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Speaker 1: I'll get our team. Welcome to another installment of the

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Speaker 1: You Project. Jim Murphy, Welcome to the land down Under,

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Speaker 1: if not literally virtually.

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Speaker 2: How are you? I'm great? Thanks Cregil.

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Speaker 1: Ha ha. I knew I shouldn't have told you that.

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Speaker 1: I was telling everyone before we went live. I was

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Speaker 1: telling Jim everyone that about how Australians tend to mutilate

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Speaker 1: names and chuck a Y on the end or an

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Speaker 1: O on the end, or abbreviate your surnames. So I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be calling you Jim Bow throughout the whole podcast,

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Speaker 1: just to get back at you. Tell my listeners where

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Speaker 1: you are and what time is it over there? It's

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Speaker 1: in the PM right, yeah, Sarah Creigil, I am in

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Speaker 1: New York City. Just I say New York City right now.

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Speaker 1: I've done here yesterday from Chicago.

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Speaker 2: Okay? Perfect?

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Speaker 1: And how's the how's the meteoric rise to fame and

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Speaker 1: recognition and attention.

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Speaker 2: It since I mean early this year?

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Speaker 1: I think we'll talk about it because most of Australians

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Speaker 1: won't know the story and with respect.

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Speaker 2: Won't know you, but a lot of them will.

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Speaker 1: Now, how's it been having a big kind of shift

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Speaker 1: in your reality?

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Speaker 2: From a public perspective, it's been amazing, you know, right

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Speaker 2: off the bat, the first week January twelfth is when

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Speaker 2: everything started with aj Brown and being reading the book

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Speaker 2: on the sidelines and being filmed, and that week it

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Speaker 2: was it was It's been an incredible change in my

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Speaker 2: life since then, with the message of inter excellence going

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Speaker 2: around the world. It's going to be in twenty five

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Speaker 2: languages this coming year. But the main message of interactionence

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Speaker 2: is what's important, not Jim Murphy and the messages, is

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Speaker 2: that cling to your life and lose it and give

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Speaker 2: up your life for others and gain it selfless is fearless.

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Speaker 2: And this is the most important thing, not not what

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Speaker 2: happens to this guy here.

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Speaker 1: It isn't I mean, one hundred percent, and I love that.

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Speaker 1: But also it's been great that this attention and recognition

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Speaker 1: and as the kids would say, brand awareness. You know,

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Speaker 1: you're a brand, Jim, brand awareness. I mean, it gives

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Speaker 1: you a platform to share these ideas and your ideology

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Speaker 1: and philosophy, you know. So it is really about the message,

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Speaker 1: not the messenger. But it must be great to have

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Speaker 1: the capacity to intersect and interact with millions of people,

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Speaker 1: not thousands.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, incredible gifts from God that I can hopefully be

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Speaker 2: a part of someone's lives, someone's lives and help them

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Speaker 2: have a transformed heart.

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Speaker 1: So could you just tell I mean, I know the story,

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Speaker 1: but my listeners who don't know the story. So you

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Speaker 1: wrote a book. Jim's book is called Inner Excellence Achieve

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Speaker 1: Extraordinary Business Success through Mental Toughness.

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Speaker 2: Did I get all of that? Correct? Yeah, that's exactly

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Speaker 2: what it was from two thousand and nine, the book

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Speaker 2: that was first published by McGraw hill, and then I

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Speaker 2: got to write in twenty eighteen and I self published

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Speaker 2: in twenty twenty. So the book that Aj Brown read

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Speaker 2: on National TV and during the Super Bowl was any

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Speaker 2: Excellence train your mind for extraordinary performance in the best

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Speaker 2: possible life. Correct.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, I've got that underneath my other night. I should

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Speaker 1: have read that, not to self. So just give my

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Speaker 1: audience a quick insight into January twelve this year. So

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Speaker 1: what for those who don't know the story, let us

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Speaker 1: know what happened.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Sure. There's an NFL football player named AJ Brown

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Speaker 2: and he plays for the Philadelphia Eagles. He's, if not

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Speaker 2: the best wide receiver in the NFL, one of the

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Speaker 2: best in the NFL. And he was filmed during a

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Speaker 2: playoff game, the Wildcard game, which is the first round

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Speaker 2: of the playoffs, reading the book during the game. And

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Speaker 2: so they asked him afterwards, you know, you know, the

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Speaker 2: announcers zoomed in on it and said, wow, what's going

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Speaker 2: on here? This is very unique. They interviewed him after

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Speaker 2: the game and they said, you know, why were you reading?

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Speaker 2: Were you frustrated or what's going on? And he said, oh,

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Speaker 2: I bring that book in Excellence with me to every

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Speaker 2: single game. I use it to get prepared and centered

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Speaker 2: before the game. I read it after every drive during

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Speaker 2: the game. It gets me centered and that's why I

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Speaker 2: read it. And he said to you know, my teammates

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Speaker 2: call it the recipe. And so that was the start

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Speaker 2: in January twelfth, and then then they filmed them reading

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Speaker 2: it every game in the playoffs and including during the

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Speaker 2: Super Bowl. And have you subsequently met with him? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: amazing guy, very humble, gentle guy. And so it was

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Speaker 2: it was wonderful to get to speak with AJ. So

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Speaker 2: what's his royalty cat? Thirty percent? Has that work? Well? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean I'm so grateful that AJ. See what AJ did,

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Speaker 2: was he he stayed true to himself. You know, you know,

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Speaker 2: if you're going to be reading a book, look on

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Speaker 2: the sidelines during the game, people are going to question you.

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Speaker 2: And what he did is he said, Hey, what I

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Speaker 2: want to do and show the world. You know, whether

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Speaker 2: the world likes it or not, I know they may

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Speaker 2: judge me, but that's up to them. I just want

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Speaker 2: to be true to myself and this book helps me

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Speaker 2: stay centered and focused. And so I'm going to do

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Speaker 2: that regardless of what the world says. It's going to

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Speaker 2: make me a better teammate, a better person, and a

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Speaker 2: better player. And so I'm going to do it even

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Speaker 2: though it may look awkward. And I think that's one

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Speaker 2: thing he showed us that that to be great, you

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Speaker 2: need to take risks, and you know, risk what people

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Speaker 2: think about you. And he also showed us that we

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Speaker 2: all have time to read. Yeah, yeah, did you when

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Speaker 2: you met with him? How does he like?

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Speaker 1: Does he does he have certain paragraphs or certain messages

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Speaker 1: that are highlighted that he just goes back and rereads

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Speaker 1: like a bit of a mantra, or like, clearly he's

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Speaker 1: not just browsing through the book on the sideline.

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Speaker 2: How did it work? Yeah, there's big sections that he

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Speaker 2: has highlighted almost every sentence early on in the book

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Speaker 2: in the first chapter that was really important to him.

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Speaker 2: And so inter Excellence is really about understanding that self

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Speaker 2: centered This is the biggest challenge that we face. It

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Speaker 2: leads to fear and when you're a wide receiver in

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Speaker 2: the NFL, you can't be focusing on your what you

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Speaker 2: want but can't control, and you've got to have this

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Speaker 2: sort of fearlessness and got to be willing to take

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Speaker 2: risks and to fail and put yourself out there if

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Speaker 2: you want to be a great receiver, which he is.

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Speaker 2: And so the book helps him stay centered and do that.

