1 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to separate bathrooms. We would like to 2 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: acknowledge the gaddagor people of the urination, and give respects 3 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: to their elders, both past and accent. I'm Ali Daddo. 4 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 2: I'm Cam Daddo. Hi, Hi, Hi, how are you. 5 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: I'm good. 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 2: We're recording this from our home studio. 7 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 1: Yes, today we're at home. 8 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm just loving the lens that I'm on. Yeah, 9 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:34,880 Speaker 2: it's kind of got that Hollywood. 10 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: It's old Hollywood vasaline. 11 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 2: Vassoline on the lens, and I'm feeling like this is 12 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 2: this is a pretty good thing. 13 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, you look at least five years younger. 14 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 2: Five. 15 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, that takes you down to like thirty five. 16 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 2: There you go. Thirty five is the new fifty. 17 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 1: Nine, No, the new fifth. The fifty nine is your 18 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: midlife still fifty. 19 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 2: Nine fifty nine, Yeah. 20 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,119 Speaker 1: That's a great age. 21 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 2: Crowding sixty eight crowding mony. Yeah. There are moments when 22 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:09,839 Speaker 2: I do mind. 23 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: I know, Oh, I know. 24 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 2: What was I looking at the other day someone was 25 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 2: talking about I know who it was. It was Hamish Blake. 26 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 2: He was talking about if you could have your time again, 27 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,319 Speaker 2: would you have You'd be a billionaire in your time 28 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 2: again or would you want your time again? And I 29 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 2: think the question was asked of Richard Branson. Richard Branson said, 30 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 2: I can always make the money. I want my time again, right, 31 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 2: I'll give up the billionaire because I could do that again. 32 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 2: I've already done that one. 33 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: That's confidence, isn't it to know that you've done it 34 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: so you can make your money again and to have. 35 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 2: The time again to And I think I've been thinking 36 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 2: about that for myself, just going here. It would be 37 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 2: interesting to go back and have that time again. I 38 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 2: would we live that? 39 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'd love it. 40 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 2: Why would you love it? 41 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: Because I'd love to have the time with the kids 42 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: again when they were little. That's that's it, Like, that's 43 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:18,080 Speaker 1: everything the main reason. Yeah, so fun. Do you know, 44 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 1: we thought we would today we do something a little different. 45 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:28,359 Speaker 1: So obviously, you know, this is a relationship podcast, and 46 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 1: we're always sort of researching, you know, what makes relationships tick, 47 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,959 Speaker 1: what's good advice relationships? How can we bring that into 48 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 1: a discussion or great questions to ask your spouse or 49 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: your partner. So we it's just the two of us today, 50 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: so we actually thought we would share some of the 51 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: research and questions that we have discovered over the years 52 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 1: and see if this helps you guys out. So if 53 00:02:54,320 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: you want to grab a patten pencils at school something, yeah. 54 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 2: As you're walking, you know, just grab your iPhone go 55 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 2: to the notes. 56 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, or share it with your spouse. Share this podcast 57 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: with your spouse and say, hey, listen to this. This 58 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: is some stuff we could do to help our relationship, 59 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: because I think there's some pretty good bits and bobs 60 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 1: in here. 61 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. So one of the ways that we share information 62 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:26,080 Speaker 2: is by sending each other Instagram posts. And I was 63 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,679 Speaker 2: never I mean, how would send me? Like sometimes there'd 64 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 2: be ten sitting there waiting for me, and I'd be like, 65 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 2: I got to look at these Instagram posts? Do I 66 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 2: really have time for this? But then I think you 67 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 2: sent me one of those instagrat posts was about their 68 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 2: pebbles or their breadcrumbs, and they are helping me understand 69 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 2: or you are helping me understand you better by sending 70 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 2: me what interests you. 71 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: I send it. And I sent that same that same 72 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: information to the kids as well as like, this is 73 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: like a little love note to you that I'm thinking 74 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: about you. And here's a little video that I thought 75 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: you might find interesting, because I don't find stuff that 76 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 1: I find like I will send you golf videos or 77 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: I'll send river baking videos or you know. So it's 78 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: just yeah, it's a little it's a little love note 79 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: pebble that I send your way to go here go. 80 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: I thought you enjoy this. 81 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 2: Well, it's changed my perception of those posts now. Yeah, 82 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,600 Speaker 2: I look at every single one and most of them 83 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:40,960 Speaker 2: are funny. Yes, and then I obviously am reciprocating and 84 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 2: sending them back to you. Yeah, not those ones back, 85 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 2: but the ones that I'm finding are curiously funny. Yes. 86 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 2: And it's a great dialogue, yeah, that we're having so 87 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 2: often these As al said, these posts are maybe ideas 88 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,720 Speaker 2: for topics of discussion for us to talk about with 89 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 2: you on separate bathrooms. So where do you want to start. 