1
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:13,399
Speaker 1: Hey, chicks, I'm sore and I'm out, and this is

2
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,360
Speaker 1: two broke chicks to show that shares life lessons and

3
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,160
Speaker 1: tips to help make you rich in life. And today

4
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:22,080
Speaker 1: we're in for a very sexy time because we're joined

5
00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:25,360
Speaker 1: by Alex, a sex relationship and body image therapist behind

6
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:26,400
Speaker 1: the Pleasure Center.

7
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:26,960
Speaker 2: Welcome.

8
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,280
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me, angels.

9
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,159
Speaker 2: I'm so excited. I feel like this has been a

10
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:36,360
Speaker 2: long time coming. Pun In Tender Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.

11
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:36,880
Speaker 3: I was on the spot.

12
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,400
Speaker 1: You would be getting those jokes all the time from people.

13
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,160
Speaker 1: I'm sure I love them fast time.

14
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,200
Speaker 3: I've never heard that joke before.

15
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,920
Speaker 4: You are so intelligent and funny, beautiful and smart.

16
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,120
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is going to be the whole episode.

17
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,600
Speaker 2: A wrap it there, that's all we needed.

18
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, we like to start with a life lesson of

19
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,280
Speaker 1: the week, so it can be small, big, silly, serious.

20
00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:58,560
Speaker 2: What have you got for us?

21
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,440
Speaker 3: A life lesson for me so far?

22
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,760
Speaker 4: Don't waste your time with people that don't make you

23
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,000
Speaker 4: feel really good about yourself.

24
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,240
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm thirty three and in my twenties.

25
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,400
Speaker 4: You have all these like different friends, different partners, different experiences,

26
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,760
Speaker 4: and sometimes you like hold on to people that you're like,

27
00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:15,880
Speaker 4: oh no, but we've been friends for a while. But

28
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,160
Speaker 4: it's like so natural to outgrow. People go through friendship breakups,

29
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,840
Speaker 4: relationship breakups, and I think now that I'm thirty three,

30
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,120
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, no, Like even with like body image things,

31
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,880
Speaker 4: It's like, I would never allow someone in my life

32
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,960
Speaker 4: who like makes comments on bodies or like has attitudes

33
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,360
Speaker 4: around bodies that I don't.

34
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,600
Speaker 3: Align with or don't want around me.

35
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,720
Speaker 4: And I really feel like it's completely changed my life

36
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,360
Speaker 4: to just be like the people around me make me

37
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,280
Speaker 4: feel so happy and alive.

38
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,240
Speaker 3: You know what I mean. Yeah, and that's been a

39
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:46,360
Speaker 3: really nice life lesson.

40
00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:48,200
Speaker 2: Shed the dead weight.

41
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,520
Speaker 5: You know for it?

42
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:53,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.

43
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,080
Speaker 1: My life lesson of the wake is something that I

44
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,200
Speaker 1: saw from letterbox.

45
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,240
Speaker 2: Of this page recently.

46
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,560
Speaker 5: I remember how I didn't know what it was and

47
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,480
Speaker 5: you and gen were like, what are our best friends?

48
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,440
Speaker 2: And she was like, we were like what the fuck?

49
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:08,000
Speaker 2: I love it.

50
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:08,480
Speaker 5: Yeah.

51
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,480
Speaker 1: It's basically like good Reads for movies if any of

52
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,280
Speaker 1: the chicks aren't familiar, But they released a list that

53
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:18,080
Speaker 1: is the top one hundred films with the most fans

54
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:23,720
Speaker 1: on letterboxed with the pronoun she so these are girl Yeah.

55
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,400
Speaker 3: These girlies be watching movies.

56
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,359
Speaker 5: Yes, guesses go I think how to Lose a Guy

57
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,000
Speaker 5: in ten Days.

58
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,639
Speaker 3: Oh, that's a really good guess. And I see the

59
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,360
Speaker 3: worst product. Devil Wears Prata.

60
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,639
Speaker 2: That's got the top ten here movies with the biggest fan.

61
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:43,440
Speaker 5: Potanic okay, well the Notebook, Okay, interesting you go.

62
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:47,360
Speaker 2: Number ten Call Me by Your Name? Oh, I know,

63
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,560
Speaker 2: I was kind of surprised by that.

64
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:53,480
Speaker 1: Yep. Nine the perks are Being a Wallflower, which I

65
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,880
Speaker 1: loved the book, and I did love.

66
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,880
Speaker 2: The movie when it first came out. I was surprised, Coraline,

67
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:00,799
Speaker 2: I want to watch that.

68
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:02,399
Speaker 3: I've never seen it.

69
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, may neither.

70
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,800
Speaker 1: Number seven Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

71
00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:09,720
Speaker 2: That's one of my three favorite movies ever.

72
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,520
Speaker 1: This one I was really surprised to see in the

73
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,400
Speaker 1: girly pop list.

74
00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,040
Speaker 5: Oh god, it's going to be like the Dark Knight

75
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,960
Speaker 5: of American Psycho or like fucking Wolf of wall Street.

76
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,120
Speaker 3: It's parallel, okay.

77
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:25,799
Speaker 1: Number six Interstellar, you know what, that's okay, it slaps.

78
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:30,480
Speaker 3: It's a great movie. Are yeah, incredible score.

79
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like it's in the Venn diagram. I think

80
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,600
Speaker 1: like that is definitely in the top ten for the

81
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:40,600
Speaker 1: men out there, yea sure. Number five Pride and Prejudice,

82
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,080
Speaker 1: of course.

83
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:46,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, just the fifth yeah, yeah, the Diabolical. I've never

84
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,640
Speaker 3: seen it. Good, I know, but I've been saving it.

85
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,400
Speaker 3: I've been saving it.

86
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:52,440
Speaker 2: It's so good.

87
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 1: Number four ten Things I Hate about You.

88
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:03,080
Speaker 3: I was gonna say that. He that is.

89
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:08,760
Speaker 1: I just got goosebumps. It's so good. Number three Little Women.

90
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:18,279
Speaker 4: Oh talking, Okay, that brilliant movie anything very talented.

91
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, So now we're a number two and number one.

92
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,120
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I reckon, we fuck this? I think

93
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:23,560
Speaker 5: we did.

94
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,720
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have picked either of these. Number two La

95
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:31,719
Speaker 2: la land what I know. I haven't seen it, okay, yeah,

96
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:32,839
Speaker 2: I would never have guessed.

97
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,360
Speaker 1: And number one, which I never would have picked, but

98
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,279
Speaker 1: makes so much sense and almost makes me want to

99
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,680
Speaker 1: cry dead poet society.

100
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:46,720
Speaker 4: Oh that touches a spot in.

101
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,919
Speaker 1: My heart, same moies, Why be so sad?

102
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,960
Speaker 4: So don't you think that speaks to such a larger

103
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,520
Speaker 4: like sense of what women connect to, which is like

104
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:03,359
Speaker 4: this society telling us all to like conform. Yeah, but

105
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,120
Speaker 4: then like everyone desperately relating to that sense of like,

106
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:08,880
Speaker 4: I don't want to have to do that, Like, it's

107
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,000
Speaker 4: such a page.

108
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,080
Speaker 1: You could say that about so many of those films

109
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,240
Speaker 1: like Call You by Your Name, Perks Are Being a Wallflower,

110
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,599
Speaker 1: Eternal Sunshine, Ten Things ate about you Dead Poets, like

111
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:21,119
Speaker 1: my favorite quote from that movie that like, every time

112
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,280
Speaker 1: I remember it, I'm like.

