WEBVTT - Why we hide our money mistakes

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to How Do They Have? Follow That, the podcast

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<v Speaker 1>that peeks into the financial lives of everyday Australians. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>Michael Thompson. I'm an author and the co host of

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast Fear and Greed. As always, I'm with Canna Campbell,

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<v Speaker 1>financial planner and founder of Sugar Number TV, the financial

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<v Speaker 1>literacy platform that you will find just about everywhere.

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<v Speaker 2>Like Canna, good morning.

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<v Speaker 1>We've all made money mistakes.

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<v Speaker 3>We certainly have, and I like that that can be big,

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<v Speaker 3>they could be small, like missed bills and bad investments,

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<v Speaker 3>impulse buys yep, didn't mean to look machine sell the

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<v Speaker 3>light machines.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, you mentioned that one before, but most of us

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<v Speaker 1>keep quiet about them, about the mistakes that we make. Today,

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<v Speaker 1>we're asking why why that is? Why do we hide

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<v Speaker 1>our money mistakes? And what happens when we do start

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<v Speaker 1>talking about them? Shall we start with our own mistakes?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, let's do it.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's actually specifically start with your mistake. What's the worst

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<v Speaker 1>money mistake that you've made?

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<v Speaker 2>I sold a property and at the time money was tight.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it was a single mum and juggling a lot,

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<v Speaker 2>and I got talked into selling it and I take

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<v Speaker 2>not blaming that person at all, but I kind of

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<v Speaker 2>had lost sight of my own goals and my own

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<v Speaker 2>capability of being resilient and strong and pushing through because

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<v Speaker 2>I'd actually survived a lot tougher financial pressure previously, and

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<v Speaker 2>these things were tight, but they weren't nearly as tight

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<v Speaker 2>as what I had gone through previously and gotten through right,

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<v Speaker 2>And I almost saw selling the property as my reward

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<v Speaker 2>to quit. And I massively regret selling it because I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't really need to sell it.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, and do you think about it now? Do you

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<v Speaker 1>do you kind of still look back and go if

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<v Speaker 1>I'd kept that, it would be worth x amount now?

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<v Speaker 1>Or do you dwell on it? Or have you been

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<v Speaker 1>able to let it go?

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<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't say I dwell on it, but I regret is.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a tough feeling, but it's also a great teacher.

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<v Speaker 2>So I feel like I've learned my lesson about being

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<v Speaker 2>very careful of people's best. You know, this particular person

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<v Speaker 2>had the best intentions at heart, but foolishly and naively

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<v Speaker 2>I forgot to account for the fact that they didn't

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<v Speaker 2>know anything about my story, my goals, and my ability

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<v Speaker 2>to be financially resilient and strong through tough times. So

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<v Speaker 2>it is what it is. There's nothing I can do

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<v Speaker 2>to go back in time and undo that and buy

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<v Speaker 2>the property back. But you know, I just have to

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<v Speaker 2>make sure I don't make the same mistake again. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>what about you?

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<v Speaker 1>Mine is probably some bad investments, I think, And this

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<v Speaker 1>is actually why are you laughing?

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<v Speaker 2>Guess is prior to meeting me?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, yeah, yeah, well, well, well prior and so this

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<v Speaker 1>was fooling myself into thinking that I could pick stocks, okay, right,

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<v Speaker 1>And so I suspect I am not alone in this

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<v Speaker 1>because picking stocks is a really difficult thing to do,

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<v Speaker 1>and it is a high risk investment strategy where you're

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<v Speaker 1>kind of putting a lot of your eggs into one

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<v Speaker 1>basket because you think that that is a company that's

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<v Speaker 1>going to go well. And as was the case with

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<v Speaker 1>me at the time, I did not know enough to

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<v Speaker 1>do that. My research was not deep enough. What I

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<v Speaker 1>did research, I don't think I fully understood as well.

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<v Speaker 1>And then when I'm like, okay, all right, I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to do this, I think I was investing more on

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<v Speaker 1>hype and hope as well, and not on sound financial strategy.

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<v Speaker 1>And as a result, I lost a significant amount of money.

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<v Speaker 2>Really yeah, and do you dwell on and feel? How

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<v Speaker 2>do you feel about it?

