, and that's it. My joke would be,

368
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:19,880
Speaker 2: like I have an allergy to alcohol. When I drink,

369
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Speaker 2: I break out and fuck with but yeah, and I'm

370
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Speaker 2: going to sound like a complete prick here, And you

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Speaker 2: mentioned you know, best thing ever when you're at home,

372
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Speaker 2: So you're on the road, you're doing drugs, whatever kind

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Speaker 2: they are. You've got all your dope means firing. You're amazing.

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Speaker 2: You're in a city before you were married. You're in

375
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Speaker 2: a city with no responsibilities on a plane in nine

376
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Speaker 2: hours from now. Who knows what life is amazing. I've

377
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,439
Speaker 2: been and doone all of that and the sound of

378
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Speaker 2: my son laughing at a fucked up dad joke that

379
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 2: I made is better than genny of it. But I

380
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 2: couldn't have believed you if you told me.

381
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Speaker 3: At the time. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, like it's

382
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:07,439
Speaker 3: my daughter's laugh is better than cocaine, purely and purely

383
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:11,239
Speaker 3: and simply and much like cocaine. Once I once I

384
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 3: had it for the first time, I was like, Oh,

385
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 3: I'm gonna chase this every fucking day of my goddamn life.

386
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Speaker 3: The only thing I dislike about parenthood is it's the

387
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,920
Speaker 3: first time in my life I've ever been truly scared

388
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Speaker 3: of death. Like when I was in my twenties, like

389
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Speaker 3: death didn't bother me. I mean, I was such an

390
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 3: arrogant piece of shit that I was like, if I

391
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Speaker 3: die at twenty seven, fucking great, then that solidifies all

392
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Speaker 3: of my arrogance, all my inflated view of myself, because

393
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Speaker 3: I'll have joined the twenty seven club and I'll be

394
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Speaker 3: as good as a fucking thinker. If I die before

395
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Speaker 3: I'm fucking forty, at least I won't live long enough

396
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,640
Speaker 3: to see fucking gray hair. The only way to live

397
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Speaker 3: forever as a young person is to die by the

398
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 3: time you're thirty five, Like that's all of that stuff.

399
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,879
Speaker 3: You know, Death didn't bother me. I was scared, you know.

400
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 3: I remember being on planes when there was heavy turbulence

401
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,959
Speaker 3: and I'd get so angry and anyone screaming about the turbulence,

402
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,679
Speaker 3: and I'd be sitting there being like, this is the

403
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,439
Speaker 3: best way to fucking die. A plane crash is the

404
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 3: greatest way to die because it's instant. The only thing

405
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 3: that ruins a plane crash is people around you not

406
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 3: being able to make their peace with their made up God.

407
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 3: Whereas as an atheist, and this has never bothered me,

408
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:31,640
Speaker 3: Whereas now as a dad, truly I want to live

409
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:36,159
Speaker 3: forever like I you know, it's it's yeah, I fucking

410
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 3: hate twenty five year old me for every cigarette he smoked,

411
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 3: for every line that he did, for every time that

412
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 3: you know, he stayed up till seven am instead of

413
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 3: waking up at seven am going to the gym. Because

414
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 3: now you know, it's not about my future. I don't

415
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 3: want to fucking miss you know, I don't want to

416
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 3: miss any of it. And yeah, yeah, terrific, terrified all dialog.

417
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Speaker 2: It is cruel fast, It's faster than any car you've

418
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 2: ever driven, as fast than any playing you've ever been here. Yeah,

419
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 2: and we talked about this last time. How rapidly things change?

420
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 2: Is it with your daughter now? She's she's obviously younger,

421
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 2: are you? Are you more just like one eye of

422
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 2: the whole time is like just in case you missed

423
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 2: figuring out the thumb and the forefinger together.

424
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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I don't think I'm like paying more attention,

425
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 3: but like with my son, like I was like, grow up. Look,

426
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 3: babies are cute, but as a dad, babies are shit.

427
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,680
Speaker 3: You're the janitor. Like they don't love you. You are pointless,

428
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 3: You are useless. My wife breastfeeds as well, so I'm

429
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,919
Speaker 3: just nothing to these babies. Once they get to like

430
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,320
Speaker 3: eighteen months, and you know they're they're walking and they're

431
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 3: laughing and they're you know, my daughter, you know, reaches

432
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 3: for me. I'm now comfort to her occasionally obviously Mom's

433
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:57,120
Speaker 3: still the favorite, and in case my my son will

434
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 3: be like, I love mummy more than you, and I'm like, buddy,

435
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 3: I love mummy more than I love me. What are

436
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 3: you fucking talking about? Like I'm the reason she's your mom?

437
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 3: You dumb I bet that woman. Don't throw that back

438
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 3: in my fucking face, you idiot. I know what I am.

439
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 3: That's why I found her. I'm less with my sonless

440
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,880
Speaker 3: with my daughter, speeding her up because I've got my son.

441
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 3: Because my son's my best friend. You know, I'm at

442
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 3: that great stage where you know, I'm my son's hero, right,

443
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 3: I'm the biggest, I'm the coolest, I'm the funnest. And

444
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 3: because of that, like with my daughter, I'm like, oh,

445
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 3: I know you'll get there, and I don't need this

446
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 3: to to speak up it. I can appreciate it more. Also,

447
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 3: I've gotta say this, I really thought, obviously, as a

448
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 3: father of a daughter wanted to raise a strong, independent woman.

