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Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy

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Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment and

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Speaker 1: encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic

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Speaker 1: version of yourself. We help you shed the shame, grow

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Speaker 1: to a new level. We're gonna laugh and cry and

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Speaker 1: talk about the topics everyone else is too afraid to

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Speaker 1: talk about. Get ready for your next level of self.

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Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to She Rises. I am like

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Speaker 1: groooning ear to ear because my husband's here. Finally, finally,

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Speaker 1: Welcome Babe to the podcank you. We're very different personalities

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Speaker 1: in the sense that I'm I mean, I think I'm ambervert,

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Speaker 1: but he's very introverted. He's very private. So ambervert is

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Speaker 1: almost introverted and extroverted put together.

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Speaker 2: It's underside what you are.

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Speaker 1: No it's in the right environments, I can be extroverted,

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Speaker 1: and in the wrong environments, I'll be really introverted. He's

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Speaker 1: not a true extrovert, is just extroverted no matter what.

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Speaker 1: I'm adaptable depending on who I'm with. It's around you,

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Speaker 1: around Tiana, around my kids, super extroverted, but around like

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Speaker 1: crowded places now and new people will kind of soften

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Speaker 1: and go a bit more introverted.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I'm definitely more introverted, but yeah, there has

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Speaker 2: been moments where I can be.

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Speaker 1: When I first met you were actually more extroverted. But

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Speaker 1: now Steve's more like people, are you guys still together?

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Speaker 1: I never see him on camera. He's just very private.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't like sharing a lot. You don't love the camera,

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Speaker 1: more introverted, whereas I'm definitely the opposite. So for you

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Speaker 1: to be here today, I'm so grateful because I know

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Speaker 1: this is like a bit edgy for you to talk

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Speaker 1: about lots of different things.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm happy to be here.

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Speaker 1: So I'm going to start off nice and light. But

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Speaker 1: we just celebrated seventeen years together. That is wild.

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Speaker 2: Go go us hi fi.

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Speaker 1: Seventeen years. That's a long time, babe. Like literally my

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Speaker 1: whole twenties, nearly my whole thirties has been spent with you.

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Speaker 2: The first years are quite blurry, like it's been that long.

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Speaker 1: I feel like they were almost traumatic though, like we

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Speaker 1: were just so young, and speaking from myself, you helped

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Speaker 1: me so much, but I was just so lost, so

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Speaker 1: broken going through a lot with my family. I know

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Speaker 1: what I was doing, who I was, what I wanted

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Speaker 1: to do with my life. I had so many like limiting

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Speaker 1: beliefs about just.

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Speaker 2: Being Also, you're only nineteen. Yeah, I was amazed at

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Speaker 2: such a young age to get in a serious flay,

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Speaker 2: for sure.

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Speaker 1: But just to compare there to now, it's just like, Wow,

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Speaker 1: we've come so far. I have gone through so much together,

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Speaker 1: so much, learned so much. I'm so proud of us. Like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: a rut and obviously not everyone knows all about ins

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Speaker 1: and outs. But when we sit and reflect on our journey,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, holy fuck, we have done so well. Really

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Speaker 1: proud of us. But let's start off nice and light.

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Speaker 1: If you were to think of just one memory right

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Speaker 1: now that's kind of standing out for our journey of

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Speaker 1: the seventeen he's been together, is there one that prominently

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Speaker 1: stands forward, like when we got married, or we had kids,

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Speaker 1: or a certain holiday.

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Speaker 2: I think the most connecting was the last pregnancy, because

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Speaker 2: we really nailed that whole pregnancy as far as connecting,

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Speaker 2: And the biggest moment was obviously Tyler. When Tyler came

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Speaker 2: into this world and that it's a girl. You know

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Speaker 2: that that moment amongst the craziness of birth. Felt really

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Speaker 2: connected to you and it was awesome.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I felt like for me too, that was so beautiful.

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Speaker 1: I felt like, fuck, we're such a solid team, and

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Speaker 1: I just felt so held and supported and loved by

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Speaker 1: you throughout that whole thing. It was just I felt

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Speaker 1: like it was almost a new beginning and a new

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Speaker 1: chapter for us. But I felt so complete.

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Speaker 2: She brought so much to us.

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Speaker 1: She really did. Yeah, and she continues to. But you

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Speaker 1: know when people say, like, oh, you're not sure if

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Speaker 1: you want more kids, There's definitely been moments where I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: do I want another kid? But I felt like when

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Speaker 1: she came along and it was just the four of us,

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Speaker 1: we adapted to the being a family of four. I've

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Speaker 1: just felt so complete, like nothing's missing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, would you go a third though?

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. Well, you've got the snip now, babe.

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Speaker 1: So chance we're talking about this last night. It's so funny.

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Speaker 1: It's probably a slight chance, but okay, So that's been

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Speaker 1: one of the best times. What would you say? Has

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Speaker 1: been one of our hardest times as a.

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Speaker 2: Couple in the relationship. It's definitely been my drinking. It's

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Speaker 2: caused a lot of, I guess trust issues because you

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Speaker 2: withheld and just the drinking is very triggering in general,

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Speaker 2: no one likes the person they are when they're drunk.

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Speaker 2: But you know, it didn't serve our relationship at all.

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Speaker 2: But happy to say, you know, we haven't had a

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Speaker 2: drink for a really a year, really a year, and

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Speaker 2: it's definitely plays its part in our why we're so

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Speaker 2: awesome now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, I'd say, like we always talk about this,

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Speaker 1: but we're better now than we ever have been.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just so hard with alcohol because I'm sure

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Speaker 2: I can speak for many blokes, but it's such a

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Speaker 2: cultural thing growing up. You know, it starts from a

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Speaker 2: very young.

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Speaker 1: Age, so socially accepted.

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Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, and it just becomes ingrained in everything you do,

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Speaker 2: whether it's socially connecting or taking the edge off stress

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Speaker 2: or you know, all those things, and.

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Speaker 1: Even nerves being in a group environment or a wedding

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Speaker 1: or something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all of it. And I definitely use it in

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Speaker 2: all those situations. And but yeah, it's been awesome since

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Speaker 2: I haven't. Like, it took a while to uncouple that

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Speaker 2: from my conditioning. Conditioning, Yeah, but once I've gone through it.

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Speaker 2: I really don't need it.

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Speaker 1: It's so cool to have the evidence of how much

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Speaker 1: fun we have, how much deeper our connection is. And

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Speaker 1: I think especially for a female to me growing up

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Speaker 1: with an abusive alcoholic step father, and then any flights

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Speaker 1: we would have, it would be around alcohol always. I think,

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Speaker 1: just my level of safety and trust in men this

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Speaker 1: last year, like I've just never felt more safer, more trusting,

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Speaker 1: more open, more feminine, more excited, more alive. Like it's

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Speaker 1: just literally changed the game for me. And I was

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Speaker 1: happy before with you, but like, I don't think I've

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Speaker 1: ever been as happy as what I am now.

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Speaker 2: Now we talk about there was one moment that was

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Speaker 2: the really big moment for us was when we had

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Speaker 2: our coach. I think it was Brian re time, and

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Speaker 2: we've gone through lots of coaching with him and it

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Speaker 2: was mainly about drinking. And he always said to us

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Speaker 2: that you know, drinking is going to be the thing

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Speaker 2: that breaks you guys.

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Speaker 1: Up, a break up it because of our cool and I.

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Speaker 2: Remember we went back to him for one stage and

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Speaker 2: we had a big event that happened. I can't remember

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Speaker 2: exactly what. Better was something around drinking and he gave

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Speaker 2: us the recommendation to split. He did, and somehow we

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Speaker 2: turned it around. That was massive.

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Speaker 1: There's a huge moment for a coach that had coached

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Speaker 1: us for I think close to three years, and we

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Speaker 1: had gone leaps and bounds. But yeah, we got to

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Speaker 1: this point where there was another incident where you had drank.

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Speaker 2: I think it was drinking, not be truthful about it all.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and how much.

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Speaker 2: Those lines?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And he said, I just think this is the

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Speaker 1: end of the road for you guys. And I think

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Speaker 1: I was at that point where I don't know if

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Speaker 1: any other people relate in relationships sometimes when you've gone

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Speaker 1: through so much, or you keep going through a cycle

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Speaker 1: of arguing about the same thing. It almost got to

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Speaker 1: a point where I was kind of numbed out from it,

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Speaker 1: and it's like my body had gone to this protective

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Speaker 1: mode of like I just don't have the energy to

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Speaker 1: fight this anymore.

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Speaker 2: How long ago was that now, that's probably seven or eight,

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Speaker 2: five to seven years ago.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, with Taji would have been young at least five

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Speaker 1: years ago. Long time ago. I think Brian could see

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Speaker 1: in my face. He was like, look at your wife,

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Speaker 1: she's done. And it's almost like once a woman gets

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Speaker 1: to that point where then down and they don't care anymore.

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Speaker 2: So I changed too far. So what did you say?

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Speaker 1: I think for me it was you could always own

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Speaker 1: it and say sorry, and we could talk things out.

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Speaker 1: But it got to the point where like your words

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Speaker 1: didn't penetrate me anymore when I would hear the words sorry.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, actions speak louder than way.

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Speaker 1: I needed actual change. So when that incident happened and

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Speaker 1: Brian said that, we kind of got off the call

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Speaker 1: and we're like, holy fuck, I don't even know what

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Speaker 1: to do. And I think we just left it for

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Speaker 1: a bit. And then you joined a group called Brotherhood,

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Speaker 1: and you were going there like three four times a week,

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Speaker 1: and you did training and breath work and had buddies

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Speaker 1: and you spoke about your problems and you just took

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Speaker 1: a lot of action. You got one on one coaching,

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Speaker 1: We had a beautiful therapist that we were seeing together separately.