113
00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:27,360
Speaker 5: Is medicine, law, business, engineering, those and noble pursuits and

114
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:32,360
Speaker 5: necessary to sustain life? But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these

115
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:38,039
Speaker 5: are what we stay alive for. Oh and it was

116
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,440
Speaker 5: Robin fucking Williams who said that my life lesson is

117
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:46,880
Speaker 5: to start the side hustle, because this year I started

118
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:50,920
Speaker 5: the Basic Bitch Book Club and it was very much

119
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,000
Speaker 5: just like a fun little side project, passion project.

120
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was just like I did not expect it

121
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:57,760
Speaker 2: to be a thing.

122
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,479
Speaker 5: It was just like I love talking about books, mainly

123
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,880
Speaker 5: like my small Romanticy, which I know you're a fan of,

124
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,400
Speaker 5: which is why I was like, I'll bring this to

125
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:07,400
Speaker 5: the to the EPP And this week. In one week,

126
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,240
Speaker 5: I hosted an event with Nude by Nature for a

127
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,440
Speaker 5: book Confessions That Make You Blush Event for the launch

128
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,360
Speaker 5: of their new dewy Sirum Blush, And it was just

129
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,520
Speaker 5: so fun, like hanging out with a bunch of chicks

130
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,640
Speaker 5: who are all just like little horny shelas, like talking

131
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:26,599
Speaker 5: about books. And then I also interviewed Callie Hart, the

132
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:31,719
Speaker 5: author of Quicksilver. Oh way, that's amazing, I know, come

133
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:36,200
Speaker 5: out today. It came out today, yes, And we talked

134
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:41,200
Speaker 5: about like Kingfisher, Quicksilver, Brimstone two. We talked about you know,

135
00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:44,560
Speaker 5: fan theories, whether or not she's scared of killing off characters,

136
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:48,840
Speaker 5: like and just the whole time, like I wasn't nervous

137
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,800
Speaker 5: at all, Like the whole interview. I was just so

138
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,760
Speaker 5: excited and happy to be there. I just couldn't believe

139
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,599
Speaker 5: that that was my life. And I was just like,

140
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,960
Speaker 5: oh my god, this wouldn't have happened if I didn't

141
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,440
Speaker 5: start this silly little thing that like, you know, five

142
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,760
Speaker 5: years ago, I probably would have been not five years ago,

143
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,359
Speaker 5: maybe like ten years ago, would have been embarrassed to

144
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:11,600
Speaker 5: talk about, you know, like I love how much women's

145
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:16,560
Speaker 5: pleasure and romance and sexuality has become a forefront in

146
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:20,280
Speaker 5: these romance and fantasy books and smart books, if you

147
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,160
Speaker 5: want to call them that. Then I'm just like I'm obsessed,

148
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,520
Speaker 5: and I'm just Yeah, it was the best.

149
00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:26,880
Speaker 3: Wow, proud of you.

150
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:33,600
Speaker 2: I was very happy first Kelly Harden, next everyone.

151
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,720
Speaker 1: This is like within less than a year of launching,

152
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,160
Speaker 1: so it's just the beginning.

153
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, so good.

154
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,000
Speaker 5: And like I also interviewed like the cast of Regretting You,

155
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,120
Speaker 5: like McKenna Grace and Mason Tames, and I.

156
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,400
Speaker 2: Was like, what the fuck is going on?

157
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,760
Speaker 5: And I'm so uncool on these Like I get on

158
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:54,360
Speaker 5: and I'm like, because I'm maybe more nervous or excited,

159
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,920
Speaker 5: your brain doesn't know the difference. So I'm going to

160
00:07:55,960 --> 00:08:00,200
Speaker 5: say it's excited. I like just go full Alex, Like

161
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:04,360
Speaker 5: there's no professionally, I'm not like I can't rain myself in.

162
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:06,280
Speaker 2: I'm like all emotion of being.

163
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,360
Speaker 3: Like, Hi, like I appreciate that.

164
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,040
Speaker 1: I appreciate people who are excited about the projects so

165
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:15,000
Speaker 1: they're working on and you know, aren't necessarily like fanning

166
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,040
Speaker 1: over them to the point of like, oh no, I

167
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:21,400
Speaker 1: am being yourself and having a real conversation, being authentic,

168
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:25,320
Speaker 1: and I think authenticity gets you places, you know, So

169
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,600
Speaker 1: it's just a reflection of an energy you bring.

170
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,760
Speaker 3: And I'm so like exciting.

171
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,320
Speaker 4: I've read fantasy my whole life and so when I

172
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:38,040
Speaker 4: discovered romanticy, I was like, oh, it's like, yeah, she'd

173
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:42,200
Speaker 4: probably also read some things and be like that's not correct, Like.

174
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,680
Speaker 2: They're tiktoks of some people.

175
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,360
Speaker 5: And it's like I think it was a Fourth Wing

176
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:48,880
Speaker 5: scene when she was on the throne and he was

177
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:50,880
Speaker 5: like eating her out or something.

178
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,199
Speaker 2: But they couldn't quite understand, and.

179
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,760
Speaker 3: People was like trying to recreate the I mean like

180
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,160
Speaker 3: that once in an exoment.

181
00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,840
Speaker 2: They're like on a chair being like what.

182
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,240
Speaker 3: And I was like, how does that?

183
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,560
Speaker 2: Don't deep it? Yeah, don't deep it exactly, just enjoy it.

184
00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,920
Speaker 3: Oh, we should do it exactly exactly.

185
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, shall we get into the chat. Let's do

186
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,400
Speaker 2: it all right? To kick us off, can.

187
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:15,080
Speaker 1: You tell us a little bit how you got into this,

188
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,600
Speaker 1: how you got into sex therapy and mental health therapy?

189
00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:18,959
Speaker 3: Sure?

190
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:23,520
Speaker 4: So I have three degrees. I started off in a

191
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,640
Speaker 4: undergraduate degree in psychology. I always knew I wanted to

192
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,680
Speaker 4: work in mental health, but when I started studying that,

193
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,959
Speaker 4: I was like, Wow, this is kind of boring. And

194
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,880
Speaker 4: then I did a career quiz when I was like

195
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,960
Speaker 4: twenty three, being like, who am I?

196
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,440
Speaker 3: What should I do with my life? And it was

197
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,160
Speaker 3: like mental health. I was like, oh damn it. I

198
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,920
Speaker 3: was like, well, in a way, at least I'm on

199
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:44,600
Speaker 3: the right track.

200
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,120
Speaker 4: But it had all these little suggestions in the sidebar,

201
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,160
Speaker 4: being like, here are like sub genres of mental health

202
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,920
Speaker 4: you could do like grief counseling, or like marriage counseling,

203
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:54,880
Speaker 4: or sex therapy.

204
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,280
Speaker 3: And I was like, what the hell is sex therapy?

205
00:09:57,679 --> 00:09:59,560
Speaker 4: And I clicked on it and realized it's literally just

206
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:04,000
Speaker 4: regular talk therapy, but you specifically talk about sex and relationships,

207
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:08,120
Speaker 4: and I was like that sounds amazing. And then I

208
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:13,120
Speaker 4: went and I emailed the only like three sex therapists

209
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,120
Speaker 4: at the time, this was like over ten years ago

210
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,559
Speaker 4: that existed in Sydney, and one of them got back

211
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:18,760
Speaker 4: to me and was like, yep, I'll give you like

212
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,400
Speaker 4: an intern like job. And so I started interning for

213
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,000
Speaker 4: two years while I finished my undergrad and then I

214
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,960
Speaker 4: went to do my master's in counseling, which is where

215
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,320
Speaker 4: I got my mental health like certification. But I wrote

216
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,760
Speaker 4: research in that master's on women's experiences of sexual function

217
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,439
Speaker 4: and like the concerns they have, and then I went

218
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,280
Speaker 4: on to do a postgraduate degree in sexology, which is

219
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,960
Speaker 4: like the actual certification obsessed with you.