449
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 3: I thought I would have more to do with that.

450
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 3: I wasn't aware that she would just come out the

451
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 3: most outspoken bitch I've ever met. My goddamn fucking late man.

452
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 2: So George's nearly George's nearly twenty two now. And I

453
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 2: remember at eleven, I was forty one. I'm thirty years old, yeah,

454
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 2: thirty years older than it. At eleven, she was doing

455
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: something that was shit, all right, and I'm forty one,

456
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 2: and you know, I'm the I hadn't yet married her mum,

457
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 2: so I'm still mum's boyfriend. We were sorry fiance and

458
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 2: she does something kind of shit and I was pulling up, going,

459
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 2: look that's not okay, it's not and she just wouldn't

460
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 2: back down. And inside my head, I'm I was really

461
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,919
Speaker 2: putting it down on it and then because it was

462
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 2: not good. But inside my head, I'm like, don't you

463
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 2: ever fucking stop. Look at you. You're eleven years old,

464
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 2: You're standing up to a forty one year old, fucking amazing,

465
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 2: I'm so proud of you. And Roddy Room.

466
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, I was fucking litly like i'd hod

467
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 3: from so many other parents, right, which is like you,

468
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 3: how little control you have of who your children become

469
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 3: right like, your kids come out who they're going to be,

470
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 3: and your job is essentially to be a paleontologist and

471
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 3: to just slowly uncover who your child is over the

472
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 3: years and give them room to grow whatever. So when

473
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 3: my son comes out, this perfect little boy doesn't cry

474
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 3: at the age of you know, he's almost for deeply

475
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,159
Speaker 3: in touch with his emotions. He's soft, but in the

476
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 3: best way. Like and me and my wife are just

477
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,919
Speaker 3: like we're the greatest parents that have ever left, Like

478
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 3: with this was just natural, naturally good. And then and

479
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,439
Speaker 3: then this fucking girl comes out and she is just

480
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 3: from day one, knows who she is, knows what she wants,

481
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 3: and she's not like disrespectful, but like I, you know,

482
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,639
Speaker 3: I fear who. I fear who she'll become from me.

483
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,439
Speaker 3: If my son is like me, he's just going to

484
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 3: be a little soft boy, desperately putting on a hard

485
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 3: exterior because he's aware of how soft he is. Whereas

486
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 3: if my and I say, this is somebody who loves

487
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 3: his wife with all of his heart, if my daughter

488
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 3: becomes my wife, we're fucked. We are we are fun.

489
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,440
Speaker 3: And she said that because when she was a teenager.

490
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 3: She was a god damn riot. She was, you know,

491
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 3: I mean she's still else. But yeah, yeah, if my

492
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 3: when my son's a teenager, he'll discover weed, wanking and

493
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 3: world of warcraft. If if my if my daughter becomes

494
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 3: my wife, fucking I'm going to be on first name

495
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 3: terms with the police.

496
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 2: We remember your Daniel. Yes, I was. I'm a comfortable.

497
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,159
Speaker 3: Mister law says it. You know my fucking name, Come on,

498
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,639
Speaker 3: and I'll where is she? What did she do?

499
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 2: At some point though? And you know, you do speak

500
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 2: of what You've done a lot of shows about manhood.

501
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 2: And you're looking at your little boy at the playground.

502
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 2: You're there with the other moms and dads and you're

503
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 2: looking at your little boy in the playground, and you

504
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 2: know it's a horrible thing to think about, and you've

505
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,920
Speaker 2: done a show about this. There's a massive park near

506
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 2: a house. Sometimes there's one hundred four year olds there,

507
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,439
Speaker 2: all right, Yeah, fifty to fifty boys and girls. And

508
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,640
Speaker 2: you're looking at these fifty young boys between the age

509
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 2: of two and four whatever, and you go, statistically, in

510
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 2: twenty years, one of you is going to hit a woman,

511
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 2: and yeah, one fucking parent there wants that to be

512
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 2: their boy, not one.

513
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 3: Yeah. So the example I fucking give right is that

514
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 3: I grew up in Fife, which is a bit of

515
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 3: a it's rougher than Edinburgh. I much prefer taking my

516
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 3: children to soft plays in Fife than I do in Edinburgh,

517
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 3: because when you go to soft plays in Edinburgh and

518
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 3: there's like, look, kids are going to hate each other,

519
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:56,959
Speaker 3: bump into each other, and you get all these fucking

520
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,360
Speaker 3: middle class and I say, this is somebody who does

521
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 3: practice gen parenting. You got these fucking middle class parents

522
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 3: being like, okay, tyson, you know, we need to make

523
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 3: sure that we understand people's space, and we need to

524
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 3: say sorry, we need to take ownership and you know

525
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 3: what he does, and all this sort of stuff that

526
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 3: I do. And then I took my son to a

527
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 3: soft play where I grew up in Krakaudy, and I

528
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 3: was there with my friends who were also parents, and

529
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 3: I watched my son at the top of this slide

530
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 3: sort of go to like set himself down, and this

531
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 3: bigger kid behind them pushes up my son's sort of falls,

532
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 3: and you know, they fucking happens, and this large or

533
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 3: working class what I would call a ned or a

534
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 3: chap comes up to me. She goes, is that my

535
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 3: son that your son just pushed? And I was like, oh,

536
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 3: here we fucking go and I went, yeah it was

537
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 3: and she went, Mark, youllow fucking get down here, and

538
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 3: like this kid comes down the slide. She grabs me.