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Speaker 1: You were just doing the work. You were actively showing

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Speaker 1: me that you wanted to change for yourself, for me,

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Speaker 1: for our family. And I think if you didn't take

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Speaker 1: that action, I probably would have left. YEP, I was done.

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Speaker 1: If you were just going to say the words again,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I could have gone. I tried again.

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Speaker 2: So, what was your hardest moment that or.

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Speaker 1: The hardest moments for us have been around alcohol?

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Speaker 2: It?

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Speaker 1: You know, there was times where when Taji was little,

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Speaker 1: and you would have a big night and not be

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Speaker 1: able to show up as a dad the next day,

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Speaker 1: or you would be sleeping in or you couldn't hold

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Speaker 1: me emotionally, and I was going through stuff, you know,

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Speaker 1: online or on my own stuff, and just felt like

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Speaker 1: we weren't united and you couldn't hold there and be

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Speaker 1: there for me the way that I needed you to be.

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Speaker 1: I felt like alcohol always just kind of came. It

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Speaker 1: was like this invisible wet It wasn't invisible. It's like

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Speaker 1: a wedge between us.

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Speaker 2: It's funny looking back now because once you're breaking that,

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Speaker 2: like I've broken that hold of alcohol, Like it has

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Speaker 2: no hold on me whatsoever anymore. How silly I felt

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Speaker 2: like looking back on it because like to put all

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Speaker 2: those moments into our relationship, and I just looked back

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Speaker 2: at it with a different perspective.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's interesting too, like younger me now would

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Speaker 1: do things so differently. But I felt like I always

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Speaker 1: tried to make alcohol work in our relationship and there's

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Speaker 1: times where it's like, okay, we need to communicate. And

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Speaker 1: then when we saw a different psychologist after that event,

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Speaker 1: it was like, okay, what's the boundaries around it. We

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Speaker 1: came up with this like three drinking rule. I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that feels better because it's in control. But then still

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Speaker 1: we go to date night and Steve would have three drinks.

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Speaker 1: It was like this instant disconnection because it wasn't my husband.

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Speaker 2: Well I even felt the energy before that. Yeah, it

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Speaker 2: was always there.

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Speaker 1: I felt like if it was to have one or two,

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Speaker 1: it was going to be more.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it just never worked for us. No, in any situation.

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Speaker 1: It's like Tiana with her she's single, and you know,

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Speaker 1: a boundary for her, she won't date a man that drinks.

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Speaker 1: It's just like it doesn't align with any of her values.

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Speaker 1: I think it got to a point too where I

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Speaker 1: was just like, if you want to continue drinking. At

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Speaker 1: that point, I was like, you can you have full

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Speaker 1: free reign to go and live that life and to

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Speaker 1: do what you want to do. I just can't be

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Speaker 1: a part of it anymore. And it was like that

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Speaker 1: was kind of like an ultimatum, but it was just

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Speaker 1: honoring where I was out of what I needed. You know,

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Speaker 1: something that I've always joked about even did it honest, Q.

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Speaker 1: And a story last night is how you've kind of

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Speaker 1: married seven different women with me over seventeen years. I

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Speaker 1: can I've married maybe three different men with you. Obviously.

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Speaker 1: When we first met, as I was saying, I was

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Speaker 1: just like this broken little girl. Oh yeah, just such

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Speaker 1: a victim, so sad, so scared, not knowing where I

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Speaker 1: want to go and who I was.

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to be loved and I.

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Speaker 1: Just wanted to be loved and taken care of. And

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Speaker 1: I wanted my night shining armor to come and rescue me.

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Speaker 2: And I think from hindsight, I wanted to be that man,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: And it's yeah, you created safety in you.

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Speaker 2: That was the connection at the start in our dynamic,

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Speaker 2: in our relationship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it was beautiful because I was like, Wow,

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Speaker 1: for the first time in my life, I do feel

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Speaker 1: so held supported. You believed in me before I ever did,

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Speaker 1: and that's something that's always stuck with me too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think in hindsight too, I was still trying

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Speaker 2: to find my way as well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're only young too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, youngish, young girl.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was twenty.

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Speaker 2: Nine years old, still a little boy at heart.

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Speaker 1: So nineteen was when we met, and then like my

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Speaker 1: early twenties to my mid twenties, to my late twenties,

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Speaker 1: to having children, to having a second child, to even

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Speaker 1: this last twelve months, Like I feel like I'm a

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Speaker 1: completely different person now to who I was twelve months ago.

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Speaker 1: So how was that for you as my husband? Witnessing feeling,

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Speaker 1: watching evolving with me? Like that must be a wild ride?

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Speaker 2: Wild ride, yeah, and also challenging at times, because I

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Speaker 2: think the biggest times when we've been disconnected is when

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Speaker 2: we've been unaligned in our journey. So whether it's work

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Speaker 2: phase or growth phase or spiritual like all these different

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Speaker 2: level ups and constantly trying to pull each other up

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Speaker 2: to meet each other, They've been the most challenging sometimes,

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Speaker 2: Like I've just been an absolute stressy, work focused, you know,

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Speaker 2: not vibeing, almost low vibe, and you've been a high vibe.

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Speaker 2: And that's really challenging because it either brings one person

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Speaker 2: down or in the best case, you try to lift

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Speaker 2: the other person up. And sometimes we're really both really

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Speaker 2: good at that bringing each other up, but sometimes there's

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Speaker 2: a clarity there that you just can't fix or it

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Speaker 2: does cause conflict.

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Speaker 1: I think these days, though, it's like we learned it off.

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Speaker 1: Brene Brown and I've spoken about it too. But like

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Speaker 1: there's some days where it's like we check in and

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Speaker 1: you're like, I have nothing left on the out of ten, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: one out of ten, and I'm like, go sit down,

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Speaker 1: I'll cook dinner, I'll bother the kids, whatever. And then

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Speaker 1: there's other days when I'm like, fuck, babe, I'm tapped out.

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Speaker 1: You're like, go have a sauna. Yeah, go to your room.

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Speaker 1: Like last night, You're like, go have a nap, Babe, Like,

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Speaker 1: go chill. I've got the kids. So I think we're

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Speaker 1: better at communicating and reading the room with each other

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Speaker 1: and supporting each other. But if both are down, then

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Speaker 1: it gets hard.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. But when you're both vibe and which is always

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Speaker 2: the goal of epic, you know, that's when we're at

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Speaker 2: our best, you know, not looking at in our best times.

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Speaker 2: We're both just high vibe, supporting each other. Both have

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Speaker 2: our own thing going on as well, and we bring

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Speaker 2: it together. We work really well together as well. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think lately we're sort of more doing our own thing.

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Speaker 2: You know, we're still involved in our own whether it's

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Speaker 2: hied Away or other things, but we also have our

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Speaker 2: own passions as well, which.

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Speaker 1: Is really cool. Let's talk about the last twelve months,

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Speaker 1: because a lot has happened. I got diagnosed with my

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Speaker 1: brain aneurysms. I decided to close Baseline way more and

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Speaker 1: she rises, we're looking at pulling a little bit more

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Speaker 1: out of Hideaway as the most recent discussion. How's the

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Speaker 1: last twelve months been for you? Because for me, it's

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Speaker 1: been a fucking whirl wind. I'm like, holy shit, a

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Speaker 1: lot changed.

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Speaker 2: When you're in it, it's been a well wind and

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Speaker 2: crazy and roller coaster. But looking back on it, it's

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Speaker 2: been the best twelve months. You know. Yeah, I'm big

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Speaker 2: on universe happens for you not too and you can

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Speaker 2: really see looking back how everything's perfect and how it's

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Speaker 2: unfolded the way it has. But when you're in it,

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Speaker 2: you're holding on for dear life and you're trying to

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Speaker 2: trust and you're going through the motions of this is

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Speaker 2: all going to work out for the best, and it has, so,

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Speaker 2: you know, looking back now, I have really positive.

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Speaker 1: Something we always remind each other, I feel like if

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Speaker 1: one person forgets, we're always good at reminding each other.

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Speaker 1: And Gabby Burnsing's really helped us with this. It's just

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Speaker 1: like when we're in the thick of something as one

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Speaker 1: and will minded go like, we know this is happening

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Speaker 1: for a reason, we just have to literally surrender here.

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Speaker 2: It's also it will pass, you know, yeah, we pass.

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Speaker 1: We'll say to each other, I don't know why this

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Speaker 1: is happening right now, yeah, but we're going to look

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Speaker 1: back and go that's why that happened. It needed to happen.

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Speaker 2: I think the hardest thing for me is the friendship

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Speaker 2: breakdowns because I guess we've always from the very start

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Speaker 2: of our journey on social media. We're one of the

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Speaker 2: first ones in social media, and you know, you've got

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Speaker 2: a really big following really quick at the start. But

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Speaker 2: we learned some big lessons how we erected at the start,

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Speaker 2: and one of our things is to be not put

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Speaker 2: fuel on the fire. It doesn't serve anyone, doesn't serve us.

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Speaker 2: And we've learned that pretty quickly at the start. So

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Speaker 2: when the friendship breakdown and I saw, you know, there

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Speaker 2: was a few cases there where things were thrown at

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Speaker 2: you and sometimes untrue, sometimes uncalled for, sometimes an overreaction

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Speaker 2: to something. And it's been really hard to sit there

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Speaker 2: and watch you got that because I know the real

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Speaker 2: story and the truth behind the scenes, and because I

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Speaker 2: know you're such a lover. You know you wear your

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Speaker 2: heart and your sleep. Especially in friendships. You're one of

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Speaker 2: the best loyal friends. I know you're the first one

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Speaker 2: there for a birthday cake, You're the first one to

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Speaker 2: organize a dinner for someone's birthday, or you'll always attend

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Speaker 2: everything and be the best friend. And you can see

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Speaker 2: the people that you've drawn into your life now you

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Speaker 2: know there couldn't be an more perfect for you. And

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Speaker 2: you've come through the other side of that so much

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Speaker 2: more of appreciation for what true friendships are and.

