Speaker 1: I ad to welcome to another installing the you projectors harps.
Speaker 1: Who else wouldn't be Tiffany and Cook. I don't know
Speaker 1: where she is. I think she's in the hammock. I
Speaker 1: think she's in the corporate hammock. She could be by
Speaker 1: the pool, she could be in the jacuzzi. Who knows where.
Speaker 1: But she'll be editing this later, but joining me. Who
Speaker 1: has actually showed up, which is nice, unlike tiff as
Speaker 1: doctor Rob Bell.
Speaker 2: Good ay, doc, how are you?
Speaker 3: Oh that's great man, appreciate you having me on. But
Speaker 3: we'll look forward to it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. I've been excited. I read about you
Speaker 1: and I went it's like a brother from another mother.
Speaker 1: It's like you're just where kindred spirits, I think, can
Speaker 1: you so for my audience who don't know you, can
Speaker 1: you just give us a little bit of a snapshot.
Speaker 2: Of the the Rob Bell story?
Speaker 3: Wow, snapshot of the story?
Speaker 2: Take as long as you want, long as you want.
Speaker 2: Started in the seventies.
Speaker 3: In the back of a car.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Sports psychology coach man so I I work with athletes,
Speaker 3: coaches and teams on mental toughness and YEP. Written seven books,
Speaker 3: eight books on mental toughness. One of them is an
Speaker 3: e book, but you wrote seven You're smarter than I am, Man.
Speaker 2: So definitely not, definitely not.
Speaker 3: I love alterna durance sports man, I love iron Man's
Speaker 3: and one hundred milers. Family, which is probably the most
Speaker 3: important part. Man and Mary. We've got two kids of
Speaker 3: daughters fifteen and son is thirteen, and Man, I just
Speaker 3: love doing what I do, and that's just helping athletes
Speaker 3: get to where they want to go. Point. I love
Speaker 3: about sports so much, mate, It's just there's no ambiguity
Speaker 3: when it comes to sports, and that's the part that
Speaker 3: I love the most. Right. It's like in life there's
Speaker 3: a lot of ambiguity. Who knows if that raise helps
Speaker 3: or who know if that's a good job. But like
Speaker 3: with sports, you just know you make the shot or
Speaker 3: you miss the shot, right, you swim the time or
Speaker 3: you don't swim the time. That's it always drew me
Speaker 3: to sports, and I've always just been passionate about helping
Speaker 3: people on when you know, when they're naked in front
Speaker 3: of the gods out there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when did you when you were growing up, were
Speaker 1: you an athlete?
Speaker 2: Were you into sports?
Speaker 3: I was, man, Yeah, soccer and uh and baseball, Yeah,
Speaker 3: those are my favorites. Man, That's what I so I
Speaker 3: exceled at and then and then got into partying.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: You know when I was a teenage professional professional pathage
Speaker 3: Oh man, if it was a class, I was an
Speaker 3: A plus student on that. Any extra credit I'm in.
Speaker 3: But it led to the downfall. Man. That's when I
Speaker 3: got to college and just had a couple of hinge
Speaker 3: moments that took place, and then I got into the
Speaker 3: psychology field.
Speaker 1: I see you use that term hinge moment. I haven't
Speaker 1: really heard it, and I've read a bit of your stuff.
Speaker 1: What's is that? Is that a light bulb moment, an epiphany,
Speaker 1: an aha moment?
Speaker 2: Or is that something different?
Speaker 3: Well, when you hear about doors opening and closing in life,
Speaker 3: that's because of the hinge. Yeah. Yeah, So a door,
Speaker 3: a door without a hinge as a wall, it just
Speaker 3: doesn't work. And if you ever ever a rusty if
Speaker 3: you ever have a rusty door, it's not the door
Speaker 3: that's rusty at all. It's the hinge that gets rusty.
Speaker 3: And so when we go through doors in life, what
Speaker 3: the hinge is It's that one moment, that one person
Speaker 3: or one event that makes all the difference in our lives.
Speaker 3: It connects who we are with who we're going to become.
Speaker 3: But we just don't know when that's coming. And that's
Speaker 3: the that's the real importance of the Metal game is
Speaker 3: you have to be ready for those moments. And sometimes
Speaker 3: we might not know what happens to weeks, months, years later,
Speaker 3: but it could be a coach that we had in
Speaker 3: our lives, that one person has said, hey, you can
Speaker 3: do this, you know, or or that that one shot
Speaker 3: that we just said, you know what, screw it, man,
Speaker 3: I'm going to go for it. And you know, it
Speaker 3: connected who we are with who we became. And now
Speaker 3: the beauty about it. And this is why use these
Speaker 3: hinge moments because no matter how bad your situation is,
Speaker 3: no matter how bleak an outcome looks, it only takes
Speaker 3: one And that's what we kind of get away from, right. Hey,
Speaker 3: it takes one client turn everything around, one person to
Speaker 3: turn everything around your life. That's what we're getting ready for.
Speaker 3: But so if I go through life saying, hey, this
Speaker 3: this person really doesn't matter, this interaction really doesn't matter,
Speaker 3: then the hinde will not connect guarantee it. Yeah, it
Speaker 3: also it also goes the other way too. It's just
Speaker 3: that tragedies that happen in our lives, there are immediate
Speaker 3: hinges because from that moment on Craig, everything's different. Like
Speaker 3: death of a loved one, cancer, a significant injury, they're
Speaker 3: immediate hinges. Everything's different after that. But that's that's why
Speaker 3: I use the hinge moments.
Speaker 2: A friend of mine who's been on the show a bunch,
Speaker 2: his name's Joel. He was he was in the military.
Speaker 1: He was I'm from Afghanistan on leave, went to a party,
Speaker 1: fell out of a balcony, broke his neck. It's now quadriplegic,
Speaker 1: you know. And as I often cited people when I'm
Speaker 1: talking about Joel, you know, he can't wake up tomorrow
Speaker 1: and say, you know what, fuck it, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to do quadriplegia anymore. I'm just going to walk around.
Speaker 1: I'm too I can't be bothered dealing with this, right.
Speaker 1: So things happen, as you said, you know, catastrophes and
Speaker 1: terrible moments in our life where we don't have a choice.
Speaker 2: Now we have.
Speaker 1: This is real, This is a new reality, right. But
Speaker 1: I feel like with a lot of you know, Rob,
Speaker 1: if you or I do a gig, we're in front
Speaker 1: of a group of people.
Speaker 2: I do a lot of speaking.
Speaker 1: And if I say to people, put up your hand
Speaker 1: if you want to be fitter, lean, a lighter, stronger,
Speaker 1: you know, more effective, more empowered, more resilient, all the
Speaker 1: hands go up. So there's one thing to want that,
Speaker 1: there's one thing to want change or want to be
Speaker 1: a higher performer, whatever that means in sport or out
Speaker 1: of sport. But then it's another thing to be willing
Speaker 1: to step into the uncertainty, the unknown, the discomfort, the pain,
Speaker 1: the fucking terror. Right, Like, we love the idea of
Speaker 1: high performance and success and optimal health, but we don't,
Speaker 1: like a lot of us, don't want to do the
Speaker 1: work right.
Speaker 3: M it is, man, And that's where I think You've
Speaker 3: got to go through life knowing that you got one shot,
Speaker 3: you know, I mean, you don't go around more than once, right,
Speaker 3: So you have to seize the nectar and get after it.
Speaker 3: Because that's I just basically like you know, and there's
Speaker 3: there's opposite then too, right, But it's like you can't
Speaker 3: go through life afraid because that just sucks, and that
Speaker 3: means you're living on the sidelines of life, and nothing
Speaker 3: good can happen in it. But that's where the critic lives, right,
Speaker 3: they live up in the bleachers, not willing to sign
Speaker 3: up for that race or whatever it is that scares you.
