Speaker 1: Welcome to First things first, I'm brook Blooding. My pronouns
Speaker 1: are she and her.
Speaker 2: I'm Maddie Meals. My pronouns are he and him. And
Speaker 2: before we get started with life, to acknowledge the custodians
Speaker 2: of the land on which we record. And for me
Speaker 2: today that's the gatigal people of the urination.
Speaker 1: And for me it's a wondering people of the cooler nation.
Speaker 1: And let's get into it. Yeah, let's go to you.
Speaker 2: I know you've just come from a big, massive day
Speaker 2: doing an awesome job that you can't talk about right now,
Speaker 2: but super cool.
Speaker 1: Just talking shit. You know, that's my job these days.
Speaker 3: I don't even know how I got here or what
Speaker 3: I'm doing, but I seem to make money from it.
Speaker 2: Still getting their bag, but talking shit, gotta.
Speaker 3: Love it, actual but actually talking about talking hilariously. I'm
Speaker 3: losing my voice, as you can tell, I'm a bit crook.
Speaker 3: And I realized that I get like the sad blues
Speaker 3: when I get sick, Like I generally don't like feeling ill,
Speaker 3: and I know that everyone doesn't. That's a very normal feeling,
Speaker 3: but a man, it's like seasonal depression.
Speaker 1: It's like sickness depression. I get the man flu.
Speaker 3: I get real angry, real irritated, real sad, like I'm
Speaker 3: down and.
Speaker 1: All I want is some sun What can you do?
Speaker 3: We're really into this autumn winter now, like we're really
Speaker 3: in it, like they ain't gonna be any sunshine and
Speaker 3: no sunshine and gess.
Speaker 2: And on that note, we better move on.
Speaker 3: The way I'm wasting my voice right now? Is I
Speaker 3: don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: Anyways, you're on your last vocal cards there, that's for sure.
Speaker 1: Hey, don't be mocking my singing.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you a funny story about this whole
Speaker 2: mocking the singing vibe? Okay? On the weekend, I went
Speaker 2: and caught up with some.
Speaker 1: Friends, and I do think your friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I'm so proud of you. And you
Speaker 2: know what, it's probably a stretch naming them friend cleaned?
Speaker 2: Are we your friends?
Speaker 3: I don't know, don't even have their numbers just on Instagram.
Speaker 2: Now. I just saw them on the side of the
Speaker 2: street and said, hey, do you want to hang? But no, Look,
Speaker 2: they're good friends of mine and they're black fellows. But
Speaker 2: I did the most shame thing, and I woke up
Speaker 2: yesterday thinking to myself, why did I do that? And
Speaker 2: it was that I was with someone who's a singer,
Speaker 2: and I was trying to prove to them that I
Speaker 2: could sing. Don't and see. Let me tell you, there's
Speaker 2: one thing that I can't do in the world and
Speaker 2: that I'm happy to admit, and it's to sing. But
Speaker 2: this person, Scotty Campbell, their name is and they're Blackfellow,
Speaker 2: and they're a queer performer and great voice. We were
Speaker 2: watching YouTube videos of like Mariah Kerry, Whitney Houston, and
Speaker 2: Scotty was singing along and having these amazing like harmonies
Speaker 2: and hitting these notes. And here I was sitting next
Speaker 2: to him. Sounded like a dead, dying cat. I could
Speaker 2: only imagine what he was feeling like in that moment,
Speaker 2: because when I woke up on Monday morning, I was like,
Speaker 2: I feel shame for myself. Oh I can't really do it.
Speaker 2: God funny, I'm like, did you ever get drunk and
Speaker 2: do like rap battles?
Speaker 1: Well, no, I didn't ever do rap battles.
Speaker 3: But I've always sung, and I sung in church when
Speaker 3: I was younger, like when we were in foster care.
Speaker 3: Like I've spoken about this quite a few times I've
Speaker 3: got a bit of a complex with singing, mind you, Right,
Speaker 3: Like I just feel like I got forced to sing
Speaker 3: in church, so I didn't enjoy it. So for a
Speaker 3: very long time I didn't really use my voice or sing.
Speaker 2: What church songs did you sing? Because I sung in
Speaker 2: church as well? Oh?
