Speaker 1: Cookie alps. What's going on?
Speaker 2: You haven't mentioned my new headphones?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is going on? What? Let me hang on?
Speaker 1: Let me put on my specs because I I just
Speaker 1: realized you don't have the big buffers over there? What
Speaker 1: are they? They look like you look like you're a uh,
Speaker 1: one of those people who take orders at a fast
Speaker 1: food outlet. I was just thinking, how do I say this?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna no, they look kind of fancy though. What
Speaker 1: are they?
Speaker 2: They're just little ones that will go over your ears.
Speaker 2: They're just hear. But it's weird because I'm used to
Speaker 2: having the noise canceling ones. So there's this whole sensory
Speaker 2: circus going on inside my head right now.
Speaker 1: See I might do better with those. I might do
Speaker 1: better with those. What so just describe to people. So
Speaker 1: normally Tiff wears the big buff headphones, as do I sometimes,
Speaker 1: but really.
Speaker 2: Quite comfort ones that muff over both of your ears,
Speaker 2: that's the usual get up. I bought these ones because
Speaker 2: I liked the idea of well, I was thinking about
Speaker 2: playing with the virtual background, which normally annoys me because
Speaker 2: the gaps in between your head and the headphones cut.
Speaker 2: The picture cuts in and out. Just like your hand
Speaker 2: is right now as you move the microphone that can't
Speaker 2: be seen. You know, it's weird. So I thought I'd
Speaker 2: get these and just have a crack and also, all right,
Speaker 2: they just look better, but also they're just so they're
Speaker 2: buds that hook over my ear because I wanted the
Speaker 2: wire is everyone's still here with us listening. I wanted
Speaker 2: the wire to not be hanging in the front of
Speaker 2: my face, and so the ears it has to hook
Speaker 2: over your ear and then the wire has to come
Speaker 2: out of the back bit of the hook, not the front,
Speaker 2: not the bar.
Speaker 1: What make they? A'm googling them? This is terrible podcasting?
Speaker 1: That fuck? What's new?
Speaker 2: They were? What are they? A Ventry Resolve They're really
Speaker 2: they just bought them. They're really cheap ones. They like
Speaker 2: thirty spell a Vanry A the A n t r
Speaker 2: ee Resolve open ear earphones, a.
Speaker 1: Van Try Resolve open ear wired open earbuds. Is that then,
Speaker 1: oh that's the ones twenty six bucks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so they just sit and they don't block
Speaker 2: your ears. So like the bone conducting ones that you've
Speaker 2: seen me wear at the gym and told me I
Speaker 2: looked like the call taker.
Speaker 1: These me a pair, and I'll just give you the
Speaker 1: cash because I'm shit at buying things online. Sure, sure
Speaker 1: you can even put a bit of markup on it?
Speaker 1: What did you you can go? Ah? That was thirty five?
Speaker 1: What can I say?
Speaker 2: Plus postage in handling.
Speaker 1: If anyone else wants a pair, just email TIFFs, She'll
Speaker 1: get them.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you a funny story about them getting delivered?
Speaker 2: So I got them delivered and I went downstairs and
Speaker 2: there were two parcels from and I ripped them open.
Speaker 2: And last week i'd been looking up someone was talking
Speaker 2: about the book by Robin Sharma. I think as this meditation,
Speaker 2: this Buddhist monk book. Anyway, I'd looked it up, I'd
Speaker 2: googled it. And I ripped open the package and the
Speaker 2: book has arrived, and I'm like, oh, oh, I must
Speaker 2: have ordered it. I can't remember ordering the book. I
Speaker 2: must have orded a book because I googled him last week.
Speaker 2: And then this morning, as I was leaving the apartment block,
Speaker 2: there's a big sign on the window and I was like,
Speaker 2: what was I saying? It's got says warning. The picture
Speaker 2: of two parcels is like people are coming down the
Speaker 2: driveway and stealing our parcels. My Amazon parcel got stolen,
Speaker 2: and then I rushed upstairs and looked at the package
Speaker 2: that I hadn't read and it wasn't my book.
Speaker 1: You fucking thief. So you're the.
Speaker 2: Can you believe that it's a book that I? And
Speaker 2: I was like just assumed I'd bought it. So I
Speaker 2: had to write a little love letter and say, hey,
Speaker 2: Apartment six, sorry I accidentally flogged your book, but here's
Speaker 2: a bird story.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So have you connected with them? Have you spoken
Speaker 1: to them?
Speaker 2: No, it's currently this was just this morning, and it's
Speaker 2: when I got home just before. It's still leaning against
Speaker 2: her door, or so she'll she'll come home.
Speaker 1: And what are the chances that you and her would
Speaker 1: order the same book?
Speaker 2: Well? I didn't order the book, but because I've been
Speaker 2: having a bit of a field day on online shopping lately,
Speaker 2: because when you're in the dumps, what else do you do?
Speaker 2: There's been stuff just rocking up left, right and center.
Speaker 1: What's the biggest bullshit you've ever bought? I've never bought
Speaker 1: anything online, which is partly because I'm old. Actually that's
Speaker 1: the whole reason. Actually, that's all of it. I was
Speaker 1: trying to think of another reason. I'm old, what's the
Speaker 1: dumbest shit? It's probably something you bought with Patrick. Was
Speaker 1: it that.
Speaker 2: Sonic toothbrush? But here's another one of sitting right here.
Speaker 2: But I've only got part of it. I was looking
Speaker 2: at the heated gloves you can buy. I'm like, I
Speaker 2: get some of these, and.
Speaker 1: Are you talking about for your motorbike or just general
Speaker 1: getting about.
Speaker 2: Originally I was looking for the motorbike, but then I
Speaker 2: saw it could get thin ones right, so the us
Speaker 2: B charged and then your hands stay warm. I thought
Speaker 2: these would be great in the gym, and then I
Speaker 2: found some for like thirty bucks. I thought, this is great,
Speaker 2: there's a way cheap bucuse that one's one hundred bucks.
Speaker 2: They rock up and they're just fingerless knitted gloves. And
Speaker 2: if you look here that I'll describe to the audience.
Speaker 2: There's just two and they have to be plugged into work,
Speaker 2: so they're not USB chargeable. They just charge when you're
Speaker 2: at your computer. And there's just this square thing that
Speaker 2: sit that you stick velkrows to the inside of this
Speaker 2: stupid knitted glove. And I was like, I totally got jibbed.
Speaker 2: That is not what you portrayed this product to be online.