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Speaker 1: My standards and also like solidified some of my older

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Speaker 1: friends that have just been there for me. Oh, it's

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Speaker 1: hard those in life. I feel like relationships, friendships, family

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Speaker 1: dynamics we always talk about relationships are like one of

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Speaker 1: the hardest things you have to navigate in life when

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Speaker 1: you're combining two people's different worlds and opinions and wounds

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Speaker 1: and triggers and experiences and thoughts and conditioning and it's

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Speaker 1: like it's merged them. And when you have disagreements or

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Speaker 1: things with money comes up, or big changes in life

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Speaker 1: or big life challenges that you have to navigate.

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Speaker 2: It's humans are messy creatures.

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Speaker 1: We are really and everyone's experience is really valid. It's

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Speaker 1: just going back to what you were saying. It's almost

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Speaker 1: just like we've learned a way that feels really out

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Speaker 1: of integrity, the right way to deal with things. Yes,

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Speaker 1: never cause harm to anyone online or offline. To never

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Speaker 1: exaggerate things or throw people under the bus, even if

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Speaker 1: something's our truth. Let's continue this conversation with We have

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Speaker 1: been online for yeah, seventeen years now when I first

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Speaker 1: got with Steve and he encouraged me to do my

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Speaker 1: personal training course and I started shadowing him in the

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Speaker 1: boot camps and that was our first business, thee actually

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Speaker 1: Wind's Being Anybody Challenge and it blew up and went crazy.

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Speaker 1: We had seventy five locations across Australia. That was a

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Speaker 1: really crazy busy time and we definitely made a lot

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Speaker 1: of mistakes and I felt like we were very early

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Speaker 1: days on Instagram and Facebook and stuff, and we copped

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Speaker 1: a lot of hate and there was a really dark

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Speaker 1: period for me personally, which I know it must feel

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Speaker 1: like a blur because sometimes it feel like a blur

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Speaker 1: to me too because it was probably like fifteen years ago.

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Speaker 1: But I know over I would love to hear from

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Speaker 1: you on how you felt going through it, because I've

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Speaker 1: spoken about the times where Taj was only a year old,

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Speaker 1: where I was not wanting to be here anymore. I

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Speaker 1: felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt suffocated. There was

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Speaker 1: hate pages with fifteen thousand people on there. They were

389
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Speaker 1: five women on a roster watching my snapchats. We had

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Speaker 1: a current affair sit out front of our house one

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Speaker 1: day and I was holding tars shaking like There's been

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Speaker 1: so many crazy moments over the years, and I remember

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Speaker 1: just getting to a point where I was like, I

394
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Speaker 1: can't see the light at the end of the time.

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Speaker 1: I don't think this is ever going to end unless

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Speaker 1: I end my life and then maybe they'll stop.

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Speaker 2: What do you feel the gift in it is now

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Speaker 2: that you're looking back like all that situation, answer you

399
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Speaker 2: the question what is the gift like? Because there is one.

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Speaker 1: I think there's been lots of beautiful gifts. I would

401
00:17:38,521 --> 00:17:40,321
Speaker 1: never wish this on my worst enemy, and I wish

402
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,080
Speaker 1: there was other ways I could have learned it because

403
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Speaker 1: it was really really painful and it still makes me emotional,

404
00:17:44,321 --> 00:17:55,640
Speaker 1: Like go back to that time. I think it just

405
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Speaker 1: makes me emotional because it was like we'd Taji and

406
00:17:57,801 --> 00:18:03,681
Speaker 1: it like really impacted everything then. But okay, the gifts.

407
00:18:03,721 --> 00:18:07,761
Speaker 1: I think I'm very sillient now, like I'm super super strong,

408
00:18:08,441 --> 00:18:11,641
Speaker 1: and I think I'll be well equipped to help Taj

409
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Speaker 1: and Tala if they ever experienced something like this. Even

410
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Speaker 1: now it's Tiana, like I feel like I can hold

411
00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 1: her and stuff that comes through. Maybe I had a

412
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Speaker 1: lot of compassion where people are at and understand that

413
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Speaker 1: her people hurt people and healed people, heal people, and

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Speaker 1: just to try to always come from a place of

415
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Speaker 1: understanding as to why they're doing the things they.

416
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Speaker 2: Do and never believe the media.

417
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Speaker 1: Never believe the media. It taught me a lot about

418
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Speaker 1: where I was playing victim. I took on a lot

419
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Speaker 1: of the constructive criticism and tried to see how I

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Speaker 1: can improve my communication, Can you improve not reacting? How

421
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Speaker 1: I can try and see both sides. It made me

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Speaker 1: who I am today, I.

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Speaker 2: Think too looking back. Besides all the like. There was

424
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Speaker 2: a lot of mistakes made business wise, like you know,

425
00:18:54,721 --> 00:18:57,960
Speaker 2: how quickly we pushed and scoured without doing the final

426
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Speaker 2: details and systems, And yeah, there's a lot of lessons there.

427
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,680
Speaker 2: But from a growth point of view, one of the

428
00:19:04,721 --> 00:19:06,761
Speaker 2: biggest things that we got out of because we were struggling.

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Speaker 2: That was a real heavy period and we were quite

430
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Speaker 2: inexperienced in all areas of life. But we went and

431
00:19:12,561 --> 00:19:15,001
Speaker 2: joined Tony Robbinson we had in Platinum and it was

432
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Speaker 2: the start of our personal development and we sort of

433
00:19:17,561 --> 00:19:21,200
Speaker 2: haven't stopped since. Yeah, and that really gave us a

434
00:19:21,241 --> 00:19:23,921
Speaker 2: really good jolt to get onto that train. Even though

435
00:19:23,961 --> 00:19:28,241
Speaker 2: we're you know, we're into fitness and we're positive, happy people,

436
00:19:28,321 --> 00:19:31,521
Speaker 2: but little you know, how much have we learned since

437
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:34,521
Speaker 2: then because we started that path. That's what I take

438
00:19:34,561 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 2: out of it.

439
00:19:35,201 --> 00:19:38,001
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, There's been so many tools and skills that

440
00:19:38,041 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 1: I had to learn throughout that journey that now served

441
00:19:41,241 --> 00:19:43,561
Speaker 1: me in my life. Now. I wouldn't be who I

442
00:19:43,561 --> 00:19:45,720
Speaker 1: am today without all of that because it forced me

443
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 1: to look with it, and it forced me to do

444
00:19:47,321 --> 00:19:49,561
Speaker 1: the work, forced me to take care of myself, not

445
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,241
Speaker 1: just physically, but my nervous system. There's been lots of

446
00:19:52,281 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 1: gifts in that. But back to the question on you,

447
00:19:55,801 --> 00:19:58,960
Speaker 1: how was that as a husband watching the person that

448
00:19:59,001 --> 00:20:01,680
Speaker 1: you love the most, the mother of your son, watching

449
00:20:01,681 --> 00:20:05,200
Speaker 1: me day in day out, like contemplating whether I'm you

450
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:05,721
Speaker 1: being here?

451
00:20:06,281 --> 00:20:09,281
Speaker 2: Oh, it was so hard and words can't describe how

452
00:20:09,961 --> 00:20:12,121
Speaker 2: of a tough situation it was. And I felt really

453
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:15,281
Speaker 2: helpless because there was a lot of external forces. I

454
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 2: also felt a little bit responsible too, because I was

455
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,680
Speaker 2: running the businesses and so on as well some of

456
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,201
Speaker 2: the mistakes that were made, et cetera. But I felt

457
00:20:24,281 --> 00:20:27,641
Speaker 2: really helpless would probably be the word. Never experienced anything like.

458
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 1: That before, learning as well and trying to be a

459
00:20:29,721 --> 00:20:30,841
Speaker 1: new dad all of it.

460
00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:33,321
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a big period of our life.

461
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:36,441
Speaker 1: And how you supported me back then compared to like, say,

462
00:20:36,481 --> 00:20:39,241
Speaker 1: how you supported me last year going through something online,

463
00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:41,360
Speaker 1: how do you feel as different? What do you do

464
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:42,641
Speaker 1: now that you didn't do back all?

465
00:20:42,721 --> 00:20:47,161
Speaker 2: The question totally different. But I'm definitely a lot better

466
00:20:47,201 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 2: at holding space for you, like disallowing it to be,

467
00:20:50,201 --> 00:20:52,321
Speaker 2: like not trying to fix it as much, which is

468
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,921
Speaker 2: you know something that has been learned being a masculine man,

469
00:20:57,281 --> 00:21:00,920
Speaker 2: we have that pool to want to fix and sometimes

470
00:21:01,201 --> 00:21:04,281
Speaker 2: really it's just about letting those emotions play out and

471
00:21:04,801 --> 00:21:07,201
Speaker 2: you know, create a space for you to feel that,

472
00:21:07,321 --> 00:21:11,401
Speaker 2: whether that's taking the stress away from experience certain things,

473
00:21:11,481 --> 00:21:13,880
Speaker 2: giving you some time I know exactly what you need

474
00:21:13,921 --> 00:21:15,801
Speaker 2: to fill your cup up, you know, whether it's a

475
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,880
Speaker 2: stay cave with the girls, or a dinner with me,

476
00:21:18,201 --> 00:21:20,561
Speaker 2: or simple as a mess, I know, the little things.

