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Speaker 1: God to him. Welcome to another installing the you projectors harps.

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Speaker 1: Who else wouldn't be Tiffany and Cook. I don't know

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Speaker 1: where she is. I think she's in the hammock. I

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Speaker 1: think she's in the corporate hammock. She could be by

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Speaker 1: the pool, she could be in the jacuzzi. Who knows where.

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Speaker 1: But she'll be editing this later, but joining me. Who

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Speaker 1: has actually showed up, which is nice, unlike tiff as

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Speaker 1: doctor Rob Bell. Good ay, doc, how are you?

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Speaker 2: Oh that's great man, appreciate you having me on. But

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Speaker 2: we'll look forward to it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. I've been excited. I read about you

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Speaker 1: and I went it's like a brother from another mother.

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Speaker 1: It's like you're just where kindred spirits, I think. Can

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Speaker 1: you so for my audience who don't know you, can

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Speaker 1: you just give us a little bit of a snapshot

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Speaker 1: of the the Rob Bell story.

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Speaker 2: Wow, snapshot of the story?

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Speaker 1: Take as long as you want, long as you want.

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Speaker 1: Started in the seventies.

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Speaker 2: In the back of a car.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Sports psychology coach man so I I work with athletes,

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Speaker 2: coaches and teams on mental toughness and YEP. Written seven books,

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Speaker 2: eight books on mental toughness. One of them is an

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Speaker 2: e book, but you wrote seven You're smarter than I am, Man.

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Speaker 1: So definitely not, definitely not.

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Speaker 2: I love alterna durance sports man, I love iron Man's

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Speaker 2: and one hundred milers. Family, which is probably the most

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Speaker 2: important part. Man and Mary. We've got two kids of

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Speaker 2: daughters fifteen and son is thirteen, and Man, I just

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Speaker 2: love doing what I do, and that's just helping athletes

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Speaker 2: get to where they want to go. Point. I love

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Speaker 2: about sports so much, mate, It's just there's no ambiguity

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Speaker 2: when it comes to sports, and that's the part that

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Speaker 2: I love the most. Right. It's like in life there's

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Speaker 2: a lot of ambiguity. Who knows if that raise helps

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Speaker 2: or who know if that's a good job. But like

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Speaker 2: with sports, you just know you make the shot or

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Speaker 2: you miss the shot, right, you swim the time or

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Speaker 2: you don't swim the time. That's it always drew me

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Speaker 2: to sports, and I've always just been passionate about helping

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Speaker 2: people on when you know, when they're naked in front

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Speaker 2: of the gods out there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when did you when you were growing up, were

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Speaker 1: you an athlete? Were you into sports?

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Speaker 2: I was, man, Yeah, soccer and uh and baseball, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: those are my favorites. Man, That's what I so I

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Speaker 2: exceled at and then and then got into partying.

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Speaker 1: Uh.

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Speaker 2: You know when I was a teenage professional professional pathage

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Speaker 2: Oh man, if it was a class, I was an

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Speaker 2: A plus student on that. Any extra credit I'm in.

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Speaker 2: But it led to the downfall. Man. That's when I

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Speaker 2: got to college and just had a couple of hinge

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Speaker 2: moments that took place, and then I got into the

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Speaker 2: psychology field.

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Speaker 1: I see you use that term hinge moment. I haven't

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Speaker 1: really heard it, and I've read a bit of your stuff.

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Speaker 1: What's is that? Is that a light bulb moment, an epiphany,

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Speaker 1: an aha moment? Or is that something different?

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Speaker 2: Well, when you hear about doors opening and closing in life,

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Speaker 2: that's because of the hinge. Yeah. Yeah, So a door,

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Speaker 2: a door without a hinge as a wall, it just

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Speaker 2: doesn't work. And if you ever ever a rusty if

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Speaker 2: you ever have a rusty door, it's not the door

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Speaker 2: that's rusty at all. It's the hinge that gets rusty.

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Speaker 2: And so when we go through doors in life, what

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Speaker 2: the hinge is It's that one moment, that one person

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Speaker 2: or one event that makes all the difference in our lives.

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Speaker 2: It connects who we are with who we're going to become.

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Speaker 2: But we just don't know when that's coming. And that's

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Speaker 2: the that's the real importance of the Metal game is

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Speaker 2: you have to be ready for those moments. And sometimes

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Speaker 2: we might not know what happens to weeks, months, years later,

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Speaker 2: but it could be a coach that we had in

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Speaker 2: our lives, that one person has said, hey, you can

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Speaker 2: do this, you know, or or that that one shot

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Speaker 2: that we just said, you know what, screw it, man,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to go for it. And you know, it

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Speaker 2: connected who we are with who we became. And now

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Speaker 2: the beauty about it. And this is why use these

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Speaker 2: hinge moments because no matter how bad your situation is,

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Speaker 2: no matter how bleak an outcome looks, it only takes

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Speaker 2: one And that's what we kind of get away from, right. Hey,

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Speaker 2: it takes one client turn everything around, one person to

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Speaker 2: turn everything around your life. That's what we're getting ready for.

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Speaker 2: But so if I go through life saying, hey, this

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Speaker 2: this person really doesn't matter, this interaction really doesn't matter,

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Speaker 2: then the hind will not connect guarantee it. Yeah, it

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Speaker 2: also it also goes the other way too. It's just

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Speaker 2: that tragedies that happen in our lives, there are immediate

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Speaker 2: hinges because from that moment on Craig, everything's different. Like

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Speaker 2: death of a loved one, cancer, a significant injury, they're

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Speaker 2: immediate hinges. Everything's different after that. But that's that's why

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Speaker 2: I use the hinge moments.

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Speaker 1: A friend of mine who's been on the show a bunch,

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Speaker 1: his name's Joel. He was he was in the military.

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Speaker 1: He was I'm from Afghanistan on leave, went to a party,

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Speaker 1: fell out of a balcony, broke his neck. It's now quadriplegic,

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Speaker 1: you know. And as I often sided people when I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about Joel, you know, he can't wake up tomorrow

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Speaker 1: and say, you know what, fuck it, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to do quadriplegia anymore. I'm just going to walk around.

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Speaker 1: I'm too, I can't be bothered dealing with this. Right.

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Speaker 1: So things happen, as you said, you know, catastrophes and

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Speaker 1: terrible moments in our life where we don't have a choice.

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Speaker 1: Now we have. This is real, This is a new reality, right.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like with a lot of you know, Rob,

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Speaker 1: if you or I do a gig, we're in front

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Speaker 1: of a group of people. I do a lot of speaking,

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Speaker 1: and if I say to people, put up your hand

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Speaker 1: if you want to be fitter, lean, a lighter, stronger,

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Speaker 1: you know, more effective, more empowered, more resilient, all the

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Speaker 1: hands go up. So there's one thing to want that,

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Speaker 1: there's one thing to want change or want to be

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Speaker 1: a higher performer, whatever that means in sport or out

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Speaker 1: of sport. But then it's another thing to be willing

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Speaker 1: to step into the uncertainty, the unknown, the discomfort, the pain,

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Speaker 1: the fucking terror. Right, Like, we love the idea of

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Speaker 1: high performance and success and optimal health, but we don't,

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Speaker 1: like a lot of us, don't want to do the

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Speaker 1: work right.

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Speaker 2: M it is, man, And that's where I think You've

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Speaker 2: got to go through life knowing that you got one shot,

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Speaker 2: you know, I mean, you don't go around more than once, right,

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Speaker 2: So you have to seize the nectar and get after it.

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Speaker 2: Because that's I just basically like you know, and there's

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Speaker 2: there's opposite then too, right, But it's like you can't

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Speaker 2: go through life afraid because that just sucks, and that

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Speaker 2: means you're living on the sidelines of life. And nothing

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Speaker 2: good can happen in it. But that's where the critic lives, right,

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Speaker 2: they live up in the bleachers, not willing to sign

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Speaker 2: up for that race or whatever it is that scares you.

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Speaker 2: But that's where the fun stuff is. Man, That's why

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Speaker 2: I look at it. That's why I think man in

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Speaker 2: the arena is so powerful because the critic doesn't count.