Speaker 3: Could I remember him now? Like Lord, Jesus is my savior,
Speaker 3: like that kind of thing, you know, Jesus saving you hunt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember singing all of those songs and feeling
Speaker 2: really like I felt like really Christian.
Speaker 3: Yes, you know what, There's one song that I do
Speaker 3: love and it is it is this Jesus song, but
Speaker 3: it's got a It's called Oceans May Fall or Oceans
Speaker 3: Fall Apart or something, and it's a really nice song,
Speaker 3: but it more speaks to ocean, you know it.
Speaker 2: I love that song and may far. That song's amazing.
Speaker 2: But you see influencers now doing like inspirational videos with
Speaker 2: that song underneath they have.
Speaker 3: No idea like it is not it's a religious song
Speaker 3: and it's also by a heel song who are hugely homophobiical.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I know exactly what song you're talking about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But there my complex is singing.
Speaker 3: It's so funny because now obviously doing Howard Fine and
Speaker 3: working and acting, we're teaching your learning.
Speaker 1: How to use your voice.
Speaker 3: And I don't know if I actually had mentioned this
Speaker 3: on the previous episodes, but I had a big breakthrough
Speaker 3: with my voice where I went to a range that
Speaker 3: I'd never gone to before. So my voice teacher, so
Speaker 3: we had to do this exercise, which seems so terrifying.
Speaker 3: People say that actors they're the people that are running
Speaker 3: into the burning building. So actors are putting themselves in
Speaker 3: the fire pretty much right every single time they're doing
Speaker 3: a character. So with boys, we have to learn to
Speaker 3: put ourselves there right. And this exercise was we had
Speaker 3: to sing our name, so you had to sit in
Speaker 3: a seat facing the stage, compose yourself, walk down the stage,
Speaker 3: turn around to everyone, and sing your name in front
Speaker 3: of everyone, like sing it.
Speaker 2: And I was terrified.
Speaker 3: Every time I say that to someone, someone is like
Speaker 3: that sounds like my absolute nightmare.
Speaker 1: And I'm having to.
Speaker 3: Do this and it's fine because I did it, but
Speaker 3: I felt like this energy in my chest like obviously
Speaker 3: it's anxiety but also probably trauma. But it was all
Speaker 3: these emotions and I just was I was just pretty
Speaker 3: honest and vulnerable and said, look, I don't know what
Speaker 3: it is. I just feel like this heavy chest part.
Speaker 3: And so she took me to the wall, which is
Speaker 3: like the black wall in the studio, and I had
Speaker 3: to yell at it to scream, but not scream from
Speaker 3: my throat, scream from my belly, like a real primal yell,
Speaker 3: you know, like a mother yelling for her baby if
Speaker 3: there was something.
Speaker 1: Happened, you know.
Speaker 3: And I had to do that until my voice got
Speaker 3: to a point where it went like it dipped.
Speaker 1: And it was so weird. It was such a weird experience.
Speaker 2: So fucking cooked.
Speaker 1: I agree.
Speaker 2: Acting training is cooked. Like if you had no context,
Speaker 2: walked past the studio, looked and saw what actors were doing,
Speaker 2: you would call the cops. You like, somebody helped these people.
Speaker 2: They're bad, somebody locked them up, Like I know, no context.
Speaker 2: Acting class is just womba.
Speaker 3: We're literally doing improvisation at the moment and it's fucking
Speaker 3: It is so fun, but at the same time, it's
Speaker 3: so cooked. But this is a thing they say, right
Speaker 3: and you would know, is that they break you down
Speaker 3: to build you up. And you're right in so many
Speaker 3: ways with it looking a bit one bar, a bit crazy,
Speaker 3: But I have never felt better in my own ability
Speaker 3: in terms of what I bring to being an actor
Speaker 3: in some way.
Speaker 2: Nice, Yeah, because it comes down to truth and tapping
Speaker 2: into honesty, and like I find that with acting there's
Speaker 2: always a part of myself that I need to go
Speaker 2: to to get to like the conviction that I feel
Speaker 2: is going to be believed. And I remember in acting school.
