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Speaker 1: I'll get a team. It's it's the next year, it's

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Speaker 1: the year after the last year, it's this year, it's

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty six, it's Tiff, it's Jumbo, it's us, it's you,

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Speaker 1: It's the fucking the whole kit and kaboodle. And I'm excited.

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Speaker 1: I'm just building up to a crescendo, but I'm pretty

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Speaker 1: excited about this year. A bit of mayhem going on

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Speaker 1: right now, but I hope. I know this is not

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Speaker 1: our first showback, but I hope Chrissy was good for you,

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Speaker 1: or at the very least not horrible and chaotic. I

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Speaker 1: know for a lot of people, Christmas and New Year

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Speaker 1: and or New Year can be a time that isn't

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Speaker 1: so much fun, that isn't doesn't bring so much joy,

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Speaker 1: and for some people even is somewhat traumatic. So I

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Speaker 1: hope you got through it okay, and I hope this

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Speaker 1: year is amazing for you. Speaking of amazing, she is

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Speaker 1: she is.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be presumptuous, but I don't feel

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Speaker 2: like that was a calling.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't even thinking about you, but all right, hello,

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Speaker 1: this is amazing. I'm miss amazing. I should say, how

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Speaker 1: are you?

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Speaker 2: Very good? Thank you very good. I'm ready for twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty six.

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Speaker 1: Now have you done well? We haven't done one since

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Speaker 1: last year. We haven't done one for probably a couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks or a week and a half at least.

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Speaker 1: Have you done one of yours? Or is this your

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Speaker 1: first one back?

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Speaker 2: This is my first one back, and I's been a

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Speaker 2: few at least two, if not maybe three weeks. I

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Speaker 2: would say. I December was a little bit not the best,

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Speaker 2: so I pulled up stumps earlier than what was planned

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Speaker 2: on recording podcasts. Yeah, wait till the joy seeped back

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Speaker 2: into my world.

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Speaker 1: And was it good to have a little bit of

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Speaker 1: I don't know, time away from the microphone and the

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Speaker 1: studio and to regroup a little.

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Speaker 2: It really was, And not not that it always is.

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Speaker 2: I just think given what had gone on in my world,

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Speaker 2: it very much was because I wasn't in a great

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Speaker 2: space to use my mind and really engage and love

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Speaker 2: the process of conversation at that time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, but it's been nice.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: It was funny, like I work through Christmas. I don't

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Speaker 2: really have an attachment to holidays or breaks or anything,

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Speaker 2: but something about ticking over new year's into twenty twenty

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Speaker 2: six just had this freshness and excitement about it that

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Speaker 2: I didn't have before and for no reason. So I

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Speaker 2: find that interesting.

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Speaker 1: Hey, yes, yes, I don't know. It's funny, like the

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Speaker 1: psychology of time and the psychology of dates and days

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Speaker 1: on calendars. And you know, I heard Tim Ferriss talking

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Speaker 1: this morning and he goes, no matter what day you start,

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Speaker 1: it's the start of a new year, right, And I

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Speaker 1: was thinking, so, like today's January five, Well, it's the

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Speaker 1: start of a new year, because one year from now

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Speaker 1: to be January five, that's a whole year. That's a

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Speaker 1: you know, but we have all of these stories which

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Speaker 1: are not bad, but they're good to reflect on, you know,

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Speaker 1: thinking about thinking metacognition, you think, oh, why do I

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Speaker 1: think that? And I know of this is an old

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Speaker 1: chestnut I've banged on about too many times, but it

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Speaker 1: is an interesting reflection when you genuinely think that your

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Speaker 1: chances are better of succeeding if you start on a

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Speaker 1: Thursday rather than a Monday, because the Thursday in your

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Speaker 1: head on this year happens to be January one or

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Speaker 1: whatever it is. And so you have a story that

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Speaker 1: this is the right day and the other day is

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Speaker 1: not the right day, when in actual fact, it's got

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Speaker 1: so little to do with the fucking date, like essentially nothing,

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Speaker 1: and perhaps your belief about the date or your idea

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Speaker 1: about the date, or your intention around what you're going

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Speaker 1: to do when that date, but even then, it isn't

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Speaker 1: actually about the date. It's about psychology. It's about your

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Speaker 1: preparedness and readiness to do the thing that you say

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Speaker 1: you want to do and haven't done for maybe the

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Speaker 1: last ten January ones or whatever it was, but that

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Speaker 1: you know, just that I'm and this is how I think, right,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not really surprised, but part of me is

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Speaker 1: surprised that people don't realize what a crock of shit

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Speaker 1: resolutions on January one are for the majority, Like if

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Speaker 1: it was a drug, it would never get approved by

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Speaker 1: the FDA or whoever, right, because most of the time

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Speaker 1: when you take that drug in infurt commas, you don't

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Speaker 1: get the result you want. You don't get better, or

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Speaker 1: you don't improve, or you don't get healthy or you know,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't. And it's not that it's a bad day,

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Speaker 1: it's just the psychology around this is so fucking silly.

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Speaker 1: And so irrational even when people going.

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Speaker 2: Part of this psychology that works for it though, because

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Speaker 2: it's because there's a break in routine, and the problem

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Speaker 2: is where routine habitual creatures. So it's really hard to

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Speaker 2: start something new in the middle of the sameness of

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Speaker 2: work and this and that, and there's no time or space.

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Speaker 2: So in a way, unbeknownst to us, we get out

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Speaker 2: of our normal operating system. And that's when those thoughts

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Speaker 2: come in. I'll do this differently this time, because something

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Speaker 2: about right now feels different, and that.

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Speaker 1: Sounds good in theory, right, but if we look at

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Speaker 1: the evidence, it doesn't work. Like most people who start

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Speaker 1: about to work. No, no, it's no. You can't blame

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Speaker 1: work because then you're attributing your failure to something beyond

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Speaker 1: your control. Right, what you're saying makes sense in that Yep,

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Speaker 1: it's different. We're not at work. We're in a different space,

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Speaker 1: either geographically or mentally or emotionally. And it's a new year,

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Speaker 1: so mentally it's a new start. I get all of that,

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Speaker 1: and I agree with you all of those points are true.

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Speaker 1: But when you stand back and you look at the

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Speaker 1: data or the forget opinions and ideas and beliefs. Just

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Speaker 1: look at the evidence. The evidence is that most people

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Speaker 1: who say they're going to change their life beginning on

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Speaker 1: January one don't. That's just true. That's not an idea.