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Speaker 2: It's that who is willing to go out there and

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Speaker 2: for the glory or the pain of defeat and knowing that,

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Speaker 2: hey man, that's just living. And that's why I always

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Speaker 2: look at and that's how I look at life too,

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Speaker 2: because it is so short and you have to seize

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Speaker 2: those moments. Man's that's all we got is that lifetime.

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Speaker 2: And that's where again it can go to the opposite

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Speaker 2: that way, right, you can say fuck it and just

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Speaker 2: you know, kill yourself, but like you have to be

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Speaker 2: willing to go for it. Man, that's where the real

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Speaker 2: success gets made.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that that drives that drive rob you know,

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Speaker 1: that willingness to do the work, That hunger, whatever, resilience,

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Speaker 1: you know, whatever we want to call it. That is

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Speaker 1: that inherent? Is that in built? Is that in my dna?

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Speaker 1: Is that genetic or is that something that is maybe

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Speaker 1: a byproduct of where I've been and what I've seen

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Speaker 1: and who I've been around.

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Speaker 2: I think it is caught more than it's taught. And

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Speaker 2: what I mean by that is that's where I spend

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Speaker 2: my life as trying to teach that. But I think

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Speaker 2: it's going through experiences in life that in the environment

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Speaker 2: that we are going to be and that has such

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Speaker 2: a huge factor to it. Right now, with that said,

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Speaker 2: the bottom line is is no matter your circumstance, no

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Speaker 2: matter what matters more is the vision. And what I

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Speaker 2: have seen is I have yet to meet anybody Craig. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that wasn't told. That's a bad idea. Don't try it.

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Speaker 2: You're not going to be successful. Forget it, man, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: not you. And so everybody who has been uber successful

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Speaker 2: in life, they were all had that moment. They all

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Speaker 2: had that And that's why I call them like lightning strikes,

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Speaker 2: because it's the most powerful force that is. It might

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Speaker 2: be somebody close to you, might have been that coach,

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Speaker 2: might have been that teacher, that teacher said, now you're

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Speaker 2: going end up just like your brother. Every one of

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Speaker 2: them who has reached that level of success was told that,

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Speaker 2: either by the circumstance or by somebody else. So why

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Speaker 2: is that that those moments helped propel them now at

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Speaker 2: the same time it has crushed many more people. Yes,

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Speaker 2: And so it's just that's the part where like, look,

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Speaker 2: these moments are going to have significant factors that and

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Speaker 2: repercussions and consequences. And it's our job again to be

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Speaker 2: in the moment to live life to its absolute fullest,

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Speaker 2: but it's our job to make sure that I think

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Speaker 2: those that are around us are equipped with those skills.

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Speaker 2: So knowing that those moments are going to happen, and

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Speaker 2: that's just how I look at them. Man, no one

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Speaker 2: who has ever been successful wasn't told that, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I think it goes beyond proving people wrong. I

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Speaker 2: think it's a fish or cut bait moment. And what

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Speaker 2: I mean by that is, you can't be on the

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Speaker 2: fence in life when you're told you're not going to

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Speaker 2: make it. You're either going to agree with that voice

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Speaker 2: that tells you you're not going to make it, or

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Speaker 2: you're going to agree with yourself. And that's then the

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Speaker 2: importance to about coaches, because usually when people are told

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Speaker 2: that they had just one person to come alongside them

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Speaker 2: and say, you don't need to listen to that coach man,

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Speaker 2: you can do this. Yeah, and it made all the

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Speaker 2: difference in their lives. And that's the part that I

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Speaker 2: knew to be true when it comes to that, you know,

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Speaker 2: nature nurture sort of thing. But I believe it's caught

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Speaker 2: more than it's tight. So I kind of hang on

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Speaker 2: that one.

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Speaker 1: When I was growing up, rob I was a not

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Speaker 1: a good academic, not a good athlete, not genetically gifted,

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Speaker 1: you know, captain mediocrity. And you know, for me to

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Speaker 1: be to me, to excel at anything just meant like

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Speaker 1: literally just doing probably more work than most people around me,

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Speaker 1: you know, because I didn't have great genetics all that stuff.

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Speaker 1: I was a morbidly obs kid. I was, I guess

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Speaker 1: the equivalent in pounds two hundred two and ten pounds

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Speaker 1: when I was fourteen, you know, all this stuff. And

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Speaker 1: I had a few hinge moments as you call them,

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Speaker 1: and and and out of one of those hinge moments,

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Speaker 1: you know, I just had this light bulb where essentially

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Speaker 1: I went, this is very simplified. But I don't want

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Speaker 1: to be like how I am. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be this way anymore. And I radically change my behavior,

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Speaker 1: which then in turn changed my thinking. I get it,

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Speaker 1: it's a two way kind of street. But I got

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Speaker 1: in shape, I got fit, I got relatively strong and healthy.

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Speaker 1: And for somebody without great genetics, I kind of tried

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Speaker 1: to figure out somewhat how to optimize them. But for me,

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Speaker 1: changing my body was great. But what it really opened

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Speaker 1: the door on for me was understanding my own potential

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Speaker 1: for not for greatness, but my version of greatness. You know.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know, my nine out of ten, what's

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Speaker 1: nine out of ten for me might be a four

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Speaker 1: for you because maybe you're more gifted, right, But I

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Speaker 1: think there's that like going through that. For me, I

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Speaker 1: lost the equivalent of about seventy pounds and got to

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Speaker 1: a weight that was about the right weight for my

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Speaker 1: then size and age and all of that, you know.

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Speaker 1: But and the weight loss was cool, and the fitness

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Speaker 1: was great, and the transformation was great, but it was

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Speaker 1: really the like the mental, emotional and social ramifications that

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Speaker 1: like I went, oh, fuck, if I can do this,

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Speaker 1: what else can I do? I think it's that that,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's almost like that that that shift in

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Speaker 1: mindset is really just a byproduct of stepping into doing

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Speaker 1: hard shits.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes, absolutely, man, And that's the best part of it, right,

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Speaker 2: stepping into the next That's what I love. I love that, man.

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Speaker 2: I mean that fires me up because I think it's

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Speaker 2: it's so true, it's been that becomes like the most

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Speaker 2: important mental skill is just the confidence and belief. And

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Speaker 2: oh man, now I do have a vision. Yes, it's powerful, man,

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Speaker 2: really powerful. That's why I think confidence belief it's the

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Speaker 2: most important metal skill.

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Speaker 1: And I guess like for me, I didn't set out

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Speaker 1: to do that. I just set out to not look

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Speaker 1: as terrible as I looked like. I was just an

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Speaker 1: auto in year old, fat, insecure kid who didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be socially invisible, right. I just wanted some girl

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Speaker 1: to go, well, he's not hideous. That would have been

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Speaker 1: a good yeah, you know, I wanted to be not

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Speaker 1: picked last for a team. Like these were not lofty goals, right.

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Speaker 1: But but it's in the doing of that where you know,

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Speaker 1: you go, ah, it's like I started to pull back

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Speaker 1: a curtain on my self awareness and self understanding, you know,

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Speaker 1: where I didn't obviously articulate it like that when I

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Speaker 1: was fourteen. But you know, getting in shape was good,

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Speaker 1: But what was more exciting and more empowering was starting

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Speaker 1: to have a window into my own potential, you know,

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Speaker 1: And I think helping people like I love helping people

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Speaker 1: open the door, pull back the curtain, whatever metaphor we

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Speaker 1: want to use, but on their own potential, power and possibilities.

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Speaker 2: You know, I mean, how can I add to that? Brother?

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Speaker 2: I just want to listen to you share the story. Man,

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Speaker 2: that's good. I mean, it's when here's here's what I

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Speaker 2: look at it though. Here's what I look at it

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Speaker 2: is like the difference that you make now in p

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Speaker 2: was lives Craigs, knowing like where you were then and

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Speaker 2: how many people that you have helped throughout life. Like,

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Speaker 2: that's the real power of it, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: If you didn't make that decision, man, do you know

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Speaker 2: how many people's lives would be different today? Yeah, because

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Speaker 2: now you said, well, you know, hey, I guess this

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Speaker 2: is how it is. No, Man, you made that choice

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Speaker 2: and you impacted how many thousands of lives because of

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Speaker 2: when they go home and they reckon you know, realize, man,

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Speaker 2: they still had your voice in their head when they

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Speaker 2: went home.

