WEBVTT - Are You a Black Cat or a Golden Retriever? 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:03.480 Welcome to First things first, I'm brook Blooding. My pronouns 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:04.080 are she and her. 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:06.480 I'm Maddie Meals. My pronouns are he and him. And 0:00:06.519 --> 0:00:08.880 before we get started with life, to acknowledge the custodians 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:10.879 of the land on which we record. And for me 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:13.320 today that's the gatigal people of the urination. 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:16.079 And for me it's a wondering people of the cooler nation. 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:22.840 And let's get into it. Yeah, let's go to you. 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:25.160 I know you've just come from a big, massive day 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:27.400 doing an awesome job that you can't talk about right now, 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:28.479 but super cool. 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:32.560 Just talking shit. You know, that's my job these days. 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:35.400 I don't even know how I got here or what 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:38.519 I'm doing, but I seem to make money from it. 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:42.760 Still getting their bag, but talking shit, gotta. 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:48.360 Love it, actual but actually talking about talking hilariously. I'm 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:50.880 losing my voice, as you can tell, I'm a bit crook. 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:53.600 And I realized that I get like the sad blues 0:00:53.600 --> 0:00:58.440 when I get sick, Like I generally don't like feeling ill, 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.280 and I know that everyone doesn't. That's a very normal feeling, 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:03.840 but a man, it's like seasonal depression. 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:07.880 It's like sickness depression. I get the man flu. 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:12.200 I get real angry, real irritated, real sad, like I'm 0:01:12.240 --> 0:01:13.840 down and. 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:16.080 All I want is some sun What can you do? 0:01:16.520 --> 0:01:19.640 We're really into this autumn winter now, like we're really 0:01:19.680 --> 0:01:22.720 in it, like they ain't gonna be any sunshine and 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:25.240 no sunshine and gess. 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:27.360 And on that note, we better move on. 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:34.440 The way I'm wasting my voice right now? Is I 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:35.360 don't know what I'm doing. 0:01:35.480 --> 0:01:38.720 Anyways, you're on your last vocal cards there, that's for sure. 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:42.240 Hey, don't be mocking my singing. 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:44.679 Can I tell you a funny story about this whole 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:47.640 mocking the singing vibe? Okay? On the weekend, I went 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:48.480 and caught up with some. 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:51.680 Friends, and I do think your friends. 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:56.280 Yeah, I know, I'm so proud of you. And you 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:59.880 know what, it's probably a stretch naming them friend cleaned? 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:01.360 Are we your friends? 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:04.640 I don't know, don't even have their numbers just on Instagram. 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:06.440 Now. I just saw them on the side of the 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:08.480 street and said, hey, do you want to hang? But no, Look, 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:10.840 they're good friends of mine and they're black fellows. But 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:12.840 I did the most shame thing, and I woke up 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:16.760 yesterday thinking to myself, why did I do that? And 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:19.720 it was that I was with someone who's a singer, 0:02:20.120 --> 0:02:22.680 and I was trying to prove to them that I 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:28.720 could sing. Don't and see. Let me tell you, there's 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:30.240 one thing that I can't do in the world and 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:32.200 that I'm happy to admit, and it's to sing. But 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:35.079 this person, Scotty Campbell, their name is and they're Blackfellow, 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:37.880 and they're a queer performer and great voice. We were 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:41.839 watching YouTube videos of like Mariah Kerry, Whitney Houston, and 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:45.080 Scotty was singing along and having these amazing like harmonies 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:47.120 and hitting these notes. And here I was sitting next 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:49.600 to him. Sounded like a dead, dying cat. I could 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:52.839 only imagine what he was feeling like in that moment, 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:54.520 because when I woke up on Monday morning, I was like, 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:57.240 I feel shame for myself. Oh I can't really do it. 0:02:57.320 --> 0:03:02.800 God funny, I'm like, did you ever get drunk and 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:04.440 do like rap battles? 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:08.280 Well, no, I didn't ever do rap battles. 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:11.120 But I've always sung, and I sung in church when 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:12.799 I was younger, like when we were in foster care. 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:14.760 Like I've spoken about this quite a few times I've 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:17.000 got a bit of a complex with singing, mind you, Right, 0:03:17.120 --> 0:03:20.160 Like I just feel like I got forced to sing 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:22.760 in church, so I didn't enjoy it. So for a 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.639 very long time I didn't really use my voice or sing. 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:27.639 What church songs did you sing? Because I sung in 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:28.600 church as well? Oh? 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:31.960 Could I remember him now? Like Lord, Jesus is my savior, 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:36.880 like that kind of thing, you know, Jesus saving you hunt. 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:41.080 Yeah, I remember singing all of those songs and feeling 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:44.160 really like I felt like really Christian. 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:47.240 Yes, you know what, There's one song that I do 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:49.840 love and it is it is this Jesus song, but 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:53.880 it's got a It's called Oceans May Fall or Oceans 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.840 Fall Apart or something, and it's a really nice song, 0:03:56.920 --> 0:04:03.040 but it more speaks to ocean, you know it. 