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Speaker 1: So you now, does that mean people can't change on

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Speaker 1: January one? No, not at all, not at all. But

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Speaker 1: you can change on January five. You can change on

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Speaker 1: December twenty five. You know. It's just that. But I

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Speaker 1: thought we might talk about this a little bit, like

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Speaker 1: without doing the whole what are we going to do

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Speaker 1: this year? And how are we? You know, I think

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Speaker 1: it's been well. I just think you know me, and

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Speaker 1: I think my audience knows me, and you of course,

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Speaker 1: I think kind of rah rahring people up. It doesn't work,

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Speaker 1: and it's good. You know. We talk about the value

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Speaker 1: and the lack of value of motivation. We talk about

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Speaker 1: discipline and self control and focus and structure and planning

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Speaker 1: and timeline and strategy, and we talk about all the things.

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Speaker 1: But you know, at some stage we have to go.

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Speaker 1: And this ain't a popular thing to say, but we

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Speaker 1: have to go. I'm the problem because I'm not doing

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Speaker 1: the work, Like the only one who can change my

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Speaker 1: life is me, you know, and if my plan is

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Speaker 1: that I accidentally succeed or someone's going to save me

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Speaker 1: or rescue me, then I'm in trouble. Now. That doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean people can't love you or support you or help you.

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Speaker 1: Of course they can. But ultimately, ultimately what's going to

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Speaker 1: make my life better is my choices and my behaviors,

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Speaker 1: and my resilience and my mental toughness, and my ability

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Speaker 1: to do the things that I said I would do

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Speaker 1: without the cheersquad, without the fans, without the clapping, without

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Speaker 1: the recognition, without the approval, without any attention, it still comes,

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Speaker 1: you know. And we can slice it and dice it

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Speaker 1: a thousand ways, and we can do all the fucking

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Speaker 1: self help programs and books and videos and podcasts and

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Speaker 1: even including this one. Right, I don't think this is

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Speaker 1: the answer to anything, Like I think, like what a

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Speaker 1: lot of self help tells you is that we have

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Speaker 1: the ten steps, or we have the five steps, or

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Speaker 1: we have the model, or we have the structure or

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Speaker 1: the process, and all you need to do is follow this.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, that the point is to follow this is

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Speaker 1: the problem that the do this well, nobody can do

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Speaker 1: that except the human in the middle, you know. So

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Speaker 1: if you've got fucking Tony Robbins in your corner and

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Speaker 1: Oprah in your corner and the Dalai Lama and Jesus

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Speaker 1: cheering you on, you still need to figure out what

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Speaker 1: you're going to eat for breakfast. You still need to

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Speaker 1: figure out whether or not you're going to go to

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Speaker 1: the gym and not fucking give up. You still need

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Speaker 1: to figure out whether or not you're going to make

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Speaker 1: smarter decisions.

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Speaker 2: What do you think it's missing and where do you

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Speaker 2: think people can look and find that? Because a protocol

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Speaker 2: is good because you don't have to think, you get

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Speaker 2: something to do, you get the thing that works. What's

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Speaker 2: the missing piece of the puzzle? It's because this I mean,

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Speaker 2: obviously this is easily applied to fitness, but you can

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Speaker 2: apply it to anything in life, any behavior change.

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Speaker 1: I think the missing piece of the puzzle is that

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Speaker 1: we are not willing to do shit that we don't

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Speaker 1: want to do. Yeah, like, well, the problem is it's

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Speaker 1: like and people can jump up and down right a

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Speaker 1: zen pic. So I was talking to somebody the other day. Right,

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying don't take a dude, I'm not saying anything,

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Speaker 1: but I'm saying, all right, well, how does the zenpic work. Well,

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Speaker 1: it works on a range of levels, and it mitigates

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Speaker 1: hunger and it reduces if you do. But ultimately, how

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Speaker 1: does it, like, how do people actually reduce? Like, what's

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Speaker 1: the mechanism. Well, the mechanism fucking sit down, batten down

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Speaker 1: the hatches is less calories? Fuck me drunk?

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Speaker 2: What?

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Speaker 1: And it's because people eat less? Right? And I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying again, but well, is it possible that people just

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Speaker 1: eat less? Well, yes it is, but it's uncomfortable. But

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Speaker 1: ozenpic makes it easier and more comfortable. So I'm not

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Speaker 1: anti or pro I'm saying it horses for courses. But

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Speaker 1: what I am saying is here's what I know. When

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Speaker 1: I do something that is hard, that is also effective

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Speaker 1: and also strategically intelligent, then what I like. For example,

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Speaker 1: let me give a so we're not talking about fat

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Speaker 1: and weight loss and people getting emotional, and I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to talk about the you project. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: talk about your podcast. What number are you up to?

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Speaker 2: Nine seventy eight, maybe.

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Speaker 1: Let's say a thousand, So you're up to the best

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Speaker 1: part of a thousand podcasts. You've done years, right, and

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Speaker 1: you've done good shows, not so good shows. You've had

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Speaker 1: interviews where you went, I fucking killed it where I

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Speaker 1: don't know, by the way, I'm just correct me if

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Speaker 1: I'm wrong, where you fucked up, or you could have

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Speaker 1: done it better. Where you look back at things in

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Speaker 1: like I had no idea what I was doing and

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah. But I developed and I learned and

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Speaker 1: I evolved. And now you're a thousand shows in and

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Speaker 1: you did a lot of shit that was hard, and

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Speaker 1: you produced it, and you got guests, and you reach

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Speaker 1: out and you got rejected and you got accepted, and

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Speaker 1: you sat on the microphone and you asked dumb questions

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Speaker 1: and you asked good questions, and you got better and

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Speaker 1: you developed. You went through fucking years and a thousand

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Speaker 1: episodes of doing shit that now nobody can take from you.

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Speaker 1: You have got this intellectual property, you have got this skill,

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Speaker 1: You have got this knowledge and understanding and capacity that

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Speaker 1: you could never get through a fucking podcast version of ozepic. Right,

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Speaker 1: So you did the work. Now you know now if

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Speaker 1: you started another podcast tomorrow, your first podcast would be good.