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Speaker 1: That night.

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Speaker 2: Yeah your voice saying yeah, you are awesome. Man.

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Speaker 1: It's funny like with people that thank you. I appreciate

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Speaker 1: that the people that I work with. So a bit

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Speaker 1: more backstory for you. So I set up the first

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Speaker 1: personal training censer in Australia. So in nineteen ninety personal

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Speaker 1: training was an industry. There was there was no course,

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Speaker 1: there was no qualification, there was no insurance, there was

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Speaker 1: no regulation. I started doing in maybe eighty five eighty

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Speaker 1: six in commercial gyms and then set up my own

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Speaker 1: center when I was twenty six and I had no

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Speaker 1: fucking idea what I was doing. But another one of

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Speaker 1: those hinge moments where you go shit, Like I knew

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Speaker 1: that I didn't want to have a boss a job.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to work, but I didn't want a job

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Speaker 1: right and I'm like, well, how the fuck can I

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Speaker 1: work for me? Make money? Do shit? I'm passionate about

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Speaker 1: connect with human being, keep my own evolution happening, but

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Speaker 1: not show up every day for a job which didn't

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Speaker 1: appeal to me. But you know what was like the

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Speaker 1: biggest I'll shut up after this because this is not

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Speaker 1: about me, this podcast. I apologize, But what was the

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Speaker 1: biggest learning curve. For me, rob was like being in

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Speaker 1: front of all of these humans like you think about

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Speaker 1: as a trainer or a coach or a mental like

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Speaker 1: everyone that you work with wants to be better, Like

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Speaker 1: nobody comes to you because they want to stay how

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Speaker 1: they are now better shows up as a lot of

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Speaker 1: different things physically, mentally, emotionally, skill you know, strength, power, speed,

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Speaker 1: fucking whatever, you know, resilience, And it's like for me,

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Speaker 1: that was the classroom, you know, more than university for

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Speaker 1: me being in front of all those different humans with

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Speaker 1: different drivers and different personalities and different pain thresholds and

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Speaker 1: different perceptions and different stories. You know, what about for

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Speaker 1: you like that experience? I know you worked with a

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Speaker 1: lot of athletes. What came out of that for you?

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Speaker 2: Same thing? Man? I mean I always say everyone that

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Speaker 2: we meet we can learn something from. And everyone on

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Speaker 2: this earth one way or another is you know, when

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Speaker 2: the student's ready to teacher will appear. Right. We're all

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Speaker 2: doctors and we're all and we're all patients. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 2: it's just like who were interact with. But we I

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Speaker 2: always learn more from those that I interact with and

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Speaker 2: that I help then I think they do from me.

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Speaker 2: From my standpoint, you know, whether whether it's a how

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Speaker 2: they approach something, especially working like with the really elite ones,

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Speaker 2: they all just have something that's a little bit different,

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Speaker 2: and it's like looking deep into that and saying, what

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Speaker 2: what is it that you have that's untouchable? Right, It's

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Speaker 2: like if you were to go deep in their soul,

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Speaker 2: there's like this lamp or something right with like you

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Speaker 2: just can't touch it. Like everyone I just think, like

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Speaker 2: just has that. Hopefully that metaaforre made sense. I'm trying

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Speaker 2: to think of like a laddiner, right, it was like yeah, so,

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Speaker 2: you know, And whether that is just somebody's ultimate belief

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Speaker 2: in themselves, whether it's their ability to outwork somebody else,

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Speaker 2: whether it is their ability to focus under pressure and

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Speaker 2: want to be in those situations, whether it's somebody's uh

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Speaker 2: skill of letting god mistakes and moving on, whether it's

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Speaker 2: somebody's ability to just see a painting, you know, and

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Speaker 2: to be able to go and do it. You know,

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Speaker 2: if if it's somebody to be able to connect with

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Speaker 2: somebody else, everyone has that, I totally believe it, you know,

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Speaker 2: And I've just been blessed enough to work with so

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Speaker 2: many and just try and discover what is their their

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Speaker 2: essence and how are they able to go about it?

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Speaker 2: And that's the key is you just got to be

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Speaker 2: working on then your strength all the time. And I

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Speaker 2: think that's what the the purpose is man, and then

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Speaker 2: you take that strength and how is it going to

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Speaker 2: be able to help others? Because that's where the real

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Speaker 2: joy is. That's that's why I look at them, and

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Speaker 2: the real joy is from helping others reach their goal.

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Speaker 2: It's like you you reach yours whatever it is, that's

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Speaker 2: a mountaintop moment. You're going to come back that off

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Speaker 2: that mountaintop and it's like, okay, well we're what now

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Speaker 2: what's next? No matter what it is, right, million dollars, man,

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Speaker 2: Olympic gold metal, it's and it's always getting back to men.

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Speaker 2: It's then how do I use this to be able

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Speaker 2: to help somebody else? That's where the real joy comes from.

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Speaker 1: Tell me about the dynamic rub between, Like when you're

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Speaker 1: working with somebody and you want to help them, among

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Speaker 1: other things, build you know, resilience and mental toughness and

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Speaker 1: adaptability and flexibility and all that fucking awesome stuff to

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Speaker 1: be able to perform on the pressure. But at the

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Speaker 1: same time, you don't want to be a prick. You

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Speaker 1: don't want to do you know what I'm saying, It's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we want to be understanding and where and compassionate and empathetic,

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Speaker 1: but also get the fuck up and stop being a pussy.

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Speaker 1: Like what's that juxtaposition? Like how do you how do

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Speaker 1: you navigate that? I?

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Speaker 2: Sometimes I do it, well sometimes I don't because you

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Speaker 2: have to kind of coach like that. But yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: not my natural style. I don't like always doing that right.

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Speaker 2: I might because I don't want it more than them,

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Speaker 2: because I would get wrapped up in it. Man, you know,

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Speaker 2: I mean if it's so, I look at it in

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Speaker 2: terms of you have to know that what we're going

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Speaker 2: to build first is based on love. That is based

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Speaker 2: on love and the same thing we are working together

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Speaker 2: to get you better. Well, that's not always comfortable, and

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Speaker 2: there's going to be I always tell them, like, look,

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Speaker 2: there is no growth without al Like, there's going to

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Speaker 2: be tough conversations that will be difficult. You have to

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Speaker 2: be want to go down this journey with me if

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to be the right person, And by

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Speaker 2: all means, we take a poison pill together and separate,

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Speaker 2: right will we kind of set that up beforehand because it's, uh,

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of moving parts. Yeah, and you have

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Speaker 2: to be willing to look at all the details. The

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Speaker 2: details is what becomes really important. You know, who you

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Speaker 2: surrounding yourself with? Man, what are you feeding your mind?

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Speaker 2: You know? Where are these little demons that you have

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Speaker 2: kind of hidden that you don't want to admit, you know,

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Speaker 2: wan anybody else to look at? You got to go

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Speaker 2: there because at some point they're going to show up,

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Speaker 2: and you don't want them showing up when it's the

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Speaker 2: most important time. So that's that's the part of and

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Speaker 2: then kind of like you know, into the weeds part

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Speaker 2: about coaching. A lot of times it's just throwing lobs

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Speaker 2: out there in terms of telling them somewhere or another

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Speaker 2: there I don't know, may be a little difficult for

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Speaker 2: you, It might be too difficult, It might be tough. You know,

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Speaker 2: what do they do?

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Speaker 1: Then?

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Speaker 2: All right, I'll show you, Yeah, watch me. And then

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Speaker 2: as long as that, as long as that love is base, man,

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Speaker 2: then I think people always want to be coached hard.

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Speaker 1: And I think also sometimes love doesn't feel very loving, right,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's.

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Speaker 2: That well, said, I tell come up with that one, Nah, dude.

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Speaker 1: I tell my clients all the time like I used to,

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Speaker 1: even with my personal training days back, not with a

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Speaker 1: lad athletes, not with you know, high performers, just general public.