Speaker 2: I got to my first week of acting school and
Speaker 2: we're walking through the halls of whoppap and it felt like,
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've seen the movie Fame, it
Speaker 2: felt like it was like you're walking, You're looking in
Speaker 2: each door and somebody is just, you know, going at it,
Speaker 2: whether it's playing a trumpet over here, doing ballet lessons
Speaker 2: over here, dancing over there, other people doing improvisation in
Speaker 2: this room. And one of the rooms we got to,
Speaker 2: all the students were completely naked.
Speaker 1: Clo top of each other or standing or sitting.
Speaker 2: Well, it wasn't quite an orgy. It was.
Speaker 1: It was like, we are not doing that. Fun is
Speaker 1: not doing naked.
Speaker 2: And they shouldn't. This was a prank that was pulled
Speaker 2: by a class of actors to intimidate the first years
Speaker 2: that are coming in. And it was a tradition that
Speaker 2: was done every year at whop Up. So the first
Speaker 2: years come and they're doing this tour of the school
Speaker 2: and they get to this one classroom and everyone's naked
Speaker 2: and it's like that's what in their head is what
Speaker 2: they have to do, and they just shit themselves.
Speaker 1: That is such a cruel prank, but also it's.
Speaker 2: Cruel and it's also like fucked up, and it's also
Speaker 2: psychologically like disturbing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and also how uncomfortable the people that also have
Speaker 3: to contribute. Like I get if you're comfortable, that's fine,
Speaker 3: but also imagine being a part of the class and
Speaker 3: being like, hey, this is what we're gonna do.
Speaker 1: Like I'd be like get fucked.
Speaker 2: Like it's normally the third years, so the people who
Speaker 2: are in their final year, who have seen every bit
Speaker 2: of each other's body years and never lived together and
Speaker 2: probably fucked each everyone throughout the classroom, you.
Speaker 1: Know, like we have intimacic coordinative.
Speaker 2: Now, the industry is changing and I'm glad for it,
Speaker 2: but that that was one of my first experiences that Whopper,
Speaker 2: and I was like acting is fucked also it's a
Speaker 2: mind game, you know, like in those initial years, it's
Speaker 2: like trying to break your fucking brain in some of
Speaker 2: these classes. But I don't know, how do you finding
Speaker 2: it in terms of when you walk out of the door,
Speaker 2: you able to leave it there or do you like
Speaker 2: go home and be like what did I do today?
Speaker 2: Am I see?
Speaker 1: I'm like classic.
Speaker 3: Overachiever slash, you know, like a bit of a nerd
Speaker 3: in some ways.
Speaker 1: So I go home and there are some days.
Speaker 3: When I'm absolutely ref depending on what we've ended on,
Speaker 3: where I'll just crash out. I think my first week,
Speaker 3: I actually fell asleep on the floor in my land
Speaker 3: room in the sun like a little lizard, like close
Speaker 3: to the glass, like I was just so cooked. And
Speaker 3: now I'm probably more in that and analytical stage where
Speaker 3: I know I've learned the foundations now and like I'm
Speaker 3: working and using the techniques that we've been taught to
Speaker 3: because we're at the moment doing scene study, which is
Speaker 3: really exciting. So I'm playing a character called Georgie, and
Speaker 3: Georgie and I are very similar. She grew up in
Speaker 3: the Bronx, now she's in Boston. She's self made. There's
Speaker 3: this big power play thing with her and her boss
Speaker 3: and this guy who's her neighbor who is married, and
Speaker 3: obviously they love each other.
Speaker 1: I'm in love with him, but he's engaged, etc. Like
Speaker 1: there's this old, big debacle.
Speaker 2: This sound like it.
Speaker 1: Sounds like my life.
Speaker 3: If I've been honest home literally, I'm been there and
Speaker 3: done that. Next now it's called spark Hills.
Speaker 1: Have you ever heard of it?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: I don't think so. Nu.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you would actually love the play Like
Speaker 3: it's a real power feminist. There's so much to it
Speaker 3: that you could take it wherever if you wanted to.
Speaker 3: And Georgie's you know, from the Bronx now in Boston,
Speaker 3: and she wears his spike heels which look like sort
Speaker 3: of medieval looking contraption type things. And you know, I'm sexy,
Speaker 3: I'm I love sex.
Speaker 1: I have many one night stands.
Speaker 3: And this is Georgie playing by the way, So don't
Speaker 3: even cut this and make it out like I'm just.