Speaker 3: But that's where the fun stuff is. Man, That's why
Speaker 3: I look at it. That's why I think man in
Speaker 3: the arena is so powerful because the critic doesn't count.
Speaker 3: It's that who is willing to go out there and
Speaker 3: for the glory or the pain of defeat and knowing that,
Speaker 3: hey man, that's just living. And that's why I always
Speaker 3: look at and that's how I look at life too,
Speaker 3: because it is so short and you have to seize
Speaker 3: those moments. Man's that's all we got is that lifetime.
Speaker 3: And that's where again it can go to the opposite
Speaker 3: that way, right, you can say fuck it and just
Speaker 3: you know, kill yourself, but like you have to be
Speaker 3: willing to go for it. Man, that's where the real
Speaker 3: success gets made.
Speaker 2: Do you think that that drives that drive rob you know,
Speaker 2: that willingness to do the work, That hunger, whatever, resilience,
Speaker 2: you know, whatever we want to call it.
Speaker 1: That is that inherent? Is that in built? Is that
Speaker 1: in my dna? Is that genetic or is that something
Speaker 1: that is maybe a byproduct of where I've been and
Speaker 1: what I've seen and who I've been around.
Speaker 3: I think it is caught more than it's taught. And
Speaker 3: what I mean by that is that's where I spend
Speaker 3: my life as trying to teach that. But I think
Speaker 3: it's going through experiences in life that in the environment
Speaker 3: that we are going to be and that has such
Speaker 3: a huge factor to it. Right now, with that said,
Speaker 3: the bottom line is is no matter your circumstance, no
Speaker 3: matter what matters more is the vision. And what I
Speaker 3: have seen is I have yet to meet anybody Craig. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that wasn't told. That's a bad idea. Don't try it.
Speaker 3: You're not going to be successful. Forget it, man, Yeah,
Speaker 3: not you. And so everybody who has been uber successful
Speaker 3: in life, they were all had that moment. They all
Speaker 3: had that And that's why I call them like lightning strikes,
Speaker 3: because it's the most powerful force that is. It might
Speaker 3: be somebody close to you, might have been that coach,
Speaker 3: might have been that teacher, that teacher said, now you're
Speaker 3: going end up just like your brother. Every one of
Speaker 3: them who has reached that level of success was told that,
Speaker 3: either by the circumstance or by somebody else. So why
Speaker 3: is that that those moments helped propel them now at
Speaker 3: the same time it has crushed many more people. Yes,
Speaker 3: And so it's just that's the part where like, look,
Speaker 3: these moments are going to have significant factors that and
Speaker 3: repercussions and consequences. And it's our job again to be
Speaker 3: in the moment to live life to its absolute fullest,
Speaker 3: but it's our job to make sure that I think
Speaker 3: those that are around us are equipped with those skills.
Speaker 3: So knowing that those moments are going to happen, and
Speaker 3: that's just how I look at them. Man, no one
Speaker 3: who has ever been successful wasn't told that, you know.
Speaker 3: And I think it goes beyond proving people wrong. I
Speaker 3: think it's a fish or cut bait moment. And what
Speaker 3: I mean by that is, you can't be on the
Speaker 3: fence in life when you're told you're not going to
Speaker 3: make it. You're either going to agree with that voice
Speaker 3: that tells you you're not going to make it, or
Speaker 3: you're going to agree with yourself. And that's then the
Speaker 3: importance to about coaches, because usually when people are told
Speaker 3: that they had just one person to come alongside them
Speaker 3: and say, you don't need to listen to that coach man,
Speaker 3: you can do this. Yeah, and it made all the
Speaker 3: difference in their lives. And that's the part that I
Speaker 3: knew to be true when it comes to that, you know,
Speaker 3: nature nurture sort of thing. But I believe it's caught
Speaker 3: more than it's tight. So I kind of hang on
Speaker 3: that one.
Speaker 1: When I was growing up, rob I was a not
Speaker 1: a good academic, not a good athlete, not genetically gifted,
Speaker 1: you know, captain mediocrity. And you know, for me to
Speaker 1: be to me, to excel at anything just meant like
Speaker 1: literally just doing probably more work than most people around me,
Speaker 1: you know, because I didn't have great genetics all that stuff.
Speaker 1: I was a morbidly obs kid. I was, I guess
Speaker 1: the equivalent in pounds two hundred two and ten pounds
Speaker 1: when I was fourteen, you know, all this stuff. And
Speaker 1: I had a few hinge moments as you call them,
Speaker 1: and and and out of one of those hinge moments,
Speaker 1: you know, I just had this light bulb where essentially
Speaker 1: I went, this is very simplified. But I don't want
Speaker 1: to be like how I am. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be this way anymore. And I radically change my behavior,
Speaker 1: which then in turn changed my thinking. I get it,
Speaker 1: it's a two way kind of street. But I got
Speaker 1: in shape, I got fit, I got relatively strong and healthy.
Speaker 1: And for somebody without great genetics, I kind of tried
Speaker 1: to figure out somewhat how to optimize them. But for me,
Speaker 1: changing my body was great. But what it really opened
Speaker 1: the door on for me was understanding my own potential
Speaker 1: for not for greatness, but my version of greatness.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, my nine out of ten, what's
Speaker 1: nine out of ten for me might be a four
Speaker 1: for you because maybe you're more gifted, right, But I
Speaker 1: think there's that like going through that. For me, I
Speaker 1: lost the equivalent of about seventy pounds and got to
Speaker 1: a weight that was about the right weight for my
Speaker 1: then size and age and all of that, you know.
Speaker 1: But and the weight loss was cool, and the fitness
Speaker 1: was great, and the transformation was great, but it was
Speaker 1: really the like the mental, emotional and social ramifications that
Speaker 1: like I went, oh, fuck, if I can do this,
Speaker 1: what else can I do? I think it's that that,
Speaker 1: you know, it's almost like that that that shift in
Speaker 1: mindset is really just a byproduct of stepping into doing
Speaker 1: hard shits.
Speaker 3: Sometimes, absolutely, man, And that's the best part of it, right,
Speaker 3: stepping into the next That's what I love. I love that, man.
Speaker 3: I mean that fires me up because I think it's
Speaker 3: it's so true, it's been that becomes like the most
Speaker 3: important mental skill is just the confidence and belief. And
Speaker 3: oh man, now I do have a vision. Yes, it's powerful, man,
Speaker 3: really powerful. That's why I think confidence belief it's the
Speaker 3: most important metal skill.
Speaker 1: And I guess like for me, I didn't set out
Speaker 1: to do that. I just set out to not look
Speaker 1: as terrible as I looked like. I was just an
Speaker 1: auto in year old, fat, insecure kid who didn't want
Speaker 1: to be socially invisible, right. I just wanted some girl
Speaker 1: to go, well, he's not hideous. That would have been
Speaker 1: a good yeah, you know, I wanted to be not
Speaker 1: picked last for a team. Like these were not lofty goals, right.
Speaker 1: But but it's in the doing of that where you know,
Speaker 1: you go, ah, it's like I started to pull back
Speaker 1: a curtain on my self awareness and self understanding, you know,
Speaker 1: where I didn't obviously articulate it.
Speaker 2: Like that when I was fourteen.
Speaker 1: But you know, getting in shape was good, But what
Speaker 1: was more exciting and more empowering was starting to have
Speaker 1: a window into my own potential, you know, And I
Speaker 1: think helping people like I love helping people open the door,
Speaker 1: pull back the curtain, whatever metaphor we want to use,
Speaker 1: but on their own potential, power and possibilities.
Speaker 3: You know, I mean, how can I add to that? Brother?