Speaker 1: You totally did get jibbed. Okay, So what's the best
Speaker 1: thing you've ever like, you know, where some and under
Speaker 1: promises and over deliver and you unwrapped it and you went, fuck,
Speaker 1: this is awesome, or maybe it just met your expectations.
Speaker 1: By the way, how often do you buy something online?
Speaker 2: I just go through little stages, you know. Sometimes I'm
Speaker 2: just laying in better in the morning and next minute
Speaker 2: Facebook churns out a bit of rubbish. You're like, oh,
Speaker 2: what's that. I've bought a lot of pit toys like
Speaker 2: that little cat, little cat doos? I did you see
Speaker 2: your cat having so much fun? And you're like, oh that,
Speaker 2: look at all that fun. Love that. So she gets
Speaker 2: a lot of toys like that.
Speaker 1: You could give bear an empty milk cart and then
Speaker 1: she'd have a great time for two days.
Speaker 2: She normally loves the box that things come in more
Speaker 2: than the toys.
Speaker 1: Exactly, exactly, like a two year old. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: you still, we've got to get on with our show
Speaker 1: because I actually have a topic but or something I
Speaker 1: want to discuss. What's the best thing that you've got
Speaker 1: online that didn't disappoint well?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Really, Well, they've got they've got to be up. There
Speaker 1: is a good sound those headphones.
Speaker 2: Well, well it's weird because I can hear my voice now,
Speaker 2: whereas before I'm used. I'm just used to it, so
Speaker 2: they're good. But I'm just used to the noise canceling
Speaker 2: headphones covering your whole ear. So now I can hear
Speaker 2: my voice not just feeding back through the headphones, but
Speaker 2: also leaking into my normal ear. It's weird.
Speaker 1: So you can hear yourself both through your ears like
Speaker 1: just normally in the room noise, and also through the
Speaker 1: actual headphones themselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, it always throws me. It's a bit like
Speaker 2: when you get microphone to speak and I'm used to,
Speaker 2: like I said to you at events, and I'm used
Speaker 2: to hearing through the headphones my voice, and then all
Speaker 2: of a sudden You've got to gauge how loud is this?
Speaker 2: Am I? Is the microphone working? Am I too loud?
Speaker 1: I don't know why I'm resistant headphones because I did
Speaker 1: radio for twenty years with headphones, and then as soon
Speaker 1: as I realized I could do podcasts without them, disbanding them. Hey, so,
Speaker 1: how by the way, why do you look so good today, Like,
Speaker 1: have you had a date or something this morning?
Speaker 2: Thanks? No, Actually, I've just got a normal item of
Speaker 2: clothing on. It's not a muscletop or a gym top.
Speaker 2: That's the difference.
Speaker 1: No, that's not true, because you have faces all different.
Speaker 1: You look like you've been made up.
Speaker 2: No, same as the same as normal, but none. Eight
Speaker 2: blue eyeline and our same true story.
Speaker 1: Thanks you look maybe it's because you don't have your
Speaker 1: doubts and your biceps hanging out like a.
Speaker 2: Dude and my big headphones.
Speaker 1: I what month is your birthday?
Speaker 2: It's May? May, the first May day, May Day? Here
Speaker 2: she comes.
Speaker 1: That's right, So you turned forty one just last May, right,
Speaker 1: a couple of months ago. Yeah, okay, So here's what
Speaker 1: I want to tell you, and this is our stepping
Speaker 1: off point for our conversation today. You are statistic forty one.
Speaker 1: So May is the fifth month, eleventh. So in November,
Speaker 1: let's be more accurate. In November, you are going to
Speaker 1: be statistically at the halfway mark of your life. Statistically,
Speaker 1: because the average AUSSI female lives to eighty three now,
Speaker 1: and we know that also statistically, the last five to
Speaker 1: ten years might be shited. Do you think about where
Speaker 1: you are ever in the context of your life span?
Speaker 1: The reason for this is actually I'll shut up. Do
Speaker 1: you think about that?
Speaker 2: Maybe not as a linear what percentage of the way through?
Speaker 2: Am I? I remember looking at one of those calendars
Speaker 2: once before where you put the dots with dots on
Speaker 2: each day and it's got what I can't remember what
Speaker 2: that's called. Is that a stoic calendar?
Speaker 1: Not sure?
Speaker 2: I feel like it's something to do with stoicism, but
Speaker 2: I but I do think about life and progress and
Speaker 2: where I'm at, maybe kind of with my goals and
Speaker 2: financially and lifestyle, and do what is this? Is this
Speaker 2: version of life? The version of life that I want
Speaker 2: when I'm fifty or when I'm sixty and beyond. I
Speaker 2: think of all that, probably overthink of all that really.
Speaker 1: So I had a conversation the other day with a lady.
Speaker 1: Her name's Lil Sorry, Lil litl sixty four? Also sorry.
Speaker 2: Sorry she's sixty four or sorry, no, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I don't think she'll well, too late, too late now,
Speaker 1: I don't think she'll mind. But I've known her for
Speaker 1: a long time. I've known her for maybe thirty years.
Speaker 1: She used to be a client back in the days
Speaker 1: when I was training people, and then she went and
Speaker 1: got qualified as a trainer herself, then started to train
Speaker 1: and pad or still trains people. Does a great job,
Speaker 1: got a great business, all that, But there's some stuff
Speaker 1: that she, like all of us, me, me included, she
Speaker 1: needs to address and change. And you know, she's been
Speaker 1: back and forwards with stuff and making decisions and doing
Speaker 1: stuff then undoing it and making them and unmaking them,
Speaker 1: and anyway, we're talking about this whole kind of you know,
Speaker 1: like when do we get really fucking serious about that thing?
Speaker 1: And do we ever get really serious? And like what
Speaker 1: has to happen for us to make a decision that
Speaker 1: we don't unmake, you know? And why do we simultaneously
Speaker 1: know that we shouldn't do that thing because it's bad
Speaker 1: for our health, our mind, our lifestyle, our sleep or whatever.