Speaker 1: Telling you who I am. The truth comes in.
Speaker 2: Make sure you know what you got to do.
Speaker 3: I haven't had a one night stand in ages. I've
Speaker 3: been on a drought. If I'm being honest, Yeah, not dating,
Speaker 3: not seeing anyone. Everyone get fucked and fuck away from me.
Speaker 1: Happy day. This is good.
Speaker 2: I'm glad to hear it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, everyone fuck off for you. Are you listening
Speaker 1: to this? Earone needs to get the fuck away from me.
Speaker 2: I love it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyways, you're okay? Yeah, I'm sure. My black cat.
Speaker 2: Error, Oh my god, don't even start on the fuck
Speaker 2: black cat.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's talk about black cat theory.
Speaker 3: This is a new theory that has been trending. It
Speaker 3: has honestly been blowing up my fucking TikTok feed, but
Speaker 3: I keep going back.
Speaker 1: To it and thinking about it.
Speaker 3: So the theory is is the black cat and Golden
Speaker 3: retriever theory. It's a dating theory, so it's about relationships,
Speaker 3: and it's not just about romantic relationships. You can also
Speaker 3: use this in friendship relationships too. They say that black
Speaker 3: cats and golden retrievers work really well in terms of
Speaker 3: because of the dynamic. But they're sort of contrast energies,
Speaker 3: so I would say they're complementary to one another.
Speaker 2: But they only work well supposedly according to this theory.
Speaker 2: And this TikTok person named Enna Christina, and she has
Speaker 2: a whole master class on it it only. She speaks
Speaker 2: very much specifically about heteronormative relationships dynamic, but she says
Speaker 2: that the dynamic only works if the woman is the
Speaker 2: black cat and the man is the Golden Retriever. I
Speaker 2: think that this dynamic can work outside of that constraint.
Speaker 2: Like I think about gay relationships, and I feel like
Speaker 2: there's always I don't want to use the term like
Speaker 2: masculine and feminine energy. I want to use more like
Speaker 2: people who seek to be more the driver, you know,
Speaker 2: and the person who likes to be taken care of, And.
Speaker 3: There's different There's so many different ways as you can
Speaker 3: describe someone in personalities, right, but there are so many
Speaker 3: different ways and balances in a relationships. It doesn't always
Speaker 3: have to be a masculine feminine sort of energy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, let's describe the two different energies. Your black
Speaker 2: cat is someone who's unbothered, borderline selfish, prioritizes themselves above
Speaker 2: everyone else, and is a little bit like I don't
Speaker 2: give a fuck attitude and what you're like projecting onto
Speaker 2: me isn't going to affect me at all, like unbothered,
Speaker 2: you know. And the golden retriever is the always trying
Speaker 2: to make it up, or the happy go lucky, always
Speaker 2: excited to see them, perhaps a little bit you know,
Speaker 2: over the top and a little bit naive, and somebody
Speaker 2: who's always trying to win them over. I suppose, and
Speaker 2: I have to say, I'm a fucking golden retriever in
Speaker 2: and out?
Speaker 1: Why do you say this?
Speaker 3: Because I just my argument is that I think I
Speaker 3: agree of this dynamic and this theory to a certain level,
Speaker 3: but I do believe that humans and people are way
Speaker 3: more complex than just this. But this is a theory
Speaker 3: obviously based in relationships and a dynamic that can work
Speaker 3: and be really successful. So I do understand that not
Speaker 3: everyone's going to believe us about this, and we're not
Speaker 3: some experts on it, but and in Christine says that
Speaker 3: there are some really successful relationships that do work because
Speaker 3: of this theory.
Speaker 1: Why do you say that you're a gold and what
Speaker 1: defines you as a golden retriever?
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm someone who always wants things to
Speaker 2: be smoothed, so I always come to the table with
Speaker 2: a solution, or I'm someone who if I feel like
Speaker 2: there is an issue, I will be the person to say, hey,
Speaker 2: let's talk about it. Let's fix it. What's wrong with you?
Speaker 2: Can I help you? What can I do to change?