90 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: Well, I've got the list of questions and things and 91 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 1: topics that we can just run through and share them 92 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,679 Speaker 1: out and see if any of these resonate with the listener. 93 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 2: Our furnish me with this list just prior to rolling 94 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,919 Speaker 2: on this and so I'm looking at these questions for 95 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:22,720 Speaker 2: the first time. 96 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,039 Speaker 1: That's some good ones. Yeah, it's just sort of like 97 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,840 Speaker 1: questions to get, you know, to create more intimacy. 98 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 2: Okay, so here's question one. Yeah, here's question one. What's 99 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,599 Speaker 2: your favorite weird habit of mine? 100 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I'm already stumped a favorite weird habit? 101 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 2: Well, is there a weird habit to favorite? 102 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:52,799 Speaker 1: So many habits, weird habits, weird. 103 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,480 Speaker 2: Habits while you're thinking, I can give you one of me. Yeah, 104 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 2: what's the first one that came to mind? 105 00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:58,719 Speaker 1: Yeah? 106 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 2: Your your particular way of making a cup of tea. Oh, 107 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 2: some would say that's a weird habit. 108 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, probably, But is it a favorite of yours? 109 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:14,280 Speaker 2: Well, it's become that because I've watched you so many 110 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:18,479 Speaker 2: make so many cups of tea that I try to copy. 111 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,600 Speaker 1: That you do, and you've done well. 112 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,159 Speaker 2: Now it's changed, though, hasn't it. It's only been in 113 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 2: the in the last six months. 114 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: It's brilliant. 115 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,600 Speaker 2: I'm making you proper cups, the best, the best. 116 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,840 Speaker 1: You've learned from, You've learned from the. 117 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 2: Master to make the best. The tea snob. 118 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:35,360 Speaker 1: We call it tea snob. I wear that label proudly. 119 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,039 Speaker 2: Oh I'm glad, I'm glad. I'm glad you dig in 120 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 2: my cups of tea. I'm making you. 121 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: I think. The first thing that comes to mind for 122 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: me isn't And I've said I think I shared this 123 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:48,880 Speaker 1: in the last podcast. Actually, and it's it's wild that 124 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: I'm now being able to say this because it's shifted. 125 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 1: Is it's the habit of how your brain works, like 126 00:06:56,440 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 1: I'm actually it is now my favorite thing now that 127 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: I understand it, of how your brain functions, I can 128 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: and I know your how your train of thought goes. 129 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: It's actually become a bit of a favorite thing about you. 130 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 1: For me, it's like, I is so weird, it's. 131 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 3: So interesting, it's so like wow, I don't know anyone 132 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 3: else that thinks like that. 133 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 2: Okay, well, now we've established my My brain's like a 134 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 2: flow chart. It's literally like year nine maths, a flow chart. 135 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 2: Things go yes, no, oh, follow that one, follow this one. Oh, 136 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 2: there's a track, I'll go over that way. I end 137 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 2: up on those weird. 138 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 1: I think you would have failed miserably if that was 139 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: the flow chart you hand it into your math teacher, 140 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: because it is a flow chart that goes, you know, maths. 141 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 2: My mates when we play golf just goes. Don't give 142 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 2: him the school, give him, don't let daddo. Keep score. 143 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 1: Now, okay, question here's another good one. If I lost 144 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: my memory, What would be the first thing that you 145 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 1: would tell me about us? 146 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 2: About us? Yeah, oh wow, I would say that, believe 147 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 2: it or not, we have been married for over thirty years. Yeah, 148 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 2: and we have three of the most amazing children. Yeah, 149 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 2: that would be the first thing I would tell you. Yeah, 150 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 2: so before you know, just know that as I come 151 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 2: up to you and go to hug you. Yeah. Right, 152 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,040 Speaker 2: we've actually done this for a long time. 153 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, amazing. 154 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 2: Yes, And what would you tell me about us? 155 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: I would say you are married to the most incredible 156 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 1: human ever to walk the face of the earth, and 157 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: try to convince you of that. 158 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 2: You mean, I couldn't see that, I can see. 159 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 1: I would probably say, Yeah. Those would be the first things. 