Speaker 1: But we do it. We consciously choose to do that.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about you who's fit, lean, strong, and
Speaker 1: it's a bit of chocolate. I'm talking about people who,
Speaker 1: you know, like, for a range of reasons, kind of
Speaker 1: do stuff which is quite detrimental to their physical, mental,
Speaker 1: and emotional health. No judgment in here, just curiosity. And
Speaker 1: what was interesting was we're talking about this and like
Speaker 1: I said, sixty four so statistically she's got nineteen years
Speaker 1: to go. Now. I know this sounds morbid, but I
Speaker 1: think sometimes this is going to sound maybe even counterintuitive,
Speaker 1: but I think sometimes the way to get the most
Speaker 1: out of life is to think about death. In that,
Speaker 1: I said, and I got out the salt shakers and
Speaker 1: the sugar which were on the table. We're at the Hamptons,
Speaker 1: we're chatting, doing a coaching session, and so I put
Speaker 1: one salt shaker and I went, this was when you
Speaker 1: were born. This is and then you know, kind of
Speaker 1: quite a way across the table, this is where we
Speaker 1: are now, and then not far from there, where she's
Speaker 1: going to be. And when you look at it as
Speaker 1: a line and you go, here's sixty four years and
Speaker 1: here's the nineteen years you've got left. And she went
Speaker 1: and because there was almost well not almost, because there
Speaker 1: was this like visual representation, it really fucked with her
Speaker 1: head a little bit. Well that's really depressing, I go, Well, not,
Speaker 1: I go, it just is what it is. I said.
Speaker 1: Even if I'm let's say I'm normal, I'm typical. Who
Speaker 1: knows I could live longer or shorter. I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: But if I am typical, I'm seventy five percent through
Speaker 1: my life, because for dudes, it's about eighty and I'm sixty.
Speaker 1: So that's not being morbid, that's not being negative or pessimistic,
Speaker 1: that's just going in fact, if anything, it makes me
Speaker 1: want to do more, think better, create better. How do
Speaker 1: I optimize me if I've only got twenty years left,
Speaker 1: which I hope I have more, But if I've only
Speaker 1: got twenty years, how do I make those fucking great?
Speaker 1: You know? And I think the having a kind of
Speaker 1: an awareness of your mortality without being morbid, you know,
Speaker 1: without being sad or negative. You know, I think it
Speaker 1: can actually help us embrace the now and the living,
Speaker 1: you know, like we're every single one of us, every
Speaker 1: day is getting older. You know. It's like I Googled
Speaker 1: this morning. I'm not googled. I just before I chat
Speaker 1: GPT because I couldn't be bothered doing the numbers, including
Speaker 1: leap years and shit. And from when I was born
Speaker 1: my date of birth until today is twenty two thousand,
Speaker 1: two hundred days today, like twenty two thousand, two hundred
Speaker 1: so if we figure that out as like, well, that's
Speaker 1: three quarters of my journey, then I've got maybe seven
Speaker 1: thousand and a bit more days, right, And you go,
Speaker 1: oh fuck. Then all of a sudden, you're like, because
Speaker 1: that doesn't seem like that many. You know, it's a few,
Speaker 1: but you know, and I just think that having that
Speaker 1: context out, you know, thinking about health span, thinking about lifespan,
Speaker 1: thinking about what I might do whatever age I am at,
Speaker 1: whether I'm forty one like you, or sixty like me,
Speaker 1: or sixty four like lil like between now and when
Speaker 1: I leave this mortal coil, as Mary Harper calls it,
Speaker 1: when I go home to the big fella, As Mary says,
Speaker 1: I don't know if there is a home or a
Speaker 1: big fellow, but let's just cross our fingers, our etherorial fingers,
Speaker 1: and like, what what can I do to make the
Speaker 1: next whatever it is, five ten, twenty, thirty, forty years
Speaker 1: better than it might have been if I just continue
Speaker 1: on my current trajectory? You know, do you ever think
Speaker 1: about all that stuff?
Speaker 2: Oh? Heaps? And you know what, even lately I've been
Speaker 2: very reflective on right, because also understanding what our values
Speaker 2: are and what relationship we have with our circumstances is very,
Speaker 2: very challenging and difficult moment to moment because it evolves,
Speaker 2: but we hold on to what was once our current
Speaker 2: way of thinking. So we learn something about ourselves, we
Speaker 2: learn how we understand something and relate to it, and
Speaker 2: then we hold that and then we live life and
Speaker 2: it evolves on us, sometimes without taking our conscious mind
Speaker 2: with it. So this week especially, I've been thinking about
Speaker 2: because you know, we talked last time about my body's
Speaker 2: not responding to things, you know, like I'm having it.
Speaker 2: I'm having a lot of physical, mental, and emotional ebbs
Speaker 2: and flows lately, and it's hard, and training is hard,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, Okay, what do we need And to
Speaker 2: step away from the intensity of boxing and training the
Speaker 2: way I love to train that makes me feel better,
Speaker 2: just to surrender to that and take up some yoga
Speaker 2: for a while. I've had to actually also reflect on,
Speaker 2: hang on, what's your attachment to these things and changing
Speaker 2: it for now. It doesn't mean changing it forever, but
Speaker 2: your resistance to it maybe means that you've you've come
Speaker 2: back to an unhealthy attachment or an identity with it
Speaker 2: and the way I identify.
Speaker 1: Hmmm, Wow, that's interesting. Yeah, I was thinking, if my
Speaker 1: life is a one foot ruler, I'm three inches from
Speaker 1: the end. Oh, that's fucking scary, isn't it.
Speaker 2: It is? And also the idea that that's that's kind
Speaker 2: of best case scenario.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And also with every day that passes, the ability for life,
Speaker 2: quality of life, yes, is statistically going to be lower.
Speaker 2: So to make the assumptions that I'll just do all
Speaker 2: this work and then I'll and then at this point
Speaker 2: I'll go and live, bask and whatever. The book that
Speaker 2: I love, I think I've mentioned it before, and it's
Speaker 2: not exactly this topic, but it's philosophies are the same.
Speaker 2: It's called Die with Zero, and it talks about money
Speaker 2: and finances.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: It talks about how to live life, creating memories not
Speaker 2: material things and understand it's actually I think it's a
Speaker 2: really great book. And even on this topic finances aside,
Speaker 2: I think it gets your mind relating to life a
Speaker 2: little bit differently.
Speaker 1: Hmmm. That is well, that is quite a philosophical and
Speaker 1: almost spiritual kind of perspective to take, and I like it.
Speaker 1: Will you think about and I know with this as
Speaker 1: old ground, but you know, we're all I won't say all,
Speaker 1: but most of us listening to this event taught and
Speaker 1: told and trained that success is about things. You know
Speaker 1: that as you and I were talking about before, when
Speaker 1: I was talking to you about the upcoming works of
Speaker 1: workshops that I'm doing, we're talking about the background and that.