Speaker 2: Like I feel like I'm always coming to the table
Speaker 2: with solutions instead of being like, oh, well, fuck trying
Speaker 2: to fix this. I'm going to let you sort your
Speaker 2: shit out and I'm going to act unbothered and walk
Speaker 2: away because I've tried it and I've tested it, and
Speaker 2: I'm the person who ends up getting upset because I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm too cold, I'm too negative, Like I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm hurting the other person's feelings and that
Speaker 2: to me, doesn't sit well with me. So I feel
Speaker 2: like the Golden Retriever resonates more with me because I'm
Speaker 2: a bit soft.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope it happy go lucky kind of energy,
Speaker 3: like more optimistic energy, a bit more, but also.
Speaker 2: Like a little bit in a relationship dynamic. For instance,
Speaker 2: I'll give you an example my current relationship. My partner,
Speaker 2: I would say, is quite black.
Speaker 1: Cat energy, and I describe him as.
Speaker 2: A So somebody who I feel like holds their cards
Speaker 2: close to their chest, doesn't give their power away, doesn't
Speaker 2: allow you into much so that you have enough detail
Speaker 2: to be able to, I don't know, like relieve them
Speaker 2: from their power. It's just like I don't want to
Speaker 2: say cold, because I don't think they're cold, but I
Speaker 2: feel like they are very like they can be very
Speaker 2: shut off with emotions and like have you arm's length
Speaker 2: the weight and act like if nothing bothers them. And
Speaker 2: I actually have been like trying to take more of
Speaker 2: that on. I'm like, Okay, I'm going to like test
Speaker 2: the waters, right, yeah, test the waters and see how
Speaker 2: it works when I'm that way. And I did it
Speaker 2: and I didn't feel good.
Speaker 1: You're like, this does not fit me. Okay, what am
Speaker 1: I am? I think I'm a black cat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I reckon, Yeah, I'm I'm.
Speaker 1: Literally wearing black today. Ironically.
Speaker 3: See, there's another theory that I've also listened to. Someone
Speaker 3: has to love the other person more so then I
Speaker 3: feel like the other person is kind of chasing in
Speaker 3: a sense. And I feel like this that theory is
Speaker 3: a little bit similar in this black Cat Golden Retriever,
Speaker 3: like where the Golden Retriever is like chasing this black
Speaker 3: cat and never can kind of like grab at it completely.
Speaker 3: And more recently, I mean, I think different dynamics when
Speaker 3: you meet different people. But I think I'm a black
Speaker 3: cat energy by myself. But I think when I'm in
Speaker 3: a relationship, I give so much, so I don't think
Speaker 3: I am a black cat in a relationship.
Speaker 1: I'm the golden retriever.
Speaker 3: I'm the happy, go lucky like wanna make memories and
Speaker 3: do positive things, and I don't feel like I've completely
Speaker 3: got all of them at hand, which is very representative
Speaker 3: of the relationships I've previously been in it right.
Speaker 2: Which also stands to sort of attest to this theory
Speaker 2: that the woman has to be the black cat if
Speaker 2: it's successful, because you haven't found success that much success
Speaker 2: in relationship and so maybe because you are the golden retriever,
Speaker 2: you need to switch that shit be the black cat
Speaker 2: and then maybe it'll work. Well.
Speaker 3: No, I agree, because the thing is, I also have
Speaker 3: just this energy where I just I actually right now
Speaker 3: don't give a fuck about anyone in terms of my
Speaker 3: people that I love and work with, et cetera. But yeah,
Speaker 3: and I've had the most attention in the last couple
Speaker 3: of months, and I've ever had pretty much even more
Speaker 3: during the bachelorette, to be fair with you, and I've
Speaker 3: not bitten. All the fishing are biding and I'm not
Speaker 3: fishing because I just cannot be bothered and I've got
Speaker 3: shit to do and I want someone to chase me.
Speaker 1: I don't want someone.
Speaker 3: And I actually genuinely met someone who was like chasing me,
Speaker 3: and then all of a.
Speaker 2: Sudden, all the stuff chasing you, like, have they long like.
Speaker 3: Where's my flowers? And where arem I Like, where's the romance?
Speaker 1: Like where's the nice things?
Speaker 3: Not that I am like high maintenance, but it's like
Speaker 3: and then this is the thing, this is a cop
Speaker 3: out that I had more recently, is that I literally
Speaker 3: communicated with someone I was like, I just don't really
Speaker 3: feel like you desire me enough in it any way,
Speaker 3: Like you're not really chasing So then I'm like, well.