160 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 1: That we've been married for a long time, we have 161 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:06,679 Speaker 1: three children, and that we've lived in other countries. This 162 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 1: isn't you know, This isn't we've lived in Yeah, many, 163 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 1: We've traveled to a lot of places and seen a 164 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,559 Speaker 1: lot of things and been through some really really hard 165 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 1: times and come out the other side. 166 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 2: That's nice. Yeah, this is a great question. How do 167 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 2: you think I've changed since we first met. 168 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 1: Look, I don't. Intrinsically, you are absolutely the same person. 169 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 1: Like you're very, very similar to when I first met you, 170 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 1: except for one thing, which I think is what's the 171 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 1: biggest thing. There's other things that have changed as well, 172 00:09:54,640 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 1: in small ways perhaps, but you have become a way 173 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: better listener and more curious about other people. 174 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that's something I've been working on. 175 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: I know, and you've you're succeeding. 176 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 2: Okay, that's good. I want to be a better human. Yeah, 177 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 2: ask me the question now. 178 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,319 Speaker 1: Oh god, I don't know if I want to ask you? 179 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,720 Speaker 1: How do you think I've changed since we first met? 180 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 2: I don't think much the same way. I don't think 181 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 2: you've really the innate you has changed. You've always been loving, 182 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 2: You've always been kind, playful, love a laugh. I think 183 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 2: the most important and biggest change that you've made is 184 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,079 Speaker 2: you're not as much as a. 185 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 3: Is. 186 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 2: You're not the people pleaser that you were right back 187 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:52,320 Speaker 2: in the day. 188 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,439 Speaker 1: And I've been working on that. 189 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, you you have no issues standing up for what's right. 190 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 2: You know. It's that moment, it's that thing of don't 191 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 2: mistake my kindness for weakness, and I think that definitely 192 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 2: that's how you've changed, because when I first met you, 193 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 2: you were not like that. Yeah, to bend over backwards, 194 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 2: to do whatever, absolutely absolutely agreed. Agreed. Good some good 195 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 2: evolution there. 196 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: So if there's one thing you wish people knew about me, 197 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:28,440 Speaker 1: what would it be? 198 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:35,320 Speaker 2: One thing people knew about you? I think they're starting 199 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 2: to get to know you. How delightful you are, yeah, 200 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:47,319 Speaker 2: and how much you care, how deeply you care. I 201 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 2: think that it's very easy to and we do it, 202 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 2: you know, make these broad assumptions about someone after we've 203 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 2: only seen them or met them. Ah, yeah, you know 204 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 2: that that person's a model, or yeah she's pretty she 205 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 2: would Yeah. Though, I think people who get to know 206 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 2: you really understand how you appreciate and are grateful for 207 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,439 Speaker 2: a depth of friendship. 208 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 1: Oh that's lovely. 209 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:25,439 Speaker 2: Yeah. I want people to know you in how deeply 210 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 2: you feel and how much you appreciate friendships. Yeah. Yeah. 211 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 2: What about if there's one thing you wish people knew 212 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 2: about me? What would it be? Yeah? 213 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: I think it would be that you're a lot more 214 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 1: spiritual and a deeper thinker than people realize. Like I 215 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,079 Speaker 1: think you come you're laughing. 216 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 2: Do I come across as just flighty. 217 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 1: Not flighty, but sometimes a bit fluffy, maybe a bit 218 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:08,960 Speaker 1: sort of light and fluffy, you know Cameron Diado Smooth, 219 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: their fam you know, like, you know, just like light. 220 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 1: But that's part of your charm as well. You can 221 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 1: sort of you know, light and fluffy sometimes and there's 222 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: a whole other side to you. That's a good thing. 223 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I don't know 224 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 1: how often you share your deep thoughts with a lot 225 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 1: of people, or you know that your spirituality with people. 226 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 1: I think that that's something that you keep fairly you know, 227 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: sacred and to yourself. 228 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 2: Yes, well I'm a pasties. 229 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 230 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, so i'd swim in deep water. 231 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 1: Oh there you go. There's some depth for you, all 232 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:53,560 Speaker 1: right now. 233 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 2: No, I think that's very kind of you to say 234 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,679 Speaker 2: that and to acknowledge that. Yes, I do think deeply 235 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:03,920 Speaker 2: about things, sometimes a little bit too much. Yeah, do 236 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 2: often share it? Maybe not. 237 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: I really loved those questions. I pulled them from the Internet. 