WEBVTT - #2146 Optimising Your Energy - Bobby Cappuccio 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:03.960 I got a team. It's a laughing Tiff and a 0:00:04.000 --> 0:00:08.240 smiling Bobby and me in the middle of both of them. Well, 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:12.159 not literally or virtually, I should say, we don't need 0:00:12.200 --> 0:00:15.400 a Craig Tiff and Bobby sandwich. That'd be fucking tasty, 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:22.079 wouln't it? Definitely? Oh no, don't care. There. Hi everyone, 0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:25.320 Hi Bobby, Let's start with you. Hi, Bobby, Hey, Greg? 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:30.720 Much better response time, well done, straight away, so proud, 0:00:31.040 --> 0:00:34.720 so proud. Tiffany and Cook sent me a message at 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:40.080 at ten fifty seven, recording time eleven, saying can I 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:41.200 be five minutes late? 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:44.320 I would like you to start with the beginning of 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:47.440 this story. Now that you've brought that up. Great, what 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:49.239 have I twenty minutes that? 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:53.559 Well, I may or may not have informed you that Bobby, 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:57.080 in his selfishness, had moved the time another day. 0:00:57.080 --> 0:00:57.400 All right. 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:00.960 It might have been Bobby and I or maybe even 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:06.319 mostly me, And the thought was, well, I did look 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:08.280 at the thing, and it didn't say that you were 0:01:08.280 --> 0:01:08.920 on this show. 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:10.160 Actually it did. 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.800 That is a fib not when I look at it. 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:17.680 Whoa jumbo speaking. 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:22.679 To contesting all the details of this story? All right, 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:25.800 I'm hearing about this all right? Now that I have 0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:28.800 all the evidence, I'm going to make a deliberation. You're 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:30.320 both at fault. Let's carry on. 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:36.480 Bobby, if you just said before we started recording your 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:42.360 four dollars ninety nine per minute voice, could you I 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:44.560 see is that? What is that? What? Ladies? 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:45.720 The joke there? 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:48.680 Well, I didn't know. I don't know. Is that how much? 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:50.120 Who gets paid that? 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:50.520 To do? 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:53.360 What? Just to talk to desperate men or something? 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:56.440 Yeah? Oh do they? 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:56.400 Why? 0:01:58.000 --> 0:01:58.080 Hi? 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:00.360 John? How should open that? 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:03.040 Exactly exactly? It sounded just like me? 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:03.320 Then? 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:08.440 How are you feeling? Oh? God? Could you imagine? Sorry? Sorry, 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:10.520 the John's out there that do that. I'm being a 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:16.200 bit insensitive. But anyway, what's the lady that you call? 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:21.120 What's her name? Again? Bobby? You told me? Is it parents? Time? 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:21.960 Or money? For that? 0:02:25.639 --> 0:02:28.520 I don't respond from Brooklyn by any chance? 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:30.560 Are you forget about it? 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:35.000 Well? Now I want to talk about today. 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:37.240 I got some I got some time back in my day. 0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:40.760 Well, the podcast will go for twenty minutes less if 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:48.560 you fucking reduce your response times, that's for sure. How 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:51.160 come the podcast takes two hours? Have you listened to 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:57.320 the gaps? Or should I say the non speaking sections anyway, 0:02:57.560 --> 0:03:01.679 that's all right, we love you. So I want to 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:06.480 talk today about something that often is the case where 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:08.560 it's a flow on out of a conversation I had, 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:13.960 which was this morning with someone around. We're talking about 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:17.720 the way that we use our energy, our energy, our 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:22.120 personal like Craigtiff, Bobby, it's not an infinite resource, it's 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:24.840 not limitless. We hit the wall, we get tired, we're fucked. 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:26.480 We've got to sleep, we've got to stop, we've got 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:29.079 to slow down, we've got to hit the pause button. 