Speaker 1: Apoday production.
Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the
Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects
Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect
Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.
Speaker 1: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level
Speaker 1: up together.
Speaker 3: Let's go deep, let.
Speaker 1: The emotions flow, and find the lessons to grow and Glow.
Speaker 3: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and
Speaker 3: we're here to be your expander.
Speaker 1: Hello Gay, Welcome back to Grow and Glow.
Speaker 3: Welcome back, Welcome back, Mabe. We're in a high vibe.
Speaker 3: We've had our decaf coffee ready to go. We're actually
Speaker 3: in a really bad night's sleep and we're both not
Speaker 3: having coffee. But we feel good.
Speaker 1: I feel great, so good.
Speaker 3: If you have not listened to our Addictions episode before
Speaker 3: this one, actually go and listen to that.
Speaker 1: One, Yeah, because it'll make this have so much more understanding.
Speaker 3: Yes, it gives a lot more context as to what
Speaker 3: we're about to talk about. So go listen to that first,
Speaker 3: then come back and hear us today. Yeah, but let's
Speaker 3: get into our share of the week. What have you
Speaker 3: got for us this week?
Speaker 1: This is something I've actually already recommended you aure The
Speaker 1: Voyeurs on Prime. Have you watched it yet? No? The
Speaker 1: movie Oh my gosh. So basically it's got Sydney Sweeney
Speaker 1: in Absolute Babe. By the way, Yeah, I'm like, isn't
Speaker 1: she Her and her boyfriend move into this new apartment.
Speaker 1: They are just such like this series.
Speaker 3: Not a movie, right, it's a movie. I looked it
Speaker 3: up and it was a series. Someone if they've made
Speaker 3: it into a series as well, baby.
Speaker 1: So it's a movie. And then move into this apartment
Speaker 1: and they realize that the view of the apartment across
Speaker 1: the road they can fully see into their apartment and
Speaker 1: their lives are really wild. So they start to like
Speaker 1: spy on them. And it starts off really lighthearted, like
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, like he's a photographer and she starts
Speaker 1: seeing him like bang them off. Yeah, and they're like
Speaker 1: watching like, oh my gosh, it's a heatic. And then
Speaker 1: it starts to get like more and more in depth
Speaker 1: and they start to like do all these different things
Speaker 1: about it. Listening to the conversations and they start to
Speaker 1: get addicted to watching their life unravel. The twizzt at
Speaker 1: the end I would have never expected. And it is
Speaker 1: just one of those shows where like, once you start,
Speaker 1: you just need to keep watching. Wow, you and Steve
Speaker 1: will both love it. Okay, the voy is it's v
Speaker 1: O y e U r S on Prime.
Speaker 3: I think we looked it up, but I swear it's
Speaker 3: that a series. When we're wanting a movie that night. Yeah,
Speaker 3: to look at the game. It's so good, so good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's your share of that?
Speaker 3: My share of the week is something Steve shared with
Speaker 3: me that he's been He put like a post it
Speaker 3: note on the front of his computer. It was after
Speaker 3: I found out about my surgery and everything, and I
Speaker 3: think it's a lot for a husband, you know. He
Speaker 3: had stepped up and taken on a lot of my
Speaker 3: roles and just trying to support me emotionally. And it's
Speaker 3: just been a big couple of months. And while he's
Speaker 3: doing this, he's obviously still running Hideaway and he's busy
Speaker 3: being a dad, and he was just having a bit
Speaker 3: of a hard time and he felt like the things
Speaker 3: he was trying to solve just weren't working and he
Speaker 3: listened to something I don't know, it must have been
Speaker 3: a podcast or a YouTube clip, and it's called when
Speaker 3: the day, and when you feel like you're trying to
Speaker 3: juggle a million balls and nothing's working out and you
Speaker 3: can't find solutions to the problems and you feel like
Speaker 3: you're at a dead end, or something really bad happens
Speaker 3: at work and you're like, fuck, this is really going
Speaker 3: to make this hard, or how do I do this?
Speaker 3: And he runs a ship, so it's really lots on
Speaker 3: his shoulders, and it was just basically, every single day
Speaker 3: you can write us to do list or whatever, but
Speaker 3: just whatever you've got on for that day, tick things
Speaker 3: off and feel like you've won the day. Don't focus
Speaker 3: so much on the end goal or the week goal.
Speaker 3: Just every single day, know that you've won the day
Speaker 3: by ticking a few little things off. And he feels
Speaker 3: so much more accomplished when he's actually done this, and
Speaker 3: he can walk away from his desk being like, I've
Speaker 3: won the day because I've got this done and this
Speaker 3: done and this done, Whereas when he was just like
Speaker 3: in the middle of it, in the chaos, in the noise,
Speaker 3: he was walking away feeling really defeated each day, just
Speaker 3: being like, fuck, this went wrong, this happened, I didn't
Speaker 3: hear back from this person, paid all these bills like
Speaker 3: it just was feeling a lot. But he put that
Speaker 3: in front of him, win the day, and he writes
Speaker 3: out us the do list. He crosses it off each day,
Speaker 3: and he can walk away being like, I've won the day.
Speaker 3: And it might not have the solutions to the big
Speaker 3: problems and the end goal isn't there yet, but he
Speaker 3: feels good walking away being like, yes, I've won the day.
Speaker 1: I love.
Speaker 3: It's just a mindset switch for something to focus on
Speaker 3: and something to just pep you up at the end
Speaker 3: of a long, hard day.
