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Speaker 1: I ad to welcome to another installing the you projectors harps.

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Speaker 1: Who else wouldn't be Tiffany and Cook. I don't know

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Speaker 1: where she is. I think she's in the hammock. I

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Speaker 1: think she's in the corporate hammock. She could be by

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Speaker 1: the pool, she could be in the jacuzzi. Who knows where.

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Speaker 1: But she'll be editing this later, but joining me. Who

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Speaker 1: has actually showed up, which is nice, unlike tiff as

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Speaker 1: doctor Rob Bell.

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Speaker 2: Good ay, doc, how are you?

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Speaker 3: Oh that's great man, appreciate you having me on. But

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Speaker 3: we'll look forward to it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. I've been excited. I read about you

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Speaker 1: and I went it's like a brother from another mother.

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Speaker 1: It's like you're just where kindred spirits, I think, can

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Speaker 1: you so for my audience who don't know you, can

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Speaker 1: you just give us a little bit of a snapshot.

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Speaker 2: Of the the Rob Bell story?

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Speaker 3: Wow, snapshot of the story?

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Speaker 2: Take as long as you want, long as you want.

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Speaker 2: Started in the seventies.

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Speaker 3: In the back of a car.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Sports psychology coach man so I I work with athletes,

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Speaker 3: coaches and teams on mental toughness and YEP. Written seven books,

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Speaker 3: eight books on mental toughness. One of them is an

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Speaker 3: e book, but you wrote seven You're smarter than I am, Man.

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Speaker 2: So definitely not, definitely not.

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Speaker 3: I love alterna durance sports man, I love iron Man's

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Speaker 3: and one hundred milers. Family, which is probably the most

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Speaker 3: important part. Man and Mary. We've got two kids of

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Speaker 3: daughters fifteen and son is thirteen, and Man, I just

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Speaker 3: love doing what I do, and that's just helping athletes

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Speaker 3: get to where they want to go. Point. I love

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Speaker 3: about sports so much, mate, It's just there's no ambiguity

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Speaker 3: when it comes to sports, and that's the part that

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Speaker 3: I love the most. Right. It's like in life there's

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Speaker 3: a lot of ambiguity. Who knows if that raise helps

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Speaker 3: or who know if that's a good job. But like

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Speaker 3: with sports, you just know you make the shot or

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Speaker 3: you miss the shot, right, you swim the time or

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Speaker 3: you don't swim the time. That's it always drew me

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Speaker 3: to sports, and I've always just been passionate about helping

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Speaker 3: people on when you know, when they're naked in front

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Speaker 3: of the gods out there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when did you when you were growing up, were

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Speaker 1: you an athlete?

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Speaker 2: Were you into sports?

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Speaker 3: I was, man, Yeah, soccer and uh and baseball, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: those are my favorites. Man, That's what I so I

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Speaker 3: exceled at and then and then got into partying.

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Speaker 1: Uh.

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Speaker 3: You know when I was a teenage professional professional pathage

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Speaker 3: Oh man, if it was a class, I was an

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Speaker 3: A plus student on that. Any extra credit I'm in.

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Speaker 3: But it led to the downfall. Man. That's when I

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Speaker 3: got to college and just had a couple of hinge

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Speaker 3: moments that took place, and then I got into the

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Speaker 3: psychology field.

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Speaker 1: I see you use that term hinge moment. I haven't

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Speaker 1: really heard it, and I've read a bit of your stuff.

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Speaker 1: What's is that? Is that a light bulb moment, an epiphany,

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Speaker 1: an aha moment?

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Speaker 2: Or is that something different?

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Speaker 3: Well, when you hear about doors opening and closing in life,

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Speaker 3: that's because of the hinge. Yeah. Yeah, So a door,

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Speaker 3: a door without a hinge as a wall, it just

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Speaker 3: doesn't work. And if you ever ever a rusty if

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Speaker 3: you ever have a rusty door, it's not the door

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Speaker 3: that's rusty at all. It's the hinge that gets rusty.

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Speaker 3: And so when we go through doors in life, what

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Speaker 3: the hinge is It's that one moment, that one person

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Speaker 3: or one event that makes all the difference in our lives.

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Speaker 3: It connects who we are with who we're going to become.

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Speaker 3: But we just don't know when that's coming. And that's

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Speaker 3: the that's the real importance of the Metal game is

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Speaker 3: you have to be ready for those moments. And sometimes

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Speaker 3: we might not know what happens to weeks, months, years later,

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Speaker 3: but it could be a coach that we had in

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Speaker 3: our lives, that one person has said, hey, you can

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Speaker 3: do this, you know, or or that that one shot

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Speaker 3: that we just said, you know what, screw it, man,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to go for it. And you know, it

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Speaker 3: connected who we are with who we became. And now

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Speaker 3: the beauty about it. And this is why use these

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Speaker 3: hinge moments because no matter how bad your situation is,

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Speaker 3: no matter how bleak an outcome looks, it only takes

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Speaker 3: one And that's what we kind of get away from, right. Hey,

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Speaker 3: it takes one client turn everything around, one person to

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Speaker 3: turn everything around your life. That's what we're getting ready for.

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Speaker 3: But so if I go through life saying, hey, this

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Speaker 3: this person really doesn't matter, this interaction really doesn't matter,

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Speaker 3: then the hinde will not connect guarantee it. Yeah, it

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Speaker 3: also it also goes the other way too. It's just

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Speaker 3: that tragedies that happen in our lives, there are immediate

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Speaker 3: hinges because from that moment on Craig, everything's different. Like

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Speaker 3: death of a loved one, cancer, a significant injury, they're

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Speaker 3: immediate hinges. Everything's different after that. But that's that's why

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Speaker 3: I use the hinge moments.

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Speaker 2: A friend of mine who's been on the show a bunch,

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Speaker 2: his name's Joel. He was he was in the military.

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Speaker 1: He was I'm from Afghanistan on leave, went to a party,

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Speaker 1: fell out of a balcony, broke his neck. It's now quadriplegic,

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Speaker 1: you know. And as I often cited people when I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about Joel, you know, he can't wake up tomorrow

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Speaker 1: and say, you know what, fuck it, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to do quadriplegia anymore. I'm just going to walk around.

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Speaker 1: I'm too I can't be bothered dealing with this, right.

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Speaker 1: So things happen, as you said, you know, catastrophes and

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Speaker 1: terrible moments in our life where we don't have a choice.

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Speaker 2: Now we have.

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Speaker 1: This is real, This is a new reality, right. But

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Speaker 1: I feel like with a lot of you know, Rob,

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Speaker 1: if you or I do a gig, we're in front

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Speaker 1: of a group of people.

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Speaker 2: I do a lot of speaking.

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Speaker 1: And if I say to people, put up your hand

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Speaker 1: if you want to be fitter, lean, a lighter, stronger,

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Speaker 1: you know, more effective, more empowered, more resilient, all the

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Speaker 1: hands go up. So there's one thing to want that,

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Speaker 1: there's one thing to want change or want to be

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Speaker 1: a higher performer, whatever that means in sport or out

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Speaker 1: of sport. But then it's another thing to be willing

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Speaker 1: to step into the uncertainty, the unknown, the discomfort, the pain,

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Speaker 1: the fucking terror. Right, Like, we love the idea of

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Speaker 1: high performance and success and optimal health, but we don't,

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Speaker 1: like a lot of us, don't want to do the

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Speaker 1: work right.

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Speaker 3: M it is, man, And that's where I think You've

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Speaker 3: got to go through life knowing that you got one shot,

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Speaker 3: you know, I mean, you don't go around more than once, right,

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Speaker 3: So you have to seize the nectar and get after it.

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Speaker 3: Because that's I just basically like you know, and there's

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Speaker 3: there's opposite then too, right, But it's like you can't

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Speaker 3: go through life afraid because that just sucks, and that

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Speaker 3: means you're living on the sidelines of life, and nothing

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Speaker 3: good can happen in it. But that's where the critic lives, right,

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Speaker 3: they live up in the bleachers, not willing to sign

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Speaker 3: up for that race or whatever it is that scares you.

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Speaker 3: But that's where the fun stuff is. Man, That's why

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Speaker 3: I look at it. That's why I think man in

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Speaker 3: the arena is so powerful because the critic doesn't count.