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Speaker 1: The first one would be good, right, because you did

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Speaker 1: the things now, so too, with building a business or

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Speaker 1: building a good relationship, or losing weight or building strength.

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Speaker 1: We keep looking for the way to get the outcome

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Speaker 1: without hurting. Yep, and it's in the hurting. I'm not

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Speaker 1: talking about reckless you know, pain. I'm talking about strategic discomfort,

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Speaker 1: like progressive overload in the gym, progressive resistance training. You know,

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Speaker 1: you go in and you do something and it's painful.

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Speaker 1: It hurts a bit, but in a week or two

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Speaker 1: it hurts less, and then it hurts less, and then

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Speaker 1: you lift more and it hurts again, but you adapt again,

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Speaker 1: and over time, the thing that used to be painful

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Speaker 1: now is painless. And the thing that used to create

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Speaker 1: a negative hormonal response or biochemical response stress response in

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Speaker 1: your body now gives you a dopamine response because you

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Speaker 1: fucking love it. Right, So you, the same human being,

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Speaker 1: have changed your relationship with this thing in this example

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Speaker 1: weight training, you in the podcast example, you've changed your relationship, knowledge, understanding,

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Speaker 1: skill capacity, and attitude about stuff. So now you can

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Speaker 1: walk into anywhere and you could teach most people on

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Speaker 1: the planet how to set up, how to develop, how

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Speaker 1: to do a podcast, how to interview all these things right,

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Speaker 1: and so at the same time, I'm not against shortcuts

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Speaker 1: or if they're healthy and not ridiculous, but I just

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Speaker 1: think this aversion that we have to doing the work,

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Speaker 1: like we want the reward without the work. And I've

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Speaker 1: said it, you know, we want the top of the mountain,

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Speaker 1: we just don't want to fucking climb. So it's it's,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I'm all for rah rah and dick

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Speaker 1: jokes and encouraging people and being silly and I'm all

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Speaker 1: for you know, having fun and taking the piss. But

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Speaker 1: you know, I was up at full thirty this morning

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Speaker 1: and before my coffee, I walked eight kas, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not going aunt I great at all, because

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Speaker 1: I'm not great. In fact, the reason I do that

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Speaker 1: is because I'm not great. The reason I do that

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Speaker 1: is because I get fat as fuck. If I don't

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Speaker 1: do it, if I'm not eating well, moving well, lifting weights,

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Speaker 1: managing my last style well, making good decisions, doing smart things,

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Speaker 1: I would be a morbidly obese sixty two year old

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Speaker 1: or a dead sixty two year old. That's absolutely true.

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Speaker 1: So what do I do well? Do you want to

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Speaker 1: be dead or morbidly obese or unhealthy? No? I don't, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what needs to happen. Well, create you need an operating

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Speaker 1: system that works for you, and you either do the

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Speaker 1: thing or you don't do the thing. And so often

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Speaker 1: it comes down to most people just won't do the

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Speaker 1: thing because you can always rationalize, oh yeah, but like

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Speaker 1: my last six years full time work, full time study,

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Speaker 1: you know, full time research, full time work, work, seven

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Speaker 1: typically seven podcasts a week, in state, travel, regularly, aging, parents,

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Speaker 1: lots of shit going on. And I'm not saying I'm terrific.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I'm telling you all the time I'm far

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Speaker 1: less than terrific. But what I do is I go, well,

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Speaker 1: here's the problem or challenge. How do I solve the problem?

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Speaker 1: How do I meet the challenge? What is the best

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Speaker 1: thing for me to do? What is the best question

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Speaker 1: for me to ask? The best question is not, oh,

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Speaker 1: why does all this shit happen to me? It's so unfair.

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Speaker 1: The best question is, all right, well this shit has happened.

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Speaker 1: How do I navigate this?

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Speaker 2: What do you reckon? We have an issue also just

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Speaker 2: admitting shit. It's not important to us, Like if we're

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Speaker 2: not doing it, it's not a priority. It's not important

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Speaker 2: to Why can't we just say that thing that society says,

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Speaker 2: is great health or whatever it is or success doesn't

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Speaker 2: rank for me because I'm not doing what I should

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Speaker 2: be doing.

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Speaker 1: That is a really smart question. So you wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: asked that in the first episode. You would have gone,

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Speaker 1: what color is that T shirt? No? Sorry, I apologize.

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Speaker 1: That's a good question. I thought about that the other day.

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Speaker 1: That is very insightful because I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: people say, you know, when we go, oh, what a values?

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Speaker 1: Values are the things that are important to you? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so hey, everyone in the room, put up your hand.

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Speaker 1: If health is one of your top three values, all

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Speaker 1: the hands go up. Yeah, maybe seventy percent of the

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Speaker 1: people in the room are not living in a healthy manner.

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Speaker 1: And you go, well, why'd you put your hand up,

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Speaker 1: because clearly it's not important to you because you're living

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Speaker 1: a lifestyle which is inconsistent with, or perhaps the antithesis

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Speaker 1: of reducing healthy outcomes. Again, no judgment, no hate, no

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Speaker 1: just observation. I said, who's and you put up your hand?

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Speaker 1: And also, you know, so I think that we like

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Speaker 1: to present ourselves in a way which makes us look

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Speaker 1: best or better to the rest of the world, including me.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying, oh, humans do this, but Craig doesn't

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Speaker 1: because Craig's fucking outstanding. Craig's a dickhead and insecure. By

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Speaker 1: the way, please love me, still an only child. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that's like I and I've spoken about this

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Speaker 1: before when I went through a stage where I owned

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Speaker 1: three gyms at the time, I was in my early thirties,

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Speaker 1: and I went through a period of about a year

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Speaker 1: where I was just eating like a fucking maniac, even

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Speaker 1: though I was educated, even though I was knowledgeable, even

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Speaker 1: though I was helping people get in shape, even though

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Speaker 1: I was working with elite teams and athletes, even though

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Speaker 1: I knew what to do. It was like I was

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Speaker 1: an alcoholic who picked up booze again and I just

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Speaker 1: opened the door and I just gained thirty kilos. You know,

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Speaker 1: think about this. This is just a little aside. So

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Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I've got a fair bit of muscle.

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Speaker 1: I weighed seventy nine. I weighed myself this morning, seventy nine.