Speaker 1: I don't really, I don't.
Speaker 3: I feel like I know what I'm bringing to the table,
Speaker 3: but like what do you bring into the table. And
Speaker 3: we had the conversation and the blame that I got
Speaker 3: because I am so busy and made and gaslighted and
Speaker 3: made me feel like as if, like my life is
Speaker 3: too busy to have a relationship. Yeah, probably it is,
Speaker 3: but for the right person it wouldn't be that, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So it's like I have been.
Speaker 3: A black Cat in so many other areas. But I
Speaker 3: think I I switch out of black Cat because I
Speaker 3: have to in order to let someone in in the
Speaker 3: first instance, and then they I get I let them in,
Speaker 3: and then they're like, nah, I don't want you.
Speaker 2: Nah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean, Like it changes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I just won't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's my thing, does not care anytime.
Speaker 2: I think it's hard to do when you're somebody who
Speaker 2: naturally cares.
Speaker 3: Say you're sensitive, like you're not sensitive in a suky.
Speaker 2: I'm sensitive, but I am, and you know what, I'm
Speaker 2: happy to be sensitive. That means I feel the feels
Speaker 2: and like exactly at the end of the day, I
Speaker 2: care a lot, and in my relationships in particular, I
Speaker 2: do want the person to feel safe. I want them
Speaker 2: to feel secure. I want them to feel like respected.
Speaker 2: And I think with the whole Golden Retriever black Cat energy,
Speaker 2: sometimes I feel like if that dynamic, which I don't
Speaker 2: think is the dynamic I will want in a relationship,
Speaker 2: and I don't know how much like I agree with
Speaker 2: Christina that this needs to be the dynamic for a
Speaker 2: relationship to work, because for me, I like equal playing
Speaker 2: field I don't need to be someone to be chasing
Speaker 2: me or me to be chasing them. I actually just
Speaker 2: need respect. And like what respect looks like to me
Speaker 2: is that if you respect someone, you're going to make
Speaker 2: choices based on that respect. And if you don't respect someone,
Speaker 2: then you're going to make choices that are going to
Speaker 2: hurt that person or you know, you're going to be
Speaker 2: you're not going to be loyal, or you're not going
Speaker 2: to be kind to them. But when I have respect
Speaker 2: in a relationship, I feel like other things that come
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 3: That should be the basis of a relationship, right, there
Speaker 3: are so many other things that come into play when
Speaker 3: it's a serious and successful relationship.
Speaker 1: Like you said, mutual respect.
Speaker 3: I think Chantelle Otten says that this theory isn't new,
Speaker 3: and it could be it could be damaging in some
Speaker 3: ways if you constantly focus on it. And I guess
Speaker 3: why I kept coming back to it. I was like,
Speaker 3: is this an actual legitimate thing or have I got
Speaker 3: it completely wrong? Because I, like I said, Yah, humans
Speaker 3: and relationships and people are so much more complex than that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what does the perfect relationship in terms of dynamic?
Speaker 2: If you were to, you know, draw that this in
Speaker 2: your dream, in your vision board, what does it look like? Like?
Speaker 1: Know, I'm really finding it really difficult.
Speaker 3: I don't know what it is because different dynamics haven't
Speaker 3: and have worked. But the thing is, I've also been
Speaker 3: in different times in my life. I keep referring back
Speaker 3: to a relationship I had in twenty nineteen where the
Speaker 3: dynamic was actually just like so perfect, but values were
Speaker 3: compromised and non negotiables, you know what I mean. So
Speaker 3: everything else could be really perfect in terms of dynamic,
Speaker 3: h but if the values and there's some non negotiables,
Speaker 3: then yeah, you have.
Speaker 1: To just accept that. So that's what I mean.
Speaker 3: It's so complex and that and I think for my dynamic,
Speaker 3: I don't know, because I don't even want a relationship
Speaker 3: with my.
Speaker 2: One thing that I'm learning in my relationship right now
Speaker 2: is that ego plays a role in dynamic. You know.