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:34.519 And so it would seem that how we use our 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:38.040 energy in terms of what we want to do be, create, change, move, 0:03:38.200 --> 0:03:42.520 achieve matters a lot. And I am a person who 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:46.640 has been both very productive with my time and energy 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:50.120 and also very wasteful at times. So I want to 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:53.120 start now. This is going to require both of you 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:56.320 to give it a little bit of thought and be 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:58.320 brave because I want to go deep and I might 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:01.280 throw my bit in as well. But so question one 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:04.640 for both of you is how do you both currently 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.320 waste energy? What is a thing or what is a 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:10.360 habit or a ritual or an unconscious thing that you 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:14.320 do that you recognize is not a good use of 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:15.760 time or. 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:21.400 Energy counting not counting cat videos on Instagram. 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:23.840 Well, I'll leave that up to you. You might see 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:26.800 that as part of your therapy, which God knows you need. 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:29.880 So if it's meeting some kind of emotional or psychological 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:33.360 or mental health need, what's your wait? If what's what 0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:34.680 for you? 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:39.520 Scrolling social media? I'm an issue with it at the 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.560 moment with myself, like I want to I want to 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:45.320 get rid of it a lot. I think I'm going 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:46.400 to take it off my phones again. 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:49.920 But I've heard you say that ten times, like how 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:51.479 are you going to do? Like this is the thing 0:04:51.560 --> 0:04:53.520 and I've done the same thing, right, So I'm not 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.599 throwing you under the bus because I feel like a 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:59.599 lot of us recognize things that we currently do that's 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:03.160 not not valuable, essentially a waste of energy and time. 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:08.719 Yet we don't proactively do anything for longer than three 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:10.880 days and then we go back to what we did, 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:14.680 Like what would your plan be? Firstly, if I said 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:18.720 not your plan? B your plan A? Like if I 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:20.800 said to you, do you want to stop that scrolling 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:24.120 for like a week or a month or forever? Like 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:26.760 still using your phone? But just not burning time and 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:30.000 energy on mindless scrolling. I'm guessing you would say, I 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:33.719 want that to be a permanent change, right, yes, So 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:36.440 what does that look like for you? Like, how do 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:40.360 you actually when you've probably got like me and I'm 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:45.720 guessing Cat video Man years of scrolling behaviors, like even 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:48.680 for me, I do it less. Honestly, I do do 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:50.640 it quite a bit less, but I still do it. 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:55.000 I still So what's your plan like, because I'm asking 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:57.920 this because firstly, listeners, there's no set plan that's going 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:01.039 to work for everyone. But I think everyone listening or 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:03.880 eighty percent will go yeah, that's me as well. So 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:07.120 how do we actually change it? Not just talk about it? 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:10.120 So one of the first things I've started doing, which 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:12.279 I did for a long time and then stopped, Like 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:16.320 we find reasons to stop for a week, we like, yeah, 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:20.120 so phone out of the room at night, because then 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:21.760 you can't pick it up in the morning. You have 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:23.120 to think about it, and it has to be a 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:26.760 deliberate action to go and get it to do that. 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:29.720 So if I don't sleep with it in my room 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:32.520 of a night, which stopped because I would be chatting 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:35.320 to Scottie of a night, so I'd have my phone 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:37.400 and talk to him and pop in bed. We'd keep 0:06:37.440 --> 0:06:39.320 chatting and then I'd hang up, So then it's there. 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:42.719 And then that I used to my sleep improved a 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:45.200 lot when I took it out of my room, so 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:48.720 I've reinstated that, Like I can keep my headphones on 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:51.160 and put the phone in the kitchen and hep in 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:53.000 bed and still talk and then when the phone call 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:57.040 hangs up, it disconnects. Yes, So that's that's the first thing. 0:06:57.040 --> 0:07:01.279 And the other thing I think is in your relationship 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:04.760 with social media and just getting honest about the cost 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:09.120 of it and then putting barriers in place. Like I've 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:12.560 used apps they don't work because they work for a 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:14.360 little while, but then I end up switching them off 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:16.360 for just to go do one quick thing. It's hard 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:18.720 because I use it for business, I use it for 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:22.520 posting reels, I use it for engagement on my podcast. 