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Speaker 1: And when I was in that phase there, I weighed

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Speaker 1: one one seven tiff thirty eight kilos. Well, you know

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Speaker 1: how big Brad is, you know, six foot four fucking

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Speaker 1: bigger than me, bigger than He's about that, right, So

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Speaker 1: I was, yeah, and I just my solution was done,

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Speaker 1: change the way you eat. Get a bigger tracksuit, bro,

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Speaker 1: you know, get some, get them, get some. You know,

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Speaker 1: don't wear a singlet because you look like a fucking

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Speaker 1: potato in a training out. So just get yourself some big, baggy,

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Speaker 1: pucking hoodies. And yeah, it's but I think that, I

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Speaker 1: think that, and this is hard to do. But you know,

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Speaker 1: over time, when we just really own up to our bullshit,

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Speaker 1: and it takes a while to get ready, you know,

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Speaker 1: because sometimes it's you know, you don't want to be embarrassed,

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Speaker 1: you don't want to be humiliated. I get it. But

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Speaker 1: it's like, but is it true though, Craig did you?

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Speaker 1: Were you telling people to do one thing and behind

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Speaker 1: closed doors doing another? Yeah? I was, I was right.

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Speaker 1: But what makes me more comfortable to say this is one,

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Speaker 1: it's true, and it aligns with one of my values

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Speaker 1: to be as authentic as I can without being inappropriate.

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Speaker 1: And two, I've worked with tens of thousands of people

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Speaker 1: one on one in this process of physical, emotional, psychological change,

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Speaker 1: and virtually everyone lies about something at some stage. The

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Speaker 1: amount of people who for my at least the first

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Speaker 1: twenty years of my pteen career, all of my clients

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Speaker 1: would fill out diaries in the old days before apps,

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Speaker 1: so either like a spiral bound book, like a page

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Speaker 1: by page diary which would have food, exercise, sleep, you know, coffee, tea, booze, water, supplements,

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Speaker 1: you know, medication, blah blah blah. So they'd record everything

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Speaker 1: that would have some kind of impact on the outcome.

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Speaker 1: I would say ninety percent of my clients lied. Not

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Speaker 1: all the time, but I would look at what was

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Speaker 1: in that fucking book and I'd look at them. I'm like, hey, Pinocchio,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck is this? This is not what you're eating?

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Speaker 1: I go, are you promising me? And they'd look at me.

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Speaker 1: I go, look in my fucking eyes and promise me

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Speaker 1: that this is what you are eating and there's nothing else.

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Speaker 1: And they couldn't because they knew that, because they would

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Speaker 1: write what they thought I wanted to hear or read.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what I want is the truth, because when

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Speaker 1: we deal with the truth, then we can create a

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Speaker 1: real plan and a real strategy. But when I'm training

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Speaker 1: you and I'm doing everything that I can do for you,

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Speaker 1: and then you're not losing weight or fat and you're

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Speaker 1: shrugging your shoulders and saying, but I'm eating perfectly when

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Speaker 1: you're not, Then what you're trying to do is make

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Speaker 1: it my fault, not yours.

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Speaker 2: It's a very funny process, isn't it like that when

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Speaker 2: you think about that process. I remember my nutritionists. She's

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Speaker 2: one of my best mates. I literally just went and

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Speaker 2: had coffee with her, and years ago I got her

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Speaker 2: I did a food diary I wanted to gain weight

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Speaker 2: for boxing, and I showed her the diary and she goes, wow,

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Speaker 2: this is very very detailed. I'm like, do not. She goes, no,

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Speaker 2: people lie. I'm like, who pays for a nutritionist and

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Speaker 2: then tells lies? You don't? How do you get there?

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Speaker 2: How do you get the information you need if you're

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Speaker 2: lying about what's happening? This is a funny process to go. Well,

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Speaker 2: obviously already in then in your mind you have to

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Speaker 2: go to yourself, well, don't you already have some answers

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Speaker 2: if you address those first and then just showed up

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Speaker 2: with what you say you're already doing, and then you

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Speaker 2: might already have a result happening.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember my story about the doctor that I

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Speaker 1: used to train in the ice cream No, no, okay,

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Speaker 1: so this is a true story, and nobody knows who

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Speaker 1: this person is, right, so it doesn't matter. And I'm

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Speaker 1: pretty sure this person is not a doctor anymore. So

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Speaker 1: I was about twenty eight, so i'd been working in

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Speaker 1: gyms for ten years. So I didn't know everything, of course,

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Speaker 1: but I knew a fair bit. I trained a lot

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Speaker 1: of people, maybe I was thirty and so I used

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Speaker 1: to train this GP a lady, and she was quite

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Speaker 1: what's the word at the start. We ended up with

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Speaker 1: a really good relationship, but at the start quite challenging

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Speaker 1: and quite By the time she got to me, she'd

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Speaker 1: tried a bunch of thems, she'd had a dietitian, and

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Speaker 1: she'd had another trainer before me, even though there weren't

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Speaker 1: many trainers around then, and she'd I don't know, she'd

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Speaker 1: done all this stuff, and I'm like, well, what happened

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Speaker 1: with all that? And she goes, none of it worked.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, none of it worked? Like it didn't work.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, that's interesting. So anyway, she didn't want to

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Speaker 1: fill out a diary because I think she thought, you know,

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Speaker 1: by the way. She just saw me as a glorified

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Speaker 1: gym instructor, which was fair, and she was a medical

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Speaker 1: doctor with a six year degree, so what the fuck

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Speaker 1: would the buff ed with the big arms? No, right,

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Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm like, okay, So I convinced her to well,

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Speaker 1: I made that a condition because I was already busy,

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Speaker 1: and I said, I'm not going to train you if

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Speaker 1: you don't fill it out, because you know all the shit.

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Speaker 1: I you say, you see me three times a week,

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Speaker 1: so you're not with me for one hundred and sixty

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Speaker 1: five of the one sixty eight so most of the

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Speaker 1: time you're not with me. And all of the things

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Speaker 1: that you do when you're not here, you know, incidental

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Speaker 1: occupational activity, supplements, food, sleep, booze, socializing, all of those

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Speaker 1: things have an influence on the outcome, not just three

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Speaker 1: workouts with me, so just to give me insights, so

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Speaker 1: that blah blah blah, all the shit, right. So I

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Speaker 1: started training her, and I was training her well. I

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Speaker 1: was training her as well as I could with my resources,

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Speaker 1: skill knowledge. I was training and I really fucking tried

427
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 1: hard because she was a doctor and I was a

428
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 1: bit intimidated. And six months in six weeks into it,

429
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 1: she had put on a kilo and I kept looking

430
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: at he a diary, which, by the way, you know

431
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 1: when people you can tell they sat in the car, well,

432
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: I can tell they sat in the car sixty seconds

433
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 1: before they walked in the door, and just scribbled some

434
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 1: stuff in the book like it's not real. And I

435
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,120
Speaker 1: used to look at it. I'm like, I know she's lying.