238 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 1: I thought I'd never ever thought about those questions to ask, 239 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 1: and to sort of see them written down, I'm like, 240 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 1: I really want to ask those questions of you, so 241 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:24,080 Speaker 1: I loved those ones particularly. Then I just took some 242 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: information about travel because we've had a couple of short 243 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 1: but sweet trips of late, and they've just been so 244 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 1: lovely to get away with you. And I've just got 245 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: some facts about travel. You want to share some of that. 246 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 1: There's a seven percent increase in life satisfaction if you 247 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: travel more. 248 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 2: That makes sense, Yeah, because you're gaining experience, Yeah, broadening yourself. 249 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 2: All right, what about this one? 250 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 1: This is important. 251 00:14:56,560 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 2: Women who take vacations frequently are less likely to become depressed, 252 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 2: and I'm more satisfied with their relationships. Would you agree 253 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:05,600 Speaker 2: with that. 254 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 1: I did not make that up. That that was a 255 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 1: fact from Instagram, and Instagram is never wrong. 256 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 2: It must be true. 257 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 1: I actually don't know where they these facts are coming. 258 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,200 Speaker 2: From, but I thought it wouldn't makes sense. 259 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 1: It makes sense because I know that for myself and 260 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 1: I know that for my girlfriends, that that little time 261 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 1: away from hubby or partner or kids can really just 262 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: do a big reset. I'm sure for the fellows as well. 263 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 1: You know, but women do tend to be the deep 264 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 1: homemakers of the partnership, and sometimes they got to have 265 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: that break. 266 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, from a fellow's perspective on that, I think 267 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 2: boys trips like a golf trip or surfing trip or 268 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 2: fishing trip, weekend away is hugely beneficial as well. 269 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, but is it beneficial to the relationship. 270 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 2: Depends on the fellas you go with exactly. You know 271 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 2: what you're getting up to. But I think that in 272 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 2: my experience, the way it is when I have my 273 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 2: annual trip with my mates from Madaliza, the guys I 274 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 2: grew up with and went to school with, I think 275 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 2: I come back better in our relationship because I've had 276 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 2: an opportunity to sometimes blow off with those guys, just 277 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 2: talk about stuff and probably more importantly, hear what they're 278 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 2: going through as well. 279 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,800 Speaker 1: Well, it wasn't They didn't say that on Instagram, So 280 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's true. I only know it's 281 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: best for women. 282 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 2: Of course, So see I'm dealing with all right. 283 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 1: Fifty one percent of traveling couples have more love in 284 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: a one week vacation than they do in eight weeks 285 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 1: at home. 286 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 2: Well, that makes of course, that's the day because you're 287 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,240 Speaker 2: not surrounded by all the minutia of home, and you're 288 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,680 Speaker 2: in some hot hotel room designed by a forty year 289 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 2: old dude who wants to be a little colored glass 290 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,720 Speaker 2: and sexy. And you're are you talking about when you 291 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 2: go away for that weekend, that one week. 292 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: Away every camping in a tent, that is graz Yeah. 293 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 2: But I'm just saying from one perspective, that's a weird perspective. 294 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 2: But don't you think though, Not that we've stayed in 295 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,400 Speaker 2: many boutique hotels, but but a lot of them are 296 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,119 Speaker 2: these days kind of like feel like they've been designed 297 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 2: by by a young architect, you know, with sliding panels 298 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:42,160 Speaker 2: and case in point, the hotel we stayed out last 299 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,880 Speaker 2: week and with its sliding petition. One slide side went 300 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,199 Speaker 2: across to the covered up the toilet, but then that 301 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 2: was opening up the shower, and the other side was 302 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,200 Speaker 2: opening closing the shower, but opening up the toilet. 303 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 1: It's sort of but I don't sit there going this 304 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: young architect guy with groovy glasses on his has. 305 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,159 Speaker 2: Design this thing to get that is stimulated for a 306 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,119 Speaker 2: hot weekend. No hotel, you don't. 307 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,880 Speaker 1: Think so, No, I don't think that that's. 308 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 2: That's that's how my brain works. Yeah, it's the colored 309 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 2: glass and the low lighting Okay, all right, let's go 310 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,040 Speaker 2: next fact, keep it moving. 