1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,721 Speaker 1: Apogee Production, Life stuff, life, parenting. 2 00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,441 Speaker 2: We're doing life together and we're just going to tell 3 00:00:16,481 --> 00:00:17,161 Speaker 2: you all about it. 4 00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:21,881 Speaker 1: I hate the word perimenopause. I can't We're not in menopause. 5 00:00:21,961 --> 00:00:23,001 Speaker 1: Like it's making me angry. 6 00:00:23,761 --> 00:00:28,121 Speaker 2: What Welcome back. 7 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,961 Speaker 1: To another episode of who even are we? I hope 8 00:00:31,961 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: you're enjoying our Instagram and Facebook videos. 9 00:00:35,801 --> 00:00:38,721 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like my whole feed is that now. 10 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 2: I feel like throwing a few extras just to my 11 00:00:42,361 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 2: actual feed. 12 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:47,961 Speaker 1: I broke it up with that Chat GPT caricature. Yeah, yeah, 13 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: I saw it on your put it up and then 14 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,480 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm going to do that, and 15 00:00:51,561 --> 00:00:53,801 Speaker 1: so I typed it up. Do you know what's funny 16 00:00:54,361 --> 00:00:57,401 Speaker 1: is there was then something in the news or somewhere 17 00:00:57,801 --> 00:01:02,161 Speaker 1: which talked about every time we get chat GPT to 18 00:01:02,241 --> 00:01:05,761 Speaker 1: do a picture, any picture, how much energy and water 19 00:01:06,241 --> 00:01:08,041 Speaker 1: is consumed. 20 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 2: To generate one image. But that's not even just that 21 00:01:11,761 --> 00:01:13,321 Speaker 2: character thing that we all did. 22 00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:17,401 Speaker 1: My girls because they're gen z and they love Billie 23 00:01:17,401 --> 00:01:20,481 Speaker 1: Eilish and she's very influential. It's like a cult, and 24 00:01:20,521 --> 00:01:24,481 Speaker 1: she is so big on climate change and they hate 25 00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: chat GBT. They used to use it. Yeah, before they 26 00:01:27,881 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: realized how much water I. 27 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 2: Use it for her assignments. 28 00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:34,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, they did until they realized how much water is used. 29 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,921 Speaker 2: I heard the same thing because it was in regards 30 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,481 Speaker 2: to Eline Masks, something to do with him trying to 31 00:01:41,521 --> 00:01:43,441 Speaker 2: get to space in order. 32 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: To be able to he wants to operate it on 33 00:01:45,721 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: the moon. 34 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:50,761 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, so that it doesn't require as much. Yeah. 35 00:01:50,801 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: Anyway, he's not going to waste our resources. He's gonna 36 00:01:53,961 --> 00:01:57,161 Speaker 1: fuck up the entire galaxy. So here's your world. 37 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,601 Speaker 2: I fucked that up. Now I'm going to go to 38 00:01:58,641 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 2: space and fuck that up down dude. Okay, great, let's 39 00:02:02,201 --> 00:02:02,521 Speaker 2: do it. 40 00:02:04,241 --> 00:02:07,241 Speaker 1: In this episode, we are talking about. 41 00:02:07,281 --> 00:02:12,481 Speaker 2: Are we in a midlife crisis or a mid life awakening. 42 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: This is really interesting because I did some work with 43 00:02:15,601 --> 00:02:21,041 Speaker 1: my counselor on this, and she said one of the 44 00:02:21,081 --> 00:02:24,441 Speaker 1: things about no I hate using the word perimenopause, but 45 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 1: one of the things about our age group and possible 46 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,921 Speaker 1: perimenopause is that we go inwards. 47 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,241 Speaker 2: You go for the inner searching, the inner searching, not 48 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:34,681 Speaker 2: the bet her. 49 00:02:34,841 --> 00:02:37,041 Speaker 1: And when I say that, it's almost like we go 50 00:02:37,561 --> 00:02:42,121 Speaker 1: I've done everything for everybody for so many years, kids, 51 00:02:42,361 --> 00:02:46,641 Speaker 1: husband's house, pets, and then all of a sudden, we go, well, 52 00:02:46,641 --> 00:02:48,961 Speaker 1: what about me, I actually want to do something for myself. 53 00:02:49,321 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 1: How many times do you say to your kids? Because 54 00:02:51,161 --> 00:02:54,081 Speaker 1: I definitely do this now. I'm like, well, I actually 55 00:02:54,121 --> 00:02:55,841 Speaker 1: want to do that for me. It's not about you 56 00:02:55,921 --> 00:02:58,721 Speaker 1: for a second. This is now about me. They'll say 57 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:01,321 Speaker 1: something like, oh, what are we doing this for? And 58 00:03:01,361 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, because I want to do it, and it's 59 00:03:02,841 --> 00:03:03,801 Speaker 1: my weekend too. 60 00:03:05,281 --> 00:03:07,041 Speaker 2: I'm going to strip it back and I'm going to 61 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:10,281 Speaker 2: take perimenopause straight out of there, because like buzzword, but 62 00:03:10,401 --> 00:03:13,721 Speaker 2: also I'm oh, just makes me feel really like sad inside. 63 00:03:14,401 --> 00:03:18,081 Speaker 2: And I'm going to ask you, do you think that 64 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,441 Speaker 2: it is based on where you're at right now? Do 65 00:03:21,481 --> 00:03:24,601 Speaker 2: you think that that is based on where your children 66 00:03:24,641 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 2: are at right now instead of perimenopause because you have 67 00:03:28,361 --> 00:03:32,761 Speaker 2: now got time and space and availability to do the 68 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,921 Speaker 2: inner searching, because your girls are at the end, they're graduating, 69 00:03:35,961 --> 00:03:39,921 Speaker 2: they're graduating Tafe, they're graduating high school, they've got jobs, 70 00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:43,601 Speaker 2: they've got a car, and now, all of a sudden, 71 00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:49,801 Speaker 2: for you, you're like, holy shit, like look at all this. 72 00:03:50,161 --> 00:03:52,961 Speaker 2: You're still running a business and working, you know, like 73 00:03:53,041 --> 00:03:55,761 Speaker 2: full time and everything like that. But there's a level 74 00:03:55,841 --> 00:03:59,961 Speaker 2: of availability of yourself again that you haven't had for 75 00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:03,601 Speaker 2: like eighteen years. Yeah, do you know what I mean? 76 00:04:03,681 --> 00:04:05,601 Speaker 2: Do you reckon? There's a part of that for you 77 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:09,641 Speaker 2: personally that that's why you are at this stage. Yeah. 78 00:04:09,641 --> 00:04:12,241 Speaker 1: And I also I went through so many years and 79 00:04:12,281 --> 00:04:14,401 Speaker 1: this was work I needed to do on myself. But 80 00:04:14,761 --> 00:04:16,321 Speaker 1: it would be a big deal for me to buy 81 00:04:16,361 --> 00:04:20,081 Speaker 1: new clothes because I'd be like, Oh, don't spend that, 82 00:04:20,441 --> 00:04:23,241 Speaker 1: Like you could be buying kids clothes or you know, 83 00:04:23,401 --> 00:04:25,481 Speaker 1: they need this or they need that, and I would 84 00:04:25,561 --> 00:04:29,681 Speaker 1: always put them first. And I remember having a conversation 85 00:04:29,721 --> 00:04:31,521 Speaker 1: with my husband Jay about it and I was like, oh, 86 00:04:31,561 --> 00:04:33,361 Speaker 1: you know, I just don't feel like I shouldn't And 87 00:04:33,361 --> 00:04:35,841 Speaker 1: he's like, why, I've never made you feel like that, 88 00:04:35,921 --> 00:04:38,561 Speaker 1: and I'm like, I know, you've actually not made me 89 00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:42,001 Speaker 1: feel like that, but there's a part of me that goes, oh, no, 90 00:04:42,121 --> 00:04:44,921 Speaker 1: you can't do that. I remember, and this is a 91 00:04:45,041 --> 00:04:50,841 Speaker 1: more of a recent thing being worried to try botox 92 00:04:51,281 --> 00:04:53,681 Speaker 1: two reasons. First of all, I was like scared of 93 00:04:53,721 --> 00:04:55,721 Speaker 1: it because I was like, ah, and I remember saying 94 00:04:55,721 --> 00:04:57,841 Speaker 1: to you, like, oh, what do you like does it 95 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,600 Speaker 1: feel weird, like what happens? And then the other part 96 00:05:02,081 --> 00:05:05,241 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I can't tell Jay that I to 97 00:05:05,281 --> 00:05:08,840 Speaker 1: have botox, Like it's expensive. What's he gonna think? Yeah, 98 00:05:09,001 --> 00:05:11,561 Speaker 1: when I look back at how I felt around it, 99 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:14,121 Speaker 1: it was like, well, but how about the part where 100 00:05:14,201 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: I'm still an adult, I earn my own money and 101 00:05:17,481 --> 00:05:21,121 Speaker 1: I want to try something for myself. How about that part? 102 00:05:21,201 --> 00:05:23,921 Speaker 1: Why am I not allowing that? Because the minute I 103 00:05:23,961 --> 00:05:25,721 Speaker 1: brought it up to him, he was like, I don't 104 00:05:25,721 --> 00:05:28,201 Speaker 1: think you need it, but if you want, yeah, And 105 00:05:28,281 --> 00:05:30,281 Speaker 1: I'd built it up to be such a big thing. 106 00:05:30,481 --> 00:05:32,401 Speaker 2: Do you think that you maybe build it up to 107 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,961 Speaker 2: be such a big thing because you're spending money on yourself, 108 00:05:36,761 --> 00:05:40,961 Speaker 2: but be doing something for yourself that has only got well, 109 00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:43,121 Speaker 2: I think that people do it for this reason. I'm 110 00:05:43,161 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 2: only saying this from my own reasoning with just using 111 00:05:46,281 --> 00:05:50,401 Speaker 2: botox in particular, is that I get the gratification from it. 112 00:05:50,481 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 2: Like I don't do it for anyone else. I do 113 00:05:53,761 --> 00:05:56,401 Speaker 2: it for me. And yeah, I've got to spend the money, 114 00:05:56,601 --> 00:05:58,921 Speaker 2: and yeah, I've got to do all those things, but 115 00:05:59,081 --> 00:06:00,921 Speaker 2: at the end of the day, I do it for 116 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,721 Speaker 2: my own gratification. I do it because it brings me 117 00:06:03,801 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 2: a level of confidence. Do you know what I mean? 118 00:06:05,681 --> 00:06:06,601 Speaker 2: I'm doing it for me. 119 00:06:06,921 --> 00:06:09,401 Speaker 1: The things that I had a problem with were the 120 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 1: things that I felt like I was doing selfishly. I 121 00:06:13,521 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: viewed it as being selfish. If I would go for 122 00:06:16,401 --> 00:06:19,561 Speaker 1: a massage, I'd lay there thinking I should be with 123 00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:23,161 Speaker 1: my children. If I was on a girl's night, I 124 00:06:23,201 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: would think I should be with my husband. All my issues. 125 00:06:26,481 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to say, see how all of 126 00:06:28,361 --> 00:06:33,801 Speaker 2: your own inner workings is. You're questioning yourself about all 127 00:06:33,841 --> 00:06:37,281 Speaker 2: of this. No one else is providing you any external pressure, 128 00:06:37,841 --> 00:06:40,281 Speaker 2: which is wonderful in your sake because I know that 129 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,041 Speaker 2: a lot of marriages and a lot of other relationships 130 00:06:43,041 --> 00:06:45,641 Speaker 2: out there might not be the same. There might be 131 00:06:45,761 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 2: different dynamics between husband and wife, and you were told 132 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,161 Speaker 2: that you cannot do things and vice versa. Stopping and 133 00:06:52,201 --> 00:06:56,361 Speaker 2: looking at it for you in particular, like midlife, you 134 00:06:56,401 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 2: know like you're not in a crisis, which we're saying, 135 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,521 Speaker 2: but it could be more an awakening because you've got 136 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:08,041 Speaker 2: availability emotionally, spiritually. Men, the load has I'm not saying 137 00:07:08,081 --> 00:07:10,721 Speaker 2: being taken off because it never just goes, but it's 138 00:07:10,761 --> 00:07:13,321 Speaker 2: been relieved it's like someone's taking the foot off the 139 00:07:13,321 --> 00:07:16,601 Speaker 2: gas a bit and you're like, holy shit, and you're 140 00:07:16,641 --> 00:07:20,641 Speaker 2: coasting and you have that availability like look around and go, oh. 141 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,361 Speaker 1: Look, oh no, is that what I want to do? 142 00:07:22,481 --> 00:07:24,841 Speaker 2: And I feel like that's where most women in our 143 00:07:24,881 --> 00:07:28,881 Speaker 2: age group get to because we get to like take 144 00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:33,041 Speaker 2: the foot off the gas for that like second, you know, 145 00:07:33,081 --> 00:07:35,121 Speaker 2: going back to like girls' night out or whatever. I 146 00:07:35,201 --> 00:07:36,881 Speaker 2: think it's a little bit to do with Like, you know, 147 00:07:36,921 --> 00:07:41,801 Speaker 2: I've always been strongly opinionated. Someone would say about many things, 148 00:07:41,881 --> 00:07:44,921 Speaker 2: but one thing is like going away and choosing to 149 00:07:45,001 --> 00:07:48,881 Speaker 2: have a weekend away by yourself or a weekend away 150 00:07:49,121 --> 00:07:53,281 Speaker 2: with a couple of girlfriends and just recharging the batteries. 