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Speaker 3: It's that who is willing to go out there and

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Speaker 3: for the glory or the pain of defeat and knowing that,

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Speaker 3: hey man, that's just living. And that's why I always

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Speaker 3: look at and that's how I look at life too,

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Speaker 3: because it is so short and you have to seize

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Speaker 3: those moments. Man's that's all we got is that lifetime.

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Speaker 3: And that's where again it can go to the opposite

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Speaker 3: that way, right, you can say fuck it and just

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Speaker 3: you know, kill yourself, but like you have to be

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Speaker 3: willing to go for it. Man, that's where the real

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Speaker 3: success gets made.

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Speaker 2: Do you think that that drives that drive rob you know,

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Speaker 2: that willingness to do the work, That hunger, whatever, resilience,

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Speaker 2: you know, whatever we want to call it.

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Speaker 1: That is that inherent? Is that in built? Is that

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Speaker 1: in my dna? Is that genetic or is that something

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Speaker 1: that is maybe a byproduct of where I've been and

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Speaker 1: what I've seen and who I've been around.

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Speaker 3: I think it is caught more than it's taught. And

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Speaker 3: what I mean by that is that's where I spend

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Speaker 3: my life as trying to teach that. But I think

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Speaker 3: it's going through experiences in life that in the environment

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Speaker 3: that we are going to be and that has such

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Speaker 3: a huge factor to it. Right now, with that said,

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Speaker 3: the bottom line is is no matter your circumstance, no

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Speaker 3: matter what matters more is the vision. And what I

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Speaker 3: have seen is I have yet to meet anybody Craig. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that wasn't told. That's a bad idea. Don't try it.

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Speaker 3: You're not going to be successful. Forget it, man, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: not you. And so everybody who has been uber successful

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Speaker 3: in life, they were all had that moment. They all

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Speaker 3: had that And that's why I call them like lightning strikes,

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Speaker 3: because it's the most powerful force that is. It might

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Speaker 3: be somebody close to you, might have been that coach,

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Speaker 3: might have been that teacher, that teacher said, now you're

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Speaker 3: going end up just like your brother. Every one of

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Speaker 3: them who has reached that level of success was told that,

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Speaker 3: either by the circumstance or by somebody else. So why

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Speaker 3: is that that those moments helped propel them now at

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Speaker 3: the same time it has crushed many more people. Yes,

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Speaker 3: And so it's just that's the part where like, look,

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Speaker 3: these moments are going to have significant factors that and

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Speaker 3: repercussions and consequences. And it's our job again to be

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Speaker 3: in the moment to live life to its absolute fullest,

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Speaker 3: but it's our job to make sure that I think

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Speaker 3: those that are around us are equipped with those skills.

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Speaker 3: So knowing that those moments are going to happen, and

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Speaker 3: that's just how I look at them. Man, no one

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Speaker 3: who has ever been successful wasn't told that, you know.

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Speaker 3: And I think it goes beyond proving people wrong. I

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Speaker 3: think it's a fish or cut bait moment. And what

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Speaker 3: I mean by that is, you can't be on the

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Speaker 3: fence in life when you're told you're not going to

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Speaker 3: make it. You're either going to agree with that voice

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Speaker 3: that tells you you're not going to make it, or

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Speaker 3: you're going to agree with yourself. And that's then the

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Speaker 3: importance to about coaches, because usually when people are told

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Speaker 3: that they had just one person to come alongside them

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Speaker 3: and say, you don't need to listen to that coach man,

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Speaker 3: you can do this. Yeah, and it made all the

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Speaker 3: difference in their lives. And that's the part that I

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Speaker 3: knew to be true when it comes to that, you know,

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Speaker 3: nature nurture sort of thing. But I believe it's caught

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Speaker 3: more than it's tight. So I kind of hang on

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Speaker 3: that one.

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Speaker 1: When I was growing up, rob I was a not

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Speaker 1: a good academic, not a good athlete, not genetically gifted,

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Speaker 1: you know, captain mediocrity. And you know, for me to

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Speaker 1: be to me, to excel at anything just meant like

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Speaker 1: literally just doing probably more work than most people around me,

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Speaker 1: you know, because I didn't have great genetics all that stuff.

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Speaker 1: I was a morbidly obs kid. I was, I guess

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Speaker 1: the equivalent in pounds two hundred two and ten pounds

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Speaker 1: when I was fourteen, you know, all this stuff. And

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Speaker 1: I had a few hinge moments as you call them,

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Speaker 1: and and and out of one of those hinge moments,

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Speaker 1: you know, I just had this light bulb where essentially

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Speaker 1: I went, this is very simplified. But I don't want

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Speaker 1: to be like how I am. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be this way anymore. And I radically change my behavior,

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Speaker 1: which then in turn changed my thinking. I get it,

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Speaker 1: it's a two way kind of street. But I got

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Speaker 1: in shape, I got fit, I got relatively strong and healthy.

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Speaker 1: And for somebody without great genetics, I kind of tried

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Speaker 1: to figure out somewhat how to optimize them. But for me,

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Speaker 1: changing my body was great. But what it really opened

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Speaker 1: the door on for me was understanding my own potential

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Speaker 1: for not for greatness, but my version of greatness.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know, my nine out of ten, what's

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Speaker 1: nine out of ten for me might be a four

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Speaker 1: for you because maybe you're more gifted, right, But I

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Speaker 1: think there's that like going through that. For me, I

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Speaker 1: lost the equivalent of about seventy pounds and got to

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Speaker 1: a weight that was about the right weight for my

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Speaker 1: then size and age and all of that, you know.

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Speaker 1: But and the weight loss was cool, and the fitness

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Speaker 1: was great, and the transformation was great, but it was

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Speaker 1: really the like the mental, emotional and social ramifications that

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Speaker 1: like I went, oh, fuck, if I can do this,

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Speaker 1: what else can I do? I think it's that that,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's almost like that that that shift in

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Speaker 1: mindset is really just a byproduct of stepping into doing

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Speaker 1: hard shits.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes, absolutely, man, And that's the best part of it, right,

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Speaker 3: stepping into the next That's what I love. I love that, man.

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Speaker 3: I mean that fires me up because I think it's

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Speaker 3: it's so true, it's been that becomes like the most

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Speaker 3: important mental skill is just the confidence and belief. And

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Speaker 3: oh man, now I do have a vision. Yes, it's powerful, man,

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Speaker 3: really powerful. That's why I think confidence belief it's the

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Speaker 3: most important metal skill.

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Speaker 1: And I guess like for me, I didn't set out

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Speaker 1: to do that. I just set out to not look

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Speaker 1: as terrible as I looked like. I was just an

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Speaker 1: auto in year old, fat, insecure kid who didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be socially invisible, right. I just wanted some girl

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Speaker 1: to go, well, he's not hideous. That would have been

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Speaker 1: a good yeah, you know, I wanted to be not

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Speaker 1: picked last for a team. Like these were not lofty goals, right.

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Speaker 1: But but it's in the doing of that where you know,

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Speaker 1: you go, ah, it's like I started to pull back

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Speaker 1: a curtain on my self awareness and self understanding, you know,

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Speaker 1: where I didn't obviously articulate it.

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Speaker 2: Like that when I was fourteen.

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Speaker 1: But you know, getting in shape was good, But what

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Speaker 1: was more exciting and more empowering was starting to have

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Speaker 1: a window into my own potential, you know, And I

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Speaker 1: think helping people like I love helping people open the door,

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Speaker 1: pull back the curtain, whatever metaphor we want to use,

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Speaker 1: but on their own potential, power and possibilities.

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Speaker 3: You know, I mean, how can I add to that? Brother?

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Speaker 3: I just want to listen to you share the story. Man,

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Speaker 3: that's good. I mean, it's when here's here's what I

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Speaker 3: look at it though. Here's what I look at it

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Speaker 3: is like the difference that you make now in p

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Speaker 3: was lives Craigs, knowing like where you were then and

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Speaker 3: how many people that you have helped throughout life. Like,

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Speaker 3: that's the real power of it, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: If you didn't make that decision, man, do you know

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Speaker 3: how many people's lives would be different today? Yeah, because

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Speaker 3: now you said, well, you know, hey, I guess this

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Speaker 3: is how it is. No, Man, you made that choice

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Speaker 3: and you impacted how many thousands of lives because of

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Speaker 3: when they go home and they reckon you know, realize, man,

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Speaker 3: they still had your voice in their head when they

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Speaker 3: went home.