311 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, ninety four percent of couples who travel together feel 312 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 1: very close to one another, compared to eighty six of 313 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,399 Speaker 1: couples who don't. 314 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 2: Why do you think that is? 315 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,679 Speaker 1: Well, it's the same thing, isn't it Like you're experiencing 316 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 1: something together, often for the first time. If you're traveling 317 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 1: to a new country, you're eating at a new place, 318 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 1: you're seeing new things. 319 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,880 Speaker 2: So you know, you're still leaning on each other as well, 320 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 2: aren't you. 321 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, and forward facing together. You know. It's so it's 322 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 1: such a great thing. It's such a great thing for 323 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 1: couples to if they can get away question for you, 324 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: then even staycation like. 325 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 2: They're the best. Yeah, you know, it's just a little 326 00:18:56,520 --> 00:19:00,679 Speaker 2: breather and take some time away. I love traveling with you, 327 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:01,560 Speaker 2: that's the point. 328 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,439 Speaker 1: And I love traveling. 329 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,640 Speaker 2: I would do a great escape like going through all 330 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 2: that because I mean just the stories you would have 331 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,480 Speaker 2: would be awesome. 332 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:22,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's kind of that's it on travel. Okay, 333 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:28,439 Speaker 1: So then I found ten check in questions for you 334 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 1: and your partner that you can do at the end 335 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 1: of each week. You set aside, like you know, half 336 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,480 Speaker 1: an hour, thirty minutes. And this is from this one 337 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:43,800 Speaker 1: particular relationship instagram that I follow, And this is this 338 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 1: husband and wife who've come up with these ten questions. 339 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,639 Speaker 1: I don't think we should answer them for ourselves, but 340 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,479 Speaker 1: these are just the questions that they suggest have worked 341 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:54,879 Speaker 1: for them really well. 342 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,920 Speaker 2: All right, Well, here's this is question number one of 343 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 2: check in questions for you and your partner. What's something 344 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,439 Speaker 2: you appreciate me for this week? 345 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: I think that's really lovely. I think that's so nice 346 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 1: to ask that. 347 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:10,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. 348 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:16,439 Speaker 1: Yeah. Number two, what's something you're proud of yourself for? 349 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: This Week's so beautiful? 350 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:25,919 Speaker 2: Ye? Is there anything left unsaid? So let's finish it? 351 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:26,840 Speaker 1: That's a ripper. 352 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:28,200 Speaker 2: That's a good question. 353 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,280 Speaker 1: Oh I love this one too. What have you been 354 00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:34,040 Speaker 1: trying to tell me that I haven't been hearing? 355 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,959 Speaker 2: Yes, that's a great question. 356 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. This will also be really good for the kids, 357 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:44,320 Speaker 1: you know, to ask your kids. 358 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,880 Speaker 2: Do you need to see boundaries around or parameters around 359 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:52,959 Speaker 2: how you're answering these questions? I mean, because there's some 360 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 2: of them you could get pretty pointed and might end 361 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 2: up in a bit of a Barney buy. 362 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 1: Well, I think you'd have to no, I would hope not. 363 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 1: I'd hope that you would be if the goal is 364 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,560 Speaker 1: to create more intimacy and closeness, than I would hope 365 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 1: that the other partner would understand that in those questions 366 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: that it would be you'd be aligned in that. 367 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 2: I think listening is that is eighty percent of the 368 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 2: equation here, because you're asking the question, you want to 369 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 2: listen to the answers. Do you have needs that are 370 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:27,560 Speaker 2: not getting met that I can do something about? Yeah? Nice? 371 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 2: Shall I answer that? No? 372 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 1: Number six, what's going well in our relationship? 373 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 2: I can answer that. 374 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: That's nice. Let's have a positive. 375 00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,240 Speaker 2: How did you know that question five wasn't going to 376 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:49,159 Speaker 2: be a positive answer? That's okay? Yeah, what are you 377 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 2: committed to this week? Yeah, that's a great question. 378 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,880 Speaker 1: I know, because it could go all sorts of places. 