477
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,321
Speaker 2: But but just giving you that time to feel it

478
00:21:23,321 --> 00:21:26,001
Speaker 2: all and want it's you. You really good at doing that,

479
00:21:26,241 --> 00:21:29,160
Speaker 2: allowing that time to feel it. And I feel like

480
00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:33,001
Speaker 2: these days it's a lot quicker process of getting back

481
00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:33,521
Speaker 2: on your feet.

482
00:21:33,681 --> 00:21:33,880
Speaker 1: You know.

483
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 2: It's not that there's challenges, aren't there, but you have

484
00:21:36,721 --> 00:21:39,281
Speaker 2: your toolkit and you go through it and I sort

485
00:21:39,281 --> 00:21:40,041
Speaker 2: of plug into that.

486
00:21:40,561 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, And back then we were first learning, Like I

487
00:21:42,521 --> 00:21:44,640
Speaker 1: remember the point where you booked Alexi and Presston. It

488
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:47,160
Speaker 1: was like fifty grand or something. It didn't even hesitate

489
00:21:47,281 --> 00:21:48,681
Speaker 1: because I was at the point where I'm like I'm

490
00:21:48,721 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 1: actually fucking done.

491
00:21:49,761 --> 00:21:50,401
Speaker 2: Yeah, on the.

492
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:53,160
Speaker 1: Floor, like in a ball, just crying and screaming, and

493
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,480
Speaker 1: you got them on a phone call and that was

494
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:57,081
Speaker 1: like such a big moment for me having both them

495
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 1: hold me. So it's like when you didn't know how

496
00:21:58,761 --> 00:22:01,440
Speaker 1: to support, you got help, whereas yeah, these days, I agree,

497
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:04,360
Speaker 1: it definitely can see things from a different perspective. And

498
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,961
Speaker 1: I know it's not the end, and I trust that

499
00:22:05,961 --> 00:22:09,440
Speaker 1: everything's happening for a reason. But I think anyone listening

500
00:22:09,441 --> 00:22:11,640
Speaker 1: and any husband's listening to what you said about just

501
00:22:11,681 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 1: holding space. Like I remember last year when I was

502
00:22:13,481 --> 00:22:15,880
Speaker 1: going through the friendship stuff, like I would literally just

503
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 1: sit on the couch at night, get to the end

504
00:22:17,481 --> 00:22:19,041
Speaker 1: of the day when I'm done being busy and I'm

505
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:22,321
Speaker 1: done being a parent and everything stops and slows down,

506
00:22:22,321 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 1: I would just cry and cry and cry and cry,

507
00:22:26,321 --> 00:22:28,281
Speaker 1: and just having you hold me and remind me that

508
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,561
Speaker 1: I'm okay and that everything's going to be okay, and

509
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 1: just like just let me get rid of that energy

510
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,001
Speaker 1: out of my body that speeds it up for me,

511
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,801
Speaker 1: and just I think it's really important to just feel it,

512
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,521
Speaker 1: because I think I used to try and keep busy

513
00:22:40,561 --> 00:22:42,241
Speaker 1: and suppress it and tell myself okay, and I got

514
00:22:42,281 --> 00:22:43,521
Speaker 1: to show up online. I don't want them to know

515
00:22:43,521 --> 00:22:48,921
Speaker 1: that it's bothering me all that. Yeah, that true. So, yeah,

516
00:22:48,921 --> 00:22:51,881
Speaker 1: it's really beautiful. How we navigate that kind of stuff now.

517
00:22:51,921 --> 00:22:54,081
Speaker 1: And you know what, like, when you put yourself out

518
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 1: there online, you are opening yourself up to a lot

519
00:22:56,001 --> 00:22:58,241
Speaker 1: of criticism and judgment and opinions on what you're doing

520
00:22:58,321 --> 00:23:00,241
Speaker 1: is wrong and right and all the things. And you

521
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,961
Speaker 1: got to be able to hold it. Anyone with a

522
00:23:02,961 --> 00:23:06,001
Speaker 1: big following is going to have that, and it's not

523
00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:07,960
Speaker 1: for the faint hearted, but I think over time you

524
00:23:08,001 --> 00:23:11,281
Speaker 1: get better at holding it, which is cool. Let's move

525
00:23:11,321 --> 00:23:13,481
Speaker 1: on that switch lanes with its kind of the last

526
00:23:13,481 --> 00:23:17,001
Speaker 1: twelve months too. But I have had two brain aneurysms,

527
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,441
Speaker 1: and it's crazy because you have actually had a brain aurism.

528
00:23:19,561 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 1: So we now have to get our children tested from

529
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,161
Speaker 1: twelve years old because it's highly likely they will also

530
00:23:25,201 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: be developing brain aneurysms, which is scary. But they've all

531
00:23:28,761 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: heard about my brain aneurism journey, and I've briefly said

532
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,321
Speaker 1: about yours. Yours was ten times more hectic than mine.

533
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,400
Speaker 1: So was it age nine or ten when they found yours?

534
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,401
Speaker 1: And how did they find it?

535
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:42,360
Speaker 2: Yeah? So middle of high school I started fainting school

536
00:23:42,441 --> 00:23:45,961
Speaker 2: football fields, that sort of stuff, having seizures a lot,

537
00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:49,321
Speaker 2: and like physical fits and stuff. But I'd have these

538
00:23:49,561 --> 00:23:52,561
Speaker 2: like I blackout, so I'd call it so I'd lose

539
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,721
Speaker 2: my sight after my last one on old face first

540
00:23:55,721 --> 00:23:58,321
Speaker 2: and knocked all my teeth out, got rushed to hospital,

541
00:23:58,321 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 2: et cetera. And then they did the skin and it

542
00:24:00,761 --> 00:24:02,801
Speaker 2: was actually a size of a golf ball, like a

543
00:24:02,961 --> 00:24:06,721
Speaker 2: It's called an ABM, which is a tier of ascular massification. Anyways,

544
00:24:06,721 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 2: it's like all blood vessels, all sort of some.

545
00:24:09,241 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: Mini aneurysms coming together as one.

546
00:24:10,921 --> 00:24:13,801
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it's matted into a ball. So your one

547
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,721
Speaker 2: was one vessel. One was like a collection I guess,

548
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 2: matted into a golf ball. It was a little bit

549
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,321
Speaker 2: too big to operate because it was right on my

550
00:24:22,441 --> 00:24:25,001
Speaker 2: eyesight side. There's a good chance I'd lose my eyesight,

551
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:28,841
Speaker 2: so right, well, yeah, there's also that as well. But

552
00:24:29,041 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 2: I held off because it wasn't quite there the technology,

553
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:32,521
Speaker 2: I don't think.

554
00:24:32,561 --> 00:24:35,001
Speaker 1: When I was your mum said no surge would operate

555
00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: on you.

556
00:24:35,321 --> 00:24:37,041
Speaker 2: And I was a bit too risky, so I had

557
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 2: to wait, and I think I waited ten years with it. Yeah,

558
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,360
Speaker 2: but it had a big effect on not being able

559
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:47,321
Speaker 2: to do football or surf or like do things that

560
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:47,761
Speaker 2: I loved.

561
00:24:48,041 --> 00:24:49,521
Speaker 1: I have to go on medication for the fit.

562
00:24:49,761 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did. I was on demands a man or

563
00:24:51,921 --> 00:24:54,881
Speaker 2: something like that. You know, technology improved and I got

564
00:24:54,921 --> 00:24:58,360
Speaker 2: my operation and that was pretty scary because I could

565
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,881
Speaker 2: have lost my sight and that operation and I had

566
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 2: to go into it knowing that, but it was a

567
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,360
Speaker 2: ticking time bomb, you know, so I had to do it.

568
00:25:05,481 --> 00:25:09,121
Speaker 2: So when you got yours, it was crazy experience because

569
00:25:09,321 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 2: you had visual stuff as well at the start, which

570
00:25:12,281 --> 00:25:15,481
Speaker 2: was what I was getting, so it was very surreal.

571
00:25:15,721 --> 00:25:19,121
Speaker 2: I also felt comfortable with how awesome our doctors were.

572
00:25:18,961 --> 00:25:21,321
Speaker 1: And how quite calm throughout all my stuff.

573
00:25:21,441 --> 00:25:24,321
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really awesome operation. Yeah, how they can

574
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 2: do the things they do.

575
00:25:25,241 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 1: These they compared to mine, Like, let's go back to yours.

576
00:25:27,721 --> 00:25:31,001
Speaker 1: So like mine, I went in. It's an hour operation.

577
00:25:31,241 --> 00:25:33,120
Speaker 1: I have twenty four hours in the ICU. Two more

578
00:25:33,201 --> 00:25:36,681
Speaker 1: night's keyhole through my wrist and I'm out of there.

579
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,241
Speaker 2: Steves, They've literally took my cap off my head.

580
00:25:40,521 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 1: His scars like from the top of his head all

581
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 1: the way down to the bottom and tell us about

582
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:45,041
Speaker 1: your recovery.

583
00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:48,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was coma. Yeah, well that was induced camera

584
00:25:48,481 --> 00:25:52,801
Speaker 2: for because obviously taking your skull off is quite intense. Yeah,

585
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,641
Speaker 2: for ages eight? Was it something like that?

586
00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:57,801
Speaker 1: When you woke up you couldn't see none.

587
00:25:57,801 --> 00:26:00,640
Speaker 2: For a while, which was the scariest bit. I guess

588
00:26:00,681 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 2: you just didn't know whether your site would come back.

589
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,401
Speaker 1: I remember you saying to me every day you would

590
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,601
Speaker 1: wake up and hope to see again, and it was like, oh,

591
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,481
Speaker 1: I can't see, I can't see. Oh my gosh, it's great,

592
00:26:08,521 --> 00:26:10,880
Speaker 1: it's great. It's blurry. It's blurry. Is that a color?