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Speaker 2: That night.

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Speaker 3: Yeah your voice saying yeah, you are awesome. Man.

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Speaker 1: It's funny like with people that thank you. I appreciate

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Speaker 1: that the people that I work with. So a bit

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Speaker 1: more backstory for you. So I set up the first

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Speaker 1: personal training censor in Australia. So in nineteen ninety personal

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Speaker 1: training was an industry. There was there was no course,

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Speaker 1: there was no qualification, there was no insurance, there was

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Speaker 1: no regulation. I started doing in maybe eighty five eighty

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Speaker 1: six in commercial gyms and then set up my own

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Speaker 1: center when I was twenty six and I had no

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Speaker 1: fucking idea what I was doing. But another one of

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Speaker 1: those hinge moments where you go shit, Like I knew

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Speaker 1: that I didn't want to have a boss a job.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to work, but I didn't want a job

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Speaker 1: right and I'm like, well, how the fuck can I

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Speaker 1: work for me? Make money?

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Speaker 2: Do shit?

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Speaker 1: I'm passionate about connect with human being, keep my own

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Speaker 1: evolution happening, but not show up every day for a

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Speaker 1: job which didn't appeal to me. But you know what

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Speaker 1: was like the biggest I'll shut up after this because

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Speaker 1: this is not about me, this podcast. I apologize, But

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Speaker 1: what was the biggest learning curve. For me, rob was

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Speaker 1: like being in front of all of these humans like

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Speaker 1: you think about as a trainer or a coach or

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Speaker 1: a mental like everyone that you work with wants to

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Speaker 1: be better, Like nobody comes to you because they want

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Speaker 1: to stay how they are now better shows up as

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Speaker 1: a lot of different things physically, mentally, emotionally, skill you know, strength, power, speed,

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Speaker 1: fucking whatever, you know, resilience, And it's like for me,

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Speaker 1: that was the classroom, you know, more than university for

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Speaker 1: me being in front of all those different humans with

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Speaker 1: different drivers and different personalities and different pain thresholds and

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Speaker 1: different perceptions and different stories. You know, what about for

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Speaker 1: you like that experience? I know you worked with a

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Speaker 1: lot of athletes. What came out of that for you?

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Speaker 3: Same thing?

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Speaker 1: Man?

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Speaker 3: I mean I always say everyone that we meet we

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Speaker 3: can learn something from. And everyone on this earth one

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Speaker 3: way or another is you know, when the student's ready

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Speaker 3: to teacher will appear. Right. We're all doctors and we're

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Speaker 3: all and we're all patients. Yeah, you know, it's just

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Speaker 3: like who were interact with. But we I always learn

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Speaker 3: more from those that I interact with and that I

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Speaker 3: help then I think they do from me. From my standpoint,

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Speaker 3: you know, whether whether it's a know how they approach something,

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Speaker 3: especially working like with the really elite ones, they all

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Speaker 3: just have something that's a little bit different, and it's

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Speaker 3: like looking deep into that and saying, what what is

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Speaker 3: it that you have that's untouchable? Right, It's like if

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Speaker 3: you were to go deep in their soul, there's like

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Speaker 3: this lamp or something right with like you just can't

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Speaker 3: touch it. Like everyone I just think, like just has that.

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Speaker 3: Hopefully that metaaforre made sense. I'm trying to think of

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Speaker 3: like a laddiner, right, it was like yeah, so, you know,

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Speaker 3: And whether that is just somebody's ultimate belief in themselves,

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Speaker 3: whether it's their ability to outwork somebody else, whether it

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Speaker 3: is their ability to focus under pressure and want to

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Speaker 3: be in those situations, whether it's somebody's uh skill of

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Speaker 3: letting god mistakes and moving on, whether it's somebody's ability

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Speaker 3: to just see a painting, you know, and to be

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Speaker 3: able to go and do it. You know, if if

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Speaker 3: it's somebody to be able to connect with somebody else,

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Speaker 3: everyone has that, I totally believe it, you know, And

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Speaker 3: I've just been blessed enough to work with so many

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Speaker 3: and just try and discover what is their their essence

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Speaker 3: and how are they able to go about it? And

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Speaker 3: that's the key is you just got to be working

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Speaker 3: on then your strength all the time. And I think

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Speaker 3: that's what the the purpose is man, and then you

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Speaker 3: take that strength and how is it going to be

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Speaker 3: able to help others? Because that's where the real joy is.

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Speaker 3: That's that's why I look at them, and the real

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Speaker 3: joy is from helping others reach their goal. It's like

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Speaker 3: you you reach yours whatever it is, that's a mountaintop moment.

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Speaker 3: You're going to come back that off that mountaintop and

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Speaker 3: it's like, okay, well we're what now what's next? No

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Speaker 3: matter what it is, right, million dollars, man, Olympic gold metal,

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Speaker 3: it's and it's always getting back to men. It's then

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Speaker 3: how do I use this to be able to help

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Speaker 3: somebody else? That's where the real joy comes from.

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Speaker 2: Tell me about the dynamic rub between, Like when you're working.

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Speaker 1: With somebody and you want to help them, among other things,

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Speaker 1: build you know, resilience and mental toughness and adaptability and

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Speaker 1: flexibility and all that fucking awesome stuff to be able

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Speaker 1: to perform on the pressure.

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Speaker 2: But at the same time, you don't want to be

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Speaker 2: a prick.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to do you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, we want to be understanding and where

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Speaker 1: and compassionate and empathetic, but also get the fuck up

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Speaker 1: and stop being a pussy. Like what's that juxtaposition? Like

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Speaker 1: how do you how do you navigate that? I?

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Speaker 3: Sometimes I do it, well, sometimes I don't because you

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Speaker 3: have to kind of coach like that. But yeah, it's

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Speaker 3: not my natural style. I don't like always doing that right.

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Speaker 3: I might because I don't want it more than them,

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Speaker 3: because I would get wrapped up in it. Man, you know,

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Speaker 3: I mean if it's so, I look at it in

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Speaker 3: terms of you have to know that what we're going

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Speaker 3: to build first is based on love. That is based

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Speaker 3: on love and the same thing we are working together

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Speaker 3: to get you better. Well, that's not always comfortable, and

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Speaker 3: there's going to be I always tell them, like, look,

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Speaker 3: there is no growth without al Like there's going to

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Speaker 3: be tough conversations that will be difficult. You have to

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Speaker 3: be want to go down this journey with me If

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to be the right person, and by

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Speaker 3: all means, we take a poison pill together and separate,

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Speaker 3: right will we kind of set that up beforehand because it's, uh,

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Speaker 3: there's a lot of moving parts. Yeah, and you have

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Speaker 3: to be willing to look at all the details. The

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Speaker 3: details is what becomes really important. You know, who you

404
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Speaker 3: surrounding yourself with?

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Speaker 4: Man?

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Speaker 3: What are you feeding your mind? You know? Where are

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Speaker 3: these little demons that you have kind of hidden that

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Speaker 3: you don't want to admit, you know, wan anybody else

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Speaker 3: to look at? You got to go there because at

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Speaker 3: some point they're going to show up, and you don't

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Speaker 3: want them showing up when it's the most important time.

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Speaker 3: So that's that's the part of and then kind of

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Speaker 3: like you know, into the weeds part about coaching. A

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Speaker 3: lot of times it's just throwing lobs out there in

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Speaker 3: terms of telling them somewhere or another there I don't know,

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Speaker 3: may be a little difficult for you, It might be

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Speaker 3: too difficult, It might be tough. You know, what do

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Speaker 3: they do?

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Speaker 1: Then?

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Speaker 3: All right, I'll show you, Yeah, watch me. And then

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Speaker 3: as long as that, as long as that love is base, man,

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Speaker 3: then I think people always want to be coached hard.

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Speaker 1: And I think also sometimes love doesn't feel very loving, right,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's that.

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Speaker 2: Well said, I tell come up with that one, Nah, dude.

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Speaker 1: I tell my clients all the time like I used to,

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Speaker 1: even with my personal training days back, not with a

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Speaker 1: lad athletes, not with you know, high performers, just general public.