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Speaker 1: What's your understanding of all, Like if you had to

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Speaker 1: try to explain, like my page day is literally in

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Speaker 1: the mind, right, and if even for meta and not

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Speaker 1: that I'm a journius, but even for me to try

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Speaker 1: to explain self awareness and the self regulation and understanding

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Speaker 1: the mind and metacognition and metaperception and all this stuff, right,

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Speaker 1: try to understand the self that's in the middle of me.

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Speaker 1: You know, how do you explain the mind to people?

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Speaker 1: Because part of the toddle of your book is trying

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Speaker 1: your mind. So if we don't understand our mind, we

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Speaker 1: can't try and it rot. How do we understand ourselves

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Speaker 1: knowing that our perspective of everything is a subjective one.

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Speaker 2: The first thing that understand is that you are not

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Speaker 2: your mind. Your mind is a part of you that

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Speaker 2: you need to train. And if you don't understand this,

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Speaker 2: and this is not something that we're taught in school,

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Speaker 2: that I am not my mind, then you're going to

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Speaker 2: fuse with your thoughts. The problem with fusing with your

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Speaker 2: thoughts is you're going to get a lot of thoughts

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Speaker 2: that come from the environment that are really negative and

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Speaker 2: maybe even horrible thoughts that come into your mind. And

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Speaker 2: if you don't understand that I am not my mind,

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Speaker 2: then you're going to think, oh, I just thought a

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Speaker 2: terrible thought. I am a terrible person. And this is

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Speaker 2: absolutely not true. The most compassionate, loving people in the

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Speaker 2: world have terrible thoughts that come into their head from

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Speaker 2: the environment and so sore and understand that you are

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Speaker 2: not your mind, but it's part of you that needs

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Speaker 2: to needs training.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's I mean that awareness that in the

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Speaker 1: moment awareness that you're talking about, which is spot on.

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Speaker 1: It's like realizing that this isn't me. And this doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean I'm a bad person or even a good person necessarily.

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Speaker 1: It just means that I'm having this thought in this

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Speaker 1: moment and to be able to lean into that like

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Speaker 1: I'm always interested what's the origin story of this? Like

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Speaker 1: why is this here now?

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Speaker 2: This thought? Where did this come from?

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Speaker 1: And you know, for me, over the years, it's usually

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Speaker 1: been about insecurity or self doubt or imposter syndrome or

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Speaker 1: a myriad of other negative emotional kind of triggers, and

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Speaker 1: being able to perhaps have a thought like I'm not

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Speaker 1: good enough while actually knowing at the same time I

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Speaker 1: am good enough.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? It's almost this juxtaposition.

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Speaker 2: So I do a lot of.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you stand in front of a lot of groups,

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Speaker 1: but I do a lot of speaking, and I can simultaneously,

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Speaker 1: you know, I did a speaking gig yesterday in Queensland,

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Speaker 1: which is up the top of Australia. We're down the bottom,

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Speaker 1: and as I was being introduced, I often have this feeling,

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Speaker 1: you know, this is the day that you're going to

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Speaker 1: crash and burn. They won't like you know, all this

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Speaker 1: stuff right, It's not overwhelming, but it's just there. This

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Speaker 1: could be the last time, you know. But I've got

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Speaker 1: all this knowledge, I've got all this data that says, well, Craig,

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Speaker 1: you're not terrible at this. You're not terrible. So there's

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Speaker 1: these two things that can coexist. One is this fear

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Speaker 1: that I'm useless. The other is the knowledge that I'm

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Speaker 1: not useless.

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Speaker 2: Right, yeah, And so what inter Excellence says is, let's

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Speaker 2: get out of that whole game altogether, that whole idea altogether.

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Speaker 2: As I am useless, i am not useless. I'm good enough.

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Speaker 2: I'm not good enough. I can do this, I can

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Speaker 2: do this. Let's get out of that altogether and be completelyelfless.

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Speaker 2: Because when you're selfless, you're fearless. And so if I

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Speaker 2: was thinking that I'm the one that's doing this, that

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Speaker 2: I wrote this book, that people are loving all around

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Speaker 2: the world, and that I'm making a difference in people's lives,

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Speaker 2: then it would be very stressful for me. But I

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Speaker 2: don't think I'm doing it. I'm not. I'm just well,

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Speaker 2: First of all, the book is just this compilation of

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Speaker 2: ideas that I didn't create. I just put them together

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Speaker 2: and God helped me put them together. And every good

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Speaker 2: thing I've ever done was God gave me this gift

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Speaker 2: that I've been sharing and being able to be a

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Speaker 2: part of. And so I don't want any self confidence whatsoever.

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Speaker 2: I don't even want to think about Jim at all.

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Speaker 2: I want to be completely selfless and therefore fearless. I

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Speaker 2: want to be trusting God, not Jim, the creator of

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Speaker 2: the universe, not me, and so I don't want to

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Speaker 2: be in the picture of whatsoever.

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Speaker 1: I love that kind of like I'm not the solution.

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Speaker 1: I'm just pointing to the solution. And I love that

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Speaker 1: you said that none of these ideas or none of

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Speaker 1: the wisdom comes from you, it comes through you, kind

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Speaker 1: of thing, right, which I think is so true.

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Speaker 2: And it's funny.

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Speaker 1: I talk about often the like the wisdom that comes

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Speaker 1: out of in your case, that comes out of the

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Speaker 1: Bible specifically, probably more relevant a New Testament for most

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Speaker 1: of us, but the Old Testament as well, but even

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Speaker 1: you know the Stoics and all of these insights and

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Speaker 1: all of this wisdom. It's it's like Socrates said two

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Speaker 1: and a half thousand years ago, the beginning of wisdom

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Speaker 1: is to know thyself, right, And I'm like, well, that's

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Speaker 1: literally part of my research. There's nothing new here, Like

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Speaker 1: we've been trying to figure ourselves out for millennia for

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Speaker 1: probably you know, millions of years, I guess, but or

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Speaker 1: millennia let's go six and a half thousand years biblically.

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Speaker 1: But you know, trying to understand why I am the

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Speaker 1: way I am and where do I finish and where

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Speaker 1: does the other stuff start? You know's the what's me?

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Speaker 1: What's not me?

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Speaker 2: And yeah, that's kind of It's a really interesting thought,

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Speaker 2: is to.

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Speaker 1: Not take pride in what you're doing or not to

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Speaker 1: be proud in that negative sense.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can share a little bit more about that,

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Speaker 2: Craig if you like. So as a performance coach, professional

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Speaker 2: athletes and Olympic athletes come to me to perform better,

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Speaker 2: and one thing that they often want is more confidence.

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Speaker 2: It was surprised to me when I first started working

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Speaker 2: with elite athletes that are some of the best in

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Speaker 2: the world. For a top ten player in the world

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Speaker 2: on the PGA Tour or whoever, saying they want more

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Speaker 2: confidence seems strange because they're, you know, already one of

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Speaker 2: the best. And what I found in my experience is

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Speaker 2: that there's something that's that's much more powerful than confidence.

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Speaker 2: And like I said, I don't even want to be

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Speaker 2: self confident. What's more powerful than confidence is presence. And

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Speaker 2: if you fully engaged heart, mind and body and attached

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Speaker 2: to what you're trying to do, then I'll take that person.

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Speaker 2: If we have two people of equal talent, I'll take

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Speaker 2: that person every time over someone who's confident, because because

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Speaker 2: when you're confident, you can be careless. But when you're

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Speaker 2: fully engaged, fully present in the moment, then you're going

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Speaker 2: to see way more opportunities and there's no fear in

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Speaker 2: the present moment. Fear is in general a self focused

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Speaker 2: future thing of what's going to happen to me. And

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Speaker 2: so that's how I think about confidence and presence.