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<v Speaker 1>I have learned from it. I have learned not to

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<v Speaker 1>do that again because I still have them. I still

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<v Speaker 1>own those shares that I bought back then, because to

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<v Speaker 1>sell them now would be to crystallize that loss. I

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<v Speaker 1>would lock that in. And so I suppose I still

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<v Speaker 1>cling to a little bit of hope that one day

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<v Speaker 1>they'll come good. But also they are there pretty much

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<v Speaker 1>as a reminder that we all make mistakes, but that

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<v Speaker 1>some mistakes are avoidable, and that was an avoidable mistake.

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<v Speaker 1>And so what I've learned from that is to know

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<v Speaker 1>your own limitations, to understand that there are professionals out

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<v Speaker 1>there who do this every single day, and even they

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<v Speaker 1>still get it wrong right, And so it taught me

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<v Speaker 1>the importance of getting good advice and financial advice. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's probably the most tangible thing that's come out of this,

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<v Speaker 1>that I don't want to do that again. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to try and make these investment decisions on my

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<v Speaker 1>own and try and and do this research when I

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<v Speaker 1>don't didn't really understand what I was looking at. And

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<v Speaker 1>so now we are getting really good financial advice and

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<v Speaker 1>have a much better investment strategy around it than just

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<v Speaker 1>picking a stock and hoping that it turns into the

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<v Speaker 1>next kind of in video or the next after pay

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<v Speaker 1>or something like that and goes through the roof. Because

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<v Speaker 1>that's really what I was doing, and I learned from that.

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<v Speaker 1>So there you go. That's how about that. It's a

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<v Speaker 1>bit of an honesty session in here today.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, this is good, quite cathartic.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, I feel better. I feel like we could finish now,

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<v Speaker 1>except we're only at kind of five and a half

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<v Speaker 1>five and a half minutes. Why do you think it's

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<v Speaker 1>so hard to talk about these things? Why is it

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<v Speaker 1>that money mistakes are so hard for people to admit,

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<v Speaker 1>even to family and close friends. I mean, we just

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<v Speaker 1>did it just then, But I mean I generally don't

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<v Speaker 1>talk about that kind of thing very often.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you feel safe with me?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't because it feels like you are just waiting

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<v Speaker 1>for me to sleep up.

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<v Speaker 2>It's very expensive mistake. Yeah, yeah, Look, money isn't just

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<v Speaker 2>the dollars. It's the emotions. It's the identity that we

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<v Speaker 2>attached to money and self worth. And people equate financial

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<v Speaker 2>mistakes with failure, with incompetence, in immaturity, and many of

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<v Speaker 2>us were raised where talking about money was, you know, taboo.

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<v Speaker 2>So when something goes wrong, we go silent, we bury

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<v Speaker 2>the evidence, we don't talk about it, you know, we

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<v Speaker 2>don't talk about our failures, and we would rather carry

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<v Speaker 2>around that shame than risk that visible judgment comes from.

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<v Speaker 2>But really, once you're like, I'm not judging you, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm pretty sure you're not judging me. But I really

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<v Speaker 2>think that when we open up, we are being incredibly

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<v Speaker 2>brave and really authentic when we do that.

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<v Speaker 1>The thing I like about it as well is that

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<v Speaker 1>you can learn so much about it, Oh yeah, from

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<v Speaker 1>your mistakes, from other people's mistakes, and I know that

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<v Speaker 1>then I've taken so much out of that, And now

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<v Speaker 1>I find it so interesting talking to investors and professionals

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<v Speaker 1>in that space and just seeing what they can tell

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<v Speaker 1>you and see what their mistakes were, and see kind

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<v Speaker 1>of the potential path that you can take, and it

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<v Speaker 1>is so fascinating. Do you think that this idea of

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<v Speaker 1>not wanting to share mistakes? Does it start early? Does

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<v Speaker 1>is it come from kind of childhood? Is it about

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<v Speaker 1>the way you're raised around money, where does it come from.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it financial shame? I suppose.

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<v Speaker 2>I actually think financial shame starts when we develop awareness.