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Speaker 1: I would say to my clients, if you want someone

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Speaker 1: to hold your hand and tell you you're amazing every four

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Speaker 1: minutes and rub your back and sing komba, I'm not

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Speaker 1: the dude, right, I go. But if you want someone

433
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 1: who genuinely wants to help you, explore your potential, power, possibilities,

434
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 1: support you, care about you. But I'm more interested in

435
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:03,679
Speaker 1: your long term potential and growth and development than I

436
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 1: am in making you feel good for the next three minutes.

437
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,879
Speaker 2: And you know that's it.

438
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,719
Speaker 1: It's at the same time, of course, I don't want

439
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 1: to crush people, but you know, people can't build mental

440
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:21,200
Speaker 1: toughness and resilience without doing fucking hard things like it doesn't.

441
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 3: Work right, you know, and with you man, loving doesn't

442
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 3: always appear like loving.

443
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 1: Loving doesn't always feel like love, doesn't always feel loving,

444
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 1: you know. So for me, if I'm like sometimes if

445
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 1: I'm loving someone, that's not the experience they're having, but

446
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:46,360
Speaker 1: nonetheless it's coming from a platform of love, from an

447
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:51,719
Speaker 1: intention of love. And the thing is that sometimes, you know,

448
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: even with audiences robs, sometimes I say to them, like,

449
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 1: even if it's a couple of hundred people, I will say,

450
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 1: I can tell you what you want to hear or

451
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 1: what you need to hear, what would you prefer because

452
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 1: I can make this kumbay are comfortable and you all

453
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 1: feel awesome, or we can, as you say, get into

454
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 1: the weeds, open a few doors and be self aware

455
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 1: and you know, not self loathing, just self aware.

456
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:22,399
Speaker 2: And mostly they reluctantly say all right, you know, and

457
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 2: I go.

458
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,919
Speaker 1: And the reason that like, I'm not interested in turning

459
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: up for a one hour keynote or a half day

460
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 1: workshop and boosting my popularity hopefully they like it. But

461
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,679
Speaker 1: I'm actually interested in creating an experience with a group

462
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: an individual or a group corporate, sporting whatever that is

463
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: a catalyst for something powerful for them. And I go,

464
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not the answer. I'm not the solution.

465
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: I'm just a bloke sharing thoughts and ideas and strategies.

466
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: You're the answer that you're the solution, you know. And

467
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of coaches, and especially in

468
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 1: the fucking personal development self help space, Rob who put

469
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 1: themselves up as the solution.

470
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 2: I fucking hate that so much. It so much.

471
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 3: Well, because they're building I mean, what they're building is

472
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 3: they're building dependency, you know, and they're not building capacity.

473
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 3: We want to build capacity. And it's the same thing, man,

474
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,159
Speaker 3: I teld like, it's just the exact same thing. Man,

475
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,879
Speaker 3: I told my kids, you know what I mean, Like,

476
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 3: I don't want you on the side of the road

477
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 3: having no idea how to change his tire. I haven't

478
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 3: done my job. My job is to teach you this. Well,

479
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,719
Speaker 3: it's going to be painful going through this and one

480
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 3: d per man. I can't stand that too. I don't

481
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,679
Speaker 3: know why it bothers me so much, man, because like

482
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 3: coaches are going to put themselves out in front when

483
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 3: it's like no, you know, if they want to give

484
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 3: you credit as part of that, man, that's totally on

485
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 3: them to do it. But it's not you, man, And

486
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 3: I tell them that all the time. Man, you never

487
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 3: hit a shot, right because well we can keep going

488
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 3: on that stuff, man, but I'm tellingly you worth you. Yeah,

489
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 3: I don't want to get you on my podcast, man,

490
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 3: Can I get you on my play hours.

491
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, but I think, thank you. I love that.

492
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 2: But I mean the thing is too like if.

493
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 1: I'm making it about me, well then I'm making it

494
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 1: about me and my ego, and it's like without me

495
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: or nothing, and it's all fucking self serving bullshit, right.

496
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 1: It's like, all I am is a resource. That's it

497
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 1: for the people, the teams you're going to. I'm a resource,

498
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 1: right that. And I might be valuable or not on

499
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 1: the day, I might be on fire, you know whatever, but.

500
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 2: Ultimately what matters.

501
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: It's like we're fifteen one hundred and fifteen, at fifteen

502
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: and fifty eight or something episodes into the You Project,

503
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,400
Speaker 1: six years, over a thousand incredible guests.

504
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 2: You're one of them.

505
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, it's just two

506
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 1: blokes on a podcast talking, right. The value for the

507
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 1: listener is what they might then do as a result

508
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: of a strategy, an idea, a piece of information, a

509
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: story that resonates. So I love my listeners and I

510
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 1: love them listening, but what I really fucking love is

511
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,120
Speaker 1: when I get an email from someone who says I

512
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 1: heard Rob Bell say this, and I went and did that,

513
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 1: and this is my outcome, and then they might say,

514
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 1: you're at your podcast changed my life and I write

515
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: back and go, no, it didn't. I haven't changed any lives.

516
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 1: I've influenced a few people, but the only life I

517
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 1: can change is mine. And by the way, thousands of

518
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: people listen to that episode, but you're the only one

519
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:38,040
Speaker 1: who did that, so it's all you well done. Yeah,

520
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: you know, And as you said, the moment that we

521
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:47,199
Speaker 1: start to create, you know, this culture or this idea

522
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: of oh wow, without me, you wouldn't get there, then

523
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 1: you know we're building an addiction, which is we're building

524
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: something destructive and unhealthy, you know, in a dependency. Like

525
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: I used to say to my client, so this is

526
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: a bad business move, but all of my clients, I'd say,

527
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 1: I want to teach you, train you, prepare you to

528
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 1: be able to do everything that you need to do

529
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 1: to be self sustaining, to optimize your body, nutrition, sleep, lifestyle, physiology,

530
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and then fuck you off. Right. I

531
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 1: don't want you to you know, I love you, but

532
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 1: I don't want you dependent on me, because then I've

533
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: just created another problem that you don't need. And ironically,

534
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 1: most trainers won't do that because they wanted people keep

535
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 1: people on the hook forever. But it's actually and I

536
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,439
Speaker 1: didn't do that strategically, but it's in the doing of

537
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 1: that where you become more sought after because people know that, oh,

538
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:51,120
Speaker 1: I'm not just a pay packet for him. He'd eat

539
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: like he really wants a bit of off. He really

540
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: wants me to get good, and then he wants me

541
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: to continue the journey by myself.

542
00:27:59,040 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 2: And I'm like, yes, so.

543
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, man. I tell them my athletes, I'm gonna

544
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 3: work myself out of a job.

545
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:07,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

546
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 3: My insurance agent doesn't call me up saying, hey man,

547
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 3: we were still good. Like that never happens, you know.

548
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 3: I mean, it's like, so I tell them, like the

549
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 3: same exact thing. Brother. It's like, I'm just a guide. Right,

550
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 3: You're the You're the hero hero of the story, because

551
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 3: you have to be the hero, right, You've got to

552
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 3: be the main character.

553
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 4: Man.

554
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm certainly not the hero. And the reason

555
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 3: why two minutes because I love people and I want

556
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 3: them to be successful and then to be able to,

557
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 3: you know, just keep supporting them from the sidelines and

558
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 3: if they need me back in to help, then hey, man,

559
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 3: I'm there for you. But I'm a big believer though

560
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 3: then that I believe that there is a God and

561
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 3: I'm not it. M Yeah, come dependent on somebody else

562
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 3: on that. Like you said, man, it becomes a different problem.

563
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe you're a conduit to that God, Rob.

564
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 2: Maybe, let's hope, dude.

565
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 1: So tell me about a hinge moment in the life

566
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: of Rob Bell, something that's uh was transformational, that's going

567
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 1: to resonate with us.

568
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 3: Oh man, I've had several hinge moments, and I'll share

569
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 3: this one so well, I know what's like, which one

570
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 3: do you want? And do you want like the tragedy one,

571
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 3: do you want sort of the comedy? Do you want

572
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 3: the professional one? Or do you want the one where

573
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 3: if it's like that was really wild how this kind

574
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 3: of all came to be.

575
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 2: Let's do that, dude. We've got half an hour.

576
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 1: Bro, you just go wherever you want.

