WEBVTT - Love, burnout and getting political… it really IS a lot with Abbie Chatfield 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:12.600 Hello, and welcome to Something to Talk About the Stella Podcast. 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:16.120 I'm Sarah Lamarquin to your host and Stella's editor in chief. 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:18.640 Every week I sit down with some of the biggest 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:22.799 names in the country, and today's guest is definitely just that, 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:26.599 having gone from reality TV show contestant to one of 0:00:26.640 --> 0:00:31.080 the most well known women in Australia. It's been just 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:33.400 over a year since I last sat down with Abby 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:36.000 Chatfield and when you look at what's happened in her 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:39.720 life and career since then, well, to use three words 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:43.760 all but trademarked by Abby herself, it's a lot. The 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:46.280 past twelve months have seen her walk away from radio, 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:49.680 but continue to host her hit podcast, take her one 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:52.479 woman show on the road with a national tour, and 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:56.280 film her second season as host of f Boy Island Australia. 0:00:56.840 --> 0:01:00.560 She also continues to generate headlines by using her social 0:01:00.560 --> 0:01:04.800 media platform to speak out about serious political issues, and 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:08.240 she's very famously found love in the arms of Peaking 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:12.480 Duck musician Adam Hyde. Like I said, it's a lot, 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:15.800 and on today's episode is Something to talk About Abby 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:18.560 and I get into all of it and then some 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:22.479 Abby Chatfield, Welcome back to Stella and Something to talk about. 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:25.280 Hi, Sarah, thanks having me back. It's lovely to have 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:25.800 you back. 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:29.840 The last time you and I sat down was ahead 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:33.319 of the launch of f Boy Island Australia and you 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:35.640 were on the cover of Stella and on Something to 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:38.600 talk About. It was May of last year. Show was 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:42.440 just about to launch. It's coming back soon for season two, 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:44.920 which we'll talk about in a moment. But whole new 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:49.520 pressure trying to launch an unheard of show in Australia, 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:53.720 especially when the name alone has everyone clutching. Yes, said Pearls. 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:57.160 It was a gorgeous cover. It really was, as is 0:01:57.200 --> 0:02:01.280 the one today. And rather than do an Instagram post 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:04.600 saying you know, glad to be on the cover Stelle 0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:08.679 or here I am or what you know, buckle up 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:12.399 if Boy Island coming soon, you spoke about how you'd 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:16.200 really struggle that day shooting the cover. You said that 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:21.119 you had taken breaks outside between shots to go outside 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:23.240 to cry. You were very generous about saying I love 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:25.160 the photos. Team at Stella are some of the best 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:29.520 in the country. So it wasn't any of that, you know, 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:32.520 It wasn't any of that, like, oh, you know, I 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:33.640 hate being in front of the camera. 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:34.280 I don't look good. 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:36.880 It wasn't any of that. It was very profound. And 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:38.960 I know it's always a bit weird when people read 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:39.919 your words. 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:40.120 Back to you. 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:43.080 But you said a lot of you will say have 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:46.760 a break, as my GP E and T psychologists and 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:50.200 psychiatrist have all said. But it simply isn't possible. My 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:53.280 commitments don't allow me a break. My voice right now 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:55.799 is so painful when I speak that I cry from 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:58.920 the pain. Sometimes I had three days of vocal rest. 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:01.440 It didn't help. I'm on the verge of tears all 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:04.720 the time. If one thing goes wrong, the floodgates open. 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:07.200 I have so much pressure on me all the time 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:10.360 to be fun or entertaining or at the very least 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:14.160 have something of value to say. It's draining physically and mentally. 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:16.800 I'm not trying to get sympathy, I guess I'm just 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.160 trying to say this is maybe not what you think. 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:22.440 This industry, I love it, and I love all my jobs. 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:26.120 This is Sarah interjecting here to say Abby. At the time, 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:28.920 for some context, of course, you were hosting your podcast 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:32.080 about to launcheff Boy Island. You were also on radio 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:36.800 every night at the time with your National Show and twos. 