1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Just for Girls. 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 1: You're probably thinking right now, Sam and Izzy is sounding 3 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,120 Speaker 1: a little bit different. Well that's because it's producer Blake 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: just quickly jumping on while Sam and Izzi are still 5 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: enjoying their trip in the US and winding down from Coachella. 6 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,119 Speaker 1: The girls are so excited to get back behind Mike 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: and give you all the updates, let you know everything 8 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,639 Speaker 1: you've missed, update you on that trip. I'm excited for 9 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,440 Speaker 1: the updates, so been like super busy, So I honestly 10 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 1: have a lot of catching up to do as well. 11 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 1: But until then, we're just releasing a few best of episodes. 12 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: This one I know you'll love. So it was actually 13 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: with the human lie Detector, Steve van Apern And there's 14 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: a really funny backstory here. So when I first started 15 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,879 Speaker 1: the podcast with the girls, first thing they said to 16 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,599 Speaker 1: me they were like, we want to do an episode 17 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,239 Speaker 1: where we do a lie detector. So I tried my 18 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,520 Speaker 1: little heart out to get my hands on a lie 19 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 1: detector and not everyone seems to have it in their 20 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: back pocket, which is kind of annoying. So I made 21 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: a few phone calls and ended up on the phone 22 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: to a guy called Steve van Apern and he told 23 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 1: me his back, his work he used to do across 24 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 1: matter cases and really big police cases, and how he's 25 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,319 Speaker 1: referred to as the human lie Detector. Pass it on 26 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: to the girls and we're like, oh my god, we 27 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: need to make this episode happen. And we did it, 28 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,399 Speaker 1: and it was honestly one of our favorite episodes we've 29 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,080 Speaker 1: ever recorded. So we thought we'll take a trip down 30 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,960 Speaker 1: memory lane, put this back in your ear drums, and 31 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: we cannot wait to see you in a few weeks 32 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: when the girls are back to give you all the updates. Enjoy. 33 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 2: Hi, guys, guys, welcome back to Just for Girls. We 34 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 2: have a very different episode this week, a. 35 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 3: Very very exciting one. So we have Steve joining us 36 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 3: today on this episode and he is known as the 37 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,119 Speaker 3: human lie Detector. 38 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 4: Welcome Steve, Thank you, thanks for having me. 39 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 2: We're so excited to have you. So Steve obviously does 40 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,919 Speaker 2: a lot of work in like crime and all that stuff, 41 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 2: but today we're just more here to hear about you know, 42 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 2: how can you tell if someone's lying, if a partner's 43 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 2: lying all that? Jazz I want to preface I've lost 44 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 2: my voice. I know it's going to be hard on 45 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 2: the years, guys, so I'll let Sam take the reins. 46 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 3: So, as Asy mentioned, you work on a lot of 47 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,919 Speaker 3: homicide cases and some major crime cases in Australia. 48 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 4: How did you get. 49 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 3: Yourself into that industry and tell us a little bit 50 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 3: more about that and what you do for the work. 51 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 5: Well, I joined South Australia Police and then Victoria Police 52 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 5: and I was always interested in psychological profiling, what made 53 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 5: serial killers and serial sex offenders tick. So I was 54 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 5: fortunate enough to go to the FBI. Back in those days, 55 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 5: it was called the Behavioral Sciences Unit. But the more 56 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 5: I learned about profiling, the more interested I'm becoming cognitive 57 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 5: and behavioral interviewing. I want to know why some of 58 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 5: the detectives I worked with were not very good at 59 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 5: spotting a lie or reading body language. So while I 60 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 5: was over there, they said, look, do you use polygraph 61 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 5: testing in your police department? And back then we didn't, 62 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 5: And they said, we use it for frauds, extortions, homicide, 63 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 5: sexual offenses. Why don't you train up with us and 64 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 5: then take the technology back. So that's exactly what I did. 65 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,359 Speaker 5: But after I come back, I thought, wouldn't it be 66 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 5: great to have the skill sets to work out when 67 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 5: people were lying to by analyzing not just what they're doing, 68 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,920 Speaker 5: but also what they're saying and how they're saying it. 69 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 5: And then all of a sudden, I started getting a 70 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 5: lot of media attention, and as you said, they media 71 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,639 Speaker 5: dubbed me the human light Attective. And this is why 72 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 5: I have no friends. 73 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 2: It's a pretty cool name. Love that I'm nervous. 74 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:19,239 Speaker 1: To be honest. 75 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 5: Well, it's funny because as you're sitting there, I'm actually baselining, 76 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 5: benchmarking your behaviors at the moment. And there'll be a 77 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 5: reason why, which we'll go into a little bit later. 78 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 5: But while I was doing the training, all of a sudden, 79 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 5: I started getting all these requests. One of them was 80 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 5: to write a book, which I did, and then I 81 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 5: started training intelligence agencies, homicide detectives, police departments and so on. 82 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 5: And I guess, at the end of the day, we 83 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 5: all want to know what happens when people lie, but 84 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 5: more importantly, how to pick out when somebody is lying. 85 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 5: And research on this is very clear. In fact, it's 86 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 5: very difficult for the average person to lie with believability 87 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 5: and credibility. However, the accuracy in picking out when somebody 88 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 5: is lying is between forty eight and fifty one percent 89 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 5: of the time that you're accurate. Why because we're often 90 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 5: influenced by people. We want to believe that the person 91 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 5: is telling us the truth, and we don't always pick 92 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:17,479 Speaker 5: up the telltale signs of what people do when they're lying. See. 93 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 5: I may be able to think of a lie, but 94 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 5: can I effectively communicate that lie and have you believe 95 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 5: what I say? And ironically, people often won't lie to you. 96 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 5: They'll just edit the information they supply you with, so 97 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 5: they'll be evasive or missive, dismissive, sidestep the issue, not 98 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 5: answer the question. But I honestly think there's no such 99 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 5: thing as a good liar because there will always be 100 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 5: some tells, some sea beach, some leakage. The problem is 101 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 5: is we miss those signs and those votal cues. When 102 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 5: I train with the FBI, they had a course called 103 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 5: Adaptive Interviewing, and they teach their agents to benchmark or baseline, 104 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 5: then look for deviations from that normative behavior. If you 105 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 5: haven't done that, how on earth are you going to 106 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 5: see when somebody's lying to. 107 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 3: Yes, So how would you then define lying? Are there 108 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 3: different types of lying? As you said just before that 109 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 3: some people may just double on the truth and stuff 110 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 3: like that. Do you think they're consciously lying on that 111 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,719 Speaker 3: they're not even conscious that they're doing it? 112 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 4: Like, what are the types of lying? 