539
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 3: She goes, you apologize to that kid right now. I keck,

540
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 3: you're dead and this little kids, I'm really sorry. I

541
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 3: don't mean to do that. And my son is looking

542
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 3: at me like, oh my fucking god. And I'm like,

543
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 3: do you see how good you have it? Do you

544
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 3: understand You've never You've never heard me raise my voice

545
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 3: like that to anyone in this fucking household.

546
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 2: You know, there's this moment. Look, I'm I'm fifty one, Dan.

547
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 2: I don't want to tell you. You know I was raised

548
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 2: with a bit more of the ladder than the former.

549
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 2: Yet I see what the evidence says about how the

550
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 2: ladder can end you up. I yes, the gentle parenting

551
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 2: thing I get, but give me an outlet for something.

552
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 2: Give me something, guys, give me fucking something that I

553
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 2: can just go. I am the Lord and Master of

554
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 2: the universe.

555
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the double sort of people have been like,

556
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 3: you need to not bottle up your emotions. But also

557
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 3: gentle parents, You're like, which one is it? Do I say?

558
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 3: How I really fucking do I? Do I express myself?

559
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 3: I I want to fucking express myself? Or am I

560
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 3: getting down to eye level to make sure that I

561
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 3: understand my son understands that yelling doesn't equate strength, noise

562
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 3: doesn't equal power the empathy and understanding. But then there's

563
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 3: other times she's just like, motherfucker, motherfucker, how many fucking

564
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 3: times do I have to tell.

565
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 2: You in those moments when you're trying to stop the

566
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 2: you know, the the chavs loss. Yeah, three year it's

567
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 2: ugly head. What do you do to stop that thing

568
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 2: when it's boiling up?

569
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 3: My wife is My wife does the the funniest thing,

570
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 3: and it's really it's really effective and it marks me

571
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 3: at the time. But like, if there's any point where

572
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 3: I'm getting wound up by my son, She'll just be like, oh,

573
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 3: it's a three year old winding you up. And I'm like, oh,

574
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 3: that's such a good point. That's such a like, you know,

575
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 3: if I'm ever you know, it's like we having an

576
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 3: argument with a three year old and I'm like, oh,

577
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 3: of course you will get yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the loser.

578
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 3: I'm the fucking it now.

579
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 2: I am five, and I will not let that.

580
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 3: Like and I do t'hote as well, which is, you know,

581
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 3: if you find yourself game wound up by your kids,

582
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 3: you're like, you're gonna let a fucking three year old up?

583
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 3: There's effect, don't you really like? Come on and you're like, yeah, yeah,

584
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 3: she'd just be like, don't you go to therapy? I'm like,

585
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 3: I do, I do? I do? God, that's an excellent

586
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 3: fucking point.

587
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

588
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 2: And you know, even the greatest fucking twness players have coaches.

589
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 2: Even the world number one has got a coach. They're

590
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 2: always learning, thank you very much. They still make mistakes,

591
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 2: theyre still as matches, and that's something important if you

592
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 2: haven't made up in your mind to watch some slow

593
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 2: specials on Netflix already, come on. There's a bit more

594
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,239
Speaker 2: of a conversation, but the I'm pretty sure it'll get

595
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 2: you over the line. Like I said, Sloss is touring Australia.

596
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 2: I'll put the links in the shower and so we've

597
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 2: got more to come in this conversation. But I do

598
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 2: need to take an ad break while I have you

599
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 2: for a moment. Can I remind you this podcast is

600
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 2: free to listen to, but it's not free to make,

601
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 2: and so we do have to play some ads and

602
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 2: to also because this is my job.

603
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: Now, I haven't worked in broadcast for a long time.

604
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 2: This is the job I do. This is my full

605
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 2: time job and I keep the lights on, pay my

606
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 2: mortgage and feed my children because you listen.

607
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 1: So if you want to help me, do.

608
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 2: That, tell a friend that is the best thing you

609
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 2: can do for me is to share this episode like rate, follow, subscribe,

610
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 2: all that gear. If you really want to help, you

611
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 2: can come along to story Club. It's a live show

612
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 2: that I do every couple of weeks in Sydney. It's

613
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 2: a live comedy storytelling show. And next one's on the

614
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 2: twelfth of April. Super duper fun. The links in the

615
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 2: show that's for the tickets also the YouTube channel for

616
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 2: story Club, where you can also find a link to

617
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 2: watch full video episodes of this show. And our newsletter

618
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 2: which is in a delightful state of mind.

619
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: I'm very happy about that newsletter. If you want to

620
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: get in touch with me, you just hit reply.

621
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 2: It's that easy. Back was more slice in a moment

622
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 2: when you think about the kind of young man you

623
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 2: want your boy to become. What are I mean fucking

624
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 2: They're gonna be what they're gonna be. They're gonna be

625
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 2: whatever they're gonna be. But as a as a as

626
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 2: a general thing, like what is the overall thing you

627
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 2: would want your boy to be when people turn around

628
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 2: and he is a man?

629
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want him to be. I don't want him

630
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 3: to be you know, I don't want to be the

631
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 3: better version of me. I don't want him to be

632
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 3: any version of me. I want him to be himself.