Speaker 3: I just want to listen to you share the story. Man,
Speaker 3: that's good. I mean, it's when here's here's what I
Speaker 3: look at it though. Here's what I look at it
Speaker 3: is like the difference that you make now in p
Speaker 3: was lives Craigs, knowing like where you were then and
Speaker 3: how many people that you have helped throughout life. Like,
Speaker 3: that's the real power of it, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: If you didn't make that decision, man, do you know
Speaker 3: how many people's lives would be different today? Yeah, because
Speaker 3: now you said, well, you know, hey, I guess this
Speaker 3: is how it is. No, Man, you made that choice
Speaker 3: and you impacted how many thousands of lives because of
Speaker 3: when they go home and they reckon you know, realize, man,
Speaker 3: they still had your voice in their head when they
Speaker 3: went home.
Speaker 2: That night.
Speaker 3: Yeah your voice saying yeah, you are awesome. Man.
Speaker 1: It's funny like with people that thank you. I appreciate
Speaker 1: that the people that I work with. So a bit
Speaker 1: more backstory for you. So I set up the first
Speaker 1: personal training censor in Australia. So in nineteen ninety personal
Speaker 1: training was an industry. There was there was no course,
Speaker 1: there was no qualification, there was no insurance, there was
Speaker 1: no regulation. I started doing in maybe eighty five eighty
Speaker 1: six in commercial gyms and then set up my own
Speaker 1: center when I was twenty six and I had no
Speaker 1: fucking idea what I was doing. But another one of
Speaker 1: those hinge moments where you go shit, Like I knew
Speaker 1: that I didn't want to have a boss a job.
Speaker 1: I wanted to work, but I didn't want a job
Speaker 1: right and I'm like, well, how the fuck can I
Speaker 1: work for me? Make money?
Speaker 2: Do shit?
Speaker 1: I'm passionate about connect with human being, keep my own
Speaker 1: evolution happening, but not show up every day for a
Speaker 1: job which didn't appeal to me. But you know what
Speaker 1: was like the biggest I'll shut up after this because
Speaker 1: this is not about me, this podcast. I apologize, But
Speaker 1: what was the biggest learning curve. For me, rob was
Speaker 1: like being in front of all of these humans like
Speaker 1: you think about as a trainer or a coach or
Speaker 1: a mental like everyone that you work with wants to
Speaker 1: be better, Like nobody comes to you because they want
Speaker 1: to stay how they are now better shows up as
Speaker 1: a lot of different things physically, mentally, emotionally, skill you know, strength, power, speed,
Speaker 1: fucking whatever, you know, resilience, And it's like for me,
Speaker 1: that was the classroom, you know, more than university for
Speaker 1: me being in front of all those different humans with
Speaker 1: different drivers and different personalities and different pain thresholds and
Speaker 1: different perceptions and different stories. You know, what about for
Speaker 1: you like that experience? I know you worked with a
Speaker 1: lot of athletes. What came out of that for you?
Speaker 3: Same thing?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 3: I mean I always say everyone that we meet we
Speaker 3: can learn something from. And everyone on this earth one
Speaker 3: way or another is you know, when the student's ready
Speaker 3: to teacher will appear. Right. We're all doctors and we're
Speaker 3: all and we're all patients. Yeah, you know, it's just
Speaker 3: like who were interact with. But we I always learn
Speaker 3: more from those that I interact with and that I
Speaker 3: help then I think they do from me. From my standpoint,
Speaker 3: you know, whether whether it's a know how they approach something,
Speaker 3: especially working like with the really elite ones, they all
Speaker 3: just have something that's a little bit different, and it's
Speaker 3: like looking deep into that and saying, what what is
Speaker 3: it that you have that's untouchable? Right, It's like if
Speaker 3: you were to go deep in their soul, there's like
Speaker 3: this lamp or something right with like you just can't
Speaker 3: touch it. Like everyone I just think, like just has that.
Speaker 3: Hopefully that metaaforre made sense. I'm trying to think of
Speaker 3: like a laddiner, right, it was like yeah, so, you know,
Speaker 3: And whether that is just somebody's ultimate belief in themselves,
Speaker 3: whether it's their ability to outwork somebody else, whether it
Speaker 3: is their ability to focus under pressure and want to
Speaker 3: be in those situations, whether it's somebody's uh skill of
Speaker 3: letting god mistakes and moving on, whether it's somebody's ability
Speaker 3: to just see a painting, you know, and to be
Speaker 3: able to go and do it. You know, if if
Speaker 3: it's somebody to be able to connect with somebody else,
Speaker 3: everyone has that, I totally believe it, you know, And
Speaker 3: I've just been blessed enough to work with so many
Speaker 3: and just try and discover what is their their essence
Speaker 3: and how are they able to go about it? And
Speaker 3: that's the key is you just got to be working
Speaker 3: on then your strength all the time. And I think
Speaker 3: that's what the the purpose is man, and then you
Speaker 3: take that strength and how is it going to be
Speaker 3: able to help others? Because that's where the real joy is.
Speaker 3: That's that's why I look at them, and the real
Speaker 3: joy is from helping others reach their goal. It's like
Speaker 3: you you reach yours whatever it is, that's a mountaintop moment.
Speaker 3: You're going to come back that off that mountaintop and
Speaker 3: it's like, okay, well we're what now what's next? No
Speaker 3: matter what it is, right, million dollars, man, Olympic gold metal,
Speaker 3: it's and it's always getting back to men. It's then
Speaker 3: how do I use this to be able to help
Speaker 3: somebody else? That's where the real joy comes from.
Speaker 2: Tell me about the dynamic rub between, Like when you're working.
Speaker 1: With somebody and you want to help them, among other things,
Speaker 1: build you know, resilience and mental toughness and adaptability and
Speaker 1: flexibility and all that fucking awesome stuff to be able
Speaker 1: to perform on the pressure.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, you don't want to be
Speaker 2: a prick.
Speaker 1: You don't want to do you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, we want to be understanding and where
Speaker 1: and compassionate and empathetic, but also get the fuck up
Speaker 1: and stop being a pussy. Like what's that juxtaposition? Like
Speaker 1: how do you how do you navigate that? I?
Speaker 3: Sometimes I do it, well, sometimes I don't because you
Speaker 3: have to kind of coach like that. But yeah, it's
Speaker 3: not my natural style. I don't like always doing that right.
Speaker 3: I might because I don't want it more than them,
Speaker 3: because I would get wrapped up in it. Man, you know,
Speaker 3: I mean if it's so, I look at it in
Speaker 3: terms of you have to know that what we're going
Speaker 3: to build first is based on love. That is based
Speaker 3: on love and the same thing we are working together
Speaker 3: to get you better. Well, that's not always comfortable, and
Speaker 3: there's going to be I always tell them, like, look,
Speaker 3: there is no growth without al Like there's going to
Speaker 3: be tough conversations that will be difficult. You have to
Speaker 3: be want to go down this journey with me If
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be the right person, and by
Speaker 3: all means, we take a poison pill together and separate,
Speaker 3: right will we kind of set that up beforehand because it's, uh,
Speaker 3: there's a lot of moving parts. Yeah, and you have
Speaker 3: to be willing to look at all the details. The
Speaker 3: details is what becomes really important. You know, who you
Speaker 3: surrounding yourself with?
Speaker 4: Man?
Speaker 3: What are you feeding your mind? You know? Where are
Speaker 3: these little demons that you have kind of hidden that
Speaker 3: you don't want to admit, you know, wan anybody else
Speaker 3: to look at? You got to go there because at
Speaker 3: some point they're going to show up, and you don't
Speaker 3: want them showing up when it's the most important time.
Speaker 3: So that's that's the part of and then kind of
Speaker 3: like you know, into the weeds part about coaching. A
Speaker 3: lot of times it's just throwing lobs out there in
Speaker 3: terms of telling them somewhere or another there I don't know,
Speaker 3: may be a little difficult for you, It might be
Speaker 3: too difficult, It might be tough. You know, what do
Speaker 3: they do?
Speaker 1: Then?
Speaker 3: All right, I'll show you, Yeah, watch me. And then
Speaker 3: as long as that, as long as that love is base, man,
Speaker 3: then I think people always want to be coached hard.