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Speaker 1: How do we I know this nine to three step

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Speaker 1: plan neither is there with pretty much anything.

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Speaker 2: But how do we how do we be more present?

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Speaker 1: How do we I agree with you, but just telling

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Speaker 1: somebody don't be nervous, don't be fearful, is not a solution.

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Speaker 1: It's like somebody is fearful, somebody who is overthinking, Like

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Speaker 1: telling them to not overthink in a solution.

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Speaker 2: So how do we move towards interaxcellence? Really the whole

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Speaker 2: system of inner excellence. You know, the book is like

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Speaker 2: three hundred pages or something. It's really about that, answering

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Speaker 2: that question, how do I become fully present in a

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Speaker 2: world with so much out of my control, like my

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Speaker 2: careers on the line. How can I be fully present?

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Speaker 2: In fact, that was the question that I asked sports

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Speaker 2: psychologists when I first started off on this quest with

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Speaker 2: You know, I spent five years full time writing and researching,

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Speaker 2: fifty to sixty hours a week for five years in

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Speaker 2: a row, two and a half years in the desert

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Speaker 2: give away. Over half my possessions went to go live

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Speaker 2: a life of solitude, got rid of my TV. And

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Speaker 2: that question was how can an Olympic athlete train for

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Speaker 2: four years from an event that may last less than

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Speaker 2: a minute and have peace and confidence in that situation.

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Speaker 2: And that's what inter excellence is in one sense, largely about,

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Speaker 2: is how do we do that? And there's many aspects

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Speaker 2: to that, but it's really getting down to understand human

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Speaker 2: behavior and human optimization and human behavior is understanding that

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Speaker 2: the heart is the key to your life. And this

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Speaker 2: is the first thing, the first major breakthrough that I

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Speaker 2: learned in the five years of writing and research is

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Speaker 2: that if you want to make a difference in your

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Speaker 2: life or in anyone's life, you have to get far

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Speaker 2: more than your mind. We have to get to the heart.

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Speaker 2: And when I say heart, I mean your spirit and

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Speaker 2: your will and you doing your PhD in neuropsychology correct.

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Speaker 2: I think this is the number one thing that as

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Speaker 2: you continue to study, is to really add to your

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Speaker 2: research is the heart and your will and your spirit

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Speaker 2: and heart. I use some swords interchangeably, and it's how

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Speaker 2: do we train the heart? Because when you squeeze, what's

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Speaker 2: in your heart comes out, just like when you squeeze

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Speaker 2: an orange, what comes out is orange juice. Your heart

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Speaker 2: is the source of everything you think, say and do

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Speaker 2: in concert with your subconscious mind. And so we want

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Speaker 2: to get that heart to love most what's most empowering.

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Speaker 2: And this is what inter excellence is. And then when

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Speaker 2: you as you continue to do that every day, the

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Speaker 2: number one goal with inter excellence is to learn and

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Speaker 2: grow every day. A big part of self awareness and

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Speaker 2: the number one thing of that self awareness are One

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Speaker 2: of the number one things is to understand that my

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Speaker 2: greatest need as a human is for love and acceptance.

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Speaker 2: And similarly, the greatest fear is to not get that

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Speaker 2: love and acceptance, to get rejection, rejected, And so that's

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Speaker 2: why there's so much anxiety. A big reason why there's

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Speaker 2: so much anxiety in the world today is because if

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Speaker 2: I fail, if I look foolish, I'm going to get

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Speaker 2: judged in a huge way because everyone can see it

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Speaker 2: on social media, is going to get replayed over and over,

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Speaker 2: and then I'm going to get rejected, which is the

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Speaker 2: biggest fear. Do you think sometimes I love that? Thank you?

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Speaker 1: Do you think sometimes in our quest for love and

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Speaker 1: acceptance and belonging and connection, we perhaps insert ourselves into

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Speaker 1: the wrong relationship or the wrong group because some connections

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Speaker 1: better than none.

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Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely, yeah. Yeah. We're constantly like this is our

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Speaker 2: greatest motivator is to get that love and acceptance. And

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Speaker 2: so we're looking at our world of circumstances and results.

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Speaker 2: What's going to get me the most love and acceptance

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Speaker 2: from everybody? And so in the book, I talked about

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Speaker 2: the acronym palms, possessions, achievements, looks, money, and status. And

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Speaker 2: so if I can increase any, hopefully all or any

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Speaker 2: of those five things, then I can get more of

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Speaker 2: that love and acceptance. But the problem is so much

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Speaker 2: of this oide of my control. And so then we

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Speaker 2: start really grasping and reaching and hoping people will will

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Speaker 2: love and accept them. So we're going to try and

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Speaker 2: come off in a way that you think better of

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Speaker 2: me when I talk. And so hopefully when we're talking,

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Speaker 2: I might slide in some things that make me look

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Speaker 2: good in a certain way so that you will say

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Speaker 2: some things that I'll feel better about myself, because that's

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Speaker 2: ultimately what I'm hoping for as a human. And so

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Speaker 2: if you don't have that sense of deep love, the

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Speaker 2: ideal is to be fully known and fully loved by

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Speaker 2: someone of great importance. If you go out into the

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Speaker 2: world without that, then you're going to do whatever you

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Speaker 2: can to get that from whoever you're interacting with throughout

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Speaker 2: the day.

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Speaker 1: Can you tell me about you're quite unique? I love that,

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Speaker 1: I love how how this is not the right word,

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Speaker 1: but it's all that comes to mind, how love focused

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Speaker 1: you are, and how much how much your beliefs, your

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Speaker 1: faith drives what you do, and that kind of I

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Speaker 1: know it's not an idea. I know it's a lived

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Speaker 1: experience of selflessness and kindness. Tell me about the intersection

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Speaker 1: of your faith and the science and the research and

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Speaker 1: the practical kind of outworking of doing what you do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so when I was in the desert, that's a

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Speaker 2: great question. I learned that the heart is the key

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Speaker 2: to your life. And so then the big question is, well,

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Speaker 2: what do I do with that information? How do I

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Speaker 2: train the heart? Like I've never heard anyone say this before.

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Speaker 2: And so what I learned, like I shared, is that

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Speaker 2: that we want to teach train the heart to love

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Speaker 2: most what's most empowering. And you know this is this

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Speaker 2: is this is a challenge. It's a big challenge because

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Speaker 2: as humans, we're constantly wanting instant gratification. I just want

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Speaker 2: to feel better right now. And the reason we don't.

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Speaker 2: Most people get stuck is that they come to these

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Speaker 2: uncomfortable places in their life. They get these feelings that

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Speaker 2: they don't like, and they try to get rid of

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Speaker 2: the feeling. And this is where addiction happens. Addiction is

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Speaker 2: anything that stops your growth. And so if we look

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Speaker 2: at the cell phone, for example, the cell phone is

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Speaker 2: this it can be this addiction that stops your growth

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Speaker 2: because we get these uncomfortable feelings and we've all done

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Speaker 2: it where I'm really uncomfortable. Right now, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: grab my phone and so I'm going to look at

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Speaker 2: things that will take my mind away from it and

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Speaker 2: I can get some relief, just you know, just like

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Speaker 2: watching TV. And so. But in excellence is the number

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Speaker 2: one goal every day is to learn and grow. And

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Speaker 2: that's learning grow and self awareness and learn and grow

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Speaker 2: and love with some encourage. So because who you're becoming

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Speaker 2: is the most important thing about you, not what you're achieving.