113 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 5: Okay? So the first part of the question, what is 114 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 5: a lie? A lie is where you willfully mislead somebody 115 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 5: knowing that what you're saying is factually incorrect, and that's 116 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 5: a deliberate behavior. Okay. And what are the things that 117 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 5: people lie about? Oh? Jeez, we lie about how we feel. 118 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:37,359 Speaker 5: We lie about to get ahead, We lie to impress 119 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 5: the potential partner or mate. We lie to make ourselves 120 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 5: look better. We lie for a myriad of reasons. And 121 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 5: it's part of a social concept that if and I 122 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 5: remember working on particular case and related to a child's 123 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,359 Speaker 5: sexual abuse case, and the child was quite young, and 124 00:05:56,520 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 5: it was interesting because the psychologist said that child up 125 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 5: to a certain age, if you say dress your daughter 126 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 5: as a ballerine or a fairy, she may honestly believe 127 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,119 Speaker 5: that she's a fairy. Is that a lie until such 128 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,840 Speaker 5: time that the person knows that what they're doing is 129 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 5: a lie. Then that's a totally different ballgame. So what 130 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 5: we need to do is just analyze what people say 131 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 5: and how they say it. Nine times out of ten 132 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 5: people say, oh, you know, he looked away, he must 133 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 5: be lying. Well, it's much more to it. We need 134 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 5: to look at verbal, non verbal and para paralinguistics, which 135 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:33,679 Speaker 5: we can talk about. 136 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,160 Speaker 2: Okay, I want to hear right, I've already We've been 137 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,479 Speaker 2: doing this for like what five minutes, and I'm already like, 138 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 2: this is my favorite episode I haven't done on s. 139 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 5: Let me give you a quick example. Start with you. 140 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 5: What was the very first job you had? 141 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,159 Speaker 4: For a very first job, I worked at a grocery store. 142 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 5: Do you remember when that was twenty. 143 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 4: Seventeen? 144 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,719 Speaker 5: Okay? And what was the name of your boss? 145 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 4: Jordan? Okay and Brendan. 146 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 5: Now what happened there is four times you looked away 147 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 5: when you were recalling historical events. Okay. Now, if you're thinking, 148 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 5: how is that important, Well, that's very important to someone 149 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 5: like me because I'm benchmarking your behavior. So I know 150 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 5: most of the time when you're processing information and recalling 151 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 5: a historical event, you look sometimes you're left, sometimes right, 152 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 5: predominantly More to your right. Now, if you're likely to 153 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 5: fabricate or create or embellish a false memory, you're then 154 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 5: going to access the creative side of your brain. So 155 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 5: I just prove that a loss of eye contact is 156 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 5: not on its own indicative deception, but more so of 157 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 5: neological recall. Right, So what I teach people is to 158 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 5: look for groups and clusters of behaviors. And in your case, 159 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 5: you engage in a lot of time. 160 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 2: I have no idea what you're going to say. 161 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 5: Either, you engage in a lot of preming and grooming gestures. 162 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,520 Speaker 5: There's a big difference. Okay, so I'm not really good 163 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 5: at this because I'm not a girl. But let's say 164 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 5: I'm a girl and I see a guy and I 165 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 5: like this guy. Often, when a girl is interested in 166 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 5: a guy, she will bombard him with behavioral cues to 167 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 5: signify that interest. But the problem is men have no idea. 168 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 5: Men don't know what the nonverbal cues and signs are. 169 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 5: So something like, if I was a girl interested, there'll 170 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 5: be things like good eye contact, touching hair, good frontal alignments. 171 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 2: I think I would just consider myself a figita. 172 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 4: Do you know what you are? 173 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 5: A figitor? But here's the difference. Right, So when you talk, 174 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 5: you're quite animated, whereas you're the opposite. So when you talk, 175 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,439 Speaker 5: that's fine, But if you're likely to get into a lie, 176 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 5: usually what we'll see is nonverbal cues such as deliberate blocking, masking, 177 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 5: and concealment behaviors. I call them lockdowns. And that's different 178 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 5: from what you do when you're normally call talking. So 179 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 5: when a person lies, it creates what we call cognitive load, 180 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 5: and it takes a lot of processing. If I'm going 181 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 5: to tell you or try to convince you of something 182 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 5: that I'm saying is true and I know it's not, 183 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 5: takes a lot of brain power. In fact, under MRI scanning, 184 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 5: when we lie, our brain lights up like a Christmas tree. 185 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 5: It is very difficult for the average person to lie 186 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 5: and to like convincingly. 187 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 4: Right you sorry? 188 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 2: Quick? Do you think because you've. 189 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 5: Started it's not a gesture That was actually a typical 190 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 5: grooming not a printing gesture like hair out of the eyes, 191 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 5: that type of thing. You did that a lot, but 192 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 5: also playing with jewelry. Now what I'm doing is I'm 193 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 5: drawing your attention to it. I say this never if 194 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 5: you go to date or if you're meeting people. Never 195 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,959 Speaker 5: ever draw a person's attention to their body language. 196 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 4: Why do you think that is, because then they'll stop 197 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:35,840 Speaker 4: doing it. 198 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, they're going to moderate, regulate and control it. So 199 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 5: what I teach people is to use that in your arsenal, 200 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:46,080 Speaker 5: together with good questioning, because sooner or later the real 201 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:50,320 Speaker 5: personality of somebody will show if you ask the right questions. 202 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 2: I need you to be sitting next to me on 203 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 2: my dates. 204 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,080 Speaker 3: So are there certain as you just said you described 205 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 3: eazy and I quite separately, are there personality traits that 206 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 3: make someone more prone to lying? 