220
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,600
Speaker 3: I'm like you being like hard eyes.

221
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:53,760
Speaker 4: Well, but yeah, so essentially, I like love studying and

222
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,959
Speaker 4: I love yapping. So it's just like reading and talking,

223
00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,679
Speaker 4: you know, like it's just my favorite combination throwing some

224
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,000
Speaker 4: food woofed.

225
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,320
Speaker 3: Like yeah, yerious.

226
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,360
Speaker 4: But essentially that's how I kind of got into sex therapy.

227
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,400
Speaker 4: And I just have like fond memories of being like

228
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:14,480
Speaker 4: twenty four and this like sex therapist in her like fifties,

229
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,080
Speaker 4: walked into her office to like file something and she

230
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,600
Speaker 4: just had a giant like anus on the screen and

231
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,480
Speaker 4: it was just like contracting and relaxing.

232
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,840
Speaker 3: And I was like, what are you doing.

233
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,559
Speaker 4: She was like, I'm matching my breath to the anus

234
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,040
Speaker 4: and I was like what.

235
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:28,600
Speaker 3: She's like, come join me.

236
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,200
Speaker 4: So just like sitting there, both of us just going

237
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:36,079
Speaker 4: as this giant anus is just like contracting and relaxing.

238
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:40,600
Speaker 4: She was like, it's very good for your pelvic floor. Girl. Great,

239
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,320
Speaker 4: I learned essentially this should have been my life lesson

240
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,400
Speaker 4: that your anus will like clench if you're like tense

241
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,680
Speaker 4: and the company of people are in certain situations. So

242
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,200
Speaker 4: I do this thing where I like jokingly this is

243
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,440
Speaker 4: to your point of like bringing yourself very authentically to

244
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,839
Speaker 4: your job. I do this in sessions where I just

245
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,320
Speaker 4: tell people they're like, I'm nervous about this date. How

246
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,720
Speaker 4: do I know if I like this person? I go

247
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,080
Speaker 4: check in with your anus.

248
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,640
Speaker 3: What's a little bum hole doing? So if it's clenched,

249
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:08,080
Speaker 3: if you're like clinch, you're probably a little tense. Are

250
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:08,840
Speaker 3: you checking with your.

251
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,079
Speaker 2: I love that.

252
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,480
Speaker 1: Because what's the list of people always say they are like,

253
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,280
Speaker 1: unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, release.

254
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:23,840
Speaker 4: Your Is that there's like some kind of research to

255
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,200
Speaker 4: show for women, the jaw and the pelvic floor are

256
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,079
Speaker 4: very connected in terms of your tents up here. You're

257
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:37,200
Speaker 4: probably tense down there and gool okay time for some

258
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:41,800
Speaker 4: TMJ I know anyway, So that's how I got into

259
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,120
Speaker 4: sex therapy. That is so yeah, And I just loved

260
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,680
Speaker 4: it because I've always been very open when it comes

261
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:51,920
Speaker 4: to bodies and like fascinated by bodies. I love talking

262
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:56,040
Speaker 4: about sex. I've never felt shy, like essentially, I discovered

263
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,200
Speaker 4: like masturbation when I was five years old. I didn't

264
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,800
Speaker 4: know what it was, but I'd like rub up on furniture.

265
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,160
Speaker 2: I think a lot of children have to. That's very universal.

266
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of people do it. But like I

267
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,360
Speaker 3: didn't realize until Audul youhood what it was.

268
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,360
Speaker 4: But at the same time, I was kind of like, oh,

269
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,920
Speaker 4: I've always like been aware of my body and like

270
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,600
Speaker 4: felt quite comfortable with it, and then realized how many

271
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 4: of my girlfriends didn't feel that.

272
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,840
Speaker 3: Way, and I was like, you could totally feel this way.

273
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,760
Speaker 4: It's so nice to feel this way, and it really

274
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:25,000
Speaker 4: helped with sexual relationships. This is partly just being like

275
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,440
Speaker 4: ethnic and like growing up like I'm the eldest daughter,

276
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,680
Speaker 4: I have two younger brothers.

277
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,160
Speaker 3: Like I've just bossed men around.

278
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:33,000
Speaker 4: My whole life, so I just have like never had

279
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,160
Speaker 4: difficulty being like I want it this way, I want

280
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,880
Speaker 4: to do that. And so when I also realized a

281
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:39,800
Speaker 4: lot of people struggled with that, I was like, oh,

282
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,000
Speaker 4: like I want women to feel empowered to do that.

283
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,040
Speaker 3: You know what a gift?

284
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:49,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, Well, speaking of what's the biggest misconception that

285
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,319
Speaker 1: women have about their own pleasure, that.

286
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:56,839
Speaker 3: Is a great question. The biggest misconception that women often

287
00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:00,320
Speaker 3: have about their pleasure is that it's complex. It's not.

288
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that because that is such like a

289
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,680
Speaker 1: thing that in pop culture and whatnot that like, you know,

290
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,280
Speaker 1: men are a button that you press, and then women

291
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:13,240
Speaker 1: it's all these levers and different things, and so it's.

292
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,200
Speaker 3: Like air traffic control. You're all right, coming in, relax.

293
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,839
Speaker 3: It's like, actually, not like that at all.

294
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,120
Speaker 4: And allow me to elaborate on why, because a lot

295
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,120
Speaker 4: of women are like, no, it is because it takes

296
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,400
Speaker 4: so long, and like I get in my head and like,

297
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,120
Speaker 4: actually it is really hard. The thing is is that

298
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,760
Speaker 4: we view pleasure women's pleasure within a framework of how

299
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:37,120
Speaker 4: we understand men's bodies. There is research for centuries on

300
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:42,800
Speaker 4: men's physiology and sexual function. We only started really researching

301
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,600
Speaker 4: and I mean like historically in the nineteenth century, seventy

302
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,400
Speaker 4: percent of research was done on men for like sexual

303
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:54,120
Speaker 4: health stuff. In the nineties we started seriously researching women's

304
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,200
Speaker 4: sex pleasure and function.

305
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,400
Speaker 3: For example, it wasn't until.

306
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:04,440
Speaker 4: Nineteen ninety that's an Australian urologist, doctor Helen.

307
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:10,920
Speaker 3: I think O'Connell legend love you Helen. She fully mapped the.

308
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,680
Speaker 4: Clitterists for the first time to show that it has

309
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:14,920
Speaker 4: an internal structure.

310
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:16,800
Speaker 3: Nineteen ninety eight.

311
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,560
Speaker 4: I was six years old, and then you look at this,

312
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,400
Speaker 4: you go, Okay, if research only happened thirty years ago,

313
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:30,400
Speaker 4: how does that then inform like policy education, curriculums, discourse

314
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,920
Speaker 4: in like public arenas, like media. It takes time for

315
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,120
Speaker 4: that research to reach us in like classrooms or wherever

316
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,240
Speaker 4: in the bedroom.

317
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:39,880
Speaker 3: So I grew up with no.

318
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:43,120
Speaker 4: Anatomy education around the internal parts of the clitterists. I

319
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 4: learned about the clitterists when I studied the clitorists.