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Speaker 1: I would say to my clients, if you want someone

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Speaker 1: to hold your hand and tell you you're amazing every four

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Speaker 1: minutes and rub your back and sing komba, I'm not

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Speaker 1: the dude, right I go. But if you want someone

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Speaker 1: who genuinely wants to help you, explore your potential, power, possibilities,

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Speaker 1: support you, care about you. But I'm more interested in

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Speaker 1: your long term potential and growth and development than I

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Speaker 1: am in making you feel good for the next three minutes.

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Speaker 1: And you know that's it. It's at the same time,

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Speaker 1: of course, I don't want to crush people, but you know,

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Speaker 1: people can't build mental toughness and resilience without doing fucking

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Speaker 1: hard things like it doesn't.

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Speaker 2: Work right, you know, and with you man, loving doesn't

429
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 2: always appear like loving.

430
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 1: Loving doesn't always feel like love, doesn't always feel loving,

431
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 1: you know. So for me, if I'm like sometimes if

432
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 1: I'm loving someone, that's not the experience they're having, But

433
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:46,360
Speaker 1: nonetheless it's coming from a platform of love from an

434
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:51,719
Speaker 1: intention of love. And the thing is that sometimes, you know,

435
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: even with audiences robs, sometimes I say to them, like,

436
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 1: even if it's a couple of hundred people, I will say,

437
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 1: I can tell you what you want to hear or

438
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 1: what you need to hear, what would you prefer because

439
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 1: I can make this kumbay are comfortable and you all

440
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 1: feel awesome, or we can, as you say, get into

441
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 1: the weeds, open a few doors and be self aware

442
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: and you know, not self loathing, just self aware. And

443
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 1: mostly they reluctantly say all right, you know, and I go.

444
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,919
Speaker 1: And the reason that like, I'm not interested in turning

445
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: up for a one hour keynote or a half day

446
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 1: workshop and boosting my popularity hopefully they like it. But

447
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,679
Speaker 1: I'm actually interested in creating an experience with a group,

448
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: an individual or a group corporate, sporting whatever that is

449
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: a catalyst for something powerful for them. And I go,

450
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not the answer. I'm not the solution.

451
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: I'm just a bloke sharing thoughts and ideas and strategies.

452
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: You're the answer that you're the solution, you know. And

453
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of coaches, and especially in

454
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 1: the fucking personal development self help space, Rob who put

455
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 1: themselves up as the solution. I fucking hate that so much.

456
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 1: It so much.

457
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 2: Well, because they're building I mean, what they're building is

458
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 2: they're building dependency, you know, and they're not building capacity.

459
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 2: We want to build capacity. And it's the same thing, man,

460
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,159
Speaker 2: I teld like, it's just the exact same thing. Man,

461
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,879
Speaker 2: I told my kids, you know what I mean, Like,

462
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 2: I don't want you on the side of the road

463
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 2: having no idea how to change his tire. I haven't

464
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 2: done my job. My job is to teach you this. Well,

465
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,719
Speaker 2: it's going to be painful going through this and one

466
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 2: d per man. I can't stand that too. I don't

467
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,679
Speaker 2: know why it bothers me so much, man, because like

468
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 2: coaches are going to put themselves out in front when

469
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 2: it's like no, you know, if they want to give

470
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 2: you credit as part of that, man, that's totally on

471
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 2: them to do it. But it's not you, man, And

472
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 2: I tell them that all the time. Man, you never

473
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 2: hit a shot, right because well we can keep going

474
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:00,920
Speaker 2: on that stuff, man, but I'm tellingly you worth you

475
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 2: a Yeah, I don't want to get you on my podcast, man,

476
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 2: Can I get you on my play hours.

477
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, but I think, thank you. I love that.

478
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: But I mean the thing is too like if I'm

479
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: making it about me, well then I'm making it about

480
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,160
Speaker 1: me and my ego, and it's like without me or nothing,

481
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 1: and it's all fucking self serving bullshit, right. It's like,

482
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 1: all I am is a resource. That's it for the people,

483
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,439
Speaker 1: the teams you're going to. I'm a resource, right that.

484
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: And I might be valuable or not on the day,

485
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 1: I might be on fire, you know whatever, but ultimately

486
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 1: what matters. It's like we're fifteen one hundred and fifteen,

487
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: at fifteen and fifty eight or something episodes into the

488
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 1: You Project, six years, over a thousand incredible guests. You're

489
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 1: one of them. But at the end of the day,

490
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:50,679
Speaker 1: it's just two blokes on a podcast talking, right. The

491
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:55,360
Speaker 1: value for the listener is what they might then do

492
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 1: as a result of a strategy, an idea, a piece

493
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: of information, a story that resonates. So I love my

494
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 1: listeners and I love them listening, but what I really

495
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: fucking love is when I get an email from someone

496
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 1: who says I heard Rob Bell say this, and I

497
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,479
Speaker 1: went and did that, and this is my outcome, and

498
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 1: then they might say, you're at your podcast changed my

499
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 1: life and I write back and go, no, it didn't.

500
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 1: I haven't changed any lives. I've influenced a few people,

501
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: but the only life I can change is mine. And

502
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 1: by the way, thousands of people listen to that episode,

503
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 1: but you're the only one who did that, so it's

504
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 1: all you well done. Yeah, you know, And as you said,

505
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 1: the moment that we start to create, you know, this

506
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 1: culture or this idea of oh wow, without me, you

507
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 1: wouldn't get there, then you know we're building an addiction,

508
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 1: which is we're building something destructive and unhealthy, you know,

509
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: in a dependency. Like I used to say to my client,

510
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 1: so this is a bad business move, but all of

511
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: my clients, I'd say, I want to teach you, train you,

512
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 1: prepare you to be able to do everything that you

513
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 1: need to do to be self sustaining, to optimize your body, nutrition, sleep, lifestyle, physiology,

514
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and then fuck you off. Right. I

515
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 1: don't want you to you know, I love you, but

516
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 1: I don't want you dependent on me, because then I've

517
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: just created another problem that you don't need. And ironically,

518
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 1: most trainers won't do that because they wanted people keep

519
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 1: people on the hook forever. But it's actually and I

520
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,439
Speaker 1: didn't do that strategically, but it's in the doing of

521
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 1: that where you become more sought after because people know that, oh,

522
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:51,120
Speaker 1: I'm not just a pay packet for him. He'd eat

523
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 1: like he really wants a bit of fuck off. He

524
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 1: really wants me to get good, and then he wants

525
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: me to continue the journey by myself. And I'm like, yes, so.

526
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, man. I tell them my athletes, I'm gonna

527
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 2: work myself out of a job.

528
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:07,360
Speaker 1: Yeah.

529
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 2: My insurance agent doesn't call me up saying hey, man,

530
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 2: we were still good. Like that never happens, you know

531
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 2: what I mean. It's like, so I tell them like

532
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 2: the same exact thing. Brother. It's like, I'm just a guide. Right,

533
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 2: You're the You're the hero hero of the story, because

534
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 2: you have to be the hero, right, You've got to

535
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 2: be the main character. Man. Yeah, and I'm certainly not

536
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 2: the hero. And the reason why two minutes because I

537
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 2: love people and I want them to be successful and

538
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 2: then to be able to, you know, just keep supporting

539
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 2: them from the sidelines, and if they need me back

540
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 2: in to help, then hey, man, I'm there for you.

541
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 2: But I'm a big believer though then that I believe

542
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 2: that there is a God and I'm not it mm yeah,

543
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 2: come dependent on somebody else on that. Like you said, man,

544
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 2: it becomes a different problem.

545
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe you're a conduit to that God, Rob. Maybe

546
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: let's hope, dude. So tell me about a hinge moment

547
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 1: in the life of Rob Bell, something that's uh was transformational,

548
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 1: that's going to resonate with us.

549
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 2: Oh man, I've had several hinge moments, and I'll share

550
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 2: this one so well, I know what's like. Which one

551
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 2: do you want? And do you want like the tragedy one,

552
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 2: do you want sort of the comedy? Do you want

553
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 2: the professional one? Or do you want the one where

554
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 2: if it's like that was really wild how this kind

555
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 2: of all came to be.