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Speaker 2: Because what you're achieving you may think is the greatest

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Speaker 2: thing in the world. But what I thought was the

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Speaker 2: greatest thing in the world when I was nineteen is

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Speaker 2: very different than what I think it is now. And so, yeah,

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Speaker 2: do you think that.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Like in our

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Speaker 1: culture in Australia, I'm sure in the States, I'm sure

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Speaker 1: most places, like success is in the world, it's framed

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Speaker 1: as stuff. What you have, what you earn, what you

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Speaker 1: are and what you drive, where you live, what you

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Speaker 1: look like, what people think, you brand, bank balance, it's

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Speaker 1: all that external. I can see that stuff, right, And

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Speaker 1: you and I both know, I'm sure we both know

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Speaker 1: lots of people who are richly rich, rich, successful, and

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Speaker 1: from the outside looking in, it's all Hollywood and glamour

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Speaker 1: and razzle dazzle, But the inside out is sometimes psychological, emotional,

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Speaker 1: and spiritual bankruptcy. Right, So from the outside looking in

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Speaker 1: ace from the inside out a terrible experience. Talk to

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Speaker 1: me a little bit about success and navigating what the

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Speaker 1: world calls success, but then that lived experience in the

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Speaker 1: middle of that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is this is the big illusion, this pursuit

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Speaker 2: of success, because Western culture says success is having those

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Speaker 2: five things possessions, achievements, looks, money, and status, and it's

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Speaker 2: really this cheeks your tail empty pursuit of these temporary transactions,

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Speaker 2: and well, we really want something meaningful and empowering if

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Speaker 2: you really think about it, what you want for yourself

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Speaker 2: and maybe your kids is from most of us, we

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Speaker 2: want I want to live a meaningful life with amazing

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Speaker 2: experiences and deep and enriching relationships where we're learning and

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Speaker 2: growing and making a difference in the world and with

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Speaker 2: an excelance. We have four daily goals that help us

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Speaker 2: help us do that. The number one goal is learn

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Speaker 2: and grow. And then within that our four daily goals

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Speaker 2: is number one is to give the best of what

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Speaker 2: you have today. Some days it's not going to be

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Speaker 2: very much, but understand that even if I maybe a

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Speaker 2: thirty or forty percent day, I'm going to give one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent of that thirty or forty percent. And then

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Speaker 2: two is to be present. Three is to be grateful.

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Speaker 2: Four is to focus on my routines and only what

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Speaker 2: I can control present, because there's no fear in the

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Speaker 2: present moment of greatest obstacle fear and there's no fear

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Speaker 2: in the present moments. We want to be able to

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Speaker 2: constantly practice doesn't mean to be present. And when I

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Speaker 2: say present at the highest level, I mean to have

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Speaker 2: a sense of freedom and joy and that the feeling

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Speaker 2: that anything's possible. And then gratitude is so important because

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Speaker 2: it's directly linked to inner piece, which is directly linked

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Speaker 2: to interstree strength, mental toughness, and they're all linked to beauty,

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Speaker 2: and so gratitude is crucial. And one thing that might

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Speaker 2: be helpful to think about is that we're either grateful

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Speaker 2: or entitled. There's only two options in your life and

435
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 2: your day to day life. You're either grateful or entitled,

436
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 2: and you can think of which one you were saying

437
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 2: yesterday by like, was I grateful yesterday? Didn't someone follow

438
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,439
Speaker 2: me around and say, yeah, that's a grateful person, or

439
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,479
Speaker 2: he was grateful or weren't you. You know, it's your

440
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 2: own you can answer it yourself. But and then if

441
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,640
Speaker 2: you weren't, and then you were entitled. And so I'm

442
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 2: not saying this to say you should be a good person.

443
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 2: I'm just saying that when we're grateful, we're going to

444
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,120
Speaker 2: have more inner peace in your strength. When we're entitled,

445
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 2: we're going to have less inner peace. And industryth wow.

446
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 2: And then the fourth one is to focus on your

447
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:52,959
Speaker 2: routines and only what you can control. I love it.

448
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 1: So from when we were born till now, you and

449
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 1: may sitting on this chat you're chatting with a weird

450
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: guy on the other side of the world. You know,

451
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: you and I and everyone listening has been to an

452
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 1: extent programed. You know, we've been programmed by culture, media,

453
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 1: social media, situation, circumstance, environment, people, school, and then we

454
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 1: kind of, you know, we end up how we end up.

455
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 2: Part of its genetic part.

456
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 1: Of this programming, this unconscious conditioning of how we see

457
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 1: the world and beliefs and values and ideas and some

458
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: of that programming works in inverted commas, and some of

459
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,919
Speaker 1: it doesn't, some of its self sabotages, some of it's empowering.

460
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:41,439
Speaker 1: How do we how do we think more critically and

461
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 1: build more awareness self awareness and more space between the programming,

462
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 1: our involuntary programming, and who we can be? Is that

463
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: a stupid question?

464
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,879
Speaker 2: Like? Does that make sense to you? Like?

465
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 1: I feel most people are a bipe, Like we don't

466
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 1: think the way we think the way we think.

467
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 2: Because we've been trying to think that way.

468
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 1: I believe I believe this is the best team because

469
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 1: Dad said it was the best team on this religion.

470
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 2: Because my family is this religion.

471
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 1: I'm a vegan because mom's a vegan, right, Rather than saying, okay,

472
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 1: apart from all that programming and conditioning, what do I think?

473
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:25,360
Speaker 2: What's my truth? What are my beliefs? You know? Yeah?

474
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,639
Speaker 2: I think I think if you just go with the flow,

475
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 2: you know, this is my life and this is what's

476
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 2: kind of been laid out for me, and you know,

477
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 2: up until you graduate from high school, that's definitely the

478
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 2: best thing to do, is to follow that path, or

479
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 2: it's a great thing to do, But once you graduate

480
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 2: from high school, now you're making choices on your own,

481
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 2: and if you don't really be true to yourself, then

482
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,399
Speaker 2: you're going to become like everyone else and you're going

483
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,159
Speaker 2: to live a life of mediocrity, let's say. But the

484
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 2: big question is what does it mean to be true

485
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 2: to myself? And so I talk about this in the

486
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 2: book that I wrote called The Best Possible Life, How

487
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 2: to Live with deep content and joy and confidence. And

488
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 2: I mentioned earlier about training in your heart. See, the

489
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 2: human heart needs training because we'll at least mind us,

490
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 2: because you can think about yours credit. So maybe when

491
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 2: you're you've been stressed and under pressure, you've always gone

492
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 2: to the thing that's most empowering to yourself into the world,

493
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 2: the most loving thing. But it's not what's happened to

494
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 2: me every time. And so we need to train our

495
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:32,879
Speaker 2: hearts so that that it does not get caught up

496
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 2: in self protection and uh self importance, because then it

497
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 2: becomes overinflated or underinflated, and then we don't have an

498
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 2: accurate view of the world. And so in order to

499
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 2: have an accurate view of the world, which is what

500
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 2: I call humility, then we need to train it and

501
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 2: uh so that that's a daily process. Yeah, yeah, was there.

502
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 1: Was there something that preempted your journey to the desert?

503
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 1: You might not want to share. But did something happen

504
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 1: because obviously not. Most people don't go to the desert

505
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 1: for five years, sell most of their stuff and write

506
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,160
Speaker 1: a book fifty hours a week or thereabouts.