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:38.520 There was a lot going on. 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:41.880 Yeah, back to Abby, I love it and I love 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:44.440 all my jobs, but that's kind of the issue. It's 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:48.960 addictive and intoxicating and fucking fun until it isn't and 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:52.240 you are commodifying parts of you and there isn't much 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:56.560 left just for yourself. About fifteen months later, how does 0:03:56.600 --> 0:03:58.880 it feel reflecting on those words, Well. 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:03.680 I quit radio, thank god. That's was the biggest issue 0:04:03.720 --> 0:04:06.440 that I was having was radio. For sure. I feel 0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:10.120 like I'm still very burnt out and very exhausted. I 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:13.080 think that period of time was when just before I 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:14.960 decided to quit radio, and then it took me a 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:18.240 few months to actually do it because I had a 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:20.960 break a bit after that because I kind of said 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:24.320 that I can't, I can't do this anymore. This is yep, 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:29.080 this is very It's not conducive to anyone having a 0:04:29.080 --> 0:04:34.240 good outcome, like good content, me being happy, anything, but 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:37.120 obviously that sentiment still stands, having to be like happy 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.640 and excited and have something interesting to say, and it's 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.400 very exhausting. When I mean you, I'm sure you feel 0:04:43.360 --> 0:04:45.960 the same. When I used to have a nine to five, 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:49.880 and obviously I love the job that I have now 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:51.880 so much. When I had nine to five, if I 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:54.039 had my period or a migrain, or if I had 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:56.559 a really bad mental health week or a few months, 0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:58.240 I could just sit in front of my computer because 0:04:58.240 --> 0:05:01.360 I did Like I was in red estate commercial real estate, 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:03.960 I was an analyst, so I could just literally be like, 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:05.240 no one talk to me, and then just get my 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:07.800 work done and go through the motions. But with this job, 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:10.520 as you know, you can't really just go through the 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:15.600 motions because you have to be like sparkly and exciting, 0:05:15.800 --> 0:05:18.280 and particularly hosting a show or doing a podcast. It's 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:21.680 from my personal perspectives, there's not a chance to switch 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:25.839 off so at that time, particularly because with radio, something 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.760 that people don't speak up publicly. I don't think, but 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:32.200 a lot of radio hosts speak about this is that 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:36.680 your life gets consumed by radio because every single day, 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:40.039 like you're hoping that you'll get the wrong scone at 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:42.680 the cafe so you can do it thirteen ten sixty, 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:44.880 when if you've got the wrong right, like every single 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:47.320 part of your life, every bit of media I ingested. 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:49.080 I'm writing notes for what I can do for radio. 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.520 Every single conversation that I have, I go like writing notes. 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.840 So that was when work was encompassing my entire life, 0:05:55.880 --> 0:06:00.000 my entire being. Since putting radio, I'm much happier, much happier, 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:05.800 like much. Avia can't believe it, but would say that 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:11.320 I'm still reeling from the effects of radio. So it's 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:15.080 getting better for sure, but I still have a bit 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:16.279 of burnout definitely. 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:19.000 It is interesting what you say about the radio because 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.080 we have had a couple of people touch upon it 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:27.840 and Rossiano Bianca, die Amanda Kella recently, all in different things. 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:31.200 There is that component where you have to mine your life, Jackie, Oh, 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:35.160 I've spoken about it before, and then it becomes, I imagine, Abby, 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:38.000 something that you also have to navigate as someone as 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:41.520 you who's so high profile. Also in the social media landscape, 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:44.159 where do you turn the off button on? When you 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:46.839 told us this? Why can't you tell us that? So 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:50.440 I imagine there's elements of it still that exist just 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:51.800 through social media. 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:55.560 One hundred percent. Another thing was also where to designate 0:06:55.640 --> 0:07:00.520 which content went where with the podcast, socials, collabse tour 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:04.120 and radio thinking you know this thing's happened in my life, 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:08.240 how do we speak about it? And which platform is 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:13.120 the best? So every part of your life becomes commodified, 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:15.760 but also becomes analyzed in a way of Okay, well 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.120 this is long form stories. It a short form story. 