556
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: Let's do that, dude. We've got half an hour. Bro,

557
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 1: you just go wherever you want.

558
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 2: I've been Okay, right here we go, So I don't

559
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 2: I don't share this one. I don't share this one

560
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 2: a lot, but I still find this one to be

561
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 2: very impactful. I'll try and synthesize as much I can,

562
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 2: and you can tell I've told this story before. So

563
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 2: my grandmother for every Christmas she gets me Reader's Digest magazine.

564
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 2: As a teenager, that was our old gift to me.

565
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 2: Now Readers Digest magazine here in the States, Like it's

566
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 2: just a bunch of stories, you know, and it's like, okay,

567
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 2: So I would read these, you know, my own the

568
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 2: toilet sometimes and hey, thanks grandma. One would come every month.

569
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: You know.

570
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, I could have used cash, but this

571
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 2: is great. And I came across this story again, I'm

572
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 2: fourteen years old. It came across this story about runners

573
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 2: that would go on these long runs and have these

574
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 2: euphoric sensations and how they would that's why they would

575
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 2: like run all these long distances, you know, and I

576
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 2: was like, wow, that's pretty cool. Fourteen years old kind

577
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 2: of forget about it. I get into you know, high school,

578
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 2: and then I'm in college and I'm going down to

579
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 2: sports psycher out right, like I'm all in on this.

580
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 2: And I'm a senior now in college, twenty three years old.

581
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 2: And the professor in that class says, those that are

582
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 2: psychology majors, you have to do you have to replicate

583
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 2: a research study something that has been done in the past,

584
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 2: and you're going to present on it. That's going to

585
00:30:56,760 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 2: help you for you know whatever, going to grad school.

586
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 2: When she said that, an image popped in my mind.

587
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 2: And that image in my mind was that those runners

588
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 2: from the Readers Digest magazine, right, those runners everyone in

589
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 2: the sensation I'm going to go find that, you know,

590
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 2: and do that. And so I go and I kind

591
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 2: of I don't exactly find that story, but I find

592
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 2: it whatever's close enough to it, right, you know, and

593
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 2: these runners go in these long runs, have you four sensations?

594
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: And why they would keep running?

595
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: And uh?

596
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 2: And then I presented it at a conference and graduate.

597
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 2: You know, it's fine. So now I know what I

598
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 2: want to do with my life, and that's going to

599
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 2: grad school. So I need to. I apply to master's schools.

600
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 2: And I moved out to Colorado because I wanted that

601
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 2: year off right. I was a ski bomb. I skied

602
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 2: ninety seven days that year in Crest Debute, and I

603
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 2: was applying and applied to grad school, so I knew

604
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 2: exactly where I wanted to go, and I applied to

605
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 2: Temple University. And the reason why I applied to Temple

606
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 2: University was simply, uh, hey, it was one of the schools,

607
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 2: you know. So I'm like, I have the phone interview

608
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 2: with the professor and he keeps asking me about the

609
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 2: study man, you know, and I'm like, you know, I'm like,

610
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 2: in my ignorance at the time, I didn't even know

611
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 2: who I was talking to. And then what I do

612
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 2: is then I go after this phone interview because it

613
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 2: keeps drilling me about the study, you know, and I

614
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 2: was like, well, you know, yeah, and I did this

615
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 2: and it was great, you know. And it's like and

616
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 2: I go and I check up who it was, and

617
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 2: I'm talking to and the person I'm talking to whose

618
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 2: name is Michael Sachs. And he was the one who

619
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 2: coined the phrase runners high. Wow. So the study that

620
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 2: I looked at and how they had these U four sensations,

621
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 2: what runners high was all about. He was the one

622
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 2: who did that story. Now, I was a fringe candidate

623
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 2: at best, and I got an assistant ship. I got

624
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 2: into Temple University. And the only reason why I got

625
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 2: into Temple University is my grandmother would get me readers,

626
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 2: digest magazines. If she never gets me magaz things, I

627
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 2: guarantee you I never come across that. I don't get

628
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 2: into grad school, don't meet my wife, don't go on

629
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 2: to Diversity Tennessee, and my story and path would have

630
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: been different. But because she did, and because I had

631
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 2: that story, man, so a reader Digest magazine became a

632
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 2: hinge moment, and that's how small hinges can swing big doors.

633
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 1: Wow, dude, that's such a good story. That's like that, man, Yeah,

634
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 1: I love it. That's amazing, all right, So let's.

635
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 2: I don't tell that one a lot, you know what

636
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 2: I mean?

637
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: No, I love that. I love that, And it's just

638
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 1: it's so true. It's so true that the you know,

639
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 1: sliding door moments, whatever hinge moments. It's tell us about

640
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 1: your definition of mental toughness. Not not necessarily what the

641
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 1: you know, the field says, but what is it for

642
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: you when you try to explain it to a not try,

643
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: but when you explain it, what is it? What does

644
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 1: it look like? How does it? How does it work?

645
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, academics need to come up with their own definitions

646
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 2: because they need to publish. So it's like, well, let

647
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 2: me just go to this own definition of mental toughness.

648
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 2: So there's tons out there, but I'm in a jeans

649
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,720
Speaker 2: and T shirt. Kind of guy. Right, Let's keep this simple.

650
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 2: Mental toughness is how we deal handle and cope with

651
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 2: the adversity, the struggle and the setbacks in life. That's

652
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 2: all it is. It's not a matter of if. It's

653
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:22,840
Speaker 2: just a matter of when and what it's going to

654
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 2: look like now, depending on what our field is. Right.

655
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 2: But mental toughness, oftentimes you know it's not going to

656
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 2: win us anything, but if we don't have it, it

657
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 2: will lose it for us. Yeah, And that's how I

658
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 2: define it. And the other part that you can look

659
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 2: at mental toughness is how you perform well under pressure.

660
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:44,800
Speaker 2: That is the other part of it as well. And

661
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 2: if you're in it, then you will face pressure and

662
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 2: it's how you deal with that. That's how I define it.

663
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: Maybe, Yeah, thank you. It's interesting. We talk about black

664
00:34:56,040 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 1: a lot in sport. Obviously a hot performance. But I

665
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: do a fair bit of work over here with Victor.

666
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 1: I live in the state of Victoria, so Victoria Police.

667
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: I do some work with them and a bunch of

668
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 1: other organizations. But so I talk regularly about the idea

669
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 1: of high performance, and I have to clarify and I

670
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 1: go so when I'm talking about high performance. I'm for

671
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 1: this conversation. I'm not talking about Olympic gold. I'm not

672
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 1: talking about curing cancer, Nobel prizes, joining the Space program.

673
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 1: I'm talking about your ability to get the most out

674
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 1: of you, Like what is your potential on? How close

675
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 1: to that are you? Like? What are you? And I

676
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,799
Speaker 1: always tell the story about my mum. Who's My mumm

677
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:43,439
Speaker 1: is eighty four. She weighs about one hundred pounds. She's

678
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 1: five one on a good day. She's had cancer three times,

679
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 1: she was meant to die multiple times. She's had a

680
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 1: heart attack, she had half a lung removed. And I

681
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 1: spoke to her about an hour ago and she's the

682
00:35:55,800 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 1: most upbeat, positive, Like she was going through chemo. She

683
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: had five months of chemo therapy. She went down to

684
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 1: thirty eight kilos, which is about eighty pounds. She had

685
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 1: blood noses every day, she couldn't taste, she lost most

686
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 1: of her hair. And I would ring her and she

687
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 1: would ask me if I'm eating enough? Because you know,

688
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: when I saw you last weekend, you look gaunt. I'm like,

689
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: you weigh eighty pounds. My leg weighs eighty pounds, and

690
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,400
Speaker 1: you know, like in the middle of all of her shit.

691
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:37,359
Speaker 1: You know, in the middle of absolute physical, mental, emotional chaos,

692
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: she was worried about me and she wasn't complaining, you know.

693
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: So for me, that's high performance, that's resilience, that's adaptability,

694
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 1: that's optimal mindset. Doesn't mean she never has a bad day,

695
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:55,240
Speaker 1: but you know, so for me, that idea of helping

696
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: people just move towards whatever their version of high performance

697
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 1: looks like.