320
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, in my mid twenties.

321
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,480
Speaker 4: Like when I'm walking into this sex therapist's office and

322
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,720
Speaker 4: she's got an anus on the screen and this model

323
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,520
Speaker 4: of a clitterists, and I'm like, what's that And she's like,

324
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:56,400
Speaker 4: that's your clitterists.

325
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,760
Speaker 3: I was like what, Like yeah, because I don't know,

326
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,480
Speaker 3: I did a piece. You think it's a little fun.

327
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,880
Speaker 4: So the point being is that your pleasure isn't complex.

328
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 4: It's just heavily under researched, and therefore we don't have

329
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:12,440
Speaker 4: enough information to then have conversations about what women's pleasure

330
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:18,320
Speaker 4: actually entails. And it isn't complex, it's just nuanced. It's expansive. Yeah,

331
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,120
Speaker 4: like you said, men's pleasures, I don't mean this in

332
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,960
Speaker 4: like a judgmental way, but at times is a bit

333
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,960
Speaker 4: more one dimensional compared to women's and that's not like

334
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,360
Speaker 4: not a bad thing, Like women can experience pleasure in

335
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,320
Speaker 4: a way more like different way. I think it can

336
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,240
Speaker 4: also be a little bit of an excuse on like

337
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,560
Speaker 4: both parties to be like, you know, I think sometimes

338
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 4: women will settle for less because they think it's too

339
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:46,000
Speaker 4: hard when it's like not like it is more just

340
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,240
Speaker 4: gaining more of an understanding. It's having a bit more

341
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:51,760
Speaker 4: open communication totally. And like also like the other end

342
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,280
Speaker 4: of the spectrum, if you're in like a heterosexual relationship

343
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,880
Speaker 4: and like it may be like, oh, it's just good

344
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,880
Speaker 4: or like whatever, not understanding.

345
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,800
Speaker 5: I'm sure also a lot of men get in their

346
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,240
Speaker 5: own heads of being like I don't know if I'm

347
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 5: being like a good lover or anything like that, when

348
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,800
Speaker 5: you know, sometimes it can be like, oh, it's just

349
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,960
Speaker 5: too hard, but it's not yeah yeah yeah.

350
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,639
Speaker 1: I also think that that idea also can put a

351
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,960
Speaker 1: lot of shame on men too, because if they're not

352
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:21,000
Speaker 1: like hot and ready to go immediately, and that's the

353
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,960
Speaker 1: stereotype that men are easily aroused and like ready to

354
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 1: go at all times.

355
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:26,359
Speaker 2: If you're not.

356
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 1: Then they're also like, okay, what's wrong with me? So yeah,

357
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,000
Speaker 1: those STEREO's that's not everyone.

358
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 3: That's women too.

359
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,720
Speaker 5: We watch rom coms, they kiss for two seconds and

360
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,720
Speaker 5: then in they go and I'm like, oh.

361
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like those stereotypes have negative impacts on everyone, let

362
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,640
Speaker 1: alone if you're not in a hetero relationship and you're

363
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:43,960
Speaker 1: not even represented at all.

364
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,119
Speaker 5: Seriously, what are some of the most common I thought

365
00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:51,480
Speaker 5: this was normal moments that women bring to you, experiencing.

366
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:51,960
Speaker 3: Pain with penetration.

367
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:55,399
Speaker 4: I ask every woman do you experience any discomfort or

368
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,040
Speaker 4: pain with penetration. They'll be like, yeah, but that's normal,

369
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,160
Speaker 4: and I'm like, no, it's actually not normal, Like you're

370
00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:06,159
Speaker 4: often experiencing discomfort and pain because you're jumping to penetration.

371
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 4: To that point of how rom coms influence our sexual

372
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:14,040
Speaker 4: scripts when your body isn't fully aroused, research shows that

373
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,240
Speaker 4: the average sexual interaction goes for thirteen minutes. It also

374
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,040
Speaker 4: shows that it takes minimum twenty minutes to up to

375
00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:24,040
Speaker 4: sixty minutes for a woman to be fully aroused. So

376
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,240
Speaker 4: when women are like, no, that's normal, No, that's normal,

377
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,440
Speaker 4: and like, it's actually not normal, It's not normal.

378
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 3: For you to experience pain.

379
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,520
Speaker 4: It just is often you're following a sexual script that

380
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 4: focuses on men's pleasure and arousal trajectory, because again, that's

381
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,080
Speaker 4: what we researched, that's what we put out there, that's.

382
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,200
Speaker 3: What we think is normal.

383
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:45,040
Speaker 4: But that's not the lived experience of women or people

384
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 4: with evolvers. And so that's when we start to look

385
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 4: at like, how do you communicate more right of like

386
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,240
Speaker 4: this needs to slow down. How do we decenter penetration

387
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,520
Speaker 4: as well? So it's not always about like feeling the

388
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 4: like pressure to have to jump to penetration when your

389
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 4: body's not ready yet.

390
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,359
Speaker 2: And that sex begins and ends with that part.

391
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,040
Speaker 4: Yes, I have like a thing that I call the

392
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 4: het sex Menu, which is like I made it up

393
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 4: to help people try and diversify their sexual repertoires. But

394
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,200
Speaker 4: essentially this idea that like, based on movies, they kiss,

395
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,920
Speaker 4: which is like the entree. Then the main meal is penetration,

396
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 4: and then dessert is like male orgasm. Like generally it's

397
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 4: kind of follows this pretty rigid script. And then because

398
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:36,399
Speaker 4: I'm bisexual, when I started having sex with people who

399
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 4: didn't have penises, I was.

400
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 3: Like wow, this is crazy. It's like no penis to

401
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:41,199
Speaker 3: tend to.

402
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 4: I was like, ah, Like, I just was like life

403
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 4: is so free.

404
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 3: I was like, what do you do? You do anything.

405
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:55,400
Speaker 4: Mast And essentially it reminds me of being in Las Vegas, where.

406
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:05,920
Speaker 5: That you're like and then I was in the last

407
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,199
Speaker 5: ve like.

408
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 2: Where's the cocktail shrimp coming into this?

409
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 4: So I'm in Las Vegas and I don't know if

410
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,680
Speaker 4: you guys have ever been to like breakfast buffets in

411
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,840
Speaker 4: Las Vegas, but because I guess they anticipate a lot

412
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 4: of people partying and being hungover, the breakfasts are insane,

413
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 4: like so good, and I don't really party, so I

414
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 4: would just wake up early every day and eat first

415
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 4: breakfast breakfast like a fucking hobbit.

416
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, second breakfast and I would coffee and I would

417
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 1: do a tactical poo and then I have second breakfast

418
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 1: like a fucking hobbit, And.

419
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:39,720
Speaker 3: So essentially I would. I loved the diversity of the food.

420
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,640
Speaker 4: It was like your regular egg station, your hot breakfast,

421
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 4: your continental breakfast, but you also had a full sushi bar,

422
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 4: a Christmas ham like everything curries, and it made me

423
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,879
Speaker 4: think about sex because I was like, I want to

424
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,120
Speaker 4: turn up to sex every day with a tray being like, hmm,

425
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 4: what do I want today? And it doesn't have to

426
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 4: be defined by certain foods. I don't have to put

427
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 4: the like metaphorical penetration on the tray every time. And

428
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 4: I just wrote an article, you know that British Vogue article, Yes,

429
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 4: and embarrassing.

430
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,439
Speaker 3: To have a boyfriend now?