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:09.040 I love that song and may far. That song's amazing. 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:12.000 But you see influencers now doing like inspirational videos with 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:13.960 that song underneath they have. 0:04:14.000 --> 0:04:16.679 No idea like it is not it's a religious song 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:20.640 and it's also by a heel song who are hugely homophobiical. 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.919 Yeah, so I know exactly what song you're talking about. 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:29.720 Yeah, But there my complex is singing. 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:32.520 It's so funny because now obviously doing Howard Fine and 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:35.640 working and acting, we're teaching your learning. 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:36.240 How to use your voice. 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:38.360 And I don't know if I actually had mentioned this 0:04:38.520 --> 0:04:41.640 on the previous episodes, but I had a big breakthrough 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:45.360 with my voice where I went to a range that 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:49.159 I'd never gone to before. So my voice teacher, so 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:52.520 we had to do this exercise, which seems so terrifying. 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.960 People say that actors they're the people that are running 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:58.640 into the burning building. So actors are putting themselves in 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:02.000 the fire pretty much right every single time they're doing 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:07.359 a character. So with boys, we have to learn to 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:11.560 put ourselves there right. And this exercise was we had 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:13.919 to sing our name, so you had to sit in 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:17.960 a seat facing the stage, compose yourself, walk down the stage, 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:20.160 turn around to everyone, and sing your name in front 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:21.440 of everyone, like sing it. 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:24.719 And I was terrified. 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:29.080 Every time I say that to someone, someone is like 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:31.599 that sounds like my absolute nightmare. 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:32.680 And I'm having to. 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:35.640 Do this and it's fine because I did it, but 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:38.640 I felt like this energy in my chest like obviously 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:42.880 it's anxiety but also probably trauma. But it was all 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:45.599 these emotions and I just was I was just pretty 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:47.680 honest and vulnerable and said, look, I don't know what 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:50.880 it is. I just feel like this heavy chest part. 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.920 And so she took me to the wall, which is 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:58.440 like the black wall in the studio, and I had 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:03.080 to yell at it to scream, but not scream from 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:07.640 my throat, scream from my belly, like a real primal yell, 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:11.520 you know, like a mother yelling for her baby if 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:12.719 there was something. 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:13.320 Happened, you know. 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:17.920 And I had to do that until my voice got 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:20.440 to a point where it went like it dipped. 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:23.920 And it was so weird. It was such a weird experience. 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:25.200 So fucking cooked. 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:27.880 I agree. 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:33.560 Acting training is cooked. Like if you had no context, 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:36.800 walked past the studio, looked and saw what actors were doing, 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:41.080 you would call the cops. You like, somebody helped these people. 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:47.799 They're bad, somebody locked them up, Like I know, no context. 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:49.919 Acting class is just womba. 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:53.720 We're literally doing improvisation at the moment and it's fucking 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:56.240 It is so fun, but at the same time, it's 0:06:56.279 --> 0:06:59.360 so cooked. But this is a thing they say, right 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:02.200 and you would know, is that they break you down 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:05.680 to build you up. And you're right in so many 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:08.400 ways with it looking a bit one bar, a bit crazy, 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:13.320 But I have never felt better in my own ability 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:17.400 in terms of what I bring to being an actor 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:18.440 in some way. 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:21.520 Nice, Yeah, because it comes down to truth and tapping 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:25.720 into honesty, and like I find that with acting there's 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:28.760 always a part of myself that I need to go 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:31.000 to to get to like the conviction that I feel 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:34.880 is going to be believed. And I remember in acting school. 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:36.880 I got to my first week of acting school and 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:40.840 we're walking through the halls of whoppap and it felt like, 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:42.560 I don't know if you've seen the movie Fame, it 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:45.200 felt like it was like you're walking, You're looking in 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.640 each door and somebody is just, you know, going at it, 0:07:47.640 --> 0:07:50.160 whether it's playing a trumpet over here, doing ballet lessons 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:53.600 over here, dancing over there, other people doing improvisation in 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.000 this room. And one of the rooms we got to, 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:59.680 all the students were completely naked. 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.360 Clo top of each other or standing or sitting. 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:05.920 Well, it wasn't quite an orgy. It was. 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:12.880 It was like, we are not doing that. Fun is 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:14.240 not doing naked. 