151 00:07:54,601 --> 00:07:56,961 Speaker 2: It's super important because it does. It just gives you, 152 00:07:57,081 --> 00:07:59,201 Speaker 2: like two days or three days to take the foot 153 00:07:59,241 --> 00:08:01,801 Speaker 2: off the gas a bit and just coast. And while 154 00:08:01,801 --> 00:08:05,681 Speaker 2: you're coasting, obviously we all know the motion is still going, 155 00:08:05,801 --> 00:08:08,601 Speaker 2: but it's just charging rather than depletion. 156 00:08:09,201 --> 00:08:09,521 Speaker 1: Yeah. 157 00:08:09,721 --> 00:08:11,801 Speaker 2: I had a friend like literally call me and we 158 00:08:11,801 --> 00:08:14,961 Speaker 2: were chatting away and she's moved kids up to the 159 00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:18,241 Speaker 2: Sunny Coast. Her kids have started brand new schools. But 160 00:08:18,281 --> 00:08:21,001 Speaker 2: she's like, oh man, both kids have taken a hair 161 00:08:21,081 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 2: they want to move home, they've moved towns, they've moved everything. 162 00:08:24,281 --> 00:08:26,121 Speaker 2: And she's just in the heat of like that. And 163 00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:28,001 Speaker 2: she was like, and now I've got a girl's weekend 164 00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:30,401 Speaker 2: away this weekend, I feel really bad and I don't 165 00:08:30,441 --> 00:08:32,441 Speaker 2: know if I should go. And what about the kids? 166 00:08:32,761 --> 00:08:35,321 Speaker 2: What about my husband? I was like, this will be 167 00:08:35,361 --> 00:08:38,481 Speaker 2: the best thing for them, but most importantly, this will 168 00:08:38,521 --> 00:08:41,841 Speaker 2: be the best thing for you. Go what is gonna happen. 169 00:08:42,001 --> 00:08:44,481 Speaker 2: Life will carry on, your kids will be a okay, 170 00:08:44,561 --> 00:08:48,681 Speaker 2: your husband's absolutely all over everything. Just go and take 171 00:08:48,721 --> 00:08:50,361 Speaker 2: the time to recharge. If you want to lay on 172 00:08:50,401 --> 00:08:53,201 Speaker 2: the bed in the hotel room and do nothing for 173 00:08:53,281 --> 00:08:54,761 Speaker 2: three days, knock your boots off. 174 00:08:54,961 --> 00:08:57,601 Speaker 1: And the other thing with that as well is having 175 00:08:57,641 --> 00:09:00,561 Speaker 1: boundaries around your phone and how much you're checking in 176 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:04,281 Speaker 1: and how much you're available to everyone, because kids, when 177 00:09:04,281 --> 00:09:07,241 Speaker 1: they have access to phones, we'll be calling you all 178 00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:10,281 Speaker 1: the time, and we'll be messaging you, and we'll want 179 00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:12,961 Speaker 1: your attention when you're away even more. 180 00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,681 Speaker 2: So, Oh I know, And That's what I'd said to it. 181 00:09:14,761 --> 00:09:16,001 Speaker 2: I was like, you need to put your phone down. 182 00:09:16,521 --> 00:09:19,361 Speaker 2: The beauty of it is I'm not accountable to anybody else. 183 00:09:19,841 --> 00:09:22,801 Speaker 2: I'm accountable to my own time. I can go for 184 00:09:22,881 --> 00:09:25,321 Speaker 2: a walk along the river as long as I want, 185 00:09:25,641 --> 00:09:27,921 Speaker 2: I can have as many coffees as I want. I 186 00:09:27,961 --> 00:09:30,041 Speaker 2: can wear my gym clothes all day and not feel 187 00:09:30,081 --> 00:09:31,761 Speaker 2: guilty about it because I'm just going to walk the 188 00:09:31,761 --> 00:09:34,281 Speaker 2: shops and look at the sites and all of that. 189 00:09:34,401 --> 00:09:37,321 Speaker 2: Like there's so much in it that because you're not 190 00:09:37,441 --> 00:09:40,641 Speaker 2: under pressure or accountability to anyone else, it actually just 191 00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:44,081 Speaker 2: it just gives you space to breathe. But also you 192 00:09:44,121 --> 00:09:45,641 Speaker 2: feel like you again. Yeah. 193 00:09:45,681 --> 00:09:49,241 Speaker 1: And the trick is knowing that you can still be 194 00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:52,121 Speaker 1: a great mum and a great wife and a great 195 00:09:52,401 --> 00:09:55,761 Speaker 1: house runner whatever you want to call it. Yeah, yeah, 196 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:58,401 Speaker 1: and still do stuff for yourself. You can do those 197 00:09:58,401 --> 00:10:01,481 Speaker 1: things and still take the time to go, Okay, well 198 00:10:01,561 --> 00:10:06,241 Speaker 1: you know I've done that. I've taken them, their husband's fine, whatever. 199 00:10:06,881 --> 00:10:10,001 Speaker 1: So I am just gonna pop out and get a message, yeah, 200 00:10:10,121 --> 00:10:10,681 Speaker 1: or go through it. 201 00:10:10,841 --> 00:10:12,641 Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't even have to be you'll like phone, 202 00:10:12,761 --> 00:10:15,161 Speaker 2: Yeah you don't have Yeah, it's such a good one. 203 00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:17,281 Speaker 2: Check in with people that you haven't checked in with. 204 00:10:17,841 --> 00:10:21,121 Speaker 2: I'm the worst at it because, like I always panic 205 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,601 Speaker 2: that when the time is available for me. What if 206 00:10:23,641 --> 00:10:28,041 Speaker 2: I interrupt them doing something they're doing Rather than fuck it, 207 00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:31,521 Speaker 2: call them and what's the worst that could happen. It's 208 00:10:31,521 --> 00:10:34,721 Speaker 2: gonna go to voicemail. Yeah, I'm biggie, like call back. Yeah, 209 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,721 Speaker 2: and they'll call back, or I'll call them and it 210 00:10:36,801 --> 00:10:38,521 Speaker 2: might be that. Like you know one of the girls. 