633
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 3: I want him to you know, understand that compassion and

634
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 3: empathy isn't weakness just because other people exploit it, right

635
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 3: is you know? I'll come up from with my dad

636
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 3: and my granddaughter and her uncle of mine. I think

637
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 3: it was my dad, but I remember once we're walking

638
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 3: through the high street and it was like a homeless

639
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 3: person and my dad gave them like a tenor, and

640
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 3: you know, I was repeating stuff I hurts on the

641
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 3: news and stuff, and I was like, oh, he's just

642
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 3: going to spend that money on drag stories, not even

643
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 3: really homeless. So it's all this sort of stuff, and

644
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 3: my dad was like, well, then that says more about

645
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 3: him than it does about me, which is like, just

646
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 3: because people will take advantage of kindness doesn't mean you

647
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 3: should limit your kindness. Right, just because there are bad

648
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 3: people in the world who consistently take advantage of good

649
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 3: people does not mean that you should stop being a

650
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 3: good person. And also you're allowed to fucking fail, you know,

651
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 3: part of you know, everything is to to you know.

652
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,399
Speaker 3: I hope my son doesn't give up as easily as

653
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 3: I do, and I and I hope he's got more

654
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,840
Speaker 3: self compassion. Like I remember saying to my wife the

655
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 3: other day, which is, if anyone in the world spoke

656
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 3: to me the way I speak to myself, I would

657
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 3: slip their throat with a box cut. And occasionally my son,

658
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 3: at the age of three, will say like, oh, I'm

659
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,359
Speaker 3: a bad boy, and it's the only time I'll ever

660
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 3: you know, It's that's when I get really fucking serious,

661
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 3: and I'll sit down with him and I'm like, I

662
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 3: do not ever want to hear you. And he's only

663
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 3: saying it because he hears it in the context of like,

664
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 3: oh he's a good he's a baddie blah blah blah.

665
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 3: But I'm just like I do or I ever want

666
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 3: you to hear you say that that you're a bad person.

667
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 3: And then also with his fucking sister, this isn't just

668
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,399
Speaker 3: because she's a girl. This is like a sibling thing

669
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:39,400
Speaker 3: for me, which I'm just like you are. You You

670
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 3: are the champion of your sister. You celebrate I love

671
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 3: my wife does. I think my wife started doing it,

672
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 3: and I saw it in my son's actions my wife

673
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 3: when I'm not there, my wife celebrates me to my kids,

674
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 3: like in a really amazing way. And I've I've learned

675
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 3: to sort of reciprocate it, you know, in the sense

676
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 3: of behind my wife's back, all I'm doing is complimenting

677
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 3: her to the kids, like how good is it the

678
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 3: mommy did this for us? How great is it that

679
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 3: you know all this sort of stuff, and you know

680
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 3: what a good job mum does with this, and you

681
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:17,800
Speaker 3: know with our schedules and organized, because if there was

682
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,280
Speaker 3: up to be organized in our schedule, buddy, you wouldn't

683
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 3: have any hobby or fucking friends because the reason I

684
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 3: have hobbies and friends is because of what your mum does.

685
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 3: You know, champion the people in your life, like you

686
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 3: are allowed to make jokes and you're allowed to wind

687
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 3: up the people that you love because that's the fun

688
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:44,399
Speaker 3: of familiarity. But the world is going to try constantly

689
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:48,479
Speaker 3: to undermine the people you love, so just make sure

690
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:51,320
Speaker 3: that you're you're championing them almost at all times.

691
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 2: But that's what it's what you were saying before, is

692
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 2: that the empathy and the kindness, and it's got a

693
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 2: bad rap because it's actually white easier to be a

694
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,120
Speaker 2: complete prick and.

695
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,800
Speaker 3: So much eager and finow way final's objectively find.

696
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 2: To a point, Yeah, absolutely, but it takes fucking strength

697
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:14,359
Speaker 2: and courage to be kind and show empathy rather than

698
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 2: lash out or use you know, harsh language to be

699
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 2: you know, to dress someone down in public, to tell

700
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 2: someone who's in a service position your piece of shit,

701
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 2: you fucked up my meal, Like they're just getting paid

702
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 2: ten bucks today, mate, just can't your farm. There's probably

703
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:31,839
Speaker 2: nothing to do with it that. It takes a lot

704
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 2: more strength to do that than the other. And that's

705
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 2: the opposite to what you I think your new show

706
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 2: is somewhat about we did allude to just before, Like

707
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 2: the idea that you're in a fight with a three

708
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,720
Speaker 2: year old and that you're too old to carry bitterness around.

709
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 2: And you know, the idea that bitterness is within you.

710
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 2: I'd like to deny that it's not within me, but

711
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 2: it is. I do have it.

712
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 3: I don't like it.

713
00:37:56,719 --> 00:38:00,760
Speaker 2: I try to get rid of it, but it's fucking there. Yeah,

714
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 2: when you're hunting around, when you're getting back on the tools,

715
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,800
Speaker 2: when your wife finally said, okay, Daniel or working no

716
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 2: play makes shack of our boy, fucking get back in there,

717
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 2: get back on that laptop. Why better it, because.

718
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,799
Speaker 3: You know you can take up interviews with me. When

719
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 3: I was seventeen years old and he was asked what

720
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 3: his dream was, what the goal was, it was to

721
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 3: just make a living out of stand up comedy. Was

722
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 3: to you know, to still be doing this job in ten, fifteen,

723
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 3: twenty years time, and I have achieved all of my

724
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 3: dreams and more. Got to marry at ten, and that

725
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 3: was a fucking bonus. Never saw that on the cards.