379 00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: There's another one. Number eight is how are we prioritized 380 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 1: as in intimacy this week? 381 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:08,119 Speaker 2: Very important? So question nine is more about sort of 382 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 2: a logistical question. What are the planning and logistical things 383 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 2: do we have to do this week? Because it's always 384 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,160 Speaker 2: good to have a plan. 385 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what we always ask each other. What 386 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,359 Speaker 1: have you got this week? So I know A lot 387 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 1: of people share their calendar as well, which I think 388 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: is really smart, so you can see what all the 389 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,040 Speaker 1: moving pieces and you're not sort of planning things when 390 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,639 Speaker 1: the other partners got stuff to do. 391 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 2: We share our calendar and it is literally a calendar 392 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:39,920 Speaker 2: hanging on the hall. 393 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's smarter, like this year is from Ireland? 394 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:47,120 Speaker 2: Are we Are we ever going to go into iCal 395 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 2: or one of those sort. 396 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,520 Speaker 1: Of you don't use that you you right in an 397 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 1: actual I still have a diary. 398 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:57,160 Speaker 2: I still use my big, big old diary that ends 399 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,119 Speaker 2: up looking like and Dog's Breakfast by the end of 400 00:22:59,160 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 2: the year. 401 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,960 Speaker 1: And ten is how can I support you this week? 402 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 2: It's a great question. 403 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: It's lovely. So I loved all of those and they're 404 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,720 Speaker 1: easy questions to ask, you know, when they just gets 405 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 1: you deeper with your partner, especially when you feel like 406 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 1: you're you know, when you feel like you're just two 407 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: floating people in the house and not you've lost the connection. 408 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 1: And we've had a lot of I can't say a lot, 409 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 1: but we have had some listeners right in about that, 410 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,480 Speaker 1: saying that we've been married for this long lost connection. 411 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on. How do we get back. 412 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:40,119 Speaker 1: It's it's it's you know, as always, it's communication. And 413 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,040 Speaker 1: if these questions help, I think that's really good. 414 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 2: I think they will. I think they will. And where 415 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,920 Speaker 2: are we going next? If you plan to be married 416 00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:53,719 Speaker 2: a long time and who doesn't stand at the altar 417 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 2: with you with your love? 418 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: Yeah? 419 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,639 Speaker 2: And not planned to be married a long time, I 420 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 2: don't know that anyone would bother, would they? Aside from 421 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 2: if we were doing it when we were ninety years old? 422 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:06,200 Speaker 1: Oh? 423 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:06,719 Speaker 2: True? 424 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 1: But even then you'd be like till the end of 425 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,120 Speaker 1: my life, end of my life. Yeah, yeah, that's true. 426 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,160 Speaker 1: I would think that everyone would be planning to stay. 427 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,359 Speaker 2: Yeah. So if you plan to be married a long time, 428 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 2: get more comfortable saying these things correct. Number one, you're right, 429 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,879 Speaker 2: I didn't get that done as i'd promised. I know 430 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,159 Speaker 2: it was important to you, and I'm gonna get it 431 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,440 Speaker 2: done today. Yeah, that's pretty cool. 432 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:38,160 Speaker 1: That's good right. Number two, I'm sorry I got defensive 433 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,919 Speaker 1: and didn't hear you out. Can you share that again 434 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:42,920 Speaker 1: so I can understand what you need? 435 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:48,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a beauty. Number three, I realized I was 436 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 2: snappy and short with you. I have some other things 437 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 2: I'm overwhelmed by and you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry. 438 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 2: So yeah, there's a lot of that art of apology 439 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 2: happening here to get comfortable saying, get comfy apologizing. 440 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,719 Speaker 1: And then number four, I know you have been working 441 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 1: so hard lately, and I want you to know I 442 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,320 Speaker 1: see and appreciate everything you are doing for our family. 443 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 2: That's a big one. 444 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 1: When I read that one, I was like, that's a 445 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,680 Speaker 1: Cameron Dado love language one. 446 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 2: You like that, you like it? I do? I know 447 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 2: I do, because you put a lot of time and 448 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:36,440 Speaker 2: effort and you know, and in this crazy entertainment business, 449 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 2: there's a lot of thinking time that looks like you're 450 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 2: doing nothing, but you're kind of conceiving and dreaming. And yeah, 451 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 2: so that's that's a nice one. We all like to 452 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:45,280 Speaker 2: be seen. 453 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,040 Speaker 1: And also, you know, just to shout out to you know, 454 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:53,040 Speaker 1: working hard also means being a stay at home mum. 455 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:54,760 Speaker 2: Correct. 456 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that you're in the office working long hours. 457 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,880 Speaker 1: It can mean you are working twenty four to seven hours, 458 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 1: being at home with your babies. 459 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 2: Taking care of the treasures. 