207 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 5: It depends. I deal with a lot of pedophiles. People 208 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 5: will often say to me, who do you think make 209 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 5: the best lies? Politicians or what? Pedophiles Without a doubt, 210 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 5: they're very good at manipulating their victims, their treatment providers, 211 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 5: and everyone in between. So usually you'll find if in 212 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 5: a social context, you've got to understand the motive, If 213 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:31,079 Speaker 5: you can understand why people will lie, then you're closer 214 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 5: to actually working out when people are lying. So usually, 215 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 5: in a let's say it's a dating situation, people are 216 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 5: going to tell you what they want you to know. 217 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 5: A great example, my previous business partner, Liz, she was 218 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,719 Speaker 5: on an online dating site and she was reading out 219 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 5: this profile to me and she went out with this 220 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 5: guy and on the profile it said he's six foot two, 221 00:10:56,280 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 5: is really well built, six pack. Abs goes to the gym, 222 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,440 Speaker 5: and I'm reading the profile and I'm having major problems 223 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 5: with it. And one of the statements was I'm trying 224 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 5: to get to the gym. What he's doing? Is he 225 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 5: telling you what he's trying to do if he'd gone 226 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 5: to the gym. I go to the gym regularly. So 227 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 5: how people use language will often bring them unstuck. Anyway, 228 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 5: she goes out with this guy and she said, I 229 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 5: couldn't believe it when I actually met him. He was 230 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 5: not six foot he was about five foot four, had 231 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 5: a podge guts and teeth like a serrated state knife. 232 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 5: So there's the reason why people lie in dating profiles 233 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 5: to find a potential partner and meet them, even though 234 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,080 Speaker 5: their part or whoever they meet will realize that they're 235 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 5: not the person that they say they are. And you 236 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 5: can understand why people lie. I mean, in my context, 237 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 5: in criminal context, you lie to me, and I've got 238 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 5: enough forensic, scientific, medical, or cooperative evidence and the jury 239 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 5: convicts you, You're gonna jar And I don't care how 240 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,200 Speaker 5: well prepared, And we were talking about this before, how 241 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 5: well prepared somebody is. You cannot possibly pre anticipate every 242 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 5: question that I'm likely to ask you. A great example 243 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 5: is if I'm interviewing you for say a homicide, and 244 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,160 Speaker 5: the pathologist has established a time of death yesterday at 245 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 5: seven fifteen pm, I'm going to ask you everything you 246 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,560 Speaker 5: did from the time you woke up to the time 247 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 5: you went to bed, and say around six pm, I'll say, 248 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 5: what did you do then I went out? Where did 249 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 5: you go to a restaurant? What was the name of 250 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 5: the restaurant, How did you get there, who did you 251 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 5: go there with, What time did you leave, What time 252 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 5: did you arrive? Have you been there before? What was 253 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 5: on the menu? What did you order? How did you pay? 254 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,320 Speaker 5: What time did you leave? That takes a lot of 255 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 5: cognitive processing if you're lying, and there will be see 256 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 5: pitch and that's where good interviewers can see that. 257 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 3: And will you not say that you can court them 258 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,839 Speaker 3: out on the lie? Will you just take notes and 259 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 3: like would you clock it and go? They were iffy 260 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:47,320 Speaker 3: about that. 261 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:51,199 Speaker 5: Well, it depends on what context in a social context. 262 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,679 Speaker 5: And I remember many years ago, I was at a 263 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 5: party and I was doing a lot of television in 264 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 5: the US, and somebody introduced me he is a human 265 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 5: lighte detector. And what happened was this woman and there's 266 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 5: probably about forty fifty people there, and she said to me, 267 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,600 Speaker 5: she said, oh, so you're the human line detector. I said, well, 268 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 5: I don't call myself that, but the media do. And 269 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 5: she said, OK, tell me if I'm lying. She said, 270 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 5: I had an affair. And I'm thinking, now, think about 271 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 5: this in a social context. If I start asking questions 272 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 5: and it looks like to me, she's lying, and I 273 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:30,679 Speaker 5: call her out, imagine because her husband's there. Imagine the 274 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 5: conflict that's going to create. Whereas if I say, oh, no, 275 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 5: I don't see any deception there, then she's going to say, well, 276 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 5: he's not very good. So years ago, if I saw 277 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 5: somebody lying in a social contest, I might actually take 278 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 5: him on. Now I don't why, because we all lie. 279 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:51,079 Speaker 5: Think about it. Your partner comes home and he's got 280 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,000 Speaker 5: a new shirt or something like that, and he says, 281 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:54,600 Speaker 5: what do you think? 282 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:55,679 Speaker 2: Love it? 283 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 5: But see what you just did? Then you did contrary 284 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 5: non verbals. Two three things you did. Then your foot moved, 285 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 5: your hand went like that, and you shook your head 286 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 5: from side to side. Now subconsciously you were engaging those 287 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,959 Speaker 5: behaviors even though you didn't know you were doing it. 288 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 4: So see, I would just say I wouldn't like it. 289 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:18,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, but see, but look at the other side of that. 290 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 5: My ex partner. When I finished the story, you understand 291 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 5: why she was my ex. Men and women shop very differently, Okay, 292 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 5: So a lot of men will go and make that 293 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 5: kill when we were out of there. So Kath she 294 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 5: would go into a shop, she'd go try all these 295 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 5: dresses and stuff on, and then go to another shop 296 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 5: and do it again, and another shop and do it again. 297 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 5: And for me, it was like torture. One day she 298 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 5: comes home, she walks down the stairs, she puts on 299 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 5: the dress, walks down, says and says, what do you think? 300 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 5: And it was terrible. And this is before my training 301 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 5: with the FBI, mind you, And I really told her 302 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 5: what I think what I thought. I said, it looks awful, 303 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 5: looks like a mobile ABC test bed. And then I 304 00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 5: saw a distinct change in her behavior. I think about it. 305 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 5: I get into more trouble by being upfront, truthful, direct 306 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 5: and honest with people than if I lie. So we 307 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 5: are socially conditioned. I remember being on a train many 308 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 5: years ago, and I mean, what do parents teach their 309 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 5: children the importance of being upfront, truthful, direct and honest 310 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 5: until they are Then they criticize, castigated in on line 311 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 5: the great example, I'm not train. It's about thirty people. 312 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 5: This young girl turns around and says to her mum, look, mummy, 313 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:32,000 Speaker 5: that man has big titious and the mother turns out 314 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 5: she can't say that. You can't say that. Now there's 315 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 5: the message. Oh it's okay, you be upfront, direct and 316 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 5: truthful to me, but don't hurt other people's feelings. And 317 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 5: this is where the social process and men and women 318 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 5: lie for very different reasons. Men will Women will often 319 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 5: lie to make someone else feel better about themselves, whereas 320 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 5: men will often lie to make themselves look better. So 321 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 5: we have to understand the context behind that as well. 322 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 4: So interesting, so true? 323 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 5: Do you know who make better lives? Men or women? 324 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 4: What do you think women? 