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:23.240 So it's really it's a strange thing to do and 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:25.280 you don't realize that you're doing it until it's been 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:29.120 six months or a year and you sat your bit 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:36.360 a bit bonkers with it. But yeah, it's really exhausting 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:40.440 and it's hard for me. Like recently, I've obviously hard 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:45.360 launched my new relationship with Adam from Peaking Doug. I 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:48.520 posted about it on TikTok a lot books. People were 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:51.320 asking about whether they're like a version was inspired by me, 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:53.680 and I was like being funny and posting about it 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:55.080 with him like next to me or me is saying, 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:57.080 am I going to post this? This is so cute this video? 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:04.160 And someone commented saying, this, this feels you see manic 0:08:04.240 --> 0:08:06.400 because this feels too much too soon. And I made 0:08:06.400 --> 0:08:09.400 a video saying, well, I've known him for two years, 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:12.720 it's not it's actually the slowest relationship you've ever had. 0:08:13.080 --> 0:08:17.640 I've been dating like basically for six months now. Since 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:20.840 getting more closer friends for two years before them. So 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:23.040 I'm not sure how you think that you know that 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:26.640 it's too soon because from your perspective, yes, two weeks, yes, 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:29.120 but I haven't met him two weeks ago. There's videos 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:31.200 of us two years ago, met interviewing him when I 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:35.800 met him. So yeah, it's like people not only want 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:38.680 more from you, but they also think they know everything, 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:42.400 if that makes sense. They they it's this contradictory feeling 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.080 of we know everything about your life, but also what 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:48.480 are you hiding? And I'm not actively hiding anything. It's 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:51.440 just I don't have a go pro on my head. 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:57.600 You're not. Actually, yeah, every moment in chronological exactly. 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:01.320 So yeah, it's it's it's but I'm being much better 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:03.520 at it. I'm much better with boundaries and my therapists. 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:05.240 And I think I may have said this to you 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:07.640 last time. I can't remember, but I think it was 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:13.600 to you, but maybe even off Mike. But I have 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:16.280 to process things before I speak about them publicly. I 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:18.800 have to go through my therapist too, Yes, have it. 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:21.280 I'm real understanding of how I feel about things that 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:24.480 I want to announce or speak about or which is 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:25.280 so important. 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:28.240 Yeah, have you become better at that skill just as 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:31.520 a person, not even necessarily as a public figure, because 0:09:32.280 --> 0:09:35.679 I think it's something that a lot of us struggle with, 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:41.360 that impulse and especially if you are neurodivergent. I have ADHD. 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:44.080 You have ADHD. That also is something where we know, 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:47.439 even if you don't necessarily have the impulsivity part of 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:51.440 the diagnosis that stop think about it is something that 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:54.520 a lot of people with ADHD have to second guess. 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:58.439 Has that helped you having to have that professional discipline 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:01.640 to sit on things a bit in your just personal 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:03.560 life for you be the person. 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:08.560 I wish should be going, oh shit, Probably probably should have, 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:12.160 shouldn't it? But no, I don't think so. I think 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:15.320 the issue was as well that like I just yap 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:18.120 all day every day. I'm sure you're similar. I mean, 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:19.960 that's why we have these jobs. 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.560 That's why these podcasts will run for three hours and 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:24.440 hopefully yeah, I'll let it down. 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:27.720 Sorry, And all these female podcast hosts in the country 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:30.520 all have ADHD. It's not because we're faking, it's because 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:32.400 these are the professions were drawn to. Are we yap 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:35.439 and yap and yap to say? But everything we can 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:38.160 talk to anyone so I think that it actually hasn't, 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:40.600 although maybe I should go on therapy about that, because 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:47.280 I think they're definitely my my friendship circles I have 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:50.400 a I won't say they're quite small, I guess, but 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:54.280 I don't all my friends. I would say my best 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.520 friend friends. That makes sense, friends from ten years ago, 0:10:57.800 --> 0:11:01.600 friends where I see all the time. So me over 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:04.840 speaking about things isn't really an issue because I've known 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:06.920 them for so long and I know them so well so 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:12.040 and I don't really go out much to talk to 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:16.959 strangers so like because I'm too anxious. So yeah, I always. 