698
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,399
Speaker 2: You know, you know, I always look at this too,

699
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 2: because it's uh, you know, in the book like a

700
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 2: man search for meeting Victor Frankel, right, like we get

701
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 2: meaning from our suffering. So whatever like you're going through,

702
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 2: you have to find meaning in that suffering because that

703
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 2: is where you're given a different perspective. And I look

704
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 2: at like perspective and gratitude as like the superpowers, you know,

705
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 2: if you can have those the perspective of man just

706
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 2: really because all maybe just take things for granted, right,

707
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:35,399
Speaker 2: it's just how we are.

708
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 3: Man.

709
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,359
Speaker 2: It's like, but when you can but when you can

710
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 2: take that cup of coffee as the best cup of

711
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 2: coffee in the world and like really mean it, like

712
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 2: you don't need to, yeah, And then that's gratitude and perspective,

713
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 2: and I think, like it's going through really really difficult

714
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 2: things like that and near death experiences, when the essence

715
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,720
Speaker 2: of life just comes out and it's everything simple.

716
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 1: For sometimes I think I live. Where I'm at right

717
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 1: now is upstairs at my house in my office and

718
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 1: straight downstairs kitchen lounge, all that shit, right, But sometimes

719
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 1: this is weird. But sometimes I'm walking at night. I

720
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 1: walk up the stairs and I've got like a drink

721
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: in one hand, I've got a near thing and I'm talking.

722
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 1: I'm having a conversation with someone. I've got my dinner

723
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 1: on the other hand. I'm walking up the stairs, I'm

724
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 1: twisting around the thing, I'm doing all this shit, and

725
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: I just have this moment, how fucking amazing is my body?

726
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 3: Like?

727
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: How good? This is funny rob But I'm like, especially

728
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:36,280
Speaker 1: after I spend time with my friend Joel, who's a quad,

729
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,399
Speaker 1: I'm like, how good is walking? I can stand up

730
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: out of this chair. I've got five or six friends

731
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: who can't do that. They can't they can't push back

732
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 1: the chair like I am right now and stand up

733
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: and walk to the door. They can't do it. But

734
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: if all of a sudden perish the thought, you know,

735
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 1: you or I with that or me anyway, you know,

736
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: like all all you would want, you would give everything.

737
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 1: You have to be able to push the chair back,

738
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 1: stand up and walk to the door. Right, But we

739
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,879
Speaker 1: can do it. We can turn on a tap, there's

740
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: hot water, we can push a button, there's cool air.

741
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 1: I can walk out and get in my car, drive

742
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 1: to the gym with two million dollars worth of equipment

743
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,319
Speaker 1: for ten bucks a day and a week. And you know,

744
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 1: like my life is so fucking privileged that I have

745
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 1: to keep doing a stock take otherwise I forget, you.

746
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:32,799
Speaker 2: Know, yeah, absolutely, man, I remember, like and I try

747
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:34,799
Speaker 2: to remind myself of that one all the time, Like

748
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 2: when I go down and fill up my water bottle

749
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 2: in the morning with ice, the ice is what does

750
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 2: it for me? Because I just remind myself as there

751
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 2: are people in this world that don't have ice. Man, Yeah,

752
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 2: look at this ice. Look how awesome this is. And

753
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 2: I'm the same thing man, when I'm like, you know,

754
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 2: even stuff are like with some injuries and stuff like that.

755
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 2: And I heard this one absolutely, But it's like, when

756
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 2: you are healthy, you have thousands of wishes a day.

757
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 2: What do you want you're healthy when you're unhealthy. You

758
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:10,240
Speaker 2: got one wish?

759
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, so true, so true. Dude, Hey, I want to

760
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 1: talk to you a little bit about have you got

761
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 1: another ten or fifteen minutes?

762
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 2: Rob, Yeah, man, let's do it.

763
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,280
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you a little bit about

764
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 1: I'm fired.

765
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 2: I'm fired up, by the way, manly.

766
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 1: I'm yeah, I'm good. You know, sometimes I forget, well

767
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 1: I don't really, but I almost forget I'm on a podcast,

768
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: especially when I I mean, I like most people, but

769
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 1: when I connect with someone that I really like and

770
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 1: I respect and I'm vibing with. So I want to

771
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: talk to you a bit.

772
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:45,959
Speaker 4: About, you know, the idea of you know, doing better,

773
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 4: thinking better, building habits, behaviors, living in alignment with our values, goals,

774
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 4: all that fucking self help stuff, which is all true.

775
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: But there's the idea and then there's the messy, uncomfortable,

776
00:40:56,200 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 1: practical journey, right, And I think what often gets in

777
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,760
Speaker 1: the way for many people is, you know, self doubt,

778
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:07,839
Speaker 1: self loathing, fear, self limiting beliefs, all of that. And

779
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: that's not rare, that's common. And even me, I have

780
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: my own bullshit. I overthink some things. I still have

781
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome. Even though I've done some good stuff, I

782
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: still have self doubt. I still you know, all that bullshit, right,

783
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 1: but I learned to coexist with it and turn the

784
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: volume down on it.

785
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:24,799
Speaker 2: Right.

786
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 1: So people who are listening to this and going, yeah,

787
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 1: that's all right, YouTube buffheads, but you know, I'm fucking

788
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 1: riddled with fear or I think I'm shit, or you know,

789
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: I have so much self doubt.

790
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 3: And any ideas around overcoming, not eliminating or eradicating, but

791
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 3: turning down the volume on that stuff that's self limiting,

792
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 3: you know, in a chaos.

793
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 2: Rob I believe that we can act away into rate

794
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,400
Speaker 2: thinking easier than trying to think your way in a

795
00:41:58,480 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 2: rate of acting.

796
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 1: Oh. I love that.

797
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 2: And the reason why I've always loved on that is

798
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 2: because it's you know, just take the first step, man,

799
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 2: Just sign up for the race. Man, you sign up

800
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,439
Speaker 2: for the race. What's the hardest thing about doing the race?

801
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 2: Signing up for the race. Once you sign up for

802
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 2: the race, and I just use this as an example

803
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 2: because it's an easy one. It's slow hanging fruit. But

804
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,280
Speaker 2: you sign up for the race, your attitude and outlook

805
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,759
Speaker 2: changes immediately. Yeah, because now you have that goal and

806
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 2: now you have the vision and the little thing. So

807
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 2: I always say, like, you know, you act your way

808
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 2: into right thinking, and then you just got to start

809
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 2: with one thing. I think too often we kind of

810
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 2: go down this path of picking two three things that

811
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 2: we really want to get better, and well, if three

812
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 2: are good, why not just pick four. It doesn't work

813
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 2: like that. You just got to pick one area and

814
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:55,840
Speaker 2: just master that. Just master that, and then what happens

815
00:42:55,920 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 2: is other things start to line up. So let's just say,

816
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,319
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna cut out ice cream, like, no more

817
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,799
Speaker 2: desserts or whatever, no more, I'm just gonna cut that out.

818
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And and then you don't have to cut

819
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,399
Speaker 2: that out and then sugar and stuff like that out

820
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 2: of the whole day. You're just cutting out the desserts. Man.

821
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:23,920
Speaker 2: And then you do that, you give yourself a confidence

822
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:27,360
Speaker 2: because you are going to achieve it. You give yourself

823
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 2: the confidence. You're going to give yourself that focus, that determination,

824
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 2: and then other things are gonna line up. It's just

825
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:37,879
Speaker 2: how it happens, right, Because if you're giving this up,

826
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 2: why not just have a little more water throughout the day? Right? Well,

827
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 2: want to just go for that one more walk or

828
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 2: something like that, and it doesn't have to be like

829
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 2: the goal. The goal is the no dessert, but the

830
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 2: other things line up. And now, the one part that

831
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 2: is so important about that journey is no matter what

832
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,280
Speaker 2: journey you're going to be going on towards betterment, improvement, man,

833
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:02,239
Speaker 2: there are going to be set. You've got to understand that.