Speaker 1: I hate that word.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so do I. And I feel like when ego
Speaker 2: comes into play, it's almost like you have to stop
Speaker 2: drop and roll and be like absolutely abort the fucking
Speaker 2: mission because it's the.
Speaker 1: End of drop and roll and get the fuck out
Speaker 1: of my door. That's what it was.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm not that easy to like let them go.
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, what I'm talking about is if you
Speaker 2: get into a dispute with a partner at home and
Speaker 2: you start it turns into an ego fight that at
Speaker 2: some point you have to then combat that with love,
Speaker 2: whether it is like going in and giving them a
Speaker 2: cud or not saying anything and just being there even
Speaker 2: though you fucking hate you know, what they just said
Speaker 2: or what you've just said, and you hate giving in
Speaker 2: or you hate surrendering to to an issue that you
Speaker 2: don't even think you're a part, like that was your issue.
Speaker 2: I still think that, like what I'm learning is that
Speaker 2: like loving someone in those really yucky moments is more
Speaker 2: helpful than going fuck you, I'm going to go and
Speaker 2: you know, do something that's going to affect our relationship
Speaker 2: or I'm going to ignore you or I'm gonna leave you.
Speaker 2: There's this something like that I'm having this learning at
Speaker 2: the moment about and it comes down to respect, like
Speaker 2: just still respect that person. If you still respect that
Speaker 2: person even though you're having a fight, you can love
Speaker 2: them in that moment anyway.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I completely agree with you.
Speaker 3: I think in the times where I think ego has
Speaker 3: had the biggest impact, has led to a breakup. If
Speaker 3: I've been honest in my situations, I David and I
Speaker 3: pure ego Nick and I ego Yeah, many of times, and.
Speaker 2: That's what leads to really bad decisions in life, not
Speaker 2: just relationships ego people not want to put their pride aside.
Speaker 2: But like, at the end of the day, if you
Speaker 2: really like someone, the dynamic I think is fluid. It
Speaker 2: has to shift. It can't be always someone as one
Speaker 2: way or there's one approach, for instance, the black cat
Speaker 2: fucking Golden Retriever theory. For me, that wouldn't work because
Speaker 2: even though I'm the Golden Retriever and I'm chasing, there
Speaker 2: are still parts of me that needs to be chased
Speaker 2: or needs to feel like I've got that.
Speaker 1: Q yeah yeah, yeah of course.
Speaker 2: So like for me, it wouldn't work. And I think
Speaker 2: that like this is more of like Anna Christina wanting
Speaker 2: women to feel empowered in their relationships, and honestly, I
Speaker 2: know what that feels like. It feels like for a
Speaker 2: woman to have to feel like they need to hear
Speaker 2: be back.
Speaker 3: That's why I think it is like such a trending
Speaker 3: thing at the moment because I think from what we're
Speaker 3: looking at TikTok and.
Speaker 1: I guess the trend.
Speaker 3: Of videos are a lot of dating videos and women
Speaker 3: talking about their experiences.
Speaker 1: There was a woman that went viral recently because she.
Speaker 3: Got stood up off a hinge date, and yeah, the
Speaker 3: comments section about how relatable this was was insane, like
Speaker 3: in terms of the dating pool out there. And I
Speaker 3: guess Australian men like not to fucking call you out
Speaker 3: again because you're absolutely pathetic. And I honestly I like
Speaker 3: separate queer men from that because or queer people from that,
Speaker 3: because it's the Australian men that are problems at the moment.
Speaker 2: Sorry, but not know what I feel like as a
Speaker 2: queen man if I'm not a part of the solution
Speaker 2: or a part of the problem. So if you're a
Speaker 2: queen person and you're not speaking up against against women,
Speaker 2: well then you're just as bad as the perpetrator.
Speaker 1: One. I agree with you that one.
Speaker 3: But this is the thing, Like the videos that are
Speaker 3: trending on TikTok are usually women expressing their concerns and
Speaker 3: difficulty with dating and how shit it is at the moment,
Speaker 3: and if they can feel empowered in that and they're
Speaker 3: watching and Christina's videos and being like, yes, that's how
Speaker 3: I need to be, and that's going to boost their
Speaker 3: boost their confidence or you know, they're trying something different,
Speaker 3: maybe they're feeling insecure, and then they become.