436
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: I know this is not real. And then I thought,

437
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,640
Speaker 1: I'm to give it a few weeks. And then over

438
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 1: six weeks she got fitter and she got stronger. But

439
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 1: and maybe the one kilo was maybe it was a

440
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,160
Speaker 1: bit of muscle, or maybe it was a bit of fluid.

441
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: But anyway, the bottom line was there was very little progress,

442
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 1: next to no progress other than the strength and fitness.

443
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 1: But her main reason she was there in her words.

444
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,880
Speaker 1: I won't say what her words were because someone will

445
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,399
Speaker 1: find a reason to get mad at me, but it

446
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: had you know, she didn't want to be an fat doctor.

447
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: That's what she said to me, right, And I'm like, okay, cool.

448
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 1: And then so we're going back. I'm like, are you

449
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 1: sure and she's like, yep, don't question me. And Aaron

450
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 1: may are you I'm like, all right, anyway, one day,

451
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is bullshit and this is going backwards.

452
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,879
Speaker 1: And so she gave me a diary and I got it.

453
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: I said, I just want to have a chat with you.

454
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: And she was really straight away on the defense and

455
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,719
Speaker 1: she's like, what about. I'm like, well, I don't want

456
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: to have the chat here. Well we can have it here.

457
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 1: What about? And I'm like, oh god. You know when

458
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 1: people are like that, You're like, I'm on your I'm

459
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 1: on your side. Do you know what I want? I

460
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 1: want you to get in shape, you know what I

461
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 1: want to help you, you know what I want to

462
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: understand you. So anyway, I go in in a rare

463
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 1: moment of fucking courage, I said to her, I said,

464
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 1: this might be the start of something great, or this

465
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: might be our last session. I said, And you can

466
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 1: get mad at me, and you can whatever you want.

467
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 1: I said, but I know that what you're putting in

468
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 1: this diary is not what you're eating. I said, I know,

469
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 1: absolutely no. And I said I know because even by then,

470
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 1: i'd work with over a thousand people. And I said,

471
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 1: I've worked with whatever a thousand people. And I go,

472
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 1: you know, because you're the one doing it, and I

473
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 1: know the only thing that's not happening is you won't

474
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 1: tell me the truth. Now, I'm not mad at you.

475
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: I'm not disappointed in you. I'm not judging you. I

476
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 1: just want to fucking help you. But I can't help

477
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 1: you really on this psychological, emotional and physiological journey if

478
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: you can't acknowledge what you actually do. And then there

479
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: was a bit of defiance, and anyway, the flood of

480
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:19,119
Speaker 1: tears came, this flood of tears, and I said, just

481
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 1: tell me what you do and then I can work

482
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 1: with you. And I said, by the way, I've got

483
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: all the fucking food issues and all of this and

484
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: the body image and body dysmorphia and shit self. I go,

485
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 1: I get it. I get it academically and scientifically, and

486
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 1: I get it experientially. I just want to help, right Anyway,

487
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 1: one of the things that she and she would eat

488
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: nothing all day, which is quite very little all day,

489
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,199
Speaker 1: and that would be true. You know, she'd get up

490
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: and have a coffee and she's like, I'm going to

491
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 1: be so good today. Then she would get home after

492
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 1: work stressed and neat a lot of food. And then

493
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 1: when her kids and husband would go to bed. She

494
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: would often drive to the supermarket at like nine or

495
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: nine point thirty and get two Leaders of ice cream

496
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: and sit in the car. She'd take a spoon and

497
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 1: she'd sit in the car and eat two Leaders of

498
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 1: ice cream and then drive home crying. And I'm like, okay,

499
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,200
Speaker 1: like there's no like, I'm like, thank you, thank you

500
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,400
Speaker 1: for being honest. I go, now that we know what's

501
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: going on, I go, No one else's you know, and

502
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 1: no one knows who she is. But I go, we

503
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 1: can deal with it. And I said, that's all I want.

504
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 1: That's all I want because now I know and I

505
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 1: can talk to you about that. And by the way,

506
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: have I made one thousand million stupid choices around food? Yes,

507
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: I have the way. I understand that emotional and psychological

508
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 1: urge to numb out with food. Fuck. Yes, I'm the

509
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: chairman of the club, right. But that's one of those things, Tiff,

510
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 1: is where somebody's got to go, Okay, I'm part of

511
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 1: the problem.

512
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 2: And well, also I think, why do we carry so

513
00:28:58,400 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 2: much shame?

514
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:00,080
Speaker 1: And and.

515
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 2: I would say ownership, but I know we have ownership.

516
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 2: But also we've got these biological bodies that respond to things.

517
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 2: We've got this layer of unconscious psychology that's running running programs,

518
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 2: and then we have behaviors that happen, and then from

519
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 2: the outside we look in at ourselves and we hold

520
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: shame and we hate on ourselves and doing that when

521
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 2: we can't fix anything, if we can't be a little

522
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 2: bit compassionate about you know what, I've got this ship behavior.

523
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: I have it a lot all of the time. I

524
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 2: eat too much junk at times, and sometimes I'm really

525
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 2: impulsive with it, and I go, fuck, that's a that's frustrating.

526
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 2: I wish I wouldn't do that. But also, ah, there's

527
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 2: I have to find the reason I do. That's the

528
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 2: what's that behavior? About? What triggers? That's it? That's just

529
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 2: a curious thing to ask. And I don't have to

530
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: hate me about it. I can hate me a little

531
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 2: bit sometimes because fucking I do you know? I do

532
00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 2: ride that bus every now and then. But just think

533
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 2: we have so much, so much unnecessary shame around the

534
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 2: stuff we haven't explored in our own mind and body.

535
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 1: Correct, great, great, beautiful summary. And one the shame is

536
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: understandable because we live in a culture that lends itself

537
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: to that, you know, fat shaming, et cetera. Right, and

538
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 1: you know I was the kid who got called jumbo.

