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Speaker 1: Apod Shape Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am

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Speaker 1: I A Bad Mum? Podcast?

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Speaker 2: It is It is one of those podcasts that continues

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Speaker 2: to give over and over again because parenting is one

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Speaker 2: of those jobs that doesn't go away.

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Speaker 1: It's always funny when you look at those like memes

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Speaker 1: or things which are talking about mums and how many

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Speaker 1: hats they wear, like, yeah, ain't get any sick pay,

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Speaker 1: I don't get any holiday pay. I'm on twenty four

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Speaker 1: to seven. I'm a chef. I'm a chef, I'm a

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Speaker 1: nurse cleaner, I'm a psychologist, I'm an uber driver.

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Speaker 3: And I have been really stripping back that whole idea.

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Speaker 3: At the moment, I don't know why.

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Speaker 2: Well I do kind of know why, because you know,

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Speaker 2: we've had some big thing happened circumstantially in our last

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Speaker 2: few months, and I was just like.

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Speaker 3: What are we doing? Why are we doing all of this?

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Speaker 3: And then I like have this moment of going, it's

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Speaker 3: not for long. I have got not long to go.

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Speaker 2: And you talk about this as a parent, it never stops,

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Speaker 2: but it goes in these stages with the ages that

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Speaker 2: they are, and then the roles change and then all

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Speaker 2: of a sudden. I panic at the moment, going, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, I haven't got much longer, you know, I like,

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Speaker 2: haven't got much longer. How much longer will they want

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Speaker 2: to sit and watch a movie with me?

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Speaker 3: Or like how long would I keep weighing all that up.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting because I'm definitely in that stage where the

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Speaker 1: girls are not wanting to do as much with us.

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Speaker 1: But then there are random moments like last night, so

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Speaker 1: my girls like to have a shower, and then they

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Speaker 1: like to watch something on their laptops, like whatever Netflix

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Speaker 1: show or what they're watching. And then last night, literally

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Speaker 1: about eight o'clock, Holly comes down and goes, what are

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Speaker 1: you watching? I'm gonna sit with you. Sat in the

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Speaker 1: middle of us, We're watching Master Chef. You're like that

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Speaker 1: she's Master Chef?

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Speaker 3: Are you feeling okay? She just needs a bit of company.

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Speaker 2: See I look at that and just go so all

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Speaker 2: those role plays, you know, the roles that we play

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Speaker 2: as parents, like I haven't got very much longer to

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Speaker 2: be an uber driver. Well, and even with food, like

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Speaker 2: they're gonna get to a point I'll get to like

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Speaker 2: fifteen or sixteen. Just be like that's fine, I'll cook

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Speaker 2: something or like they just won't need you as much.

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Speaker 1: No, but thinking about that, they won't need you as much,

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Speaker 1: But then on the flip side, they'll turn really, really

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Speaker 1: fucking lazy, and so then they will still want you

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Speaker 1: to do everything because I look at my girls now

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Speaker 1: they have the ability to do whatever. Yeah, cook dinner.

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Speaker 1: I still have time, So ch well, I'll come home

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Speaker 1: so late and I'll go, did you put the dinner on?

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Speaker 1: And they go, now, we're waiting for you. And it

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Speaker 1: could be something so simple that's just like put in

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Speaker 1: the oven or something like that, and they don't do it, sorry,

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Speaker 1: because they can't bothered.

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Speaker 3: That would kill me.

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Speaker 1: They need to be for a long time. But it's

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Speaker 1: just pure laziness.

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Speaker 2: That's am I a bad mum for kicking my child

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Speaker 2: out of the bed?

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Speaker 1: This is no you nod, that's absolutely what you need

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Speaker 1: to do.

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Speaker 2: We were carrying this on because we had spoken about

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Speaker 2: this a few weeks ago about me feeling bad for

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Speaker 2: two things. One feeling like I'm bad because I feel

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Speaker 2: like I'm undoing a habit that I had positively created.

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Speaker 3: Which is children sleeping in their own beds.

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Speaker 2: And then I was like really questioning myself about being like,

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Speaker 2: maybe not very nurturing by letting her sleep more in

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Speaker 2: our bed. So then I do the flip side Katie

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Speaker 2: and then feel like I'm making.

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Speaker 3: Up for it. Now does that make sense? And now

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Speaker 3: we fast.

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Speaker 2: Forward to you know, a few weeks forward, and she

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Speaker 2: comes down. This is Elsie comes down and she goes, Mom,

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Speaker 2: I'm really scared. I need to sleep in I'm really scared.

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Speaker 2: I really need to sleep in bed. I was like,

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Speaker 2: M and then my head, I was like, just need

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Speaker 2: some sleep because I've got to get up at four

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Speaker 2: am tomorrow morning. It was like a Sunday night. I've

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Speaker 2: got to start work at like, I've got to be

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Speaker 2: up by four am. So I tried every excuse here.

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Speaker 2: I am as the parent, as the adult, making excuses

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Speaker 2: to my nine year old. Oh but what happens when

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Speaker 2: I get up at four am? And she's like, that's okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm okay to stay down here by myself. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, but every other time that I've gone, you

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Speaker 2: always fast about how he's too scared to get up

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Speaker 2: and blah blah.

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Speaker 3: I tried everything to coax her with that.

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Speaker 2: I was like, not anyway, as I do, I cave

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Speaker 2: and give in and say you need to go to

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Speaker 2: sleep right now, though no reading enough, go to sleep

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Speaker 2: right now.

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Speaker 3: She gets into bed, she does it.