834
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 2: So the fact that you cut out dessert doesn't mean hey,

835
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 2: there might not there might be a slip a couple

836
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 2: weeks down the road. Yeah, and you know what, so

837
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,959
Speaker 2: fucking what? Yeah, But what happens is is we eat

838
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 2: the dessert and then we say, all the thoughts start

839
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 2: coming back. And that's where the real demon lies, not

840
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 2: the fact they eat dessert. You just discounted these last

841
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:29,880
Speaker 2: two weeks that you've done, and now every failure that

842
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 2: you've had, like in the past, comes back and it

843
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:34,879
Speaker 2: starts telling you, look, see, I told you couldn't do it. Man,

844
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 2: why do you even try setting that goal to begin with?

845
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 2: When you have to understand, Look, it was just one dessert, man,

846
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 2: get back on it. That becomes then the real importance.

847
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 2: And that's where I think the real mental toughness and

848
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:50,239
Speaker 2: real resiliency and strength comes into place. After you have that.

849
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,319
Speaker 2: You don't have to say screw it, I blew it.

850
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,480
Speaker 2: You just say, you know what, Yeah, I messed up, man.

851
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 2: And that's the difference between a lapse and and a collapse.

852
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 2: Different between a relapse and a collapse is that, man,

853
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 2: is how your attitude and outlook remains.

854
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 1: You know.

855
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 2: They looked at addicts, man, Addicts that have fallen off

856
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 2: the wagon. They had to drink and they they ended

857
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,319
Speaker 2: up gotting sober as opposed to those that didn't. And

858
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 2: you know what, the big thing underneath it was those

859
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 2: that had to drink but still end up getting sober

860
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 2: know that that wasn't them and that wasn't their identity.

861
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 2: That they still believe that they could be successful. Those

862
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 2: that didn't it became a collapse, man, because they thought, man,

863
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 2: that was their identity. Man, everything was in that, you know,

864
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 2: and look, I couldn't do it. And then that's man,

865
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 2: where there's a lot of deep layers to that one.

866
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 2: But that's the part is like you're going to mess up,

867
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,480
Speaker 2: you still just have to keep on going. That's the

868
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 2: big thing, man, Because flat tire on your way to

869
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 2: Sydney doesn't mean you got to turn all the way

870
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 2: back around and go back to Melbourne. You just change

871
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 2: the tire and you keep going.

872
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 1: You know, look at you chucking in the fucking the

873
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 1: Aussie references beautiful OSI podcast.

874
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 2: What was that? What was that race from Melbourne to Sydney?

875
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, so there. Yeah, I don't know that they'd do

876
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: it so much anymore, but for a very long time

877
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 1: he used to be sponsored by a big shopping center

878
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 1: out here called Westfield. And yeah, so yeah, they would,

879
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 1: they would, they would race from Melbourne to I don't

880
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: even I should Cliff. So there was there was a farmer,

881
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 1: basically untrained dude. I think he was fifty five or sixty.

882
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: He'd never done anything competitive, but he spent his life

883
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 1: running around a farm literally all day, every day, not

884
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 1: all day, but and he was just had this but

885
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,840
Speaker 1: what he was able to do, Like he ran slower

886
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 1: than everybody else, but he ran fucking twenty hours a day.

887
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:52,280
Speaker 1: Yeah right, so while everyone yeah, he just kept going dude.

888
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,240
Speaker 1: So and that's and that's life.

889
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 2: Rather like it's a game of attrition. You're staying the

890
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 2: game long enough, you will be sixcess us. Will I

891
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,440
Speaker 2: guarantee it you know, because it's not how fashion do,

892
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 2: it's who slows down the least.

893
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's I mean one of the things that

894
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:13,400
Speaker 1: I get, which I understand, but I kind of correct

895
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 1: once I start my presentation. Sometimes I get introduced as

896
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,920
Speaker 1: a motivational speaker, right, which I'm not. I'm an educator,

897
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 1: I'm a coach whatever, right, And then I talk about motivation,

898
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 1: and you know, the thing is that, like in the

899
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 1: sense of getting shit done. You know when we talk

900
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 1: about motivation as a state that we get in, you know, inspiration, motivation,

901
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 1: that heightened emotion, and people think that's the key, and

902
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 1: I kind of unpack that with them and go, look,

903
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 1: when you're motivated in that state, it's great, but you know,

904
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 1: there's going to come a point in time and it

905
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 1: could be tonight, or it could be tomorrow, it could

906
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 1: be a month, but where you're not motivated. And I

907
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 1: would say to all of my clients, you know, athletes,

908
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:57,920
Speaker 1: et cetera, I don't care what you do when you're motivated.

909
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:59,800
Speaker 1: I care what you do when you can't be fucked.

910
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: I care what you do when no one's watching. I

911
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: care what you do when you don't want to get

912
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 1: out of bed. I care what you do when you've

913
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 1: got zero inspiration, right, because it's our ability to be

914
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:10,920
Speaker 1: able to do those things that we don't want to

915
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: do when we're getting no accolades, no cheer squad, no

916
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: fucking trophy, no pat on the back, no validation. You know,

917
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,879
Speaker 1: that's the thing. And it's that ability to be able

918
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 1: to I know, you know all of this, but to

919
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 1: be able to just suck it up and go. I

920
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 1: don't want to do it, but I need to do it.

921
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:32,880
Speaker 1: Off I go. You know, And it's that you know, people, people,

922
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:34,640
Speaker 1: so many people have said to me over the years,

923
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: you know, I just lost motivation. I'm like, and and

924
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,760
Speaker 1: I go, welcome to the human club. We all fucking

925
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 1: lose motivation, you know. It's like people say to me, like,

926
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 1: I started lifting weights when I was fifteen, so I

927
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,839
Speaker 1: pretty much have not stopped for forty five years. I'm sixty, right,

928
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 1: and I'm not a superstar. I don't have great genetics,

929
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,800
Speaker 1: but for my age, et cetera, I'm in not bad shape.

930
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 1: Every every gig I do, some bloke will come up

931
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 1: to talk to me and say something like, how do

932
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 1: you stay motivated to hit the gym? Every day and

933
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 1: I go I don't. It's literally hardwired into my operating system.

934
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 1: It requires zero discipline, zero self control, zero willpower, zero

935
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 1: motivation because it's literally intertwined with who I am and

936
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 1: how I am. It just takes a while right for

937
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 1: people to get that. It ain't about how inspired you

938
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:29,840
Speaker 1: can be for a.

939
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:35,399
Speaker 2: Day one hundred percent man's And that's why I think

940
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 2: it gets that lifestyle, you know, it is when it

941
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 2: becomes intertwined. If this is just what I do now,

942
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 2: I love it, man, because it's fun for me. You know.

943
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:58,520
Speaker 2: It's my thing is running, and it's it's there at

944
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 2: five thirty in the morning when it's dark out and

945
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 2: I get to run with my chocolate lab. That's the

946
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 2: best part, man, for me, because it's quiet. I'm getting

947
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 2: after it. I'm focusing on my breathing and it's still,

948
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:15,360
Speaker 2: you know, and I'll pray out there and just enjoy

949
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 2: that moment. And I mean I never run with any

950
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 2: music nothing, man. I don't need a distraction when it

951
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 2: comes out. I just need to be in the moment.

952
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:28,839
Speaker 2: But it's it's not like it's just what I do, yeah,

953
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 2: because I love doing it.

954
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm imagining you don't get particularly stressed or anxious

955
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 1: or maybe I'm wrong, Oh.

956
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 2: Man, I do. Yeah, that's that's another reason why I

957
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 2: have to work out and exercise. If I don't, Man,

958
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 2: I'm yeah right stressed.

959
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,319
Speaker 1: Right, that's your gut, that's your got to. I want

960
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 1: to wind up with.

961
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:51,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

962
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 1: Some of my research on you, So my research my

963
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,400
Speaker 1: PI day is on a think called metaperception, which is

964
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 1: your ability to understand your ability to understand the you

965
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 1: experience for others. In other words, the question at the

966
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 1: core of my research, if we personalized it for you,

967
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 1: is what's the Rob Bell experience like for others? What

968
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 1: do you think that is? What do you think the

969
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 1: rob experience is like for your family, for your friends,

970
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 1: for an audience.