431
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,359
Speaker 4: I wrote one that was like is it embarrassing to

432
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 4: have penetrative sex now? Because I was like, when you

433
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:20,639
Speaker 4: desensor penetration, which the research shows primarily happens because it

434
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 4: preferences men's pleasure, and that also there's research to show

435
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 4: men prefer it because it makes them feel more masculine. Right,

436
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 4: we know that only eighteen percent of women come from

437
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:31,399
Speaker 4: penetrative sex.

438
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:36,199
Speaker 3: Eighty percent requires clearal simulation of some kind. And so

439
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 3: it just comes back to this idea of like why

440
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:39,359
Speaker 3: are we centering it?

441
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,919
Speaker 4: Why aren't we diversifying the kind of sex we can

442
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 4: have so that there's no pain, that it suits.

443
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,639
Speaker 3: Your pleasure, that you're taking up the space to have

444
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 3: like a good time as possible. You know? I love that?

445
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 1: Moving on, what do you wish that women knew when

446
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 1: comparing their sex lives to their friends or to TikTok

447
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,400
Speaker 1: or romance novels.

448
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 2: It back to before.

449
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,399
Speaker 4: I guess it kind of depends what you're comparing, because

450
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 4: if you're comparing like your levels of like desire for sex,

451
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 4: that's completely subjective and everything is normal, is what I

452
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 4: would say. If you want sex once a year and

453
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 4: if you want sex once a day normal, like, it

454
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 4: doesn't it's there's no like standard, you know what I mean.

455
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that'd be comforting for a lot of

456
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 2: people to hear.

457
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

458
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 4: I think a lot of women are really worried that

459
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 4: they don't want sex enough, especially when they're in relationships

460
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 4: with men or partners that want sex more than them

461
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 4: mismatched libidos. Yeah.

462
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 2: I feel like that's a common question that comes up

463
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:39,120
Speaker 2: when you're having.

464
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:39,959
Speaker 3: Drinks with the girls.

465
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 2: Yes, like it very often will lead to that. So

466
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 2: how often do you have sex.

467
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:48,679
Speaker 1: Totally lack and especially if you're in like maybe a

468
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 1: long term relationship or you pass that honeymoon stage. I

469
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,399
Speaker 1: do think that that is a common question, and I

470
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 1: find that the responses are so varied.

471
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, really very because in the same way that the

472
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 4: three of us sitting here have completely very like genetic

473
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 4: makeup and appearances like that's normal.

474
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 3: We're supposed to look different.

475
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 4: If we were carbon copies of each other, one virus

476
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 4: would wipe us out, Like we're supposed to be different

477
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 4: on like a fundamental level. And therefore, your sexuality, your desire,

478
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 4: how you access like pleasure and orgasm is going to

479
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 4: vary just as much. And when it comes to comparing

480
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 4: things like COUPLETOK, I find a little concerning at times

481
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 4: because it's curated, it's not real, And I think it's

482
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,120
Speaker 4: really important for people to remember that relationships are hard

483
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 4: work and you're not seeing the hard work that goes

484
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 4: on behind the scenes. I think something that like really

485
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 4: changed my brain chemistry when I became a therapist was

486
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 4: that I would get like the most beautiful, like literally

487
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:53,360
Speaker 4: meeting the beauty ideals of society. People come into therapy

488
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,360
Speaker 4: being like I don't want to have sex, I don't

489
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,360
Speaker 4: want to be seen naked, And I'm sitting there going.

490
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 3: What like, which, what the fuck?

491
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 4: I can't say that, obviously, but I'm just going, how

492
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 4: like this is so cracked? Like how is it that

493
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,199
Speaker 4: you feel that when you meet the beauty ideal?

494
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 5: Yeah?

495
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 4: And then other people being like so intelligent and like

496
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 4: communicative but then shutting down around you know what I mean.

497
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 4: It was just it just taught me that, like everyone

498
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 4: has their problems. No couple or relationship is like perfect.

499
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,360
Speaker 4: It all takes work. And in terms of comparing to Romanticy,

500
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 4: I would just say, like, baby girl, those men are

501
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 4: written by women for women, Like that's fantasy. It's fantasy. Unfortunately,

502
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 4: men like that exist.

503
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 3: What is my therapy?

504
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 4: Like legit, When I read Akatar for the first time,

505
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,119
Speaker 4: I inhaled that series in like two weeks and I

506
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 4: had a massive like dopamine.

507
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 3: Crash, and I was in therapy being like show not.

508
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't think I can ever take

509
00:24:55,320 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 3: it again. Like these men actually like yeah, she's so sweet.

510
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 3: She's like, I know, that's tough.

511
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,640
Speaker 5: I think everyone when they like get into Romanticy, has

512
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 5: that realization at least once and they go the kind

513
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 5: of fuck yeah.

514
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 4: I would just say that like Romanticy and like, even

515
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 4: if you're watching like porn, use it as inspiration, not

516
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,640
Speaker 4: like a blueprint for what your life or sex should

517
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 4: look like.

518
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,880
Speaker 3: It's not real, so it can't be.

519
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,719
Speaker 2: And if there was a man with wings would you

520
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 2: really want to fuck him?

521
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 3: Probably?

522
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 5: Yeah. It came out of my mouth and I was like, yeah, yeah,

523
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 5: I want to.

524
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 4: I want to make a fucking creature man come by

525
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 4: touching his little wings. Yeah.

526
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 3: Or you're gonna have like sex in the sky.

527
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:46,919
Speaker 2: Wow takes a whole meaning.

528
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 5: Yeah. As soon as it came out of my mouth,

529
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 5: I was like, what are you saying?

530
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,440
Speaker 2: You feel better? I was trying to make everyone feel better,

531
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 2: and I was like, actually kills me.

532
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 4: The most about romanticy is the fact that like if

533
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 4: there's like magic or like a hat like the House

534
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 4: of Magic Wind, that.

535
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 3: You could just like have sex and be like, can

536
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:03,679
Speaker 3: I have a cookie?

537
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:04,400
Speaker 4: And I was just.

538
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 5: When people have like the audiobook playing though, and this

539
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 5: is where like things again, it's like a fantasy. And

540
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 5: she's like I could barely wrap two hands around it.

541
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 2: And you're like, yeah again, you're trying to like make

542
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 2: the math.

543
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 5: Yeah ow, yeah, I'm going, oh, like that's just okay,

544
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 5: don't about it. Yeah. I love how their dicks are

545
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 5: always this giant, fucking like slap on a table.

546
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 4: Well, he's actually like a really good example of why

547
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 4: romanticy shouldn't inform.

548
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 3: Your sex life.

549
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 4: I was flirting with this woman who's also really into romanticy,

550
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 4: and we were talking about how when they described kissing,

551
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 4: they always say he ran his tongue over the roof

552
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 4: of my mouth. And she was like, I don't think

553
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 4: that would feel good, and I was like, shall we try?

554
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 4: And so we sat there making out, but she was

555
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 4: like trying to lick the roof of my tongue.

556
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 3: We were pissing ourselves teeth well, like.

557
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 1: I'm imagining like Gene Simmons, like long tongue, Like really,

558
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 1: I don't like that feeling.

559
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 4: But it's just a really good example of like it

560
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 4: might sound hot in a book, but in real life

561
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 4: it's weird as fuck.

562
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 1: Like teeth clashing and I'm like, oh yeah, it's giving

563
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 1: high school makeout.

564
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 2: Yeah. I want to kind of go back to something

565
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 2: you said before though about you.