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.480 Hate when somebody asks the question of you, or if 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:22.040 I ask a question and it's more like a curiosity 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:25.320 thing or has that changed you? Or do you think 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:28.000 about that? And then it sounds or you feel like, 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:30.560 oh I don't do that, and then you feel like 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:34.640 not not defending, but oh so there was certainly no 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.520 judgment at all. 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:38.920 Just curiosity. That's a good point, because I really do 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:41.520 think that. I mean, maybe I have not realized it, 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:48.000 but I honestly in the past, speaking of this burnout post, 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:51.240 since quitting radio, I've made a conscious effort to do 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:56.719 less in general, and I was also in a quite 0:11:56.760 --> 0:11:59.280 horrific relationship last year, so that made me speak about 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.760 things less in a bad way, not in a oh, 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:03.880 I'm going to keep this to myself. It was I'm 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:08.280 ashamed of this relationship. So I think that that's I 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:09.959 feel like I've been in a bubble since the last 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.760 time we spoke, really and not done as much work, 0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:16.040 not seen as many people, and just been getting through 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:18.120 life until today. 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:22.079 Well, you mentioned Adam and this of course, as you say, 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:25.880 Peking Duck front man Adam Hyde. I don't remember if 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:27.959 the soft launch or the hard launch came first, but 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:33.120 it made quite the splash on social semisoflach tell me. 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.120 Last year when we spoke, as you say, there was 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:38.440 obviously you were in a different chapter of your life 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:41.000 and things obviously were not going so well on a 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:44.160 multitude of fronts, but including on the relationship front. And 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:48.800 you said that you weren't necessarily keen on dating publicly. Again, 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:51.880 I don't think I've got the capacity to be with 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:56.000 someone publicly if they're in this industry. It causes so much. Again, 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:58.960 there's no judgment in me speaking your words back to you. 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:02.000 Obviously something has changed. 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:08.079 Yeah, I think that previously, the relationships that I've had, 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:13.240 I've been nervous to share because even if they're casual 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:15.480 flings or whatever, if these people in the public eye, 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:20.520 even though we're friends, I go, I don't want I 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:23.960 guess I'm avoiding finding out something shady about someone, or 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:26.040 I don't want people's opinion about it because I feel 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:30.200 like the relationship can't handle it. And being with Conrad 0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:33.360 and then breaking up with Conrad a few years ago, 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.120 I just didn't like the way that it was handled 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:39.559 in the media, and it was, Yeah, there were a 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:43.840 few weird things that happened there. So I guess with 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:48.600 Adam as well, it's different because I do really trust 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:50.920 the strength of relationship. But also we've been friends for 0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:54.000 two years, so us hanging out isn't some big new thing. 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.800 It's like we've been paying out publicly for years. So 0:13:56.840 --> 0:13:59.720 we were kind of like, well, it's just another photo 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:01.679 of us. We're kissing this time instead of being at 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:03.720 his gig or me interviewing him, or him doing a 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:05.440 favorite for me, or him coming to I came to 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:06.800 my live show. You know. It was in the audience 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:08.880 of my live show a year before we got together, 0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:11.000 when I still believed he didn't like me, which is 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:15.080 very funny. But yeah, so I think it's different because 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:18.600 our relationship is so good. I already know him, and 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:20.760 everyone already knows we know each other, so it isn't 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.880 like some other people that I have had flings with. 