507
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 2: Like that's quite an ietypical thing. How did that come about?

508
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 2: Why did that happen? What was going on with you? Yeah?

509
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 2: My dream, my whole life since I was eight years old,

510
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 2: was to be a professional athlete, and so I got

511
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 2: dropped by the Chicago Cubs and that was a dream

512
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 2: come true. But I played professional baseball for five years

513
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 2: and I got injured and had to retire, and I

514
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 2: was devastated. I was in my early twenties and my

515
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 2: whole identity was as Jim Murphy pro based off player.

516
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 2: When I lost it, I felt like I lost everything.

517
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 2: I was driving a truck for a FedEx downtown Seattle, Washington.

518
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 2: I get a call from a college teammate and he says,

519
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,439
Speaker 2: can you take over this coaching this high school baseball

520
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,240
Speaker 2: team Innercy, Seattle at saw Boys School, which I'd never

521
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,920
Speaker 2: considered coaching. It just worked with my schedule. I decided

522
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 2: to do it, and so I have the best time.

523
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 2: We go undefeated. And so I was like, oh, how

524
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 2: do I realized my destiny was not to be a

525
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 2: superstar professional baseball player, but to be a superstar professional

526
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 2: baseball coach. But how do I go from coaching fifteen

527
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 2: year olds to coaching the Yankees and winning the World Series.

528
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,399
Speaker 2: So I came up with this plan. I'm going to

529
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 2: get a master's in coaching science or physical education, and

530
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,120
Speaker 2: so I can get a job teaching pe to pay

531
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 2: the bills and a coach of the high school baseball team,

532
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,920
Speaker 2: win a championship, get a job in UNI, coach the

533
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 2: baseball team, win a championship, and work my way into

534
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 2: the pros. And so that was my plan. I enrolled

535
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 2: at the University of British Columbia and Canada. I started

536
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 2: a baseball team there. I get my master's in coaching

537
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 2: science and for my master's paper, I interview thirty nine

538
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 2: major League baseball managers and gms and other coaches on

539
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 2: how to build a championship team. Get a job of

540
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 2: the Texas Rangers two weeks after graduation. Dream come true.

541
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,959
Speaker 2: But then I quit six months later in tears. It

542
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 2: was just was not a good fit. And I thought

543
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 2: I was a failure because I thought, this is the

544
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 2: best job that I could possibly do. It's going to

545
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 2: be this extraordinary life. I'm meant to be a superstar.

546
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 2: And I always had this kind of sense that every

547
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 2: girl is going to want to be with me, and

548
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 2: every guy is going to want to be me, you know,

549
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:25,720
Speaker 2: this incredible egotisticol thing. And then so then Jim Murphy

550
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 2: pro baseball player becomes Jim Murphy nobody in my mind.

551
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 2: And then it happens again as a coach, and then

552
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,959
Speaker 2: I get asked my Major League Baseball if I want

553
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 2: to be the hitting coach for South Africa for the

554
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 2: two thousand O Big Trials. I don't know if you

555
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: remember what city that was in, but it was somewhere

556
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 2: down south. I yeah, yeah, it was. It was about

557
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 2: city to Melbourne. Yeah, I look, it's good.

558
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: I mean, I try Sydney, they try, you know, they

559
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 1: have a go and it's good. It's just uh, they

560
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 1: like a pole cousin to Melbourne.

561
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 2: Everybody does the best of what they have in their heart.

562
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:02,239
Speaker 2: Oh my Sydney listeners a just turning off now. So

563
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 2: I was fortunate enough to work with South African national team.

564
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 2: We win Olympic trials, go to Sydney and have one

565
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 2: of the biggest subset victories in Olympic baseball in history.

566
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 2: You get to meet Nelson Mandela. It was an amazing experience.

567
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 2: I'm still close friends with all those people in the

568
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 2: two thousand Olympic team. And after that, I fell in

569
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 2: love with Australia. By the way, still one of my

570
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 2: favorite countries. But after the Olympics, what am I going

571
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 2: to do with my life? I go back to being

572
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 2: a personal training which I did in grad school. And

573
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: then I was just getting restless and I wanted to

574
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 2: make a bigger difference in people's lives. I get a

575
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 2: call from my teammate in pro baseball, Ricky Shruggs, starting

576
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 2: a baseball academy in Tucson, Arizona, in the desert. Can

577
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 2: you come for the weekend and help me launch this thing?

578
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 2: I decide. At the time, I just didn't. I was

579
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 2: getting really restless, and I knew I just really felt

580
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 2: like I was created to do something important, something special

581
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 2: for the world, and I just didn't know what that was.

582
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 2: And so I was like kind of getting to your question.

583
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 2: I'm going to move to the desert. I'm going to

584
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 2: go live a life of solitude. I'm going to give

585
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 2: away most of my possessions, including my TV, live a

586
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 2: simple life, and I'm going to figure out what I'm

587
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 2: My destiny is, what am I put on this earth

588
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 2: to do? And I'm going to find something that I'm

589
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 2: willing to give my life for that I'm willing to

590
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 2: live and die for and dedicate my life to. And

591
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 2: so I left for the desert and that's where I

592
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: ended up deciding to become a personal coach to professional

593
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 2: baseball players. My first two clients too amazing. So I'm

594
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,479
Speaker 2: going to put together a little manual how to have

595
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 2: peace and confidence under pressure for future pro baseball players.

596
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 2: Call up a sports psychologist, ask them how long? How

597
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 2: can Olympic athlete train for four years and for an

598
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 2: event that may take less than a minute and have

599
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 2: peace and confidence in that situation? That brings more questions

600
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 2: and answer. So I call another psychologists and another and

601
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,959
Speaker 2: I spent five years full time writing and researching that question,

602
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 2: and through that that becomes the book inter of Excellence. Wow,

603
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 2: that is that is an interesting story.

604
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: And in the middle of all of that, I mean,

605
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: we'll jump out. I want to talk to you about

606
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 1: pressure or perceived pressure in a moment, but I want

607
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 1: to talk to you about I don't know. I'm scared

608
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 1: to open the god door. But did you grow up

609
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: in a religious household? Did you always have faith? Has

610
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 1: that waxed and wind? Have you?

611
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 2: You know?

612
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 1: The purpose bigger than me? Has that always been a

613
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 1: Has that been a constant?

614
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 2: Definitely not in my heart. If you ask people that

615
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 2: know me or know me most of my life, they'll say,

616
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 2: if you can believe it, Jim was even more self

617
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:45,479
Speaker 2: centered back then than he is now. Extremely uh. And

618
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 2: so my life was really about Jim for most of

619
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 2: my life. And I think it's it's actually the default

620
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 2: is self centeredness. And so that's why it's a big challenge,

621
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 2: because self centeredness leads to fear, at least the comparison

622
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 2: and anxiety and fear. My mom is full Japanese and

623
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 2: she grew up in Japan and her lineage is Samurai,

624
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 2: and so I talk about that in the beginning of

625
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 2: the book. And so her impact on my life was great,

626
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 2: and my dad was also had a huge impact on

627
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: my life. But my life really changed in twenty ten.

628
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 2: I had a near mental breakdown. And this is right

629
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 2: after the book came out. It comes out in bookstores

630
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 2: around the world, and I spend my life savings. I'm

631
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 2: ninety thousand dollars in debt now and I'm in downtown Denver,

632
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 2: and my mind is kind of spiraling out of control.