Speaker 1: But like we're taught that success is about what you
Speaker 1: have and what you earn and what you own. And
Speaker 1: you know, what you look like and where you live
Speaker 1: and your money and you and how many people kind
Speaker 1: of have ticked a lot of those boxes and in
Speaker 1: the middle of it, and you experienced this last week
Speaker 1: where you were just having a shit week and nothing
Speaker 1: shit was going on. Yeah, and you know, I've lately,
Speaker 1: I've had a couple of not shit days. But I've
Speaker 1: said to you and I don't you know, nothing not
Speaker 1: depression or but just like, sometimes the way I feel
Speaker 1: is not reflective of what's going on in my life
Speaker 1: because for the most part, my life is somewhere between
Speaker 1: good and fucking great, you know, but we're all human
Speaker 1: and normal. And then you like, how many people do
Speaker 1: we know as they go through their life and they
Speaker 1: have in that backdrop of thinking that is successes. And
Speaker 1: I'll be successful when I'll be happy, when I'll be
Speaker 1: fulfilled when and then they get there, or they get
Speaker 1: a version of there, or they get to the top
Speaker 1: of the mountain, as we've spoken about a bit lately,
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, fuck, I'm on the wrong mountain.
Speaker 1: It's over there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's having an awareness on a deeper meaning. And
Speaker 2: I remember reflecting on a friend of mine as opposed
Speaker 2: to mine. Is the way I am with savings and
Speaker 2: money and financial security and her way and with polar opposites,
Speaker 2: you know. But she has had experience after experience, and
Speaker 2: she has traveled extensively and always has the means to
Speaker 2: do that, but doesn't have the financial security. And part
Speaker 2: of me envies that of her, but he is very
Speaker 2: aware that I could do that. But something inside of
Speaker 2: me that probably needs a whole lot of unpacking and
Speaker 2: work just cannot allow me to to live. I have
Speaker 2: this thing, and I think it's security, abandonment, loss. There's
Speaker 2: some deep stuff that goes on inside me that probably
Speaker 2: needs unpacking, Goddess to know where to start, but it
Speaker 2: prevents me from surrendering to a way of life will
Speaker 2: probably be more rewarding at times.
Speaker 1: Wow, that is very brave of you to say that,
Speaker 1: very very self aware. Like I think when there's a
Speaker 1: thing that we think we maybe should do or could do,
Speaker 1: or might be a better version of our current existence,
Speaker 1: and we don't do it, and we consciously don't do it,
Speaker 1: you know, it's because, Yeah, that's surrendering. I love that,
Speaker 1: But it's a fear thing. It's like, what's the fear.
Speaker 1: Fear is I guess that life will be worse, that
Speaker 1: you'll be a kind of vulnerable. That's bad, you know,
Speaker 1: and it is it's all well and good to talk about.
Speaker 1: Like it's easy to talk about this stuff, isn't it. Vulnerability?
Speaker 1: You know, surrendering and like living your best life and
Speaker 1: you know, serving others and having a purpose bigger than
Speaker 1: you and all of these things that we talk about
Speaker 1: a lot. And I believe all of those things, and
Speaker 1: I teach those things, and half the time I'm all
Speaker 1: of it, and half the time I'm the opposite, you know.
Speaker 1: It's like half the time I'm a fucking idiot, And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know that this stuff is true, that
Speaker 1: I can be so selfish in the moment or even
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe not unaware. I think I actually know,
Speaker 1: but I've just you know, I'm just in avoidance or denial.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there's a difference between understanding the concept and
Speaker 2: I think people who struggle with stings in any given
Speaker 2: time throughout their life are the ones who understand it
Speaker 2: and articulate it better. I know, I can articulate things
Speaker 2: that I still feel like I forever grapple with and
Speaker 2: I've made progress in some areas, but in the most
Speaker 2: meaningful areas of my life, it's still an ever present challenge.
Speaker 2: And you know, the inner critic wants to call that
Speaker 2: being a fraud, but the reality is no leaps in bounds.
Speaker 2: It's just self awareness, and it's everybody.
Speaker 1: Why do you think that we do things which in
Speaker 1: the moment Maybe I'm answering the question in the question,
Speaker 1: but anyway, why do we do things which kind of
Speaker 1: make us feel great in the moment, but we know
Speaker 1: that over the long term it's going to fuck us up,
Speaker 1: or it has the potential to fuck us up. Like,
Speaker 1: why do we have that right now mentality? Why are
Speaker 1: we all about instant gratification? Why do we find it
Speaker 1: so hard to go to be able to deny ourselves
Speaker 1: something in the moment to create something better over the
Speaker 1: long term.
Speaker 2: I think we're driven by our chemical makeup. We're driven, right,
Speaker 2: So we're driven for things. So where there's the thinking
Speaker 2: us and then there's the beast of a body that
Speaker 2: we live inside that has been given the means to
Speaker 2: give us chemistry that creates behavior and outcome. And so
Speaker 2: we can know like I know that that six minute
Speaker 2: walk to that beautiful cookie shop I discovered last week
Speaker 2: that I've been to four times since. I know that's
Speaker 2: not the answer, but in the moment, that is the answer.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, if you were you could rationalize it,
Speaker 1: you know the power of now, Well it's now, You've
Speaker 1: got to be in the moment and here I am,
Speaker 1: me and the cookie in the moment, you can all
Speaker 1: get rooted. Like this is the dichotomy is because on
Speaker 1: the one hand, we don't want to be living in
Speaker 1: the past the future, but and we do want to
Speaker 1: be in the present. But the reality is, you know,
Speaker 1: we're going to have a lot a lot more present
Speaker 1: moments moving forward, let's hope. I think it's it's trying
Speaker 1: to get trying to get the balance. And also, you know,
Speaker 1: for somebody like you who trains virtually every day and
Speaker 1: who other than the chocolate and the cookies. You know,
Speaker 1: your diet is very very strict, you know, like it's
Speaker 1: it's not an issue for you. If you were morbidly
Speaker 1: obese or unhealthy, or pre diabetic or diabetic or and
Speaker 1: you were doing that, then that would be a problem.
Speaker 1: But you ain't that, So I don't I think if
Speaker 1: it did get to a point where it was a
Speaker 1: real physical issue, a real health problem for you, I
Speaker 1: can't see you continuing that behavior.
Speaker 2: No. And that's that's just awareness and flexibility. And sometimes
Speaker 2: I'm worse at it, and sometimes I'm really good and
Speaker 2: so and it's taken me a lot of years to
Speaker 2: be lenient on myself, and that's just because of the
Speaker 2: awareness that doing something and then having a horrific inner
Speaker 2: narrative about it is only creating more stress and angst
Speaker 2: in my system. So it's the ability to just do
Speaker 2: something and let it go and go, well, that's just information.