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:17.680 And they shouldn't. This was a prank that was pulled 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:21.239 by a class of actors to intimidate the first years 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:23.160 that are coming in. And it was a tradition that 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:25.680 was done every year at whop Up. So the first 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:27.760 years come and they're doing this tour of the school 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:29.920 and they get to this one classroom and everyone's naked 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:33.160 and it's like that's what in their head is what 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:35.559 they have to do, and they just shit themselves. 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.360 That is such a cruel prank, but also it's. 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:40.520 Cruel and it's also like fucked up, and it's also 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:42.439 psychologically like disturbing. 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:47.200 Yeah, and also how uncomfortable the people that also have 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:49.800 to contribute. Like I get if you're comfortable, that's fine, 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:51.960 but also imagine being a part of the class and 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:53.240 being like, hey, this is what we're gonna do. 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:54.560 Like I'd be like get fucked. 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:56.840 Like it's normally the third years, so the people who 0:08:56.880 --> 0:08:58.600 are in their final year, who have seen every bit 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:01.200 of each other's body years and never lived together and 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:03.800 probably fucked each everyone throughout the classroom, you. 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:06.760 Know, like we have intimacic coordinative. 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:09.839 Now, the industry is changing and I'm glad for it, 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:12.360 but that that was one of my first experiences that Whopper, 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:16.040 and I was like acting is fucked also it's a 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:18.640 mind game, you know, like in those initial years, it's 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:21.520 like trying to break your fucking brain in some of 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:24.320 these classes. But I don't know, how do you finding 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:25.760 it in terms of when you walk out of the door, 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:27.480 you able to leave it there or do you like 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:29.199 go home and be like what did I do today? 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:30.000 Am I see? 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:31.599 I'm like classic. 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:35.880 Overachiever slash, you know, like a bit of a nerd 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:36.600 in some ways. 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:39.959 So I go home and there are some days. 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:42.160 When I'm absolutely ref depending on what we've ended on, 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:45.000 where I'll just crash out. I think my first week, 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:48.280 I actually fell asleep on the floor in my land 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:51.920 room in the sun like a little lizard, like close 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:57.160 to the glass, like I was just so cooked. And 0:09:57.800 --> 0:10:02.000 now I'm probably more in that and analytical stage where 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:05.240 I know I've learned the foundations now and like I'm 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:09.040 working and using the techniques that we've been taught to 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:11.600 because we're at the moment doing scene study, which is 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:14.560 really exciting. So I'm playing a character called Georgie, and 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:16.480 Georgie and I are very similar. She grew up in 0:10:16.480 --> 0:10:19.960 the Bronx, now she's in Boston. She's self made. There's 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:23.760 this big power play thing with her and her boss 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:27.120 and this guy who's her neighbor who is married, and 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:28.320 obviously they love each other. 0:10:28.640 --> 0:10:31.280 I'm in love with him, but he's engaged, etc. Like 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:32.840 there's this old, big debacle. 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:34.839 This sound like it. 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:35.720 Sounds like my life. 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:41.120 If I've been honest home literally, I'm been there and 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:44.920 done that. Next now it's called spark Hills. 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:45.920 Have you ever heard of it? 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:46.600 Oh? 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:47.440 I don't think so. Nu. 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:49.760 Yeah, I think you would actually love the play Like 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:54.120 it's a real power feminist. There's so much to it 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:56.480 that you could take it wherever if you wanted to. 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:59.880 And Georgie's you know, from the Bronx now in Boston, 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.719 and she wears his spike heels which look like sort 0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:09.240 of medieval looking contraption type things. And you know, I'm sexy, 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:11.520 I'm I love sex. 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:13.800 I have many one night stands. 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:16.680 And this is Georgie playing by the way, So don't 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:19.240 even cut this and make it out like I'm just. 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:22.640 Telling you who I am. The truth comes in. 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:24.000 Make sure you know what you got to do. 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:28.480 I haven't had a one night stand in ages. I've 0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:32.720 been on a drought. If I'm being honest, Yeah, not dating, 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:35.280 not seeing anyone. Everyone get fucked and fuck away from me. 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:38.280 Happy day. This is good. 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:39.360 I'm glad to hear it. 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:43.800 Yeah, no, everyone fuck off for you. Are you listening 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:47.520 to this? Earone needs to get the fuck away from me. 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:50.360 I love it. Yeah. 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:57.000 Anyways, you're okay? Yeah, I'm sure. My black cat. 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:59.920 Error, Oh my god, don't even start on the fuck 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:01.079 black cat. 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:03.520 Okay, let's talk about black cat theory. 