Speaker 1: I found that I've spoken about this before, but I
Speaker 1: used to find that on a Monday, I used to
Speaker 1: get really frazzled because I felt like I had so
Speaker 1: much to do. So what I've started doing actually is
Speaker 1: at the start of the week, writing at a list
Speaker 1: of things I need to do for the week that
Speaker 1: I have to get done, and I'll try to evenly
Speaker 1: spread them out. Otherwise it gets to Monday and I
Speaker 1: felt pressure at the start of the week, like I
Speaker 1: need to do that. I don't want to forget, so
Speaker 1: I kind of shuffle it through. It's kind of a
Speaker 1: similar thing. It's like shortening the amount of pressure you're
Speaker 1: putting yourself all.
Speaker 3: That day and just saying to yourself, I've won the day. Oh,
Speaker 3: like just giving yourself that positive affirmation and confirmation like
Speaker 3: I've won the day. Yeah, It's really helped, and I've
Speaker 3: since then, I've started writing out to do lists as well,
Speaker 3: and whatever I get through, I'm always going to pick
Speaker 3: out the things that are most important, and then if
Speaker 3: they don't get done, I just write out my next
Speaker 3: to do list for the next day and I put
Speaker 3: it on top of my laptop when I come in
Speaker 3: the next day. That's just what I've got to tackle.
Speaker 3: And it just takes the pressure off too, because you
Speaker 3: can only carry so much information in your brain and
Speaker 3: only remember so much, especially when you are juggling so much.
Speaker 3: And this is all going to change for me pretty soon.
Speaker 3: I don't think we're going to have as much on
Speaker 3: my plate. But if you ask someone who is highly
Speaker 3: stressed and you've got a lot on your plate, a
Speaker 3: lot on your shoulders, it's just a really nice little
Speaker 3: theory to kind of live by each day.
Speaker 1: Beautiful yeah, So today we're going to be talking about
Speaker 1: our digital detox that we had at Eden. Have you
Speaker 1: ever had that long off your phone?
Speaker 3: So back in the day, a long time ago, when
Speaker 3: Taji's little Baby and the trolls were really, really bad,
Speaker 3: I used to have a couple of I titled them
Speaker 3: blackout weeks or blackout days, and it was when I
Speaker 3: would just like go off social media because I just
Speaker 3: mentally wasn't coping. That's probably the last time I'd done it.
Speaker 3: But that was honestly, like eight years ago.
Speaker 1: And I'm obviously in a bad state then, not one
Speaker 1: to like ah and be off your phone. No, I
Speaker 1: was in a highly stressed, like suicidal state. That was
Speaker 1: like my I've got to go off, can't show up.
Speaker 1: So that was a long time ago, and to be honest,
Speaker 1: I haven't felt like I've needed that, But of course
Speaker 1: we all need it. Of course we should not be
Speaker 1: on all the time constantly, like emotionally, having these cords
Speaker 1: plugged into anyone and everyone taking in all this information
Speaker 1: and noise of pages of social media platforms, of staff
Speaker 1: of whoever. We all need to take a break and
Speaker 1: step away from the device. But we just don't schedule
Speaker 1: it in because life's busy and things need to get
Speaker 1: done right until you're forced to. I don't think I've
Speaker 1: ever had a full day off my phone until we
Speaker 1: went to eat and like a full day yeah go.
Speaker 1: But anyways, I said to Ashley Rap before we started
Speaker 1: recording this episode that I've got a crazy statistic that
Speaker 1: I wanted to share with her on the podcast. And
Speaker 1: I think this will make all of us just go like,
Speaker 1: what in the world. Okay, okay, you're ready to blow
Speaker 1: your socks off. I'm ready, the socks are on. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So doctor Adam Alter, one of the top psychology experts
Speaker 1: and professors in the world, share this statistic. On average,
Speaker 1: you will spend twenty years of your life just scrolling
Speaker 1: through your phone. Imagine it's the end of your life
Speaker 1: and someone says, would you like twenty extra years and
Speaker 1: your answer is no, I'd rather have spent twenty years
Speaker 1: scrolling mindlessly.
Speaker 3: On my phone. Wow.
Speaker 1: Twenty years. So if you until you're eighty, that's like
Speaker 1: how much of your life?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy, like a fourth of your life? Yuck?
Speaker 1: How insane? That's the average person.
Speaker 3: Oh man, doesn't that hit really? Does you? Don't realize
Speaker 3: how much you're on your phone. No, you don't realize
Speaker 3: it until you get to experience not being on it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and that's what we got to experience, which was really cool. Yeah. So,
Speaker 3: as you guys know, we've that a whole episode on it.
Speaker 3: We went to a beautiful health a treat called Eden Incredible.
Speaker 3: I've been to a few different health to treats, but
Speaker 3: none like this. It's so hard to explain because even
Speaker 3: when I explained to someone, they were like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm not going to pay that money to
Speaker 3: go and relax. I'm like, no, it's not just like
Speaker 3: go and relax. There's so much about it. But one
Speaker 3: of the things is where they're located. They're situated out
Speaker 3: in crumbed and there's no reception. No unless you're at
Speaker 3: the actual reception. Yes, up at your cabin, up at dinner,
Speaker 3: there's no reception.
Speaker 1: Whever you're in a class. Your phone's not just going
Speaker 1: off before. That's the thing that was really cool too.
Speaker 1: When you're waiting in between doing things, you realize how
Speaker 1: much you're just scrolling your phone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, get down, yeah, do this, do that.
Speaker 1: So if we go back to the beginning, how did
Speaker 1: you feel once we found out that there was going
Speaker 1: to be digital detops Because we didn't know right away.
Speaker 1: It came to a point and I remember a message and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, there's no single out bet.
