WEBVTT - Best of Head Game: Reaching New Heights 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.240 We'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:06.680 on which this podcast was produced, the Galligall people of 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:10.280 the orination. We pay our respects to Elder's past and present. 0:00:12.280 --> 0:00:15.240 Hi team, and here I've just got back from climbing 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:19.119 Everest to taking a quick break from the podcast. In 0:00:19.160 --> 0:00:22.279 the meantime, I thought this would be a great opportunity 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:24.760 to take a look back at some of my favorite 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:29.600 interviews with my fellow climbers. In this episode, you'll hear 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:35.120 from Kenton Call, Jim Davison, and Nimsday Perda. First up, 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:40.360 Kenton Call. Summating Everest is an impressive feat in itself, 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:46.880 but doing it eighteen times that takes a seriously hardcore individual. 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:50.120 Here's what Kenton had to say about it. 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:58.720 I found myself in that pit of kind of negative despair. 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:03.000 One of the consultants came in and said, right, I'm 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:06.000 going to operate on you tomorrow, and my immediate thought 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:06.920 was when can I climb? 0:01:07.319 --> 0:01:10.000 And he just laughed and said, you're never climbing again. 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:14.280 You're never going to walk without stick, you know, And 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:18.640 that spiled me into that pit. But then about ten 0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:24.240 days later, another consultant, John Handley. He said, I'm going 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:27.080 to rebuild your foot to the best of my ability, 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:29.920 and what you do after that is down to you 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:31.479 and no one else. 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:34.880 If you put the time and effort in you will walk. 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:37.320 You will And he said, I'm not going to say 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:40.200 you're going to climb, but it's down to you and 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:44.800 how much energy and bocus you put into your rehab. Yeah, 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:49.880 and those two different approaches from those from those two 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:54.920 different consultants, that was the tipping point from being in 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:59.800 the pit of despair and self woe is me to 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:03.040 all of a sudden, actually I can do this, and 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:06.040 I will do this and I want to do this. 0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:09.800 And that was really powerful. That was for me. And 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:11.720 I only realized this years later. 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:13.320 Yeah, of course, not at the time. 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:14.920 Yeah, not not at the time. 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:17.440 Penny finally drops. Doesn't it when you do something you 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:20.799 look back and you go wow, if I hadn't That's 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:23.079 why I ask you in those moments, you know where 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:25.080 your head was at and your mindset. But it's so 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:27.480 important for people to realize that we have a choice. 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:29.079 I mean, for a while it was awful. Yeah, we 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:29.840 have the choice. 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:33.880 And the other really powerful thing is is like negative 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:38.800 motivation and by this, I mean what do you stand 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:42.440 to lose? And when that first consultant said to me, 0:02:42.760 --> 0:02:45.799 you're never going to climb again, I saw my community 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:49.200 as I knew it because I was so involved with 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:52.680 climbing everything. My girlfriend climbed, all my buddies climb, My 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:57.720 whole cohort were climbers. And I stood to lose my 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:01.920 community as I knew it. And that really scared me. 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:05.720 And that was a huge motivat because I didn't want 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:08.239 to lose that. I thought, I'm going to lose my community, 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:12.920 I've got nothing, and that that was one of the 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:15.560 big driving forces that was I'm going to get on 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:17.799 those parallel bars as soon as I can. 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:19.880 I'm going to do those extra hider sessions. 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:23.600 I'm going to go to the gym in the hospital 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:27.920 and yes, pump weights, do the pull downs, do the 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:31.400 There's certain exercises I could do build my core so 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:34.480 that when I could get back on my feet, recovery 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:35.680 is going to be that much quicker. 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:37.560 This is why I really wanted to touch on this 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:40.120 because it's fascinating because, like you said, we have a choice, 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:42.640 we have a we have a mindset as well, you know, 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.440 do we do we go down the negative mindset of 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:47.640 you know, being the victim, or do we do we 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:50.920 really you know, stand up and fight for what we 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:53.040 believe in, where we want to be, where we think 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:56.160 we should be in life. And yours was on the mountains. Now, 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:59.840 what was your first mountain after your injury that you climbed? 