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:07.960 This is a new theory that has been trending. It 0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:11.920 has honestly been blowing up my fucking TikTok feed, but 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:14.040 I keep going back. 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:15.480 To it and thinking about it. 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:21.360 So the theory is is the black cat and Golden 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:25.840 retriever theory. It's a dating theory, so it's about relationships, 0:12:26.040 --> 0:12:29.439 and it's not just about romantic relationships. You can also 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.760 use this in friendship relationships too. They say that black 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:37.000 cats and golden retrievers work really well in terms of 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:41.480 because of the dynamic. But they're sort of contrast energies, 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:45.199 so I would say they're complementary to one another. 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:49.240 But they only work well supposedly according to this theory. 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:52.640 And this TikTok person named Enna Christina, and she has 0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:55.199 a whole master class on it it only. She speaks 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:59.959 very much specifically about heteronormative relationships dynamic, but she says 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:03.480 that the dynamic only works if the woman is the 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:07.760 black cat and the man is the Golden Retriever. I 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:11.599 think that this dynamic can work outside of that constraint. 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:14.559 Like I think about gay relationships, and I feel like 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:16.920 there's always I don't want to use the term like 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:20.480 masculine and feminine energy. I want to use more like 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:24.960 people who seek to be more the driver, you know, 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:28.199 and the person who likes to be taken care of, And. 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:30.800 There's different There's so many different ways as you can 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:34.000 describe someone in personalities, right, but there are so many 0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:38.040 different ways and balances in a relationships. It doesn't always 0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:40.840 have to be a masculine feminine sort of energy. 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:43.720 Yeah, well, let's describe the two different energies. Your black 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:48.959 cat is someone who's unbothered, borderline selfish, prioritizes themselves above 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:53.040 everyone else, and is a little bit like I don't 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:57.200 give a fuck attitude and what you're like projecting onto 0:13:57.240 --> 0:13:59.640 me isn't going to affect me at all, like unbothered, 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:04.280 you know. And the golden retriever is the always trying 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:06.439 to make it up, or the happy go lucky, always 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:08.880 excited to see them, perhaps a little bit you know, 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:11.400 over the top and a little bit naive, and somebody 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.520 who's always trying to win them over. I suppose, and 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:16.800 I have to say, I'm a fucking golden retriever in 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:17.280 and out? 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:18.600 Why do you say this? 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:24.880 Because I just my argument is that I think I 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:28.880 agree of this dynamic and this theory to a certain level, 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:31.920 but I do believe that humans and people are way 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:35.480 more complex than just this. But this is a theory 0:14:35.520 --> 0:14:38.880 obviously based in relationships and a dynamic that can work 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:42.000 and be really successful. So I do understand that not 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:44.200 everyone's going to believe us about this, and we're not 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:47.200 some experts on it, but and in Christine says that 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:50.200 there are some really successful relationships that do work because 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:50.840 of this theory. 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.320 Why do you say that you're a gold and what 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:55.760 defines you as a golden retriever? 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:59.400 I feel like I'm someone who always wants things to 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:01.840 be smoothed, so I always come to the table with 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:05.120 a solution, or I'm someone who if I feel like 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:08.080 there is an issue, I will be the person to say, hey, 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:10.720 let's talk about it. Let's fix it. What's wrong with you? 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:13.000 Can I help you? What can I do to change? 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.000 Like I feel like I'm always coming to the table 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.720 with solutions instead of being like, oh, well, fuck trying 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:21.360 to fix this. I'm going to let you sort your 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:23.680 shit out and I'm going to act unbothered and walk 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:26.520 away because I've tried it and I've tested it, and 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:29.600 I'm the person who ends up getting upset because I 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:32.360 feel like I'm too cold, I'm too negative, Like I 0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:35.560 feel like I'm hurting the other person's feelings and that 0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:37.640 to me, doesn't sit well with me. So I feel 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:41.440 like the Golden Retriever resonates more with me because I'm 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:42.120 a bit soft. 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:45.560 Yeah, I hope it happy go lucky kind of energy, 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:49.960 like more optimistic energy, a bit more, but also. 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:53.000 Like a little bit in a relationship dynamic. For instance, 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:59.240 I'll give you an example my current relationship. My partner, 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.280 I would say, is quite black. 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:05.160 Cat energy, and I describe him as. 