539
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 1: I basically my name was my fat body, right, So

540
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 1: I get it. But you know, but also we can

541
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 1: have that awareness of I'm making bad decisions and doing

542
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: things which are at odds with my own health. That's

543
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 1: we can have that awareness without having without having the

544
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: self loathing. It's like I do do this, not like

545
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 1: I'm a useless fuck with I'm no good, I'm this

546
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 1: no one can ever love me, you know all that,

547
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 1: but just being able to acknowledge, like you can't change

548
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: what you can't acknowledge, you know, like whether or not

549
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: you know, like I had to realize I had to

550
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: learn like, for example, when I started my PhD. Oh,

551
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 1: I can't sit like say Melissa, unlessa can sit for

552
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 1: an hour looking at something that's not that fucking interesting

553
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 1: and stay captivated and look because she I'm like a

554
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: dog with three dicks. I'm eight minutes in, I'm thinking

555
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: about lunch. I'm like no especially, so I needed to

556
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 1: figure out, all right, how do I read academic journals

557
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: and papers in a way that works for me, and

558
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,480
Speaker 1: the way that worked for me Initially, and this sounds

559
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 1: fucking hilarious, is five minutes five minutes I just started,

560
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 1: I go five minutes. I literally put my clock down.

561
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,760
Speaker 1: I'd set a five minute alarm and then I'd read

562
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: and go off. Then I'd fuck around five minutes. Then

563
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: I'd come back and sometimes fuck around fifteen minutes, come back, right.

564
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 1: But eventually I got to the point where like, now

565
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 1: I can I think also because I understand what I'm

566
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: reading better and my language is better, and my my

567
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 1: you know, I've evolved somewhat, and my academic I guess

568
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 1: resilience has evolved, but you know it's still for me.

569
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: Half hour is like I'm tapping out, you know. But

570
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 1: then if it's something creative and something fun and something

571
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: that I'm just fucking making up and writing and conceptualizing,

572
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 1: and I could go down a rabbit hole for four

573
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 1: hours and it feels like twenty minutes. But either way,

574
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: you need to realize, Okay, well I need to get

575
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 1: this research done or this study done or this so

576
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 1: how do I do it? Like how Melissa does it

577
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 1: or how Tiff does it? That doesn't work for me,

578
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: And like even you and I have spoken because you're

579
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 1: more a pro academic than an academic, which is not

580
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: to say you're not intelligent. You're intelligent, but your intelligence

581
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: and your curiosity and your learn happens in a different

582
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: way to most of the people that I'm doing my

583
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: PhD with, Like they're more what you would call typical academics,

584
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 1: you know, which is not good or bad, if there

585
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 1: is such a thing as a typical, But at that level,

586
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 1: at that PhD level, there's a fair bit of similarity.

587
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: Like they're really fucking good and they're really like in

588
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 1: that little world of research and stuff. Oh my god,

589
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 1: it's like their natural habitat. I feel like I'm still

590
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 1: the fucking the outlier. Six years later.

591
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 2: Was talking about this just this week, that idea around

592
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 2: what like this we think that knowledge, stuff we know

593
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 2: is our intellect. And there were subjects at school that

594
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 2: I just downright fucked around in and maybe because of

595
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 2: the classroom I was in and the people or the

596
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 2: teacher I didn't resonate with. And so I as an

597
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 2: adult when I moved to Melbourne. If you have passed

598
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 2: me in the street said is Europe and America? Are

599
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 2: they the same place? I couldn't have answered you because

600
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 2: I paid no attention to any geography or any of

601
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:10,840
Speaker 2: that line of study. And then then, even though I

602
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 2: knew that was a choice, eventually that I figured it

603
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: and I was like, well, you just chose not to

604
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 2: pay attention. That doesn't mean you're dumb. You just didn't

605
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 2: You didn't pay attention and learn it. But now when

606
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 2: someone breaches that conversation, broaches that conversation, you feel dumb,

607
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 2: like I thought I was. I was like, you're so dumb.

608
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 2: You don't even know the capital cities of places that

609
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 2: everybody knows.

610
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 1: It's funny, yes, Well, intelligence is one fluid, it's two dynamic,

611
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 1: and it's three. It's a spectrum. So somebody like the

612
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 1: crab that you know everyone. One of my best mates,

613
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 1: my training partner, is at least as intelligent as me,

614
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: maybe I would guess, depending well, maybe more intelligent. And

615
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm a genius anyway, so that's not

616
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 1: a big compliment for him. But he's a guy who

617
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,320
Speaker 1: finished school at year nine. Who you know. But depending

618
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: on the context or the challenge or the problem to

619
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 1: be solved, or the room that we're in, I can

620
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,319
Speaker 1: be a fucking idiot, And he's a genius, and there

621
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 1: are many times where I've had to default to his brain,

622
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 1: like his brain works better with this kind of problem.

623
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: So there are some people who quizzically are very knowledgeable

624
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 1: but not very intelligent. And there are other people who

625
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: don't have vast acquired kind of pigeonholed knowledge that they've done,

626
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:34,399
Speaker 1: that they've acquired over any academic formal process, but rather

627
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 1: they've got a lot of experience and a lot of

628
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 1: innate wisdom and intellect that can help them navigate life

629
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 1: better than the dude or the dude at with nine PhDs.

630
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, or like the ability to problem solve and understand

631
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,920
Speaker 2: or sense make something new. I think about me in maths.

632
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 2: I was a weapon in maths, but I paid no attention.

633
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:58,240
Speaker 2: So I got excellent marks, but I retained no knowledge.

634
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 2: I couldn't tell you now what half mathematical equations are

635
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 2: because it was I'd look at it, get taught that

636
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 2: makes sense, tick tick tick, disrupt the class, and then

637
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 2: you know, a year down the track, I don't know.

638
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,800
Speaker 2: I don't know what that is. I can't remember. So

639
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 2: there's people that can retain knowledge really well, but maybe

640
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 2: it took them a very long time to go over

641
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 2: it and over and over and a lot of hard

642
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 2: work to just ingrain it and get it in, but

643
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:24,439
Speaker 2: it never made sense the same way.