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:04.000 Do you remember it? And that was that a moment 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:05.880 where you thought, you know what, I'm back on track now? 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:07.960 Well, I suppose there's two things. 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:10.720 One is I got back into rock climbing, so that's 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:14.960 something I could do reds as soon as I could. 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:16.960 I was actually still in a wheelchair and I used 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:19.080 to take myself down to climbing wall in London that 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:22.120 was really steep and I could climb up just literally 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:25.039 just toe dapping, so just putting a little bit of 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:28.000 weight through my feet, you know, and then i'd be 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:30.440 lowered straight back down into the wheelchair. So you know, 0:04:30.520 --> 0:04:31.920 I got back into that quite quickly. 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:34.919 That's hardcore, mate, That is hardcore. 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:37.120 But you say that, but I didn't want to lose 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:37.760 a community. 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:41.480 I just wanted to be around you know, my friends, 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:46.360 my cohort that those people that sort of elevated me. Yeah, 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:47.880 and if you can't go to the climbing wall, if 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:50.680 you can't climb, well, now your friends would come out 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:53.320 and see you. But at the weekends there or on 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:56.720 the Wednesday night, they're all down the climbing wall. And 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:58.560 that's where I wanted to be. I wanted to be 0:04:58.600 --> 0:05:02.599 among those people that uplifted me and supported me as much. 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:03.039 As I could. 0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:07.120 So my first proper foray back into the big mountains, 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:11.320 it was a dear friend of mine, Alan Powell, had 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:15.520 this idea of a new winter line in the Alms 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:18.800 and you know, we went down and we started to 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:23.000 climb on Christmas Day and it was a hard rough 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:23.520 It took us. 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:25.200 I know that three or four days. 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:27.640 I forget now, and the story behind it is all 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:30.560 a bit of an epic. But we managed to do it. 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:37.320 And that was my first real reintroduction into the mountains 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:42.320 and it kind of proved to myself that, yeah, I 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:45.720 had to approach things in a slightly different way. I 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:48.680 had given myself more time to do the walk ins 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:51.600 to get to the bottom. I would always have problems 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:54.279 moving away from a bila. So you strap yourself to 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:56.839 the mountain and you wait there for what can be 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:59.480 hours where your mate goes up and places all the 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:02.520 ropes and things like that, and moving away would be 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:06.000 hard because my ankles or my would seize up. So 0:06:06.120 --> 0:06:09.840 those first movements were very clunky, but you learned to 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:15.800 adapt to what you have and that was wow, I 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:19.800 can do this and I will do this, and that 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:23.560 was the green light and it just started to snowball 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:24.279 from there. 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:29.600 When did Mount Everest first come into your mind? When 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:32.440 do you think, right, I'm going to I'm going to 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:34.400 take on there, I'm going to stand on the apex 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:35.160 of the world. 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:36.840 Not for a long time. 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:45.120 I mean it was late two thousand and three, and 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:47.240 so so after the accident. What I did, when I 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:50.120 realized I could do again, you know, I just was 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:53.600 consuming climbing, That's all I did. I was working on 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:57.640 building sites and I was just doing multiple expeditions, you know, 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:03.240 to green Learn, to the Himalayas, to Pakistan. I just 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.719 couldn't get enough of it. And it was on the 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:11.000 back of a quite a groundbreaking expedition to Nepal in 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:15.080 two thousand and three, and we with. 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:17.280 The three of us, and we climbed this big new route. 