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:26.680 People would be like, how do you even how is 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:30.360 that even connected? Whereas with Adam we've been friends. And 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:34.960 I also was gonna sound a bit I know wanky, 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:38.040 but I just he's had a bigger career than me, 0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:40.960 so I don't think he's using me for anything. You know, 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:45.560 he's very successful in his own right, is an amazing musician, 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:49.480 and it's an amazing person, so I don't. Yeah, I 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:51.960 admire him more than anything, you know, like I think 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:54.800 I'm getting I'm cool for being with him rather the 0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:55.640 way around. 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:59.600 Well, it's great because you mentioned earlier how he's wild 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:02.240 to me. People feel that they can comment on someone 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:06.040 else's relationship that they don't even know, And as you say, 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:11.280 you've had people pontificating about too much, too soon and 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:15.120 all of this like nobody's business. But there's also been 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:18.800 lots of lovely feedback. But on that note, some social 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:23.440 medias have said that his role as a professional musician 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:26.280 has been diminished by being referred to as your partner. 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:30.240 Now I've never met Adam Hyde, but I loved him 0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:33.920 for saying this. His rebuttal was to people in the comments, 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:36.920 thank you for the concern, but I'll happily be labeled 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:42.160 Abby Chatfield's boyfriend any day. Love that. So to your point, 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:45.240 there's obviously none of that unease that I think everyone 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:48.760 in the public eye, certainly at that level of fame, 0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:51.520 and to be honest, you really are one of the 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:55.440 most breakout stars of the last ten years. You are 0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:57.800 one of the most well known women in the country. 0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:00.240 Anxiety, So as far as I'm good to my careers over. 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:02.200 In my head, I had that doom every month, so 0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:07.320 you know, yeah, yeah, every month. I think it's always 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:09.560 with my period. I go, right, yea, my life of 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.080 my career is over. But sorry's interrupting part of the night. 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:14.720 Yeah, well, it definitely is not over. I can tell 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:17.560 you that if you think that's just a little hormonal fluctuation, 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:22.440 but that's right. That level of success or fame, it 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.360 can bring with it that a level of ourn ease. 0:16:26.720 --> 0:16:29.480 Any high level success I think can Well, what is 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:32.560 this person, not just in a romantic relationship, but you 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:35.840 do start to worry that things I have a transactional 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:37.280 component to totally. 0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:40.120 I think even not pupaic eye. You wonder why someone's 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:41.960 with you, and people say people are using you for 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:46.840 whatever whatever reason. But the great thing is about Adam 0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:49.240 and I that what you always kind of laugh about 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:52.280 your oh fuck, like we have money, we both have careers, 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:54.000 like we don't have to worry about that at all, 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:56.960 which is wonderful. But I do think the response to 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:59.960 being called Abby Chapuld's boyfriend is so funny because it's 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:04.920 men are finally seeing how women are spoken about constantly 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:08.200 in the media and they're outraged that young women who 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:10.560 are my core demo would call Adam like I'd be 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:14.160 called Adam's girlfriend to Picking Duck fans and we laugh 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:16.840 at our demos are like completely separate circles. We think, so, 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:20.359 maybe some crossover, but I think eighty m Picking Duck 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:23.720 fans aren't really listening to a feminist podcast in general. 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:26.880 There might be some crossover, but we're in different worlds 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:30.040 in Australia, I think, so, yeah, it's funny them getting 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:32.280 so upset. Yet I'm sure those same men will call 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:38.359 women wags very freelance and and so and so complete accessory. 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:40.560 Yeah, exactly plus one. 