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<v Speaker 2>So people make mistakes with money every single day, overspending,

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<v Speaker 2>missing bills, emotional purchases. But if you don't understand the

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<v Speaker 2>impact of that, you don't feel the shame. So it's

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<v Speaker 2>not until you actually gain even a small amount of

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<v Speaker 2>financial education or even like self awareness, that you can

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<v Speaker 2>actually feel that sense of regret. And that's when that

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<v Speaker 2>it really starts to kick in and you feel that

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<v Speaker 2>uncomfortable realization of I should have known better, and you

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<v Speaker 2>know that can obviously then be compounded by what we

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<v Speaker 2>learn as we continue. You know, as we grow up,

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<v Speaker 2>we learn more and more. So money beliefs, yes, they're inherited,

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<v Speaker 2>but you know, it also is add as to how

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<v Speaker 2>much we are aware as to the irresponsible or the

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<v Speaker 2>regretful mistakes we make over time. And so yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't think it's the actual I don't think it's necessarily

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<v Speaker 2>imprinted in us. I think it's very much linked to awareness.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, what's the danger then in hiding these mistakes and

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<v Speaker 1>instead of just talking about them openly? Is it the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that you won't learn about them. Is it the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that you run the risk of repeating them if

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<v Speaker 1>you don't acknowledge it.

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<v Speaker 2>Look shame thrives in silence. So when people hide, for example, debt,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, which is really common, regret or missed repayments

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<v Speaker 2>or poor investment decisions, the problems actually almost take over

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<v Speaker 2>and can almost like paralyze you going forward, like almost

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<v Speaker 2>like a parasite. So there's you know, there's a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of danger in just not airing it, you know, and

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<v Speaker 2>then obviously it can lead to financial avoidance, further unopened bills,

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<v Speaker 2>if you've been missing bills, it can impact your ability

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<v Speaker 2>to borrow further down the track if you've had a

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<v Speaker 2>debt repayment history. It also can isolate people, It can

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<v Speaker 2>take its toll on their mental health, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>can actually sometimes make people. Then the problem can spread

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<v Speaker 2>further like a parasite and become really toxic, and it

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<v Speaker 2>goes from not just overspending, but now it's gambling as well.

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<v Speaker 2>So it is really important to open up. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>the saying a problem shared is a problem halved, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I think this is really important that we take ownership

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<v Speaker 2>and accountability, but we also let other people know what's

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<v Speaker 2>going on and where we went wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay. Is that then, if that's the danger in hiding money,

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<v Speaker 1>the benefit of talking about it actually makes us better

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<v Speaker 1>with money.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so we're replacing the shame with learning.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's simple.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's just a simple action.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, all right, I think we need to take a

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<v Speaker 1>quick break when we come back. It is I'd like

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<v Speaker 1>to know some examples, if you've got them, of people

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<v Speaker 1>kind of taking financial mistakes and turning them into a

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<v Speaker 1>positive thing, what they've learned from it. But also what

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<v Speaker 1>about in a relationship as well, how couples can navigate

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<v Speaker 1>money mistakes together without blame, without guilt, Because we know

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<v Speaker 1>that money can be such a challenging thing in a relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>but all of a sudden, if you're trying to hide

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<v Speaker 1>a money mistake from a partner, then it just spirals.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I want to kind of know how to

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<v Speaker 1>navigate that part as well. Back in a moment, can

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<v Speaker 1>we are talking today about money mistakes and why we

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<v Speaker 1>hide our money mistakes and the benefit then of not

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<v Speaker 1>hiding our money mistakes and talking about it quite openly,

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<v Speaker 1>how do we change? How do we just start being

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<v Speaker 1>more transparent about finances, is it do you do? You

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<v Speaker 1>need to start with being honest with yourself before you're

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<v Speaker 1>starting to talk about it with other people.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, like having that in a conversation yourself going all right,

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<v Speaker 2>I stuffed up, I made a big mistake and is

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<v Speaker 2>now time to face the music. So what I would

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<v Speaker 2>recommend anyone does is actually write it down, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>write down the mistake. You know, it might be some

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<v Speaker 2>money that you owe or the investment you made. Just

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<v Speaker 2>write it down because that awareness is incredibly healing. And

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<v Speaker 2>then I recommend people also write down the emotions that

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<v Speaker 2>are attached to this, you know, the guilt, the fear,

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<v Speaker 2>the shame, the embarrassment, you know, just because that helps

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<v Speaker 2>release it. And then I would recommend someone going you

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<v Speaker 2>can find someone that you can confide in, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>someone that you know will keep what you're sharing confidential,

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<v Speaker 2>will not judge you, but will also help you move

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<v Speaker 2>from this so that it can be a turning point.