Speaker 1: And I think also sometimes love doesn't feel very loving, right,
Speaker 1: you know, it's that.
Speaker 2: Well said, I tell come up with that one, Nah, dude.
Speaker 1: I tell my clients all the time like I used to,
Speaker 1: even with my personal training days back, not with a
Speaker 1: lad athletes, not with you know, high performers, just general public.
Speaker 1: I would say to my clients, if you want someone
Speaker 1: to hold your hand and tell you you're amazing every four
Speaker 1: minutes and rub your back and sing komba, I'm not
Speaker 1: the dude, right, I go. But if you want someone
Speaker 1: who genuinely wants to help you, explore your potential, power, possibilities,
Speaker 1: support you, care about you. But I'm more interested in
Speaker 1: your long term potential and growth and development than I
Speaker 1: am in making you feel good for the next three minutes.
Speaker 2: And you know that's it.
Speaker 1: It's at the same time, of course, I don't want
Speaker 1: to crush people, but you know, people can't build mental
Speaker 1: toughness and resilience without doing fucking hard things like it doesn't.
Speaker 3: Work right, you know, and with you man, loving doesn't
Speaker 3: always appear like loving.
Speaker 1: Loving doesn't always feel like love, doesn't always feel loving,
Speaker 1: you know. So for me, if I'm like sometimes if
Speaker 1: I'm loving someone, that's not the experience they're having, but
Speaker 1: nonetheless it's coming from a platform of love, from an
Speaker 1: intention of love. And the thing is that sometimes, you know,
Speaker 1: even with audiences robs, sometimes I say to them, like,
Speaker 1: even if it's a couple of hundred people, I will say,
Speaker 1: I can tell you what you want to hear or
Speaker 1: what you need to hear, what would you prefer because
Speaker 1: I can make this kumbay are comfortable and you all
Speaker 1: feel awesome, or we can, as you say, get into
Speaker 1: the weeds, open a few doors and be self aware
Speaker 1: and you know, not self loathing, just self aware.
Speaker 2: And mostly they reluctantly say all right, you know, and
Speaker 2: I go.
Speaker 1: And the reason that like, I'm not interested in turning
Speaker 1: up for a one hour keynote or a half day
Speaker 1: workshop and boosting my popularity hopefully they like it. But
Speaker 1: I'm actually interested in creating an experience with a group
Speaker 1: an individual or a group corporate, sporting whatever that is
Speaker 1: a catalyst for something powerful for them. And I go,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not the answer. I'm not the solution.
Speaker 1: I'm just a bloke sharing thoughts and ideas and strategies.
Speaker 1: You're the answer that you're the solution, you know. And
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of coaches, and especially in
Speaker 1: the fucking personal development self help space, Rob who put
Speaker 1: themselves up as the solution.
Speaker 2: I fucking hate that so much. It so much.
Speaker 3: Well, because they're building I mean, what they're building is
Speaker 3: they're building dependency, you know, and they're not building capacity.
Speaker 3: We want to build capacity. And it's the same thing, man,
Speaker 3: I teld like, it's just the exact same thing. Man,
Speaker 3: I told my kids, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 3: I don't want you on the side of the road
Speaker 3: having no idea how to change his tire. I haven't
Speaker 3: done my job. My job is to teach you this. Well,
Speaker 3: it's going to be painful going through this and one
Speaker 3: d per man. I can't stand that too. I don't
Speaker 3: know why it bothers me so much, man, because like
Speaker 3: coaches are going to put themselves out in front when
Speaker 3: it's like no, you know, if they want to give
Speaker 3: you credit as part of that, man, that's totally on
Speaker 3: them to do it. But it's not you, man, And
Speaker 3: I tell them that all the time. Man, you never
Speaker 3: hit a shot, right because well we can keep going
Speaker 3: on that stuff, man, but I'm tellingly you worth you. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't want to get you on my podcast, man,
Speaker 3: Can I get you on my play hours.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, but I think, thank you. I love that.
Speaker 2: But I mean the thing is too like if.
Speaker 1: I'm making it about me, well then I'm making it
Speaker 1: about me and my ego, and it's like without me
Speaker 1: or nothing, and it's all fucking self serving bullshit, right.
Speaker 1: It's like, all I am is a resource. That's it
Speaker 1: for the people, the teams you're going to. I'm a resource,
Speaker 1: right that. And I might be valuable or not on
Speaker 1: the day, I might be on fire, you know whatever, but.
Speaker 2: Ultimately what matters.
Speaker 1: It's like we're fifteen one hundred and fifteen, at fifteen
Speaker 1: and fifty eight or something episodes into the You Project,
Speaker 1: six years, over a thousand incredible guests.
Speaker 2: You're one of them.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, it's just two
Speaker 1: blokes on a podcast talking, right. The value for the
Speaker 1: listener is what they might then do as a result
Speaker 1: of a strategy, an idea, a piece of information, a
Speaker 1: story that resonates. So I love my listeners and I
Speaker 1: love them listening, but what I really fucking love is
Speaker 1: when I get an email from someone who says I
Speaker 1: heard Rob Bell say this, and I went and did that,
Speaker 1: and this is my outcome, and then they might say,
Speaker 1: you're at your podcast changed my life and I write
Speaker 1: back and go, no, it didn't. I haven't changed any lives.
Speaker 1: I've influenced a few people, but the only life I
Speaker 1: can change is mine. And by the way, thousands of
Speaker 1: people listen to that episode, but you're the only one
Speaker 1: who did that, so it's all you well done. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, And as you said, the moment that we
Speaker 1: start to create, you know, this culture or this idea
Speaker 1: of oh wow, without me, you wouldn't get there, then
Speaker 1: you know we're building an addiction, which is we're building
Speaker 1: something destructive and unhealthy, you know, in a dependency. Like
Speaker 1: I used to say to my client, so this is
Speaker 1: a bad business move, but all of my clients, I'd say,
Speaker 1: I want to teach you, train you, prepare you to
Speaker 1: be able to do everything that you need to do
Speaker 1: to be self sustaining, to optimize your body, nutrition, sleep, lifestyle, physiology,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and then fuck you off. Right. I
Speaker 1: don't want you to you know, I love you, but
Speaker 1: I don't want you dependent on me, because then I've
Speaker 1: just created another problem that you don't need. And ironically,
Speaker 1: most trainers won't do that because they wanted people keep
Speaker 1: people on the hook forever. But it's actually and I
Speaker 1: didn't do that strategically, but it's in the doing of
Speaker 1: that where you become more sought after because people know that, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm not just a pay packet for him. He'd eat
Speaker 1: like he really wants a bit of off. He really
Speaker 1: wants me to get good, and then he wants me
Speaker 1: to continue the journey by myself.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, yes, so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, man. I tell them my athletes, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: work myself out of a job.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: My insurance agent doesn't call me up saying, hey man,
Speaker 3: we were still good. Like that never happens, you know.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's like, so I tell them, like the
Speaker 3: same exact thing. Brother. It's like, I'm just a guide. Right,
Speaker 3: You're the You're the hero hero of the story, because
Speaker 3: you have to be the hero, right, You've got to
Speaker 3: be the main character.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm certainly not the hero. And the reason
Speaker 3: why two minutes because I love people and I want
Speaker 3: them to be successful and then to be able to,
Speaker 3: you know, just keep supporting them from the sidelines and
Speaker 3: if they need me back in to help, then hey, man,
Speaker 3: I'm there for you. But I'm a big believer though
Speaker 3: then that I believe that there is a God and
Speaker 3: I'm not it. M Yeah, come dependent on somebody else
Speaker 3: on that. Like you said, man, it becomes a different problem.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe you're a conduit to that God, Rob.
Speaker 2: Maybe, let's hope, dude.
Speaker 1: So tell me about a hinge moment in the life
Speaker 1: of Rob Bell, something that's uh was transformational, that's going
Speaker 1: to resonate with us.