644
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think that, you know, even as grown ups,

645
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 1: we think we're dumb or we think where I think

646
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 1: very few people are stupid, very few. Everybody just has

647
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: different kinds of intelligence. And yeah, Like I've been in

648
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,800
Speaker 1: some weird environments like prisons and stuff where I've worked,

649
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: and you're like, you would think, oh, they're just going

650
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: to be buffheads and bogans, and you know, and you're like,

651
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:58,800
Speaker 1: I know, these these motherfuckers are super smart. They have

652
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 1: figured so many things out, you know, and they're not

653
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,720
Speaker 1: necessarily smart in the way that we think it, although

654
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 1: some of them are, but they've just learned how to

655
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 1: not just survive but thrive in this horrible environment and

656
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 1: how to you know, socially and financially and practically navigate

657
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 1: this system and this culture and this And you're like, Wow,

658
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 1: if you put me in that environment and just threw

659
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 1: away the keys, I'd be fucked in a day and

660
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 1: a half, right, I'll be fucking wearing a dress and

661
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:36,320
Speaker 1: being spooned by some big motherfucker. So you know, that

662
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 1: could be all right, I'm not sure, but you know,

663
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, it's it's it's a it's a kind

664
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,800
Speaker 1: of like Chris, who's my senior supervisor, who you know,

665
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:53,839
Speaker 1: you know he's got he's a professor. He's a full

666
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 1: blown professor at Monash. He's only forty one or two.

667
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 1: He speaks seven languages, he's got two PA and he

668
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:07,439
Speaker 1: is real deal intelligent as well as knowledgeable. But he's

669
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: come to a few my gigs where I'm speaking and

670
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 1: he shakes his head and he's like, I could never

671
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,360
Speaker 1: do that. He's like, how on earth do you do that?

672
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:17,360
Speaker 1: How do you stand up there for three hours with

673
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 1: no notes? You know? How do you read the room?

674
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 1: How do you build rapport? How do you make people laugh?

675
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 1: How do you know what say and what not say?

676
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 1: And obviously you don't get it all perfect, but yeah,

677
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,800
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, yeah, it's it's like i have

678
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 1: a kind of intelligence and skill and knowledge and aptitude

679
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 1: that I've developed over thirty five years of doing the

680
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: same thing or a version of the same thing. So

681
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 1: then you build on your innate ability and capacity, and

682
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 1: you develop lots of knowledge and skill over time, and

683
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 1: then hopefully you get somewhere close to what we colloquially

684
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 1: call mastery, you know, but I would you know, there's

685
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 1: not many things that I'm very good at. You know,

686
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: I'm pretty good at a few things. Okay at some stuff,

687
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 1: and shit ouse at most, you know, so, but it's

688
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 1: just that thinking about, like, in terms of what I

689
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 1: want to achieve, even back to the new year, this year,

690
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 1: what do I need to get better at this year?

691
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 1: Like what what if I could just pick one thing

692
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: that I need to do better and maybe conversely, one

693
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 1: thing that I should stop doing. What would those two

694
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 1: things be?

695
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 2: You know what would they be?

696
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 1: Well? For me? One hundred percent And this is so cliche,

697
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: but one hundred percent social media, Like I waste so

698
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: much time and I don't even mean scrolling, I mean conceptualizing.

699
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: I might spend an hour and a half conceptualizing one post,

700
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: and I'll write and rewrite and rewrite because I realized

701
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 1: I've got a lot of well it depends on what

702
00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,839
Speaker 1: a lot is, but for me, I've got a lot

703
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 1: of followers on Instagram, where I'm mainly you know, sixty

704
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 1: two and a half thousand or something, and so you

705
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 1: know that if fair people are going to fait. Few

706
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 1: people are going to look at it. And but I'll

707
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 1: write and rewrite and sometimes I'll send it to you

708
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 1: and I'll go any good. You might go yeah, it's

709
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 1: shit or it's great, or it's because I want to

710
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 1: try and get and I send it to Melissa. I

711
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 1: want to try and get someone else's perspective. But I

712
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 1: just spend way too much time on that.

713
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 2: But I think the nature of that, so you can

714
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,359
Speaker 2: look at it that and go, yeah, that's a lot

715
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,800
Speaker 2: of time for a bloody social media post, bro, But

716
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,320
Speaker 2: the nature of how you are doing that is a

717
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 2: part of you developing your mind and your understanding of

718
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 2: the content you deliver. Overall, You've evolved so much and

719
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 2: so differently, and that's what I see when I see

720
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 2: how you develop your online presence. Now it has changed

721
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 2: how you communicate and how you share messages. So that's

722
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:57,840
Speaker 2: that's productive.

723
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, thank you. Yeah, yeah. Look, I think

724
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 1: as a as a podcaster, as an educator, as a

725
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 1: professional speaker, as whatever else I am, Like, my my

726
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:19,880
Speaker 1: main skill is communication, and then under communication is you know,

727
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:24,720
Speaker 1: building trust and respect and rapport and understanding how people

728
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 1: perceive and experience me, which is my PhD, and then

729
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 1: understanding this moment in time for them right now, is

730
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,760
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about to this group of people making

731
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:40,879
Speaker 1: sense or is it confusing? What level are they at intellectually, academically,

732
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 1: sociologically so that I can share the message in a

733
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:47,720
Speaker 1: way which is optimal for them in terms of value.

734
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 1: You know. So if I talk to a bunch of

735
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,320
Speaker 1: you know, blokes on a construction site, or blokes and

736
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 1: women on a construction site, and I talk to them

737
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 1: like their PhD students, that won't work. And again it's

738
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 1: not that they're dumb, it's that they're different. They're smart

739
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: in a different kind of way. Conversely, if I talk

740
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 1: to at Brain Park, Monash, where I'm studying, if I

741
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 1: go into the boardroom and I talk to them like

742
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 1: they're all fucking builders laborers, that won't work either, especially

743
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:18,719
Speaker 1: when I say count the first three times, so you know,

744
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: like it's like, but the funny thing is you can

745
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: be sharing essentially the same message. Like I've told this

746
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: story probably ten times, but literally ten years ago now

747
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: it would have been I spoke in two days in

748
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 1: a row. I spoke at Port Phillip Prison on one

749
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 1: day and the next day I spoke at the Royal

750
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: Australian College of Surgeons. So I spoke to three hundred

751
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: surgeons in a room at Lawn at the Cumberland in Lawn,

752
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 1: and the day before I was talking to violent criminals.