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:27.280 But I've got other devices, and for a period of time, 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:28.920 I took the apps off my phone. So if I 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:32.040 wanted to access Facebook, I had to use the URL 0:07:32.400 --> 0:07:36.160 like the meat web browser, and that worked amazingly. 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:38.480 But then why do you stop? Why did you stop? 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:40.440 Because I changed back to an old phone because my 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:42.760 phone's crapped itself, and now and then I've just gotten 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:45.200 back straight back into the old habit and away we're young. 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:49.440 M all right, let's go back and forth a bit. 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:54.880 But Bobby, what do you waste time on? Rumination? 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.040 Yeah? I ruminate a lot? Yeah? 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:01.720 Yeah? Is there a main focus or is it anything? 0:08:02.920 --> 0:08:09.480 Oh? Proa Now it's it's it's when I think I've 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:16.400 done something that is going to let somebody down. I've 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:18.520 noticed that's a big trigger. It's like, well, what if 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:21.280 I did this? What if I did that? Like even 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:23.520 when we were moving, like we're in the process of 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:28.840 moving right now, and it's like every decision is hmm, 0:08:29.360 --> 0:08:31.360 would have been a better decision if I had done 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:34.480 this versus do that? Should I have moved here or 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:35.400 should I have moved there? 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:36.079 Ah? 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:38.320 Well, what would happen if you know, I chose this 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:43.240 call the scheme versus? And it's all around what if 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:47.600 somebody is not completely happy? Or what if I'm not 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:51.920 optimizing my environment and I'm not as productive as it 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:54.640 could be, and then I let somebody else down? And 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:56.240 it's like that's kind of interesting. 0:08:56.679 --> 0:09:03.400 Psychologically, what is what is itotential answer or pot answer 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:06.200 to that, like that seems like a big one. That 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:10.640 seems like an unconscious, almost involuntary river that you're swimming 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:13.120 in and it's controlling you. You're not controlling in. 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:18.880 Yeah, if I had to guess this is just again 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:22.239 my perspective, it could be a lot because this is complicated. 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:28.839 Maybe it's the fact that it's approval seeking may or 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:31.439 maybe it comes from you know, and we talked about 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:34.880 this on the show before. Maybe it comes from where 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:40.280 if I did something wrong or got disapproval, even in 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:45.800 the slightest way, the punishments were extreme, and I've gotten 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:48.120 a lot better at that because now I recognize I 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:50.520 was like, oh, this isn't me, this is my rumination, 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:54.480 Like it's not Bobby sitting here going back and forth. 0:09:56.720 --> 0:10:00.840 Somewhere around fifty percent of the time, I can now recognize, no, no, no, 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:02.200 this is just how I'm prois in the situation. This 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:06.320 is just a condition response in me to where before 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:08.840 one of the time it's like, oh my goodness, why 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:14.160 are you like this? I'm not. So I'm getting better 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:17.240 at this progressively, far from what I need to be. 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:20.920 But those are possible root causes. 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:23.720 Do you think that we Yeah, do you think that 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:28.080 most of our energy wasting? I kind of hate to 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:32.440 think how much energy and time and not that I 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:35.800 don't think any of life's not about productivity and efficiency 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:39.400 and box sticking and constantly meeting the requirements of the 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:41.120 to do list and then we look up and where 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:44.280 ad and we're fucked. But geez, we've been productive but miserable. Right, 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:47.760 So of course it's a balance. But do you think 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:50.960 most of the stuff that we regret, like I regret 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:54.920 wasting a lot of time on social media and a 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:57.560 little bit like you may be looking for approval because 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:01.040 I was insecure or because of all my own bullshit. 