211 00:10:38,561 --> 00:10:41,481 Speaker 2: I called her the other night at eight pm because 212 00:10:41,481 --> 00:10:45,441 Speaker 2: I was making pancakes. I don't know why, but I 213 00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:47,761 Speaker 2: was making pancakes for my children at eight pm at night, 214 00:10:47,761 --> 00:10:49,441 Speaker 2: and I thought of her because she loves cooking, and 215 00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:51,041 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, just see what she's doing now. 216 00:10:51,081 --> 00:10:53,881 Speaker 2: She didn't answer, and she rang me about like the 217 00:10:53,961 --> 00:10:56,921 Speaker 2: next day at ten thirty, and she was like, I'm 218 00:10:56,961 --> 00:10:58,561 Speaker 2: so sorry. I was like, it's fine. I was just 219 00:10:58,641 --> 00:10:59,121 Speaker 2: checking in. 220 00:10:59,561 --> 00:11:02,681 Speaker 1: I reckon everybody. If you think for a second about 221 00:11:02,801 --> 00:11:04,881 Speaker 1: is there someone in your phone, someone that your friends 222 00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:07,841 Speaker 1: with right now? You haven't checked in for ages. You 223 00:11:07,881 --> 00:11:09,921 Speaker 1: put it off because you go, oh, they're probably busy, Oh, 224 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:13,481 Speaker 1: it's dinner time. Whatever. I feel like I do all 225 00:11:13,481 --> 00:11:15,881 Speaker 1: of my phone calls in the car because I feel 226 00:11:15,881 --> 00:11:18,481 Speaker 1: like that's when I get time, especially when he's sitting 227 00:11:18,481 --> 00:11:21,921 Speaker 1: in traffic. Yeah, you go, who can I call? How 228 00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:25,081 Speaker 1: can I take that off the list? While so doing 229 00:11:25,121 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: something also. 230 00:11:25,961 --> 00:11:29,041 Speaker 2: Filling buckets, well your bucket, do you know what I mean? Like, 231 00:11:29,241 --> 00:11:33,881 Speaker 2: sometimes the connection with others isn't about like well, first 232 00:11:33,881 --> 00:11:36,001 Speaker 2: and foremost you care about others, So it's like a 233 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:39,321 Speaker 2: you know, part of your service to friends that you 234 00:11:39,361 --> 00:11:41,961 Speaker 2: care about in your love. But also sometimes it's just 235 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:44,481 Speaker 2: being a little bit selfish of going, fuck, I really 236 00:11:44,521 --> 00:11:46,721 Speaker 2: need this. You know, you'll have that friend that you'll 237 00:11:46,721 --> 00:11:48,961 Speaker 2: call for a laugh, or you'll call that friend that 238 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,401 Speaker 2: you just need to vent and you just need to 239 00:11:50,441 --> 00:11:53,081 Speaker 2: get some heat off and she's gonna she's backing you 240 00:11:53,241 --> 00:11:56,121 Speaker 2: no matter what or he is, or vice versa. I 241 00:11:56,121 --> 00:11:58,561 Speaker 2: think sometimes it's going to be for you as well. 242 00:11:58,641 --> 00:12:01,481 Speaker 1: Right, and especially with social media, you don't hardly anybody 243 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:04,321 Speaker 1: goes on Instagram and goes I'm having a really tough day, 244 00:12:04,361 --> 00:12:06,921 Speaker 1: Like there's not many people that do that, or life 245 00:12:07,041 --> 00:12:11,401 Speaker 1: still no putting up your fucking caricature. That chat GPT 246 00:12:11,641 --> 00:12:14,321 Speaker 1: is done for you and you're showing that you're all fine. 247 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,521 Speaker 1: But like going to the gym, Rach, I don't love 248 00:12:17,641 --> 00:12:21,721 Speaker 1: going to the gym, However, I never feel bad afterwards, 249 00:12:21,721 --> 00:12:24,481 Speaker 1: I always feel great for having gone to the gym. 250 00:12:24,681 --> 00:12:27,641 Speaker 1: It's the same with calling people. I don't always feel 251 00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:32,001 Speaker 1: like calling people. There'd be certain friends I'm like, oh, like, 252 00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:35,161 Speaker 1: I haven't got time to call them whatever. When I do, 253 00:12:35,681 --> 00:12:38,241 Speaker 1: I never get off the phone and go, oh, that 254 00:12:38,321 --> 00:12:40,481 Speaker 1: was a waste of time. I always get off the 255 00:12:40,521 --> 00:12:42,641 Speaker 1: phone and go, oh, that was really good, Like that 256 00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:45,561 Speaker 1: caught up. Yeah, we're up today. I found out about 257 00:12:45,601 --> 00:12:48,001 Speaker 1: her life. She now knows a bit about mine. 258 00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:50,441 Speaker 2: I think right now, if we did that, if you 259 00:12:50,481 --> 00:12:53,641 Speaker 2: get off that phone from that person, that you go, fuck, 260 00:12:53,721 --> 00:12:57,881 Speaker 2: that was energy zapping. I got nothing from that. They 261 00:12:57,881 --> 00:13:00,281 Speaker 2: didn't even ask me how I was. Yeah, I just 262 00:13:00,361 --> 00:13:04,121 Speaker 2: listened to them. You start to retreat, You feel yourself retreat, 263 00:13:04,321 --> 00:13:06,801 Speaker 2: and you start to like withdraw and not want to 264 00:13:07,441 --> 00:13:10,401 Speaker 2: go there. Right. You don't want to call because it's 265 00:13:10,401 --> 00:13:13,001 Speaker 2: not filling both buckets, and it leads you down that 266 00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:16,441 Speaker 2: path of like friends stripping. And that's not a negative 267 00:13:16,601 --> 00:13:19,001 Speaker 2: in our age, Like, it's not a negative. There's so 268 00:13:19,081 --> 00:13:21,441 Speaker 2: many demands on us already. It's not a negative. I'm 269 00:13:21,441 --> 00:13:24,881 Speaker 2: not saying like that, but it makes you selective of 270 00:13:25,001 --> 00:13:28,801 Speaker 2: who in your friendship groups gets your time and energy. Yeah, 271 00:13:28,961 --> 00:13:29,601 Speaker 2: that's what I mean. 272 00:13:29,641 --> 00:13:32,721 Speaker 1: When you get older, I really do think that you 273 00:13:33,441 --> 00:13:38,321 Speaker 1: have less friends, but more meaningful relationships with friends. When 274 00:13:38,321 --> 00:13:40,121 Speaker 1: you're at school, you're like, you know, I don't know 275 00:13:40,161 --> 00:13:42,321 Speaker 1: if you flip around groups and you've got this friend 276 00:13:42,361 --> 00:13:44,361 Speaker 1: and you've got that friend, and this friend's from ballet 277 00:13:44,401 --> 00:13:46,001 Speaker 1: and that friends from. 278 00:13:45,721 --> 00:13:48,201 Speaker 2: So many friends whatever. So many my girls are like that. 279 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:51,601 Speaker 2: They will meet people and best friends. Oh, I made 280 00:13:51,601 --> 00:13:54,601 Speaker 2: a best friend today, And I'm like, I love that 281 00:13:54,881 --> 00:13:58,561 Speaker 2: for you, because I remember getting to like i'd been 282 00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:00,601 Speaker 2: told it all the way through, Katie, and you would 283 00:14:00,601 --> 00:14:04,001 Speaker 2: have heard it already that whole age I'd saying of like, 284 00:14:04,161 --> 00:14:07,481 Speaker 2: you'll only have five real friends, and I used to 285 00:14:07,521 --> 00:14:11,161 Speaker 2: look at and go, no, Now we're in this like midlife, 286 00:14:12,081 --> 00:14:15,161 Speaker 2: you start to really go how I didn't want it 287 00:14:15,161 --> 00:14:17,921 Speaker 2: to be true. And I'm not saying five is the number, 288 00:14:18,001 --> 00:14:19,761 Speaker 2: but I'm just saying a handful. Yeah. 289 00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:24,161 Speaker 1: What's really nice as well is the realization that you 290 00:14:24,241 --> 00:14:26,881 Speaker 1: can call people and it doesn't have to be for 291 00:14:26,921 --> 00:14:29,721 Speaker 1: a reason. So I don't know about you, but there 292 00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:31,961 Speaker 1: was definitely a part of me that you used to think, oh, 293 00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,961 Speaker 1: if I'm going to call someone there has to be 294 00:14:33,961 --> 00:14:36,041 Speaker 1: a reason I need to check in about something, I 295 00:14:36,081 --> 00:14:38,721 Speaker 1: need to tell them about something, whatever it might be. 296 00:14:39,281 --> 00:14:42,241 Speaker 1: And now it's like, actually, it's fine to say to 297 00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:44,721 Speaker 1: someone I don't want anything, just checking in to see 298 00:14:44,721 --> 00:14:45,161 Speaker 1: how you are. 299 00:14:46,441 --> 00:14:48,921 Speaker 2: I think it's the checking in part and that connection. 