593
00:26:11,041 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 1: And every day you got like progress. But it was

594
00:26:12,721 --> 00:26:15,321
Speaker 1: about six weeks and then when you finally could see,

595
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 1: but you're in hospital for months?

596
00:26:17,801 --> 00:26:19,201
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, months?

597
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,360
Speaker 1: And how was that? That's traumatic?

598
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,281
Speaker 2: Well, the first bits of blur because you're just so

599
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,681
Speaker 2: drugged up. Then the next bit's just that recovery part.

600
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 1: And then when you came out of hospital, did you

601
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,521
Speaker 1: have to live life pretty differently?

602
00:26:29,761 --> 00:26:33,281
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wasn't really working for six months and then

603
00:26:33,761 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 2: slowly integrate back into normal.

604
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:37,001
Speaker 1: Yeah.

605
00:26:37,041 --> 00:26:38,801
Speaker 2: I have no problems with it now.

606
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,881
Speaker 1: Every now and again you get a little black out.

607
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,761
Speaker 2: Yes, so I have that little bit of epilepsy.

608
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,281
Speaker 1: Sit on the couch and o'h notice, I'll look over

609
00:26:46,321 --> 00:26:47,961
Speaker 1: and his eyes will be closing like you're good. He's

610
00:26:48,001 --> 00:26:50,521
Speaker 1: like yeah, and it'll be like twenty second blackout where

611
00:26:50,521 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 1: he just has to stay still and breathe.

612
00:26:52,201 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's from stress, Like when I'm stressed.

613
00:26:54,321 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 1: It comes on the way you explained it to me

614
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 1: was really good because I recently had I thought was

615
00:26:58,721 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 1: a mini seizure. Right. I sat up on the couch.

616
00:27:01,561 --> 00:27:04,281
Speaker 1: This is after my surgery too, and my eyes started

617
00:27:04,321 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 1: to roll back and my hand was like flickering, and

618
00:27:06,921 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 1: I remember just like I knew something was happening, but

619
00:27:09,201 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 1: I couldn't control it. And the way you explained it

620
00:27:11,801 --> 00:27:13,841
Speaker 1: was like when you're really stressed and your body's going

621
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: through so much. It's almost like a computer that has

622
00:27:15,521 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 1: a thousand tabs open and would you say the electricity.

623
00:27:19,241 --> 00:27:23,521
Speaker 2: Or the short circuit, almost like a electrical stimulation. It's

624
00:27:23,521 --> 00:27:25,521
Speaker 2: just like overload overload.

625
00:27:26,001 --> 00:27:28,041
Speaker 1: And I noticed it too. It now, if I'm really

626
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 1: stressed or I haven't had enough sleep, I'll start to

627
00:27:30,201 --> 00:27:31,481
Speaker 1: have my visuals go again.

628
00:27:31,681 --> 00:27:32,241
Speaker 2: Yeah.

629
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:33,961
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's crazy.

630
00:27:33,681 --> 00:27:37,400
Speaker 2: That we jolt to say slow down and it is breathed.

631
00:27:37,561 --> 00:27:37,801
Speaker 2: You know.

632
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,121
Speaker 1: It's just incredible that our body gives us those messages,

633
00:27:40,681 --> 00:27:43,360
Speaker 1: even me losing my sight those three times in that week.

634
00:27:43,441 --> 00:27:44,761
Speaker 1: It was like, I thought it was a tight knick

635
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,761
Speaker 1: or whatever, and then you're like, no, go to the doctor.

636
00:27:46,921 --> 00:27:47,241
Speaker 2: Yeah.

637
00:27:47,281 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: What he was saying to me like you're not okay,

638
00:27:49,521 --> 00:27:52,121
Speaker 1: And thank god I did, because anyone with the aneurysm,

639
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 1: you're literally a walking time bomb.

640
00:27:53,681 --> 00:27:55,041
Speaker 2: It's so common to you guys.

641
00:27:55,761 --> 00:27:59,761
Speaker 1: One. Yeah, it's crazy with aneurysm. And it's crazy because

642
00:27:59,761 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 1: all of my father's side have dropped dead from aneurysms

643
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 1: and you've had them.

644
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,400
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's just a lot of people don't know

645
00:28:05,921 --> 00:28:07,801
Speaker 2: they've got it until they had a stroke, you know.

646
00:28:08,001 --> 00:28:11,041
Speaker 2: So if you get symptoms, which is you had your eyes.

647
00:28:11,241 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 2: I had my eyes as well, they're great because it

648
00:28:14,201 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 2: gives you an opportunity to find it.

649
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 1: A stroke, you can survive. You can just lose like

650
00:28:18,281 --> 00:28:20,281
Speaker 1: the left side or the ability to left side. But

651
00:28:20,321 --> 00:28:22,401
Speaker 1: if it rupture, because they told me, if mine ruptures

652
00:28:22,441 --> 00:28:25,001
Speaker 1: in a shopping center, by the time an ambulance comes

653
00:28:25,041 --> 00:28:26,241
Speaker 1: and takes to the hospital, I'm gone.

654
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 2: Stroke is a rupture.

655
00:28:28,921 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: So it just depends on the size of the rupture.

656
00:28:30,961 --> 00:28:32,961
Speaker 2: Yeah, if it's a small bleed or a big bleed.

657
00:28:33,961 --> 00:28:36,041
Speaker 1: Some of them saying because my first aneurism on my

658
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:37,521
Speaker 1: right hand side, and they said, if you would have

659
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,641
Speaker 1: a stroke, you'd lose the ability to use your left

660
00:28:39,681 --> 00:28:42,041
Speaker 1: side of your body and vice versa. But they said

661
00:28:42,041 --> 00:28:43,881
Speaker 1: if it was to completely burst, I wouldn't make it.

662
00:28:44,201 --> 00:28:46,281
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's be a high flow flow.

663
00:28:46,401 --> 00:28:49,161
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so yeah, crazy, We're gonna have to get

664
00:28:49,161 --> 00:28:51,681
Speaker 1: our kids tested and like putting them through an MRI

665
00:28:52,241 --> 00:28:53,881
Speaker 1: like that just seems so scary.

666
00:28:54,161 --> 00:28:57,001
Speaker 2: Yeah, they'll be old enough though, or twelve. Oh, yes,

667
00:28:57,081 --> 00:28:57,481
Speaker 2: that's the time.

668
00:28:57,841 --> 00:28:59,161
Speaker 1: Yeah, my surgeon time. We have to get them in

669
00:28:59,161 --> 00:29:00,961
Speaker 1: at a twelve. Hopefully they kind of see. It's like

670
00:29:00,961 --> 00:29:02,561
Speaker 1: a we're going into rocket ship and it's fun. But

671
00:29:03,961 --> 00:29:08,321
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this is a deep question. Do you

672
00:29:08,401 --> 00:29:11,561
Speaker 1: love your life? If not entirely, what would you change

673
00:29:11,721 --> 00:29:15,321
Speaker 1: or adjust? Obviously you've got the best wife, so they

674
00:29:15,401 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 1: don't need to change anything. Yeah, kids, No, I.

675
00:29:19,481 --> 00:29:22,481
Speaker 2: Love my life. Yeah, you always want more of the

676
00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:27,001
Speaker 2: good things. If I could have my dreams, I'd have

677
00:29:27,841 --> 00:29:31,121
Speaker 2: my dream scenario would be all our friends and close

678
00:29:31,201 --> 00:29:34,841
Speaker 2: family brought houses on the same street and would have like,

679
00:29:35,041 --> 00:29:37,321
Speaker 2: say where we live now, that whole street and everyone's

680
00:29:37,361 --> 00:29:39,801
Speaker 2: in that and you have that community, and like, even

681
00:29:39,961 --> 00:29:42,601
Speaker 2: in our little community, we have some great neighbors and

682
00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:44,961
Speaker 2: we will get on the street and and kick a

683
00:29:45,001 --> 00:29:47,961
Speaker 2: footy or whatever. But imagine that that would be pretty

684
00:29:47,961 --> 00:29:50,001
Speaker 2: epic because I think at theer I get, the less

685
00:29:50,321 --> 00:29:54,121
Speaker 2: community I probably have around me. We've got an awesome family,

686
00:29:54,161 --> 00:29:56,721
Speaker 2: et cetera. But yeah, sort of missing that.

687
00:29:57,041 --> 00:29:59,121
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what you mean. Do you think you

688
00:29:59,161 --> 00:30:00,281
Speaker 1: would change your.

689
00:30:00,241 --> 00:30:02,801
Speaker 2: Work or are you happy with my work gets better

690
00:30:03,041 --> 00:30:05,881
Speaker 2: as I get older. I feel really loving my work

691
00:30:05,961 --> 00:30:08,681
Speaker 2: at the moment. I've gone through lots of tough periods

692
00:30:08,721 --> 00:30:10,921
Speaker 2: with it but stuck it through and I'm really proud

693
00:30:10,961 --> 00:30:13,881
Speaker 2: of where it is at the moment. Yeah, well, and

694
00:30:14,001 --> 00:30:15,201
Speaker 2: loving the journey at the moment.

695
00:30:15,321 --> 00:30:16,321
Speaker 1: Would you want more freedom?

696
00:30:16,601 --> 00:30:19,401
Speaker 2: I've got pretty good freedom, I feel, Yeah, you want

697
00:30:19,441 --> 00:30:23,041
Speaker 2: to travel more? Yeah, but that will happen. I'm on

698
00:30:23,161 --> 00:30:24,001
Speaker 2: that path, I know.

699
00:30:24,081 --> 00:30:25,801
Speaker 1: For me, I'm like, I could not do what you do.