460 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 1: Plus and you got the working mums who are also 461 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,240 Speaker 1: raising kids, so it's like, yeah. 462 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:19,120 Speaker 2: You always bring that perspective in and it's very much 463 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 2: appreciated by I'm sure by the people that are going 464 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 2: through it, and also to be reminded of it. Yeah, 465 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 2: you know, as someone who's being important. I feel like 466 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:37,920 Speaker 2: I just need to vent about some things I'm overwhelmed by. 467 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,840 Speaker 2: Oh this is this is the important part here. Could 468 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,360 Speaker 2: you just listen to me vent for a few minutes. 469 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:52,760 Speaker 1: Yep, we do this. It's so helpful. It is so helpful. 470 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,679 Speaker 2: And then and then the addendum to that one is 471 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,440 Speaker 2: what do you want me to give you a solution 472 00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,240 Speaker 2: or do you just want me to be a listen? 473 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's a greater addendum. I noticed that I've 474 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 1: been more critical and nitpicky lately, and that's not enjoyable 475 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:17,960 Speaker 1: at home. I'm going to focus more on the positive. Yeah, 476 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:27,320 Speaker 1: ringing true, don't say I know, don't say I know. 477 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm guilty of it too, am guilty of 478 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 2: getting nitpicky. 479 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,040 Speaker 1: But yeah, I know, we can I know, I can 480 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 1: get about that. I can get I'll bust. 481 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:44,560 Speaker 2: I'll bust my bust myself. As you know, well, those 482 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,760 Speaker 2: longtime listeners will know that I've spent quite a bit 483 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:53,480 Speaker 2: of time away from home and when I come home, 484 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 2: I have been guilty of being nitpicky about how the 485 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,880 Speaker 2: state of the house yeap, or what's not done and 486 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:08,640 Speaker 2: that's taking me years to get with and to not 487 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,240 Speaker 2: do it yeah, and just to go no, it's okay, 488 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:16,280 Speaker 2: everything is okay, and to not pick the crap out 489 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 2: of stuff. 490 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 491 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,280 Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, and I think there's yeah, I think 492 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,720 Speaker 3: there's usually definitely an underlying issue that's going on, Like 493 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:31,760 Speaker 3: if you're feeling overwhelmed and out of control, if I'm 494 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,000 Speaker 3: if I'm feeling overwhelmed and out of control with stuff, 495 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:36,199 Speaker 3: then you try to control. 496 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 1: I try to control something. So it might be like, oh, 497 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,480 Speaker 1: don't do it like that, do it like this? 498 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 3: Or why did you buy pink Lady apples instead of 499 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 3: jazz when you know the jazz are the best apples 500 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 3: right now? 501 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:53,240 Speaker 2: To you, to you, I still stand by the pink Ladies. 502 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 1: No, they're not at the moment, they're not They're soft 503 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 1: right now. This is important. 504 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,160 Speaker 2: This is This is also what happens if I haven't 505 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 2: if I'm missed out on a job that I've wanted, 506 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 2: an auditioned hard for it or something, what's the first 507 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 2: thing that I do after I have not had the 508 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,400 Speaker 2: control over that outcome. What do you think that I do? 509 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:20,479 Speaker 1: Ah, I don't know. 510 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,240 Speaker 2: Come on, this is this is the game show question. 511 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 1: This is the well I know, I know sometimes you 512 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 1: come home and you get mad at the kids. That 513 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:28,360 Speaker 1: was something you used to do. 514 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 2: Well, that's awful. Yeah, guilty of that occasionally, hopefully not 515 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:32,720 Speaker 2: too often. 516 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:38,120 Speaker 1: Oh you go and clip the bushes? Correct, yes, yes, 517 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 1: you go outside with the pruning cheers. I just had 518 00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: the whole visual and I'm like that tree. 519 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 2: That's true. 520 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:56,520 Speaker 1: Another one is, I know we've been so busy lately 521 00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,560 Speaker 1: and haven't made time for us. Let's plan qual time 522 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: this week. 523 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:02,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a beauty. 524 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: It's a ripper. 525 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,480 Speaker 2: We should do that plan some quperty time this week. 526 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,040 Speaker 1: I know we are well after this, we're going out 527 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 1: for lunch, remember we are. 528 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:18,240 Speaker 2: We are all right. As a couple's therapist, Oh this 529 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,440 Speaker 2: is someone I'm just going I'm reading a head Yeah, no, 530 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,320 Speaker 2: go ahead, Okay, so as a couple's therapist, but you 531 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,000 Speaker 2: are not so another am I? So this has come 532 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,880 Speaker 2: out of where? Yeah? 533 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:32,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is an actual therapist who's posted this. 534 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:37,560 Speaker 2: Okay, so a therapist posted this as a couple's therapist. 