300 00:14:49,561 --> 00:14:51,721 Speaker 2: And then sometimes it will be for two minutes, and 301 00:14:51,721 --> 00:14:53,361 Speaker 2: then other times you look and go, shit, we've been 302 00:14:53,401 --> 00:14:57,121 Speaker 2: talking for twenty minutes, and then getting off the phone 303 00:14:57,441 --> 00:15:02,121 Speaker 2: and feeling fulfilled. Yeah, that is exactly where it's at. 304 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:04,521 Speaker 2: I can feel for filled after a two minute conversation 305 00:15:04,601 --> 00:15:06,961 Speaker 2: with people, or a twenty minute conversation or an hour 306 00:15:07,001 --> 00:15:07,881 Speaker 2: and a half long. 307 00:15:07,801 --> 00:15:10,721 Speaker 1: I feel like And the reason for this episode is 308 00:15:10,721 --> 00:15:13,721 Speaker 1: there's a bunch of things that you can do in 309 00:15:13,761 --> 00:15:16,401 Speaker 1: your week that don't have to be very big, but 310 00:15:16,641 --> 00:15:19,521 Speaker 1: do make your week feel that bit more fulfilling. So 311 00:15:19,561 --> 00:15:22,881 Speaker 1: if you think about your week, whatever you do, whether 312 00:15:22,961 --> 00:15:26,281 Speaker 1: it be work, picking up kids, like everyone's got their 313 00:15:26,361 --> 00:15:28,161 Speaker 1: routine right, and you do this and you do that, 314 00:15:28,201 --> 00:15:31,961 Speaker 1: and when you think about how much of your week 315 00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:36,001 Speaker 1: is doing it for other people, then just think about 316 00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:38,601 Speaker 1: how you can factor in little things for you. On 317 00:15:38,641 --> 00:15:41,161 Speaker 1: the weekend rate, it was raining and. 318 00:15:41,361 --> 00:15:46,441 Speaker 2: I guess cleaned out a cupboard. Okay, all right, okay, 319 00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,721 Speaker 2: it was raining be and then you sat and I 320 00:15:51,761 --> 00:15:54,201 Speaker 2: was like, oh, I feel like a cupboard story is 321 00:15:54,201 --> 00:15:54,641 Speaker 2: coming out. 322 00:15:54,841 --> 00:15:58,041 Speaker 1: No, and that would definitely be me, as you know, 323 00:15:58,641 --> 00:16:02,441 Speaker 1: because I'd be thinking how can I make my time productive? 324 00:16:02,481 --> 00:16:04,641 Speaker 1: I'm always doing that. I'm not very good at relaxing. 325 00:16:04,641 --> 00:16:07,121 Speaker 1: I don't know for ADHD or some kind of something 326 00:16:07,121 --> 00:16:10,561 Speaker 1: on the spectrum whatever it might be, but I'm not 327 00:16:10,681 --> 00:16:13,441 Speaker 1: very good at sitting and relaxing. And I do look 328 00:16:13,481 --> 00:16:15,361 Speaker 1: for things like that to do. Oh if there's nothing 329 00:16:15,361 --> 00:16:17,761 Speaker 1: else to do, or clean out the cupboard, yeah, fucking 330 00:16:17,921 --> 00:16:19,201 Speaker 1: sort the You're like. 331 00:16:19,401 --> 00:16:21,081 Speaker 2: I'm going to go and do that, and I go, 332 00:16:21,441 --> 00:16:23,841 Speaker 2: I'll walk the dog's fifty kilometers just so I don't 333 00:16:23,841 --> 00:16:24,441 Speaker 2: have to sit to. 334 00:16:24,841 --> 00:16:27,521 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I was like, what am I going to do? 335 00:16:27,681 --> 00:16:30,641 Speaker 1: And then I thought, I'm actually like kids are do 336 00:16:31,081 --> 00:16:34,241 Speaker 1: their own thing. Joe's doing watching the races whatever it was. 337 00:16:34,721 --> 00:16:38,201 Speaker 1: And I went upstairs and I found a chair which 338 00:16:38,241 --> 00:16:42,161 Speaker 1: I never sit in, and I read my book. My 339 00:16:42,361 --> 00:16:45,481 Speaker 1: dog came and sat with me. That was nice. Nobody 340 00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:50,241 Speaker 1: else was bothered where I was like, it's probably out 341 00:16:50,281 --> 00:16:53,361 Speaker 1: for an hour where no one was light, where's mum? 342 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:56,961 Speaker 1: And I sat and read my book. I even got sleepy, 343 00:16:57,161 --> 00:16:59,201 Speaker 1: and so I kind of just like closed my eyes 344 00:16:59,241 --> 00:16:59,881 Speaker 1: for a bit. 345 00:16:59,881 --> 00:17:01,841 Speaker 2: Yeah, and allowed yourself the time in. 346 00:17:01,761 --> 00:17:04,241 Speaker 1: Space, allowed myself the time. And it was just nice 347 00:17:04,281 --> 00:17:07,041 Speaker 1: because I was like, I don't have to do something 348 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 1: for anyone or the house. Yeah, in this moment, I 349 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,321 Speaker 1: can just do it for myself. 350 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,640 Speaker 2: I love that for you. I did not do that 351 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,041 Speaker 2: over the weekend, just for the record, Katie, and so 352 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:20,400 Speaker 2: I love that one of us got that. Because my 353 00:17:20,481 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 2: kids are different ages to yours. They don't sit still. 354 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,961 Speaker 2: My girls are ten and twelve. I'm in the thick 355 00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:31,681 Speaker 2: of it, like I am feeling like I want change 356 00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:36,200 Speaker 2: and I'm chasing change, and I don't know what it is. 357 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,881 Speaker 2: It's almost like I don't need a new sports car, 358 00:17:38,961 --> 00:17:43,721 Speaker 2: but I really want clarity, so unlike that midlife crisis 359 00:17:43,761 --> 00:17:47,521 Speaker 2: sports car. And then the awakening is like clarity and identity, 360 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,321 Speaker 2: and I guess it's self perseverance, but also a little 361 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 2: bit of individuality. And I'm chasing individuality because I feel 362 00:17:56,241 --> 00:18:00,961 Speaker 2: like all I am is mom. If I'm not mom, 363 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 2: then I'm like the housekeeper. And if I'm not the housekeeper. 