Speaker 3: I was excited so ready. I just found out that
Speaker 3: wee can had to have brain surgery. Obviously, you guys
Speaker 3: now know I'm closing down baseline on my brain. I
Speaker 3: just well, I felt so burnt out and so ready.
Speaker 3: I needed to reconnect with myself. I needed to have
Speaker 3: slow down time. The noise of life was just too much.
Speaker 3: So I was really excited to actually be almost forced
Speaker 3: to have this time. But I didn't have to look
Speaker 3: after anyone or do anything. So I had a few
Speaker 3: people be like, oh, are you, like, are you nervous
Speaker 3: to not be in contact with the kids, and aren't
Speaker 3: you worried? I'm like, no, I trusted with my life.
Speaker 1: And they also had an emergency number. Yeah, so they
Speaker 1: would let us know they can call them and know
Speaker 1: if anything happened.
Speaker 3: But I trust him with my life, which of course
Speaker 3: I trust him with my children. They absolutely adore him. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so I knew they'd be in safe, very capable hands.
Speaker 3: So now that wasn't a thought of like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: they're going to die without me. I was actually a Okay.
Speaker 1: I was nervous. I have never been this long without
Speaker 1: my phone. I've never been this long without working. To
Speaker 1: be completly honest, I think that's the first time I've
Speaker 1: ever gone a day without jumping on my stories.
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably me too.
Speaker 1: I just had this story in my head that it
Speaker 1: was a daily thing that I just did, and I
Speaker 1: do love it. I genuinely love it, but it was
Speaker 1: also nice to know that I don't have to do
Speaker 1: it every day. But yeah, in the lead up, I
Speaker 1: was nervous. I was like the kid thing was definitely
Speaker 1: a bit of a worry and a story I told myself.
Speaker 1: But once I got there, you can just walk down
Speaker 1: to reception and FaceTime them. Not only that, but you're
Speaker 1: so busy connecting with yourself, connecting with other people, learning,
Speaker 1: doing things that you actually don't want to be on
Speaker 1: your phone. And I would have taken away from the
Speaker 1: experience so much.
Speaker 3: Agree. Yeah, one hundred percent agree, Because even when we
Speaker 3: went down to reception to like call the kids, because
Speaker 3: they both called out husbands and kids every night, and
Speaker 3: I love that. It was so nice to connect with
Speaker 3: them and just tell them about the day and whatever.
Speaker 3: But I remember there was times where I automatically, out
Speaker 3: of habit, went to click to check my Instagram, and
Speaker 3: I was like, eh, I don't want to yuck, Like
Speaker 3: it felt yucky because it takes work and it was
Speaker 3: going to take me out of my experience, out of
Speaker 3: my state. I would then be taking an information I
Speaker 3: didn't want to hear or see or take anything else
Speaker 3: in because I went in intentionally. This was my time
Speaker 3: to get, this was my time to process, This was
Speaker 3: my time to just be and not be doing so
Speaker 3: I didn't even click into it, like I didn't want
Speaker 3: to see what anyone else was doing. Yeah, and it's
Speaker 3: cool because it's like when you're experiencing that, it's like
Speaker 3: do you really care what everyone else is doing?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: Does anyone really care? Like why are we so addicted
Speaker 3: to like look and what other people are doing? I
Speaker 3: know I really need to know, not really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I've said this before to Ashy and I
Speaker 1: think on the podcast as well. But while being there,
Speaker 1: even work wise, like with love Ellis Rose, you think
Speaker 1: that the world won't keep functioning without you being on
Speaker 1: your phone. But it actually does. But there's this story
Speaker 1: in my head one hundred percent that made me think
Speaker 1: I always have to be at access, I always have
Speaker 1: to have it on me. I always need to make
Speaker 1: sure I'm checking it every half an hour hour.
Speaker 3: It's like, why, Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just went like three days without checking out out
Speaker 1: all throughout the day and just having a look to
Speaker 1: call my husband. And I didn't got on the Instagram
Speaker 1: app once. Yeah, doing on my emails once.
Speaker 3: It's so free. Yeah. So yeah, surprisingly it felt amazing.
Speaker 3: It felt really good. At one point I was like, ah,
Speaker 3: I think I could live like this. Oh gosh, Like
Speaker 3: this would be so nice to be out in a
Speaker 3: farm with my kids and have no social media and
Speaker 3: no internet and just live my life. Yeah. It was
Speaker 3: really really nice to experience. And obviously for a lot
Speaker 3: of us that isn't reality, and I knew that, but
Speaker 3: I also was like, I can take more of this
Speaker 3: energy and implement that more into my life, so I've
Speaker 3: got a more healthy balance, because it's not like, you know,
Speaker 3: you've got that pendulum swing. It's like you all the
Speaker 3: way over there and then you swing it all the
Speaker 3: way the other way. Yeah. It showed us and it's
Speaker 3: now it's like, Okay, there's a happy medium where we
Speaker 3: do love social media. I love connecting with my audience.
Speaker 3: I love sharing. This is why we have a podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we love talking. We love sharing our lessons, sharing the
Speaker 3: ups and downs, and helping to empower other women. And
Speaker 3: we've got this platform, we've got this voice, we've got
Speaker 3: this opportunity where we can make a positive impact. So
Speaker 3: it's not putting down our phones and social media. I
Speaker 3: love it, I live for it. I do, but there's
Speaker 3: got to be about and there's so much more living
Speaker 3: to be had off your phone.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So that's like what we learned throughout that process. But
Speaker 3: let's go over, like, what was one of the top
Speaker 3: things that you learned without having your phone with you?
