WEBVTT - Get out of my bed!!!

0:00:05.881 --> 0:00:24.721
<v Speaker 1>Apod Shape Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am

0:00:24.761 --> 0:00:27.161
<v Speaker 1>I A Bad Mum? Podcast?

0:00:28.401 --> 0:00:31.121
<v Speaker 2>It is It is one of those podcasts that continues

0:00:31.161 --> 0:00:34.321
<v Speaker 2>to give over and over again because parenting is one

0:00:34.321 --> 0:00:36.001
<v Speaker 2>of those jobs that doesn't go away.

0:00:37.480 --> 0:00:40.720
<v Speaker 1>It's always funny when you look at those like memes

0:00:40.801 --> 0:00:43.040
<v Speaker 1>or things which are talking about mums and how many

0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:46.121
<v Speaker 1>hats they wear, like, yeah, ain't get any sick pay,

0:00:46.441 --> 0:00:49.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't get any holiday pay. I'm on twenty four

0:00:49.601 --> 0:00:51.961
<v Speaker 1>to seven. I'm a chef. I'm a chef, I'm a

0:00:52.081 --> 0:00:54.961
<v Speaker 1>nurse cleaner, I'm a psychologist, I'm an uber driver.

0:00:57.121 --> 0:01:00.281
<v Speaker 3>And I have been really stripping back that whole idea.

0:01:00.761 --> 0:01:01.840
<v Speaker 3>At the moment, I don't know why.

0:01:02.001 --> 0:01:04.001
<v Speaker 2>Well I do kind of know why, because you know,

0:01:04.001 --> 0:01:08.281
<v Speaker 2>we've had some big thing happened circumstantially in our last

0:01:08.281 --> 0:01:09.761
<v Speaker 2>few months, and I was just like.

0:01:10.041 --> 0:01:12.401
<v Speaker 3>What are we doing? Why are we doing all of this?

0:01:12.521 --> 0:01:14.241
<v Speaker 3>And then I like have this moment of going, it's

0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:17.121
<v Speaker 3>not for long. I have got not long to go.

0:01:17.401 --> 0:01:21.201
<v Speaker 2>And you talk about this as a parent, it never stops,

0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:23.721
<v Speaker 2>but it goes in these stages with the ages that

0:01:23.801 --> 0:01:26.041
<v Speaker 2>they are, and then the roles change and then all

0:01:26.041 --> 0:01:28.721
<v Speaker 2>of a sudden. I panic at the moment, going, oh

0:01:28.801 --> 0:01:31.881
<v Speaker 2>my god, I haven't got much longer, you know, I like,

0:01:31.881 --> 0:01:33.681
<v Speaker 2>haven't got much longer. How much longer will they want

0:01:33.721 --> 0:01:35.640
<v Speaker 2>to sit and watch a movie with me?

0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:38.441
<v Speaker 3>Or like how long would I keep weighing all that up.

0:01:38.481 --> 0:01:42.001
<v Speaker 1>It's interesting because I'm definitely in that stage where the

0:01:42.041 --> 0:01:44.881
<v Speaker 1>girls are not wanting to do as much with us.

0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:48.481
<v Speaker 1>But then there are random moments like last night, so

0:01:48.801 --> 0:01:51.041
<v Speaker 1>my girls like to have a shower, and then they

0:01:51.161 --> 0:01:54.241
<v Speaker 1>like to watch something on their laptops, like whatever Netflix

0:01:54.281 --> 0:01:59.081
<v Speaker 1>show or what they're watching. And then last night, literally

0:01:59.201 --> 0:02:01.881
<v Speaker 1>about eight o'clock, Holly comes down and goes, what are

0:02:01.881 --> 0:02:04.121
<v Speaker 1>you watching? I'm gonna sit with you. Sat in the

0:02:04.121 --> 0:02:09.201
<v Speaker 1>middle of us, We're watching Master Chef. You're like that

0:02:09.561 --> 0:02:11.081
<v Speaker 1>she's Master Chef?

0:02:11.201 --> 0:02:14.361
<v Speaker 3>Are you feeling okay? She just needs a bit of company.