325 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 5: Why? 326 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 3: I think it's because you're as a man, you're meant 327 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 3: to be a protector, but a women you're men like men, Yeah, 328 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 3: they do it for themselves. 329 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 4: Is that right? 330 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 5: Partially, there's a lot of research done by Louis Bresildin 331 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 5: in the US, and what they found is that women 332 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 5: have more evaluation centers in their brain than men, so 333 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 5: they are much more observant at body language and nonverbal 334 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 5: cues public maternal instinct, I guess. But they're also more 335 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 5: fluent with language at a younger age, so there's much 336 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 5: less response latency and hesitancy when a female is lying. 337 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 5: So there's less arms and ahs, less pauses and those 338 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 5: type of things, but there's more content structure, information and detail, 339 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,360 Speaker 5: whereas men's lies are very simple. You know, I got 340 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 5: caught in traffic or something like that. 341 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 3: Someone says that when you are trying to cover up 342 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 3: the truth and you're lying, to not always go into detail. 343 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:05,120 Speaker 4: That was just when the like horribly, Like. 344 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 3: Say, if my friend came home and she had cheated 345 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,800 Speaker 3: on her partner and she was like, I don't know 346 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,680 Speaker 3: what to do. He's questioning me. He thinks I cheated. 347 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 3: I did cheat, but I don't want him to know. 348 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 3: I always go don't go over detail, don't overcompensate. But 349 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:22,680 Speaker 3: you're saying to do that almost women to give more detail. 350 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 5: So what I've seen in my role is that often 351 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 5: people who are deceptive will provide a lot of unnecessary detail, 352 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,960 Speaker 5: not directly related to the issue. So there'll be evasive 353 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 5: I'll try to divert you, or they'll actually blame the 354 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 5: other partner or the other party, which is a typical 355 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 5: deflecting technique the deceptive people do. And you watch, I mean, 356 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,200 Speaker 5: there's so many non verbal cues. I mean, I'm looking 357 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,639 Speaker 5: at you playing with your ring. That's probably a normal 358 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,120 Speaker 5: natural thing for you to do. Sometimes people may like confidence, 359 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,240 Speaker 5: or they may be nervous. But what happens is if 360 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 5: the questions become a threatening stimulus, we then see changes 361 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 5: in behavior. So the questions create the threatening stimulus, which 362 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 5: induces a change in behavior. Research shows that often if 363 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,359 Speaker 5: we know that what we're saying is factually incorrect, we 364 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 5: feel uncomfortable about it, and subconsciously our hand will go 365 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 5: up to our mouth to cover or to stop those 366 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 5: false words coming out of our mouth. But the last 367 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 5: moment there'll be deflections such as ear tagging, eye rubbing, 368 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 5: nose blocking, or nose touching. In fact, we have glands 369 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,720 Speaker 5: at the tip of our nose, which make our nose 370 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,600 Speaker 5: itchy when we lie, believe or not so secretes a 371 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,960 Speaker 5: particular chemical. So the Pinocco theory is not that far 372 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:38,159 Speaker 5: removed from reality. But holistically we need to look for 373 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 5: groups or clusters of behavior. It's not just one offs. 374 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,760 Speaker 3: Are there any certain facial expressions or justice when you 375 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,440 Speaker 3: can tell that someone's being instantly and truthvial as you said, 376 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 3: with the deflection of the face. What is someone say? 377 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,119 Speaker 3: I was on a date with a man and I 378 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 3: was asking him a bunch of questions. What are some 379 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 3: body mannerisms or anything that they can do? 380 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,919 Speaker 4: You're like, oh, bit of a red flag. 381 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,120 Speaker 5: So I'd like to start with the face and work 382 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,639 Speaker 5: our way down because our face is the most exposed 383 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 5: part of our body. Now, a guy by the name 384 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 5: of Professor Paul Leckman did his PhD in microexpressions and 385 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:23,119 Speaker 5: distress signals. What's thatpp When we experience a feeling, a thought, 386 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 5: or an emotion, it will exhibit itself on our face 387 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:30,080 Speaker 5: botox dependent within one twenty fifth to one one hundredth 388 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 5: of a second. Okay, So as humans, we all exhibit 389 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 5: the same facial expressions of shock horror, happiness, contempt, sorrow, 390 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 5: and discussed. Now what happens is if we feel a 391 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 5: particular emotion, he crowded what we call the facial action 392 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:49,880 Speaker 5: coding system. So how we start is quite interesting. When 393 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 5: he did his PhD, he went to Papua New Guinea 394 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:56,199 Speaker 5: and found a remote tribe. And what he found was, 395 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 5: even though they'd never had any contact with Western civilization, 396 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 5: they all exhibited the same facial micro expressions of happiness, sadness, contempt, discussed, 397 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 5: and so on as someone in New York City. So 398 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:12,120 Speaker 5: what that meant was we were born with particular muscular 399 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 5: facial features that he combined. So what he'd look at is, 400 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 5: I'll give an example. You tell me if you think 401 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,440 Speaker 5: this is a real smile. 402 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 2: No, because it's not in your eyes. 403 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:29,399 Speaker 5: Okay. So a real smile will involve the ubicularis oculi 404 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 5: muscles and the zygometric majors. What does that mean, Well, 405 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 5: the corners of my lips will be pulled up and 406 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,199 Speaker 5: they may be crinkling around the eyes. That may be 407 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,960 Speaker 5: a genuine smile, okay, Whereas a false smile usually curs 408 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,880 Speaker 5: from the nose down, and we see that a lot. 409 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 5: You know, when people are posing to somebody they don't 410 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:48,439 Speaker 5: like that, that type of thing. So micro expressions are 411 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 5: really good. So it could be discussed. Let me give 412 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,719 Speaker 5: you a couple and you tell me if you can 413 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 5: work them out. So what I gets you to describe 414 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,760 Speaker 5: my face? Then you tell me which emotion you think 415 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 5: is connected to it. 416 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 2: Okay, So he's got a bit of a crinkled eyebrow there, 417 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,639 Speaker 2: it's kind of like he's leaning. 418 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like he's kind of like cheesing a little bit, 419 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 3: like he looks a bit dissed. 420 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,800 Speaker 5: He's discussed discussed. So you watch somebody if they smell 421 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,719 Speaker 5: something future like, the head will go back. They'll be 422 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 5: furrowing and bridging above the nose and there'll be a 423 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,880 Speaker 5: head recall. So that's discussed. What about this one? 424 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 4: So you went to an angle a little bit into 425 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 4: your shoulder. 426 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: Frow? 427 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,239 Speaker 5: Yeah, so what emotion do you think that's indicative of? 428 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:36,640 Speaker 4: It's like inquisity. 