Speaker 2: We're going to just observe that and be okay with it,
Speaker 2: and we'll make decisions each time those moments come up,
Speaker 2: and maybe one day the decisions will be different, but
Speaker 2: each time I'll just be curious about it. Each time,
Speaker 2: the cookie will be a delicious moment in the middle
Speaker 2: of that.
Speaker 1: You know, so many times I've worked with people over
Speaker 1: the years who, you know, they did really well for
Speaker 1: a period of time a week, two weeks, three weeks,
Speaker 1: four weeks, five weeks, and then they had a let's
Speaker 1: just call it a stumble or a fuck up. You know,
Speaker 1: they went out and they ended up eating a pizza
Speaker 1: or they had they were having a shit day. So
Speaker 1: they ate four Tim Tams. And then because they opened
Speaker 1: the pizza door or the Tim Tam door, then they go, ah,
Speaker 1: now I've fucked it, I've fucked it. And then there's
Speaker 1: this cascade of shitty behavior, you know, because they think
Speaker 1: that they undid four weeks of good behavior with four
Speaker 1: Tim Tams. And I always say, you know, the Tim
Speaker 1: Tams ain't the problem. It's the emotional and psychological and
Speaker 1: behavior reaction and your story after the for Tim Tams,
Speaker 1: you know, not great, but no one's dying from for
Speaker 1: Tim Tams, especially after four weeks of great behavior. But
Speaker 1: it's like, maybe, you know, and this is something that
Speaker 1: for me is important because I personally I'm a bit
Speaker 1: all or nothing and we all know that, but I
Speaker 1: would not recommend all or nothing for most people, you know.
Speaker 1: It's it's like, I've never drunk, I've never been high.
Speaker 1: I don't eat cake, I don't eat cookies, I don't
Speaker 1: eat you know. But maybe, like I think I've got
Speaker 1: it right for me, but I think for a lot
Speaker 1: of people, my right would be there wrong, you know,
Speaker 1: like for you for example.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm all or nothing with some things but
Speaker 2: not with others. Like I don't drink very often at all.
Speaker 2: I drink less now simply because my sleep and my
Speaker 2: performance in life is so important and it gets impacted.
Speaker 2: But I also don't, for myself, believe that having a
Speaker 2: drink every now and then is a problem. And some
Speaker 2: people like to cut it out completely and go nat
Speaker 2: never again, and I go, well, no, because there's also
Speaker 2: for me, I think sometimes there's benefits. Sometimes I think, gee,
Speaker 2: if my sleep wasn't packing it in lately, there's times
Speaker 2: when I'll be like, gee, I wish I could just
Speaker 2: have a glove wine and chill out, you know, for
Speaker 2: one night this week or something, because I know that
Speaker 2: the impact of having a glass of something and just
Speaker 2: being able to let go a little bit and just
Speaker 2: relax there is that experience to that. Which I don't
Speaker 2: think is we don't have to always frame that as
Speaker 2: being escapism, which a lot of people who have overcome
Speaker 2: their own relationship with alcohol would like to point to
Speaker 2: everyone and go, well, that's escapism. It's like, well, no,
Speaker 2: that's not what my relationship is with that.
Speaker 1: Yes, well that's exactly that. That's a significant factor. Be
Speaker 1: it with food, be it with booze, you know, be
Speaker 1: it with whatever, sex, gambling. It's like, how does that thing,
Speaker 1: that variable impact your life, your health, your mindset? You know,
Speaker 1: Like even something like exercise can be destructive if people
Speaker 1: get to the point where it's all they fucking think about,
Speaker 1: and it's you know, they exercise five hours a day
Speaker 1: despite all of these negative consequences. You know. I think
Speaker 1: it's called athletic and nevosa, you know, where people just
Speaker 1: lose their ship and that just becomes a new addiction. So, like,
Speaker 1: anything can be destructive. You know. It's like buying shit online,
Speaker 1: as we were talking about. For some people that's just
Speaker 1: a really intelligent, convenient option, and it means they don't
Speaker 1: have to jump in the station wagon and pack in
Speaker 1: two kids and go to the supermarket and it's like,
Speaker 1: let's order that ship and just it arrives, you know,
Speaker 1: as long as Tiff doesn't get her hands on it
Speaker 1: because she's stealing, don't. Yeah, you know, but but it's
Speaker 1: that just that ability to be able to understand, you know,
Speaker 1: when and if like, you know, what's that Lady's name
Speaker 1: is Sarah gray Batch, great, Sarah Russbatch, Sarah sorry, Sarah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Sarah ruspat Yeah. And she talks about that gray area
Speaker 1: drinking where it really starts, not necessarily an alcoholic, but
Speaker 1: kind of heading in the direction and where you've got
Speaker 1: to have enough self awareness to be able to encourage,
Speaker 1: I guess to recognize, well, you know, maybe I'm not
Speaker 1: a falling down drunk, but at the same time, this
Speaker 1: is not making my life any better. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I was going to say about four months ago, maybe
Speaker 1: five months ago now. I went up and I saw
Speaker 1: Ron and Mary, my mum and dad for those who
Speaker 1: don't know, and we went out for dinner. And Ron
Speaker 1: just turned eighty five, so he was, you know, eighty
Speaker 1: four and a half in a bit, and I was
Speaker 1: just I hadn't seen them for a couple of months,
Speaker 1: and I was shocked, don't tell my dad this everyone.
Speaker 1: I was shocked how bad he was walking and he's
Speaker 1: you know, like his balance and his I'm like, oh god,
Speaker 1: it's like he got two years older in two months.
Speaker 1: But what is amazing as we're talking about hell span
Speaker 1: and lifespan and function and quality of life and longevity.
Speaker 1: So that week I committed to being able to try
Speaker 1: to not fix it because I can't fix it, but
Speaker 1: to help him empower, support and courage finance to fix it.
Speaker 1: So I got the amazing Josh Whittaker shout out to Josh,
Speaker 1: who's an exose physiologist who lives up near mom and dad.
Speaker 1: He's working with dad once a week. We joined him
Speaker 1: up to a gym. I'm going up on Saturdays and
Speaker 1: he's going to the gym himself once a week now,
Speaker 1: so three times a week, the now eighty five year old.
Speaker 1: And what's fucking amazing is he is I mean he's
Speaker 1: still eighty five and he doesn't move like a teenager,
Speaker 1: but he is so much better than he was six
Speaker 1: months ago. Like he's stronger, his balance is better, he's walking,
Speaker 1: his confidence, his gait, you know, his stride length, his
Speaker 1: general stability, like everything is better. And you think he's
Speaker 1: an eighty four and a half eighty five year old
Speaker 1: now who's doing something that most people, even at fifty five,
Speaker 1: are like, oh, I'm too old to go to the gym.