700
00:30:25,961 --> 00:30:29,441
Speaker 1: I'm an admiration of how you hold it. The stress,

701
00:30:30,001 --> 00:30:33,321
Speaker 1: the analytical brain, the managing the team, leading the team,

702
00:30:33,481 --> 00:30:36,161
Speaker 1: the ideas, Like I just put in a pedestal with

703
00:30:36,201 --> 00:30:38,641
Speaker 1: how you're a business absolutely incredible. I could not do

704
00:30:38,801 --> 00:30:40,761
Speaker 1: what you do so my head, I'm like, oh, I

705
00:30:40,841 --> 00:30:42,561
Speaker 1: can't wait to one day maybe we sell high away

706
00:30:42,561 --> 00:30:44,001
Speaker 1: and you can just like live your life and retire.

707
00:30:44,041 --> 00:30:45,881
Speaker 1: But when I suggest that to you, you're always like,

708
00:30:46,201 --> 00:30:46,841
Speaker 1: but I don't want that.

709
00:30:47,241 --> 00:30:49,921
Speaker 2: I like that you spend so much time getting it

710
00:30:50,041 --> 00:30:52,521
Speaker 2: to a point. Everything I do is consciously trying to

711
00:30:52,561 --> 00:30:54,841
Speaker 2: build into that structure where I want it to be.

712
00:30:55,121 --> 00:30:58,281
Speaker 2: So to get it to that point and then sell it,

713
00:30:58,481 --> 00:31:01,121
Speaker 2: it's like I just got to hear. It's kind of like,

714
00:31:01,281 --> 00:31:03,601
Speaker 2: I mean, we do it in houses. You when you

715
00:31:03,681 --> 00:31:05,361
Speaker 2: want to sell it, you end up fixing all the

716
00:31:05,441 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 2: things you want to fix up, and then then you

717
00:31:07,321 --> 00:31:08,881
Speaker 2: end up selling it, but you didn't get to enjoy

718
00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:13,281
Speaker 2: the the nice, polished things that you want to do.

719
00:31:13,761 --> 00:31:16,281
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean one day, personally, i'd like to

720
00:31:16,761 --> 00:31:18,161
Speaker 2: have more freedom. But I'm on that track.

721
00:31:18,241 --> 00:31:19,401
Speaker 1: So you like where you're at.

722
00:31:19,641 --> 00:31:23,081
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a journey, not the destination, as it's really important.

723
00:31:23,161 --> 00:31:25,801
Speaker 2: I can see the path clearly, goal of what you

724
00:31:25,841 --> 00:31:27,201
Speaker 2: want it to be. Yeah, and I can see we're

725
00:31:27,241 --> 00:31:30,321
Speaker 2: on that path. So it's I think for me, suffering

726
00:31:30,441 --> 00:31:33,921
Speaker 2: or unhappiness is when you don't have progress, but you

727
00:31:34,001 --> 00:31:37,721
Speaker 2: also don't have a clear way of getting on too progress.

728
00:31:38,401 --> 00:31:40,921
Speaker 2: But when I feel really happy is when I'm progressing.

729
00:31:40,961 --> 00:31:43,161
Speaker 2: And it doesn't matter as long as you feel like

730
00:31:43,241 --> 00:31:45,841
Speaker 2: you're progressing it. I think Tony's taught us that, Yeah

731
00:31:45,881 --> 00:31:46,121
Speaker 2: he did.

732
00:31:46,201 --> 00:31:48,081
Speaker 1: You feel dead inside if you're not making progress.

733
00:31:47,801 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 2: Progress and progress equals happiness. Yeah, So as long as

734
00:31:51,201 --> 00:31:53,801
Speaker 2: I'm on that progress strain, I'm happy. And one thing

735
00:31:53,841 --> 00:31:56,481
Speaker 2: I found for myself, like if I have too much

736
00:31:56,841 --> 00:32:00,401
Speaker 2: free time, too much like no purpose, I tend to

737
00:32:00,441 --> 00:32:02,241
Speaker 2: go off the rails a little bit. You know. I

738
00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:04,121
Speaker 2: think I need that in my life.

739
00:32:04,321 --> 00:32:07,161
Speaker 1: Some thing of just needing a purpose and drive.

740
00:32:07,761 --> 00:32:09,881
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I can only speak for myself. What do

741
00:32:09,961 --> 00:32:10,241
Speaker 2: you think?

742
00:32:10,401 --> 00:32:12,401
Speaker 1: I think it's ingrained and men to want to have purpose,

743
00:32:12,441 --> 00:32:14,081
Speaker 1: and you have that drive to want to provide and

744
00:32:14,161 --> 00:32:16,521
Speaker 1: protect and have something to get outside of your A.

745
00:32:16,521 --> 00:32:19,121
Speaker 2: Pretty hustle, bustle, purpose driven girl.

746
00:32:19,801 --> 00:32:23,001
Speaker 1: I feel I have had to be that since I

747
00:32:23,121 --> 00:32:25,281
Speaker 1: was young, to kind of take care of myself and

748
00:32:25,561 --> 00:32:27,961
Speaker 1: being out a home quite young and out of fear

749
00:32:28,121 --> 00:32:32,281
Speaker 1: and distrust in masculine men. But now my hustle feels different.

750
00:32:32,401 --> 00:32:34,361
Speaker 1: There's definitely goals, for sure, but I feel like I've

751
00:32:34,361 --> 00:32:36,801
Speaker 1: got this beautiful balance of the feminine masculine energy within

752
00:32:36,841 --> 00:32:39,121
Speaker 1: my business where it's there's goals and things you want

753
00:32:39,121 --> 00:32:41,441
Speaker 1: to achieve, but it's very heart led and it's still

754
00:32:41,481 --> 00:32:44,441
Speaker 1: got flow and there's still freedom, and there's like there's

755
00:32:44,481 --> 00:32:45,041
Speaker 1: no pressure.

756
00:32:45,241 --> 00:32:46,161
Speaker 2: She's a lifestyle.

757
00:32:46,521 --> 00:32:50,801
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's born and it keeps flourishing through passion.

758
00:32:51,441 --> 00:32:55,681
Speaker 1: It's not like Baseline felt, you know, it's just really different. So, yeah,

759
00:32:55,681 --> 00:32:57,321
Speaker 1: that hustle girls always in me, and I love that

760
00:32:57,481 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: part of myself and that drive, but it's to make

761
00:32:59,841 --> 00:33:03,041
Speaker 1: impact and that feels really cool. But I've got flow

762
00:33:03,081 --> 00:33:05,121
Speaker 1: and freedom in there too, because I'm a sagy and

763
00:33:05,161 --> 00:33:08,681
Speaker 1: we love freedom. Also, a very common question that I

764
00:33:08,721 --> 00:33:10,121
Speaker 1: always get asked, and I don't really know how to

765
00:33:10,161 --> 00:33:12,321
Speaker 1: explain it, like what is your role in Hideaway? What exactly?

766
00:33:12,881 --> 00:33:17,041
Speaker 2: Director? And I guess my skill sets marketing and advertising,

767
00:33:17,201 --> 00:33:20,361
Speaker 2: so but also running the day to day all the

768
00:33:20,401 --> 00:33:21,361
Speaker 2: things that a director will do.

769
00:33:21,601 --> 00:33:24,401
Speaker 1: Would you say that you've always been entrepreneurial back in

770
00:33:24,401 --> 00:33:26,641
Speaker 1: the day when you started selling beer as a teenagers

771
00:33:26,681 --> 00:33:28,441
Speaker 1: that it started tell us.

772
00:33:30,881 --> 00:33:35,641
Speaker 2: I've always been fearful or in lack, you know, like

773
00:33:35,961 --> 00:33:39,201
Speaker 2: always had to look after myself and hustle to make

774
00:33:39,361 --> 00:33:42,761
Speaker 2: ends meet, so that carries across in life. I appreciate

775
00:33:42,961 --> 00:33:45,121
Speaker 2: that upbringing because it's me who I am today. But

776
00:33:45,681 --> 00:33:48,601
Speaker 2: carrying that on I think it served me well. But

777
00:33:48,681 --> 00:33:51,681
Speaker 2: it's also the entrepreneur side of me is a little

778
00:33:51,681 --> 00:33:54,001
Speaker 2: bit gone these days because when I was at my

779
00:33:54,081 --> 00:33:58,001
Speaker 2: peak entrepreneur, I do a thousand different businessess creating, and

780
00:33:58,161 --> 00:34:00,521
Speaker 2: it was so limiting when I look back at it,

781
00:34:00,601 --> 00:34:04,161
Speaker 2: because doing one thing good is so much better. So

782
00:34:04,361 --> 00:34:07,281
Speaker 2: true that one of the big factors in baseline closing

783
00:34:07,361 --> 00:34:09,601
Speaker 2: for me, Like I just did not want to run

784
00:34:09,681 --> 00:34:14,681
Speaker 2: two businesses. It was really difficult to do that. It's different, Yeah,

785
00:34:15,281 --> 00:34:18,001
Speaker 2: I would say I'm an entrepreneur, but not the crazy

786
00:34:18,241 --> 00:34:19,161
Speaker 2: entrepreneur was.

787
00:34:19,601 --> 00:34:21,521
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's changed and evolved the way that you do

788
00:34:21,641 --> 00:34:24,041
Speaker 1: business and the way you see it. You definitely had

789
00:34:24,081 --> 00:34:26,881
Speaker 1: our toes dipped in too many, so many things over

790
00:34:26,881 --> 00:34:28,721
Speaker 1: the years, but it all served its purpose, right.

791
00:34:28,921 --> 00:34:29,121
Speaker 2: Yeah.