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<v Speaker 2>This is your rock bottom and nothing is going to

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<v Speaker 2>get worse than what has happened here, so that you

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<v Speaker 2>can move forward from this point on and do it

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<v Speaker 2>in the right way so that you don't repeat history

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<v Speaker 2>and you get a great learning lesson and you actually

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<v Speaker 2>turn it around to be actually a really powerful pivotal

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<v Speaker 2>point in your life where it actually has served you

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<v Speaker 2>in a positive way, even though at at times it

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<v Speaker 2>feels horrific and horrible and like a dirty secret. So

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<v Speaker 2>they're the first steps. And I think you know, your

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<v Speaker 2>story is a classic example, because you made a bad investment,

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<v Speaker 2>you got caught up in the emotions and the excitement,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, you left that rational thinking at the door.

0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:54.720
<v Speaker 2>And now look where you are financially. You're getting great advice,

0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.480
<v Speaker 2>you're getting strategic advice, You're being intentional with your money.

0:12:57.720 --> 0:12:59.320
<v Speaker 2>It's almost like a blessing in disguise.

0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:02.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, I think something positive has certainly come out

0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.040
<v Speaker 1>of that. Have you seen other examples of that of

0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:09.000
<v Speaker 1>people taking financial mistakes and it becomes almost a positive

0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:10.520
<v Speaker 1>turning point within their lives?

0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh, my goodness, so many, And your story is not

0:13:13.720 --> 0:13:16.160
<v Speaker 2>uncommon at all. You know, that is often the reason

0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:18.000
<v Speaker 2>why people will go and lose a whole pile of

0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:20.480
<v Speaker 2>money on this penny stock or the tip they got

0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:22.720
<v Speaker 2>from a taxi driver or a friend at the pub,

0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:25.200
<v Speaker 2>and they blow a whole pile of money, and then

0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:27.080
<v Speaker 2>they go oh my goodness, I got this so wrong.

0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:29.840
<v Speaker 2>I now need to do this properly and do this

0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:32.440
<v Speaker 2>the right way, in the smart way. And that's quite often,

0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:34.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, why people would come and see me, because

0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:36.439
<v Speaker 2>they needed to start all over again. All the other

0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:38.720
<v Speaker 2>side is people just getting into a whole pile of

0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:39.520
<v Speaker 2>credit card debt.

0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:40.280
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.440
<v Speaker 2>I remember when someone came and saw me, they had

0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:46.240
<v Speaker 2>three hundred and sixty thousand dollars across multiple credit cards.

0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:47.960
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:51.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And so it was at that point they were like, Okay,

0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:54.760
<v Speaker 2>I need a plan and I need to just stop

0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.160
<v Speaker 2>this from happening. I need someone to help guide me

0:13:57.200 --> 0:13:59.520
<v Speaker 2>out of this and get me to the stage. I'm

0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:03.080
<v Speaker 2>not fun interest. I'm actually building an investment portfolio or

0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:06.200
<v Speaker 2>paying off a home, you know, doing this. So this

0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:09.679
<v Speaker 2>is very very common, and you know, we see in

0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:11.800
<v Speaker 2>all sorts of facets of life. You know, people you

0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:13.440
<v Speaker 2>know put on a bit of weight and you know,

0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:16.679
<v Speaker 2>get sick, and that's their catalyst for really healthy eating

0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:19.480
<v Speaker 2>and changing their life around. So it's not just just money,

0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:21.840
<v Speaker 2>but it's the moment you stop hiding and start owning it.

0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:25.080
<v Speaker 2>That's when things start to change and you feel that

0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:29.520
<v Speaker 2>sense of release and relief. And it all starts with Okay,

0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:32.960
<v Speaker 2>I need help. It's got to come from you. It's

0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:33.760
<v Speaker 2>got to come from within.