Speaker 1: You know, he's gone to the gym three days a
Speaker 1: week and he's improving significantly, and not only is he
Speaker 1: getting stronger and better balance, but also you know, the
Speaker 1: quality of life is better. Like a month and a
Speaker 1: half two months ago, I got him a stick and
Speaker 1: he was walking with a walking stick. He's not walking
Speaker 1: with a stick anymore because he doesn't need it, like
Speaker 1: you know, so I guess the that's none of that
Speaker 1: is a surprise to you, tif but to our listeners,
Speaker 1: it's like, your body is really fucking adaptable, and when
Speaker 1: even if you think you're pass it and you might
Speaker 1: not make the Olympic team, and you might not run
Speaker 1: a marathon and you might not do twenty chinups, but
Speaker 1: anything is better than nothing.
Speaker 2: You know, And I think point out the things that
Speaker 2: aren't just the physical work he's doing, but now he
Speaker 2: has two people that come and connect and also the
Speaker 2: words that you choose to use when you're speaking to him,
Speaker 2: Like I'm so mindful of listening to both myself and
Speaker 2: my client's dialogue around how we talk about life and
Speaker 2: movement and progress and everything. I'm very aware that that's
Speaker 2: the stuff that gets embedded. There's your sixty minutes with him,
Speaker 2: and then there's the words that embed themselves unbeknowns to him,
Speaker 2: that linger in his mind. And also just that moment
Speaker 2: of connection where there's two guys rocking up, playing a
Speaker 2: part and giving him a bit of purpose and then
Speaker 2: he starts to see progress. There's so much that's not
Speaker 2: just stress.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. Oh yeah, I love that. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: you know what, like my dad's language, I love language
Speaker 1: is words of affirmation. So it's very easy to make
Speaker 1: him feel loved. Yeah, because he is progressing and he
Speaker 1: is doing a good job, and I am proud of him,
Speaker 1: and you know, I do pump up his ties and
Speaker 1: I tell him how strong he's getting, and I tell
Speaker 1: him how much better he's moving. And it's a better
Speaker 1: range of movement, and he's more skillful, and he's doing
Speaker 1: all the movements, you know, way better than he wasn't like,
Speaker 1: And so I don't even have to I don't have
Speaker 1: to manufacture it or try I just need to literally report,
Speaker 1: you know, and so there's yeah, you're right, sociological, psychological, emotional,
Speaker 1: and physiological benefits and that. And also we know that
Speaker 1: as you're alluding to, like spending time with a couple
Speaker 1: of guys that you know, Josh and myself even though
Speaker 1: i'm his son, Like spending time with people who care
Speaker 1: about you and want the best for you. It's it's healing,
Speaker 1: Like it's literally boosts your immune system. It's literally good
Speaker 1: for your brain chemistry. You know, on top of the
Speaker 1: dopamine that you get and the cognitive benefits that you
Speaker 1: get from lifting weights, there's also the oxytocin that your
Speaker 1: body is producing when there's a bit of love going on.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I think that over time, you know, with
Speaker 2: doctor Bill and reflecting on how I came to the
Speaker 2: point where one day I just realized this is this
Speaker 2: has actually got my progress has nothing to do with
Speaker 2: what we talk about, and everything to do with the
Speaker 2: role that he plays when he shows up regularly into
Speaker 2: my world and the relationship we have and helping knows me.
Speaker 2: So it's not the work we do. And I think
Speaker 2: my awareness on that at some point again unconsciously transferred
Speaker 2: over into me realizing that was my role with my
Speaker 2: clients is that I show up and it's not one
Speaker 2: given session, it's who are they, who do they need
Speaker 2: and how can I benefit them as well as just
Speaker 2: whatever they're lead present at the time.
Speaker 1: But I tell you a secret, that's what I try
Speaker 1: to be for you, and I've always tried that well,
Speaker 1: I've always tried to be that for you. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: I can help you technically and give you you know,
Speaker 1: all that, but also for you to have I don't
Speaker 1: mean this to sound weird. I've never said to this
Speaker 1: to you even like I've never said this to you,
Speaker 1: So this is a very public way to do it.
Speaker 1: But I know that you've had a shit run with blokes,
Speaker 1: you know, and just to have a mail in your
Speaker 1: life that actually just wants the best for you, that
Speaker 1: doesn't want anything back, you know, just somebody who goes
Speaker 1: somebody hopefully that I hope there's a bit of trust
Speaker 1: and all that respect and all that, but that coming
Speaker 1: from somebody that you respect genuinely wants you to do well,
Speaker 1: Like not not pretend, you know. I used to say
Speaker 1: to my clients my trainers all the time, care like,
Speaker 1: don't pretend to care, actually care, And if you don't
Speaker 1: actually care, do not do this job because people know,
Speaker 1: even if you say all the right things, if it's bullshit,
Speaker 1: people know, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I literally had the conversation with him before this podcast.
Speaker 2: That was my appointment that I came straight out of.
Speaker 2: And I've talked about you being that literally, I'm not
Speaker 2: even just saying this. I was talking about how I
Speaker 2: relate to men and experience them, and how few of
Speaker 2: them are in the world where I will really lean
Speaker 2: in to any level of intimacy. Not physical intimacy obviously,
Speaker 2: but just vulnerability. And you were one of two people
Speaker 2: I mentioned, and I said, and there's the people I love,
Speaker 2: but there's there's this invisible wall and this awareness and
Speaker 2: this guard that I will that I inherently can't drop.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, thank you, Ah, pleasure, pleasure, I love.
Speaker 1: I love being able to contribute in a small way.
Speaker 1: But you know it's somebody reached out to me about
Speaker 1: a month ago. I can't say who, doesn't matter, but
Speaker 1: you've trained, You've trained with this person at the gym.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you who it was, but you know who
Speaker 1: it is a person who's come to the gym lately,
Speaker 1: and I've helped this person a bit right. And I
Speaker 1: saw them yesterday and I could tell they thinking, why
Speaker 1: is he helping me? And I had to say I
Speaker 1: didn't have to, but I kind of I just said,
Speaker 1: I want you to know that, like I'm helping you
Speaker 1: because someone asks, someone that I know and care about asked,
Speaker 1: and someone that I trust, and and so that's why.
Speaker 1: And I said, I don't want anything, like I don't.