429 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:41,359 Speaker 3: If you don't, you're not like you're going You're like 430 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,639 Speaker 3: you're questioning someone you're not really sure that they're like. 431 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:49,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, disbelief or contempt and Paul Ekman And it's really 432 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 5: interesting because there's an intellectual movement of the mouth to 433 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 5: one side. And when somebody is doubtful, they'll do something 434 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,920 Speaker 5: like that. So if you're let's say you're a salesperson, 435 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 5: you're selling somebody something and the like that. I'm over exaggerating, 436 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 5: but that would tell me that they're not believing what 437 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 5: you're saying. But also what I do is I have 438 00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 5: high and low confidence gestures. What does that mean? Well, 439 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,640 Speaker 5: if somebody is doubtful about what they're saying, so they're 440 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,880 Speaker 5: telling you a story. And I see this all the time, 441 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 5: and people don't even realize they're doing it. They'll actually 442 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,399 Speaker 5: do something so minute like that. I just did it 443 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,399 Speaker 5: a micro expression shoulder shrug. Now you ask a child, 444 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:33,000 Speaker 5: or you ask a child a question they don't know 445 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,440 Speaker 5: the answer, they'll lift their eyebrows, raise their shoulders, and 446 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,760 Speaker 5: put their palms up. Now, if say, for example, you're 447 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,439 Speaker 5: telling me a story you know it's actually incorrect and false, 448 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 5: you will engage in subconscious micro expressions and nonverbal cues 449 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,440 Speaker 5: that will actually be at odds with what you're saying. 450 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 5: So I give you a great example. 451 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 3: You go to. 452 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,560 Speaker 5: Someplace and you're eating the food and it's the worse 453 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,040 Speaker 5: food you've ever tasted and they say, what do you think. 454 00:22:59,080 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 5: You go, yeah, that's good. 455 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 4: Oh you just shrugged. 456 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:05,119 Speaker 5: Yeah, that indicates uncertainty in doubt. But if I say, oh, no, 457 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,600 Speaker 5: it's really good, but at the same time shrug my shoulder, 458 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 5: then that's a double wmy okay. Or if I do 459 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 5: that and also my hand goes to my mouth and 460 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 5: touches my nose or rubs my ear, that's a deflection 461 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,200 Speaker 5: at the last moment, because in a social context, I 462 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 5: can't say, on God, why has he got his hand 463 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 5: in front of his mouth, So at the last moment 464 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 5: would be a deflection, And it's behavioral scientists believe it's 465 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:30,200 Speaker 5: a way of diffusing the anxiety associated with being caught 466 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:30,640 Speaker 5: in the life. 467 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 2: Do you think the can you toll between someone who's 468 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 2: just generally a fidgety person or someone that's doing those 469 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 2: little micro movements when they're lying. 470 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 5: So watching somebody who's quite fidget is quite easy. That's 471 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 5: you to it te So in fact, when you first 472 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,120 Speaker 5: walked in, I was watching you all over the place, 473 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:52,680 Speaker 5: whereas you were quite calm and measured and comfortable. Right, 474 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 5: But that in itself doesn't mean anything. All we what 475 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 5: we need to do is baseline. Then look for deviations 476 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,439 Speaker 5: or so, let's say I ask you a question, you know, 477 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 5: did you take that phone? And you did take the phone, 478 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,359 Speaker 5: and you don't want me to know, you'd say something, 479 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 5: go why would I do something like that? Now you 480 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 5: might become defensive. And by the way, I see this 481 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,080 Speaker 5: all the time. We don't want to look at just 482 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 5: single one offs like a loss of eye contact. We 483 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,479 Speaker 5: need to look for groups or clusters of behavior. Let 484 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,320 Speaker 5: me give you a great example. Throw a question, any 485 00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,120 Speaker 5: question you like at me. It doesn't matter any question. 486 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 4: What did you have for breakfast this morning? 487 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:31,800 Speaker 5: What I have for breakfast? That's interesting? Why is that important? Now? 488 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 5: Let's look what I just did then? Number one, I 489 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,800 Speaker 5: moved in the chair backwards. Number two, I crossed my legs. 490 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,480 Speaker 5: Number three I turned sideways. No, front of alignment. Number four, 491 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,680 Speaker 5: I cross my arms. Number five. Did I answer the question? 492 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:42,200 Speaker 4: No? 493 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 5: So we need to look for groups and clusters of behaviors, 494 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 5: but we also need to look for inconsistencies in language. 495 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 5: Let me give you a quick example. If I asked 496 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:56,359 Speaker 5: you what you did this morning, neurologically, through sensory input, 497 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,240 Speaker 5: you'd be able to tell me what you did what 498 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:02,439 Speaker 5: you heard, what you saw, what you felt. Conversations took place, 499 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 5: why because you live through them. Whereas if you're fabricating 500 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,760 Speaker 5: or creating a false memory that never existed for everyone knowing, 501 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 5: you tell you have to now invent two or three 502 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 5: to protect yourself from the first one. Now you're getting 503 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 5: caught in a vortex because the more over time, truthful 504 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,200 Speaker 5: people will always recall their events from front to back, 505 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,200 Speaker 5: back to front. But what they'll do the deceptive people 506 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 5: never do is they'll tell you how they feel, or 507 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 5: they'll tell you what emotions they experienced. So what do 508 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 5: I mean? They'll say something like I couldn't believe it, 509 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,720 Speaker 5: you know, I just I had this gut filling something 510 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,120 Speaker 5: was wrong. So they're actually including themselves in the narrative. 511 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 5: Whereas a lot of statements that I see if a deceptive, 512 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:51,439 Speaker 5: if any person removes themselves from the narrative, I have 513 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 5: red flags. So if I'm asking you what you did 514 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,639 Speaker 5: say yesterday morning and you say went to the shop, 515 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 5: but you don't use a pronoun such as I went 516 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:03,320 Speaker 5: to the show, I want to know why are you 517 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,400 Speaker 5: not including yourself in the story of the narrative. 518 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,119 Speaker 2: You weren't actually there. Is it because they weren't actually 519 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:09,359 Speaker 2: doing it? 520 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,879 Speaker 5: Well, it might be because they normally talk like that, 521 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:15,680 Speaker 5: because in some cultures through Aysia, they talk in present tense. 522 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 5: In our society, Western society, if you're relying a historic event, 523 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,360 Speaker 5: you'll be talking in singular person, past tense. I woke up, 524 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,359 Speaker 5: I had a shower, I walked at the dog. Anytime 525 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,639 Speaker 5: someone jumps between singular person past tense and present tense, 526 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 5: there's missing information. And right at that moment where they 527 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,919 Speaker 5: start jumping between tenses, that's when I'll go in and 528 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 5: I'll question further because there's inconsistencies in this story. 529 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 3: All right, So when you said that, like you big 530 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:48,200 Speaker 3: mannerisms and body languages are like changing and stuff like that. 531 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 3: So I am known on the internet. 