971
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 2: It's a great question. I asked the question in my

972
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 2: podcast that makes people pause as well. And I hope

973
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 2: and what I think though, and I'm trying to think

974
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 2: back because not every situation is always positive. But I

975
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:54,400
Speaker 2: believe that those that I get to spend time with,

976
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:57,839
Speaker 2: and I'm fortunate enough to get to spend time with, are

977
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 2: better off and better people because we shared the same breath,

978
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,800
Speaker 2: we shared the same oxygen, you share the same space,

979
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:09,680
Speaker 2: you know, and I just also pray that that make

980
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:15,839
Speaker 2: an impact in their lives, and I want, I want

981
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 2: that's the that's the biggest why for me. But I

982
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 2: believe in that parts to be true, that people are

983
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 2: better off and they are better people, and they made

984
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 2: an impact because we've got to spend time together and

985
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 2: break bad together and go through tough times.

986
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, good fee man, Well that's that's a good answer.

987
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:35,799
Speaker 2: What's yours? Do you know?

988
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 1: What? Like, if I'm being brutal and authentic, you know,

989
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:47,279
Speaker 1: I think probably better to ask my audience. But seeing

990
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: as I'm doing a playage doing this, I'll give you

991
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 1: an answer. I think more people that listen to my

992
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 1: show will listen to my presentations or involved in my

993
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: workshops more than not have a positive opinion. I think,

994
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 1: you know, It's like I get to it because I

995
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 1: have a pretty big audience somewhere on everyday show, I

996
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,799
Speaker 1: get two or three emails a week essentially telling me

997
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:18,280
Speaker 1: I'm a fucking idiot, which I'm okay with. Man, Yeah,

998
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:24,120
Speaker 1: you need you need people. Look, I think some people

999
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:29,280
Speaker 1: think I'm intense, some people think I'm inspiring, some people

1000
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:32,839
Speaker 1: think i'm a little bit intimidating, which I don't like.

1001
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 1: But you know, when I used to lecture at university

1002
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 1: or college as you call it, I would get mostly

1003
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 1: positive reviews. You know that the students would but probably

1004
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:48,759
Speaker 1: about one in ten would say something like Craig's intimidating,

1005
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:53,240
Speaker 1: which you know then I tried to address. But yeah, look,

1006
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 1: I what my intention is to help and love and

1007
00:53:57,280 --> 00:54:01,800
Speaker 1: inspire and empower people to explore their own you know, potential.

1008
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 1: That's my intention. I don't always do it. I'm a

1009
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:10,760
Speaker 1: work in progress, but you know, I think most people

1010
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 1: think I'm pretty driven and pretty. I think they might

1011
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:23,319
Speaker 1: think I'm a little obsessed, but I'm I'm not. I'm

1012
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 1: just fucking curious. And it's like, my energy at sixty

1013
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 1: is ridiculous, dude, My brain, my mind, my body, my creativity,

1014
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:35,839
Speaker 1: my curiosity, my excitement. It's more than it was when

1015
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:39,240
Speaker 1: I was thirty. I don't even know why. Like, nothing

1016
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:41,640
Speaker 1: in me feels like I'm slowing down. I could drop

1017
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:46,399
Speaker 1: dead next week, but today I feel fucking amazing. So yeah,

1018
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: but it's an interesting thought experiment, isn't it.

1019
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good. I like that one I asked, like,

1020
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 2: what it's like to be your client, but I like

1021
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 2: the way that you put it a lot better.

1022
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 1: Hence that's really interesting, PhD. I'll try and do this

1023
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:05,800
Speaker 1: in one or two minutes for you and you'll totally

1024
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,880
Speaker 1: understand this. But so I created a little kind of

1025
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: self awareness pyramid which is not really part of my

1026
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 1: research but just out of my research which I share

1027
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: with groups. And at the base of the pyramid is metacognition,

1028
00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 1: just thinking about thinking, right, because most people don't really

1029
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:27,400
Speaker 1: think about how they think, and most people, most people

1030
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: automatically think that other people think like them, which is

1031
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:34,399
Speaker 1: false consensus effect, the false consensus effect, which is they

1032
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:36,920
Speaker 1: think that you know what's coming out of their mouth,

1033
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 1: their intention will be the other person's experience, right, That's

1034
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:44,160
Speaker 1: often not the case. And then when you think people

1035
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,319
Speaker 1: think like you, but they don't and you don't have

1036
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:50,120
Speaker 1: that awareness, that's a problem. So the next layer up,

1037
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,239
Speaker 1: or the next you know, kind of level on the

1038
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:55,719
Speaker 1: pyramid is theory of mind, is thinking about how other

1039
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:58,319
Speaker 1: people think and as you know, trying to have an

1040
00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 1: insight into someone else's reality in the moment. And then

1041
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 1: the next one up from that is my research which

1042
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 1: has meta perception, which is trying to understand the you

1043
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,480
Speaker 1: experience for the rest of the world. And then at

1044
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 1: the top of that is meta accuracy, which is just

1045
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,480
Speaker 1: basically how good you are at that. But it's funny

1046
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:20,160
Speaker 1: because you know, in leadership, in coaching, in conflict resolution

1047
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 1: and problem solving, in team building, communication, developing, culture, this,

1048
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 1: all of these things are crucial, but they're not spoken

1049
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:35,799
Speaker 1: about much. You know, people don't. People don't. I mean

1050
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 1: even the metaphor rob that you know, you and I

1051
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:40,279
Speaker 1: are in the same comp or not the metaphor, but

1052
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 1: the reality you and I are in the same conversation

1053
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 1: but not the same experience. And let's say we have

1054
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:47,759
Speaker 1: ten thousand people listen to this. No one's going to

1055
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:51,239
Speaker 1: have an identical experience, although they're listening to an identical thing,

1056
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 1: you know, and that whole kind of you know, there's

1057
00:56:55,640 --> 00:57:00,360
Speaker 1: the having an awareness that I'm not looking at the world.

1058
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 1: I'm looking through my window at the world. So there's

1059
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:06,400
Speaker 1: there's the world, and then there's my story about the world,

1060
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 1: and they're different things. There's the stimulus, and then there's

1061
00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:13,400
Speaker 1: my story about or response to the stimulus, which is

1062
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:16,600
Speaker 1: why you throw a snake at somebody, and they have

1063
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:19,920
Speaker 1: a fucking heart attack is so throw the same snake

1064
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:22,880
Speaker 1: at somebody else and they give it a cuddle. You know.

1065
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 1: It's like, it ain't about the snake or the stimulus,

1066
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 1: it's about what it means to you. So that whole

1067
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 1: kind of and this isn't podcast for another day, but

1068
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 1: I love that shit. Yeah it's good man, dude. Maybe

1069
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 1: we'll go there on your show. Hey, Rob, tell people

1070
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 1: where they can follow you, find you, buy your stuff,

1071
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 1: connect with you. And I'm so grateful to.

1072
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:47,960
Speaker 2: You, absolutely, man. I appreciate that. You know. If people

1073
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 2: go to my website, it's just it's doctor Robbell dot com.

1074
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 2: It's b R R O B B E l L

1075
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 2: dot com. All my books are there. I've got a

1076
00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:58,360
Speaker 2: I've always got it, like a free resource. It's just

1077
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 2: a focused roadmap, like seven super fast ways to win

1078
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 2: the day. But yeah, my latest book was I Can't

1079
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,280
Speaker 2: Wait to Be Patient, and it's just all focused on

1080
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 2: the power of time, you know. And I'd be happy

1081
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:16,120
Speaker 2: to send you to one mate, And but you know,

1082
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 2: all my resources are there, man, if anybody goes there,

1083
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 2: it's always a good one. Just a quick download form.

1084
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 2: But I appreciate you having me on brother, I want

1085
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 2: to get you on mine and we've already titled your

1086
00:58:25,560 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 2: podcast and that is the same conversation, different experience.

1087
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:33,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, nice, do what I did there? Thanks Bro. Well,

1088
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:36,440
Speaker 1: we'll say goodbye affair, but for the moment, Dr rob

1089
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,920
Speaker 1: Bell appreciate you. You're a fucking superstar. Thank you.

1090
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:41,080
Speaker 2: Cheers mate,