577
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 3: I've been Okay, right, here we go, So I don't

578
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 3: I don't share this one. I don't share this one

579
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 3: a lot, but I still find this one to be

580
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 3: very impactful. I'll try and synthesize as much I can,

581
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 3: and you can tell I've told this story before so

582
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 3: my grandmother for every Christmas, she gets me Reader's Digest magazine.

583
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 3: As a teenager, that was our old gift to me.

584
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 3: Now Readers Digest magazine here in the States, Like it's

585
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 3: just a bunch of stories, you know, and it's like, okay,

586
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 3: So I would read these, you know, my own the

587
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 3: toilet sometimes and hey, thanks grandma. One would come every month.

588
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: You know.

589
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 3: It's like, okay, I could have used cash, but this

590
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 3: is great. And I came across this story again, I'm

591
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 3: fourteen years old. It came across this story about runners

592
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 3: that would go on these long runs and have these

593
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 3: euphoric sensations and how they would that's why they would

594
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 3: like run all these long distances, you know, and I

595
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 3: was like, wow, that's pretty cool. Fourteen years old kind

596
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 3: of forget about it. I get into you know, high school,

597
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 3: and then I'm in college and I'm going down to

598
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 3: sports psycher out right, like I'm all in on this.

599
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 3: And I'm a senior now in college, twenty three years old.

600
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 3: And the professor in that class says, those that are

601
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 3: psychology majors, you have to do you have to replicate

602
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 3: a research study, something that has been done in the past,

603
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 3: and you're going to present on it. That's going to

604
00:30:56,760 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 3: help you for you know whatever, going to grad school.

605
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 3: When she said that, an image popped in my mind.

606
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 3: And that image in my mind was that those runners

607
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 3: from the Readers Digest magazine, right, those runners everyone in

608
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 3: the sensation. I'm going to go find that, you know,

609
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 3: and do that. And so I go and I kind

610
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 3: of I don't exactly find that story, but I find

611
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 3: it whatever's close enough to it, right, you know, And

612
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 3: these runners go in these long runs, have you four sensations?

613
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 3: And why they would keep running? And uh? And then

614
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 3: I presented it at a conference and graduate. You know.

615
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 3: It's fine. So now I know what I want to

616
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 3: do with my life, and that's going to grad school.

617
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 3: So I need to. I apply to master's schools. And

618
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 3: I moved out to Colorado because I wanted that year

619
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 3: off right. I was a ski bomb. I skied ninety

620
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 3: seven days that year in Crest Debute, and I was

621
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 3: applying and applied to grad school, so I knew exactly

622
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 3: where I wanted to go. And I applied to Temple University.

623
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 3: And the reason why I applied to Temple University was simply, uh, hey,

624
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 3: it was one of the schools, you know. So I'm like,

625
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 3: I have the phone interview with the professor and he

626
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 3: keeps asking me about the study man, you know, and

627
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, I'm like, in my ignorance at

628
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 3: the time, I didn't even know who I was talking to.

629
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 3: And then what I do is then I go after

630
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 3: this phone interview because it keeps drilling me about the study,

631
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 3: you know, And I was like, well, you know, yeah,

632
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 3: and I did this and it was great, you know.

633
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 2: And it's like.

634
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 3: And I go and I check up who it was

635
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 3: and I'm talking to and the person I'm talking to

636
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 3: whose name is Michael Sachs. And he was the one

637
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 3: who coined the phrase runners high.

638
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 1: Wow.

639
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 3: So the study that I looked at and how they

640
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 3: had these U four sensations, what runners high was all about.

641
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 3: He was the one who did that story. Now, I

642
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 3: was a fringe candidate at best, and I got an

643
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 3: assistant ship. I got into Temple University. And the only

644
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 3: reason why I got into Temple University is my grandmother

645
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 3: would get me readers, digest magazines. If she never gets

646
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 3: me magaz things, I guarantee you I never come across that.

647
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 3: I don't get into grad school, don't meet my wife,

648
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 3: don't go on to Diversity Tennessee, and my story and

649
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 3: path would have been different. But because she did, and

650
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 3: because I had that story, man, so a reader Digest

651
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 3: magazine became a hinge moment, and that's how small hinges

652
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 3: can swing big doors.

653
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: Wow, dude, that's such a good story.

654
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 2: That's like that do man?

655
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 1: Yeah?

656
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 2: I love it. That's amazing, all right. So let's.

657
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 3: I don't tell that one a lot, you know what

658
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 3: I mean?

659
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 2: No, I love that. I love that, And it's just

660
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 2: it's so true. It's so true that.

661
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 1: The you know, sliding door moments, whatever hinge moments, it's

662
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: tell us about your definition of mental toughness. Not not

663
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 1: necessarily what the you know, the field says, but what

664
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 1: is it for you when you try to explain it

665
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,719
Speaker 1: to a not try, but when you explain it, what

666
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: is it?

667
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 2: What does it look like? How does it? How does

668
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 2: it work?

669
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, academics need to come up with their own definitions

670
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 3: because they need to publish. So it's like, well, let

671
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 3: me just come to this own definition of mental toughness.

672
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 3: So there's tons out there, but I'm in a jeans

673
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,720
Speaker 3: and t shirt kind of guy. Right, Let's keep this simple.

674
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 3: Mental toughness is how we deal handle and cope with

675
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 3: the adversity, the struggle and the setbacks in life. That's

676
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 3: all it is. It's not a matter of if. It's

677
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:22,840
Speaker 3: just a matter of when and what it's going to

678
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 3: look like now, depending on what our field is. Right.

679
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 3: But mental toughness, oftentimes you know it's not going to

680
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 3: win us anything, but if we don't have it, it

681
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 3: will lose it for us. Yeah, And that's how I

682
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 3: define it. And the other part that you can look

683
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 3: at mental toughness is how you perform well under pressure.

684
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:44,800
Speaker 3: That is the other part of it as well. And

685
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 3: if you're in it, then you will face pressure and

686
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 3: it's how you deal with that. That's how I define it.

687
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: Maybe, Yeah, thank you. It's interesting. We talk about black

688
00:34:56,040 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 1: a lot in sport. Obviously a hot performance. But I

689
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: do a fair bit of work over here with victor

690
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 1: I live in the state of Victoria, so Victoria Police.

691
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 2: I do some work with them and a bunch of

692
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 2: other organizations.

693
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: But so I talk regularly about the idea of high performance,

694
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 1: and I have to clarify and I go so when

695
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 1: I'm talking about high performance. I'm for this conversation. I'm

696
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 1: not talking about Olympic gold. I'm not talking about curing cancer,

697
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:29,279
Speaker 1: Nobel prizes, joining the Space program. I'm talking about your

698
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: ability to get the most out of you, Like what

699
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: is your potential on? How close to that are you? Like?

700
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 1: What are you? And I always tell the story about

701
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: my mum. Who's My mumm is eighty four. She weighs

702
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 1: about one hundred pounds. She's five one on a good day.

703
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 1: She's had cancer three times, she was meant to die

704
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:51,360
Speaker 1: multiple times. She's had a heart attack, she had.

705
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 2: Half a lung removed.

706
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 1: And I spoke to her about an hour ago and

707
00:35:55,400 --> 00:36:00,120
Speaker 1: she's the most upbeat, positive, Like she was going through chemo.

708
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,919
Speaker 1: She had five months of chemo therapy. She went down

709
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: to thirty eight kilos, which is about eighty pounds. She

710
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 1: had blood noses every day, she couldn't taste, she lost

711
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 1: most of her hair. And I would ring her and

712
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 1: she would ask me if I'm eating enough? Because you know,

713
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: when I saw you last weekend, you look gaunt. I'm like,

714
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: you weigh eighty pounds. My leg weighs eighty pounds, and

715
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,400
Speaker 1: you know, like in the middle of all of her shit.

716
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:37,359
Speaker 1: You know, in the middle of absolute physical, mental, emotional chaos,

717
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: she was worried about me and she wasn't complaining, you know.

718
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: So for me, that's high performance, that's resilience, that's adaptability,

719
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 1: that's optimal mindset. Doesn't mean she never has a bad day,

720
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:55,240
Speaker 1: but you know, so for me, that idea of helping

721
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: people just move towards whatever their version of high performance

722
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 1: looks like.