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:10.200 A So somebody who I feel like holds their cards 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:13.440 close to their chest, doesn't give their power away, doesn't 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:16.520 allow you into much so that you have enough detail 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:19.320 to be able to, I don't know, like relieve them 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.000 from their power. It's just like I don't want to 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:24.360 say cold, because I don't think they're cold, but I 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:26.360 feel like they are very like they can be very 0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:30.200 shut off with emotions and like have you arm's length 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:33.360 the weight and act like if nothing bothers them. And 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:36.640 I actually have been like trying to take more of 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:39.800 that on. I'm like, Okay, I'm going to like test 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:42.960 the waters, right, yeah, test the waters and see how 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.400 it works when I'm that way. And I did it 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:46.280 and I didn't feel good. 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:51.520 You're like, this does not fit me. Okay, what am 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:53.360 I am? I think I'm a black cat. 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:56.760 Yeah, I reckon, Yeah, I'm I'm. 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:59.200 Literally wearing black today. Ironically. 0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:05.240 See, there's another theory that I've also listened to. Someone 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:08.959 has to love the other person more so then I 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:11.760 feel like the other person is kind of chasing in 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.399 a sense. And I feel like this that theory is 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:18.040 a little bit similar in this black Cat Golden Retriever, 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:22.399 like where the Golden Retriever is like chasing this black 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:27.720 cat and never can kind of like grab at it completely. 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:33.800 And more recently, I mean, I think different dynamics when 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:38.399 you meet different people. But I think I'm a black 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:42.359 cat energy by myself. But I think when I'm in 0:17:42.400 --> 0:17:47.240 a relationship, I give so much, so I don't think 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:49.400 I am a black cat in a relationship. 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:50.960 I'm the golden retriever. 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:56.240 I'm the happy, go lucky like wanna make memories and 0:17:56.640 --> 0:17:59.280 do positive things, and I don't feel like I've completely 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:02.480 got all of them at hand, which is very representative 0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:05.080 of the relationships I've previously been in it right. 0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:08.359 Which also stands to sort of attest to this theory 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:10.160 that the woman has to be the black cat if 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:13.680 it's successful, because you haven't found success that much success 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:18.960 in relationship and so maybe because you are the golden retriever, 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:22.600 you need to switch that shit be the black cat 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:24.400 and then maybe it'll work. Well. 0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:28.560 No, I agree, because the thing is, I also have 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:31.320 just this energy where I just I actually right now 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:33.840 don't give a fuck about anyone in terms of my 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:37.200 people that I love and work with, et cetera. But yeah, 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:41.800 and I've had the most attention in the last couple 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:44.480 of months, and I've ever had pretty much even more 0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:47.359 during the bachelorette, to be fair with you, and I've 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:51.439 not bitten. All the fishing are biding and I'm not 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:54.960 fishing because I just cannot be bothered and I've got 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:57.879 shit to do and I want someone to chase me. 0:18:58.119 --> 0:18:59.440 I don't want someone. 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:02.919 And I actually genuinely met someone who was like chasing me, 0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:05.399 and then all of a. 0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:09.159 Sudden, all the stuff chasing you, like, have they long like. 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:14.960 Where's my flowers? And where arem I Like, where's the romance? 0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:17.920 Like where's the nice things? 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:21.399 Not that I am like high maintenance, but it's like 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:23.480 and then this is the thing, this is a cop 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:25.800 out that I had more recently, is that I literally 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:27.720 communicated with someone I was like, I just don't really 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:30.040 feel like you desire me enough in it any way, 0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:32.560 Like you're not really chasing So then I'm like, well. 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:34.480 I don't really, I don't. 0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:36.560 I feel like I know what I'm bringing to the table, 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:37.760 but like what do you bring into the table. And 0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:40.640 we had the conversation and the blame that I got 0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:44.639 because I am so busy and made and gaslighted and 0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:46.600 made me feel like as if, like my life is 0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:48.920 too busy to have a relationship. Yeah, probably it is, 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:51.440 but for the right person it wouldn't be that, you 0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:52.000 know what I mean. 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:54.600 So it's like I have been. 0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:59.280 A black Cat in so many other areas. But I 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:02.320 think I I switch out of black Cat because I 0:20:02.440 --> 0:20:05.399 have to in order to let someone in in the 0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:09.320 first instance, and then they I get I let them in, 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:11.960 and then they're like, nah, I don't want you. 0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:13.480 Nah. 0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:15.719 Yeah, you know what I mean, Like it changes. 0:20:16.280 --> 0:20:18.480 Yeah, I feel like I just won't give a fuck. 0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:21.000 Maybe that's my thing, does not care anytime. 0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:23.880 I think it's hard to do when you're somebody who 0:20:24.040 --> 0:20:24.720