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:19.440 I think it was the second or third descent of 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:23.360 Annapurna three, so just under eight thousand meters. We were 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:26.240 on it for ten days. We ran out food, we 0:07:26.360 --> 0:07:30.040 ran out of fuel, and you know, it took it 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:32.760 took all of us to a super dark place and 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:35.800 it actually it was really interesting. It actually affected our 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:40.440 friendships because we went so deep that when we came 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:43.280 out of it, we had issues sort of connecting with 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.200 one another again because we all had our own journey 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:50.840 in the darkness and that was that was quite enlightening 0:07:51.040 --> 0:07:55.840 on how relationships can be affected by personal journeys. Even 0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:58.520 though we were three of us together and in theory 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:02.160 going through the same journey, it was very very different 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:04.520 for three of us. Anyway, we got quite a lot 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:07.040 of the claim for that. And on the back of that, 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:11.280 one of the British guiding companies who I was already 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:15.120 working for, wrung me up and he just said, would 0:08:15.320 --> 0:08:18.320 you entertain going to ever It's for us And I 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:21.680 had to think about it for about a nanosecond and 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:28.320 I just said yes, And that was the starting starting 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:31.240 point of it. I mean, Everiest had been beyond my 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:35.120 financial capability, and to be honest, it was something which 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:38.480 didn't interest me because it wasn't technical hard climbing. 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:41.880 It was just never in my in my wheelhouse. 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:48.720 And then it became so obvious that, you know, show 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:53.040 me one climber who can, honestly, hand on heart say 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:55.440 that at some stage in their career or their life 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:59.480 they haven't thought about going to Everest. And that was 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:04.839 probably November December two thousand and three. And I found 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:07.040 myself on the mountain for the first time spring two 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:11.440 thousand and four, feeling very out of my depth, not 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:16.800 quite knowing how it all works. Having a great Surdar, Yeah, 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:19.760 Surdar is like the head Shirpo, kind of tells you 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:20.720 how it all works. 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:21.680 And I loved it. 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:26.720 I absolutely adored it, and I just wanted more. 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:36.160 My next guest, faced unimaginable heartbreak, was doing the sport 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:40.800 he loved. Jim Davison was climbing Mount Rainier in nineteen 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:44.720 ninety two with his best mate Mike, when tragedy struck. 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:49.680 He shared what happened on this horrific day with myself. 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:55.040 So we're moving together, and I was probing with my 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:57.520 ice x as we had been for tens of thousands 0:09:57.559 --> 0:09:59.719 of times over the last three or four days, and 0:09:59.880 --> 0:10:02.400 I I probed a head, and the snow looked solid, 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:05.120 and it felt solid, and I stuck my axe in it. 0:10:05.120 --> 0:10:08.200 It firmed up in the snow. But when I took 0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:10.839 that next step and put my foot forward, my foot 0:10:10.880 --> 0:10:12.680 sank in up to my shin and then up to 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:14.640 my knee. And at first I thought it was just 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:17.600 soft snow and it'll firm up underneath my foot, But 0:10:17.720 --> 0:10:20.640 that's not what happened. Suddenly I started accelerating and I 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:23.120 realized I was no longer standing on a solid glacier. 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:26.320 I was standing on a big, weak snowbridge going across 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:29.520 a huge crevasse, and that snowbridge was starting to collapse 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:30.240 beneath my feet. 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:33.720 And that happens within the split second, right split second. 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:36.600 Absolutely, I didn't even think about it. I just I 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:39.679 actually heard myself yelling falling. That would give Mike a 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:41.840 chance to drop to the snow and dig in with 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:44.240 his ice axe and catch my fall. But I couldn't 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:46.280 even turn around because this was all happening so fast. 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:48.840 And immediately I sunk up to my waist and I 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:51.319 tried to slam my axe onto the surface of the snow, 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:53.120 and the pick went in all the way to the 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:55.000 head of the axe, which means a really deep burial 0:10:55.000 --> 0:10:58.079 in the snow. But it's about noontime now on June 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:01.560 twenty first, the longest day of the year, and the 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:03.680 top snow was all wet and soft, and my ice 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:06.120 axe pick just cut right through the snow like a 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:08.880 like a knife through butter. And I realized I couldn't 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:11.280 stop myself. And then all of a sudden, my head 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:14.520 went underneath the snowbridge and everything went dark, and I 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:18.080 realized I was inside the crevasse and accelerating into the mountain. 