0:02:14.401 --> 0:02:16.881
<v Speaker 2>See I look at that and just go so all

0:02:16.921 --> 0:02:20.441
<v Speaker 2>those role plays, you know, the roles that we play

0:02:20.921 --> 0:02:24.161
<v Speaker 2>as parents, like I haven't got very much longer to

0:02:24.161 --> 0:02:28.321
<v Speaker 2>be an uber driver. Well, and even with food, like

0:02:28.361 --> 0:02:30.001
<v Speaker 2>they're gonna get to a point I'll get to like

0:02:30.041 --> 0:02:32.881
<v Speaker 2>fifteen or sixteen. Just be like that's fine, I'll cook

0:02:32.921 --> 0:02:35.401
<v Speaker 2>something or like they just won't need you as much.

0:02:35.761 --> 0:02:38.361
<v Speaker 1>No, but thinking about that, they won't need you as much,

0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:42.561
<v Speaker 1>But then on the flip side, they'll turn really, really

0:02:42.601 --> 0:02:45.960
<v Speaker 1>fucking lazy, and so then they will still want you

0:02:46.001 --> 0:02:48.520
<v Speaker 1>to do everything because I look at my girls now

0:02:48.841 --> 0:02:52.321
<v Speaker 1>they have the ability to do whatever. Yeah, cook dinner.

0:02:52.561 --> 0:02:54.321
<v Speaker 1>I still have time, So ch well, I'll come home

0:02:54.401 --> 0:02:56.281
<v Speaker 1>so late and I'll go, did you put the dinner on?

0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:58.481
<v Speaker 1>And they go, now, we're waiting for you. And it

0:02:58.481 --> 0:03:01.881
<v Speaker 1>could be something so simple that's just like put in

0:03:01.921 --> 0:03:05.280
<v Speaker 1>the oven or something like that, and they don't do it, sorry,

0:03:05.441 --> 0:03:06.521
<v Speaker 1>because they can't bothered.

0:03:06.881 --> 0:03:07.521
<v Speaker 3>That would kill me.

0:03:07.601 --> 0:03:09.441
<v Speaker 1>They need to be for a long time. But it's

0:03:09.481 --> 0:03:10.400
<v Speaker 1>just pure laziness.

0:03:10.601 --> 0:03:24.201
<v Speaker 2>That's am I a bad mum for kicking my child

0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:24.881
<v Speaker 2>out of the bed?

0:03:26.361 --> 0:03:29.041
<v Speaker 1>This is no you nod, that's absolutely what you need

0:03:29.081 --> 0:03:29.321
<v Speaker 1>to do.

0:03:29.401 --> 0:03:31.561
<v Speaker 2>We were carrying this on because we had spoken about

0:03:31.561 --> 0:03:34.801
<v Speaker 2>this a few weeks ago about me feeling bad for

0:03:34.961 --> 0:03:38.881
<v Speaker 2>two things. One feeling like I'm bad because I feel

0:03:38.881 --> 0:03:44.601
<v Speaker 2>like I'm undoing a habit that I had positively created.

0:03:44.281 --> 0:03:46.721
<v Speaker 3>Which is children sleeping in their own beds.

0:03:47.401 --> 0:03:50.081
<v Speaker 2>And then I was like really questioning myself about being like,

0:03:50.521 --> 0:03:54.961
<v Speaker 2>maybe not very nurturing by letting her sleep more in

0:03:55.081 --> 0:03:58.281
<v Speaker 2>our bed. So then I do the flip side Katie

0:03:58.281 --> 0:04:00.481
<v Speaker 2>and then feel like I'm making.

0:04:00.321 --> 0:04:03.441
<v Speaker 3>Up for it. Now does that make sense? And now

0:04:03.481 --> 0:04:04.321
<v Speaker 3>we fast.

0:04:04.121 --> 0:04:07.201
<v Speaker 2>Forward to you know, a few weeks forward, and she

0:04:07.241 --> 0:04:11.681
<v Speaker 2>comes down. This is Elsie comes down and she goes, Mom,

0:04:11.761 --> 0:04:15.721
<v Speaker 2>I'm really scared. I need to sleep in I'm really scared.