Speaker 1: I really don't want anything. You don't need to tell
Speaker 1: people that I'm helping you. You don't need to thank
Speaker 1: me every time, you don't, you know. And it's like,
Speaker 1: and I don't always do that, and I'm not always
Speaker 1: that for people, and you can't be everything for everyone,
Speaker 1: but that you know that, and I guess even speaking
Speaker 1: about it kind of negates it. I'm not, I'm which
Speaker 1: is kind of silly, but I'm you know that whole
Speaker 1: Like the Bible talks about when you give, don't let
Speaker 1: your left hand know what your right hand's doing, like
Speaker 1: when you can genuinely come from that place And I
Speaker 1: don't always, but I try to where you're just like
Speaker 1: caring about someone and loving someone and being being maybe
Speaker 1: what that person needs. You know, you know, there's yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a whole bunch of that going on at the moment.
Speaker 1: And it's like when I because I can be a selfish,
Speaker 1: self centered dick for a range of reasons, but I'm
Speaker 1: always aware of or trying to be self aware in
Speaker 1: that space and that being that because it's so it's
Speaker 1: so easy in this self help, personal growth, health wellness
Speaker 1: online you know, to be cheesy and bullshitty and say
Speaker 1: all the stuff that is not actually when you pull
Speaker 1: the curtain back, it's not true.
Speaker 2: Yeah, last night at my Buddhist meditation class, the topic
Speaker 2: and I'd missed the week before, so I didn't get
Speaker 2: the first of the series. It was a series of
Speaker 2: a topic, and the topic was understanding, So they were
Speaker 2: unpacking love what and differentiating between attachment and that. They
Speaker 2: talked about three types of love, but the one they
Speaker 2: talked about last night was affectionate love. And just listening
Speaker 2: to that and it's funny because as I was listening
Speaker 2: and taking in the things that they were speaking of,
Speaker 2: and there's this ability to love someone unconditionally like a
Speaker 2: mother likes a child. But just what was funny for
Speaker 2: me is going, what do I associate with love? Because
Speaker 2: I've found it for years, to say I love you
Speaker 2: to people that I love, or to let them know
Speaker 2: that I love them felt so loaded, so loaded with
Speaker 2: expectation and something that I that I didn't I wasn't
Speaker 2: brave enough to say. And yeah, I think just listening
Speaker 2: and going, oh, like it's okay to when if I
Speaker 2: say I love you to someone that I'm not putting
Speaker 2: any expectation or want on them, there's and I think
Speaker 2: that for me, this discomfort is around well people, if
Speaker 2: you allow someone to be in your world and connect
Speaker 2: with you on you lay yourself to be vulnerable, then
Speaker 2: you don't have any boundaries and they get to take
Speaker 2: from you or they get to You're allowed you. You're
Speaker 2: saying yes to whatever they want. It's just weird. It
Speaker 2: was just like going on stuff coming up. This is
Speaker 2: not on the other.
Speaker 1: Do you remember the other I know maybe they didn't
Speaker 1: talk about it, but three kinds of love affectionate love.
Speaker 1: Do you know what the others are?
Speaker 2: I think one was cherishing love, cherishing love. I can't
Speaker 2: remember the descriptions. I remember affectionate love. And because it
Speaker 2: wasn't really about how you like affection, it was just
Speaker 2: it was about giving love just for love's sake and
Speaker 2: not not because you want. And what was interesting is
Speaker 2: because I think about people in relationships and how we
Speaker 2: we most relationships have a version of attachment. We love
Speaker 2: with the conditions of I love you, but you need
Speaker 2: to behave like this because you know in relationships, especially
Speaker 2: you know intimate relationships, as monogamous relationships, there are expectations
Speaker 2: and kind of there are boundaries and rules spoken or unspoken.
Speaker 2: And I was finding a lot coming up querying, well,
Speaker 2: how do we navigate how do people navigate those relationships
Speaker 2: if we just love unconditionally, Like, how do we how
Speaker 2: do we love ourselves and then be okay with whatever?
Speaker 2: I don't know, goods debt.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was trying to find that there's a scripture
Speaker 1: that's always read out. Sorry, everyone's bore you with scriptures,
Speaker 1: but it's a bit of my background. It's like it's
Speaker 1: known as like the wedding passage in Corinthians. What is it?
Speaker 1: It's like, Yeah, lover's patient. Love is kind, Love does
Speaker 1: not envy or boast. Love is not eric and or rude.
Speaker 1: It does not insist on its own way. Love is
Speaker 1: not irritable or is zemful. It does not rejoice it wrongdoing,
Speaker 1: but rejoices in the truth. And it's like where love lives,
Speaker 1: there is no fear and all this it goes on.
Speaker 1: But it's like, yeah, that like love is not a strategy,
Speaker 1: you know. Sometimes that's why love is like loving is.
Speaker 1: It's it's vulnerable, like you you know. I was listening
Speaker 1: to these two ladies talk on a podcast, right, and
Speaker 1: they're talking about when you send a message to someone
Speaker 1: and you put and it could be like just like
Speaker 1: I often will put a kiss at the end if
Speaker 1: I'm sending it to a mate, but it's like or
Speaker 1: a heart, Like if I send Patrick messages because we
Speaker 1: know each other well, I'll often put kiss, kiss or
Speaker 1: heart or whatever. Right, When you send a message to
Speaker 1: someone and you send two kisses and they send a
Speaker 1: message back with no affection and you're like, oh, or
Speaker 1: they send a heart and you think, fuck, do I
Speaker 1: have to send a heart back because I don't know
Speaker 1: this person that well. Or you send the message which
Speaker 1: might be semi business or something, and you just put
Speaker 1: a heart at the end because that's your habit, and
Speaker 1: then you're like, oh, fuck, I just sent you know
Speaker 1: that bloke from BHP. I'm doing a gig for I
Speaker 1: just send him a red heart, old mate at fucking
Speaker 1: head office, and I'm like, how do I undo this
Speaker 1: red heart that I just said? This dude, it's like
Speaker 1: these social kind of expectations or standards of with texting
Speaker 1: and messaging in the fucking electronic form.
Speaker 2: So yeah, you don't know what people associate with that.
Speaker 2: I'm the same. I put kisses and hearts on the
Speaker 2: end of most messages and sometimes if I'm messaging some
Speaker 2: bloke or a client, I'm like, oh, I got to
Speaker 2: delete that. I'm like, oh, I don't want to send
Speaker 2: them out because you don't know how they're going to
Speaker 2: interpret it. Well, yeah, it flirty.