Speaker 3: Oh man, I've had several hinge moments, and I'll share
Speaker 3: this one so well, I know what's like, which one
Speaker 3: do you want? And do you want like the tragedy one,
Speaker 3: do you want sort of the comedy? Do you want
Speaker 3: the professional one? Or do you want the one where
Speaker 3: if it's like that was really wild how this kind
Speaker 3: of all came to be.
Speaker 2: Let's do that, dude. We've got half an hour.
Speaker 1: Bro, you just go wherever you want.
Speaker 3: I've been Okay, right, here we go, So I don't
Speaker 3: I don't share this one. I don't share this one
Speaker 3: a lot, but I still find this one to be
Speaker 3: very impactful. I'll try and synthesize as much I can,
Speaker 3: and you can tell I've told this story before so
Speaker 3: my grandmother for every Christmas, she gets me Reader's Digest magazine.
Speaker 3: As a teenager, that was our old gift to me.
Speaker 3: Now Readers Digest magazine here in the States, Like it's
Speaker 3: just a bunch of stories, you know, and it's like, okay,
Speaker 3: So I would read these, you know, my own the
Speaker 3: toilet sometimes and hey, thanks grandma. One would come every month.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: It's like, okay, I could have used cash, but this
Speaker 3: is great. And I came across this story again, I'm
Speaker 3: fourteen years old. It came across this story about runners
Speaker 3: that would go on these long runs and have these
Speaker 3: euphoric sensations and how they would that's why they would
Speaker 3: like run all these long distances, you know, and I
Speaker 3: was like, wow, that's pretty cool. Fourteen years old kind
Speaker 3: of forget about it. I get into you know, high school,
Speaker 3: and then I'm in college and I'm going down to
Speaker 3: sports psycher out right, like I'm all in on this.
Speaker 3: And I'm a senior now in college, twenty three years old.
Speaker 3: And the professor in that class says, those that are
Speaker 3: psychology majors, you have to do you have to replicate
Speaker 3: a research study, something that has been done in the past,
Speaker 3: and you're going to present on it. That's going to
Speaker 3: help you for you know whatever, going to grad school.
Speaker 3: When she said that, an image popped in my mind.
Speaker 3: And that image in my mind was that those runners
Speaker 3: from the Readers Digest magazine, right, those runners everyone in
Speaker 3: the sensation. I'm going to go find that, you know,
Speaker 3: and do that. And so I go and I kind
Speaker 3: of I don't exactly find that story, but I find
Speaker 3: it whatever's close enough to it, right, you know, And
Speaker 3: these runners go in these long runs, have you four sensations?
Speaker 3: And why they would keep running? And uh? And then
Speaker 3: I presented it at a conference and graduate. You know.
Speaker 3: It's fine. So now I know what I want to
Speaker 3: do with my life, and that's going to grad school.
Speaker 3: So I need to. I apply to master's schools. And
Speaker 3: I moved out to Colorado because I wanted that year
Speaker 3: off right. I was a ski bomb. I skied ninety
Speaker 3: seven days that year in Crest Debute, and I was
Speaker 3: applying and applied to grad school, so I knew exactly
Speaker 3: where I wanted to go. And I applied to Temple University.
Speaker 3: And the reason why I applied to Temple University was simply, uh, hey,
Speaker 3: it was one of the schools, you know. So I'm like,
Speaker 3: I have the phone interview with the professor and he
Speaker 3: keeps asking me about the study man, you know, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, I'm like, in my ignorance at
Speaker 3: the time, I didn't even know who I was talking to.
Speaker 3: And then what I do is then I go after
Speaker 3: this phone interview because it keeps drilling me about the study,
Speaker 3: you know, And I was like, well, you know, yeah,
Speaker 3: and I did this and it was great, you know.
Speaker 2: And it's like.
Speaker 3: And I go and I check up who it was
Speaker 3: and I'm talking to and the person I'm talking to
Speaker 3: whose name is Michael Sachs. And he was the one
Speaker 3: who coined the phrase runners high.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: So the study that I looked at and how they
Speaker 3: had these U four sensations, what runners high was all about.
Speaker 3: He was the one who did that story. Now, I
Speaker 3: was a fringe candidate at best, and I got an
Speaker 3: assistant ship. I got into Temple University. And the only
Speaker 3: reason why I got into Temple University is my grandmother
Speaker 3: would get me readers, digest magazines. If she never gets
Speaker 3: me magaz things, I guarantee you I never come across that.
Speaker 3: I don't get into grad school, don't meet my wife,
Speaker 3: don't go on to Diversity Tennessee, and my story and
Speaker 3: path would have been different. But because she did, and
Speaker 3: because I had that story, man, so a reader Digest
Speaker 3: magazine became a hinge moment, and that's how small hinges
Speaker 3: can swing big doors.
Speaker 1: Wow, dude, that's such a good story.
Speaker 2: That's like that do man?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I love it. That's amazing, all right. So let's.
Speaker 3: I don't tell that one a lot, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean?
Speaker 2: No, I love that. I love that, And it's just
Speaker 2: it's so true. It's so true that.
Speaker 1: The you know, sliding door moments, whatever hinge moments, it's
Speaker 1: tell us about your definition of mental toughness. Not not
Speaker 1: necessarily what the you know, the field says, but what
Speaker 1: is it for you when you try to explain it
Speaker 1: to a not try, but when you explain it, what
Speaker 1: is it?
Speaker 2: What does it look like? How does it? How does
Speaker 2: it work?
Speaker 3: Yeah, academics need to come up with their own definitions
Speaker 3: because they need to publish. So it's like, well, let
Speaker 3: me just come to this own definition of mental toughness.
Speaker 3: So there's tons out there, but I'm in a jeans
Speaker 3: and t shirt kind of guy. Right, Let's keep this simple.
Speaker 3: Mental toughness is how we deal handle and cope with
Speaker 3: the adversity, the struggle and the setbacks in life. That's
Speaker 3: all it is. It's not a matter of if. It's
Speaker 3: just a matter of when and what it's going to
Speaker 3: look like now, depending on what our field is. Right.
Speaker 3: But mental toughness, oftentimes you know it's not going to
Speaker 3: win us anything, but if we don't have it, it
Speaker 3: will lose it for us. Yeah, And that's how I
Speaker 3: define it. And the other part that you can look
Speaker 3: at mental toughness is how you perform well under pressure.
Speaker 3: That is the other part of it as well. And
Speaker 3: if you're in it, then you will face pressure and
Speaker 3: it's how you deal with that. That's how I define it.
Speaker 1: Maybe, Yeah, thank you. It's interesting. We talk about black
Speaker 1: a lot in sport. Obviously a hot performance. But I
Speaker 1: do a fair bit of work over here with victor
Speaker 1: I live in the state of Victoria, so Victoria Police.
Speaker 2: I do some work with them and a bunch of
Speaker 2: other organizations.
Speaker 1: But so I talk regularly about the idea of high performance,
Speaker 1: and I have to clarify and I go so when
Speaker 1: I'm talking about high performance. I'm for this conversation. I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about Olympic gold. I'm not talking about curing cancer,
Speaker 1: Nobel prizes, joining the Space program. I'm talking about your
Speaker 1: ability to get the most out of you, Like what
Speaker 1: is your potential on? How close to that are you? Like?
Speaker 1: What are you? And I always tell the story about
Speaker 1: my mum. Who's My mumm is eighty four. She weighs
Speaker 1: about one hundred pounds. She's five one on a good day.
Speaker 1: She's had cancer three times, she was meant to die
Speaker 1: multiple times. She's had a heart attack, she had.
Speaker 2: Half a lung removed.
Speaker 1: And I spoke to her about an hour ago and
Speaker 1: she's the most upbeat, positive, Like she was going through chemo.