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:05.400 But do you think that's conscious or unconscious? I feel 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:09.240 like maybe I'm like, we're kind of aware of it, 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:12.440 but in the moment, we're not aware. TI. 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.320 I think that's I think that's true. I mean, there's 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:18.280 a lot that we you know, we might be consciously 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:21.600 aware of, but human behavior is so complex that if 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:23.240 you take a look at the things that we're aware of, 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:26.240 there's probably a lot more underneath the surface that not 0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:29.200 only are we not aware of, we would never even 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.280 consider it. I know I've talked about this particular book 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:37.720 I've talked about Sapolski's book Determined and Behaved. Those two books, 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:42.079 while not an easy read, is a fascinating reader. And 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:44.880 if you could go through those two books and still 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:49.680 believe you understand everything about why you do something, or 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:54.640 even funnier, why somebody else does something, read those books again, 0:11:56.520 --> 0:12:01.160 it's it's fascinating. I think there's also not just this 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:06.600 unconscious element of why we do things we don't want 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:07.840 to do, but what's the payoff? 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:09.439 Somewhere? 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:14.400 Tiffany staying up and not removing those apps from her 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:18.160 phone is getting a benefit from scrolling on social media 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:20.680 because I used to do the same thing. I had 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:24.520 my apps on you know, completely different device. Then I 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.120 had to go away for a while and then bring 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:27.880 that device. So I put all my apps back on 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:30.360 my main phone. I haven't taken them off, and I 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:35.559 was markedly better. So somewhere there's a benefit there for me. Yes, 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:38.320 it's conditioning and I've been doing it for a while, 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:43.000 but there's a benefit in my rumination. There's a benefit 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:46.080 in my self flagillation, there's a benefit in my scrolling, 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:50.240 and I think that creates ambivalence and in both of 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:53.000 those the things that we don't want, the consequences and 0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:56.079 the benefits we're getting. There's elements that are conscious, and 0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:59.520 then there's also elements that we have no idea. 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:05.160 Yeah. Yeah. The other day I was at office works 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:08.920 for our American friends and international friends. That's you know 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:11.600 those joints. I don't know is that international or only 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:15.000 Australian TIF Bobby, do you have office works over there? 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:17.400 I believe we do. Yeah. 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:21.360 It's like a great, big joint that supplies no office 0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:25.560 works is like a big giant Oh. Actually yeah, everything 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:30.000 from whiteboard markers to desks, to computers, phones, like it's 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:34.640 the one stop shopped, even bloody coffee for the staff room. Yeah. Anyway, 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:36.319 I was there and I was buying some other stuff, 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:39.400 and I was looking at some dumb phones. They call 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:41.880 them dumb phones. I don't have. They're officially called that. 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.960 But it's an analog phone or whatever that is. Is 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:48.840 that the right term? Analog? Anyway, it's got no Internet access. 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:53.920 It's not you know, can't you can't look at any 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.040 you can't put apps on it, you can't look at 0:13:56.640 --> 0:14:00.280 it doesn't get emails. It's like it's a phone. It's 0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:03.880 got big numbers, and I bought one for the old man. 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:05.960 He doesn't know this yet, but anyway, I bought one, 0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:10.560 and I thought, this is what I should have. I 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:13.000 should have so not all the time, but half my 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.960 day I use this number, and the eight people in 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:19.440 the world who have to have to be able to 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:24.280 have access to me, they have this number. But I 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:28.200 can't get distracted because it doesn't do anything. So then 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:32.200 my thought is to put go to the cafe, do 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:34.840 my bizo between kind of six and eight, then turn 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:37.960 that phone off, then turn the other one on till 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:41.120 about four, and then I've got eight hours through the 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.680 day where I can't pick and put that phone somewhere 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:47.200 else and turn it off, and then people can still 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:52.000 contact me or reach me, but I can't get distracted. 