726
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,959
Speaker 3: And I still because of you know, social media, because

727
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 3: of the way the comedy brain works, because of you know,

728
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,800
Speaker 3: because I've been in the no neces started the limelight,

729
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 3: but because I've had sort of potension on me since

730
00:38:56,760 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 3: I was seventeen. I still find myself comparing my life

731
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,399
Speaker 3: to others, and there is, you know, as you said,

732
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 3: the bareness in there. And what I tend to find,

733
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:11,280
Speaker 3: at least for myself, is once I notice a flaw

734
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 3: in myself, if I play up to it and parody it,

735
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 3: I find it easier to get rid of.

736
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 2: Right.

737
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 3: That's why I like being arrogant on stage, because when

738
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 3: in my twenties, I noticed I was getting fucking arrogant.

739
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 3: So it's like, if I play up to this and

740
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 3: parody myself to myself, I'll see how fucking stupid my

741
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 3: arrogance it is. And it worked. I would say, I'm

742
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 3: you know, my stage were soon still quite arrogant, but

743
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 3: I would say I'm much more humble in real life now,

744
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,760
Speaker 3: And now that could have just been the crushing reality

745
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,319
Speaker 3: of the world and the popping of the EU with

746
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 3: my fucking feries. But in the same way, like I,

747
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 3: you know, I will you know, I I do ironic

748
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 3: sex as a ironic homophobia and ironic racism on stage,

749
00:39:57,719 --> 00:39:59,879
Speaker 3: and it's because I still have all this stuff in me. Right,

750
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 3: I consider myself to be a sexist, feminist, right, you're

751
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 3: never to be a male feminist doesn't mean you're not

752
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 3: sex You're not getting red of fucking thirty five years

753
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 3: of being a man, you idiot. I still have these instincts.

754
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 3: I mean the other day, this is what I had

755
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 3: to tell my wife about this. My son was drinking

756
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 3: cow's milk and he was like, oh, does Ela, this

757
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 3: is his sister. He's like, does Ella want any milk?

758
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 3: And I said no, no, Ela doesn't like real milk.

759
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 3: And my wife wasn't even in the room, and I

760
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:36,839
Speaker 3: buy comments up and I went fucking real milk, real

761
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 3: from where my.

762
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:42,879
Speaker 4: Wife making the milk that keeps our daughter alive, get

763
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:46,439
Speaker 4: sacrificing the calcium from her own fucking teeth to grow

764
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 4: the bones of my daughter, putting all this fucking and

765
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 4: I'm like, real milk.

766
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:52,919
Speaker 3: I ran through. I told my wife, I'm like, you'll

767
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,399
Speaker 3: never fucking believe or I just called milk in front

768
00:40:56,440 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 3: of our son. And she laughs about that. That was sexist,

769
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 3: that was like, and that was in that was in

770
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:05,399
Speaker 3: my fucking until that left my mouth. I didn't know

771
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 3: that that was an opinion that I had. So that's

772
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 3: why you know, I like to be this sort of

773
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 3: brash on stage to highlight again all this stuff, to

774
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 3: bring it up because I'm not just part of doing

775
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 3: it to the audience, and part is doing my own

776
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 3: bigotry to to and ignorance to myself in the in

777
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 3: the hopes that you know, it's not just highlighting a

778
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 3: problem in the world, that it's highlighting a problem with myself.

779
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 2: What's interesting that what you do there by finding something

780
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:37,879
Speaker 2: you don't like about yourself, making a parody of it,

781
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: and then exaggerating it to know when that's actually a

782
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 2: technique from acceptance commitment therapy, which I've been through as

783
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 2: a part of getting out of all the psychosis and shit,

784
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 2: is that you give the the thing like, for example,

785
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 2: why was climate climate anxiety catastrophe? I was paranoid divisions.

786
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 2: It was fucking terrible, Daniel, And so I would like,

787
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 2: for example I happened today, was he's still there. I

788
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 2: was driving through Double Bay, which is in Sydney, and

789
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,359
Speaker 2: it's very low to the harbor, and I'm like, well,

790
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 2: these are rich people here. They'll put a fucking sea

791
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 2: wall right there, weren't they. And so in my brain

792
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, thanks Peter from Planning I'll give them

793
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 2: more names. Peter from Planning, You're fucking all the mate,

794
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 2: Just take the fucking day off, and by parodying it

795
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 2: and making jokes of it, it just diminishes it, and

796
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 2: the thought no longer haunts me and I don't have

797
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 2: to be on those meds anymore. But here you are

798
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 2: doing good on stage. Yeah, it's wonderful.

799
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I I think look again, the problem with

800
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,360
Speaker 3: the left is there's no space for growth, There's no

801
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 3: space for fucking learning. So and no matter how many

802
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 3: times the left wing will try to fucking got you

803
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 3: to me, to try and fucking push me over there,

804
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:45,319
Speaker 3: I want to just be an example to like all

805
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 3: the men in my audience been like, buddy, I am

806
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 3: fucking up every single day. Right it is. You are

807
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 3: never a completed project. There's such thing as a finished

808
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,919
Speaker 3: human being. You're only a work in progress. I hate

809
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 3: to be a loser and quote the work of Brandon

810
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 3: Sanderson's caused me. But in the Way of Kings, which

811
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 3: I've read multiple times, there's really beautiful philosophy a fantasy.

812
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 3: Dallan R. Cole In, one of the greatest fantasy characters

813
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 3: written of all time, is struggling with this philosophical concept

814
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 3: of what's the most what's the most important step a

815
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:26,240
Speaker 3: man can take? And as a king and a ruler,

816
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 3: is obviously like it's the first one. It's the first one, right,

817
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 3: but he just cannot get it out of his fucking heads.