Speaker 1: The top thing I learned is that I don't need
Speaker 1: to have it. I kept leaving it everywhere. Yeah, raising
Speaker 1: my phone. I remember, I was just so in the
Speaker 1: habit of like having it on me. So I would
Speaker 1: be sitting somewhere and then i'd have it down. I'd
Speaker 1: be like, oh, where's my phone again? And then I
Speaker 1: go back to somewhere I was four hours ago on
Speaker 1: my phone, be sitting on the bench and I was like.
Speaker 4: Oh, so, yeah, I think it just really showed me
Speaker 4: that it's okay to have that boundary with my phone,
Speaker 4: of I don't need to be so attached to it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how about you? How much more in tune I
Speaker 3: was with how I feel each day, because I feel
Speaker 3: like I am in a bad habit of getting up
Speaker 3: in ball admit it, call myself out. I get up,
Speaker 3: I check my emails, I clean my DMS, I get
Speaker 3: started for the day. Before I go to bed, I
Speaker 3: do the same thing like I feel like I need
Speaker 3: to be on I don't want to let any staff down.
Speaker 3: I need to check website, I need to check stop.
Speaker 3: I just feel like I need to check everything. So
Speaker 3: while I'm doing all of that, I'm missing moments to
Speaker 3: check in with how I actually feel. So if I
Speaker 3: don't know how I feel each day, how can I
Speaker 3: plan my day and honor myself and give my body
Speaker 3: and my nervous system and my energy and my kids
Speaker 3: what it needs, what they need. I can't I miss
Speaker 3: those opportunities because I'm tuned into my screen. So having
Speaker 3: those days, I actually would just wake up and like
Speaker 3: wake up and smell the roses.
Speaker 1: Literally go to a meditation class.
Speaker 3: Yeah, look outside, smell the air, Listen to a couple
Speaker 3: of birds. Sounds like airy fairy, but this is what
Speaker 3: I do. Take some breaths, take your time, just up,
Speaker 3: take your ice in a row. I felt so calm
Speaker 3: and I could really just tune into what was coming
Speaker 3: up for me. And then I also like journaled a
Speaker 3: lot more because I had that space that I got
Speaker 3: to get really clear on my next chapter and where
Speaker 3: I'm going, what I'm feeling, and I got to write
Speaker 3: it all out and it just made me feel so
Speaker 3: much more connected with myself and so much more like
Speaker 3: not a cocky way, but it's more in love with
Speaker 3: who I am. I really like this slow, calm, regulated
Speaker 3: ashy Yeah, I like her better than the one that's
Speaker 3: always hustling on the go and just attending to everyone
Speaker 3: and anything. And it was like, why am I doing
Speaker 3: all of that? I feel like I need to rescue
Speaker 3: everyone and help everyone and be there for everyone, and yes,
Speaker 3: I love that about me, but I can be better
Speaker 3: at that and do it properly and more intentionally when
Speaker 3: I look after me first, and that needs to be
Speaker 3: to switch off at definitely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how did you find when you first came out.
Speaker 3: I didn't want to go back on neither. I struggled the.
Speaker 1: First few days. I didn't go on that Sunday at all.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Also, i'd been away from my family. I was like,
Speaker 1: I just want to see them. But it was such
Speaker 1: a nice state.
Speaker 3: Hey, it was really Yeah, it was an emotional state,
Speaker 3: a very regulated state. I remember the first when I
Speaker 3: went back, Steve had to go somewhere. I think Taji
Speaker 3: went with him, and just my energy just bounced off
Speaker 3: to Tala. She was just in the best mood, so
Speaker 3: excited to see me. We just had such a calm afternoon.
Speaker 3: I was cooking and I bought all the Ciganex food
Speaker 3: and I just felt so at ease and flowy and
Speaker 3: so feminine. I was so open to like receiving and
Speaker 3: talking and just like, yeah, it was beautiful. I was like,
Speaker 3: I want and I need more of that in my life,
Speaker 3: which is another realization of why I've closed down baseline
Speaker 3: as well. It was like, I physically, emotionally mentally maybe
Speaker 3: don't have the skill set or the boundary. I just
Speaker 3: can't do that while I'm so stressed at work, and
Speaker 3: while I've got so much on my plate and such
Speaker 3: a big to do list. I can't.
Speaker 1: That makes sense.
Speaker 3: I've tried for so long and I can't, and it
Speaker 3: doesn't feel good anymore now that I've experienced that. For
Speaker 3: me to be able to have more of that, I've
Speaker 3: had to pull back and close that and say no
Speaker 3: to different things so that I can be more of that.
Speaker 3: And I know now that's where I want to be
Speaker 3: and how I want to feel, so to do that
Speaker 3: now actually needed to be taken. I needed to swap
Speaker 3: things aroundly that excites me that I can be more
Speaker 3: of that.
Speaker 1: I reckon we should talk about too, like what we've
Speaker 1: implemented now we've come out, because these are probably things
Speaker 1: that everyone listening.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's easier when you're on a retrain, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because I have implemented quite a bit, have you as well?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Definitely, I've got some more tips of things that
Speaker 3: like I learn in there, though, I'll go for it.
Speaker 3: Maybe we'll go over those first. One thing that I
Speaker 3: really struggle to find time to do is read. And
Speaker 3: I love reading. I really really do love reading. And
Speaker 3: when I was in there, I read a whole book
Speaker 3: and I just had so much more time and space.
Speaker 3: But even when I'm reading at home, even with my
Speaker 3: phone being next to me, I'm thinking about work, and
Speaker 3: I'll quickly just pick it up and go, oh, just
Speaker 3: clear a couple of deems because there might be one
Speaker 3: hundred in there. Yeah. Or you're like, I don't have
Speaker 3: any notifications of vibrations on it's ionn't had that in
Speaker 3: a long time. But I'll pick it up and just go,
Speaker 3: I'll just clear this because then I can relax and read.