532 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,640 Speaker 4: To have a pretty big, resting bitch face. 533 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 3: There's not a lot of emotion that goes on there, 534 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 3: or I constantly look quite discouraged. Yes talk and like 535 00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 3: when I'm taking and I'm like, I say, oh, it's 536 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:05,359 Speaker 3: because I'm actively listening. I catch myself frowning and like 537 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,040 Speaker 3: looking quite to be honest, disgusted and angry in what 538 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 3: they're saying. But it's just because I'm like trying to 539 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 3: process what's going on in what they're saying. 540 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:19,119 Speaker 4: You would you say that? That's like a deception, like 541 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 4: what would you. 542 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 5: No, that's more an evaluation gesture because what happens is 543 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,840 Speaker 5: if you're listening to somebody, technically you're not lying. Remember 544 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:31,439 Speaker 5: what I said before, A lies where you willfully mislead somebody, 545 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:36,600 Speaker 5: you know, A great example is if you're not talking, 546 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:40,360 Speaker 5: technically you're not lying. So if you're listening, you may 547 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,640 Speaker 5: disagree with what they're saying, and your facial expressions may 548 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:48,280 Speaker 5: display that, but that's very different from deliberately intentionally lying 549 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,880 Speaker 5: and knowing that what you're saying is wrong or incorrect. Right, 550 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:56,640 Speaker 5: So you may to use your saying look like a 551 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,840 Speaker 5: resting bitch face or something. But the point there is 552 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,680 Speaker 5: is if you're normally like that, I want to look 553 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 5: for deviations or changes from that, right. 554 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,520 Speaker 4: So that's what that's my baseline. 555 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 5: Correct, You've got nothing to measure again, so let me 556 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,760 Speaker 5: give you a example. I've already baselined you anyway, So 557 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,440 Speaker 5: here's what I'm going to get you to do. Do 558 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 5: you think you're a good lie? 559 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:21,200 Speaker 4: I would say pretty good? 560 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,399 Speaker 5: Okay, Okay, out of one hundred, what would you give yourself? 561 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,920 Speaker 4: Maybe okay, seventy. I'm going to go with seventy. 562 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:31,720 Speaker 5: You're going to go with seventy. 563 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, it depends what it's about. 564 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,920 Speaker 5: Okay. So what I'm going to do. I do a 565 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 5: lot of public speaking, and I get people on stage. 566 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,880 Speaker 5: I'm going to do what I usually do with you today. 567 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 2: You do me next. 568 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,200 Speaker 5: So let me ask you now. I want you to 569 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,480 Speaker 5: be one hundred percent truthful now, and there'll be a reason. 570 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,000 Speaker 4: Right, Okay, So I have to tell the truth one. 571 00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 5: Hundred percent because and you'll see why in a minute, 572 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 5: because I'm going to draw your attention what you do 573 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 5: and you won't even realize you're doing it. Okay, all right, 574 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 5: So be truthful to start with. Okay, I want you 575 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:02,800 Speaker 5: to tell me what you did this morning from the 576 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,640 Speaker 5: time you woke up, excluding personal issues, until the time 577 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 5: you got to the studio. Now, hang on, before we 578 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 5: go on, as much information, content, structure and detail as possible. Okay. Yep. 579 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 3: So I slept through my alarm, so I missed my 580 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:16,920 Speaker 3: pilates and I was. 581 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 4: A bit upset by that. 582 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 5: What time did you set your alarm clock? 583 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 4: For seven fifteen, and then I woke up at eight, 584 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:23,280 Speaker 4: so I went. 585 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 5: Did you sleep through your alarm? 586 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,160 Speaker 4: I consciously turned it off? 587 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:27,560 Speaker 5: Okay? 588 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 4: Yeah? 589 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,840 Speaker 3: And then I got a coffee and went to the 590 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 3: gym and walked on the treadmill, went home. 591 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 5: Jim, did you go do? Okay? 592 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:42,640 Speaker 3: And then I picked up some groceries, went home, got 593 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 3: ready at breakfast, and then made a TikTok and now 594 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 3: I'm here, gove here. 595 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 5: What I want you to do this time is I 596 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:55,880 Speaker 5: want you to be really creative, okay, and I want 597 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 5: you to look super duper creative. And I want you 598 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:01,440 Speaker 5: to make up a complete, full story about what you 599 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 5: did this morning, like I mean everything in it. Yeah, 600 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 5: Because usually what you find when I get people to 601 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,160 Speaker 5: do this, what they'll do is they'll take truthful pieces 602 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:14,000 Speaker 5: and entwine it with pieces that are not true. So 603 00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,520 Speaker 5: what I want you to do, be quite creative here 604 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 5: and tell me story. But I want you to make 605 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 5: it sound believable. So I don't want you say you 606 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 5: went to New York and back. No one's going to 607 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,280 Speaker 5: believe that, right, But as much content, structure, information in detail. 608 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,720 Speaker 4: So this morning I actually didn't wake up. 609 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 5: Okay, I'm going to stop you as we go. 610 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 4: Fucked it right then? 611 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 5: Okay, but but here this is the only way we learn, right, 612 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 5: So you teaching us to lie. The first thing. It's 613 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 5: really interesting because I'm not too sure if the viewers 614 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 5: will pick this up, but the very first thing you 615 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:50,680 Speaker 5: did as soon as you started was your right shoulder 616 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:52,680 Speaker 5: did that trug? Remember I was talking about the shoulder shrug. 617 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 5: Watch your back and you'll say it. Trust me. Okay, 618 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,400 Speaker 5: keep going, but I'm just going to just keep making it. Okay, 619 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,720 Speaker 5: there you did it again. You weren't doing that before. 620 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,719 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, because I know that you guys are all 621 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,600 Speaker 3: going to know. So it's the anticipation that you guys 622 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,520 Speaker 3: are wondering what I'm going to say this morning. 623 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 5: I actually okay, now they're just on that. But I 624 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 5: think this is important because this is a good way 625 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 5: of picking things up. Now the whole since we started, 626 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:21,760 Speaker 5: not once did you use the word actually. I'll see 627 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:25,400 Speaker 5: this a lot. Right. Often, as humans, we don't like 628 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:29,040 Speaker 5: pregnant pauses and we don't like gaps in our conversation. 629 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:33,440 Speaker 5: So what happened was it's like arms and ours. So 630 00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 5: when people substitute words for unnecessary or superfous superfluous fillers. 631 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,240 Speaker 5: Then that's a red flag for me, because why would 632 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 5: you say I actually, you just say I did, okay, okay, 633 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,080 Speaker 5: unless you were saying actually before, then that's part of you. 634 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 3: I was about to say, actually, well, I didn't wake 635 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 3: up at my house. I woke up at my boyfriend's 636 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 3: house and then he went straight off to work. 637 00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,200 Speaker 5: You've got to watch your shoulder. Your shoulder is really 638 00:31:56,240 --> 00:32:02,160 Speaker 5: interesting and your right foot. Okay, so here, here's what's happening. 