818
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 3: The third storm Light book the best one by far.

819
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 3: I won't do any sports for hione't want to read

820
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 3: it is when he realized the most important step that

821
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,480
Speaker 3: a man can take is the next one. You are

822
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,399
Speaker 3: not defined by the mistakes that you make. You are

823
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 3: defined by how you react afterwards. It doesn't matter how

824
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 3: many times you fall down, as long as you get

825
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:53,239
Speaker 3: up and continue walking in the right direction. I will

826
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:57,279
Speaker 3: continue to say sexist things an ironically not realizing that

827
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,759
Speaker 3: they are sexes. I will continue to probably be go

828
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 3: to far with ironic homophobia and racism before that's correct me.

829
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 3: I'm gonna make these fucking mistakes. Matt I posted a

830
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 3: clip the other fucking week which was I mean, it

831
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,800
Speaker 3: was filled with sexism, but it was filled with the

832
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 3: sexism that I do to my wife because my wife

833
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 3: knows I'm not an actual sexist, so when we're in private,

834
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 3: I call her Toots you know the thing I always

835
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 3: said to him, like, as a as a sexist feminist,

836
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 3: I believe that you should have full body autonomy. But

837
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,280
Speaker 3: also it is weird that your tips do this ha,

838
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 3: because that's the noise that they make. I posted a

839
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 3: joke online which sort of had the the way me

840
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 3: and my wife talk to each other in the joke

841
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 3: without too much of the explaining the backstory of me

842
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 3: and my wife's sense of humor. And one of my

843
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 3: female friends phoned me up and she just went, hey, man,

844
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 3: you're better than that. I know what you're trying to do,

845
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 3: but you're better than that one. And I went, okay, great,

846
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 3: and that's all I need. That's all I fuckingly I

847
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 3: don't need, you know. Wept across the back it monaged

848
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 3: held up there. Just a good fucking female friend of

849
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 3: mine went, she went, you're better than that one bad

850
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 3: and I went, good to know, thank you, and that

851
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 3: was it. Just my life is filled with people who

852
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 3: have I'm very fortunate that you know. My path becoming

853
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:21,880
Speaker 3: a good person was I don't really think anything to

854
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:26,720
Speaker 3: do with me. I was surrounded by compassionate, smarter people

855
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 3: who every time I tripped up instead of being like, Oh,

856
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,280
Speaker 3: you fucking idiot, You can't say that you're ignorant and

857
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,439
Speaker 3: the one I fucking hate most in the world. It's

858
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 3: not my job to explain your ignorance to you. Oh cool, Well,

859
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 3: I'll just go to the other side where ignorance thrives, then,

860
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 3: where ignorance is fucking rewarded. Because you're too up your

861
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 3: own fucking ass to recruit team members to the losing side,

862
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 3: I've not experienced much of that. The many many women

863
00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 3: in my life, if you know, exhaustingly pay yeah. And

864
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:03,799
Speaker 3: the same with my gay friends, the same with my

865
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 3: any of my friends who aren't straight. Wehight man.

866
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 2: It's it's it's a human thing to understand. We do it.

867
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 2: We do it for kids. When I said, it's okay, buddy,

868
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 2: not everyone, Not everyone figures out taking turns on slides.

869
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 2: You're not supposed to push a little one down the

870
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 2: slide face first, all right, we all take turns. That's

871
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 2: how we get along. Otherwise we have to build a

872
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 2: playground for everybody. We figure it out. Don't worry, Let's

873
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 2: try again. You talk about the next step is the

874
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 2: most whatever the thing you do next, whatever most important

875
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 2: step is the next one, which is fine to stay

876
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,839
Speaker 2: in a cool state, But when you're stuck behind those

877
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 2: pensioners at the line who can't figure out how to

878
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 2: take their belt off, what does holding on to that bitterness?

879
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,280
Speaker 2: They don't give a shit, But what does that bitterness

880
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 2: do for you if you can't let it go?

881
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 3: Well, So, I mean the illusion, or not the illusion,

882
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,920
Speaker 3: but the fear that I think all comedians have deep

883
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 3: down is if I find happiness, if I financial happiness,

884
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 3: will I still be funny? You know? You know I

885
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 3: if I, which is why so many of us deny

886
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 3: ourselves to happenings for a long period of time, because

887
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 3: it might destroy the art if we are happy. And

888
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 3: now that I am, you know, I've taken the time off,

889
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 3: I've been home, and I am truly happy. I can

890
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 3: tell you who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck?

891
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 3: Like you know, my betterness comes from there. There was

892
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 3: a fifteen year period where I really thought an achievable

893
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 3: goal was becoming one of the best stand ups of

894
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:48,839
Speaker 3: all time. To become the best at a subjective art

895
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 3: form is something that there's no proof, there's no you know,

896
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 3: it's it's in people's head. Was like this insurmountable mountain

897
00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 3: that I just kept trying to fucking climb up and

898
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:05,280
Speaker 3: get to the summer and fucking reach. Whereas now I'm

899
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:09,279
Speaker 3: sure like that that bitterness that other people are, you know,

900
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 3: in my at least my head, doing better than me

901
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 3: or getting the credit that I deserve because I've worked

902
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 3: harder than they have and you know, they just got

903
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:20,839
Speaker 3: to fucking move to London and that's why they're on TV.