792
00:34:29,441 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 1: What's it like working with your wife? We've wrote together

793
00:34:31,481 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 1: for seventeen years. Now.

794
00:34:32,881 --> 00:34:34,081
Speaker 2: Do you want the good or the bad?

795
00:34:34,401 --> 00:34:34,641
Speaker 1: Both?

796
00:34:35,921 --> 00:34:39,761
Speaker 2: We work really well together. We both appreciate what we

797
00:34:39,961 --> 00:34:40,281
Speaker 2: bring to.

798
00:34:40,361 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 1: The party, respect each other's roles.

799
00:34:42,561 --> 00:34:46,001
Speaker 2: When it has been a problem. It's when we probably

800
00:34:46,041 --> 00:34:46,481
Speaker 2: don't do that.

801
00:34:46,841 --> 00:34:47,641
Speaker 1: It's more at the start.

802
00:34:48,121 --> 00:34:50,121
Speaker 2: I love you know, at the situation, at the moment

803
00:34:50,161 --> 00:34:51,961
Speaker 2: I get to come down and because you work on

804
00:34:52,081 --> 00:34:54,321
Speaker 2: Shoe Rises downstairs of our office, so I get to

805
00:34:54,361 --> 00:34:56,881
Speaker 2: come down and give your kiss. And during the day

806
00:34:56,921 --> 00:35:00,201
Speaker 2: that's nice. And you do a great job for Hideaway, Like,

807
00:35:00,321 --> 00:35:02,681
Speaker 2: I love what you bring to the table. You bring

808
00:35:02,801 --> 00:35:05,041
Speaker 2: things that I can't, so I really appreciate.

809
00:35:05,841 --> 00:35:08,841
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. We've both got such different strengths and bring

810
00:35:08,961 --> 00:35:10,441
Speaker 1: them together. It's like magic.

811
00:35:10,521 --> 00:35:11,121
Speaker 2: It's so cool.

812
00:35:11,521 --> 00:35:13,121
Speaker 1: I love what I've been aw to bring to Hideaway too,

813
00:35:13,121 --> 00:35:14,921
Speaker 1: And I always felt a bit of guilt when I

814
00:35:14,961 --> 00:35:16,801
Speaker 1: had Baseline that I couldn't help harder.

815
00:35:16,681 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 2: I's been vice versa.

816
00:35:18,881 --> 00:35:20,761
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been really nice to be able to inject

817
00:35:21,121 --> 00:35:24,801
Speaker 1: my creativity, my energy, my face, my platform, my ideas

818
00:35:25,841 --> 00:35:28,881
Speaker 1: and emerge that. But we are thinking of pulling me

819
00:35:28,921 --> 00:35:31,401
Speaker 1: away a little bit. My goal and Tiana's goal is

820
00:35:31,441 --> 00:35:32,841
Speaker 1: to be able to do she Rises full time.

821
00:35:33,041 --> 00:35:34,921
Speaker 2: That's yeah, sure, we love it.

822
00:35:35,001 --> 00:35:39,281
Speaker 1: We've got like exact figures, goals, projects, numbers, and I

823
00:35:39,441 --> 00:35:41,761
Speaker 1: just it's so crazy. Everything we've done, it's just flowed

824
00:35:41,801 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 1: and I just know what's going to happen, So we're

825
00:35:44,441 --> 00:35:46,201
Speaker 1: looking at that and yeah, I was scared to go

826
00:35:46,281 --> 00:35:48,721
Speaker 1: to Steve about this because I felt bad once again

827
00:35:48,761 --> 00:35:49,961
Speaker 1: that like I feel like, how do I need it?

828
00:35:49,961 --> 00:35:52,681
Speaker 1: And I was just casually talking to Steve about part

829
00:35:52,721 --> 00:35:54,081
Speaker 1: of the role that I do in Hyder and I

830
00:35:54,161 --> 00:35:56,241
Speaker 1: was like, I just don't love doing this part of it.

831
00:35:56,641 --> 00:35:57,881
Speaker 1: He was like, so why do you keep doing it?

832
00:35:58,001 --> 00:36:00,361
Speaker 1: That's like maneuver and I was like really, He's like, yeah,

833
00:36:00,481 --> 00:36:02,041
Speaker 1: what does that look like for you? It's just like

834
00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:04,361
Speaker 1: two minute conversation of like why was I scared to

835
00:36:04,401 --> 00:36:06,481
Speaker 1: bring that to you? It was really good.

836
00:36:06,681 --> 00:36:08,721
Speaker 2: I think in the past there has been times where

837
00:36:08,761 --> 00:36:11,161
Speaker 2: we have needed you, but yeah, we're not quite there

838
00:36:11,241 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 2: as much anymore, no, which is great.

839
00:36:13,801 --> 00:36:15,521
Speaker 1: Yeah, there was times was reliant on.

840
00:36:15,561 --> 00:36:18,161
Speaker 2: Me to do a post, post or just your content

841
00:36:18,281 --> 00:36:20,361
Speaker 2: all the time. Yeah, because you're so great at it

842
00:36:20,481 --> 00:36:21,121
Speaker 2: and it works.

843
00:36:21,321 --> 00:36:23,841
Speaker 1: I do love a lot of it, but I feel

844
00:36:23,841 --> 00:36:26,241
Speaker 1: like my heart's really more she rises now. It can

845
00:36:26,281 --> 00:36:30,041
Speaker 1: be quite repetitive sometimes sometimes, Yeah, where do you see

846
00:36:30,081 --> 00:36:32,681
Speaker 1: us in five years? Been together seventeen years? Obviously you'll

847
00:36:32,681 --> 00:36:36,401
Speaker 1: be a bit more gray, big new house, Yeah, we're

848
00:36:36,401 --> 00:36:36,881
Speaker 1: really looking for.

849
00:36:36,961 --> 00:36:41,681
Speaker 2: It's more family holidays. In five, five years or a

850
00:36:41,721 --> 00:36:43,361
Speaker 2: bit older, we're going to be traveling so much. Heaps,

851
00:36:43,641 --> 00:36:50,201
Speaker 2: traveling heaps using our Amex points, lots of holidays, Yeah,

852
00:36:50,321 --> 00:36:52,161
Speaker 2: lots of travel with kids. I want to travel the

853
00:36:52,201 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 2: world with kids.

854
00:36:53,201 --> 00:36:54,761
Speaker 1: Steve always said something to me, and it's stuck with

855
00:36:54,841 --> 00:36:56,921
Speaker 1: me because I think you're right, and not every parent's

856
00:36:56,961 --> 00:36:58,961
Speaker 1: going to agree and everyone goes traveling different ages. We

857
00:36:59,241 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 1: found once Times turned four, he was just so good

858
00:37:02,481 --> 00:37:04,201
Speaker 1: to travel with because he's not having the naps, he's

859
00:37:04,241 --> 00:37:07,681
Speaker 1: more regulated, he can remember things, he's up for more adventures.

860
00:37:07,881 --> 00:37:11,001
Speaker 1: It's just like felt easier. So Tala is three now,

861
00:37:11,161 --> 00:37:13,001
Speaker 1: and then we were talking last night, were like, oh

862
00:37:13,041 --> 00:37:15,601
Speaker 1: my gosh, next winter, going to move to Balley for

863
00:37:15,681 --> 00:37:18,121
Speaker 1: a month or go to Dubai for a couple of

864
00:37:18,161 --> 00:37:20,241
Speaker 1: weeks and then the mal dives because sur dream location

865
00:37:20,361 --> 00:37:22,281
Speaker 1: take kids to our lives or do we do a

866
00:37:22,281 --> 00:37:24,721
Speaker 1: Europe trip, Like, we can't wait to just take them

867
00:37:24,761 --> 00:37:25,401
Speaker 1: to see the world.

868
00:37:25,921 --> 00:37:26,801
Speaker 2: It's going to be so fun.

869
00:37:26,881 --> 00:37:33,121
Speaker 1: From we're really looking forward to it. So lately lately

870
00:37:33,761 --> 00:37:36,481
Speaker 1: your wifey, I'm a little bit more spicy, I'm a

871
00:37:36,561 --> 00:37:40,801
Speaker 1: lot more sexual and free and open, and I just

872
00:37:41,001 --> 00:37:45,841
Speaker 1: feel really alive and different now. I don't know, but

873
00:37:45,921 --> 00:37:48,401
Speaker 1: it just feels really good. And I feel like even

874
00:37:48,441 --> 00:37:50,921
Speaker 1: for us and our intimacy and where we're at, it's

875
00:37:50,961 --> 00:37:53,761
Speaker 1: like better than it ever has been. And that is crazy.

876
00:37:53,841 --> 00:37:55,641
Speaker 1: After seventeen years, you think you'd be like kind of

877
00:37:55,681 --> 00:37:58,001
Speaker 1: bored with the same person, but it's like the complete opposite.

878
00:37:58,281 --> 00:38:01,321
Speaker 1: Wats your beliefs around. I think I've kind of been

879
00:38:01,401 --> 00:38:03,281
Speaker 1: on this path right for a while and learning off

880
00:38:03,361 --> 00:38:05,161
Speaker 1: like people like makes you and listening to podcasts and

881
00:38:05,681 --> 00:38:06,881
Speaker 1: wanting to be more free.

882
00:38:07,161 --> 00:38:09,401
Speaker 2: I'd like to say it's something I've done, but I

883
00:38:09,481 --> 00:38:13,321
Speaker 2: don't think so. I think it's more you're becoming a

884
00:38:13,361 --> 00:38:17,001
Speaker 2: little bit more open with who you really are. You're

885
00:38:17,041 --> 00:38:21,081
Speaker 2: shedding some old limitations and who you should be, what

886
00:38:21,241 --> 00:38:24,361
Speaker 2: you should do, what you should be seen as you know,

887
00:38:24,641 --> 00:38:27,081
Speaker 2: and I think you're finally starting to drop a bit

888
00:38:27,161 --> 00:38:29,361
Speaker 2: of that, whether it's you know, should be the good

889
00:38:29,441 --> 00:38:32,641
Speaker 2: girl or the yeah, all those things.