0:04:15.761 --> 0:04:18.880
<v Speaker 2>I really need to sleep in bed. I was like,

0:04:19.521 --> 0:04:22.200
<v Speaker 2>M and then my head, I was like, just need

0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:25.161
<v Speaker 2>some sleep because I've got to get up at four

0:04:25.201 --> 0:04:28.161
<v Speaker 2>am tomorrow morning. It was like a Sunday night. I've

0:04:28.161 --> 0:04:30.001
<v Speaker 2>got to start work at like, I've got to be

0:04:30.081 --> 0:04:33.121
<v Speaker 2>up by four am. So I tried every excuse here.

0:04:33.161 --> 0:04:37.721
<v Speaker 2>I am as the parent, as the adult, making excuses

0:04:37.801 --> 0:04:40.921
<v Speaker 2>to my nine year old. Oh but what happens when

0:04:40.961 --> 0:04:44.081
<v Speaker 2>I get up at four am? And she's like, that's okay,

0:04:44.561 --> 0:04:46.561
<v Speaker 2>I'm okay to stay down here by myself. And I

0:04:46.601 --> 0:04:48.481
<v Speaker 2>was like, but every other time that I've gone, you

0:04:48.521 --> 0:04:50.801
<v Speaker 2>always fast about how he's too scared to get up

0:04:50.801 --> 0:04:51.681
<v Speaker 2>and blah blah.

0:04:51.801 --> 0:04:53.561
<v Speaker 3>I tried everything to coax her with that.

0:04:53.761 --> 0:04:58.241
<v Speaker 2>I was like, not anyway, as I do, I cave

0:04:58.521 --> 0:05:00.041
<v Speaker 2>and give in and say you need to go to

0:05:00.081 --> 0:05:02.801
<v Speaker 2>sleep right now, though no reading enough, go to sleep

0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:03.361
<v Speaker 2>right now.

0:05:03.601 --> 0:05:04.961
<v Speaker 3>She gets into bed, she does it.

0:05:05.121 --> 0:05:09.121
<v Speaker 2>She's comfortable, she's happy, she's feels safe, all of those things.

0:05:09.201 --> 0:05:12.241
<v Speaker 3>She literally just goes to sleep. There's no fight. But

0:05:12.281 --> 0:05:13.441
<v Speaker 3>then halfway through the night.

0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:19.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, one stage woke up and she's got her foot

0:05:19.801 --> 0:05:22.161
<v Speaker 2>launched in the middle of my back. So I tried

0:05:22.161 --> 0:05:24.721
<v Speaker 2>to say, real calm, just like edge her leg over,

0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:27.281
<v Speaker 2>but she shouldn't move it. She's up to my shoulder now,

0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:29.601
<v Speaker 2>Like she's not a small child, like I don't have

0:05:29.761 --> 0:05:32.841
<v Speaker 2>small wafers sort of children. I don't know how else

0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:38.401
<v Speaker 2>to describe it. They're fucking heavy, and so I'm trying

0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:40.601
<v Speaker 2>to like launch her legs sort of out of the

0:05:40.601 --> 0:05:43.081
<v Speaker 2>middle of my back and send it towards the other

0:05:43.161 --> 0:05:46.121
<v Speaker 2>side of the bed. That wasn't going well. Then she

0:05:46.161 --> 0:05:48.521
<v Speaker 2>sort of comes half too, and then she launches at

0:05:48.561 --> 0:05:50.281
<v Speaker 2>me and she's yelling at me, telling me.

0:05:50.241 --> 0:05:52.921
<v Speaker 3>Not to touch me, And I was like, this is my

0:05:53.081 --> 0:05:54.241
<v Speaker 3>bed because.

0:05:54.001 --> 0:05:56.161
<v Speaker 1>They sleep like starfish kids do.

0:05:56.681 --> 0:06:00.041
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she was literally like from the way that you

0:06:00.161 --> 0:06:03.081
<v Speaker 2>normally meant to lay and then she fully swiveled so

0:06:03.121 --> 0:06:05.640
<v Speaker 2>head was like almost hanging off the side of the bed,

0:06:06.241 --> 0:06:08.561
<v Speaker 2>and her legs were across the bed towards my back,

0:06:08.641 --> 0:06:10.880
<v Speaker 2>and I was just like, this is a king bed.