Speaker 3: And then half an hour's down the track and I'm
Speaker 3: still going, and I'm like, oh, just finish it off,
Speaker 3: and then you know, Tarlow wakes up or whatever, and
Speaker 3: I missed it, missed that opportunity. Now it's even having
Speaker 3: it there. So that was really nice to realize how
Speaker 3: much more I enjoy reading. But I can't have my
Speaker 3: phone near me. So now when she sleeps, like say
Speaker 3: on the weekend or whatever, my phone in the bedroom
Speaker 3: and go read in the loundroom because if it's not
Speaker 3: near me, I don't think about it. Yeah, that was
Speaker 3: really cool.
Speaker 1: I have found, similar to what you've just said, I
Speaker 1: have way more time for things that I thought I
Speaker 1: didn't have time for. I felt like I don't have
Speaker 1: time to cook I've been cooking so many beautiful, yummy,
Speaker 1: healthy recipes from scratch, and I always told myself I
Speaker 1: didn't have time to do that. But now that i
Speaker 1: have this boundary with my phone where I'm not constantly
Speaker 1: checking emails, checking this, or just getting stuck on it
Speaker 1: because it is an addiction, I'm realizing all these things
Speaker 1: that I thought I didn't have time for here and
Speaker 1: you're actually putting your phone down here. Now, how are
Speaker 1: you actually put your phone down? You actually have time
Speaker 1: for it, things that you enjoy, that connect you with you,
Speaker 1: that make you lean more into that regulated nervous system,
Speaker 1: feminine energy. So I feel like a lot of these
Speaker 1: things that I've thought I didn't have time for, it's
Speaker 1: actually me deciding to put that boundary in place to
Speaker 1: create the space and time you.
Speaker 3: Really do make time for what's important in what matters
Speaker 3: to you most. Because we're opposite, they're like, I'll always
Speaker 3: make time to cook and you'll aways make time to read.
Speaker 3: But we both have a story my stories. I don't
Speaker 3: have time to read your stories. I don't have time
Speaker 3: to call it. Is that my oppositeuse? You probably look
Speaker 3: at me and be like, oh, you get up early?
Speaker 3: You can read, you know, sure you can, but we've
Speaker 3: got offices. I just noticed. It's so funny, interesting. You'll
Speaker 3: make time for what's important. Hey, yeah, what matters to
Speaker 3: you most? Yes, so like reading it. It just does so
Speaker 3: much good for you. So you always find time to read.
Speaker 3: And I admire it so much. I wish I had
Speaker 3: a discipline.
Speaker 1: Without the same as cooking. It's healthy meals that you
Speaker 1: can make, and it's just so nice and relaxing. Yes,
Speaker 1: but it's just like all these little pockets at time,
Speaker 1: Like we said, you might go, I'm just gonna quickly
Speaker 1: check this time, get quickly check it. No, you kind
Speaker 1: of sit there for longer than you think. But if
Speaker 1: you just say to yourself, no, this whole hour, how
Speaker 1: much can you get done in an hour if you're
Speaker 1: your phone down and you don't get distracted.
Speaker 3: So productive that when she sleeps, if I don't have
Speaker 3: my phone, I will cook so many meals. The whole
Speaker 3: house is clean. I've read three chapters in my book. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but if on my phone, it goes by like that,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, what did I even do?
Speaker 1: Nothing?
Speaker 3: Wonded to DMS and eat. Oh I gota waited till Monday. Yeah,
Speaker 3: one thing Eden really helped. We keep mentioning this retreat.
Speaker 3: But this is where it all start. Yeah, it started
Speaker 3: for us, and it really changed so much of our life.
Speaker 3: But what I didn't realize I needed was time and
Speaker 3: space to process and grief. I think when I found
Speaker 3: out about my brain aneurysm and came to the decision
Speaker 3: to close down Baseline, I was processing it as much
Speaker 3: as I could. But even the moment I got home
Speaker 3: from the hospital from finding out that news, my kids
Speaker 3: are there, It's like I had to park it. I
Speaker 3: had to park it to the side and get on
Speaker 3: with being a mum. And the next day I had
Speaker 3: to go to work and life just goes on. And
Speaker 3: I was thinking about it, but I wasn't allowing a
Speaker 3: lot of time to process it. So I had the
Speaker 3: time to actually like breathe my old business. Even I
Speaker 3: know it's the right decision, there's still parts and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's sad, like that has been such a big part
Speaker 3: of my life and it's changed. And then just process
Speaker 3: the fact that I've had this health scare and I'm
Speaker 3: going to go through this surgery and there is risk involved,
Speaker 3: and yeah, I had time to just process that and
Speaker 3: come to peace with it. So I needed that time.
Speaker 3: But if you don't give yourself space, you do just
Speaker 3: park so much to the side, and over the years,
Speaker 3: like how much have we all suppressed? There's so many
Speaker 3: stored files and our brain, our body and our cells
Speaker 3: that were just stored there, and it becomes toxic and
Speaker 3: it comes out in anxiety and stress and other things
Speaker 3: because we're not moving through it. So it's really nice.
Speaker 3: I didn't realize how much I needed that moment, and
Speaker 3: it was just one day on the Saturday, had a
Speaker 3: long bath, I read heaps and I journaled so much,
Speaker 3: and I was sitting in the chair and I actually
Speaker 3: like set up my camera just to get like ten
Speaker 3: fifteen seconds for real of me journaling, and I just cried.