633
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, Okay, yeah, the books and bookstores around the world,

634
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 2: and Barnes and Noble, the biggest chain in the US.

635
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 2: But you have no money to hire someone to market

636
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 2: the book. You don't know how to do marketing, and

637
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 2: you don't like promoting yourself. This is not a good

638
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 2: marketing plan. And if no one hears about the book,

639
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 2: no one's going to buy the book. If no one

640
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 2: buys the book, mark Barnes and Noble will pull it

641
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 2: off their shelves. And this could happen in a few weeks,

642
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 2: and then five years of your life, ninety thousand dollars,

643
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 2: all of that, that's all gone, and you're going to

644
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 2: be also labeled a failure, a total failure, because everyone

645
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 2: knows you're obsessed about this project for five years and

646
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 2: ned failed. And if that happens, that I couldn't see

647
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 2: how this wouldn't happen, And this is what happens. This

648
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 2: is why we're created for a relationship, and this is

649
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 2: why it's so important to have to love others so

650
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 2: you can have people that you can share your fears with.

651
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 2: And because fear grows in the dark, and I didn't

652
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 2: have anyone that I could go to, and I pretty

653
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 2: much isolated myself for five years. And so this is

654
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 2: what happens when you isolate yourself, that you can have

655
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 2: these near breakdowns, which is what was happening to me.

656
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:45,760
Speaker 2: And I thought, you know, if I'm a total failure,

657
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 2: you know, the book gets pulled off the shelves, then

658
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to get a regular job because no

659
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 2: pro athletes is going to hire a failure to coach them,

660
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 2: which is why I wrote the book to coach pro athletes.

661
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 2: And then if no one hires me, then I'm going

662
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 2: to have to get a regular job. But it's two

663
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 2: thousand and nine. The economy we're in a recession, so

664
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 2: no one's going to hire a failure, So I'm going

665
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 2: to die alone in the street. So that was what

666
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 2: the near mental breakdown happened, and my life and so

667
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,720
Speaker 2: I think of my life as in terms of before

668
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 2: that moment, because that moment was a huge moment in

669
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 2: my life. I started my life to God. I meet

670
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: this homeless harpist who ends up possibly being an angel,

671
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 2: and my life completely changes. And I meet these people

672
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 2: that total strangers that tell me what's going to happen

673
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 2: in my life. They come true, and yeah, it was

674
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 2: pretty amazing what God's done. And when was that twenty ten?

675
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 2: That yeah, twenty ten. I wrote about this my life

676
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 2: story in the book The Best Possible Life.

677
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: Identity is an interesting thing, isn't it, Because when your

678
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 1: story is I'm going to be well.

679
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 2: I am right, I am this, or I am.

680
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: That, I'm going to be a finmous author, I'm going

681
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 1: to be this whatever, or I am I'm an athlete,

682
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: and then it took out you don't end up being

683
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: the athlete.

684
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 2: You want to be, or.

685
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,319
Speaker 1: You know, I'm a vegan and then somebody disco or

686
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 1: then I get some information that doesn't sit with my information,

687
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 1: or you know, like when when that thing that we

688
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 1: identify with either turns out to be not correct or

689
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 1: flawed or it doesn't work out, then we don't know

690
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 1: who we are, you know, like I for a really

691
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 1: silly example, but for a long time to my Also,

692
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:33,359
Speaker 1: I come from a personal training background like you, and

693
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:37,000
Speaker 1: I actually set up the first personal training center in

694
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 1: Australia in nine ninety, right, So I have a big

695
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: background working with clients, and I used to teach and

696
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,720
Speaker 1: even in the eighties, I'm that old you know about

697
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 1: the food pyramid. And then and then one day we

698
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 1: all kind of figure out, oh, maybe that's not exactly

699
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 1: the best science in the world. And then but I'm

700
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:56,759
Speaker 1: really intertwined with that science or that message or that

701
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: version of the truth because I've been teaching it and

702
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:03,720
Speaker 1: telling it and it and then i find out, well, Craig,

703
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: you're totally wrong. And then all of a sudden, I've

704
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: got to go I've either got to double down or

705
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 1: I've got to just say, oh that thing that I thought,

706
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 1: that's that's not true. And so that's a It's identity

707
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,280
Speaker 1: is an interesting thing because you don't want to become

708
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:21,320
Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel like you don't want to

709
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 1: become too entwined with well, a lot of ideologies or philosophies,

710
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: you know, because it can be fraught with danger.

711
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 2: Well, One of the biggest problems that we have as

712
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,839
Speaker 2: humans is we have a single story for our lives.

713
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 2: What I mean by that is that we have a

714
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 2: picture of how my life should go and how it

715
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 2: shouldn't go, and pretty much along a certain track, and

716
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 2: oftentimes it doesn't go that way. And when it doesn't

717
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 2: go that way, then we get really thrown off and

718
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:57,959
Speaker 2: have this real fear, anxiety and stress. But the cute

719
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 2: understanding is that you don't know it's best for you.

720
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 2: You know, you have your goals and your dreams, but

721
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 2: is it best for you. There could be if you

722
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 2: could take your top ten goals right now, and they

723
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,879
Speaker 2: could maybe none of them are good for you, or

724
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:13,239
Speaker 2: maybe there's twenty others that are way better for you

725
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 2: than the top ten you have right now. And that's

726
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 2: why I want to you know, the first principle of

727
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 2: inter excellence is to remember that all things are here

728
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 2: to teach me and help me. It's all working for

729
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 2: my good and hold things, hold your results and circumstances lately,

730
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 2: because far more important than what you achieve is who

731
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 2: you're becoming.

732
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 1: I want to chat a little bit about pressure and typically,

733
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: like you know, when we talk about athletes. We talk

734
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,359
Speaker 1: about performing under pressure, and we know that we can

735
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 1: get guys or girls who are amazing in practice and

736
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 1: skilled and amazing you know, spatial awareness and timing and execution,

737
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 1: and theoretically they're brilliant and even practically they're brilliant in

738
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 1: a training setting where there's less or there's little to

739
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: know pressure at times, sometimes there is, but then under

740
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,720
Speaker 1: extreme pressure. I worked over here with an AFL club,

741
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: which is the equivalent of an NFL club, which is

742
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 1: the Australian Rules Football League. So I worked with a

743
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 1: team over here for four years and I would often

744
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,400
Speaker 1: see guys who on the training track were nine and

745
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: a half out of ten, but mentally and emotionally just

746
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 1: would capitulate at times not always. So when mentally and

747
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 1: emotionally they would struggle, then you know their skill goes down,

748
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,720
Speaker 1: their timing goes down, their ability to read the game

749
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 1: drops off, their confidence drops off everything. What's your theory

750
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 1: on dealing with pressure? I feel like we have it wrong.

751
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so here's kind of how essentially, give you

752
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 2: a little analogy. Prout's come to me or Olympic anthiort's

753
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 2: come to me because the want to perform better, so

754
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 2: they want to be world number one. And when a

755
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 2: win a national championship or something like that, a world championship,

756
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 2: and they're looking for some transaction, they want to get

757
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 2: some achievement. That's I mean. I'm a performance coach. I

758
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 2: help people achieve great things when become world number one.

759
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: And it's like they're coming to me for happiness, which

760
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,280
Speaker 2: I define as a positive temporary feeling based on what's happening.

761
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 2: They want to get transaction, and what I teach them

762
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 2: is how to have joy, which is a deep sense

763
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 2: of well being, freedom, and gratitude independent of circumstances. And

764
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 2: so can you remember your question?