566
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 5: Know, how you see society's perfect person, right, like the

567
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:30,919
Speaker 5: beauty ideal come in and they also, you know, have

568
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 5: a lot to discuss with you. And you've also previously

569
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:39,479
Speaker 5: said that perfectionism is ruining sex. So how does body

570
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,919
Speaker 5: image secretly impact women's pleasure more than they realize.

571
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 3: I would say that body image and perfectionism are intrinsically linked,

572
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:52,120
Speaker 3: and it stems from a sense of learning.

573
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 4: To shame yourself. Like, you are not born being critical

574
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 4: of your body. You are not born disliking your appearance

575
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,879
Speaker 4: or your weight or your shape. You learn these things,

576
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 4: and you learn them by the world around you sending

577
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 4: messages that you shouldn't like these things or that you're

578
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,159
Speaker 4: belonging depends upon these features. And for women, this is

579
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 4: a very strong social message.

580
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 3: That we receive.

581
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 4: And so when you have those kinds of messages internalized,

582
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,199
Speaker 4: you carry them around. You start to then think, like

583
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 4: in vulnerable moments where you're naked and you're having sex, well,

584
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 4: hold on, is my cellulite showing on my barey?

585
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:31,679
Speaker 3: Rolls like showing do I have a double chin? If

586
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 3: I'm on top?

587
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 4: You're suddenly weigh in your head during sex when it's

588
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 4: a time to be in your body enjoying pleasure. So really,

589
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 4: how I think perfectionism polices women is to like make

590
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 4: sure their bodies are perfect in order to feel deserving

591
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 4: of like pleasure, love, acceptance, belonging. And it creates this

592
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 4: mind body disconnect that it's also like all untrue, like

593
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 4: we're all deserving of all those the love, affection, orgasms,

594
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 4: all those things. It doesn't matter what you look like.

595
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 4: So yeah, that's how I think it affects it.

596
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, you've said in an Instagram post, which was what

597
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 5: I wish women knew, which is kind of what inspired

598
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 5: this episode itself, was most people are just happy to

599
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 5: be touching you.

600
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 3: Girl.

601
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 4: I swear to God, I am what I call a

602
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 4: seasoned hour Ah.

603
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 3: I love that.

604
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 2: Please make merch with that. Oh a fucking lutely, I

605
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 2: love that.

606
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 3: On a shirt.

607
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 2: I unlocked my jaw.

608
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 3: So I call myself a seasoned whur.

609
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 4: The reason I call myself a seasoned who is because

610
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 4: girl loves the fuck.

611
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm a walk my talk girl.

612
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 4: Everything that I suggest to clients I have applied in

613
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 4: my own life. Meaning if I say meditate, know that

614
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 4: I've meditated. If I say movement is good for you,

615
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 4: I've practiced that myself.

616
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 3: If I say a perfect flow release with.

617
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 4: A physio could help with like pain, I've gone and

618
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 4: I've had a perfect floor release purely so I could

619
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 4: say to my clients this is what you can expect. Like,

620
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 4: I do the background research, and one of the things

621
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 4: I love to do is push men to their absolute

622
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 4: limits during sex, not in like a weird way, just

623
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 4: more so like what I hear women say during therapy

624
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 4: is like, oh, I could never like pause sex if

625
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 4: I'm feeling anxious and in my head because it ruins

626
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 4: the mood.

627
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 3: I'm like, go why.

628
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:31,479
Speaker 4: I will tell you a time where I was with

629
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 4: a lover and I just thought, for funzies, I'm gonna

630
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 4: just see how long of a break I can take.

631
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 4: And I was like, hey, could you get me glass water?

632
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 4: He was like sure, And I was like, hey, can

633
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 4: we watch an episode of Gilmore Girls?

634
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 3: He was like sure, and I was like, this is awesome.

635
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 3: I was like, hey, cue me sandwich.

636
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 2: I love this. This is how to lose a guy

637
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 2: in ten days.

638
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 3: No no ice. I asked for diet.

639
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 4: I love for It really made me realize that, like,

640
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 4: the the most beautiful quality for me in men is

641
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 4: that they when they're like really attuned to their sense

642
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 4: of like masculinity, they're not threatened by really anything that

643
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 4: you do.

644
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 3: They just want to support you.

645
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 4: Like they can really turn up in such beautiful ways.

646
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 4: And I think I myself also needed to learn that,

647
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 4: which is why I would ask for support and men

648
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,959
Speaker 4: would always be like, yeah, what do you need? And

649
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 4: I think for a lot of women, especially if they've

650
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 4: had negative experiences with men, it's a really important thing

651
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,800
Speaker 4: to like learn that. They're like you can actually take

652
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 4: up this space. But more than that, there's like an

653
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 4: intrinsic power that you hold as a woman that literally

654
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 4: men are intimidated by. Hence the fucking patriarchy, Like why

655
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 4: would they invent the patriarchy if they weren't intimidated? The

656
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,479
Speaker 4: boys be like dang, girls are pretty.

657
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 3: How do we do? What do we do? Subjugate them?

658
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 2: Like yeah, damn, girls sound pretty.

659
00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 3: I'm just Joe got such pretty hair. Like think about it.

660
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 4: Everything that men in terms of like toxic masculinity that

661
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 4: they fear are actually feminine qualities. Like so men are

662
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 4: taught to inherently hate feminine qualities, and yet they deeply

663
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 4: deeply desire women and want to be with women, and

664
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 4: so they have this like inner conflict that it's like

665
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 4: you just want to be us, like you literally do

666
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 4: some of them are some of them are like like

667
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 4: oh yeah no, I'm I'm at peace with like feminine

668
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 4: qualities that I have.

669
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 3: And it's like that is the hottest.

670
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,480
Speaker 4: Thing ever seriously, you know, floodgates are open, other men

671
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 4: are like polish.

672
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's like the Sahara desert down there. Get away.

673
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 5: Well, especially because as well, like I'm by as well,

674
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 5: Like when a guys like a little bit femin I'm like, yeah, like,

675
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 5: I like my part now is not like and each

676
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 5: to their own, you know, but he's just like not

677
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 5: a bro and I love that about him. Like what's

678
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 5: even better is when even like they are a little

679
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 5: bit browie, but they got like big old softy vibes.

680
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, all men have a little baby girl inside.

681
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 5: Yeah.

682
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 1: They all want to be cuddled and time and cuddled, and.

683
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 3: They want to.

684
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 5: I want them to have their nails painted because it's hot,

685
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 5: clean you nails. Okay, I do have a question that

686
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 5: I really want to ask you. We know that they're

687
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 5: are love languages, rightlity, time, words of affirmation, blah blah blah,

688
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 5: But what about pleasure languages?

689
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 4: So we don't have like a formalized set of pleasure

690
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 4: languages in the way that we do love languages. But

691
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 4: there are other frameworks of understanding people's preferences. For example,

692
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 4: there is something called the erotic blueprint, which is like

693
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 4: a quiz you can do online.

694
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 3: We love a quiz.

695
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 4: And essentially the erotic Blueprint looks at how different people

696
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:56,239
Speaker 4: experience like eroticism and connection in different ways, and some

697
00:33:56,400 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 4: examples could be One is like a central erotic blueprint

698
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 4: where like you prefer the kind of like slow touch

699
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 4: or like the intimacy or the affection. Another could be sexual,

700
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,240
Speaker 4: which is where it's the actual like acts of sex

701
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 4: that kind of bring you the most pleasure. Another can

702
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 4: be energetic, which the best way I can describe this

703
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 4: is like the the Dynamics and like romanticy books of

704
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 4: like the stars across the room or like slow you know,

705
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 4: like even like Bridgeton as as Bridgeton.