Speaker 3: I forgot the camera was even there. But I just
Speaker 3: cried and cried and cried. But it wasn't like a sad,
Speaker 3: no poor me cry, It was just just release. Tears
Speaker 3: were just like energy. It was just this energy that
Speaker 3: I was bottling in because the show must go on.
Speaker 3: But I just I had that space where I didn't
Speaker 3: have to be anywhere, I didn't have to attend anywhere.
Speaker 3: I wasn't going to get interrupted by anyone unless you
Speaker 3: knocked on my door, which you didn't. I keep sleeping
Speaker 3: f in a bath or something, but I just know
Speaker 3: I could just let it or go and release. But yeah,
Speaker 3: that was really really special for me. That's nice.
Speaker 1: It was really perfect timing for you.
Speaker 3: Oh, Like I keep saying, the universe has fully had
Speaker 3: my back, perfect perfect timing.
Speaker 1: I feel like it was one of the only times
Speaker 1: in my life where I actually completely switched off. I
Speaker 1: feel like when I'm at home and even if I
Speaker 1: put even if you put your phone down, there's the
Speaker 1: to do list of the stuff you're looking around the home,
Speaker 1: the mental load, but also having the no mental load,
Speaker 1: everyone looking after everything, and then also no phone to
Speaker 1: distract me.
Speaker 3: I feel like.
Speaker 1: It's one of the only times in my life where
Speaker 1: I've actually completely switched off and just been And it
Speaker 1: was really beautiful.
Speaker 3: One thing that I really really noticed and was one
Speaker 3: of the highlights of our old troop. And we also
Speaker 3: went with our two producers, which we have just grown
Speaker 3: such a nice bond with absolutely adore them, like I
Speaker 3: feel like they've been our friends forever and I feel
Speaker 3: so close with them and so comfortable with them and
Speaker 3: just the people now that I feel like if I
Speaker 3: was stuck with something or upset, like I could go
Speaker 3: to and they would just be there, like you could
Speaker 3: knock on their door and they would just open it up. Yep.
Speaker 3: And we got to spend the four days together and
Speaker 3: I just noticed beautiful conversations, like we have beautiful conversations
Speaker 3: on the podcast through voice note like whenever we see
Speaker 3: each other. But because there was no phones ever there,
Speaker 3: they never got interrupted. You guess someone you're with people
Speaker 3: and they just ran to pick up their phone or
Speaker 3: they quickly replied to someone or get interrupted by a
Speaker 3: phone call. I felt the connection really deepened between you
Speaker 3: and I and Katie and Jay because there was no distractions.
Speaker 3: We really got to go deep. We were all so
Speaker 3: present from not having any phones, and it just made
Speaker 3: me realize how beautiful the connections can be when you're
Speaker 3: not distracted by the outside noise on your phone. And
Speaker 3: that just really filled my heart and filled my cup
Speaker 3: up so much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I feel like too, because there were so
Speaker 1: many vulnerable moments that happened while you're there because you're
Speaker 1: not distracted to be able to actually go through all
Speaker 1: that together. It definitely deepens a connection.
Speaker 3: And everyone felt safe because they were so regulated to
Speaker 3: open up. Yeah, it just opened up more and more.
Speaker 3: It was so special. It was so nice. Yeah. The
Speaker 3: other thing that I just noticed was how long and
Speaker 3: slow the days were. Oh yeah. It was like I
Speaker 3: didn't even wear my watch because I didn't want to
Speaker 3: be distracted by steps or time or anything. It was
Speaker 3: just so nice to just not worry about where we're going,
Speaker 3: what we're doing, needing to be anywhere. Like I can't
Speaker 3: tell you as a parent how relaxing that is, because
Speaker 3: with kids it's like school drop off, pick up, school sports, her,
Speaker 3: nap times, feeding times, snack times, like everything's just there's
Speaker 3: so much going on all the time. To be able
Speaker 3: to just go with the flow, and there's up to
Speaker 3: eight activities you can do each day you can pick
Speaker 3: and choose or like those, we just did nothing. It
Speaker 3: was so nice, and that was just really made me
Speaker 3: really just drop in and be so present and just
Speaker 3: soak up every minute and every minute just felt so beautiful.
Speaker 3: And when you stop like that, you can also just
Speaker 3: notice the beauty in the world, world, in nature, in yourself,
Speaker 3: in other people, in like freaking butterfly that flies past
Speaker 3: you just like noticing all those little moments.
Speaker 1: You're not missing them passing by by looking down at
Speaker 1: your phone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you miss so much. That was really nice, just
Speaker 3: to just enjoy the day and how long they were
Speaker 3: loved it. Even though it went fast, it went slow
Speaker 3: as well. It did.
Speaker 1: I feel like we could fit so much.
Speaker 3: In because ofhis Yeah. And then the last thing for
Speaker 3: me was just how regulated I felt. I felt so calm.
Speaker 3: I've never ever in my life experienced that level of calmness.
Speaker 3: I think it really started for me for my first
Speaker 3: treatment on the first day, which was such good timing,
Speaker 3: Like that massage I had. I've never had a massage
Speaker 3: like that. It was incredible. But you saw me, I
Speaker 3: was like in an altered state.
Speaker 1: It looks like you'd had like a forty eight hour sleep,
Speaker 1: or she like had a hair off with her eyes.
Speaker 1: She's like or.
Speaker 3: Taken like a brownie or something. Right. I was just
Speaker 3: like off on another planet. I remember just trying to
Speaker 3: string my sentences together and I was like, I can't
Speaker 3: even express how I feel. I felt so calm, like I.
Speaker 1: Can talk right now, And I was like, that's fine, babe, honestly,
Speaker 1: but I was like this kind of level of vibration, Like,
Speaker 1: this is what I want to be on more much
Speaker 1: if I felt like this calm and happy all the time.