639 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:06,160 Speaker 5: You're so focused on delivering the story you're paying absolutely 640 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:07,760 Speaker 5: no attention what your body's doing. Yeah. 641 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 4: Probably, no, definitely Okay. 642 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:15,320 Speaker 5: So, no matter how easy people think it is to lie. 643 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 5: And I've interviewed clinically diagnosed psychopaths for homicidecosis, and there 644 00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 5: are still some telltale science and the difference is you 645 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,960 Speaker 5: or I. The word psychopathy is one of the most 646 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 5: misunderstood words in the English language. People think all psychopaths 647 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,680 Speaker 5: go out and kill people. That's not the case. I 648 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,640 Speaker 5: guarantee you you either have friends or you've worked with 649 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,200 Speaker 5: people who have psychopathic behaviors. 650 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:41,200 Speaker 2: Which I agree. 651 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 5: What's the definition of a psychopath Somebody who's recklessly oblivious 652 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,760 Speaker 5: to the physical emotional harm they cause their victims. So 653 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,320 Speaker 5: let's just say all three of us are going for 654 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 5: a job interview, and I am clinically diagnosed as a psychopath. 655 00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:58,600 Speaker 5: I'm going to do whatever it takes to get the job. 656 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,600 Speaker 5: I'm going to destroy you in the pro but I'm 657 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 5: going to get it. I don't care about you. I 658 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,640 Speaker 5: have no empathy, I have no emotions, I have no remorse, 659 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,200 Speaker 5: I don't care about you. I will get that job. 660 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,720 Speaker 5: It doesn't necessarily mean I go out and kill people. 661 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:15,320 Speaker 5: So even with clinically diagnosed psychopaths, and there was a 662 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,360 Speaker 5: study done in the US where they had, admittedly it 663 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 5: was a very small control sample, they had twelve clinically 664 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,720 Speaker 5: diagnosed psychopaths in the jail population, and they said, this 665 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 5: is what we want you to do. We want to 666 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 5: see if you can beat a polygraph test. Now, a 667 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 5: polygraph works on if a person consciously decides they're going 668 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,960 Speaker 5: to lie to a question, they become fearful of being 669 00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,040 Speaker 5: caught in that line, and that's what innovates and activates 670 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,160 Speaker 5: changes in our autonomic nervous system. So we see changes 671 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,760 Speaker 5: in heart rate, blood pressure, blood volume, emotional sweating, and 672 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:45,480 Speaker 5: so on respiratory patterns, So the question becomes a threatening stimulus. 673 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:48,360 Speaker 5: Our fight to flight response system kicks in and we 674 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 5: see changes, which is great technology, but it's old technology, 675 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 5: I guess, Whereas now we've got artificial intelligence and so on. 676 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 5: So the question in that case because the threatening stimulus. 677 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,000 Speaker 5: But I guess the argument is what if somebody's nervous? 678 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,560 Speaker 5: So I often say, you don't need a polygraph to 679 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,520 Speaker 5: work out whether or not somebody's lying. You need to 680 00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:12,560 Speaker 5: have good observational skills because and also you need to 681 00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 5: be a good question asker. I can teach anyone in 682 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,160 Speaker 5: half a day how to be a good question asker. 683 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,600 Speaker 5: But what I teach people is not how to ask questions, 684 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,200 Speaker 5: but how to be andlests of human behavior. That's the difference. 685 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:27,440 Speaker 2: Quick question, I'm not sure if this is entirely relevant. 686 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:31,439 Speaker 2: What's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath? 687 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:37,680 Speaker 5: Yeah, so psychopath really has very little feelings or remorse 688 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,560 Speaker 5: or emotion. They simply don't care what they do through 689 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:47,200 Speaker 5: the victims, wherea's sociopaths a little bit different because sometimes 690 00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:51,799 Speaker 5: you're also see narcissistic behaviors in that behavior. So do 691 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,640 Speaker 5: you have any friends or you know anyone, and they're 692 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:59,359 Speaker 5: always lying about the simplest, smallest things. Yes, and you 693 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:03,239 Speaker 5: know they're lie. Everyone else knows they're lying, but it's 694 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:07,040 Speaker 5: what they do. But often it will be for a 695 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,399 Speaker 5: different reason. It will be to be liked, it will 696 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:16,040 Speaker 5: be to gain attention. That's more sociopathic than psychopathic, And 697 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,439 Speaker 5: the psychopathic checklist, which was designed to look for certain 698 00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:23,560 Speaker 5: behavioral traits, really focus on the fact that there's no empathy, remorse, feeling, 699 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:24,160 Speaker 5: or emotions. 700 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:26,880 Speaker 2: That's traits of psychopaths, not sociopaths. 701 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:32,080 Speaker 5: So we've all had contact with people who have lied 702 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:35,360 Speaker 5: to us straight to our face. In relationships is a 703 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:38,560 Speaker 5: great example, someone having a fling or an affair or 704 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 5: whatever one of the things you I don't know if 705 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:42,080 Speaker 5: you want to know the answer to this. 706 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:46,080 Speaker 4: But to catch someone on cheating, well yeah, okay. 707 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:51,760 Speaker 5: Well, firstly, usually you'll find there'll be behaviors that people 708 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,880 Speaker 5: don't pick up, so running out and texting in the 709 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,400 Speaker 5: backyard when you're sitting with your partner, you know, not 710 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:02,839 Speaker 5: answering phone calls, or when the question is asked are 711 00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:06,520 Speaker 5: you cheating? Am I cheating? Why would I be cheating? 712 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,960 Speaker 5: What's missing there. That's an objection, not a denial. Truthful 713 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,480 Speaker 5: people are very clear, concise and upfront when they deny. No, 714 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,400 Speaker 5: I don't no, I haven't no. He has been a 715 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:21,680 Speaker 5: direct answer I didn't mean meaning using a personal pronoun, 716 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:27,759 Speaker 5: exonerating themselves from that behavior. But also there's always some 717 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 5: sort of evidence. So I remember a couple coming to 718 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:36,359 Speaker 5: my office and the boyfriend received naked photos of this 719 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:41,759 Speaker 5: girl on his phone, and his partner found those and 720 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,399 Speaker 5: she said, well, how did they get there? So we're 721 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,920 Speaker 5: not having an affair? But I asked, well, it's technically 722 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,319 Speaker 5: still cheating, isn't it emotional? It depends which way you 723 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 5: want to view it. So all the signs were there, 724 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:57,400 Speaker 5: you know, all these flirtatious, secting text messages and all 725 00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 5: that sort of stuff together with the photos, and yeah, 726 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,080 Speaker 5: she didn't want to believe that a partner was cheating. 727 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,440 Speaker 5: He was very adept at looking astraight in the eye 728 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,920 Speaker 5: and lying. So you know, it's asking the right questions 729 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,400 Speaker 5: and believe it or not. I wrote a chapter in 730 00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:18,280 Speaker 5: one of my books about your gut feel ninety percent 731 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,000 Speaker 5: of your time, the time when you get a gut 732 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 5: fill you're pretty close. I just teach people to put 733 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:26,480 Speaker 5: a methodology behind that gut fill, which is what to 734 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:30,759 Speaker 5: look for verbal, nonverbal, parallinguistic. We haven't spoken about paralinguistics, 735 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 5: so okay, I can lie with words at our body language. 