364 00:18:04,441 --> 00:18:07,360 Speaker 2: I and the uber, and then I'm the pet sitter, 365 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,360 Speaker 2: and then I'm the pet walker, and then I throwing 366 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,401 Speaker 2: the cleaner in there, and then you've got the laundry, 367 00:18:12,521 --> 00:18:14,880 Speaker 2: and you just, honestly, Katie, I look at that and go, 368 00:18:14,921 --> 00:18:18,360 Speaker 2: but that's not fucking me. It's not me, and I 369 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,921 Speaker 2: don't want to just be that. I'm chasing and change, 370 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:24,121 Speaker 2: but I just don't know what it is. And that 371 00:18:24,441 --> 00:18:27,041 Speaker 2: is where if I was to say, like the mid 372 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,921 Speaker 2: life crisis or the awakening, I feel like maybe I'm 373 00:18:30,921 --> 00:18:32,921 Speaker 2: in a spin between the two welds. I just don't 374 00:18:32,921 --> 00:18:33,640 Speaker 2: have the sports car. 375 00:18:33,801 --> 00:18:36,561 Speaker 1: So this is going to sound like a really obvious thing, 376 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,721 Speaker 1: and lots of people do this, lots of people talk 377 00:18:38,761 --> 00:18:41,120 Speaker 1: about doing this, lots of people think about doing this 378 00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 1: and don't do it. 379 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:42,321 Speaker 2: That's me. 380 00:18:43,761 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 1: Is like writing it down. It seems like such a 381 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,481 Speaker 1: simple thing, but when you start writing, stuff comes out 382 00:18:49,481 --> 00:18:52,360 Speaker 1: that you don't even think that is conscious in your 383 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,360 Speaker 1: thoughts when you start writing about and again I do 384 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,161 Speaker 1: not do this, but on the occasions I do. It's 385 00:18:59,241 --> 00:19:03,041 Speaker 1: really helpful writing down, even just starting with what your 386 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,160 Speaker 1: day look like, what you enjoyed in your day, you 387 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 1: didn't enjoy any day, what you think you would like 388 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:11,880 Speaker 1: to do, what tomorrow could be. There's little things and 389 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,481 Speaker 1: like I want to give people some like journaling. 390 00:19:14,561 --> 00:19:15,680 Speaker 2: It's not what you're saying. 391 00:19:15,481 --> 00:19:19,081 Speaker 1: Journaling, but thought starters in things that you could do 392 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:24,241 Speaker 1: for yourself to not feel like you're always doing everything 393 00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:27,961 Speaker 1: for everyone else. And the first thing is being okay 394 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,481 Speaker 1: and not giving yourself a hard time for feeling like that. 395 00:19:30,721 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 1: Don't give yourself a hard time for feeling like that 396 00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:35,921 Speaker 1: because it's so normal. Everyone does it. Yeah, don't give 397 00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:38,801 Speaker 1: yourself a hard time for them doing it. If you 398 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,160 Speaker 1: do end up going for that massage, just sitting and 399 00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:43,801 Speaker 1: reading your book or going on a girl just go 400 00:19:43,961 --> 00:19:46,441 Speaker 1: that guilty because your kids will make you feel guilty. 401 00:19:46,721 --> 00:19:48,041 Speaker 2: They absolutely what do you. 402 00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:51,641 Speaker 1: Mean going away? They absolutely will make you feel guilty. 403 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: But it's just knowing that it's okay to do things 404 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,120 Speaker 1: for yourself. Book that massage, make that phone call with 405 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,641 Speaker 1: a friend, go on that night out instead of always 406 00:20:02,761 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 1: again me, oh no, I can't go on a night 407 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 1: got too much going on, don't feel like it like 408 00:20:07,801 --> 00:20:10,601 Speaker 1: we always do that. But how often do you then 409 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,640 Speaker 1: go on that night out and go oh, I had 410 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,481 Speaker 1: a really great time. Yeah, has some good conversations, nice food, 411 00:20:16,761 --> 00:20:18,161 Speaker 1: few drinks, whatever. 412 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,721 Speaker 2: And laugh. It's taking the pressure off and finding the 413 00:20:21,801 --> 00:20:24,641 Speaker 2: laughter and moments like that where you go it's all 414 00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:27,921 Speaker 2: too hard and I just can't be bothered going out 415 00:20:28,041 --> 00:20:30,961 Speaker 2: like sometimes you really have to push through that. Do 416 00:20:31,001 --> 00:20:32,161 Speaker 2: that you're there, you feel good. 417 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,321 Speaker 1: Do that appointment that you've been meaning to go to 418 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:38,680 Speaker 1: the tyro, to do the physio whatever. 419 00:20:38,561 --> 00:20:40,681 Speaker 2: After your body. You've only got one of them. 420 00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:44,321 Speaker 1: Yeah, go for a walk nature, I said to you 421 00:20:44,561 --> 00:20:47,400 Speaker 1: before we started recording. I had a stressful day yesterday 422 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,880 Speaker 1: and I looked outside over the creek which is at 423 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,360 Speaker 1: the back of our office, and I saw three ducks 424 00:20:52,441 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 1: lying in the sun and a water dragon watching them, 425 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,160 Speaker 1: and I thought, oh, that's really joyful. And I stood 426 00:20:58,201 --> 00:21:02,001 Speaker 1: there for a few minutes just watching them, because nature, again, 427 00:21:02,041 --> 00:21:02,641 Speaker 1: everyone knows. 428 00:21:03,201 --> 00:21:04,401 Speaker 2: I think about it all the time. 429 00:21:04,441 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 1: It's so On the weekend, it was raining, I walked 430 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,681 Speaker 1: on the treadmill at the gym. It was so fucking boring. 431 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:13,241 Speaker 1: I hated my life in that moment. It was gloomy 432 00:21:13,281 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 1: and raining outside. I was just walking along. 433 00:21:16,321 --> 00:21:18,200 Speaker 2: You know how you can overcome that, just put a 434 00:21:18,241 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 2: good podcast in find a laugh. 