Speaker 3: And obviously that's not reality, but like I keep saying,
Speaker 3: it's just tapping into that more often, to have more
Speaker 3: moments in our day, in our week, in our month
Speaker 3: of that energy. Yeah, but I think so much of
Speaker 3: us are in this go go go hustle. Has a hustle.
Speaker 3: It becomes our normal to be stressed and in a
Speaker 3: shitty state all the time, and then a year goes
Speaker 3: by and it's like, oh, that was a shit. Yeah no,
Speaker 3: we don't want that. It's up to us to be
Speaker 3: conscious and aware. And this is the thing. I know.
Speaker 3: Not everyone can get to a retreat, but if you can,
Speaker 3: it really is a total new reset.
Speaker 1: It really is you what you can do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it shows you what's possible. It allows you to
Speaker 3: experience those energies, and then you learn so much about
Speaker 3: yourself and about your life. You reevaluate everything. So it
Speaker 3: really is such a good reset. So I feel like
Speaker 3: if you're feeling really lost or stuck or confused, or
Speaker 3: going through a divorce or something really hard finding out
Speaker 3: a health scaree like this has just been such the
Speaker 3: perfect reset for me to be like, Okay, this is
Speaker 3: how I want to enter and how I'm choosing to
Speaker 3: enter into my next season or chapter. That was really cool.
Speaker 3: So what have you implemented since like leaving.
Speaker 1: The biggest thing is obviously being off my phone shitload
Speaker 1: more like so much more.
Speaker 3: So tell us about a boundary, like how have you
Speaker 3: done that?
Speaker 1: I've turned every single notification except for phone calls, even
Speaker 1: text messages. I check them in the morning, I check
Speaker 1: them in the ARVO when I have space and time.
Speaker 1: So rather than it going off and me being like, oh,
Speaker 1: I need to get back to that person, that's who
Speaker 1: I am. Like when I see it and I know
Speaker 1: it's there, it keeps replaying in my mind. But if
Speaker 1: I haven't seen it or opened it yet, then when
Speaker 1: I go to check it, I'm like, oh, these few
Speaker 1: people have messaged me. And then I get back. You know,
Speaker 1: and you're probably.
Speaker 3: More present as well, definitely is you're ready.
Speaker 1: And I have space and time to like really like
Speaker 1: write out a beautiful message back to my girlfriend or
Speaker 1: be present with the things that I want to say
Speaker 1: and really listen as well, So like if you send
Speaker 1: me a voice message about something that's going on, rather
Speaker 1: be like listening and kids screaming in the background and
Speaker 1: trying to do this and trying to do that, I'm
Speaker 1: like upstairs on my own, I'm like, oh my gosh, okay,
Speaker 1: what would I like? You know what I mean? I
Speaker 1: can actually take the time out to really respond. So
Speaker 1: I think that's been a huge one for me, And
Speaker 1: saying with all my email notifications, just every single thing
Speaker 1: on my phone is turned off, but my phone calls
Speaker 1: because I'm like, if anyone desperately needs me, they can
Speaker 1: call me, you know. So that's been a huge one.
Speaker 1: And then other boundaries is just literally leaving it alone
Speaker 1: more and it's hard. I catch myself still. I'm like
Speaker 1: Kiara and like, look at the screen. Time on your
Speaker 1: phone is a really good way to kind of look
Speaker 1: at that, maybe give yourself a goal that you want
Speaker 1: to hit, or even get it down a bit. But
Speaker 1: like for me, it takes away from so much like
Speaker 1: even me trying to tap into that feminine energy or
Speaker 1: like think about the wife I want to be with
Speaker 1: my husband when the kids go down. If I don't
Speaker 1: ring my phone upstairs with me when I'm getting ready
Speaker 1: in the evening. I find it's beautiful. I can go
Speaker 1: up there, take my time in the shower with some
Speaker 1: music on the Google Play, and take my time getting
Speaker 1: all nice and ready for bed, think about my husband,
Speaker 1: think about the things I'm grateful for the day. I'm
Speaker 1: not being distracted by my phone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've had my notifications off for a long time,
Speaker 3: and I love that. I love that you've done that
Speaker 3: because I never know if I get to text, message
Speaker 3: and tool, like even on your home screen. I've got
Speaker 3: my Snapchat because Tash is with Tala. Yeah, that's the
Speaker 3: only notification that I've got. I have to actually unlock
Speaker 3: my phone and then like, oh, I've got a message.
Speaker 1: See mine doesn't even show up down there. Oh so
Speaker 1: it's not until I actually click into it now that
Speaker 1: it will come up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've got the little red thing on there. That's
Speaker 3: good when you click into a Yeah, because if my
Speaker 3: baby just tried to reach out, I want to make
Speaker 3: sure I can like see that. And something I did
Speaker 3: about six months ago is in the afternoon, I'll leave
Speaker 3: my phone in my room. I've been trying to do
Speaker 3: that more. Yeah, So like whenever I can whenever I
Speaker 3: feel like I just want to keep checking or I
Speaker 3: don't know, I'll just leave it in my room. It's
Speaker 3: on weekends, I've been doing it a lot more. And
Speaker 3: when I go out on the weekends, i've been not
Speaker 3: taking my phone.
Speaker 1: Well that's nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And if I want to capture like a cute
Speaker 3: video thing, I know sed he's got his phone with him.
Speaker 3: I'm with the kids. No one needs to contact me
Speaker 3: that urgently. So I'll leave my phone at home purposely,
Speaker 3: which is really nice because I feel the same like
Speaker 3: I feel like I need to show up on stories
Speaker 3: and be on the all the time, and I enjoy that.