765
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: I was just talking about dealing with pressure, and I

766
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 1: feel like our paradigm is, Okay, you got to try

767
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 1: and on the pressure. You got to you got to

768
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 1: put yourself under immen's pressure. So when the real pressure comes,

769
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,399
Speaker 1: you're acclimatized, you know, mm hmm.

770
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 2: So uh. Interrextllence is really about a way of life

771
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 2: and understanding that there's there's way too much out of

772
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,879
Speaker 2: your control to be attached to what you want. There's

773
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 2: too much out of your control and you don't even

774
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:13,919
Speaker 2: know it's good for you, let it alone the best

775
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 2: thing for you. And so that's why we have these

776
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:20,359
Speaker 2: principles about developing yourself and training your heart and your

777
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 2: mind and becoming a certain type of person, because the

778
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 2: more you develop yourself, the better you're going to be

779
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 2: in every aspect of your life on and off the

780
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 2: field and have more joy. And so it's really understanding

781
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 2: why do I want to become world number one, for example,

782
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 2: or why do I want to have a million dollars

783
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,439
Speaker 2: or a million followers. So if we say I wanted

784
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:48,280
Speaker 2: a million million dollars, well you don't want the money.

785
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 2: You want what you think it's going to give you, right,

786
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 2: I mean, we're not going to take the paper bills

787
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 2: and put them in a bathtub and roll around in

788
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 2: it unless you're a little bit crazy. What you're going

789
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 2: to do is you're going to take that money. You're

790
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 2: going to buy something with it. Maybe it's a house

791
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 2: or a car, and you don't even want the house

792
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 2: or car. What you want is what you think it

793
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 2: will give you some experience, which is going to create

794
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 2: some feeling. And so what you really want is these feelings.

795
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 2: And so what I help people understand is what do

796
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,399
Speaker 2: you really want? Why do you want to achieve this thing?

797
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 2: And let's go for that directly, Because if you want

798
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 2: to live a life of deep contentment, joy and confidence

799
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 2: independent of circumstance, for example, a life with the easy

800
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 2: experiences and deep and enriching relationships where you're learning and

801
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 2: growing and making a difference, if that's what you really want,

802
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 2: then you can have that. Can you become world number one?

803
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 2: I don't know, but it's so important to understand, is well,

804
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 2: why do you want what you want? Let's go for

805
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 2: it directly. I asked this question, in the best possible life,

806
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 2: what would you rather have a ten million dollar house

807
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 2: on the water, paid off or would you rather live

808
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,800
Speaker 2: in an apartment paycheck to paycheck, no savings of your life,

809
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 2: but be guaranteed and amazing experiences with deep and enriching

810
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 2: relationships where you're filled with love, peace and joy every

811
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 2: single day the rest of your life. Which would you

812
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 2: rather have? And it's a I think it's a really

813
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 2: interesting question because the human mind in Western culture does

814
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 2: not connect the two. It's those are opposites. If you're

815
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 2: living paycheck to paycheck, there's no joy, there's no peace.

816
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 2: But the reason why It's also such a good question

817
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 2: is well, why do you want the ten million this

818
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 2: beautiful house on the water, And like most of my life,

819
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 2: I would have chosen the house. But what if no

820
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 2: one could ever see it? Would you still choose the house?

821
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 2: What if no one could ever know you have it?

822
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 2: Would you still choose it? Because for me, most of

823
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 2: my life would have chosen the house. Because now I'm picturing, Oh,

824
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 2: I'm going to have these get togethers and people are

825
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 2: going to go, oh man, this is so amazing, and

826
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 2: they're going to have these great experiences, and of course

827
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 2: I'm going to be loved and they're going to say,

828
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 2: what a beautiful house. And I'm going to feel so

829
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 2: important and loved and I'm going to feel like amazing

830
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 2: because of what's going to happen, the attention and the

831
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 2: experiences I'm going to have in that. But if we

832
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 2: take that away and well with the inner excellence says, hey,

833
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 2: let's go for that directly. Let's go for those experiences

834
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 2: and that feeling that life directly. And that's what any

835
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:19,759
Speaker 2: excellent says. Yeah, I love that.

836
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:24,800
Speaker 1: I mean that's we grow up in stories of well

837
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,400
Speaker 1: if I get that or own that or earn that

838
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 1: or look like that or have that, then I will

839
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 1: be content, or I'll be happier, I'll be fulfilled, or

840
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 1: i won't be anxious anymore, I'll be calm. So we

841
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 1: have this external kind of internal perceived correlation. Is that

842
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: when that thing in my external physical, three dimensional visible world,

843
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,399
Speaker 1: the world that everyone can see, when I do that

844
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: thing or have that thing, then the byproduct is my

845
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:57,240
Speaker 1: internal world, the place where living happens, not life. Life

846
00:44:57,239 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: happens out there, living happens in here. Then I'm going

847
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 1: to be all of these things. It's that kind of

848
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 1: what do you want and why do you want it? Well,

849
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,279
Speaker 1: what I want is this, this and this, and then

850
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: tell me your why, because that's actually what you want,

851
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:14,719
Speaker 1: like the reason under the you know, the goal, that's

852
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: what you really are after you know it's it's it's

853
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: so true, but it's so hard, especially you know when

854
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 1: we do live in a world that values those things

855
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 1: so much. And I'm not trying to sound too weird

856
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:29,359
Speaker 1: or philosophical or.

857
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,719
Speaker 2: Deep everyone, but it's just true. You know.

858
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 1: It's I've I would say, and I could be wrong,

859
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 1: but I would say. The people that I worked with

860
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 1: over the years who are really, really wealthy were probably

861
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 1: slightly more likely to be anxious and depressed and medicated

862
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: for sleeplessness than the people that I work with who

863
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 1: didn't have so much money. I'm not saying it's necessarily causal.

864
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: I'm not saying one equals the other. Of course, there

865
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 1: are lots of wealthy people that I know that are

866
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 1: pretty happy and pretty functional also, But when you believe

867
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 1: that that external achievement will equal this internal outcome or experience,

868
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 1: it's a slippery slope.

869
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 2: So yeah, I don't know.

870
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:19,320
Speaker 1: I don't know that it's that it's hard in our

871
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,320
Speaker 1: It's not impossible, but it's hard in our culture to

872
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 1: tell people you don't need all that, and they're like, well,

873
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:26,359
Speaker 1: it's all.

874
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 2: Right for you. You know, what about what about the.

875
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:38,360
Speaker 1: You spoke before about instant gratification And we've got about

876
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,799
Speaker 1: six or seven minutes to go, so I appreciate your time.

877
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 1: I feel we are so predisposed to comfort and convenience

878
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 1: and certainty and predictability and instant gratification when real growth

879
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 1: and development and adaptation and resilience kind of lives outside

880
00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: that stuff. So the question is we love convenience, We

881
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: love certainty. We love predictability, we love comfort, we love familiarity.

882
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 2: But my question is how do we put that.

883
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: Stuff to one side so that we can step into

884
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 1: the stuff that's really going to build resilience and competence

885
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 1: and skill and understanding, which is usually the opposite. So

886
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 1: where we grow is in uncertainty, is in discomfort, is

887
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 1: in unfamiliarity, is in the not knowing.

888
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 2: Yees. So interaxcellence has three main areas that everything I

889
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 2: do with clients has helped them in three main areas.

890
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 2: It's belief, freedom and focused BFF like best Friends Forever.