Speaker 1: She had five months of chemo therapy. She went down
Speaker 1: to thirty eight kilos, which is about eighty pounds. She
Speaker 1: had blood noses every day, she couldn't taste, she lost
Speaker 1: most of her hair. And I would ring her and
Speaker 1: she would ask me if I'm eating enough? Because you know,
Speaker 1: when I saw you last weekend, you look gaunt. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you weigh eighty pounds. My leg weighs eighty pounds, and
Speaker 1: you know, like in the middle of all of her shit.
Speaker 1: You know, in the middle of absolute physical, mental, emotional chaos,
Speaker 1: she was worried about me and she wasn't complaining, you know.
Speaker 1: So for me, that's high performance, that's resilience, that's adaptability,
Speaker 1: that's optimal mindset. Doesn't mean she never has a bad day,
Speaker 1: but you know, so for me, that idea of helping
Speaker 1: people just move towards whatever their version of high performance
Speaker 1: looks like.
Speaker 3: You know, you know, I always look at this too,
Speaker 3: because it's uh, you know, in the book like a
Speaker 3: man search for meeting Victor Frankel, right, like we get
Speaker 3: meaning from our suffering. So whatever like you're going through,
Speaker 3: you have to find meaning in that suffering because that
Speaker 3: is where you're given a different perspective. And I look
Speaker 3: at like perspective and gratitude as like the superpowers, you know,
Speaker 3: if you can have those, the perspective of man just
Speaker 3: really because all maybe just take things for granted, right,
Speaker 3: it's just how we are.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 3: It's like when you can but when you can take
Speaker 3: that cup of coffee as the best cup of coffee
Speaker 3: in the world and like really mean it, like you
Speaker 3: don't need to, yeah, And then that's gratitude and perspective,
Speaker 3: and I think, like it's going through really really difficult
Speaker 3: things like that and near death experiences, when the essence
Speaker 3: of life just comes out and it's everything simple.
Speaker 2: For sometimes I think I live.
Speaker 1: Where I'm at right now is upstairs at my house
Speaker 1: in my office and straight downstairs kitchen lounge, all that shit, right,
Speaker 1: But sometimes this is weird. But sometimes I'm walking at night.
Speaker 1: I walk up the stairs and I've got like a
Speaker 1: drink in one hand, I've got a near thing and
Speaker 1: I'm talking. I'm having a conversation with someone. I've got
Speaker 1: my dinner on the other hand. I'm walking up the stairs,
Speaker 1: I'm twisting around the thing, I'm doing all this shit,
Speaker 1: and I just have this moment, how fucking amazing is
Speaker 1: my body? Like?
Speaker 2: How good?
Speaker 1: This is funny rob But I'm like, especially after I
Speaker 1: spend time with my friend Joel, who's a quad, I'm like,
Speaker 1: how good is walking? I can stand up out of
Speaker 1: this chair. I've got five or six friends who can't
Speaker 1: do that. They can't they can't push back the chair
Speaker 1: like I am right now and stand up and walk
Speaker 1: to the door. They can't do it. But if all
Speaker 1: of a sudden perish the thought, you know, you or
Speaker 1: I with that or me anyway, you know, like all
Speaker 1: all you would want, you would give everything. You have
Speaker 1: to be able to push the chair back, stand up
Speaker 1: and walk to the door. Right, But we can do it.
Speaker 1: We can turn on a tap, there's hot water, we
Speaker 1: can push a button, there's cool air. I can walk
Speaker 1: out and get in my car, drive to the gym
Speaker 1: with two million dollars worth of equipment for ten bucks
Speaker 1: a day and a week. And you know, like my
Speaker 1: life is so fucking privileged that I have to keep
Speaker 1: doing a stock take otherwise I forget, you.
Speaker 3: Know, yeah, absolutely, man, I remember, like and I try
Speaker 3: to remind myself of that one all the time, Like
Speaker 3: when I go down and fill up my water bottle
Speaker 3: in the morning with ice, the ice is what does
Speaker 3: it for me? Because I just remind myself as there
Speaker 3: are people in this world that don't have ice. Man, Yeah,
Speaker 3: look at this ice. Look how awesome this is. And
Speaker 3: I'm the same thing man, when I'm like, you know,
Speaker 3: even stuff are like with some injuries and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: And I heard this one absolutely, But it's like, when
Speaker 3: you are healthy, you have thousands of wishes a day.
Speaker 3: What do you want you're healthy when you're unhealthy. You
Speaker 3: got one wish?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so true, so true.
Speaker 1: Dude, Hey, I want to talk to you a little
Speaker 1: bit about have you got another ten or fifteen minutes?
Speaker 3: Rob, Yeah, man, let's do it.
Speaker 2: I want to talk to you a little bit about
Speaker 2: I'm fired.
Speaker 3: I'm fired up, by the way, manly.
Speaker 2: I'm yeah, I'm good.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes I forget, well I don't really, but
Speaker 1: I almost forget I'm on a podcast, especially when I
Speaker 1: I mean, I like most people, but when I connect
Speaker 1: with someone that I really like and I respect and
Speaker 1: I'm vibing with.
Speaker 2: So I want to talk to you a bit.
Speaker 5: About, you know, the idea of you know, doing better,
Speaker 5: thinking better, building habits, behaviors, living in alignment with our values, goals,
Speaker 5: all that fucking self help stuff, which is all true.
Speaker 1: But there's the idea and then there's the messy, uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: practical journey, right, And I think what often gets in
Speaker 1: the way for many people is, you know, self doubt,
Speaker 1: self loathing, fear, self limiting beliefs, all of that. And
Speaker 1: that's not rare, that's common. And even me, I have
Speaker 1: my own bullshit. I overthink some things. I still have
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome. Even though I've done some good stuff, I
Speaker 1: still have self doubt. I still you know, all that bullshit, right,
Speaker 1: but I learned to coexist with it and turn the
Speaker 1: volume down on it.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: So people who are listening to this and going, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's all right, YouTube buffheads, but you know, I'm fucking
Speaker 1: riddled with fear or I think I'm shit, or you know,
Speaker 1: I have so much self doubt.
Speaker 4: And any ideas around overcoming, not eliminating or eradicating, but
Speaker 4: turning down the volume on that stuff that's self limiting,
Speaker 4: you know, in a chaos.
Speaker 3: Rob I believe that we can act or way into
Speaker 3: rate thinking easier than trying to think your way in
Speaker 3: a rate of acting.
Speaker 1: Oh. I love that.
Speaker 3: And the reason why I've always loved on that is
Speaker 3: because it's you know, just take the first step, man,
Speaker 3: Just sign up for the race. Man, you sign up
Speaker 3: for the race. What's the hardest thing about doing the race?
Speaker 3: Signing up for the race. Once you sign up for
Speaker 3: the race, and I just use this as an example
Speaker 3: because it's an easy one. It's slow hanging fruit. But
Speaker 3: you sign up for the race, your attitude and outlook
Speaker 3: changes immediately. Yeah, because now you have that goal and
Speaker 3: now you have the vision and the little thing. So
Speaker 3: I always say, like, you know, you act your way
Speaker 3: into right thinking, and then you just got to start
Speaker 3: with one thing. I think too often we kind of
Speaker 3: go down this path of picking two three things that
Speaker 3: we really want to get better, and well, if three
Speaker 3: are good, why not just pick four. It doesn't work
Speaker 3: like that. You just got to pick one area and
Speaker 3: just master that. Just master that, and then what happens
Speaker 3: is other things start to line up. So let's just say,
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna cut out ice cream, like, no more
Speaker 3: desserts or whatever, no more, I'm just gonna cut that out. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: And and then you don't have to cut that out
Speaker 3: and then sugar and stuff like that out of the
Speaker 3: whole day. You're just cutting out the desserts. Man. And
Speaker 3: then you do that, you give yourself a confidence because
Speaker 3: you are going to achieve it. You give yourself the confidence.