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:54.320 What do you think of that, Tiff as a concept. 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:57.280 I love it because I always think of remember how 0:14:57.280 --> 0:15:00.240 we've talked about how if you're for even if your 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:02.440 phone is off, if it's in the same room as 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:06.160 you have ten percent cognitive decline. So I think about, 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:09.720 even if there's not apps on the phone, your relationship 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:11.960 up to this point is that device has all of 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:15.000 this in it and the potential for it where when 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:16.880 that's not there, the thoughts like when it's not in 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:20.480 the bedroom, I can't help my brain looked for it. 0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:22.520 The first time I ever removed it from my bedroom, 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:27.600 I would have these I wouldn't recognize my brain going, oh, 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:29.840 we've got to know this or we've got to do 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.320 that a reason to pick it up and look something 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:34.800 up or write something down, and I was like, no, 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:37.880 it's not it. We can't go to sleep, brain. 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.960 Yeah. Yeah, Anyway, That's something I'm thinking about because I 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:46.280 need something that's practical, because otherwise I'll just like something 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:50.320 that means I actually can't access it, because I don't 0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:53.400 know that with that, mister willpower, I don't know that 0:15:53.440 --> 0:15:56.080 I have the willpower or that in the moment awareness, 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:58.680 Like I'm picking it up and looking at shit, and 0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:00.880 I know I've made a decision, but I don't feel 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:02.920 like I've made a decision, you know what I mean. 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:07.080 It's like it's just I know it's not unconscious, but 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:08.680 it kind of feels like it. 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:09.440 All right. 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:13.200 So my next question for both of you is, so, 0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:17.280 when you are in more of a conscious space, how 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:22.080 do you decide where to invest your energy physical, mental, 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:28.080 emotional energy and maybe how to allocate that in terms 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:32.040 of some kind of productivity hierarchy or whatever, like do 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:37.520 you make conscious decisions about your emotional, energetic, and even 0:16:37.600 --> 0:16:39.680 time investment? Bobby? 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.440 Yeah, And it depends on what I've got on day 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:46.600 to day, Because I, like you, things pop up. I mean, 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:51.000 all three of us, we're two weeks from now. My 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:54.600 day could look very different now versus three days from now. 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:58.720 When somebody puts a request then, but I'll ask myself. 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:04.600 I find that questions are more powerful for me then 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:09.960 determined statements. Okay, I'm going to focus on this where 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:14.320 it's like, okay, what is the single most important thing 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:17.480 I need to do today if I did nothing else, 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:21.880 what one thing has the highest payoff if done? And 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:24.760 the flip side of that is what one thing has 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:30.240 the greatest consequences if not done? Because I get distracted 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:32.800 very easily. So I could have ten things on my 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:37.119 to do list, but one of them matters most to 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:41.720 my career, to my job, my organization, and three of 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:43.880 them it's like, oh wow, I need to get this done. 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:47.960 But if I don't do it today, the consequences are well, 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:50.920 not that much, if any at all. So that's an 0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:51.920 easy one for. 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:56.040 Me, And what's the mental sorry, what's the mental and 0:17:56.080 --> 0:18:00.920 emotional pathway to that being? Like? None, I'm doing it now. 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:03.520 I'm not talking about it with some friends. I'm doing 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:08.560 it like I feel like if there was no choice, 0:18:09.119 --> 0:18:12.600 Like if magically, all of a sudden, you know, iPhones 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:14.919 and apps and the like weren't a thing we go 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:17.320 ah and in a week, we'd adapt because they're not 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:19.400 there anymore. So we don't think about it, we don't 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:21.680 obsess about it, we don't reach for it because it's 0:18:21.760 --> 0:18:24.719 just not an option. How do we have a version 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:28.280 of that in our own kind of world that we 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.480 create where it's like with me, I can drink beer 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:34.400 whenever I want, but I don't drink beer or booze ever, 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:37.600 not because I'm better than anyone, Because in my mind, 0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:39.679 that's not an option. It's not a thing I do. 