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:18.760 Wow. 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:21.520 So this happens in a split second. I know it 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:25.240 all too well. Your goes in, you go down to 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:27.200 your knee, and you just think, do you know what, 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:28.800 I've got a bit of tough snow in front of me. 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:33.000 I'm steady, I'm just going to plow through. Then whack. 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:36.040 Before you know it, you're completely covered. So you're in 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:40.000 the crevass and you're completely covered. How do you communicate 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:40.600 with Mike? 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:43.440 Well, at this point, we're in two different worlds. I'm 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:46.400 inside the crevasse and there's just a little man size 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:49.439 hole about two feet across that had collapsed beneath my feet. 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:51.840 The rope goes up through that hole and back to Mike. 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:55.000 So I'm plummeting vertically into the darkness. I'm swinging my 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.040 ice ACKs around trying to hook the side walls, and 0:11:57.080 --> 0:11:59.880 I couldn't reach either sidewall. And I realized, oh, this 0:11:59.920 --> 0:12:02.600 is a big crevasse. And I knew my partner, Mike 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:05.120 would be digging in because he's so well trained, and 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:07.480 I know he was digging in. I wasn't going super fast, 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:10.400 but my brain started guessing how far and I'd gotten. 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:12.760 I couldn't talk to Mike because he was above the 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:15.880 snow and I'm below it. And I started picking up speed, 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:18.600 and my brain guess I'd gone twenty feet in thirty 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:21.040 feet in, and I thought that's not right. Mike should 0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:23.760 have stopped me by now. Then my brain guesses forty feet. 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:27.000 I thought forty feet were only separated by about fifty 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:29.040 feet of rope. I thought, come on, Mike, stop me, 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:31.559 stop me. I felt the rope jerk once and I 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:35.520 slowed down and I almost stopped, and then I accelerated 0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:38.160 twice as fast into the darkness. Now I didn't know 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:40.240 what that meant at the time. I was just overwhelmed 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:42.880 with the sensations, and I couldn't figure out what was happening. 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:45.400 But I know now what happened, which was my partner. 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:47.960 Mike did his job, and he dug in to the 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.440 snow and slowed me down for the first fifty feet 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:53.200 as I fell into the crevas But as I went deeper, 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:55.360 the rope pulled Mike closer and closer to the lip 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:57.920 of the crevasse, and the same wet snow that caused 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:01.560 me to fall into the carvas first place wouldn't let 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:03.480 Mike stop, and he got pulled over the lip of 0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:06.760 the crevass, pulled into the crevas and tied together. The 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:10.040 two of us sailed deeper inside the mountain, into the darkness. 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:13.920 So when you're falling and Mike is obviously on the 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:18.199 other end of the rope, do you then see Mike 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:22.000 go past you in the crevass or do you stop together? 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:24.360 How does that pan out when you now know that 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:26.680 actually Mike is in the crevas with me. 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:27.240 Yeah. 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:29.640 When I thought I'd been falling first in the first 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:32.280 fifty feet because it felt fast to me, But once 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:34.439 Mike got pulled in and gravity had a full grip 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:37.360 on us, I just kept accelerating even faster and faster, 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:39.200 and that's when I knew that he had to be 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:41.720 in there with me. We were both free falling, and 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:44.360 I thought for sure we'd be dead. There's a word 0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:46.160 for this, as you know, and climbing. When you're falling 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:49.240 a crevasse. Crevasses get skinnier and skinnier, narrow and narrow 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:51.000 as you go down, and when you fall in with 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:53.640 great velocity, you can get stuck in there, wedged in 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:56.080 like a cork in a wine bottle. And I thought, man, 0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:57.920 we're going to get corked at the bottom of this thing. 