Speaker 3: I love creating content. But I've been leaving it at
Speaker 3: home for parts of the time and go out and
Speaker 3: I'm just so much more present with the kids.
Speaker 1: So good. I feel like too when I'm getting on
Speaker 1: Stories now, I'm going on there with more purpose. I
Speaker 1: don't feel like I need to go on there to
Speaker 1: just be like, you know, check in or do this.
Speaker 1: I'm like going on there when I have somebody to
Speaker 1: share it, or something cute to show, or you know,
Speaker 1: some moment to make another mom feel.
Speaker 3: More valuable to exactly I'm not just going.
Speaker 1: On there fluffing around. And because I'm off my phone,
Speaker 1: I'm experiencing more and I'm learning more about myself. More
Speaker 1: to share, yes, more purpose like purposeful content to share
Speaker 1: when I got on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just here, stronger boundaries around the phone, and I
Speaker 3: just know how good I felt stuff. I want to
Speaker 3: keep feeling like that. I need to implement more of that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: But it's a fine balance. And like as we're talking
Speaker 3: all of this, Yeah, I won't lie. It's not easy,
Speaker 3: and there is some days and I'm still like, I
Speaker 3: still go on my phone first thing in the morning,
Speaker 3: but I've definitely broken that habits not as often anymore.
Speaker 3: And I think when I don't have baseline, it'll be
Speaker 3: instant easy for me because I won't have the stress
Speaker 3: the pressure of the staff to attend to. Yeah, like
Speaker 3: I do now, I'm really excited for it.
Speaker 1: That does make it really hard when you've got stuff
Speaker 1: and things to darn it. I feel like I was
Speaker 1: regularly checking my phone a lot in the morning when
Speaker 1: we had you know, Heed's going on.
Speaker 3: It's a boss you kind of I don't know if
Speaker 3: it's a story, but you kind of have to be
Speaker 3: on if your staff are waiting for something and you've
Speaker 3: put a deadline and you're not replying. They don't know
Speaker 3: what to do with the website or the stock or
Speaker 3: updating this or prices or anything.
Speaker 1: So on calls and sick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know before the dates you have then exactly,
Speaker 3: you do need to be on so much more. So
Speaker 3: I'm really looking forward to not having that, and I
Speaker 3: think it's going to be so much easier for me
Speaker 3: to implement way less phone time as we're sharing all
Speaker 3: of this. It's not easy, but it's possible, and it's
Speaker 3: just taking small steps. So if you find you're definitely
Speaker 3: addicted and you're not having time to meditate or go
Speaker 3: to the gym or whatever, I just look at your
Speaker 3: screen time, catch yourself.
Speaker 1: That's a hard truth when you look at your screen time.
Speaker 3: Even at nighttime, like maybe your phone in your bedroom
Speaker 3: and when you're watching Netflix, like get down and stretch
Speaker 3: or like connect with your partner, like just fill those
Speaker 3: gaps in with more beautiful moments that are more important
Speaker 3: to you. Love that, Yeah, but you've got to be
Speaker 3: so aware. You've got to have so much self awareness.
Speaker 1: And even the connecting part. How you said that when
Speaker 1: I'm going to my shower in that. That's such a
Speaker 1: nice time now that I've found before I used to
Speaker 1: freaking do not what I used to do. I used
Speaker 1: to put YouTube on and stick it on the screen
Speaker 1: in my shower and watch a YouTube video whilest having
Speaker 1: a shower, and I'd be like, oh, I'm watching like
Speaker 1: fun videos and that, and now like I love not anything,
Speaker 1: just connecting with myself. Yes, you know, I have that
Speaker 1: as a moment, and that's kind of like one of
Speaker 1: those anchors in my day. It's an anchor where I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: bring it all back to you. And I feel like
Speaker 1: the connecting part, Like, you're exactly right, I'm not scrolling
Speaker 1: and checking my phone now when I'm laying and watching
Speaker 1: a TV show or movie with my husband, I'm cuddling
Speaker 1: with him and we're like laughing together and I'm not
Speaker 1: like missing things and half watching and half exactly a present.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't have phone at night and family and
Speaker 3: with Steve, it's just not worth it for what, Yeah
Speaker 3: to watch a couple of funny videos or something. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I want to watch a funny video, get up on
Speaker 3: the TV and all snuggling together and watch it together.
Speaker 3: You know have those moments. Yeah, so huge takeaways, huge
Speaker 3: lessons and huge things to implement. So even if you
Speaker 3: can take one or two of these away and trial
Speaker 3: it and just feel the impact it has on you
Speaker 3: and your connection your family, it's so worth it.
Speaker 1: So worth it. And if you do try it, come
Speaker 1: over to the forum and let us know what you're
Speaker 1: doing to make it easier and also how you're feeling.
Speaker 3: M hmm. PS. If someone tells you that you can't
Speaker 3: do something, they are showing you their limits, their beliefs,
Speaker 3: not yours. That's so true you can't do something. It's
Speaker 3: like that's their own projection. Who says you can't do
Speaker 3: something because they say? Someone says that to me, it
Speaker 3: makes me want to do it more. Amena that if
Speaker 3: people told me I couldn't be a personal trainer, I
Speaker 3: was like you watch yeah, I'll show you yeah.
Speaker 1: Ps. Stop chasing distraction, normalize stillness, silence, being alone or bored.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we needed detox from overstimulation, to ground and calm our.
Speaker 3: Body beautiful, very relevant, very relevant, love it. Thanks so
Speaker 3: much for joining us.
Speaker 1: We'll see you Wednesday.
Speaker 3: By bye.