890
00:38:32,481 --> 00:38:33,961
Speaker 1: All that, all the hats that I felt like I

891
00:38:34,041 --> 00:38:34,641
Speaker 1: had to be seen it.

892
00:38:34,721 --> 00:38:41,561
Speaker 2: I'd like to say I'm this ninja we I would

893
00:38:41,641 --> 00:38:43,081
Speaker 2: like to say that that I think it's you.

894
00:38:43,361 --> 00:38:45,121
Speaker 1: I have spoken about this on the podcast, so like

895
00:38:45,281 --> 00:38:47,281
Speaker 1: you and Megs, you have been really good for me

896
00:38:47,361 --> 00:38:50,121
Speaker 1: in that sense because you are someone who has been

897
00:38:50,241 --> 00:38:53,401
Speaker 1: always very open sexually, like you've had no sexual shame.

898
00:38:54,001 --> 00:38:56,361
Speaker 1: It's a conversation you can have with anyone and talk

899
00:38:56,401 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 1: about it, and it's kind of helped me be like, oh,

900
00:38:58,721 --> 00:39:00,761
Speaker 1: this doesn't have to be so taboo, doesn't have to

901
00:39:00,801 --> 00:39:03,681
Speaker 1: be dirty or shameful. And it's only now that I'm like,

902
00:39:04,041 --> 00:39:05,481
Speaker 1: let's talk more, let's.

903
00:39:05,321 --> 00:39:07,241
Speaker 2: Explore More's it's an age thing.

904
00:39:07,561 --> 00:39:09,601
Speaker 1: Maybe, but it's fun. You're having fun.

905
00:39:09,881 --> 00:39:10,721
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been great.

906
00:39:12,561 --> 00:39:16,081
Speaker 1: It's like how much do I talk about here? Okay,

907
00:39:16,121 --> 00:39:18,201
Speaker 1: we're going to wrap it up. But one thing that's

908
00:39:18,241 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 1: always just like stayed in my heart and what I'm

909
00:39:21,521 --> 00:39:24,041
Speaker 1: like so grateful for you is I'd love to know

910
00:39:24,481 --> 00:39:28,321
Speaker 1: why or how because I couldn't see it. But it's

911
00:39:28,321 --> 00:39:30,361
Speaker 1: the title of this whole podcast is like the man

912
00:39:30,401 --> 00:39:32,681
Speaker 1: who believed in me before I ever believed in myself,

913
00:39:33,081 --> 00:39:36,281
Speaker 1: When you first met me and encouraged me and pushed

914
00:39:36,361 --> 00:39:39,041
Speaker 1: me and believed in me, Like why did you? Because

915
00:39:39,401 --> 00:39:42,521
Speaker 1: I was fully, deep rootedly in a belief that I

916
00:39:42,521 --> 00:39:46,201
Speaker 1: would never be anyone make anything of myself succeed. I

917
00:39:46,281 --> 00:39:48,401
Speaker 1: was always going to struggle. I was always hard done by.

918
00:39:48,521 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 1: It was the ugliest, the dumbest person in the room.

919
00:39:50,521 --> 00:39:53,641
Speaker 1: I had all these crazy stories about myself, and it's

920
00:39:53,721 --> 00:39:55,801
Speaker 1: like you saw this light in me that I could

921
00:39:55,881 --> 00:39:56,321
Speaker 1: never see.

922
00:39:57,041 --> 00:40:00,041
Speaker 2: I think I could see those things that you were

923
00:40:00,121 --> 00:40:03,681
Speaker 2: talking to yourself about. You had these limitations, So I

924
00:40:03,801 --> 00:40:06,321
Speaker 2: just had a real big challenge just knocking it out,

925
00:40:06,401 --> 00:40:09,241
Speaker 2: you know, like I just whether it was putting you

926
00:40:09,321 --> 00:40:13,161
Speaker 2: in uncomfortable situations or I was really good at that myself.

927
00:40:13,241 --> 00:40:15,841
Speaker 2: I felt like I wouldn't say I'm the most skillful

928
00:40:15,921 --> 00:40:18,041
Speaker 2: or talented person in the world, but I always give

929
00:40:18,121 --> 00:40:21,401
Speaker 2: things a crack without caring about failing or whatever to

930
00:40:21,481 --> 00:40:24,681
Speaker 2: my own deterents sometimes. But I could see your potential too,

931
00:40:24,801 --> 00:40:27,281
Speaker 2: I could see your heart. I could see the gifts

932
00:40:27,281 --> 00:40:29,201
Speaker 2: that you had to give, and yeah, I just put

933
00:40:29,281 --> 00:40:34,201
Speaker 2: my own experience of life into practice with you emotional

934
00:40:34,401 --> 00:40:35,481
Speaker 2: Oh so nice.

935
00:40:36,441 --> 00:40:38,601
Speaker 1: I love you, And it's just always stuck me. I

936
00:40:38,681 --> 00:40:41,201
Speaker 1: always reflected, I'm like fuck, I like literally would not

937
00:40:41,281 --> 00:40:44,081
Speaker 1: even be able to talk right now with a microphone

938
00:40:44,121 --> 00:40:45,761
Speaker 1: in my face, with cameras on me, I.

939
00:40:45,841 --> 00:40:48,961
Speaker 2: Remember, Yeah, just a quick memory comes back, like the

940
00:40:49,001 --> 00:40:51,521
Speaker 2: Bikini Body Challenge. You know, she was killing it on

941
00:40:51,561 --> 00:40:54,001
Speaker 2: the bikini stage, winning all these comps, and let's do it,

942
00:40:54,321 --> 00:40:56,801
Speaker 2: Bikini Body Challenge. I just need this quick video and

943
00:40:56,881 --> 00:40:58,881
Speaker 2: then I can market it online. And it was just

944
00:40:59,801 --> 00:41:02,321
Speaker 2: I ended up getting a studio and you just bored

945
00:41:02,401 --> 00:41:04,401
Speaker 2: your eyes out for like an hour for like this

946
00:41:04,561 --> 00:41:06,681
Speaker 2: script and end up not doing it because we just

947
00:41:06,721 --> 00:41:09,161
Speaker 2: couldn't get it done. Ended up doing a car I

948
00:41:09,441 --> 00:41:12,881
Speaker 2: found another way of a cartoon and I've got these Yeah,

949
00:41:12,881 --> 00:41:15,441
Speaker 2: I've got these cartoon designers to write this animation and

950
00:41:15,561 --> 00:41:18,241
Speaker 2: I got a voice over instead because it could and

951
00:41:18,321 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 2: it absolutely blew up. It was like the craziest Yeah,

952
00:41:21,641 --> 00:41:22,761
Speaker 2: and now look at you.

953
00:41:23,041 --> 00:41:25,321
Speaker 1: Those fights were continuous, like oh, we would have girls

954
00:41:25,401 --> 00:41:27,401
Speaker 1: get amazing results. And Stee's like, this is back in

955
00:41:27,401 --> 00:41:30,321
Speaker 1: the day when Faceboo would allow you to post transformations. Okay,

956
00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:31,961
Speaker 1: we're gonna put the transformation on the screen. You're going

957
00:41:32,001 --> 00:41:34,121
Speaker 1: to talk about who the girl is the results. And

958
00:41:34,201 --> 00:41:36,081
Speaker 1: I would get in front of the camera to fucking

959
00:41:36,241 --> 00:41:39,241
Speaker 1: cry and then take it out and Steve get so angry,

960
00:41:39,321 --> 00:41:41,361
Speaker 1: and I was like, you're making me do this.

961
00:41:41,521 --> 00:41:42,201
Speaker 2: I can't do it.

962
00:41:42,321 --> 00:41:44,921
Speaker 1: I'm so dumb, I'm so ugly. And then i'd watch

963
00:41:44,961 --> 00:41:46,761
Speaker 1: it back and the videographer at the time too, like

964
00:41:46,881 --> 00:41:49,561
Speaker 1: he wouldn't edit videos. So I fucked up so bad.

965
00:41:49,881 --> 00:41:52,121
Speaker 1: If I fucked up, I'd start all over again. And

966
00:41:52,241 --> 00:41:55,401
Speaker 1: I hated it. And I'm just like so grateful that

967
00:41:55,801 --> 00:41:57,721
Speaker 1: you kept pushing. And there were so many other situations

968
00:41:57,721 --> 00:41:59,601
Speaker 1: where you just pushed me and I had no choice

969
00:41:59,761 --> 00:42:02,201
Speaker 1: to step up because I just would not have the

970
00:42:02,281 --> 00:42:05,841
Speaker 1: resilience I have now, the confidence I have. Avery, we're

971
00:42:05,841 --> 00:42:07,561
Speaker 1: going to wrap it up, but thank you for believing

972
00:42:07,601 --> 00:42:09,761
Speaker 1: in me. Thank you for loving me through all my

973
00:42:09,921 --> 00:42:14,281
Speaker 1: stages and all the evolutions of Ashy, and thank you

974
00:42:14,321 --> 00:42:15,041
Speaker 1: for being here today.

975
00:42:15,121 --> 00:42:17,081
Speaker 2: Thank you go for another seventeen baby.

976
00:42:17,401 --> 00:42:19,921
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love you. I love you so much. Thanks

977
00:42:19,961 --> 00:42:21,601
Speaker 1: for joining us, guys. Bye bye,