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:00.520 And I hit one wall lightly with my shoulder and 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:02.920 I began to ricochet from one wall to the other, 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:05.319 getting beat up as I went, hitting my head, hitting 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:07.760 my back, and that probably took a little speed off me. 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:09.960 But all of a sudden I slammed to a stop. 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:11.920 The air burst out of my lungs kind of, and 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:14.320 you know, I lost my breath, and I looked up 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:16.520 and I saw a little point of light, and I 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:18.440 couldn't understand what the light was. In fact, it was 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:20.840 the surface of the snow far above my head. And 0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:22.800 then all of a sudden, wet snow started falling on 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:25.320 my legs, and that was the snow bridge that collapse, 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.560 and the snow that might had sort of snow plowed 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:30.520 into that little hole. So all this huge, massive snow, 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:34.520 like a truckload of snow started falling down, started burying 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:37.080 me for my feet upwards. I panicked and tried to 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:40.000 sit up, but my pack was wedged corked between the 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:41.800 two ice walls that were about a foot and a 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:44.000 half apart from one another, so I couldn't sit up, 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:47.120 and I couldn't stand up. I was stuck facing upward, 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:49.960 lying down towards the surface as the snow just piled 0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:52.240 up on me and up and up, and I was 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:54.040 afraid I was gonna get totally buried, so I put 0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:56.400 my hands over my head like I'd learned an avalanche 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:59.120 survival class. And then a big impact hit with a 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:01.560 lot of weight. I figured out later that was Mike 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:04.200 and his pack and more snow. Mike landed on me, 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:06.360 and more snow fell on and if someone had been 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:07.960 standing there when it all stopped, it would have just 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:10.160 probably been a pile of snow with a little rope 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:12.080 and a little bit of gear sticking out. Because both 0:15:12.120 --> 0:15:13.040 Mike and I were buried. 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:18.680 Wow, let's give me goose bumps, because I've done you know, 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:23.120 crevass training, and you know it all you know comes 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:26.200 together in training because it's all in a controlled and 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:30.960 safe environment. When everything comes to a holt and you're 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:36.200 there in complete silence, what's your next thought process? What 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:39.640 is going through your head in that very moment once 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:43.960 everything sort of stops and you realize, actually, I'm in 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:45.400 a real bad situation here. 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:48.960 Well, it was so overwhelming because it had all happened 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:51.880 in just a second or two. Falling through the crevass, 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:55.040 falling through the air, landing in the snow, the snow 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.520 falling on me. I thought to myself, I can't believe this. 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:01.280 I just survived the fall somehow, and I can still think. 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:03.800 Yet I'm trapped. I'm buried. I tried to push with 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:05.840 my arms and legs and I couldn't get out, and 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:08.320 that's when panics starting setting and I thought, I've got 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:10.680 to get out. I can't breathe. I had managed to 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:12.200 keep one hand in front of my face and I 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:14.880 had a small air pocket about the size of a football. 0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:17.360 But I knew that wouldn't last very long. So I'm 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:19.720 trying to push and push, and I'd heard in the 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:23.720 avalanche survival class and avalanche training classes that if you 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:26.040 get buried by avalanche de breath, it's like being held 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:29.800 down by a thousand cold, wet hands, and that's what 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:31.600 it felt like to me. I could feel the cold 0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:34.800 and the wetness and the moisture, but I was panicking 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:36.240 so bad on my chest because I knew that I 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:39.440 needed air any second now. And I pushed and pushed, 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.400 and eventually my good right arm burst out of the 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:43.560 snow and I swept away a little snow. I only 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:45.840 had about maybe ten inches of snow pile up on 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.080 my face, so I swept the snow a little bit 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:50.600 and spit out a