0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:37.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay. What about then in a relationship? And I alluded

0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:44.680
<v Speaker 1>to this before that in a couple there is an

0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:51.680
<v Speaker 1>added complication there. How does a couple navigate money mistakes

0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:56.920
<v Speaker 1>without blame? Without guilt? Is it all just we've talked

0:14:56.960 --> 0:15:01.760
<v Speaker 1>about this before, communication, just talking open and honestly it is.

0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:04.520
<v Speaker 2>But it's also the way that you talk about it, okay, So,

0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:07.160
<v Speaker 2>and the approach and the language you use and the

0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.280
<v Speaker 2>tone of your voice, you know, so approaching it as

0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:14.280
<v Speaker 2>a team, not as competing opponents. It's not about, you know, blaming.

0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:17.560
<v Speaker 2>So a great way of doing this is talking it

0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.080
<v Speaker 2>with a sense of curiosity, like, you know, can you

0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:25.160
<v Speaker 2>help me understand how this happened? Rather than why did

0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:27.800
<v Speaker 2>you go and do that? What we're thinking? Like, that's

0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:32.600
<v Speaker 2>a lot more aggressive approach and focus on the solutions

0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:36.640
<v Speaker 2>not the actual shame. So questions like all right, how

0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:39.880
<v Speaker 2>do we prevent this from happening again? Or how can

0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:44.200
<v Speaker 2>we fix this as quickly as we possibly can together?

0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:47.280
<v Speaker 2>Or what is that we need to do to repair

0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:49.440
<v Speaker 2>this so that we can continue on working on those

0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:51.880
<v Speaker 2>goals and dreams, you know, really come back to what

0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:53.760
<v Speaker 2>the big picture is, what does it really want. We

0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:56.120
<v Speaker 2>can often get caught up in the damage and the

0:15:56.160 --> 0:16:00.640
<v Speaker 2>destruction of that situation which doesn't really have beyond a

0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.560
<v Speaker 2>point and actually can sometimes make people more defensive and

0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:06.720
<v Speaker 2>more hurt and it just things can then spiral out

0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:08.760
<v Speaker 2>of control. But when you focus on all, right, this

0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:10.560
<v Speaker 2>is where we're trying to get to, what are the

0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:12.840
<v Speaker 2>things we need to do so you know that solution

0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:17.200
<v Speaker 2>above the line, you know, mindset, and it's not about

0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:19.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, who made the mistake, it's about how you

0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:23.880
<v Speaker 2>both recover and how it to actually solidify your relationship.

0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:26.760
<v Speaker 2>You know, I've spoken about this before. We've had friends

0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:29.920
<v Speaker 2>where one's a massive spender, one's you know, a saver,

0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:35.480
<v Speaker 2>and they've been able to turn things around where they're

0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:38.400
<v Speaker 2>now on the same page together and you know, they're

0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:42.960
<v Speaker 2>smashing goals and they're motivated and it's actually made them

0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:46.720
<v Speaker 2>a much stronger couple and they're so united, which is

0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:50.520
<v Speaker 2>really powerful. So it doesn't it doesn't need to necessarily

0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:54.680
<v Speaker 2>destroy you. It can actually bring you together and realize

0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:56.400
<v Speaker 2>how strong you both are and how you both are

0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:57.320
<v Speaker 2>a great team together.

0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:01.040
<v Speaker 1>Kind of coming back to where we start asked about

0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:05.480
<v Speaker 1>why we hide our money mistakes, And I know I

0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:08.359
<v Speaker 1>have a tendency to blame social media for everything, but

0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:10.399
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to do it again right now. Do you

0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:14.119
<v Speaker 1>think kind of social media with everybody showing their perfect

0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:19.400
<v Speaker 1>kind of lives or their perfect version of themselves, and

0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:24.200
<v Speaker 1>that can often include finances, They're perfect financial life. Do

0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:25.639
<v Speaker 1>you reckon it makes it worse? Do you reckon it

0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:28.680
<v Speaker 1>makes it harder to be honest that we are not perfect,

0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:30.760
<v Speaker 1>that we do make mistakes when all of a sudden

0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:34.160
<v Speaker 1>you're just seeing everybody just making good decisions.