Speaker 1: Like whatever it is and if that helps them, then
Speaker 1: they're sure. I'm all for that.
Speaker 3: But at the same time, like, don't heavily rely on
Speaker 3: a theory that is so.
Speaker 1: Complex.
Speaker 2: In a way, it's complex, but it also it reminds
Speaker 2: me of game playing, and that's something I hate doing
Speaker 2: a relationship is game playing. So when I realized that
Speaker 2: there's a game a tennis come like with metaphor within
Speaker 2: the relationship, and there's this little game, whether it's social
Speaker 2: media tactics, whether it's you know, passive aggressiveness, that they
Speaker 2: will give you a nudge here and play this little
Speaker 2: game of manipulating your emotions. I hate that shit. And
Speaker 2: so sometimes this reminds me of putting the pressure on
Speaker 2: a woman to have to play a game to then
Speaker 2: feel in control of a man's emotions. And to me,
Speaker 2: that's a lot of pressure, whether you're a woman or a.
Speaker 1: Man, Like, don't waste your time, Honestly, they don't notice.
Speaker 2: But but a video when she describes you know, there's
Speaker 2: two scenarios. She's like, don't be the girl who arrives
Speaker 2: at the party early, who stays and cleans up and
Speaker 2: helps you know him, put the food out, do the dishes,
Speaker 2: and then leave at the end of the party. Be
Speaker 2: the girl who doesn't arrive at the party or arrives
Speaker 2: really late and leaves early and goes home. That's me
Speaker 2: And like, to me, if I was a woman listening
Speaker 2: to that, I'll be thinking, kind of, just be my
Speaker 2: fucking self. But can't I just live within my truth
Speaker 2: and whatever that means? But like, is it really that hard?
Speaker 2: Like there's this dynamic that needs to come into play.
Speaker 2: It's like a rule book. Isn't that so much pressure?
Speaker 1: Exactly? But this is a thing.
Speaker 3: I know it seems like games, but this is a
Speaker 3: thing in dating at the moment.
Speaker 1: And from what I've realized and.
Speaker 3: From what I've learned, is that there is such a
Speaker 3: matter of games in this. It's like it is such
Speaker 3: a dog eat dog world out there in terms of no, seriously,
Speaker 3: it's actually so fucked It sounds.
Speaker 2: Like it's a black cat eat dog world.
Speaker 3: Yes, And I'll fucking eat your live because I'm not
Speaker 3: about the games. I'm also about being in genuine self.
Speaker 3: And if I was fucking late, I chose to be late.
Speaker 3: Fuck it, Like who cares. Don't overthink it, stop overanalyzing,
Speaker 3: and stop being a fucking pussy or a bull sack,
Speaker 3: because a strong ball sacks are fucking little sensitive fuckers
Speaker 3: that if they get touched they hurt.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, well you know, allright, no offense, Maddie.
Speaker 3: I know you've got pair of balls, but I love you,
Speaker 3: and I think you've got big balls involved.
Speaker 2: I am, and but you know what, I am sensitive,
Speaker 2: and I feel like if I was in a relationship
Speaker 2: and my girlfriend was constantly arriving late or disrespecting my time,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, see ya bye, gotta go catch her later.
Speaker 2: Like I'm not the type that's going to sit around
Speaker 2: and be like, oh, you know what, you do what
Speaker 2: you want to do, and I'll do what I want
Speaker 2: to do. And you disrespecting my time isn't going.
Speaker 3: To be like communicate, though, this is the thing I
Speaker 3: would analyze.
Speaker 2: To communicate, I definitely would be like, Okay, well that's okay,
Speaker 2: no worries, you can keep on doing that. Like absolutely fun.
Speaker 2: And now I'd be like, girl, you need to pick
Speaker 2: up your game otherwise I'm out. Well, that's all we
Speaker 2: have to dine for today. Thanks for listening to First
Speaker 2: things first, if you love us, leave us a little
Speaker 2: rating or a little review.
Speaker 3: And if you want us to cover anything on the
Speaker 3: pod or anything interesting that you see and look like
Speaker 3: us to talk about, reach out via our socials. My
Speaker 3: handles that brooked up Letten and Maddie's handle is that
Speaker 3: it's Manny Meals and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 1: Bye.