snowball that had jammed in my 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:54.280 mouth and caught a few rushed breaths, and I realized 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:56.920 I was okay and I could breathe. But I was 0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:59.240 buried right up to my chin, and I could see 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:01.320 a little bit of Mike's yere nearby, but in the darkness, 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:03.400 I couldn't see where he was. I knew he had 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:05.119 to be nearby because I knew he fell in with me, 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:08.159 and I yelled, Mike, Mike, where are you pull me 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:10.960 out before it freezes, because I'm thinking we're trapped in 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:13.439 this wet snow and this ice on both sides of us, 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:16.080 the glacial ancient ice. It's going to freeze the whole 0:17:16.080 --> 0:17:18.280 thing in on a massive ice pretty soon. And I'd 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:19.919 hope that he'd go, oh, there you are, jam and 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:23.159 pull me out. But that's not what happened. When he 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:25.879 answered back, he didn't answer back with words. He answered 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:28.000 with a groan. I knew my friend and partner was 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:28.880 hurt really bad. 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:33.840 So you're literally eighty feet in this crevass. Just describe 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.719 the environment. So you've managed to dig yourself out of. 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:39.640 I can only describe it as an ic coffin. You're 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:44.480 now free up to your waist. Mike is obviously at 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:47.800 arm's length away from you. Is that correct? And is there? 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:50.520 Can you see any light when you look up or 0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:52.160 you completely in the darkness. 0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:54.560 There was a little bit of light. I could see 0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:56.720 shapes pretty well, and I could see a little bit 0:17:56.760 --> 0:18:00.320 of colors. But the thing is, when sunlight goes through 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:03.520 the ice, the ice filters out the reds and yellow 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:06.160 and green wavelengths, so the only light that gets through 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:08.720 is blue and the deeper you go into crevass, the 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:11.240 bluer it gets. And this is the bluest crevasse I'd 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.960 ever seen. It was a deep, dark blue, deep dark 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:18.639 shadows everywhere, and I could feel the fear above me. 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:21.119 I could feel something looming above me, but frankly, I 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:23.439 was so focused on Mike. I didn't have time. And 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:25.080 I also think then I didn't have the courage to 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:27.320 look up. I knew that there was something really bad 0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:29.720 up above our heads, but I had to keep doing 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:32.719 CEPR and Mike. So I was doing compressions on him, 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:35.479 and I was trapped behind him. I was basically reaching 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:38.040 with my arm around him from his back and touching 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:39.840 his chest with the palm in my hand. And I 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:41.520 knew it wasn't the right way to give compressions. I 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:43.560 was supposed to be above him to get both palms 0:18:43.560 --> 0:18:45.520 and my body weight into it, but it's all I 0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:47.960 could do. So I was behind him. I kept pressing 0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:51.160 his chest back against my own and sort of squeezing 0:18:51.200 --> 0:18:54.359 him between my one hand and my own breastbone, and 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:56.000 I kept it up for a long time, and then 0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:58.439 I'd give him some breaths, and I cleared his airway 0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:00.760 and I gave more breaths, and I kept it up 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:02.560 for a while, and I was starting to panic because 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:04.159 I was hoping that I would just give him two 0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:05.919 or three breads and that he would suddenly wake up 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:07.880 and go, oh, I'm fine, Thanks for doing that, Jim. 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:11.680 But that's not what happened. And after maybe another twenty 0:19:11.720 --> 0:19:14.560 minutes of CPR, I realized it wasn't coming around, and 0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:16.480 I knew I was supposed to keep up going to 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:18.720 keep him alive, but also I knew I couldn't keep 0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:20.440 it up forever because I'm still trapped in the snow 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:22.880 and it's going to freeze solid, and one person can't 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:26.200 do CPR for hours or days. It just doesn't work. 0:19:26.680 --> 0:19:29.040 But I kept going for a while longer, and I 0:19:29.119 --> 0:19:31.440 checked vitals the second time, and I still didn't feel anything, 0:19:31.440 --> 0:19:33.840 and I finally had to stop, and I knew my 0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:36.600 good friend and partner Mike was deceased, and my head 0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:40.399 just dropped onto his chest. My chin started quivering, and 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:43.760 fear and water started filling my eyes up, and I 0:19:43.920 --> 0:19:45.760