WEBVTT - Reflect on the Year That Was With Carly Taylor

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<v Speaker 1>Hey everyone, it's Curi here for this week's Mojo Monday. So,

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<v Speaker 1>given where a couple of days out from New Year's Eve,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought i'd offer a suggestion that you might want

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<v Speaker 1>to add to whatever you're doing with your New Year's

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<v Speaker 1>kind of intentions. It's not instead of setting goals or

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<v Speaker 1>not instead of setting resolutions. It just kind of works

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<v Speaker 1>alongside them. But I mean, speaking of resolutions, we know

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<v Speaker 1>from research that most New Year's resolutions do not last

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<v Speaker 1>much longer than a few weeks because motivation fades and

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<v Speaker 1>life gets busy, and we often slip back into old patterns,

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<v Speaker 1>which is not a personal failing, it's just how humans

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<v Speaker 1>tend to work. So before we rush into goal setting

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<v Speaker 1>for the year ahead, I wanted to invite you to

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<v Speaker 1>pause and reflect on the year that was. So we had,

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<v Speaker 1>of course, three hundred and sixty five days, which is

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<v Speaker 1>a long time, and it's long enough to have days

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<v Speaker 1>or moments of joy and pride, and moments that felt

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<v Speaker 1>fairly neutral and kind of blah, and moments that were

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<v Speaker 1>genuinely hard, and some challenges might have been manageable and

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<v Speaker 1>others may have really pushed you right to the edge.

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<v Speaker 1>So Greg Creech, who is my mentor in Japanese psychology.

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<v Speaker 1>He has spent decades translating Marita therapy into practical, everyday tools,

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<v Speaker 1>and he talks about the importance of reviewing the year

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<v Speaker 1>with honesty and kindness, so not to judge ourselves, not

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<v Speaker 1>to try and fix anything, not to fix the past,

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<v Speaker 1>but to understand how we lived. So yes, absolutely reflect

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<v Speaker 1>on your achievements, and of course that matters, but I

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<v Speaker 1>would also encourage you to spend time reflecting on the challenges,

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<v Speaker 1>so you could ask yourself, how did I respond when

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<v Speaker 1>things were difficult, what emotions showed up for me, How

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<v Speaker 1>did those emotions influence my behavior, my choices, or my relationships.

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<v Speaker 1>Where did I cope well, even if I coped imperfectly,

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<v Speaker 1>and where did I struggle? And what does that tell

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<v Speaker 1>me about being human? Because the key here is around

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<v Speaker 1>curiosity rather than judgment, because judgment tends to collapse us

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<v Speaker 1>into shame or defensiveness, whereas curiosity really creates this space

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<v Speaker 1>and it allows us to look at our experience with

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<v Speaker 1>a little distance, without being consumed by it. And I'll

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<v Speaker 1>share a personal example from my own year. So in

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<v Speaker 1>twenty twenty five, one of my biggest challenges was Paul,

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<v Speaker 1>who had opened the heart surgery, so as you can imagine,

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<v Speaker 1>that brought up a lot of crystal ball thinking about

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<v Speaker 1>what could go wrong, and saying goodbye before the surgery

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<v Speaker 1>was really really hard. Waiting for that surgeon's call was harder,

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<v Speaker 1>and looking back, the worry was there, and of course

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<v Speaker 1>it was because he's my husband and I'm human. But

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<v Speaker 1>I can also see that I managed myself reasonably well

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<v Speaker 1>in a very challenging situation. So I really intentionally placed

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<v Speaker 1>my attention on the trust in the surgeon and the

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<v Speaker 1>surgical team and on hope, rather than feeding that spiral

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<v Speaker 1>of fearful thoughts. So the anxiety around it didn't disappear,

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<v Speaker 1>but it didn't run the show either. So that reflection

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<v Speaker 1>really matters, not because I did it perfectly, but because

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<v Speaker 1>it helps me see my capacity So great Creech reminds

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<v Speaker 1>us that reflect action is not about rewriting the past.

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<v Speaker 1>It's about accepting what happened, acknowledging our efforts, and leaning

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<v Speaker 1>towards how we tend to respond when life gets hard.

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<v Speaker 1>So he consistently returns to attention, behavior, responsibility, and acceptance

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<v Speaker 1>of our emotional reality. So when we do this, something

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<v Speaker 1>really powerful happens. We make room for who we were,

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<v Speaker 1>then we accept who we are right now, and then

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<v Speaker 1>we quietly strengthen our ability to meet future challenges with

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit more steadiness. So as you head into

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<v Speaker 1>the new year, I invite you to reflect before you resolve.

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<v Speaker 1>So let the year that was teach you something about

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<v Speaker 1>your resilience, your limits, your values, and your humanity. Growth

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<v Speaker 1>starts with understanding ourselves, and I think this is a

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<v Speaker 1>really good opportunity, a really good time to reflect on

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<v Speaker 1>ourselves and the year that was, and then from there

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<v Speaker 1>action will then follow naturally. Thank you for joining me

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<v Speaker 1>this week and I will catch you next Monday. Sea