891
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 2: And belief is really what's the key there. Beliefs I

892
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 2: define as a subconscious comfort level with what you feel

893
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 2: is possible in your life, and of course with that

894
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 2: what you feel is not possible. And so inter excellence

895
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 2: is about expanding what you believe is possible. This is

896
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:58,439
Speaker 2: a major part of it, if not the main part

897
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 2: of interaxcellence. So how do we expand what we believe

898
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 2: is possible? Well, what happens is beliefs are feelings, and

899
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 2: we get when we come to the edge of our feelings.

900
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 2: In other words, we get to a point where we're

901
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 2: really uncomfortable most people back away and they're like, no,

902
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 2: too uncomfortable, I can do this. Stop stop getting out

903
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 2: of here. This is the average person, and you know

904
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:26,839
Speaker 2: we've all done it. The people that have achieved extraordinary

905
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:30,399
Speaker 2: things and have become selfless and therefore fearless, they get

906
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 2: to this, the uncomfortable feelings, and they're willing to sit

907
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,200
Speaker 2: in that discomfort to grow, because that's where the growth happens.

908
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,880
Speaker 2: And when you recognize that if I want to live

909
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:42,240
Speaker 2: an extraordinary life with amazing experiences and all those great things,

910
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:44,760
Speaker 2: then I need to expand what I believe is possible,

911
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 2: and I need to when I come to those moments

912
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 2: when I'm really uncomfortable, I need to be able to

913
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 2: embrace it and not leave that feeling. It's like Tom

914
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 2: Cruise said so well, is that everyone's afraid, including myself.

915
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 2: The difference is that I'm not afraid to be afraid.

916
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 2: And that's what I find. The biggest separator between the

917
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 2: best and the rest is courage and people that are willing.

918
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 2: And the great thing is that we can all be

919
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 2: courageous and if you're willing to face your fears, if

920
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 2: you're willing to be embarrassed and willing to fail in

921
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 2: a big way. Then if you're willing to face any feeling,

922
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 2: now you've got power. But we lose our power because

923
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 2: we come to the edge of this comfort level and

924
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 2: then most people will shrink away and like, no, I

925
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:39,239
Speaker 2: can't deal with this. And so understanding the willingness to

926
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 2: have those feelings and to face any feeling is a

927
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 2: good question. Am I willing to face any feeling? Along

928
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 2: with am I willing to face my fears? Am I

929
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:50,600
Speaker 2: willing to fail? And am I willing to be really uncomfortable?

930
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 2: And even if that feeling doesn't go away? Am I

931
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 2: willing to stay with it? These are really empowering things

932
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 2: that can expand what you believe is possible and change

933
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:04,359
Speaker 2: your life. We can't be courageous and less we're scared, right, Yeah,

934
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 2: that's that's brilliant, cragl. In order to gain wisdom, we

935
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 2: need to go through problems, and in order to be

936
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 2: to gain physical strength, we need to break down the muscles.

937
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 2: We need to suffer. And in order to have courage,

938
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 2: we have to have things that create the need for it.

939
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,239
Speaker 2: And so most people and most of my life has

940
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 2: been backing away from those things. But I don't want

941
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 2: to live that way anymore. I want to live a meaningful,

942
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 2: fulfilling life, and in order to do that, I have

943
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 2: to have courage. Yeah, I love it.

944
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:39,320
Speaker 1: So appreciate your story and your humility and your self

945
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:42,400
Speaker 1: awareness and your transparency.

946
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 2: So two questions. Then we're going to talk tell people

947
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 2: how to access your books. So my last two questions,

948
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:52,240
Speaker 2: what's one question?

949
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:57,799
Speaker 1: Two part is something that you're great at, something that

950
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,520
Speaker 1: you are comfortable to say that you're really good at,

951
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 1: and something that you definitely need to be better at.

952
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:08,680
Speaker 2: It's really interesting, Craig, because I don't think about myself

953
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 2: as as I try not to think about myself, and

954
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 2: I don't think of myself as great at anything, right,

955
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,840
Speaker 2: I try. I try to keep myself out of the

956
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 2: picture because then I can be fearless when I start

957
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 2: thinking about myself. And when fear comes in, oh, I

958
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,840
Speaker 2: might make a mistake. I might this might happen, or

959
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,719
Speaker 2: that might happen, and I might look foolish, and and

960
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 2: you know these things that lead to fears, this self,

961
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 2: uh self and this center thoughts, and so you know,

962
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:46,320
Speaker 2: I don't I don't really know if I'm great at anything,

963
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,480
Speaker 2: but I know that I've I've had a lot to

964
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:53,239
Speaker 2: learn and that, uh, you know, self centeredness is likely

965
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 2: the biggest challenge that I face every day.

966
00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 1: All Right, I'll answer the question fully. You're a brilliant communitka,

967
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 1: You're a brilliant storyteller. You're brilliant at making complicated stuff understandable.

968
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 2: For the rest of us.

969
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,319
Speaker 1: That's a gift, dude, Like you're great at that. And

970
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 1: being able to explain what can be really confronting, challenging,

971
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 1: uncomfortable kind of issues and concepts and constructs in a

972
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 1: way that's.

973
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 2: Very user friendly is great. Is great. That's why you know.

974
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:30,759
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure there's a bunch of reasons, but

975
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:32,840
Speaker 1: for me, that's part of the reason that you're.

976
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 2: Doing so great and thank you so much.

977
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 1: Not that it matters from me, but I'm super happy

978
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,920
Speaker 1: for you. Such a good human and you're doing good things.

979
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 1: So the book, I'm going to get it right this time.

980
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:47,920
Speaker 1: Everyone in an excellence train your mind for extraordinary performance

981
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:49,520
Speaker 1: and the best life possible.

982
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 2: Jim Murphy is the author.

983
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 1: I know you don't use the word mate over there,

984
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 1: but if I call you mate, that's friendship thing.

985
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 2: Mate.

986
00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 1: Tell us about the more recent book that you've re

987
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:00,960
Speaker 1: and what's that called?

988
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 2: Yeah? Thanks mate. My book and most recent book is

989
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 2: called The Best Possible Life, how to Live with Deep

990
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 2: Contentment and joined confidence. No matter what. That came out

991
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,959
Speaker 2: in November, self published. We're putting out a new edition.

992
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:18,279
Speaker 2: I signed a three book deal back in January with

993
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:22,719
Speaker 2: his Shed Books, and so the revised edition will come

994
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:26,319
Speaker 2: out in for very third Yeah. Great.

995
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 1: Hey, how can people connect with you? Do you want

996
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 1: people to follow on social media or check out your

997
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:35,399
Speaker 1: website or what's the details for that?

998
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, sign up for my newsletter inter Excellence dot com.

999
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 2: I share with you principles and ideas that I share

1000
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 2: with my clients and any news workshops. We've got to

1001
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 2: retreat coming up when we build houses in Mexico and

1002
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 2: do inter Excellence retreats together with a great group called

1003
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 2: Youth with a Mission. And I'm on social media as well. Facebook,

1004
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:59,239
Speaker 2: We've got a Facebook group and we'll be on Substack soon.

1005
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 2: Instagram is inter Excellence Jim Murphy. So yeah, thanks so much, Craig.

1006
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:08,800
Speaker 2: I really appreciate you having me. We appreciate you. Breath

1007
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:09,439
Speaker 2: of fresh air.

1008
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 1: I will say goodbye affair, but for the moment, thanks

1009
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:13,240
Speaker 1: so much for being on the new project.

1010
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you, Craig