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Speaker 1: This is the Fitsy and with her with Kate Richie podcast.

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Speaker 2: Do you want to share a few things that you're

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Speaker 2: saying to ahead of this story?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but I just want you to help

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Speaker 1: me out what I need to understand.

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Speaker 2: It would be a sure fireway of not having you

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Speaker 2: come in tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Because when she says this.

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Speaker 3: Just dropped two letters on the ground. Hate you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Now we're talking about secret phrases that. Look, I

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Speaker 2: don't think it's only women that perhaps use secret phrases

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Speaker 2: to avoid.

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Speaker 4: Conflict. Sure, but I let's agree we do do it.

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Speaker 2: I did just read something very interesting here, and there

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Speaker 2: may be a reason why women do it more than men.

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Speaker 2: It may be passive aggressiveness, but it's it also makes

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Speaker 2: sense that over centuries, women have been socialized to be

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Speaker 2: more passive generally. So we've been encouraged to, you know,

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Speaker 2: only be gentle and say, you know, have supportive things

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Speaker 2: leave our mouths. So we still say the words, but

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Speaker 2: the intention and the tone has become different as our

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Speaker 2: opinions have mattered.

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Speaker 1: So things like I'm fine, which is the example we

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Speaker 1: gave earlier, I'm fine is not really what you want

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Speaker 1: to hear. No, No, I'm fine doesn't really mean I'm fine.

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Speaker 4: What do you think I'm fine means fitsy?

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Speaker 3: It depends. It also depends on a lot of body language.

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Speaker 4: Look look at you, your big body language.

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Speaker 1: Readers throwing something at you.

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Speaker 3: At the same time, If they can't look you in

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Speaker 3: the eye and say I'm fine, right and they walk

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Speaker 3: away from you, you know they're not fine.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely well, there's this translator that men can mean seriously,

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Speaker 2: can put into the translator and translate the terms. And

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Speaker 2: they're saying that forty percent of women who say I'm

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Speaker 2: fine are actually saying. The translation is I'm totally not fine.

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Speaker 2: And if you don't already know why, that's part of

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Speaker 2: the problem. I mean, I don't think you can be

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Speaker 2: more clear than that.

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Speaker 3: Actually, do you know Apple's just released the AirPod three,

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Speaker 3: the third generation, and you know they translate languages. This

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Speaker 3: would be great for guys to trans women what their

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Speaker 3: wives are saying.

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Speaker 4: Oh they could, they could add that.

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Speaker 1: That is a great idea.

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Speaker 2: I saw that translator thing because there was an article

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Speaker 2: floating around about and I thought about it yesterday because

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Speaker 2: I was lucky enough to have a pedicure and I

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Speaker 2: thought I heard a conversation that I could not understand,

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Speaker 2: and I thought it would be so I would just

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Speaker 2: love it because I like you, Fitz. I'm a mad

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Speaker 2: body language reader, and I'm thinking that they are well

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Speaker 2: or not me, or the woman that's come in and

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Speaker 2: been a bit pushy and wants to see at the front,

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Speaker 2: or you know.

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Speaker 4: He's in a hari.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, I'll just go through a couple of the other

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Speaker 2: phrases they call it. They actually call this kind of

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Speaker 2: language couplish, and it's used to daily dodge conflict, and

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Speaker 2: it comes.

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Speaker 4: It comes in long term love.

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Speaker 2: It's not usually in the early days of relationships, but

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Speaker 2: it's how people get on when they've been together for

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Speaker 2: a while. I love this one, and you can also

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Speaker 2: use it on your kids. We'll see, which means that's

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Speaker 2: a no, but I'm trying to avoid an argument.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, can I get some lollies at the supermarket? We'll see.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, this one.

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Speaker 2: Do whatever you want, which is I guess how you

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Speaker 2: would say it, and that really means I love this.

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Speaker 2: I dare you, I dare you, and just know I

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Speaker 2: will bring this up later.

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Speaker 3: Can I stay for an extra hour down the pub? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, do whatever you want?

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Speaker 3: Whatever you want.

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Speaker 2: I don't really yeah, I don't really care it actually happened.

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Speaker 2: I think people do it with their kids. I did

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Speaker 2: it with my daughter last night when there was a

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Speaker 2: lot of not listening going on and very some great

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Speaker 2: exercises in the learning of patients around, almost as if

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Speaker 2: I'm invisible. I mean, I wanted to make the joke

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Speaker 2: that my daughter should call me Milko from now on,

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Speaker 2: but she didn't get it. Never seen the show. Can

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Speaker 2: we talk later? I need, which means I need time

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Speaker 2: to emotionally prepare or for you to figure out what

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Speaker 2: you did. If you like it, I love it, and

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Speaker 2: that means I hate it, but I'm too tired to

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Speaker 2: fight about it, don't do.

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Speaker 1: You know the other thing? After all of these comments,

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Speaker 1: they're often followed by are you sure? So there's a question,

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Speaker 1: and here's where you get your true answer, And it's

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Speaker 1: in the pitch of what they say next. So Lisa

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Speaker 1: will go yeah, yeah, every window in the house, step on,

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Speaker 1: something shutters with the pitch that she speaks at, and

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Speaker 1: the high the voice, the bigger the lie.

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Speaker 4: Does this look good to me?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay.

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Speaker 2: Here's here's this one.

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Speaker 4: Be very aware be very be you get prepared.

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Speaker 2: If someone starts a conversation with I just think it's funny.

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Speaker 2: How I just think it's funny. How that how she

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Speaker 2: texts you on a Saturday morning. I mean, you guys

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Speaker 2: must be really good friends.

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Speaker 1: Funny at all funny. The other one you hear a

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Speaker 1: lot is does that make sense? It's basically saying I've

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Speaker 1: said what I'm saying and that's our way, that's my way.

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Speaker 1: So if you don't like it, then go elsewhere.

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Speaker 2: I think that's just everybody trying to be don't be

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Speaker 2: very clear that hopefully you understand.

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Speaker 1: Does that make something to you? Okay?

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Speaker 4: You please?

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Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying, because this is where I'm at.

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Speaker 4: Do you even get what I'm saying?

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Speaker 3: Sits in Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast

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Speaker 3: to walk great shows like this, download the Nova player

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Speaker 3: via the app Store or Google playing the Nova player