736 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,840 Speaker 5: We need to look for a conflict or contradiction between 737 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:42,400 Speaker 5: what we're saying and what we're doing. Secondly, paralinguistic style 738 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:46,279 Speaker 5: means how the message is communicated. There could be ums 739 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:51,880 Speaker 5: nah's responslate and see tone, pitch, voice modulation. If you 740 00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,239 Speaker 5: listen really carefully, when somebody feels uncomfortable, their pitch and 741 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,279 Speaker 5: their tone will change. You do that twice. So what 742 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,120 Speaker 5: will happen is their tone will change. And sometimes it 743 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:05,600 Speaker 5: might be something is why would I do that shoulder shrug? 744 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:10,319 Speaker 5: But also tone a change together with they look at 745 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,799 Speaker 5: changes in body language and stuff. And usually if I'm 746 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,839 Speaker 5: sitting close enough, I can't see from here, but our 747 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:20,760 Speaker 5: pupils will rapidly dilate when we're being deceptive. And in fact, 748 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:24,440 Speaker 5: we also know through research that our blink rate increases 749 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,279 Speaker 5: six to eightfold after the delivery of the deception. Now 750 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,560 Speaker 5: think about that for a second. So somebody's lying to 751 00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,400 Speaker 5: they'll look you in the eye and then all of 752 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,360 Speaker 5: a sudden, they'll tell their story and then they'll do 753 00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:40,080 Speaker 5: this and like blink like yeah, indicative of relief, so 754 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:41,960 Speaker 5: believe it or not. And I see this all the time. 755 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,920 Speaker 5: People ask me this question all the time. Do liars 756 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:48,640 Speaker 5: look away or often research shows this it's the opposite. 757 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,680 Speaker 5: What they'll do is they'll tell the story and they'll 758 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,799 Speaker 5: stare you down. Why because I want to see whether 759 00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 5: or not they think that you are believing what they're saying. Right, So, 760 00:38:58,040 --> 00:38:59,920 Speaker 5: if you do this, they're going to pick it up. 761 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,040 Speaker 5: Because you know, an interview is a two way process. 762 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,040 Speaker 5: If I'm interviewing you for whatever, you want to know 763 00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:08,600 Speaker 5: what information I have about you, and I want to 764 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,359 Speaker 5: know information that you have that you may not disclass 765 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,120 Speaker 5: So the only way that's going to happen is by 766 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:18,040 Speaker 5: asking good, direct, probing questions. Yeah, you know, where's go 767 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,040 Speaker 5: last night? I went out? Where'd you go? What time 768 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,160 Speaker 5: do you leave? All that sort of stuff, Because then 769 00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:26,960 Speaker 5: if they're being evasive, side stepping the issue, not answering 770 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,759 Speaker 5: the question, that's a red flag right there. Secondly, they 771 00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:33,640 Speaker 5: start accusing you of behavior that you weren't even involved in. 772 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,920 Speaker 5: They're deflicting. That's red flag number two, number three. Their 773 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:40,480 Speaker 5: body language is inconsistent with the spoken word. It just 774 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,960 Speaker 5: goes on and on micro expressions to stress signals, the 775 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:48,760 Speaker 5: blocking behaviors, excluding themselves out of the narrative. I remember 776 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:54,360 Speaker 5: one particular case as a homicide and I ran a 777 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,640 Speaker 5: training course in the journalist was going to do an 778 00:39:56,719 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 5: interview what they call a doorstop interview with the suspect, 779 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:01,600 Speaker 5: and she wrings me up and she says, Steve, what 780 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:04,440 Speaker 5: should I ask you? I said, ask him directly if 781 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,319 Speaker 5: he murdered his wife and daughter, and she did and 782 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,399 Speaker 5: he said, I never harmed my wife or my daughter. 783 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,719 Speaker 5: What he didn't do was answer the question. The question 784 00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:15,520 Speaker 5: was very clear, concise, and specific. He answered the question 785 00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:20,200 Speaker 5: he wanted to answer, not what the interview asked. A 786 00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:25,040 Speaker 5: great example is a case that I worked on and 787 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,480 Speaker 5: what had happened was the mother of the child I 788 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 5: went missing and the de facto boyfriend fronted up to 789 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:35,319 Speaker 5: a media conference. And that is a goldmine for me 790 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:39,120 Speaker 5: because I'm looking for emotions in the right place. And 791 00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,400 Speaker 5: I got a phone call from one of the detectives 792 00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,560 Speaker 5: and said, what do you think. I said, she's one 793 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,279 Speaker 5: hundred The boyfriend is one hundred percent lying and what 794 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,000 Speaker 5: he did. And this is before they found the girl. 795 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,920 Speaker 5: He said, you know, she was such a wonderful child. 796 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:54,759 Speaker 5: Was his past tense. If you ever speak to a 797 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,759 Speaker 5: parent who has had their child abducted, they will never 798 00:40:56,840 --> 00:41:01,640 Speaker 5: ever talk in past tense. Why because the host their 799 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 5: child will be returned to live safe and well. I 800 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,840 Speaker 5: mean even now, if I speak to families who have 801 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,760 Speaker 5: loved ones gone missing or missing persons, they will always 802 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,279 Speaker 5: talk in present tents because the hope of the anticipation, 803 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,160 Speaker 5: expectation is they'll be returned to live safe and one. 804 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,960 Speaker 2: Out of curiosity. If you're like at home on your 805 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,480 Speaker 2: couch watching the news and you notice that an interview 806 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,719 Speaker 2: about some sort of crime comes up, will you kind 807 00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,439 Speaker 2: of watch it, monitor it, and if you think they're lying, 808 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,720 Speaker 2: will you call someone up and be like, hey, guys, 809 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:30,720 Speaker 2: I think they're lying. 810 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,440 Speaker 5: That It depends on what it is. I mean, if 811 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,840 Speaker 5: it's something like a current affair with every second person, 812 00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,160 Speaker 5: I think, if it's a crime like what happens is, 813 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,239 Speaker 5: the homicide squad or police department will contact me and 814 00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:45,000 Speaker 5: they'll say, listen, we've got a record of interview. Can 815 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,680 Speaker 5: we get you either to do an interview or behaveor 816 00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 5: analysis interview, which is my specialty. Or can we get 817 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:56,040 Speaker 5: you to analyze the statements made in say rape statement 818 00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:58,600 Speaker 5: to see whether or it's a real report of a 819 00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:03,480 Speaker 5: real rape or fabricated right. Usually I'll look for certain pronouns. 820 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:08,480 Speaker 5: Usually in rapes, the victim will create distance, disassociation and 821 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,799 Speaker 5: separation in language. He made me do this, he made 822 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,520 Speaker 5: me do that. Sometimes you may see we did this, 823 00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,319 Speaker 5: we did that. We denotes a degree of agreement, which 824 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,439 Speaker 5: is usually inconsistent. But also I get them to write 825 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:23,560 Speaker 5: a narrative of what happened over the timeframe and usually 826 00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:27,239 Speaker 5: depends on the person that will either include information or 827 00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,840 Speaker 5: exclude information. Usually I find children make the best witnesses. 828 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,839 Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much Steve for joining us on 829 00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,000 Speaker 3: the Tuesday episode. Steve will also be joining us on 830 00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:40,160 Speaker 3: Our Girl's Guide to tell us how to detect when 831 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,560 Speaker 3: our partner is lying. Possibly some little things here, so 832 00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:46,279 Speaker 3: make sure you guys tune into those day's episode to 833 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:46,879 Speaker 3: hear about that. 834 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,880 Speaker 4: Will chat to you them b