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:41.880 I don't reach for it. Would I like it? Maybe 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:44.280 I would like it? Would it make me feel good? Probably? 0:18:44.359 --> 0:18:47.320 I don't know. But you know, when you have something 0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:49.119 in your head where you go, that's just not a 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:51.879 thing I do. And that's absolute, that's not dependent on 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:57.080 willpower or self control or situational awareness. But you know, 0:18:57.119 --> 0:18:59.760 how do we have that kind of alcohol kind of 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:03.240 thing like I do with some other habit that's also 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:08.240 potentially destructive or unproductive. How do we get from the 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:10.840 idea now to the reality in our life? 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:15.040 Wow, that's I think that's a complicated question because there's 0:19:15.800 --> 0:19:18.840 practices that we engage in that are conditioned that that 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:20.800 may not serve us. I mean maybe at one time 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:23.400 they did. And then there's the whole thing around addiction 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:26.480 and what drives that. So, I mean, if there was 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:31.280 no oxygen in my room, I just wouldn't breathe, and 0:19:31.520 --> 0:19:33.359 because I'd have no choice. 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:35.440 It definitely wouldn't use your apps, though. 0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:39.320 Definitely not definitely, not not for very long. I mean 0:19:39.400 --> 0:19:41.560 that's a serious problem. If I'm gasping for hour and 0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:45.000 I'm like, oh god, I'm alive for another sixty seconds, 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:47.560 that's one more cat video I can get in. 0:19:47.800 --> 0:19:50.840 Yeah, let me just check my ij stats. 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:55.600 That's a serious issue. But yeah, it's it's like, Okay, 0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:58.240 of course I wouldn't breathe because I have no access 0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:01.240 to oxygen. But if I have I have ox access 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:04.840 to oxygen, I'm gonna do everything I can to take 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:09.080 that one more breath. I think that's a different situation 0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:13.440 than forming your identity around I'm just not the type 0:20:13.480 --> 0:20:16.439 of person who does this, you know. For me, I 0:20:16.480 --> 0:20:19.919 think my identity is around the gym, no matter how 0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:22.720 many injuries I get, no matter how messed up I get, 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:26.400 I'm just not the type of person who won't work out. 0:20:28.320 --> 0:20:31.679 And that's not a willpower thing at all. At this point, 0:20:31.880 --> 0:20:35.119 it's almost, you know again, this is something we talked about. 0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:38.959 It takes more willpower for me to say I'm going 0:20:39.000 --> 0:20:40.640 to stay out of the gym because I need more 0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:42.720 recovery or I'm gonna stay out of the gym because 0:20:42.720 --> 0:20:46.920 I got these weird injuries. Because my identity is I 0:20:47.000 --> 0:20:50.760 am this person. So I think, you know, the whole 0:20:50.840 --> 0:20:54.640 question around not what am I going to discipline myself 0:20:54.680 --> 0:20:58.080 to do or not do where it is valuable, but 0:20:58.240 --> 0:21:01.760 more sustainably, who am I? And who am I not? 0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:05.600 What do you think about the concept? I'll start with 0:21:05.640 --> 0:21:12.399 you tif of some kind of public declaration, not necessarily 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:15.359 on social media, but maybe to your five year friends, 0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:18.320 or to your bloke or to the people you train with. 0:21:18.400 --> 0:21:22.040 You go, this is what I'm doing. I want you guys, 0:21:22.080 --> 0:21:25.159 help me stay a bit accountable and you know, give me, 0:21:25.520 --> 0:21:27.639 give me some grief if I'm not. I don't know, 0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:31.560 like I know that and I've said this before, but 0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:35.280 one of the things I really regretted badly when I 0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:38.000 started my PhD is that I told everyone I was 0:21:38.040 --> 0:21:41.840 doing a PhD because I wanted to fucking give up 0:21:41.880 --> 0:21:45.159 thirty nine times. And if I hadn't told anyone, I 0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:48.680 probably well, I definitely would have thought of it because 0:21:48.760 --> 0:21:51.960 the first six months were horrible, but part of me, 0:21:52.359 --> 0:21:55.719 probably my ego, just kept me like showing up and 0:21:55.760 --> 0:21:58.080 doing it because I didn't want to be that guy 0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:01.040 that went back, I'm doing this, which I never said, 0:22:01.040 --> 0:22:03.919 But what do you think of the concept of saying 0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:07.159 it out loud? Was that keep you more? Is that 0:22:07.240 --> 0:22:09.160 a good or a bad pressure or no pressure? 0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:14.359 I reckon accountability is a good pressure, but I reckon 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:18.239 there's that It's different for different people. So you know, 0:22:18.800 --> 0:22:23.680 for me, accountability is more who can help or who 0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:25.439 can be on the team, Like there's a bit of 0:22:25.600 --> 0:22:28.320