723
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,399
Speaker 3: You know, you know, I always look at this too,

724
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 3: because it's uh, you know, in the book like a

725
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 3: man search for meeting Victor Frankel, right, like we get

726
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 3: meaning from our suffering. So whatever like you're going through,

727
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 3: you have to find meaning in that suffering because that

728
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 3: is where you're given a different perspective. And I look

729
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 3: at like perspective and gratitude as like the superpowers, you know,

730
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 3: if you can have those, the perspective of man just

731
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 3: really because all maybe just take things for granted, right,

732
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:35,399
Speaker 3: it's just how we are.

733
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 1: Man.

734
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 3: It's like when you can but when you can take

735
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 3: that cup of coffee as the best cup of coffee

736
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:42,360
Speaker 3: in the world and like really mean it, like you

737
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 3: don't need to, yeah, And then that's gratitude and perspective,

738
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 3: and I think, like it's going through really really difficult

739
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 3: things like that and near death experiences, when the essence

740
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,720
Speaker 3: of life just comes out and it's everything simple.

741
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 2: For sometimes I think I live.

742
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 1: Where I'm at right now is upstairs at my house

743
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 1: in my office and straight downstairs kitchen lounge, all that shit, right,

744
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 1: But sometimes this is weird. But sometimes I'm walking at night.

745
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 1: I walk up the stairs and I've got like a

746
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: drink in one hand, I've got a near thing and

747
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 1: I'm talking. I'm having a conversation with someone. I've got

748
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:21,240
Speaker 1: my dinner on the other hand. I'm walking up the stairs,

749
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 1: I'm twisting around the thing, I'm doing all this shit,

750
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: and I just have this moment, how fucking amazing is

751
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 1: my body? Like?

752
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:30,320
Speaker 2: How good?

753
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 1: This is funny rob But I'm like, especially after I

754
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 1: spend time with my friend Joel, who's a quad, I'm like,

755
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 1: how good is walking? I can stand up out of

756
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 1: this chair. I've got five or six friends who can't

757
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:46,479
Speaker 1: do that. They can't they can't push back the chair

758
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,839
Speaker 1: like I am right now and stand up and walk

759
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: to the door. They can't do it. But if all

760
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 1: of a sudden perish the thought, you know, you or

761
00:38:55,760 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: I with that or me anyway, you know, like all

762
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 1: all you would want, you would give everything. You have

763
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: to be able to push the chair back, stand up

764
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 1: and walk to the door. Right, But we can do it.

765
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 1: We can turn on a tap, there's hot water, we

766
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: can push a button, there's cool air. I can walk

767
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: out and get in my car, drive to the gym

768
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,800
Speaker 1: with two million dollars worth of equipment for ten bucks

769
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: a day and a week. And you know, like my

770
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 1: life is so fucking privileged that I have to keep

771
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 1: doing a stock take otherwise I forget, you.

772
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:32,799
Speaker 3: Know, yeah, absolutely, man, I remember, like and I try

773
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:34,799
Speaker 3: to remind myself of that one all the time, Like

774
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 3: when I go down and fill up my water bottle

775
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 3: in the morning with ice, the ice is what does

776
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 3: it for me? Because I just remind myself as there

777
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 3: are people in this world that don't have ice. Man, Yeah,

778
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 3: look at this ice. Look how awesome this is. And

779
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 3: I'm the same thing man, when I'm like, you know,

780
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 3: even stuff are like with some injuries and stuff like that.

781
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 3: And I heard this one absolutely, But it's like, when

782
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 3: you are healthy, you have thousands of wishes a day.

783
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 3: What do you want you're healthy when you're unhealthy. You

784
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:10,240
Speaker 3: got one wish?

785
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, so true, so true.

786
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: Dude, Hey, I want to talk to you a little

787
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 1: bit about have you got another ten or fifteen minutes?

788
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 3: Rob, Yeah, man, let's do it.

789
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,280
Speaker 2: I want to talk to you a little bit about

790
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 2: I'm fired.

791
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 3: I'm fired up, by the way, manly.

792
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 2: I'm yeah, I'm good.

793
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes I forget, well I don't really, but

794
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 1: I almost forget I'm on a podcast, especially when I

795
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I like most people, but when I connect

796
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 1: with someone that I really like and I respect and

797
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: I'm vibing with.

798
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 2: So I want to talk to you a bit.

799
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:45,959
Speaker 5: About, you know, the idea of you know, doing better,

800
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 5: thinking better, building habits, behaviors, living in alignment with our values, goals,

801
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 5: all that fucking self help stuff, which is all true.

802
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: But there's the idea and then there's the messy, uncomfortable,

803
00:40:56,200 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 1: practical journey, right, And I think what often gets in

804
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,760
Speaker 1: the way for many people is, you know, self doubt,

805
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:07,839
Speaker 1: self loathing, fear, self limiting beliefs, all of that. And

806
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: that's not rare, that's common. And even me, I have

807
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: my own bullshit. I overthink some things. I still have

808
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome. Even though I've done some good stuff, I

809
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: still have self doubt. I still you know, all that bullshit, right,

810
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 1: but I learned to coexist with it and turn the

811
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: volume down on it.

812
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:24,799
Speaker 3: Right.

813
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 1: So people who are listening to this and going, yeah,

814
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 1: that's all right, YouTube buffheads, but you know, I'm fucking

815
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 1: riddled with fear or I think I'm shit, or you know,

816
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: I have so much self doubt.

817
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 4: And any ideas around overcoming, not eliminating or eradicating, but

818
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 4: turning down the volume on that stuff that's self limiting,

819
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 4: you know, in a chaos.

820
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:55,279
Speaker 3: Rob I believe that we can act or way into

821
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:58,320
Speaker 3: rate thinking easier than trying to think your way in

822
00:41:58,360 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 3: a rate of acting.

823
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 1: Oh. I love that.

824
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 3: And the reason why I've always loved on that is

825
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 3: because it's you know, just take the first step, man,

826
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 3: Just sign up for the race. Man, you sign up

827
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,439
Speaker 3: for the race. What's the hardest thing about doing the race?

828
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 3: Signing up for the race. Once you sign up for

829
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 3: the race, and I just use this as an example

830
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 3: because it's an easy one. It's slow hanging fruit. But

831
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,280
Speaker 3: you sign up for the race, your attitude and outlook

832
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,759
Speaker 3: changes immediately. Yeah, because now you have that goal and

833
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 3: now you have the vision and the little thing. So

834
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 3: I always say, like, you know, you act your way

835
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 3: into right thinking, and then you just got to start

836
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 3: with one thing. I think too often we kind of

837
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 3: go down this path of picking two three things that

838
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 3: we really want to get better, and well, if three

839
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 3: are good, why not just pick four. It doesn't work

840
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 3: like that. You just got to pick one area and

841
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:55,840
Speaker 3: just master that. Just master that, and then what happens

842
00:42:55,920 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 3: is other things start to line up. So let's just say,

843
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,319
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna cut out ice cream, like, no more

844
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:08,359
Speaker 3: desserts or whatever, no more, I'm just gonna cut that out. Yeah, yeah,

845
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 3: And and then you don't have to cut that out

846
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 3: and then sugar and stuff like that out of the

847
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:19,399
Speaker 3: whole day. You're just cutting out the desserts. Man. And

848
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 3: then you do that, you give yourself a confidence because

849
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 3: you are going to achieve it. You give yourself the confidence.

850
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 3: You're going to give yourself that focus, that determination, and

851
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:35,839
Speaker 3: then other things are gonna line up. It's just how

852
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 3: it happens, right, Because if you're giving this up, why

853
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 3: not just have a little more water throughout the day? Right? Well,

854
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 3: want to just go for that one more walk or

855
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 3: something like that. And it doesn't have to be like

856
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 3: the goal. The goal is the no dessert, but the

857
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 3: other things line up. And now, the one part that

858
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 3: is so important about that journey is no matter what

859
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,280
Speaker 3: journey you're going to be going on towards betterment, improvement, man,

860
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:02,239
Speaker 3: there are going to be set. You've got to understand that.