535 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:43,520 Speaker 2: I noticed seven patterns in couples who made it the 536 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,560 Speaker 2: first pattern, so this is positive. They had boundaries with family, 537 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 2: they're good friends, Okay, they've been through really dark times. 538 00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:01,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think that's how obviously, how you come 539 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:01,720 Speaker 3: out of it. 540 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 1: You know, there's more to it than that, obviously. But yeah, 541 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:07,520 Speaker 1: they let each other be themselves. 542 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:12,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's that's a really important one. They had 543 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:16,240 Speaker 2: difficult conversations. Yep, I reckon, We've been through some questions 544 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 2: here that might create some difficult conversations. 545 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,480 Speaker 1: Do you think between us? 546 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 2: No, No, No, pretty good at it. I think we're 547 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:28,600 Speaker 2: actually pretty good at it. Yeah, but there's always difficult conversations. 548 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 2: That's the thing I'm understanding more about these days, that 549 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:36,000 Speaker 2: that we there's always some kind of crap to go through. 550 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,640 Speaker 2: Even when things are going really great, there's still there's 551 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 2: still crap. There's always going to be crap. Yeah, So 552 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 2: it's just like just accept it and go, yeah, oh 553 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,000 Speaker 2: this is what I'm dealing with today. Yeah, Other than 554 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,920 Speaker 2: instead of saying oh why me, or why this again? 555 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 2: Or why it's like no, this is here to teach us. 556 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:59,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, difficult conversation and One of the patterns in couples 557 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 1: who may it is also that they fight, which you 558 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,760 Speaker 1: kind of go, await what, But she says, they get 559 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:10,200 Speaker 1: on each other's nerves. They fight, they're frustrated with each 560 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:14,680 Speaker 1: other at times, but they know how to navigate conflict 561 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 1: and they bounce back and move forward. And that is 562 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: so true. I think that there's a big difference between 563 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,840 Speaker 1: when people say we never never, never fight, which is which. 564 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,080 Speaker 1: And there's a lot of couples that don't and it's 565 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,040 Speaker 1: awesome and they get on like a house on fire. 566 00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 1: But there's the couples that don't fight because they don't 567 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,719 Speaker 1: address things that doesn't you know, all that stuff that 568 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:41,040 Speaker 1: gets swept under the carpet, or they fight and they 569 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,000 Speaker 1: fight ugly and it's nastya. 570 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:48,800 Speaker 2: The seventh one, the seventh pattern is they made light 571 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 2: of each other's quirks. 572 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 1: We excel at that. 573 00:32:55,440 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 2: Evidently a bit I'm a bit flowery, I'm a bit. 574 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 1: Loopy feet, fluffy fee darling. 575 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:08,320 Speaker 2: Flowering, either of them. They all smell good. Hey, just 576 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:13,680 Speaker 2: before we go. Something that I found it was a 577 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 2: list from the Cleveland Academy of Medicine, and it was 578 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,400 Speaker 2: written in the nineteen thirties, and it was about mental 579 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 2: health rules thirty nineteen thirties. So that's almost creeping up 580 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,120 Speaker 2: to one hundred years ago. And we think we've evolved, 581 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 2: we think we've moved on, but these mental health rules 582 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 2: written in the nineteen thirties are still very similar to now. 583 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 2: Of course they are. So the first one, have a hobby, 584 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,800 Speaker 2: share your thoughts, face your fears. And the one that 585 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,960 Speaker 2: I love, which is the last one, is trust in time, 586 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 2: be patient and hopeful. Time is a great therapist. 587 00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 1: That's beautiful. They were smart back there. 588 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 2: Smart back then, smart now. Yeah, and you're smart for 589 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:04,480 Speaker 2: listening to separate bathrooms. 590 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:11,359 Speaker 1: Oh look, there's been some gems in there someway, even 591 00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,839 Speaker 1: if it's just one of those questions that might sort 592 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,239 Speaker 1: of create a little spark for you at home with 593 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 1: you know, your partner, your child, your best friend, your mum, whoever. 594 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,200 Speaker 1: But I think that there's some rippers in this. I 595 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,040 Speaker 1: hopefully you've gleaned something from it. 596 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,680 Speaker 2: I'm keeping the list. Yeah, ready to go, go have 597 00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:30,719 Speaker 2: some lunch. We'll ask each other three questions. You can 598 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:34,800 Speaker 2: ask you three questions from all the questions we lunch. 599 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:35,680 Speaker 1: Okay, great. 600 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,200 Speaker 2: I love spending time with you. 601 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:38,520 Speaker 1: Oh thanks. 602 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,560 Speaker 2: I love having these conversations. They're really fun. They have fun. 603 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,640 Speaker 2: We'll catch up with you next time our separate bathrooms. 604 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:45,520 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.