706
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 3: Right of like the long looks across the room. The yearning.

707
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:33,279
Speaker 4: Okay, you know who is like slaying yearning at the

708
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 4: moment is Jacobal Lordie. I just watched Frankenstein so much

709
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 4: like yearning, and that's very like energetic, right, It's very

710
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 4: like it's you're not even touching kind of thing, and

711
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 4: there's so much.

712
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 3: Pleasure in that.

713
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 5: You know who also slays it? Who sexiest? Jonathan Bailey? Yeah, absolutely,

714
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 5: Season Bridge Get out of My Existence. And then the

715
00:34:56,800 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 5: object of watched on the fucking plane home like nine

716
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 5: hours and I was literally about to hump her in

717
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 5: the chair. I was like, I have to go, yeah,

718
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:12,719
Speaker 5: lock the airplane door. Sorry sologub, I fucking wish Why

719
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 5: which taking it so long?

720
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 4: So yeah, the erotic blueprints, those are just some examples

721
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 4: of like you can kind of then map okay, this

722
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 4: is tense to turn me on. And what's helpful about that,

723
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 4: like the love languages, is that you can be like,

724
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 4: oh well, if I'm energetic and my partner is sensual

725
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 4: or my partner's sexual or whatever, you can kind of go, well,

726
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 4: I kind of need to speak that language a little more.

727
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 4: I can like learn more about that and they can

728
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 4: learn more about me.

729
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 5: Yeah.

730
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's funny when.

731
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,399
Speaker 5: You clock it too, because we were at an event where

732
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,839
Speaker 5: it's like a I think love Honey was doing an

733
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 5: event this is a while ago, and they had a

734
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 5: sex therapist there and you got like a skin facial,

735
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 5: like a skin and then you had like a consultation

736
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,360
Speaker 5: and we've also had people on the show and she

737
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 5: was like describing things. You know, you can say things,

738
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 5: and she started saying sexual things, and I got so

739
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 5: hot and flustered, and she was like, Okay, so you're

740
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 5: an audio person and I like never clocked that.

741
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:10,320
Speaker 2: It was like when people say things.

742
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 5: And then another time we'd had someone on the podcast

743
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 5: and they started like saying sexual things of examples that

744
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 5: you could say, and again I started like getting.

745
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 2: We were in it and I was like and she

746
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:23,279
Speaker 2: She's like, are you okay?

747
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 5: And I was like, I'm getting really horny.

748
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 2: She was so good about it.

749
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 3: She was so funny. But so now we know like

750
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 3: dirty talk is probably a.

751
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 5: Jam and like an audio and I was like it's

752
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 5: all coming together, like to see girl audio books blah

753
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 5: blah blah.

754
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:43,440
Speaker 3: But there's that app called is it Quinn?

755
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 2: Have you heard of it? Yeah?

756
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 3: Quinn And I've used dipsy before.

757
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 5: I've heard of and it's like horny audio books and

758
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 5: Conrad Fisher from the Summer It turned pretty the actor

759
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 5: has just done one.

760
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,800
Speaker 2: Such a smart person, I know, Key knows.

761
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 5: Yeah.

762
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 4: I feel like a lot of the actor boys have

763
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 4: done the audio erotica, which is vibe.

764
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a big market out there.

765
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say we didn't have this as a question,

766
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 1: but it popped into my mind before when you were

767
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:12,800
Speaker 1: talking about like pushing.

768
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 2: Men to their limits in the bedroom.

769
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and taking on those opportunities to pause and like

770
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 1: say what you want or you need. And I wanted

771
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 1: to ask you what your thoughts were around the conversations

772
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: around condoms and protection in sex. And there's been some

773
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 1: conversations recently about that being an ick, putting that pause

774
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 1: in some of the momentum that you have during sex

775
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 1: and during full play to ask if someone has a condom. Stereotypically,

776
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: that was something that we would have thought was coming

777
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 1: from men, but more recently we've had an example in

778
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 1: pop culture where it did come from a woman, and

779
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 1: she was talking about how like, oh, me and all

780
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 1: my friends, like we all think that condoms are an

781
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 1: it what Yeah, And I wanted to know what you

782
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 1: thought about fascinating.

783
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 4: So, first of all, I literally had this conversation with

784
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 4: a client yesterday.

785
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

786
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,280
Speaker 3: Secondly, the rates of syphilis are like through the roof.

787
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,439
Speaker 4: Because the younger generation, I'm not using condoms, so I'm

788
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:10,720
Speaker 4: not surprised to hear that. But essentially, one really easy

789
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 4: way of having sexual health conversations, which are absolutely fundamental

790
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 4: to your sense of sexual health but also informed consent

791
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:24,360
Speaker 4: is to have it before anything happens. So the reason

792
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:28,879
Speaker 4: it's important for informed consent is because if someone says, hey, yeah, look,

793
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 4: I've got like herpes and I'm on like a daily

794
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 4: medication and i haven't had any flare ups, like, and

795
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 4: you know, i'd liked we can use a condom, you

796
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 4: then have all the information that you might need to

797
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 4: make a decision if you'd like to go forward. You

798
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 4: might also like have sex with someone and say when

799
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 4: was your last STI check and they say, oh, like

800
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 4: I had one a couple of years ago. You go, well,

801
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,839
Speaker 4: have you had any unprotected sex since? And they go, well, yeah,

802
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 4: you now have informed consent to be like what that.

803
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 4: I don't feel comfortable having unprotected sex because there's a

804
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 4: huge risk there. And so when these conversations happen, I

805
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,359
Speaker 4: really feel like people don't understand the importance of them

806
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 4: until you've had chlamydia like me, Ah learned that that

807
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 4: hard way. Yeah, Or you've had an unwanted like pregnancy

808
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 4: or something like that. But essentially you have those scares

809
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 4: and then you're like, fuck, these conversations really matter, and

810
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 4: you will make them a priority. But you can make

811
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 4: it easy, like it doesn't have to be an awkward conversation.

812
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 4: You can be like kissing and be like, hey, I've

813
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 4: like this is really fun. I kind of want this

814
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 4: to go further, but like, is it okay if we

815
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:33,959
Speaker 4: just check in around like sexual health?

816
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 3: When was your last test?

817
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 4: Mine was like, then is there anything I need to

818
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 4: know about your sexual health status?

819
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 3: And that gives people an opportunity to.

820
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 4: Say yes, like I have whatever, and that way it's

821
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 4: like easy and when you go to have sex, you're

822
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 4: not worrying about things. Condoms are really like important, Yeah,

823
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 4: like shout out to condoms.

824
00:39:58,160 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 3: Love condoms.

825
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, kind of blows my mind that a lot of

826
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 4: people aren't doing it. But again, I feel like you'll

827
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,320
Speaker 4: have a scare and then you'll be like I'm never ever.

828
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:07,760
Speaker 3: Like I love condom.

829
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 1: Yeahs are the best, because that's the thing, Like I

830
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 1: don't want to shame anybody who doesn't enjoy using them,

831
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 1: you know. But at the same time, it's so important

832
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,280
Speaker 1: and having those conversations around sexual health and protected sex

833
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: is so important, and I just feel like, yeah, the

834
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: fact that that was like in the conversation in recent ways,

835
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: I was like, how are we here?

836
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:33,839
Speaker 4: Honestly, it's very surprising, and people calling it an ick

837
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 4: is very shaming to be like that, it's an IQ.