0:06:11.121 --> 0:06:13.400
<v Speaker 3>Why are you even touching me? Like we should be

0:06:13.521 --> 0:06:14.721
<v Speaker 3>so far apart and.

0:06:14.721 --> 0:06:17.081
<v Speaker 1>I shouldn't even be able to fill me in the bed.

0:06:17.521 --> 0:06:21.201
<v Speaker 2>Then she gets to three o'clock and I she starts.

0:06:20.841 --> 0:06:24.121
<v Speaker 3>Coughing, Oh, you got to get up in an hour.

0:06:24.281 --> 0:06:25.400
<v Speaker 3>This is the bad mum.

0:06:25.281 --> 0:06:28.761
<v Speaker 2>Part, Katie, because I was like, oh, she's coughing, you know,

0:06:28.841 --> 0:06:31.801
<v Speaker 2>like it's just that dry. It's just when that temperature

0:06:31.921 --> 0:06:34.961
<v Speaker 2>just drops in the room at like three am, four

0:06:35.001 --> 0:06:38.281
<v Speaker 2>am shifts it's a little bit cooler, and then that

0:06:38.481 --> 0:06:40.440
<v Speaker 2>aggravated cough that just keeps going.

0:06:40.481 --> 0:06:43.081
<v Speaker 3>She's not sick, but it's a big cough.

0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:46.001
<v Speaker 2>Enough to wake me up an hour before I meant

0:06:46.001 --> 0:06:49.561
<v Speaker 2>to be getting up. So goodbye, Rachel getting another hour

0:06:49.641 --> 0:06:51.641
<v Speaker 2>sleep because you're not going to go back to sleep.

0:06:52.401 --> 0:06:56.361
<v Speaker 3>I tried letting it go until I just got up

0:06:56.401 --> 0:06:57.481
<v Speaker 3>and I walked up.

0:06:57.561 --> 0:07:00.401
<v Speaker 2>I put a heat pack in the microwave, I heated

0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:03.081
<v Speaker 2>it up, put it in her own bed. Katie trying

0:07:03.121 --> 0:07:05.841
<v Speaker 2>to pick up my child dead to the world at

0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:10.201
<v Speaker 2>her size was like drape seeing this child over me anyway,

0:07:10.281 --> 0:07:11.281
<v Speaker 2>carried her up to her bed.

0:07:11.281 --> 0:07:15.481
<v Speaker 3>She because what are you doing? I was like, you

0:07:15.601 --> 0:07:16.881
<v Speaker 3>just keep coughing.

0:07:16.481 --> 0:07:18.961
<v Speaker 2>All over me, and all I could think about is

0:07:19.161 --> 0:07:22.041
<v Speaker 2>just the coughing germs just kitting me, like.

0:07:22.361 --> 0:07:23.921
<v Speaker 3>And just so loud.

0:07:24.881 --> 0:07:27.481
<v Speaker 2>I started getting like emotional, because you do because you

0:07:27.481 --> 0:07:30.081
<v Speaker 2>haven't had much sleep, and you're like, i's need half

0:07:30.081 --> 0:07:30.801
<v Speaker 2>an hour more.

0:07:31.241 --> 0:07:33.921
<v Speaker 3>Didn't go back to sleep, but she did.

0:07:34.241 --> 0:07:36.161
<v Speaker 1>Oh good. She was seven.

0:07:36.561 --> 0:07:37.041
<v Speaker 3>And then I.

0:07:37.161 --> 0:07:39.521
<v Speaker 2>Literally drove to work at like four point thirty in

0:07:39.561 --> 0:07:42.801
<v Speaker 2>the morning, going, you're a shit mom. You're a ship

0:07:42.961 --> 0:07:46.041
<v Speaker 2>mom for moving your child out of a warm bed

0:07:46.321 --> 0:07:49.521
<v Speaker 2>because she was coughing. She's not unwell, but she's got

0:07:49.561 --> 0:07:51.761
<v Speaker 2>a cough, so you know you want to care for them.