753
00:42:55,440 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 1: And but on both occasions I was trying to help

754
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 1: them to help themselves. How do we think better, do better?

755
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 1: Be better? What's working, what's not. There's similar themes, but

756
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:10,800
Speaker 1: the style and the language and the energy and the

757
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: delivery were nothing alike because the group was nothing alike.

758
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:20,720
Speaker 2: You know, even just preparing for that, like the energy

759
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 2: you bring into that space dictates how they respond. So

760
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,919
Speaker 2: having an awareness on even just that component, I think

761
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 2: is I feel like that the time I'm at now

762
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:35,319
Speaker 2: when it comes to speaking is going on now when

763
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 2: I speak, it's not it's not familiar rooms or familiar environments.

764
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 2: And that is a really new variable because in the

765
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 2: past everything's come from networking or relationships that I already

766
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 2: had so comfortable, and now I'm like, oh, there's I

767
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 2: don't get that luxury anymore. And then there's a there's

768
00:43:56,400 --> 00:44:00,320
Speaker 2: no expectation that I'm familiar with that they might have

769
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 2: of me. And who I am and how I am.

770
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 1: That's hard, yes, yeah, but imagine this. I said to you, Haytiv,

771
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 1: can you do me a favor. My friend's kid is

772
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 1: in grade six down the road. It's thirty grade six.

773
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,360
Speaker 1: Is they just want someone to talk to them for

774
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:22,879
Speaker 1: thirty minutes about health and fitness, just whatever you want.

775
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,880
Speaker 1: They're all eleven and twelve. Health fitness like a bit

776
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: of fun, a bit of whatever. You would go in there,

777
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,359
Speaker 1: you would crush it. You'd talk for thirty minutes. You'd

778
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 1: think about who they are and how they are and

779
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 1: the right language and the right level of messaging, and

780
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 1: you do it. Now, I could give you the same directive,

781
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:44,359
Speaker 1: but say it's to a bunch of eighty year olds

782
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: in a nursing home. But I want you to talk

783
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 1: about essentially the same stuff. So immediately you're going to

784
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 1: communicate differently, plan differently, and the examples or stories or

785
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 1: language or cadence all going to vary. And you will

786
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 1: do that without thinking, like you won't go, oh, I

787
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 1: bet make sure I don't talk to them like they're

788
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 1: twelve year olds. You just get in and you do it.

789
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 1: So this is you know, it's like when you talk

790
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: to a three year old who runs up to you

791
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 1: and you go, oh, hello, what's your Oh what's that?

792
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,839
Speaker 1: That's a big boat? Oh my wow? Kind of boat

793
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,839
Speaker 1: is that? But imagine saying that to a twenty four

794
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 1: year old. It's like, what the fuck are you doing?

795
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 1: You know? Imagine if I went up to a blokeout

796
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:35,880
Speaker 1: in the front of the Hampton's who was on a motorbike,

797
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 1: and I went, oh, hello, what's your name. That's a

798
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: big motorbike. That's a big throubber between your legs. Look

799
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 1: at you. Oh sure, name Barry. Hello Barry, what a

800
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:47,399
Speaker 1: big motorbike you've got.

801
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:51,600
Speaker 2: You know, I just had the You just reminded me

802
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 2: when I went for coffee with my friend was up

803
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 2: with Mara and Beane, and I was walking up the

804
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 2: roads of the Sunshine. It's beautiful, the sky is blue,

805
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 2: it's amazing. And then this old man was walking towards

806
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 2: me and he stopped and he goes, I just want

807
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 2: to say to you. So I stopped and listened.

808
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 1: He's yes, yes, I want.

809
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 2: You to have a beautiful day. And I was like, oh, thanks,

810
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 2: And then I spent five minutes or so. He goes,

811
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 2: I just love talking to strangers and I love making

812
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 2: people laugh. And he told me some jokes and then

813
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 2: I gave him a hug, and I like, I was

814
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 2: so lovely. I don't know what made me think of that.

815
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 1: I should have done you should have got his number

816
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:36,759
Speaker 1: and taken him out to a movie. I'm kidding about that.

817
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,320
Speaker 1: I was going to say something much more hilarious, but when.

818
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 2: It was so nice, right, like he goes, there's so

819
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 2: much bad news and there's never good news, and there's

820
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 2: a lot of good people around, and I was like,

821
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 2: you what fucking lovely dude.

822
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,319
Speaker 1: Bless that old dude. Well, it's been a fun chat

823
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 1: Tiffany and Cooks, followers, friends, typ family. I hope you

824
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:08,759
Speaker 1: have a great year. Reach out to us if there's

825
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 1: something that We've got a whole bunch of guests. This

826
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 1: year is going to be I would like to say

827
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: an improvement on last year. I don't think last year

828
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:21,440
Speaker 1: was terrible, but last year, twenty twenty five was a very,

829
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:25,360
Speaker 1: very busy year for me, and I don't think I

830
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 1: did my best work. I think I did some okay

831
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: work regarding the podcast. My intention this year is I'm

832
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 1: not sure how many we're going to do per week

833
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 1: just FYI. Some weeks it'll be seven, some weeks it'll

834
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 1: be four or five. But I really want to get

835
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 1: some great people, some new people, have some great interviews,

836
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 1: have some different conversations. I know we're always circling around

837
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,280
Speaker 1: personal growth and development and self help and human behavior

838
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 1: and self optimization. I get that. But if you've got

839
00:47:56,560 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: any suggestions, and not your brother in law who's a

840
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 1: fucking trainer in Epping, we don't want him. But if

841
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 1: you've got any suggestions for guests or shout out to

842
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: all our trainers in all topics or conversations you would

843
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: like us to have, just hit us up on the

844
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 1: Facebook page. If you're not a member of that, come on, bro, Sophine,

845
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 1: get the fuck on do You Project Podcast Facebook page.

846
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 1: It's been real Tiff, good to see you again. Oh

847
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:31,920
Speaker 1: just a quickie. Are we still in love? Or have

848
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:35,760
Speaker 1: you ditched him? Sorry? I almost got through the whole party.

849
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 1: You can cut this out though.

850
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 2: Still going strong, has still going strong? Thank you very much?

851
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Speaker 1: Right, have no, I'll leave it at that. That's that's

852
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: what I won't even know. So many funny things I

853
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 1: could say for the benefits of the listeners, I'll refrain.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: We'll talk off here, but thanks. It's been real