861
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 3: So the fact that you cut out dessert doesn't mean hey,

862
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 3: there might not there might be a slip a couple

863
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 3: weeks down the road. Yeah, and you know what, so

864
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,959
Speaker 3: fucking what? Yeah, But what happens is is we eat

865
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 3: the dessert and then we say, all the thoughts start

866
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 3: coming back. And that's where the real demon lies, not

867
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 3: the fact they eat dessert. You just discounted these last

868
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:29,880
Speaker 3: two weeks that you've done, and now every failure that

869
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 3: you've had, like in the past, comes back and it

870
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:34,879
Speaker 3: starts telling you, look, see, I told you couldn't do it. Man,

871
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 3: why do you even try setting that goal to begin with?

872
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 3: When you have to understand, Look, it was just one dessert, man,

873
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 3: get back on it. That becomes then the real importance.

874
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 3: And that's where I think the real mental toughness and

875
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:50,239
Speaker 3: real resiliency and strength comes into place. After you have that.

876
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,319
Speaker 3: You don't have to say screw it, I blew it.

877
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,480
Speaker 3: You just say, you know what, Yeah, I messed up, man.

878
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 3: And that's the difference between a lapse and and a collapse.

879
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 3: Different between a relapse and a collapse is that, man,

880
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 3: is how your attitude and outlook remains.

881
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 1: You know.

882
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 3: They looked at addicts, man, Addicts that have fallen off

883
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 3: the wagon. They had to drink and they they ended

884
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,319
Speaker 3: up gotting sober as opposed to those that didn't. And

885
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 3: you know what, the big thing underneath it was those

886
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 3: that had to drink but still end up getting sober

887
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 3: know that that wasn't them and that wasn't their identity.

888
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 3: That they still believe that they could be successful. Those

889
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 3: that didn't it became a collapse, man, because they thought, man,

890
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 3: that was their identity. Man, everything was in that, you know,

891
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 3: and look, I couldn't do it. And then that's man,

892
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 3: where there's a lot of deep layers to that one.

893
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 3: But that's the part is like you're going to mess up,

894
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,480
Speaker 3: you still just have to keep on going. That's the

895
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 3: big thing, man, Because flat tire on your way to

896
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 3: Sydney doesn't mean you got to turn all the way

897
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 3: back around and go back to Melbourne. You just change

898
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 3: the tire and you keep going.

899
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 2: You know, look at you.

900
00:45:55,960 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 1: Chucking in the fucking the Aussie references beautiful OSI podcast.

901
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 3: What was that? What was that race from Melbourne to Sydney?

902
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, so there.

903
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know that they'd do it so much anymore,

904
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 1: but for a very long time he used to be

905
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 1: sponsored by a big shopping center out here called Westfield.

906
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: And yeah, so yeah, they would, they would, they would

907
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 1: race from Melbourne to I don't even I should.

908
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:25,839
Speaker 2: Cliff.

909
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 1: So there was there was a farmer, basically untrained dude.

910
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 2: I think he was fifty five or sixty.

911
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: He'd never done anything competitive, but he spent his life

912
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 1: running around a farm literally all day, every day, not

913
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 1: all day, but and he was just had this but

914
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,840
Speaker 1: what he was able to do, Like he ran slower

915
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 1: than everybody else, but he ran fucking twenty hours a day.

916
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:52,280
Speaker 3: Yeah right, so while everyone yeah, he just kept going dude.

917
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 3: So and that's and that's life. Rather like it's a

918
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:59,040
Speaker 3: game of attrition. You're staying the game long enough, you

919
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 3: will be sixcess us. Will I guarantee it you know,

920
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 3: because it's not how fashion do, it's who slows down

921
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 3: the least.

922
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's I mean one of the things that

923
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:13,400
Speaker 1: I get, which I understand, but I kind of correct

924
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 1: once I start my presentation. Sometimes I get introduced as

925
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,920
Speaker 1: a motivational speaker, right, which I'm not. I'm an educator,

926
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 1: I'm a coach whatever, right, And then I talk about motivation,

927
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 1: and you know, the thing is that, like in the

928
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 1: sense of getting shit done. You know when we talk

929
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 1: about motivation as a state that we get in, you know, inspiration, motivation,

930
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 1: that heightened emotion, and people think that's the key, and

931
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 1: I kind of unpack that with them and go, look,

932
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 1: when you're motivated in that state, it's great, but you know,

933
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 1: there's going to come a point in time and it

934
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 1: could be tonight, or it could be tomorrow, it could

935
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 1: be a month, but where you're not motivated. And I

936
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 1: would say to all of my clients, you know, athletes,

937
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:57,920
Speaker 1: et cetera, I don't care what you do when you're motivated.

938
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:59,800
Speaker 1: I care what you do when you can't be fucked.

939
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: I care what you do when no one's watching. I

940
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: care what you do when you don't want to get

941
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 1: out of bed. I care what you do when you've

942
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 1: got zero inspiration, right, because it's our ability to be

943
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:10,920
Speaker 1: able to do those things that we don't want to

944
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: do when we're getting no accolades, no cheer squad, no

945
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: fucking trophy, no pat on the back, no validation. You know,

946
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,879
Speaker 1: that's the thing. And it's that ability to be able

947
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 1: to I know, you know all of this, but to

948
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 1: be able to just suck it up and go. I

949
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 1: don't want to do it, but I need to do it.

950
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 2: Off I go.

951
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 1: You know, And it's that you know, people, people, so

952
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 1: many people have said to me over the years, you know,

953
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:40,320
Speaker 1: I just lost motivation. I'm like, and and.

954
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 2: I go, welcome to the human club.

955
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 1: We all fucking lose motivation, you know. It's like people

956
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 1: say to me, like, I started lifting weights when I

957
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 1: was fifteen, so I pretty much have not stopped for

958
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 1: forty five years. I'm sixty, right, and I'm not a superstar.

959
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,760
Speaker 1: I don't have great genetics, but for my age, et cetera,

960
00:48:58,760 --> 00:48:59,800
Speaker 1: I'm in not bad shape.

961
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:03,240
Speaker 2: Every every gig I do, some bloke.

962
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:06,360
Speaker 1: Will come up to talk to me and say something like,

963
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 1: how do you stay motivated to hit the gym? Every

964
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:11,879
Speaker 1: day and I go I don't. It's literally hardwired into

965
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:16,360
Speaker 1: my operating system. It requires zero discipline, zero self control,

966
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 1: zero willpower, zero motivation because it's literally intertwined with who

967
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:25,319
Speaker 1: I am and how I am. It just takes a

968
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 1: while right for people to get that. It ain't about

969
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:29,840
Speaker 1: how inspired you can be for a.

970
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:35,399
Speaker 3: Day one hundred percent man's And that's why I think

971
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 3: it gets that lifestyle, you know, it is when it

972
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 3: becomes intertwined. If this is just what I do now,

973
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 3: I love it, man, because it's fun for me. You know.

974
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:58,520
Speaker 3: It's my thing is running, and it's it's there at

975
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 3: five thirty in the morning when it's dark out and

976
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 3: I get to run with my chocolate lab. That's the

977
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 3: best part, man, for me, because it's quiet. I'm getting

978
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 3: after it. I'm focusing on my breathing and it's still,

979
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:15,360
Speaker 3: you know, and I'll pray out there and just enjoy

980
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 3: that moment. And I mean I never run with any

981
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 3: music nothing, man. I don't need a distraction when it

982
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 3: comes out. I just need to be in the moment.

983
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:28,839
Speaker 3: But it's it's not like it's just what I do, yeah,

984
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 3: because I love doing it.

985
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm imagining you don't get particularly stressed or anxious

986
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:38,320
Speaker 1: or maybe I'm wrong.

987
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:40,799
Speaker 3: Oh, man, I do. Yeah, that's that's another reason why

988
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 3: I have to work out and exercise. If I don't, Man,

989
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 3: I'm yeah right stressed.

990
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,319
Speaker 2: Right, that's your guy, that's your got to. I want

991
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 2: to wind up with.

992
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:57,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, some of my research on you, So my research

993
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: my PI day is on a think called metaperception, which

994
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:04,480
Speaker 1: is your ability to understand your ability to understand the

995
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 1: you experience for others. In other words, the question at

996
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 1: the core of my research, if we personalized it for you,

997
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 1: is what's the Rob Bell experience like for others? What

998
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 1: do you think that is? What do you think the

999
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 1: rob experience is like for your family, for your friends,

1000
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 1: for an audience.