904
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,919
Speaker 3: Whereas I get to travel the world and I've played

905
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 3: all these new markets and I'd never get all this

906
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 3: fucking betterness, this vote in my fucking head so stupid.

907
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 3: You know the reason I you know, I don't you know,

908
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:37,400
Speaker 3: you know, I might be immensely fucking successful, But the

909
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,960
Speaker 3: thing that I truly have over James A. Caster is

910
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 3: I have two kids to love me.

911
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,359
Speaker 2: Ah, and that's you know, as long as there's food

912
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 2: in the fridge and the roof over the head. Then

913
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 2: I tell myself that all the time, and you know,

914
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, but I kind of there's still a

915
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 2: part of me and I'm not gonna lie Daniel was

916
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:56,839
Speaker 2: a part of me is like yeah, but I want

917
00:48:56,840 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 2: people to see me because I feel empty if they don't.

918
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:05,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, still I still have that, like when when

919
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 3: I came off, when I came off the of touring

920
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 3: for a year, like my wife would laugh about it

921
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 3: because like my wife is like the most mentally secure

922
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 3: woman or person I've ever met in my entire life.

923
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 3: Like I told my wife I loved her for the

924
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 3: first time fucking back in twenty eighteen when we were

925
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:31,160
Speaker 3: in New York, and she just fucking saved that memory.

926
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 3: And every time I've said I love you since, she's like, yeah,

927
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 3: I know, like you told me in twenty eighteen, Why

928
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 3: are you telling me again? Like I'm aware that you

929
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 3: love me. I see that. Whereas I an insecure comedian,

930
00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 3: I will wake up in the morning next to her

931
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:50,240
Speaker 3: and I'll be like, this fucking bitch changed her mind

932
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:53,840
Speaker 3: while she was sleeping, Like I need to be reminded

933
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 3: every fucking day. And it is because you know, for

934
00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 3: fifteen years of my life, I got all all of

935
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:04,879
Speaker 3: my self worth, All of who I was was defined

936
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 3: by how strangers felt about me. All of my self

937
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 3: worth came from the approval of strangers. And like when

938
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 3: I take these little bit as the time off and

939
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 3: I go through my moments of like insecurity, and it

940
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 3: sort of bleeds out in my family life in the

941
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:20,600
Speaker 3: way it does. My wife will be like, I can't.

942
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:22,880
Speaker 3: I can't love you as much as three thousand strangers do,

943
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 3: but I love you a lot, but I can I

944
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 3: cannot give you that approval today. And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah.

945
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 3: One of the.

946
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 2: First, one of the first sobriety meetings I got sober

947
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 2: in Los Angeles when I lived there, and one of

948
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 2: the first surbriding meetings I went to. A couple of

949
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 2: us like, but you guys don't get it. You guys

950
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:42,840
Speaker 2: don't get it. And they kept saying, well, just go

951
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 2: to this other meeting. Go to this other meeting which

952
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 2: was started in the eighties, and it was at a

953
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 2: nightclub in the daytime, and it was all the big

954
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 2: hair metal dudes and it was they originally started and

955
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 2: there's a few of them still there. And I sat

956
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 2: in this room and this is bloke. I'm not going

957
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 2: to break anyone's downonymity, but I'm like, I fucking know,

958
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:04,480
Speaker 2: I've camped out for tickets to your band. And he

959
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 2: goes he says something like, it wasn't it wasn't not

960
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:10,960
Speaker 2: drinking it wasn't It was British was not drinking. That

961
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 2: was a problem. It was like I've just walked out

962
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 2: of a room with ten thousand people screaming my name,

963
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,479
Speaker 2: and now I don't know what to do that that's

964
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:23,720
Speaker 2: not there anymore. And if you've not experienced that level

965
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 2: of adulation, it's a little difficult to explain to someone. Yeah,

966
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:28,839
Speaker 2: but I kind of want to get back on stage again. Yes,

967
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 2: I could just do a regular job and fill the

968
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:34,399
Speaker 2: fridge that way. But yeah, that thing is we talked

969
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 2: about the best. However, that's a pretty fucking good one, Daniel.

970
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:40,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, which is why. Yeah, and also Drugstore compared

971
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 3: to it, that's why you you know, you're constantly seeking

972
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 3: away to the place that.

973
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, are the family coming out with you when

974
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 2: you're coming down? No?

975
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 3: No, they came out last year. So it said to

976
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:56,279
Speaker 3: you know, I love bringing my family out on tour

977
00:51:56,400 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 3: because I can do about uh, you know, I'm not

978
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 3: gonna lie. The first three days being away from kids

979
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 3: is great, you know's that's better yourself. You can play

980
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:15,359
Speaker 3: Xbox during the fucking day. You know, I'm not being

981
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 3: asked four hundred questions a minute. The first three days,

982
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 3: you don't miss your family too much. Everything after the

983
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 3: day three is when you're like, oh yeah, this is

984
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 3: all empty, like this isn't you know what it used

985
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:31,479
Speaker 3: to be? So it does. It deeply affects my mental

986
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 3: health when they are not with me. But it's Australia.

987
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:39,319
Speaker 3: I've been coming out for so long that I have

988
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 3: so many I have like a different family out in

989
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 3: Australia of people that will surround me.

990
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 2: Like an actual one, because that always seems to me

991
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 2: like a lot of working all the night.

992
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 3: So I'm not like ninety percent of British comedians who

993
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,279
Speaker 3: when they come to Australia they cheat on the mother

994
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 3: of their children. When I say that, I just mean

995
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 3: I have lots of friends out there. That was a joke.