Speaker 1: If i'm it's funny because if so my best mates,
Speaker 1: so you know Vin from school, Greg from my churchy days,
Speaker 1: the Crab of course, who I trained, like all of them,
Speaker 1: all of my mates Patrick all heart, They all get
Speaker 1: hearts and kisses. The Crab though, the bloke whose life
Speaker 1: I saved, the bloke I had my mouth on his
Speaker 1: mouth for eleven minutes trying to fucking bring him back
Speaker 1: from the dead. If I send him a heart, that'd
Speaker 1: be it'd be all over. He wouldn't know what he'd
Speaker 1: have a fucking aneurysm. He wouldn't know what to do.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't joke about that. He wouldn't know what to do,
Speaker 1: you know. It's like yeah, yeah, And it was funny.
Speaker 1: When I passed my final academic milestone for my PhD,
Speaker 1: he taking he's taken. This one's sound interesting. I apologize,
Speaker 1: But for the crab, this is a fucking major emotional breakthrough.
Speaker 1: Like this is like, okay, this is big. Anyway, So
Speaker 1: he came to the gym the day, you know, we're training.
Speaker 1: That night I had my final review through the day.
Speaker 1: I was really nervous. I was pretty sure I was
Speaker 1: going to fail. Anyway, I got through. I got through,
Speaker 1: I passed, and he's like, he came up and he
Speaker 1: gave me a hug. I'm like, who are you? Who's
Speaker 1: hijacked my friend's body? Like he's never ever given me
Speaker 1: a hug? And he goes, oh, I guess I better
Speaker 1: hug you then, and he gave me a hug. I'm like,
Speaker 1: and it's funny, like and it was clunky and awkward,
Speaker 1: but I fucking loved that hug. That's probably the only
Speaker 1: one I'm ever going to get, right.
Speaker 2: I was just about to say that. Just savor that moment.
Speaker 1: It's the fucking unicorn, that's the four leaf clover of hugs.
Speaker 1: That motherfucker is never happening again. So it's burned into
Speaker 1: my my cells, never letting it go.
Speaker 2: It's funny because he's such a gentle soul that I
Speaker 2: wouldn't have picked him to be a non hugger. I
Speaker 2: would have actually picked the opposit. I would have picked
Speaker 2: him to be a real hugger. I think you tried
Speaker 2: to trick me once when I didn't know, and you
Speaker 2: will go give him a hug. He wants a hug
Speaker 2: and the look, but what was the Oh.
Speaker 1: God, yeah, I fuck off with your hugs. And you
Speaker 1: know what else. He doesn't do compliments, compliments like has
Speaker 1: he ever said to you you look great? I mean
Speaker 1: you've met it a thousand times. No, No, he's never
Speaker 1: ever Not that I need it.
Speaker 2: Maybe I've never looked great, so that puts an effort
Speaker 2: in next time.
Speaker 1: He's funny, though, but he would think you look great.
Speaker 1: He just won't tell you. It's like my dad. It's
Speaker 1: been to the Ron Harper School of communication.
Speaker 2: Well, it's not been that long since I started paying
Speaker 2: attention to the fact that, hey, Tiff, people don't do
Speaker 2: Like I said before, people don't know you love them
Speaker 2: unless you tell them. All the people that you love
Speaker 2: so deeply that you that are meaningful friends to you,
Speaker 2: most of them don't know. And you're always so busy
Speaker 2: that the amount of time you spend with them is
Speaker 2: going to indicate that you need to tell people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know big Josh, who's been on the show
Speaker 1: it was on recently. I don't know how much I
Speaker 1: meant to say, but anyway, so he's been through a
Speaker 1: reasonably incht I'll tell you off fair but I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't without his permission share. But you know, so
Speaker 1: a kind of a good thing, not a bad thing,
Speaker 1: a good thing. And so I just sent him a
Speaker 1: message before because I haven't spoken to him for a
Speaker 1: few weeks and like I love Josh, like Josh. If
Speaker 1: you met Josh in his heyday, Josh is a or
Speaker 1: was a you know, Australia's best body built one hundred
Speaker 1: and forty kilo giant muscles on muscles on muscles. But
Speaker 1: underneath all that, he's just a big baby that needs love,
Speaker 1: you know, not in a pathetic way, it's just you know,
Speaker 1: and him and I have a good relationship and I'm
Speaker 1: like a bit of a big brother to him, and
Speaker 1: you know, every now and then I just send him
Speaker 1: some love. I just go home, mate, thinking about you.
Speaker 1: Hope you're great, hope you're healing up. I hope you're
Speaker 1: not in too much pain, and love your lots. And
Speaker 1: it's like three sentences and then he right, you know,
Speaker 1: And I just think it's good that men men and
Speaker 1: women too. But it can be a bit precarious when
Speaker 1: I send that kind of a message to women, and
Speaker 1: it shouldn't be, but I understand it. But it's I think,
Speaker 1: like I'm more comfortable than ever I have been in
Speaker 1: my life with telling men that I love them and
Speaker 1: not like love ya and punch them on the shoulder,
Speaker 1: just go like the actual words, I love you, mate,
Speaker 1: and I'm here and if you need anything, and I'm
Speaker 1: not going away and I'm always going to be around
Speaker 1: for you the end, you know, And then it doesn't
Speaker 1: need to be some big fucking emotional saga. But you
Speaker 1: can just say that, right and then if they reach
Speaker 1: out or don't reach out, you've done what you can
Speaker 1: do and you've said you know, I'm here for you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: For me, that's been very liberating. And I've always been
Speaker 1: reasonably huggy, touchy, not touchy that sounds bad, but reasonably
Speaker 1: comfortable hugging my friends. But yeah, going to that next
Speaker 1: level where you actually say I love you, not love
Speaker 1: your punch on the arm, which is very Australian bloke,
Speaker 1: or love your mate, love your mate, you know all
Speaker 1: that but semantics, I guess. But yeah, so well, the
Speaker 1: bottom line is everyone go and hug someone, give them
Speaker 1: some love, and however old you are or young, you
Speaker 1: are back to our original discussion. Well I think the
Speaker 1: original discussion was headphones.
Speaker 2: Fuck.
Speaker 1: We've come a long way, haven't we. We've gone the
Speaker 1: full circle. I don't know. I really don't have any
Speaker 1: more news for you, or any more instructions or wisdom.
Speaker 1: Did I ever have any wisdom? If you want Tiff
Speaker 1: to come and work with your team, she's available, she'svailable,
Speaker 1: she's available for her speaking and coaching and workshops. And
Speaker 1: if you've got an even bigger budget, and so am I.
Speaker 2: Ah sellah Kidney and you can have us both.
Speaker 1: Chop half your leg all right, love you everyone. See
Speaker 1: I didn't say I love you I said love you.
Speaker 1: Have a good day everyone.
Speaker 2: Thanks Stiff, Thanks Harms,