1001
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 3: It's a great question. I asked the question in my

1002
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 3: podcast that makes people pause as well. And I hope

1003
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 3: and what I think though, and I'm trying to think

1004
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 3: back because not every situation is always positive. But I

1005
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:54,400
Speaker 3: believe that those that I get to spend time with,

1006
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 3: and I'm fortunate enough to get to spend time with,

1007
00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 3: are better off and better people because we shared the

1008
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 3: same breath, we shared the same oxygen, you share the

1009
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:09,359
Speaker 3: same space, you know, and I just also pray that

1010
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 3: that make an impact in their lives, and I want,

1011
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 3: I want that's the that's the biggest why for me.

1012
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,759
Speaker 3: But I believe in that parts to be true, that

1013
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 3: people are better off and they are better people, and

1014
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 3: they made an impact because we've got to spend time

1015
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 3: together and break bad together and go through tough times.

1016
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, good fee man, Well that's that's a good answer.

1017
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:34,920
Speaker 3: What's yours?

1018
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 1: Do you know? What? Like, if I'm being brutal and authentic,

1019
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 1: you know, I think probably better to ask my audience.

1020
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 1: But seeing as I'm doing a playage doing this, I'll

1021
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:53,240
Speaker 1: give you an answer. I think more people that listen

1022
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 1: to my show will listen to my presentations or involved

1023
00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 1: in my workshops more than not have a positive opinion.

1024
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:07,840
Speaker 1: I think, you know, It's like I get to it

1025
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 1: because I have a pretty big audience somewhere on everyday show,

1026
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:13,640
Speaker 1: I get two or three emails a week essentially telling

1027
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 1: me I'm a fucking idiot, which.

1028
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:16,880
Speaker 2: I'm okay with.

1029
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 1: Man, Yeah, you need you need people. Look, I think

1030
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:28,640
Speaker 1: some people think I'm intense, some people think I'm inspiring,

1031
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 1: some people think I'm a little bit intimidating. Which I

1032
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:32,839
Speaker 1: don't like.

1033
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 2: But you know, when I used to lecture at university or.

1034
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:42,320
Speaker 1: College as you call it, I would get mostly positive reviews.

1035
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:45,359
Speaker 1: You know that the students would, but probably about one

1036
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 1: in ten would say something like Craig's intimidating, which you know,

1037
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:54,319
Speaker 1: then I tried to address. But yeah, look, I what

1038
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 1: my intention is to help and love and inspire and

1039
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 1: empower people to explore their own you know, potential. That's

1040
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:05,879
Speaker 1: my intention. I don't always do it. I'm a work

1041
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 1: in progress. But you know, I think most people think

1042
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 1: I'm pretty driven and pretty. I think they might think

1043
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 1: I'm a little obsessed, but I'm I'm not. I'm just

1044
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 1: fucking curious. And it's like, my energy at sixty is ridiculous, dude,

1045
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 1: my brain, my mind, my body, my creativity, my curiosity,

1046
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 1: my excitement. It's more than it was when I was thirty.

1047
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 1: I don't even know why. Like, nothing in me feels

1048
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,359
Speaker 1: like I'm slowing down. I could drop dead next week,

1049
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: but today I feel fucking amazing. So yeah, but it's

1050
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: an interesting thought experiment, isn't it.

1051
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good. I like that one. I asked, like,

1052
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 3: what it's like to be your client? But I like

1053
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 3: the way that you put it a lot better. Hence

1054
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:03,359
Speaker 3: that's really interesting, PhD. I'll try and do this in

1055
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 3: one or two minutes for you and you'll totally understand this.

1056
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 3: But so I created a little kind of self awareness

1057
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:12,319
Speaker 3: pyramid which is not really part of my research but

1058
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 3: just out of my research which I share with groups.

1059
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 3: And at the base of the pyramid.

1060
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 1: Is metacognition, just thinking about thinking, right, because most people

1061
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 1: don't really think about how they think, and most people,

1062
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:29,839
Speaker 1: most people automatically think that other people think like them,

1063
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 1: which is false consensus effect, the false consensus effect, which

1064
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,400
Speaker 1: is they think that you know what's coming out of

1065
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:40,319
Speaker 1: their mouth, their intention will be the other person's experience, right,

1066
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:42,240
Speaker 1: That's often not the case.

1067
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 2: And then when you think people think like you, but

1068
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 2: they don't and you don't have that awareness, that's a problem.

1069
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:51,319
Speaker 2: So the next layer up, or the next you know,

1070
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:54,280
Speaker 2: kind of level on the pyramid is theory of mind,

1071
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:57,160
Speaker 2: is thinking about how other people think and as you know,

1072
00:55:57,719 --> 00:56:00,839
Speaker 2: trying to have an insight into someone else's reality in

1073
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 2: the moment. And then the next one up from that

1074
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:06,799
Speaker 2: is my research which has meta perception, which is trying

1075
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:09,440
Speaker 2: to understand the you experience for the rest of the world.

1076
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:12,320
Speaker 2: And then at the top of that is meta accuracy,

1077
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:14,920
Speaker 2: which is just basically how good you are at that.

1078
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 2: But it's funny because you know, in leadership, in coaching,

1079
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 2: in conflict resolution and problem solving, in team building, communication, developing, culture, this,

1080
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 2: all of these things are crucial.

1081
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 1: But they're not spoken about much. You know, people don't.

1082
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 1: People don't. I mean even the metaphor rob that you know,

1083
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:39,680
Speaker 1: you and I are in the same comp or not

1084
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 1: the metaphor, but the reality you and I are in

1085
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:44,560
Speaker 1: the same conversation but not the same experience. And let's

1086
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 1: say we have ten thousand people listen to this. No

1087
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:50,080
Speaker 1: one's going to have an identical experience, although they're listening

1088
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:53,839
Speaker 1: to an identical thing, you know, and that whole kind

1089
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:59,239
Speaker 1: of you know, there's the having an awareness that I'm

1090
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 1: not looking at the world, I'm looking through my window

1091
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 1: at the world. So there's there's the world, and then

1092
00:57:04,719 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 1: there's my story about the world, and they're different things.

1093
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:11,440
Speaker 1: There's the stimulus, and then there's my story about or

1094
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 1: response to the stimulus, which is why you throw a

1095
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:17,800
Speaker 1: snake at somebody and they have a fucking heart attack.

1096
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:20,920
Speaker 1: Is so throw the same snake at somebody else and

1097
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:21,880
Speaker 1: they give it a cuddle.

1098
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:22,880
Speaker 2: You know.

1099
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 1: It's like, it ain't about the snake or the stimulus,

1100
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:26,240
Speaker 1: it's about.

1101
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 2: What it means to you.

1102
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:30,440
Speaker 1: So that whole kind of and this isn't podcast for

1103
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 1: another day, but I love that shit. Yeah it's good man, dude.

1104
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll go there on your show. Hey, Rob, tell

1105
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 1: people where they can follow you, find you, buy your stuff,

1106
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 1: connect with you. And I'm so grateful to.

1107
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:47,960
Speaker 3: You, absolutely, man. I appreciate that. You know. If people

1108
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 3: go to my website, it's just it's doctor Robbell dot com.

1109
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 3: It's b R R O B B E L L

1110
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 3: dot com. All my books are there. I've got a

1111
00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:58,360
Speaker 3: I've always got it, like a free resource. It's just

1112
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 3: a focused roadmap, like seven super fast ways to win

1113
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 3: the day. But yeah, my latest book was I Can't

1114
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,280
Speaker 3: Wait to Be Patient, and it's just all focused on

1115
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 3: the power of time, you know. And I'd be happy

1116
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:16,120
Speaker 3: to send you to one mate, And but you know,

1117
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 3: all my resources are there, man, if anybody goes there,

1118
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 3: it's always a good one. Just a quick download form.

1119
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 3: But I appreciate you having me on, brother. I want

1120
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 3: to get you on mine and we've already titled your

1121
00:58:25,560 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 3: podcast and that is the same conversation, different experience.

1122
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:31,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, nice do what I did there?

1123
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:32,520
Speaker 2: Thanks Bro.

1124
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:36,200
Speaker 1: Well, we'll say goodbye affair, but for the moment Dr

1125
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 1: rob Bell appreciate you.

1126
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 2: You're a fucking superstar.

1127
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:39,920
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1128
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:41,080
Speaker 3: Cheers mate,