996
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:06,360
Speaker 3: I had my short this year which was I would

997
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:09,440
Speaker 3: talk about and I wouldn't say any names, but I

998
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 3: would just talk. I would just talk about British comedians

999
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:13,840
Speaker 3: going out to Australia to cheat on the mother of

1000
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:15,920
Speaker 3: their children. And when I was doing it during the

1001
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,839
Speaker 3: French every day I would have comedians and agents come

1002
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,279
Speaker 3: up to me and they would be like, oh, it's

1003
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 3: that joke about so and so and I would add

1004
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:27,960
Speaker 3: every day it was a different fucking name, Harry.

1005
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:31,360
Speaker 2: She talked about that when spinal tap came out, Judas

1006
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 2: Priest will go out like you fucking made that about us,

1007
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 2: Ozzy Osborne, you fucking made that about us. In like

1008
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,279
Speaker 2: every doo you fucking made that. They all thought it

1009
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 2: was about them. They all like, mate, if you're asking

1010
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 2: the question, I think you were telling me more than

1011
00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:45,640
Speaker 2: it was. I don't want to take any more of

1012
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 2: your time. You're amazing, dude. I was just going to

1013
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:50,359
Speaker 2: ask if you were going to come out to Australia.

1014
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 2: I just took the family to Australia Zoo. And I

1015
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 2: think your Steve Irwin joke from the last special is far.

1016
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 2: I think it'd be fine. They wouldn't have bust you.

1017
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:02,719
Speaker 3: It was really fun, but also Matt like and I.

1018
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 3: One of my favorite things is that my son at

1019
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 3: the moment is really getting into Robert Arwin, like he's

1020
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 3: watching a bunch of his stuff on YouTube. I can't

1021
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 3: express how truly amazing it is. Like Steve Irwin's death

1022
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 3: devastated me. When I remember exactly where I was, I

1023
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 3: was in a fourth year. My dad came through in

1024
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 3: the morning, I was in my bed and he broke

1025
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,320
Speaker 3: it to me because he knew how much I loved

1026
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 3: Steve Irwin. And then obviously all the jokes come out,

1027
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:33,920
Speaker 3: and you know, I was, you know, I laugh at

1028
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:35,480
Speaker 3: all the fucking jokes, but you know you can, you

1029
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 3: can laugh and be sad. It's so unbelievably cool in

1030
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 3: a way that I just can't express that my son

1031
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 3: gets to have that almost the exact same hero that

1032
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:52,360
Speaker 3: I have liked, and for us to be able to

1033
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 3: you know, you know, share share, because I mean, how

1034
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:02,319
Speaker 3: fucking good is Robert Arwin? Hi fucking how fucking good

1035
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:02,800
Speaker 3: a bloke?

1036
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:05,360
Speaker 2: I sat in this fucking room and like, I was like,

1037
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 2: you're twenty one and I'm you're glowing in the dark.

1038
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 2: Terry sat in the front lawn. I was like, do

1039
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:11,399
Speaker 2: you want to come? And she goes, no, of cool,

1040
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 2: sit here. She sat on the front lawn and watched

1041
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,080
Speaker 2: and just looked at my wife's veggie garden and then

1042
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,440
Speaker 2: just kind of enjoyed the butterflies and shit and like,

1043
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 2: how are you even still alive? Like both of them,

1044
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:27,799
Speaker 2: Like how badly that whole thing could have gone for

1045
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:29,000
Speaker 2: both those kids?

1046
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean she she it's got to be like

1047
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:36,319
Speaker 3: probably the second strongest human being that's ever fucking you know,

1048
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,920
Speaker 3: to come out of that with the If I can

1049
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 3: raise kids even a tank as good as what she's done,

1050
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 3: then I consider myself one of the greatest hamp to

1051
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:46,360
Speaker 3: do it.

1052
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:50,359
Speaker 2: Daniel, You're an absolutely champ. Sorry, you're an incredible human

1053
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 2: being and I'm really grateful that we got the chance

1054
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 2: to chat today. Good to talk to you, buddy.

1055
00:55:54,239 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 3: You two buds.

1056
00:55:56,719 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 1: And that was Daniel Sloss. He's touring.

1057
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:02,640
Speaker 2: Get your tickets get him quick because he's touring Australia

1058
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 2: right across the country in April. His new show is

1059
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 2: called Bitter. If you need more convincing, that's fine, but

1060
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:11,520
Speaker 2: go and watch one or two of its specials on

1061
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 2: Netflix and you'll go we honey, we're going to see

1062
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 2: Slats who just come with me.

1063
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 1: It is the shit.

1064
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 2: All the tour dates, all the ticket information, everything it

1065
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:23,759
Speaker 2: needs at Danielsloss dot com. Thank you so much for

1066
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:26,359
Speaker 2: Damien Haffan and for helped me produce this episode. Cassidy Cree,

1067
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 2: if you're keeping me on time and on schedule.

1068
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Speaker 1: And you for listening.

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00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 2: If this show is useful to you, Please send it

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00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 2: to someone like share, rate, follow, subscribe, whatever it is

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00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:37,319
Speaker 2: that you do. Screenshot, put it on your story, put

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00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:39,879
Speaker 2: a link on it. That really helps me. It really

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00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:41,799
Speaker 2: helps more people listen to the show, which helps us

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Speaker 2: get some income which I need right now.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. I'll see you on Wednesday.