838
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 3: You want a condom? Oh?

839
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 4: Sorry that I don't want to get an STI when

840
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 4: did that become reversed?

841
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,359
Speaker 3: Yeah? Do you know what I mean?

842
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 2: An actual ick is when someone doesn't want to.

843
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:47,879
Speaker 3: Prioritize sexual health.

844
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 5: I agree, and doesn't want to prioritize you know, protection

845
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 5: and having informed consent.

846
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 3: That's the it.

847
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 4: You know what, the hoddest thing a person's ever done. Okay,

848
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 4: well that's an exaggeration, but essentially, this one person was like,

849
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 4: ask me, like a man initiated, being like, hey, let's

850
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 4: talk about sexual health.

851
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 3: I was like, and then.

852
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 4: He was like, I've got my results here if you

853
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 4: want to see them. And I was like, marry me.

854
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 4: I didn't marry him because although marriage might not have

855
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 4: to stop that. But essentially the point is that he

856
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 4: took initiative. He was incredibly responsible. It made me feel

857
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:34,080
Speaker 4: so safe, so comfortable to just relax into my pleasure

858
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 4: knowing that again, this man wasn't like, oh was this

859
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 4: so awkward or I was just killing No one has

860
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 4: ever done that in the times that I've initiated these conversations.

861
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 4: I've never had anyone do that, and if they have

862
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:51,240
Speaker 4: ever pushed back, I've been like, you have like issues, yeah.

863
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 1: Well, like you don't deserve to fuck me seriously, But

864
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,359
Speaker 1: that was my concern. I was like, the last thing

865
00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 1: that we need is women telling men it's an ick

866
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:02,319
Speaker 1: to be looking for.

867
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,919
Speaker 2: A condom or to say I'm going to go into

868
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 2: my bag and grab a condom.

869
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 1: I was like.

870
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 2: That, I'll show you it.

871
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 4: That isn't even it's like a bit of a pickmy thing.

872
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, are you saying that? I get it?

873
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 3: Like I my pus does not like latex.

874
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 2: So that's what I mean. That's I was like, I

875
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 2: don't want to shame anyone because.

876
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 3: I know latex allergy.

877
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so like it's not fun, but it's also again,

878
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 4: I can have penetration for a little bit with a

879
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 4: non latex condom and then guess what we can do

880
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 4: lots of other things because we're in Las Vegas, baby.

881
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 2: Like, Also, Lubi is a beautiful thing.

882
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,320
Speaker 3: Lubis are number one security.

883
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 4: But I just think that it comes down to this

884
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 4: idea of like, who made you feel like maybe shamed

885
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 4: for wanting a condom that you then yeah, it's an

886
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 4: ick and it's like, no, it's not, like actually, it's

887
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 4: come from sexual health and like say for sex totally.

888
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 3: Well, to wrap up.

889
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,280
Speaker 5: We always ask our guess it's the same final question,

890
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,720
Speaker 5: and it's what has been your number one life lesson

891
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:09,040
Speaker 5: on your sexual sex therapy journey so far?

892
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:11,839
Speaker 4: The number one life lesson that I think comes up

893
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:15,399
Speaker 4: literally every day in private practice is the fact that

894
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 4: desire doesn't work the way that we think it does,

895
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:23,760
Speaker 4: and people have desire styles and a lot of why

896
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 4: we think desire should be spontaneous and like immediate is

897
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 4: because again, guess what girlies. Guess what the researchers did.

898
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 4: They's daddied men and they went, yeah, I'm as women too, right,

899
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 4: People were like actually, and so then again in like

900
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 4: the nineties, there are a couple of researchers from the

901
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 4: Kinsey Institute that were like, hold on spontaneous desire where

902
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:51,880
Speaker 4: you are interested in sex like almost immediately. Is actually

903
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 4: seventy percent of men identify with that, but only what

904
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:00,359
Speaker 4: was it? Maybe like thirty percent of women? So what's

905
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 4: happening for women? They research it and found that women

906
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 4: majority of women often have something called responsive desire, meaning

907
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 4: that they need a sexy context to respond to that.

908
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 4: It takes time to build.

909
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:17,320
Speaker 3: Arousal and desire and that's normal.

910
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 4: And I feel like that has been like transformative not

911
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 4: only for understanding myself, but for helping clients who turn

912
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 4: up to therapy feeling really or the girlies going why

913
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 4: am I not having sex as much at the pub

914
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 4: over the marks, going should I be you know, comparing

915
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:36,319
Speaker 4: It's like no, because it's normal for you. If you

916
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 4: want sex once a month, normal, Like that's okay. And

917
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 4: if you're experiencing it differently to your partner, that's normal.

918
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 4: And it's just something to lack the erotic blueprints or

919
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 4: anything love languages. You just got to understand, like what

920
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 4: is unique for your body, your pleasure, and then communicate

921
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 4: it and kind of work with that information.

922
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:02,760
Speaker 5: To support that goofy think that I've seen on the internet,

923
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 5: which is a fabulous place to be, was there's such

924
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 5: a thing as now Akatar babies because people got so

925
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 5: horny reading akatars that they would have sex with their

926
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 5: partners and they would get pregnant.

927
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 2: They're the new baby boomer.

928
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 3: Stop romantic is like healing. Women would be reading it

929
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 3: and they'd be like, this is hot.

930
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 5: So they go to their like you know, their their partner,

931
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 5: their hubbies or whatever, and they'd be like, let's fuck.

932
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 3: And then there was this thread crazy and it was

933
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 3: like a woman and.

934
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 5: She was like so like who else And people were

935
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 5: like yep, moments from a court and silver flames like

936
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 5: my like third child was an Akatar baby or blah

937
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 5: blah blah because they got so horny reading a romancey

938
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 5: book that they got pregnant from sixty times Wow healing.

939
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, so incredible, exactly, thank you, that's my last edition. No,

940
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 2: that was amazing.

941
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 5: Again, the importance of condoms when reading romanticity books.

942
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 2: I iterate you yeah, definitely, Well, thank you so much,

943
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 2: thank you and chatted like all we need to get

944
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 2: you back on.

945
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 1: But in the meantime, where can the chicks find you

946
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 1: and learn more about you and what you do?

947
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:14,320
Speaker 4: So I'm on Instagram at Underscore the Pleasure Center. The

948
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 4: Pleasure Center is my private practice where I see individuals

949
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 4: and couples and I have a website, but you can

950
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 4: find that on the Instagram.

951
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 2: You have an amazing substack.

952
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:27,439
Speaker 3: You know what the substack is new?

953
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 4: I love writing, like I really really enjoy it, and

954
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 4: so I've been building out the substack. I have like

955
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 4: mini podcast episodes on there, but I just call them

956
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 4: voice notes because I'm cute, like attention span girly, I'm

957
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 4: going ten minutes, ten minutes max. And I always just

958
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 4: like drop a little nugget of, like I guess, educational

959
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 4: wisdom based on what clients talk about. There's always like

960
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 4: a theme in therapy, and that's kind of what inspires

961
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,719
Speaker 4: the voice notes. And then I write articles about like

962
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 4: sex and relationships, but also my lived ex sperience kind

963
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 4: of stuff.

964
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, amazing.

965
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 1: Put links to everything by the same person, put links

966
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: to everything in the show notes. But thank you so

967
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,920
Speaker 1: much for coming on, and thanks to your chicks for

968
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 1: having us in your ear holes.

969
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:11,719
Speaker 3: We love to be here.

970
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:12,280
Speaker 2: Batch