Speaker 3: You're going to give yourself that focus, that determination, and
Speaker 3: then other things are gonna line up. It's just how
Speaker 3: it happens, right, Because if you're giving this up, why
Speaker 3: not just have a little more water throughout the day? Right? Well,
Speaker 3: want to just go for that one more walk or
Speaker 3: something like that. And it doesn't have to be like
Speaker 3: the goal. The goal is the no dessert, but the
Speaker 3: other things line up. And now, the one part that
Speaker 3: is so important about that journey is no matter what
Speaker 3: journey you're going to be going on towards betterment, improvement, man,
Speaker 3: there are going to be set. You've got to understand that.
Speaker 3: So the fact that you cut out dessert doesn't mean hey,
Speaker 3: there might not there might be a slip a couple
Speaker 3: weeks down the road. Yeah, and you know what, so
Speaker 3: fucking what? Yeah, But what happens is is we eat
Speaker 3: the dessert and then we say, all the thoughts start
Speaker 3: coming back. And that's where the real demon lies, not
Speaker 3: the fact they eat dessert. You just discounted these last
Speaker 3: two weeks that you've done, and now every failure that
Speaker 3: you've had, like in the past, comes back and it
Speaker 3: starts telling you, look, see, I told you couldn't do it. Man,
Speaker 3: why do you even try setting that goal to begin with?
Speaker 3: When you have to understand, Look, it was just one dessert, man,
Speaker 3: get back on it. That becomes then the real importance.
Speaker 3: And that's where I think the real mental toughness and
Speaker 3: real resiliency and strength comes into place. After you have that.
Speaker 3: You don't have to say screw it, I blew it.
Speaker 3: You just say, you know what, Yeah, I messed up, man.
Speaker 3: And that's the difference between a lapse and and a collapse.
Speaker 3: Different between a relapse and a collapse is that, man,
Speaker 3: is how your attitude and outlook remains.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: They looked at addicts, man, Addicts that have fallen off
Speaker 3: the wagon. They had to drink and they they ended
Speaker 3: up gotting sober as opposed to those that didn't. And
Speaker 3: you know what, the big thing underneath it was those
Speaker 3: that had to drink but still end up getting sober
Speaker 3: know that that wasn't them and that wasn't their identity.
Speaker 3: That they still believe that they could be successful. Those
Speaker 3: that didn't it became a collapse, man, because they thought, man,
Speaker 3: that was their identity. Man, everything was in that, you know,
Speaker 3: and look, I couldn't do it. And then that's man,
Speaker 3: where there's a lot of deep layers to that one.
Speaker 3: But that's the part is like you're going to mess up,
Speaker 3: you still just have to keep on going. That's the
Speaker 3: big thing, man, Because flat tire on your way to
Speaker 3: Sydney doesn't mean you got to turn all the way
Speaker 3: back around and go back to Melbourne. You just change
Speaker 3: the tire and you keep going.
Speaker 2: You know, look at you.
Speaker 1: Chucking in the fucking the Aussie references beautiful OSI podcast.
Speaker 3: What was that? What was that race from Melbourne to Sydney?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know that they'd do it so much anymore,
Speaker 1: but for a very long time he used to be
Speaker 1: sponsored by a big shopping center out here called Westfield.
Speaker 1: And yeah, so yeah, they would, they would, they would
Speaker 1: race from Melbourne to I don't even I should.
Speaker 2: Cliff.
Speaker 1: So there was there was a farmer, basically untrained dude.
Speaker 2: I think he was fifty five or sixty.
Speaker 1: He'd never done anything competitive, but he spent his life
Speaker 1: running around a farm literally all day, every day, not
Speaker 1: all day, but and he was just had this but
Speaker 1: what he was able to do, Like he ran slower
Speaker 1: than everybody else, but he ran fucking twenty hours a day.
Speaker 3: Yeah right, so while everyone yeah, he just kept going dude.
Speaker 3: So and that's and that's life. Rather like it's a
Speaker 3: game of attrition. You're staying the game long enough, you
Speaker 3: will be sixcess us. Will I guarantee it you know,
Speaker 3: because it's not how fashion do, it's who slows down
Speaker 3: the least.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's I mean one of the things that
Speaker 1: I get, which I understand, but I kind of correct
Speaker 1: once I start my presentation. Sometimes I get introduced as
Speaker 1: a motivational speaker, right, which I'm not. I'm an educator,
Speaker 1: I'm a coach whatever, right, And then I talk about motivation,
Speaker 1: and you know, the thing is that, like in the
Speaker 1: sense of getting shit done. You know when we talk
Speaker 1: about motivation as a state that we get in, you know, inspiration, motivation,
Speaker 1: that heightened emotion, and people think that's the key, and
Speaker 1: I kind of unpack that with them and go, look,
Speaker 1: when you're motivated in that state, it's great, but you know,
Speaker 1: there's going to come a point in time and it
Speaker 1: could be tonight, or it could be tomorrow, it could
Speaker 1: be a month, but where you're not motivated. And I
Speaker 1: would say to all of my clients, you know, athletes,
Speaker 1: et cetera, I don't care what you do when you're motivated.
Speaker 1: I care what you do when you can't be fucked.
Speaker 1: I care what you do when no one's watching. I
Speaker 1: care what you do when you don't want to get
Speaker 1: out of bed. I care what you do when you've
Speaker 1: got zero inspiration, right, because it's our ability to be
Speaker 1: able to do those things that we don't want to
Speaker 1: do when we're getting no accolades, no cheer squad, no
Speaker 1: fucking trophy, no pat on the back, no validation. You know,
Speaker 1: that's the thing. And it's that ability to be able
Speaker 1: to I know, you know all of this, but to
Speaker 1: be able to just suck it up and go. I
Speaker 1: don't want to do it, but I need to do it.
Speaker 2: Off I go.
Speaker 1: You know, And it's that you know, people, people, so
Speaker 1: many people have said to me over the years, you know,
Speaker 1: I just lost motivation. I'm like, and and.
Speaker 2: I go, welcome to the human club.
Speaker 1: We all fucking lose motivation, you know. It's like people
Speaker 1: say to me, like, I started lifting weights when I
Speaker 1: was fifteen, so I pretty much have not stopped for
Speaker 1: forty five years. I'm sixty, right, and I'm not a superstar.
Speaker 1: I don't have great genetics, but for my age, et cetera,
Speaker 1: I'm in not bad shape.
Speaker 2: Every every gig I do, some bloke.
Speaker 1: Will come up to talk to me and say something like,
Speaker 1: how do you stay motivated to hit the gym? Every
Speaker 1: day and I go I don't. It's literally hardwired into
Speaker 1: my operating system. It requires zero discipline, zero self control,
Speaker 1: zero willpower, zero motivation because it's literally intertwined with who
Speaker 1: I am and how I am. It just takes a
Speaker 1: while right for people to get that. It ain't about
Speaker 1: how inspired you can be for a.
Speaker 3: Day one hundred percent man's And that's why I think
Speaker 3: it gets that lifestyle, you know, it is when it
Speaker 3: becomes intertwined. If this is just what I do now,
Speaker 3: I love it, man, because it's fun for me. You know.
Speaker 3: It's my thing is running, and it's it's there at
Speaker 3: five thirty in the morning when it's dark out and
Speaker 3: I get to run with my chocolate lab. That's the
Speaker 3: best part, man, for me, because it's quiet. I'm getting
Speaker 3: after it. I'm focusing on my breathing and it's still,
Speaker 3: you know, and I'll pray out there and just enjoy
Speaker 3: that moment. And I mean I never run with any
Speaker 3: music nothing, man. I don't need a distraction when it
Speaker 3: comes out. I just need to be in the moment.
Speaker 3: But it's it's not like it's just what I do, yeah,
Speaker 3: because I love doing it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm imagining you don't get particularly stressed or anxious
Speaker 1: or maybe I'm wrong.