435 00:21:20,041 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, or what I should have done, right, it's I 436 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 1: should have put a waterproof jacket. Yeah, that's what I 437 00:21:25,281 --> 00:21:27,880 Speaker 1: got out in the rain and not cared. Yeah, that 438 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,160 Speaker 1: would have been fun. Yeah. 439 00:21:29,281 --> 00:21:31,561 Speaker 2: I just got to the point where I was like, oh, 440 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,360 Speaker 2: I can't even stand myself right now, I need to 441 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,041 Speaker 2: get outside. 442 00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:37,641 Speaker 1: So then the poor dogs. 443 00:21:37,561 --> 00:21:39,881 Speaker 2: They were drenched. I don't have rain jackets for them, 444 00:21:40,241 --> 00:21:42,041 Speaker 2: but they were having the best of time. And I 445 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,840 Speaker 2: did as much as you like. My shoes are wet now, 446 00:21:45,681 --> 00:21:48,201 Speaker 2: you know, my hair's a bit wet from the offspray. 447 00:21:48,241 --> 00:21:49,761 Speaker 2: But at the same time I felt better for it. 448 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,561 Speaker 2: Yeahs it's in nature. My girl's exactly like. I don't 449 00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 2: know if you do this, but I do make sure 450 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,920 Speaker 2: that my kids do it so that it reminds me 451 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 2: to do it with them. Is when no matter what 452 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,121 Speaker 2: time we get home, it's just like, shoes and socks off, 453 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:05,240 Speaker 2: go outside onto the grass for five minutes. Now. Am 454 00:22:05,281 --> 00:22:06,880 Speaker 2: I the person to tell you what it does and 455 00:22:06,921 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 2: what it means? Absolutely not. But I do know that 456 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:12,321 Speaker 2: there is a component of the excessive energy and stress 457 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:16,561 Speaker 2: from the day can just literally disperse into nature. And 458 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,961 Speaker 2: that is why we do it and to say, yes, 459 00:22:19,041 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 2: it's a bit woo woo. Absolutely go for gold. But 460 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 2: at the same time, I've seen it work for my kids. 461 00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 2: My kids can come out of that car jacked to 462 00:22:28,721 --> 00:22:30,880 Speaker 2: the eyeballs and it will be the afternoon where we 463 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,321 Speaker 2: don't have anything on, and I want them to sort 464 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:36,321 Speaker 2: of like dock like I want them to check back 465 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 2: in with nature. So then I make them do that. 466 00:22:38,761 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 2: You know, I don't explain that to them, but I'm like, 467 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 2: take shootings, socks off, go outside, five minutes, come back in, 468 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:45,921 Speaker 2: and then you can do as you wish. Yeah, and 469 00:22:46,041 --> 00:22:48,761 Speaker 2: just going back to your journaling part, which is important. 470 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,281 Speaker 2: I think journaling is really important for like, if you 471 00:22:51,561 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 2: get the time in the morning to go outside, like 472 00:22:55,921 --> 00:22:59,360 Speaker 2: get in that circadian rhythm of like get outside, get 473 00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:02,160 Speaker 2: that first hit of sunlight to your face, and it 474 00:23:02,241 --> 00:23:05,001 Speaker 2: might be two minutes because for us some people five 475 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,761 Speaker 2: minutes is so unachievable, but two minutes of like, you know, 476 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 2: get that feeling on your face and all the rest. 477 00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:13,400 Speaker 2: If you want a journal at that stage, because you've 478 00:23:13,441 --> 00:23:16,920 Speaker 2: made yourself, you know, have half an hour in that 479 00:23:17,041 --> 00:23:20,001 Speaker 2: wuietness when everyone else is sleeping. If that's your time 480 00:23:20,041 --> 00:23:23,201 Speaker 2: of day that you shine take that time to journal, 481 00:23:23,481 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 2: journal about whatever comes out first thought in your brain. 482 00:23:26,241 --> 00:23:27,921 Speaker 1: We can sit and we can talk about the things 483 00:23:27,921 --> 00:23:29,561 Speaker 1: that we should be doing. And we know the things 484 00:23:29,561 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: that I should be doing, but we don't necessarily see 485 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:32,601 Speaker 1: them myself. 486 00:23:33,001 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 2: And so, yeah, last night, I'm so angry that I 487 00:23:35,801 --> 00:23:38,640 Speaker 2: was reading stupid articles on my phone because I was 488 00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:41,200 Speaker 2: not really tired, so I was reading stupid articles on 489 00:23:41,241 --> 00:23:43,801 Speaker 2: my phone that don't mean anything to me or they're 490 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,640 Speaker 2: going to teach me nothing, and I was so angry. 491 00:23:46,721 --> 00:23:49,641 Speaker 1: Yeah, less social media time. That's a really interesting one 492 00:23:49,681 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 1: because it feels like, oh, I'm doing something for myself. 493 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,041 Speaker 1: I've got time, I'll just scroll. It doesn't not make 494 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:56,120 Speaker 1: you feel good. It never makes you feel good. The 495 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,360 Speaker 1: other thing I just wanted to mention quickly as well, 496 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 1: because this is something that I never did, is the 497 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,400 Speaker 1: spending money on yourself part. Like there was a real 498 00:24:04,521 --> 00:24:08,120 Speaker 1: block for me with that. I am someone that always 499 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,440 Speaker 1: worries about money. I always have worried about money. I 500 00:24:10,441 --> 00:24:12,241 Speaker 1: worry about money if I have it, I worry about 501 00:24:12,281 --> 00:24:14,400 Speaker 1: money if I don't worry about money because I have 502 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,161 Speaker 1: a business and I don't know where it's coming from 503 00:24:16,241 --> 00:24:18,761 Speaker 1: next month, and it's a real thing for me that 504 00:24:19,001 --> 00:24:20,481 Speaker 1: I need to obviously do some work. 505 00:24:20,681 --> 00:24:22,561 Speaker 2: There's some really good things you can learn about. 