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Speaker 2: She's comfortable, she's happy, she's feels safe, all of those things.

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Speaker 3: She literally just goes to sleep. There's no fight. But

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Speaker 3: then halfway through the night.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, one stage woke up and she's got her foot

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Speaker 2: launched in the middle of my back. So I tried

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Speaker 2: to say, real calm, just like edge her leg over,

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Speaker 2: but she shouldn't move it. She's up to my shoulder now,

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Speaker 2: Like she's not a small child, like I don't have

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Speaker 2: small wafers sort of children. I don't know how else

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Speaker 2: to describe it. They're fucking heavy, and so I'm trying

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Speaker 2: to like launch her legs sort of out of the

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Speaker 2: middle of my back and send it towards the other

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Speaker 2: side of the bed. That wasn't going well. Then she

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Speaker 2: sort of comes half too, and then she launches at

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Speaker 2: me and she's yelling at me, telling me.

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Speaker 3: Not to touch me, And I was like, this is my

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Speaker 3: bed because.

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Speaker 1: They sleep like starfish kids do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she was literally like from the way that you

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Speaker 2: normally meant to lay and then she fully swiveled so

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Speaker 2: head was like almost hanging off the side of the bed,

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Speaker 2: and her legs were across the bed towards my back,

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Speaker 2: and I was just like, this is a king bed.

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Speaker 3: Why are you even touching me? Like we should be

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Speaker 3: so far apart and.

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't even be able to fill me in the bed.

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Speaker 2: Then she gets to three o'clock and I she starts.

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Speaker 3: Coughing, Oh, you got to get up in an hour.

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Speaker 3: This is the bad mum.

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Speaker 2: Part, Katie, because I was like, oh, she's coughing, you know,

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Speaker 2: like it's just that dry. It's just when that temperature

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Speaker 2: just drops in the room at like three am, four

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Speaker 2: am shifts it's a little bit cooler, and then that

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Speaker 2: aggravated cough that just keeps going.

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Speaker 3: She's not sick, but it's a big cough.

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Speaker 2: Enough to wake me up an hour before I meant

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Speaker 2: to be getting up. So goodbye, Rachel getting another hour

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Speaker 2: sleep because you're not going to go back to sleep.

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Speaker 3: I tried letting it go until I just got up

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Speaker 3: and I walked up.

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Speaker 2: I put a heat pack in the microwave, I heated

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Speaker 2: it up, put it in her own bed. Katie trying

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Speaker 2: to pick up my child dead to the world at

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Speaker 2: her size was like drape seeing this child over me anyway,

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Speaker 2: carried her up to her bed.

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Speaker 3: She because what are you doing? I was like, you

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Speaker 3: just keep coughing.

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Speaker 2: All over me, and all I could think about is

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Speaker 2: just the coughing germs just kitting me, like.

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Speaker 3: And just so loud.

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Speaker 2: I started getting like emotional, because you do because you

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Speaker 2: haven't had much sleep, and you're like, i's need half

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Speaker 2: an hour more.

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Speaker 3: Didn't go back to sleep, but she did.

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Speaker 1: Oh good. She was seven.

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Speaker 3: And then I.

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Speaker 2: Literally drove to work at like four point thirty in

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Speaker 2: the morning, going, you're a shit mom. You're a ship

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Speaker 2: mom for moving your child out of a warm bed

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Speaker 2: because she was coughing. She's not unwell, but she's got

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Speaker 2: a cough, so you know you want to care for them.

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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Speaker 2: I just pick her up and move it to the

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Speaker 2: part of their house where I can't hear her coughing.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't think you were a bad mum for that.

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Speaker 1: I would absolutely do the same, And to be honest,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't have probably let her even stay in there

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Speaker 1: for that that long. So I'm even worse than you.

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Speaker 2: I literally tortured myself for the half an hour drive

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Speaker 2: that I have to work about being a mum, being

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Speaker 2: a bad mum. No for moving my child when she

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Speaker 2: is unwell, not unwell but had a cough, just so.

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Speaker 3: That she's out of ears reach.

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Speaker 1: I got to the point when my girls were younger

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Speaker 1: where if they came in and woke me up, I'd

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Speaker 1: get so angry, like it just there was just this

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Speaker 1: raged inside of me that was like, oh, I'm still

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Speaker 1: asleep and now I'm not gonna be able to get

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Speaker 1: back to sleep. And I remember a moment Holly came

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Speaker 1: in and I remember like opening my eyes and just

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Speaker 1: like yelling what. And then my kids had this thing

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Speaker 1: where they used to say, oh, if you wake up

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Speaker 1: in the night, don't wake up mom, go wake up

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Speaker 1: Dad instead. Mom gets really angry. I was like, oh, no,

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Speaker 1: that's bad.

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Speaker 2: Oh there's moments Katie where I go, oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: She woke me up one night and I did that

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Speaker 1: same thing. I was like what, and she was like,

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Speaker 1: my tooth's fallen. Am out. I was like, oh, timing,

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Speaker 1: go back to sleep.

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Speaker 2: Speaking of teeth, the last tooth that Elsie lost, the

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Speaker 2: tooth Fairries wrote a note and now she's like on

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Speaker 2: a mission going through the house, getting everyone to write

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Speaker 2: to see.

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Speaker 3: Who's handwriting it.

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Speaker 1: Is that just a note suspicious?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I laughed because I was like, if you can't tell

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Speaker 2: who's handwriting that is Elsie today, chicken scratch is not

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Speaker 2: mine