Speaker 3: Oh, man, I do. Yeah, that's that's another reason why
Speaker 3: I have to work out and exercise. If I don't, Man,
Speaker 3: I'm yeah right stressed.
Speaker 2: Right, that's your guy, that's your got to. I want
Speaker 2: to wind up with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, some of my research on you, So my research
Speaker 1: my PI day is on a think called metaperception, which
Speaker 1: is your ability to understand your ability to understand the
Speaker 1: you experience for others. In other words, the question at
Speaker 1: the core of my research, if we personalized it for you,
Speaker 1: is what's the Rob Bell experience like for others? What
Speaker 1: do you think that is? What do you think the
Speaker 1: rob experience is like for your family, for your friends,
Speaker 1: for an audience.
Speaker 3: It's a great question. I asked the question in my
Speaker 3: podcast that makes people pause as well. And I hope
Speaker 3: and what I think though, and I'm trying to think
Speaker 3: back because not every situation is always positive. But I
Speaker 3: believe that those that I get to spend time with,
Speaker 3: and I'm fortunate enough to get to spend time with,
Speaker 3: are better off and better people because we shared the
Speaker 3: same breath, we shared the same oxygen, you share the
Speaker 3: same space, you know, and I just also pray that
Speaker 3: that make an impact in their lives, and I want,
Speaker 3: I want that's the that's the biggest why for me.
Speaker 3: But I believe in that parts to be true, that
Speaker 3: people are better off and they are better people, and
Speaker 3: they made an impact because we've got to spend time
Speaker 3: together and break bad together and go through tough times.
Speaker 1: Yeah, good fee man, Well that's that's a good answer.
Speaker 3: What's yours?
Speaker 1: Do you know? What? Like, if I'm being brutal and authentic,
Speaker 1: you know, I think probably better to ask my audience.
Speaker 1: But seeing as I'm doing a playage doing this, I'll
Speaker 1: give you an answer. I think more people that listen
Speaker 1: to my show will listen to my presentations or involved
Speaker 1: in my workshops more than not have a positive opinion.
Speaker 1: I think, you know, It's like I get to it
Speaker 1: because I have a pretty big audience somewhere on everyday show,
Speaker 1: I get two or three emails a week essentially telling
Speaker 1: me I'm a fucking idiot, which.
Speaker 2: I'm okay with.
Speaker 1: Man, Yeah, you need you need people. Look, I think
Speaker 1: some people think I'm intense, some people think I'm inspiring,
Speaker 1: some people think I'm a little bit intimidating. Which I
Speaker 1: don't like.
Speaker 2: But you know, when I used to lecture at university or.
Speaker 1: College as you call it, I would get mostly positive reviews.
Speaker 1: You know that the students would, but probably about one
Speaker 1: in ten would say something like Craig's intimidating, which you know,
Speaker 1: then I tried to address. But yeah, look, I what
Speaker 1: my intention is to help and love and inspire and
Speaker 1: empower people to explore their own you know, potential. That's
Speaker 1: my intention. I don't always do it. I'm a work
Speaker 1: in progress. But you know, I think most people think
Speaker 1: I'm pretty driven and pretty. I think they might think
Speaker 1: I'm a little obsessed, but I'm I'm not. I'm just
Speaker 1: fucking curious. And it's like, my energy at sixty is ridiculous, dude,
Speaker 1: my brain, my mind, my body, my creativity, my curiosity,
Speaker 1: my excitement. It's more than it was when I was thirty.
Speaker 1: I don't even know why. Like, nothing in me feels
Speaker 1: like I'm slowing down. I could drop dead next week,
Speaker 1: but today I feel fucking amazing. So yeah, but it's
Speaker 1: an interesting thought experiment, isn't it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good. I like that one. I asked, like,
Speaker 3: what it's like to be your client? But I like
Speaker 3: the way that you put it a lot better. Hence
Speaker 3: that's really interesting, PhD. I'll try and do this in
Speaker 3: one or two minutes for you and you'll totally understand this.
Speaker 3: But so I created a little kind of self awareness
Speaker 3: pyramid which is not really part of my research but
Speaker 3: just out of my research which I share with groups.
Speaker 3: And at the base of the pyramid.
Speaker 1: Is metacognition, just thinking about thinking, right, because most people
Speaker 1: don't really think about how they think, and most people,
Speaker 1: most people automatically think that other people think like them,
Speaker 1: which is false consensus effect, the false consensus effect, which
Speaker 1: is they think that you know what's coming out of
Speaker 1: their mouth, their intention will be the other person's experience, right,
Speaker 1: That's often not the case.
Speaker 2: And then when you think people think like you, but
Speaker 2: they don't and you don't have that awareness, that's a problem.
Speaker 2: So the next layer up, or the next you know,
Speaker 2: kind of level on the pyramid is theory of mind,
Speaker 2: is thinking about how other people think and as you know,
Speaker 2: trying to have an insight into someone else's reality in
Speaker 2: the moment. And then the next one up from that
Speaker 2: is my research which has meta perception, which is trying
Speaker 2: to understand the you experience for the rest of the world.
Speaker 2: And then at the top of that is meta accuracy,
Speaker 2: which is just basically how good you are at that.
Speaker 2: But it's funny because you know, in leadership, in coaching,
Speaker 2: in conflict resolution and problem solving, in team building, communication, developing, culture, this,
Speaker 2: all of these things are crucial.
Speaker 1: But they're not spoken about much. You know, people don't.
Speaker 1: People don't. I mean even the metaphor rob that you know,
Speaker 1: you and I are in the same comp or not
Speaker 1: the metaphor, but the reality you and I are in
Speaker 1: the same conversation but not the same experience. And let's
Speaker 1: say we have ten thousand people listen to this. No
Speaker 1: one's going to have an identical experience, although they're listening
Speaker 1: to an identical thing, you know, and that whole kind
Speaker 1: of you know, there's the having an awareness that I'm
Speaker 1: not looking at the world, I'm looking through my window
Speaker 1: at the world. So there's there's the world, and then
Speaker 1: there's my story about the world, and they're different things.
Speaker 1: There's the stimulus, and then there's my story about or
Speaker 1: response to the stimulus, which is why you throw a
Speaker 1: snake at somebody and they have a fucking heart attack.
Speaker 1: Is so throw the same snake at somebody else and
Speaker 1: they give it a cuddle.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It's like, it ain't about the snake or the stimulus,
Speaker 1: it's about.
Speaker 2: What it means to you.
Speaker 1: So that whole kind of and this isn't podcast for
Speaker 1: another day, but I love that shit. Yeah it's good man, dude.
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll go there on your show. Hey, Rob, tell
Speaker 1: people where they can follow you, find you, buy your stuff,
Speaker 1: connect with you. And I'm so grateful to.
Speaker 3: You, absolutely, man. I appreciate that. You know. If people
Speaker 3: go to my website, it's just it's doctor Robbell dot com.
Speaker 3: It's b R R O B B E L L
Speaker 3: dot com. All my books are there. I've got a
Speaker 3: I've always got it, like a free resource. It's just
Speaker 3: a focused roadmap, like seven super fast ways to win
Speaker 3: the day. But yeah, my latest book was I Can't
Speaker 3: Wait to Be Patient, and it's just all focused on
Speaker 3: the power of time, you know. And I'd be happy
Speaker 3: to send you to one mate, And but you know,
Speaker 3: all my resources are there, man, if anybody goes there,
Speaker 3: it's always a good one. Just a quick download form.
Speaker 3: But I appreciate you having me on, brother. I want
Speaker 3: to get you on mine and we've already titled your
Speaker 3: podcast and that is the same conversation, different experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, nice do what I did there?
Speaker 2: Thanks Bro.
Speaker 1: Well, we'll say goodbye affair, but for the moment Dr
Speaker 1: rob Bell appreciate you.
Speaker 2: You're a fucking superstar.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Cheers mate,