506 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 1: Spending money on myself has always been a thing that 507 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,561 Speaker 1: I never feel like I can do. And I'm going 508 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,921 Speaker 1: to say this, and it actually doesn't matter how much 509 00:24:31,961 --> 00:24:35,761 Speaker 1: money you do or don't have, because there's levels of it. 510 00:24:35,961 --> 00:24:38,360 Speaker 1: You know, when you have money and you need to 511 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:42,081 Speaker 1: buy an outfit and you go shopping and you go, Okay, 512 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:43,880 Speaker 1: you know, I've got this much money and I need 513 00:24:43,921 --> 00:24:48,001 Speaker 1: to buy an outfit and you never find anything. Never. However, 514 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,440 Speaker 1: when I feel like I don't have money to spend 515 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:54,440 Speaker 1: on something new for myself, I see something and I'm like, 516 00:24:54,521 --> 00:24:57,680 Speaker 1: oh my god, that's so nice. Can't buy it? Don't 517 00:24:57,721 --> 00:25:01,360 Speaker 1: have the money this month. And it's changing that mindset 518 00:25:01,481 --> 00:25:05,241 Speaker 1: of going actually, could I buy it? When I see it? 519 00:25:05,441 --> 00:25:07,241 Speaker 2: And it's going to readjig how you see. 520 00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:10,321 Speaker 1: And then rejig the money for the month because I 521 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,521 Speaker 1: really like that, and that's going to make me feel 522 00:25:12,681 --> 00:25:14,920 Speaker 1: really nice. Yes, it's a little bit of money that 523 00:25:14,961 --> 00:25:17,201 Speaker 1: you've spent on yourself. Can you shift things in other 524 00:25:17,281 --> 00:25:19,801 Speaker 1: areas so that you can feel good because you deserve 525 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:20,561 Speaker 1: to feel good too. 526 00:25:20,681 --> 00:25:23,681 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it's important. Like we're using clothing 527 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,080 Speaker 2: as an example, but for like others, it might be 528 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,880 Speaker 2: that massage. Right, don't be afraid to spend that money 529 00:25:29,921 --> 00:25:32,761 Speaker 2: because what you're doing is investing it in yourself. You're 530 00:25:32,801 --> 00:25:35,761 Speaker 2: investing it in your health. It might not be a massage. 531 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:39,561 Speaker 2: You haven't had a facial for like four years, and 532 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,360 Speaker 2: you feel really like my skin is drooping and I'm 533 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:43,921 Speaker 2: doing this and I'm doing that. Do you know what? 534 00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 2: Put that little bit of money away to do that? 535 00:25:46,721 --> 00:25:49,321 Speaker 2: And it might feel like you're spending all that money 536 00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:52,360 Speaker 2: for an hour, but that hour of that facial will 537 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:55,920 Speaker 2: mean and give you results like that will uplift your soul. 538 00:25:56,281 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 2: Like it could be anything that brings you joy, because 539 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,801 Speaker 2: each and every one of us it's something different of 540 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,001 Speaker 2: what brings you joy. Right, it might be that coffee 541 00:26:03,001 --> 00:26:06,681 Speaker 2: in the morning. People handbreak themselves over a coffee. I'm 542 00:26:06,721 --> 00:26:09,001 Speaker 2: not the person to be going around going like these 543 00:26:09,001 --> 00:26:11,200 Speaker 2: are the rules because I'm a money warrior too, but 544 00:26:11,241 --> 00:26:13,561 Speaker 2: I've been doing some work on that. But the other 545 00:26:13,561 --> 00:26:17,241 Speaker 2: part is you go if you keep handbreaking yourself from 546 00:26:17,281 --> 00:26:20,120 Speaker 2: what brings you joy, there's a double edged sword of 547 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,041 Speaker 2: that of going like, well, what are you really getting 548 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 2: from it? You're handbreaking yourself not to spend the money, 549 00:26:24,921 --> 00:26:26,761 Speaker 2: but you're really missing out on something that really brings 550 00:26:26,761 --> 00:26:29,201 Speaker 2: you joy in that half an hour with that hot coffee, 551 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,561 Speaker 2: for someone might just be the absolute highlight of their day. 552 00:26:34,001 --> 00:26:36,761 Speaker 1: Even little things like I've mentioned to you before, but 553 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,281 Speaker 1: I used to have this mindset of don't put the 554 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:43,521 Speaker 1: dryer on if it's sunny outside, hang every fucking sock 555 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,321 Speaker 1: on the line. And I've got to a point where 556 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:50,801 Speaker 1: I'm like, is putting the dryer on going to give 557 00:26:50,961 --> 00:26:54,281 Speaker 1: me back fifteen twenty minutes that I'm going to be 558 00:26:54,321 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 1: standing out there hanging every pair of undies on the line. 559 00:26:59,201 --> 00:27:01,521 Speaker 1: Can I just stick the dryer on and give myself 560 00:27:01,561 --> 00:27:02,041 Speaker 1: a break? 561 00:27:02,281 --> 00:27:02,521 Speaker 2: Yeah? 562 00:27:02,561 --> 00:27:03,481 Speaker 1: Absolutely you can. 563 00:27:03,561 --> 00:27:06,960 Speaker 2: Absolutely. It's not expensive underwear because that is going to 564 00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:08,521 Speaker 2: ruin it. 565 00:27:07,681 --> 00:27:12,160 Speaker 1: I get so much joy out of a little trip 566 00:27:12,201 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 1: to t K max and buying just one candle. 567 00:27:15,321 --> 00:27:18,561 Speaker 2: I know it's weird because I don't get that, and 568 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,680 Speaker 2: I don't get the cushion buying, but I love that 569 00:27:21,801 --> 00:27:22,241 Speaker 2: for you. 570 00:27:24,721 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 1: Just whatever it is that you like lights you up. 571 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:29,840 Speaker 1: Don't feel guilty I'm to do it. 572 00:27:29,961 --> 00:27:34,961 Speaker 2: Fuck it, don't follow us, stick it on the credit card.