0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:38.040
<v Speaker 2>Apparently definitely, because obviously social media is you know, it's

0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:43.800
<v Speaker 2>the curated highlights, you know, the milestones, the first home,

0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:47.440
<v Speaker 2>the new car, the luxury holiday. You know, you don't

0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:50.160
<v Speaker 2>see the struggle and the setbacks and all the failures

0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:51.879
<v Speaker 2>that have happened, and they could have been. You might

0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:55.080
<v Speaker 2>see with someone that sold their business for a great figure,

0:17:55.440 --> 0:17:57.679
<v Speaker 2>but you may not know that they've actually had seven

0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:01.760
<v Speaker 2>failed businesses before that, Yeah, you know, and they've lost

0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:04.040
<v Speaker 2>millions of dollars on that before then. So you know,

0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:07.639
<v Speaker 2>it's you've got to look at you know, eyes wide open.

0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:11.280
<v Speaker 2>It's such so surface level. And obviously social media creates

0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:17.000
<v Speaker 2>that comparison that can you know, turn healthy ambition into

0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:21.320
<v Speaker 2>something quite toxic, and that self criticism. So yes, you've

0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:23.199
<v Speaker 2>got to be careful of social media as well. But

0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:25.280
<v Speaker 2>there also I think more and more people on social

0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:29.399
<v Speaker 2>media becoming more authentic and open and transparent, sharing their

0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:31.600
<v Speaker 2>setbacks and their failures and where they went wrong and

0:18:31.720 --> 0:18:34.040
<v Speaker 2>where they had to kind of almost reinvent themselves.

0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:37.919
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's leave this on a very positive note. What

0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:42.439
<v Speaker 1>is your message to someone, To anyone that is still

0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:47.040
<v Speaker 1>carrying guilt over a financial mistake? They how do they

0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:49.639
<v Speaker 1>let it go? Or not necessarily let it go, but

0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:51.679
<v Speaker 1>how do they move forward with that?

0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:58.600
<v Speaker 2>It is absolutely impossible to live a perfect life without

0:18:58.640 --> 0:19:03.400
<v Speaker 2>any failures whatsoever. You've got to be kind and forgive yourselves.

0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:07.560
<v Speaker 2>Mistakes are all part of learning, and the moment you

0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:12.000
<v Speaker 2>can name it and understand it and then take even

0:19:12.080 --> 0:19:15.480
<v Speaker 2>just one small action like calling a counselor or making

0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:17.960
<v Speaker 2>an appointment to see a financial planner, or picking up

0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:21.439
<v Speaker 2>a book or listening to another podcast, you'll start to

0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:26.720
<v Speaker 2>move forward. So you don't have to fix absolutely everything immediately.

0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:29.199
<v Speaker 2>You just need to get started on the journey of

0:19:29.440 --> 0:19:32.679
<v Speaker 2>fixing it and most importantly, learning and educating yourself so

0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:33.919
<v Speaker 2>that you never repeat history.

0:19:34.119 --> 0:19:36.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, great advice, all right. If anybody wants more information,

0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:41.359
<v Speaker 1>they want to see more from you Instagram.

0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:43.080
<v Speaker 2>Instagram, send me a message on Instagram, share with me

0:19:43.280 --> 0:19:47.600
<v Speaker 2>your dirty financial laundry and we'll break it down together.

0:19:47.800 --> 0:19:50.920
<v Speaker 1>That's it. Sugar Mama TV on Instagram, and you can

0:19:50.960 --> 0:19:53.240
<v Speaker 1>hear me every day with Sean Aylmer on Fear and

0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:55.919
<v Speaker 1>Greed business News. You can use Thank you for listening

0:19:56.000 --> 0:19:58.159
<v Speaker 1>to how do they afford that? Remember to hit follow

0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:00.159
<v Speaker 1>on the podcast. And the best thing that you you

0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:03.120
<v Speaker 1>can do is tell somebody else send them a link

0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:05.200
<v Speaker 1>to this episode if you think that they might benefit

0:20:05.200 --> 0:20:07.280
<v Speaker 1>from hearing it, and spread the word about how do

0:20:07.280 --> 0:20:09.480
<v Speaker 1>they afford that? Thank you for your company. Join us

0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:10.200
<v Speaker 1>again next week.