0:07:52.121 --> 0:07:52.641
<v Speaker 3>I don't.

0:07:52.801 --> 0:07:54.641
<v Speaker 2>I just pick her up and move it to the

0:07:54.641 --> 0:07:57.281
<v Speaker 2>part of their house where I can't hear her coughing.

0:07:57.521 --> 0:07:59.361
<v Speaker 1>No, I don't think you were a bad mum for that.

0:07:59.521 --> 0:08:01.801
<v Speaker 1>I would absolutely do the same, And to be honest,

0:08:01.921 --> 0:08:04.761
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't have probably let her even stay in there

0:08:04.801 --> 0:08:07.441
<v Speaker 1>for that that long. So I'm even worse than you.

0:08:07.801 --> 0:08:11.321
<v Speaker 2>I literally tortured myself for the half an hour drive

0:08:11.361 --> 0:08:13.600
<v Speaker 2>that I have to work about being a mum, being

0:08:13.601 --> 0:08:16.801
<v Speaker 2>a bad mum. No for moving my child when she

0:08:17.361 --> 0:08:20.841
<v Speaker 2>is unwell, not unwell but had a cough, just so.

0:08:20.921 --> 0:08:22.241
<v Speaker 3>That she's out of ears reach.

0:08:23.321 --> 0:08:26.161
<v Speaker 1>I got to the point when my girls were younger

0:08:26.561 --> 0:08:29.001
<v Speaker 1>where if they came in and woke me up, I'd

0:08:29.001 --> 0:08:31.081
<v Speaker 1>get so angry, like it just there was just this

0:08:31.241 --> 0:08:33.041
<v Speaker 1>raged inside of me that was like, oh, I'm still

0:08:33.041 --> 0:08:34.721
<v Speaker 1>asleep and now I'm not gonna be able to get

0:08:34.761 --> 0:08:37.241
<v Speaker 1>back to sleep. And I remember a moment Holly came

0:08:37.281 --> 0:08:41.241
<v Speaker 1>in and I remember like opening my eyes and just

0:08:41.281 --> 0:08:47.641
<v Speaker 1>like yelling what. And then my kids had this thing

0:08:47.681 --> 0:08:50.041
<v Speaker 1>where they used to say, oh, if you wake up

0:08:50.081 --> 0:08:52.361
<v Speaker 1>in the night, don't wake up mom, go wake up

0:08:52.441 --> 0:08:56.641
<v Speaker 1>Dad instead. Mom gets really angry. I was like, oh, no,

0:08:57.601 --> 0:08:58.281
<v Speaker 1>that's bad.

0:08:59.201 --> 0:09:02.281
<v Speaker 2>Oh there's moments Katie where I go, oh my gosh.

0:09:02.401 --> 0:09:05.001
<v Speaker 1>She woke me up one night and I did that

0:09:05.241 --> 0:09:08.081
<v Speaker 1>same thing. I was like what, and she was like,

0:09:08.161 --> 0:09:13.361
<v Speaker 1>my tooth's fallen. Am out. I was like, oh, timing,

0:09:13.561 --> 0:09:14.281
<v Speaker 1>go back to sleep.

0:09:14.441 --> 0:09:18.281
<v Speaker 2>Speaking of teeth, the last tooth that Elsie lost, the

0:09:18.321 --> 0:09:22.121
<v Speaker 2>tooth Fairries wrote a note and now she's like on

0:09:22.161 --> 0:09:25.041
<v Speaker 2>a mission going through the house, getting everyone to write

0:09:25.161 --> 0:09:25.881
<v Speaker 2>to see.

0:09:25.681 --> 0:09:27.721
<v Speaker 3>Who's handwriting it.

0:09:27.761 --> 0:09:30.561
<v Speaker 1>Is that just a note suspicious?

0:09:30.921 --> 0:09:31.281
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:09:31.321 --> 0:09:33.401
<v Speaker 2>I laughed because I was like, if you can't tell

0:09:33.481 --> 0:09:38.521
<v Speaker 2>who's handwriting that is Elsie today, chicken scratch is not

0:09:38.601 --> 0:09:42.041
<v Speaker 2>mine