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:44.000 Exactly so I think, And that's why everyone in my 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:46.879 comments is now calling him Abby Chatfeld's boyfriend, and because 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:51.720 they all get it. But yeah, in terms of transactional relationships, 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:54.240 it's really nice to know that he's not. Oh no, 0:17:54.320 --> 0:17:56.439 it just was really easy. Honestly, Sarah. It's just like 0:17:56.480 --> 0:17:58.439 we've been friends with so long and there's just no 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:03.919 hang ups and everything is just so in sync. Like 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:08.320 we recently spoke about moving in together and both of 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:10.720 us were like, we're seventy percent yes, thirty percent No, 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:14.200 these are out concerns about it, these why we want 0:18:14.200 --> 0:18:16.120 to do it, and we just consistently at every step 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:18.960 have been so aligned. So it doesn't feel like it's 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:24.399 fake or transactional. It just feels nice and silly and 0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:26.560 like a fun relationship, which I don't feel that I've 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:27.520 really had ever. 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:31.720 Does that then bring a pressure with it? Obviously again 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:33.560 a little bit like what we're saying, any kind of 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:38.080 success then has that expectation pressure becomes higher knowing that 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:41.200 so many people then have become invested in the relationship 0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:47.400 how do you navigate that in terms of what people's 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:50.760 expectations would be, And you've got to make decisions for yourself, 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:51.479 and so does he. 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:56.439 Yeah, I mean, I guess the thing is with Adam. 0:18:56.760 --> 0:18:59.760 I think because I've known him for so long. With 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:03.320 every other relationship, I've been really scared about pressure. But 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:06.880 I've known him for so long and we've had such 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:12.000 a strange journey to get together, so I think we're 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:15.919 just sort of able to brush it off. Although there 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:18.280 have been a lot of comments that I got upset 0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:22.960 about this morning that were saying, you know, oh, I 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:25.760 hope this goes well, but I'm sure we'll end in tears. 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:28.200 I can see the manic episode after the breakup coming now. 0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:32.399 And I told Adam he was like, we're sitting in 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:34.320 a fucking dog park. He's like, it's fine to be 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:36.240 upset about that, but just look around. We're a dog 0:19:36.280 --> 0:19:38.679 park with the dogs sitting in the sun. We had 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:42.280 a great night last night. I love you. You love me, Like, 0:19:42.320 --> 0:19:44.760 if you break up, okay, but I'm not dumping you. 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:47.600 So just have a breath. And who gives a fuck 0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:51.640 about who? Someone random person from you know Orange comments 0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:54.959 about like you know, or like, you know about our relationship. 0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:59.320 So I think ordinarily, I'm sure there will be moments 0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:01.439 where you feel that p but right now we're just 0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:06.600 having so much fun and we've already navigated a lot 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:10.119 over the past, you know, a couple of years and 0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:13.840 on each other, so I think, yeah, it should be 0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:16.639 I'm very optimistic, which I never am. I'm never optimistic. 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:19.720 Usually I'm like, no relationship questions about my current partner 0:20:19.760 --> 0:20:23.800 because I'm embarrassed. But now I'm like, I'll be fine 0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:27.160 and if I'm not whatever, you know that is. 0:20:27.119 --> 0:20:29.879 That is the attitude in life with everything, isn't it 0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:33.119 I'll be fine but whatever. Yeah, I just wanted to 0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:36.440 ask a question. It was so lovely. I think when 0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:38.880 you know someone for a long time and then if 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:41.800 it develops into something romantic, then there's those moments. So 0:20:41.840 --> 0:20:46.160 you mentioned earlier, oh, like he didn't think I liked him, 0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:48.879 or I didn't think that he liked me. Have you 0:20:48.960 --> 0:20:52.000 done that thing where you're then breaking down moments from 0:20:52.119 --> 0:20:54.879 the last couple of years and you find out what 0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:56.480 the other person was thinking. 0:20:57.000 --> 0:21:00.280 Yes, And it's actually, I mean, it's more me being 0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:02.600 convinced that he could not stand me. But it's just 0:21:03.000 --> 0:21:06.879 it's very funny in hindsight. For example, Peking Ducks like 0:21:06.880 --> 0:21:10.120 a version they did Fall Your Feet by Credit House, 0:21:10.160 --> 0:21:11.960 And the first date that Adam and I had, I 0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:14.280 was singing Credit House at him until five in the morning, 0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:19.760 very adhd of me, and he loved it, and so 0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:22.879 that was kind of inspired by me. And at the 0:21:22.880 --> 0:21:24.720 time I was like, oh no, like he disliked the song. 0:21:25.080 --> 0:21:27.920 And then even you know, he's invited me over the 0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:30.639 last New Years, like three weeks before we had started 0:21:30.680 --> 0:21:34.200 kind of seeing each other properly, he asked me to 0:21:34.200 --> 0:21:35.600 go to balley with him, and I thought it was 0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:37.440 to feel sorry for me. I was like, he must 0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:39.760 be doing out of sympathy. I went to his gig 0:21:39.920 --> 0:21:44.800 once and then he was like, come to the after 0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:46.160